#these countries hate you dude! your 'communist' daddies want you executed!

[emfrots]

the encroachment of tan kies and genocide deniers (if you'll forgive the redundancy) into queer spaces is actually the most irritating thing in the world. every week i have to block a popular account bc they reblog a post sucking a genocidal state-capitalist dictator's dick. like. if u think uyg hur genocide survivors are paid actors, or support for ukr aine is a CIA psyop. please. please read any news source other than the gre yzone

[catbountry]

Dear Tumblr Communists,

Hi. How you doing? 

Classes going well? Enjoying that new iPhone mommy and daddy got you? No, no, I don’t begrudge you for having them. Just sit a moment.

Look. I think we can agree that capitalism is deeply flawed in its execution. Seeing giant corporations hemming and hawing over paying their employees at the bottom a decent living wage that keeps up with inflation, factories in China (Communist country, btw, but pretty much in name only at this point) with giant nets outside to keep workers from jumping off roofs to kill themselves for those iPhones you keep getting? It’s hard to stomach. Most human beings would feel bad about this, maybe even get angry. Corporations feel like mindless machines that just consume resources to maximize profit for their own benefit, and seem to give back fuck-all to lower-rung employees or the communities in which they take root. No ethical consumption under capitalism, you say. The most fervent anti-communists all seem to be right-wing dickbags who delight in fucking with you. You want a world where all people are truly equal, that wealth is redistributed among the people.

But what exactly does that mean?

I’m not really sure that you know. It just seems like a catchphrase. I mean, you realize that would include your wealth too, right? I think you like having all your stuff. Legendary musician Frank Zappa once said of communism, “Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

And if I’ve seen most of Tumblr, it’s that people on Tumblr love having stuff. They set up links to their Paypals on their pages, and link their Amazon wishlists, filled with man-child toys. Capitalism is all too happy to give you that stuff... just so long as you don’t think too hard about the cost. I’ve seen people on Tumblr, in earnest, try to use self-starting businesses and freelance workers as examples of working “outside” of capitalism.

I got bad news for you. That’s capitalism. Exchanging money between individuals for stuff is the framework for our economy. The government isn’t going to supply you with anime figures and ironic t-shirts. Ever try government cheese? You probably haven’t. Odds are you wouldn’t want your stuff coming from the government.

Personally, I wouldn’t call myself a socialist, as I’m not sure that would exactly describe my particular philosophy as far as the relationship between government and business, but I would prefer that the government actually curb the uglier behaviors of capitalism, because lord knows the corporations won’t do it out of the kindness of their heart. At the same time, I also don’t want to give complete and total control over the production of stuff to the government. I mean, “the people.” But it’s never really actually the people. It never is, with entire countries. The most successful examples of communism seem to only succeed on a teeny, tiny scale. Ask any Russian who lived through the soviet era on how communism worked out for them. The ones I’ve known weren’t exactly fans of it.

And if we’re being honest here, most of you guys are comfortably middle class. Under a communist regime, you think you’re going to be allowed to sit at home and play video games because you have anxiety? Fuck no, you’d be a leech. You got working arms and legs, get the fuck in the factory. Everybody contributes, remember? Oh, you think the wages you earn are too low, that you’re making pennies by the hour? Tough cookies. You make what everybody else makes. Maybe if you were more useful, you’d make more.

Trying to solve the ills of capitalism by abolishing and replacing it with communism is like demolishing your house because the pipes are leaking, or there’s bedbugs. Only rarely have I seen Tumblr singing the praises of unions, of government regulations to ensure we aren’t eating food poisoned with lead, of whistleblowers who bring to light practices some corporations would prefer you not know about. Nope, fuck that. Just burn the whole house to the ground, instead of working to fix those pipes or exterminate those bedbugs.

If there is one thing about capitalism that I do like, it’s that you can vote with your dollar. Don’t like the way a business runs itself? Don’t buy their products. Granted, we have a serious problem with monopolies, as many corporations are owned by even larger corporations that have their fingers in every pie. I want to see trustbusting come back. I want the rich to be taxed proportionately to their income, and leniency for taxes on the working and middle classes. Capitalism is competitive, and it’s difficult to be truly competitive when nearly all our stuff is made by about half-a-dozen giant corporations. They become bloated. Capitalism needs to be restrained, or else it will be like a goldfish that will just keep eating and eating until it dies.

Unfortunately, the government has been an enabler for capitalism’s decades-long bender. The 70′s weren’t great, but you could get paid enough to pay your rent. You could afford a college tuition. You had jobs that weren’t outsourced to China and India to cut costs, and those jobs had benefits. This is what the Baby Boomers had in their young adulthood. It’s why their perspective on the current job market seems laughably outdated. They had it good. And then they all fucked it up in the 80′s. Well, the richest ones did. You know, the ones that are probably your parents or grandparents if you’re reading this on your Mac right now.

And you’re not the only ones frustrated by this stagnation, communists. Trump got elected into office by many working-class voters under the promise that he’d “Make America Great Again.” But the things that made America great were ones that used to be the focus of the Democratic party: a livable wage, job benefits, having a safety net should you find yourself no longer able to work, being able to retire. You won’t find that shit under communism, because communism always becomes corrupted. The people who were the ones that helped usher in the revolution, who spoke of rights for the working man, usually end up fleeing the country, or assassinated. Fuck you, you don’t get a vote. But rest assured, Comrade, your leaders will truly represent you, the people... even if you never voted for them. It’s like they put one dude in charge who you can’t vote out, who makes all the rules, and you have to deal with it, tough shit... hmm, it’s almost like that one thing you hate so much, what’s it called?

Oh, right. Fascism. Shit.

I know a lot of you guys are young, think I’m some kind of limp noodle liberal who just doesn’t get it. Well, I admit, there’s a lot of shit I don’t know. But I do know this:

If an economic system has shown that it has failed, repeatedly, over a century, and you advocate for it?

You might want to reconsider your stance, because you look a lot like the fascists you claim you hate so much. Their governments kept failing, too.

So let’s fix the house that we’re living in before we start soaking the walls in kerosene, shall we?