#they all say Lucretia rather than Lucrezia because that's what Bill does

[gg-prompted-fics]

Prompt: Heterodyne Boys & Co. accidentally messing up Lucrezia's name on their first encounter with the Mongfish family. They burst into the Mongfish lair like: “Ah! You three must be the villain’s beautiful daughters. Demonica, Serpentina, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* Louisa!” And Lucrezia’s just incredulous. They got Demonica’s name right and Serpentina is off in a corner flirting with the DuMedd chap and she’s like “Louisa? Really?!?” And they keep doing it to get a rise out of her.

(My first prompt! I nearly cried with joy when I got it!)

Her hairpins were digging into her scalp, but Lucrezia held her languid postion as her sisters pretended to giggle over fortunetelling. In reality, they were playing a mutated poker game with the Tarot cards, but the illusion of them as brainless sycophants that Father doted on held.

Not that the main audience was appreciating them, as he was too busy screaming as the steam-powered cat-shark automaton nibbled on his toes below in the operating theater.

Lucrezia sighed, and added a ring to the pot, bluffing. She was entirely sure Demonica didn’t have the royal flush she was pretending to. Demonica always went for the grandiose when she lied.

“I’ll raise,” Serpentina cooed happily, dropping one of her bangles into the small pile of jewelry.

“HALT!”

Lucrezia blinked, and saw that one of Father’s minions had stepped forwards, discarding a helmet. Two more followed his lead.

“Are those the Heterodyne Boys?” Demonica gasped, craning her head over Lucrezia’s shoulder.

She most definitely did not have a royal flush, Lucrezia decided.

“It’s your turn,” Lucrezia said, choosing to ignore the chaos created by the intruders.

“I think you’re right,” Serpentina said, game forgotten. “That’s Barry. Look at the googles. Just like in his picture from La Revue Scientifique!”

Below, the intruders had shucked all of their disguises, in the process managing to knock out almost the entirely of Father’s minions.

Father, of course, had only just finished removing his lab coat. Each of his motions was deliberate and slow, meant to show his utter lack of concern for the intruders.

“Release the innocent man, or else!” Barry Heterodyne said.

“Innocent?” Demonica said, rising to her feet in outrage. “Innocent! Ha! Do you even know what he’s done to me?”

Lucrezia took the moment to look Demonica’s cards. A pair of eights. She knew it.

“Ah! You three must be the villain’s beautiful daughters. Demonica, Serpentina, and… Louisa,” the dark haired one said.

The man who looked too young for his white hair kicked him.

“Excuse me, I meant Lucia! Lucia Mongfish and her sisters!”

The man with white hair shook his head, and took a step back, as if abandoning the man – who Lucrezia thought was too stupid to possibly be Bill Heterodyne – to his bloody death at her hands.

***

Within three months, Lucrezia’s name had been butchered beyond all recognition, and Serpentina had very quickly eloped with a Monsieur duMedd, after daring to call her Linguine.

“One of these days, I’m going to murder your friends,” she told the man in her bed, as she finished washing her face.

Klaus’s shrug nearly nearly dislodged the bolt in the wall his manacled wrist was chained to. Briefly, Lucrezia debated having it replaced before he visited next time, and decided against it. Bonds weren’t what kept Klaus coming back to her.

Well, mostly not.

“I don’t think anyone would blame you at this point,” Klaus said. “Lizabetta, I mean really.”

“You’d better get my name right, when you’re screaming it,” she said, putting down her hairbrush, and stalking towards him.

Klaus met her threat with a grin.

***

A few years later, after Bill had finally gotten her name right, and many months after she had sent Klaus off to Skifander so he would stop tempting her, Lucrezia stood in Mechanicsburg, her hands in Bill’s.

“Und do hyu,  Lucretia Monkfish…”

She would have missed it, written off the slight variation in pronunciation as part of the Mechanicsburg accent, if Bill hadn’t smirked as the officiator said her name.

She looked deep into her almost-husband’s eyes, and smiled, as if she had been amused as well, like it was all an inside joke.

Behind her mask, she seethed, and decided she would make sure the whole world knew her name. And how to say it properly.