#theron: oh great now there's 5 dogs

[eorzeashan]

He is surrounded by BEASTS!!! Tried to find descriptions online for them:

Bergola - baby

Rompy - Always full of boundless energy, the rest secretly suspect that he's the favorite.

Brick - Strong as any of the rest, but kind of a lazy lump.

Lil' Jwizzix - A long way from home, but the legacy lives on after an improbable journey.

[newagesispage]

                                                                            MARCH    2020

PAGE RIB

 The Stones are touring the U.S. again.

*****

Paul Reubens is touring with Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

*****

Al Franken is touring.

*****

Keenan Thompson and Hasan Minhaj are bringing comedy back to the White House Correspondents dinner on April 5.

*****

Days alert: There is some casting news but most of this won’t show up until the fall. Word is a couple of newbies will be Remington Hoffman who will play Li Shin, son of Mr. Shin and Emily O’Brien may join the cast. Nadia Bjorlin (Chloe) may be on her way back. Let’s bring the original Phillip back for her!!! Brandon Barash (Stefan) will return as well as Louise Sorel ( Vivian )and Alison Sweeney ( Sami). Judi Evans is headed back. Will she play Adrienne or Bonnie?? It looks like Casey Moss (JJ), Freddie Smith (Sonny), Chandler Massey (Will) and Galen Gering (Rafe) mill head out for awhile.

*****

It looks like Friends freaks will finally get their reunion on HBO. I am glad they aren’t bringing the characters back and are just getting together to talk about their time together.

*****

Downhill hit theatres on Valentine’s Day with Will Ferrell, Julia Louis- Dreyfus and Zoe Chao. The film was written and directed by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash.

*****

The more I see of it, the more I LOVE Stumptown, the best show that nobody seems to know about. Please renew ABC!!!!!

*****

So.. Rush Limbaugh got the Medal of Freedom.  Oh my.

*****

Shadow Inc. owned by former Clinton and Obama staffers made an app that thoroughly fucked up the Iowa caucus. It was good at calculating the results but not delivering them.  And hey.. Wolf Blitzer, stay off the phone with people that are trying to get those results. Let them just do their job!!

*****

Brooklyn 99 is back and Vanessa Bayer is there!!!

*****

Rod Blagojevich is out and hitting every show that will have him. Trump pardoned him along with 10 other criminals including Ed DeBartolo Jr., Mike Milken and Bernard Kerik.

*****

Forty thousand kids won’t get free lunch because Trump threw them off food stamps. The two usually go hand in hand. Getting food stamps automatically sets a kid up for the free lunch program.

*****

Over 1000 former DOJ officials have asked Bill Barr to resign.** 70 former Senators have written an open letter to congress to tell them they are not fulfilling their congressional duties.**” Yoo Hoo! Bush, Clinton, Carter, Obama, you’re up.” –Patricia Arquette

*****

Pete Davidson and Kaia Gerber have split.

*****

Indiana Beach is closing after 94 years.

*****

Denny Hamlin won the 2020 Daytona 500.

*****

Can’t we get some real gigs for Rainn Wilson and Curtis Armstrong? Ok, so Cyrtis Armstrong was on Stumptown so thank goodness for that! They can do better than Dominoes and Little Caesars ads. And how funny is it that Dominoes, known for its very Chrustian owners use a Risky Business ( a film about prostitutes) ad for their product. Hmm.

*****Hey.. Comics, quit bringing up Trump and his former womanizing. It didn’t work with Clinton and it won’t work here. People just don’t seem to care. Focus on the real damage he is doing.

*****

Scary Clown is working on opening nearly a million acres of land in Utah for energy exploration that had been a National monument. Redford and Romney can’t be happy about that.

*****

A new animated series from a brand new production company owned by Natasha Lyonne and Maya Rudolph looks promising. Look for The Hospital.

*****

Southern Illinois University is giving Bob Odenkirk an honorary degree.

*****

Ukranian immigrants Lt. Col. Vindman and his twin brother are out. Ambassador to the EU Sonland is out.

*****

The Democrats had a debate on Feb. 7 . At Andrew Yang’s first chance to speak, he rehashed his stump speech. I mean, c’mon give us something new. There really seemed to be a restrained nervousness on the stage that night. Klobachar seemed too needy but she got great reviews. Biden called Buttigieg ‘a friend ‘ a couple of times. Mayor Pete did quite well. ** Deval Patrick is out** Andrew Yang is out.**Michael Bennet is out** Another debate was on Feb. 19.** Bloomberg/Yang? Is this true?

*****

Check out the new series, Hunters. It is awesome, funny and terrifying!

*****

Dozens of Native American women and girls have disappeared from Big Horn county, Montana over the last few years. The victims were later found dead and Trump has put a federal task force together.

*****

Grassley and Wyden are trying to get lower prescription drug prices but Moscow Mitch won’t bring the proposal to the floor. Others are looking to get some traction on HR3.

*****

JSW Steel has sued the Trump administration for refusing to exempt it from paying the levies on slabs of steel that the company imports.

*****

64 women have filed sexual harassment or discrimination lawsuits against Mike Bloomberg. I’m not a fan of the guy but it does seem sort of coincidental.  It does not seem to matter cuz all his ads seem to be working, he is picking up steam. Tom Steyer is gaining a bit of momentum as well.

*****

The corona virus has brought us Covid 19. 600 people are being held in quarantine camps that the military has set up.  Italy has new cases and the disease is spreading. Scary Clown is trying to spin it all.

*****

ICE is being sent into sanctuary cities to cause trouble for immigrants.

*****

You have to check out Horse girl with Alison Brie, Molly Shannon and Matthew Gray Gubler on Netflix .

*****

Rapper Larry Sanders AKA LV is letting us in on a miscarriage of justice he has had to live thru. LV, best known for his work on Coolio’s Gangsters Paradise, was approached by police and later put on the Calgang database. The practice put about 80,000 mostly African Americans on a sort of gang list. In a 2016 audit it was found that there were many inaccuracies including the names of babes who could not possibly be gang affiliated.

*****

Nature does not need people. People need nature. –Harrison Ford

*****

The Clark bar is back. The roll out has started in Pittsburgh and will soon spread across the country.

*****

Scientists have found some turtle fossils that are the size of a car in South America.

*****

U can donate to the Trump campaign and may win a yaqut and hunting trip with Don Jr. The Beach Boys will perform.

*****

The Oscars were held Feb. 9. Brad Pitt and the production design team won for Once upon a Time in Hollywood. Woo Hoo! Word is that Pitt has hired a speech writer to write his acceptances. JoJo Rabbit won for adapted screenplay. Little Women won for Little Women and Toy Story 4 for animated film. Laura Dern won best supporting actress. Renee Zellweger and Joaquin Phoenix too home the top actor prizes. Parasite surprised everybody and won best pic and got Bong Joon Ho a best director statue. My best dressed were Billy Porter, Antonio Banderes and his date, Janelle Monae ( her opening seemed to make some in the audience uncomfortable), Robert DeNiro, Laura Dern, Diane Ladd, Geena Davis, Regina King, Charlize Theron, Adam Driver, Joanne Tucker, Cynthia Erivo, Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman and Kathy Bates, I don’t know what Kristen Wiig and Idina Menzel were thinking. Wiig always has a unique style so I have to admire that. ** The ratings were down. I have heard people saying they just don’t watch award shows or late night shows anymore because they are afraid things will get political. Funny, that is part of the reason I watch!

*****

Tom Papa was pontificating about a real dog show that should have REAL dogs. It would make a great weekly show with people bringing on their dogs.

*****

The goalies of the Hurricanes were out of commission and David Ayres, the Zamboni driver was brought in to help and the won against the Maple Leafs. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Hooray for New Hampshire and their use of paper ballots. Things in the campaign got a little shook up with Bernie taking the top followed by Pete and Amy.

*****

2 years of research in Canada has brought the announcement of a new discovery. Skull fragments  that were cleaned and collected about 10 years ago have been named Thanatotheristes or the reaper of death. The discovery helps us all learn more about the early times of Tyrannosaurids, a sub group that includes T.Rex.

*****

New Jersey has a ban on self- serve pumps and another state is talking about getting in on the action.  The gas station attendant act has been proposed in Illinois.

*****

Van Jones was right when he said we shouldn’t give Trump any press coverage for a week. He would hate it. Trump loves the old adage of bad publicity is better than none because he just must have attention. It would never work for they just can’t resist.** Joe Mcguire is out after he warned of Russian interference. If you want to keep your job in this administration, do not tell the truth. Now at the Department of National Intelligence is Johnny Mcentee , a 29 year old former football player who worked on the campaign. He immediately called department heads and said he wanted lists of never Trumpers in their offices. ** And who is in charge of weeding out the people in the government who may be disloyal to Scary Clown? Well, it is none other than Virginia Thomas, wife of Supreme Court justice Clarence. She calls it the list of snakes. Trump is now saying he even wants liberal judges on the Supreme Court to recuse themselves when it comes to “Trump related cases”. It just keeps getting worse.

*****

Trump had fun in India. He should, his business has 5 projects going there right now worth 1.5 billion.

*****

Harvey Weinstein was found guilty of rape and criminal sexual assault. He was not found guilty of all the charges that included predatory behavior.

*****

Andrew Yang is a new correspondent at CNN. He tells us that he is getting word from former donors that Bloomberg is calling those big donors. Allegedly he is telling them they do not have to donate to his campaign because he can afford his own campaign but he still won’t forget them. He would like them to save their money and not give money to other democrats running either.** And I am so sick of talking heads trying to tell us to play it safe. We are not as stupid as we look, thank you!! ** Now there is a firestorm about Bernie telling the world that the education program that Castro implemented was a good thing. I understand the anger and it could not have come at a worse time and he did it to himself. BUT..  We are adults and we have to be able to talk about things as they really are, not in sound bites. Castro sucked and history teaches us that bad people do good things occasionally and good people do bad things once in a while. ** It seems that everyone was in agreement that we would all gather behind the winner of the democratic campaign to beat Trump. Suddenly when it could be Bernie, everybody is bitching.

*****

This month held 2 more Democratic debates. The Nevada debate got pretty heated. I see that Mayor Pete and Bloomberg are lefties (left handed that is). Pete always looked poised and articulate which I appreciate and he got in a good one when he mentioned that the party should choose someone who is actually a democrat.  Bernie seemed a little rattled by that. Later Pete really dressed down Amy Klobuchar and made himself look like a dick. Joe Biden jumped in with his credits occasionally but often seemed a bit lost. He slammed back that they were all talking about the health care plane he helped to create and that he himself had dealt with the Mexican President. His name came up after it was mentioned that Amy could not remember the President’s name. The gloves were off with Bloomberg as Elizabeth Warren called him out on Billionaires and NDA’s. I loved the interaction but realistically Mr. Mike can’t just release people from agreements they made in an NDA, especially if it did not involve him. Bloomberg sounded pompous and clueless about the world outside of his company. He got a moan when he said he couldn’t exactly use turbo tax and when he said he may have told a few jokes that women didn’t like. He brushed off his taxes much like Trump does. The former mayor of NY called out socialists as communists. Klobuchar had the best comeback of the night when she was told her health care plan could fit on a post it. She proclaimed that the post it was invented in her state of Minnesota. Again, there were people shouting from the audience as Joe tried to talk. C’mon give everybody an equal chance.

*****

The South Carolina debate was fiery as well. The CBS debate was hosted by Gayle King and Norah O’Donnell. Bloomberg was booed right off the bat about Russia helping Bernie but he late had many cheers. He and Biden and Steyer had some real support there. Tom Steyer was actually quite impressive and seemed well spoken.  He was the only one who brought up the impeachment. He had a great point that we all know that republicans who did not convict Trump are complicit in the Russian meddling. Then he ruined it all by being alarmist with his fear. He warned us off the former republican and the socialists. I loved Bernie’s ideas about small business’s getting in on the marijuana business and not letting big corporations taking it over. He is also the only one in debates that I have seen consistently bring up Native Americans.  Biden again kept jumping in to tell us that he did this or that. Amy disagreed about a bill he claimed to have written. Warren said “dig in” numerous times. She went for the jugular with Bloomberg when she said a former female employee of his said to “kill it” in response to her pregnancy. He denied it but it sure is memorable. She did make great points that he has given much money to Linsey Graham’s campaign as well as other republican runs including against her. BTW he also gave 2.3 mil to Rick Snyder, the Gov of Michigan after the water crisis was well known.  I love that Amy is always saying that we shouldn’t fight amongst ourselves but she just does not have the votes so she needs to go. Bernie got some boos about guns for he seems the softest in that area.

*****

Joe Biden won the South Carolina primary in a big way.

*****

Dick Van Dyke, Sarah Silverman and Public Enemy among others will be at the Bernie Sanders rally in L.A. on March 1.

*****

Just think what the 400 million that Bloomberg spent on his campaign could have done for the debt of the average American.  Instead of a campaign for a presidency that he can’t win, he could have helped so many get a leg up.

*****

I don’t understand why “respected” journalists like Chuck Todd don’t throw W H reps off the set when they disrespect him or his colleagues with fake news jabs.

*****

Bob Moore of Bob’s Red Mill is giving his company away to his employees. Now, that’s a boss!!

*****

Bone, Thugs and Harmony have made a deal with Buffalo Wild Wings to rename themselves Boneless thugs and Harmony. The publicity stunt is to promote boneless wings.

*****

NASA is hiring.

*****

Scotland has made feminine sanitary products free!!

*****

Is this true? There were pigeons in Nevada with MAGA hats glued to their heads??

*****

The final Criminal Minds has aired. CBS often aired double episodes which made it seem like they really wanted to get rid of it. Kirsten Vangsness and Erica Messer wrote the final episode which seemed to give special attention to Penelope and Reid as they were the originals. The other characters seemed a little overlooked but they all had happy endings. Where was Reid’s new girlfriend?  I was hoping to see Shemar Moore but it was great to see Reisgraf and Howell which are old favorites.

*****

Animal Kingdom returns to TNT on May 28.

*****

So there is a bit of a mess with the Roger Stone sentencing. Trump is hopping mad about the long sentence recommendation, Barr is said to be pretending to spar with the Prez, the DOJ is backing down and people are resigning.

*****

R.I.P. Shirley Jean Cade, Robert Conrad,  Katherine Johnson, Lyle Mays, B. Smith, A.E. Hotchner, Bashir Jackson, Ja’net Dubois, Pat Agee, victims of the Molson Coors shooting and Orson Bean.

[joiedecombat]

OC Interview: Maia

I was tagged by @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond!

The rules are simple: pick an OC, and then answer these interview questions in-character for them. Then tag five more people to keep it going! 

I... can’t think of five people to tag, but if anyone wants the creative exercise or just to show off their OC, you can claim I tagged you!

(Set as of completion of Jedi Under Siege / Hearts And Minds.)

1. What is your name?

Maia Shan. Most of the galaxy still knows me as Maia Sunder, though. At this point it's simpler to stick with the name people know.

2. Do you know why are you named that?

I don't. If there's any particular meaning to my name, I've never heard it.

3. Are you single or taken?

I'm married. [smiling] So, very much taken.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I've always been strong in the Force. It enables me to do many things people would say are impossible.

Aside from that, I've been trained extensively in combat and leadership. As a Jedi, I was often expected to lead troops in battle. [pensive] The more things change...

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

I have no idea what that is...?

If you have a grievance, we can talk about it.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. How about your hair color?

Brown.

8. Have any family members?

...I don't actually know. I came to the Jedi Temple as a young child, so I don't remember much about where I came from before then. A Jedi is... better off without those kinds of attachments, or so they tell us.

I may have family out there, somewhere. Perhaps one day I'll try to find out. Even if there's anything to find, though, we'd be strangers to one another after all this time.

My family is my crew, the Alliance. The people who've stood by me through the worst the galaxy can throw at us.

9. Oh? How about pets?

[brightens] I have two akk puppies - Tala and Tor'ika. They were a wedding gift.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now, tell me something you don’t like?

[watch that face fall, man] Something I don't like--

Dark Lords I have personally killed coming back to life and causing more problems for everyone. That's a big one.

Also, unnecessarily powerful superweapons designed to do more damage than anyone could possibly justify, and all the pain and loss caused by people fighting over control of them.

......Too much?

You did ask.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

Hobbies, hmm... It's hard to cultivate many pastimes when you stay as busy as I do. I used to enjoy gardening, back at the Temple when I was still in training. Cultivating something and seeing it grow bit by bit, adding a little more life to the universe... there's satisfaction in that.

Now that I'm actually based planetside for the forseeable future, I could try my hand at it again. I'm still in space for long periods of time, though, so I really wouldn't be able to give it the time it needs.

Does meditation qualify as a pastime?

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

[softly] Too many, I'm afraid.

I'd... rather not go into specifics. All I can say is that I regret the hurts I've caused, and I hope they can be healed in time.

13. Ever... killed anyone before?

Yes.

I'm not proud of it, but there are times when there's no other option.

14. What kind of animal are you?

I've never thought about it before. An akk dog, maybe? 

--ha, or probably a tauntaun, now that I think about it. Hardy, stubborn, frequently relied on as a beast of labor in impossibly extreme circumstances... [amused] that sounds about right.

15. Name your worst habits?

People don't usually see themselves clearly enough to know their own worst habits. I doubt I'm an exception, but I'll give it a try.

I have a hard time refusing when someone says they need my help. I'm not good at deception, and people have told me that I trust too easily. I'm not sure those really count as bad habits, but they have caused trouble in the past.

[pause; she tilts her head, listening for a moment]

--ahem. I've been instructed to tell you that my worst habit is "rushing ahead into trouble on my own and making everybody else panic." That's probably right.

[pointedly] Even if the source is the last person I want to hear that from.

I also have a terrible sense of direction. You'd think I'd be able to find my way using the Force, but it doesn't work that way. If I don't have someone navigating for me, I get lost far too easily. [soft, embarrassed laugh] Not exactly a "bad habit," but it's definitely a weakness.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Yes, of course. There are a lot of people I admire.

If I had to name one - I'll always look up to Master Orgus Din, the Jedi who mentored me. He's gone now, but I still strive to live up to everything he taught me.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Mmm, straight, I suppose?

18. Do you go to school?

There's always more to learn. I try to keep an open mind when it comes to picking up new things. But as far as formal education, no, I haven't attended lessons in a long time.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

I'm already married, so there's that.

It's hard to imagine having children with things as they are... but then again, if you'd asked me a few years ago I'd have said I never expected to marry. Life's full of surprises.

As long as we're on the front lines of this war, though, it doesn't seem wise. I wouldn't want to bring children into all of this.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Apparently. It's odd to think about, but whether I like it or not I've become a very public figure.

I can only hope I make a good example.

21. What are you most afraid of?

Even though serving as a leader in battle was one of my duties as a Jedi, being the Commander of the whole Alliance is more than I ever saw myself taking on. There are so many lives riding on the decisions I make, these days. It’s a lot of pressure. I don’t think there are many decisions I make any more that don’t come with the fear of making the wrong call, and of what could happen if my judgment’s off.

And still, even more than that...

...Jedi are taught to avoid emotional attachments, that the fear of losing those we care about will unbalance our judgment and lead us to the Dark Side. I’ve never entirely agreed with the Order on that... but I can’t say that they’re entirely wrong, either.

I have people that I love, that I never want to lose. I’ve been faced with the possibility, and it terrified me.

I know I can’t let that fear control me. If it came down to it, though...

[quiet]

22. What do you usually wear?

[tugs awkwardly at jacket, looking embarrassed] 

Practical clothes, mostly. Things that I’m comfortable in, that won’t restrict my movement and will hold up to a lot of punishment.

Jedi robes are good for that, but it feels off to wear them these days. I’m not sure I’m qualified any more. I still wear them around my room sometimes, though.

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

When you’ve been living on ration packs for a while, anything else starts to look appealing. Fresh fruits are my favorite - Alderaanian starblossom is delicious, but it’s hard to get out here in Wild Space.

24. Am I annoying to you?

Not at all. Asking questions is a way to learn.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Then by all means, let’s continue.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

That’s hard to answer... or at least, I don’t think I’ve ever thought of myself in those terms? And as I said, when it comes to my origins I don’t really remember what kind of family I came from.

A Jedi isn’t supposed to care about that kind of thing. It doesn’t always quite work out that way, but - well.

27. How many friends do you have?

Many. I’ve been very fortunate in my friends - I’d never have gotten this far without them. If I started listing names, we’d be here all day and I’d still probably leave someone out by accident and feel terrible about it. 

...there is one I should mention, though. Kira Carsen. She was with me almost from the beginning, longer than anyone but Teeseven. We went through a lot together, and she always had my back.

I wish I had a way to know how she’s doing now. Just to know that she’s all right.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Pie is always a good idea. 

29. Favorite drink?

I prefer tea. I was introduced to a Gatalentan blend recently that I’ve been enjoying quite a bit.

30. What’s your favorite place?

Just one? It’s hard to say. One of the great things about traveling the galaxy the way I have is all the different places I’ve been able to see. Even on the harshest worlds, like Tatooine or Hoth, there are places of beauty.

I’ve formed more of a connection to Odessen than I expected. I suppose in a way, it’s become “home” for me, more than many of the places I’ve lived. There’s a spot I came across not too long ago, a little spring-fed pond tucked away in the woods across the canyon...

...well, anyway.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Still married!

32. That was a stupid question...

There are no stupid questions. [laughs] All right, maybe a little.

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Either, really. I don’t know that I can claim a preference, especially since it’s not very often I get the chance to go swimming just for fun. That spring I mentioned, in the Odessen woods - that was nice. Very cold, but refreshing. 

On the other hand, there’s something to be said for the power of the ocean. It reminds me of the Force, a little: it’s so vast, you can’t fight against it. If you try it’ll just swallow you up. But if you learn to understand and work with it, to gain a feel for its flow, it can take you places you’d never have reached on your own.

34. What’s your type?

My type...?

[pause, listening to earpiece] “Idiot disaster sp--” Theron, I can’t say that!

...Let’s just move on.

35. Any fetishes?

That’s a little too personal, isn’t it? [blushing] Anyway I don’t have any.

Next question!

36. Camping or outdoors?

Aren’t those the same thing? 

If you’re camping indoors, I think you might be doing it wrong.

[rosetlntsmyworld]

rules:: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

Thanks to my good judy @veronicasanders for tagging me! <3

— what was your last…

1. drink:: water

2. phone call:: my boss bc i’m bad at mopping floors and she wanted to yell at me for it

3. text message:: ‘where tf are you xoxo’ to my mother (she forgot to pick me up from my train)

4. song you listened to:: “Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna

5. time you cried:: like literally yesterday bc I was listening to cute music w my gf and im a bit hormonal and got all mushy about how much i love her

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice:: nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it:: yes

8. been cheated on:: no

9. lost someone special:: yes

10. been depressed:: no

11. gotten drunk and thrown up:: first bit yes, second bit no. i was just drunk from 11pm to 4pm the next day and had to walk around a supermarket with my mum hung over to buggery and pretending everything was fine (supermarkets are the W O R S T places you could realise youre hung over bc screaming children and also very bright light)

— fave colours

12. black

13. grey

14. burgundy

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends:: yes

16. fallen out of love:: no

17. laughed until you cried:: yes

18. found out someone was talking about you:: yes

19. met someone who changed you::  yes

20. found out who your friends are:: ya

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list:: yes

— general

22. how many your facebook friends do you know irl:: legit all

23. do you have any pets:: yes, one dog

24. do you want to change your name:: yeah, i wanna get rid of my boy middle name (it was gonna be mary and my parents realised my initials would spell ‘emu’ and didn’t want me to get bullied. So they made my middle name duncan. D U N C A N. How is that an improvement??)

25. what did you do for your last birthday:: went to school during the day which sucked ass and then had the opening night of my first exhibit at a gallery which sucked a lot less ass. And then went and had dinner. And a hedgehog cake. Because im a mature grown up adult.

26. what time did you wake up today:: I went and delivered newspapers at like eight oclock and then went back to bed at like 10. Woke up again at midday, had a slice of toast and watched still game, and then had another nap. I am a garbage person.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night:: sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for:: finding out whether I got accepted to university (stole this answer from v but it’s true)

29. what is your favourite animal:: thats a horrendous question omfg i love tapirs a lot and also pigeons and seals and sharks

30. what are you listening to right now:: i’m watching gordon ramsay’s hotel hell

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom:: yeah i went to primary school with a guy called tom and he was a fucking asshole

32. something that’s getting on your nerves:: the fact that fullyi can’t . breathe through my left nostril rn

33. most visited website:: google

34. hair colour:: dirty blonde

35. long or short hair:: short-ish. Mine is like bob length w a dramatic undercut. Basically i stole dela’s boy hair

36. do you have a crush on someone:: ya

37. what do you like about yourself:: i have a nice bum

38. want any piercings:: ya

39. blood type:: oh fuck knows

40. nicknames:: edna, edina, gay puddle, mitzi, shortshank redemption, eddie, edie mcredie

41. relationship status:: dating a v cool gal

42. sign:: scorpio

43. pronouns:: she/her

44. fave tv show:: rpdr, brooklyn 99, orange is the new black, derry girls, still game, chewin the fat, the great british bake off, bobs burgers, tracey ullman show

45. tattoos:: nada as of yet but i want a good few

46. right or left handed:: right

47. ever had surgery:: nope

48. piercings:: ears x2

49. sport:: i play rugby and i wish i could dance or skate or some shit but alas i am a graceless bulldyke

50. vacation:: im going to australia for like six weeks in june aaaaaaaaa

51. trainers:: never wear em lmao im too goth for that shit

— more general

52. eating:: i went out for dinner earlier and had pizza and sweet potato fries and now im halfway to a food coma yay

53. drinking:: water or cherry coke. I also discovered lemon and mint sanpellegrino the other day and frankly id happily drown in that stuff its amazing

54. i’m about watch:: new ep of drag race

55. waiting for:: news from school

56. want:: to move out bc my room is a shittip and im done with it

57. get married:: i dont believe in marriage so probs no

58. career:: i work in a baby shop but i wanna be a tattoo artist or set designer/stage manager

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses:: hugs

60. lips or eyes:: lips

61. taller or shorter:: everyone is taller than me

62. older or younger:: older. Im a bit autistic so im kinda drawn more to people older than me bc i find them easier to talk to

63. nice arms or stomach:: stomach

64. hookups or relationships:: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant:: troublemaker

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger:: no

67. drank hard liquor:: yes

68. turned someone down:: yes

69. sex on first date:: no

70. broken someone’s heart:: i dont fuckin know

71. had your heart broken:: not really

72. been arrested:: no, lol

73. cried when someone died:: yes

74. fallen for a friend:: nah im fuckin heartless lmao

— do you believe in

75. yourself:: yes

76. miracles:: no

77. love at first sight:: no

78. santa claus:: i’m not fucking five (lol, keeping Wednesday’s answer here) (lol im also keeping V’s answer which she stole from v)

79. angels:: not really

— misc

80. eye colour:: grey

81. best friend’s name:: charlie aka charles aka charlize theron aka streak of piss aka pizzle aka piz (they have a v long series of affectionate nicknames lmao)

82. favourite movie:: priscilla queen of the desert, rocky horror, evita, muriels wedding, silence of the lambs, zootopia, misery

83. favourite actor:: Terence stamp

84. favourite cartoon:: bobs burgers, family guy, star wars: clone wars

85. favourite teacher’s name:: she’s known usually as ms gallagher but ive been on first name terms w her since i was like 14 so i call her sheila lmao

legit everyone I know has already been tagged lmao

[mandalorian-mayhem]

(1/7) A vaguely familiar Twi’lek slides into the chair across the table, their face obscured by a large pair of black-rimmed glasses and a bushy mustache. They pull a datapad out and place it on the table, tapping a stylus lightly against its surface. After spending a few moments scanning through it they look up, a wicked grin barely visible beneath their clever disguise. “Well,” they begin in a low, obviously masked voice, “this should be fun.”

Putting this under the cut for some content that might make people uncomfortable but here we go…

(2/7) Numelia enters the room. “Our first interviewee!” the Twi’lek calls, clapping excitedly and gesturing for Numelia to sit down. “So Numelia, Grand Champion of the Great Hunt…what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?”

Numelia pauses for a moment, considering her answer carefully. “Okay… I said I would answer honestly. And it really depends on the definition of weird. Sometimes there aren’t really any better options than… Let’s say… A shooting range… Or the one cave that’s on our property. Then, there was that one time when we were on a hunt… I should probably stop there. But there have been a few unconventional places. But the weirdest was probably when I had just finished some maintenance on the Mantis and it just happened right there in the engine room.” She takes another moment to think it over. “Yeah… That was probably the weirdest.”

(3/7) The Twi’lek looks across the table at the recently vacated chair. “Uliccol? Come on Watcher Four, you didn’t think your sister would get all the fun,” they call, steepling their fingers and smiling at Uliccol as he sits. “Now, your question, your question,” the Twi’lek muses as they flick their fingers over the datapad. “Ah…what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?”

Uliccol, who had been laughing at his twin, suddenly stops and looks at his feet. Glancing up at the one he would now deem the interrogator, he finally answers. “The.. Uh... Cockpit of the ship. I swear I wasn’t aware that the navigation on that bloody thing was that sensitive… But apparently it is. It could have been worse if it had been in the meeting room, at least. I wouldn’t want to hit the intercom on accident.”

(4/7) “Lord Cyress,” the Twi’lek says as Lotharel enters and takes a seat. “I haven’t met many Sith lords, so this should be exciting,” they continue, bouncing in their seat in anticipation. “Now this is important so be honest. Fuck, marry, kill: Darth Marr, Darth Ravage, and…Darth Occlus.” The Twi’lek poorly hides a snort of laughter after finishing the question.

Lotharel taps his chin, mulling over his options before leaning back in his chair. “It’s a good question. Given the options… I would probably fuck Occulus.” He looks to Uliccol, who had scoffed pretty loudly at that before continuing. “I would marry Ravage, I suppose. I don’t know much about him, but I’m sure we would have bonded over our dislike of Thanaton. And I would kill Marr because it’s the last option. I wouldn’t marry him because I’m not sure how much he knows of Malus’s plans or much else about him. But then I would take his place.” He taps his chin as he considers something else. “Honestly, I prefer to be a part of the fight and I don’t really feel like giving it up for a seat in the bickering circle of glorified chairs.”

(5/7) “And now for the other Cyress twin,” the Twi’lek says, their voice pitching slightly higher than before when Loreqo enters. “I have two questions for you.” The Twi’lek bites their lip and hums appreciatively. “How do you get your hair so shiny and can I touch it?” the Twi’lek blurts out. A confused look flashes across their face and they put a hand to one ear. “I don’t care, this is a better question!” The Twi’lek gives an irritated hmph then beams up at Loreqo. “Well?”

Loreqo blinks a few times at the twi’lek, reaching into his satchel and placing a few bottles of hair product on the table. “I use that…” He then unties his ponytail. “Yes, you can touch it.”

(6/7) “The final interviewee,” the Twi’lek says, gesturing for Rhori to take a seat. “Now Rhori, you take care of all of your siblings, always checking in on them, organizing get-togethers and whatnot. So we…sorry I…have to know, who is your favorite sibling? And don’t go hedgin’ your bets and saying ‘oh I could never pick I love them all’. You gotta pick just one.”

Rhori goes to answer and then stops herself and fidgets for a moment. “I’m ashamed to say it… But yeah. I do have a favorite of my siblings.” She glances in the direction of the others before continuing. “See, most of us… We aren’t that close. Numelia and Uliccol were thought to be dead for nearly a decade and we found them because Mel went on the great hunt and killed a lot of people. Lotharel’s a sith lord. Loreqo ran away and barely speaks. Lumaili is set in her ways and thinks she is above everyone. Yonnul…He and I are close, but he is almost always drinking and usually being sarcastic.. and I have caught him and Theron at almost every single party…” She lets out a small noise of frustration before muttering. “My favorite sibling is Akiwo.”

(7/7) The Twi’lek stands from their seat, looking out at their interviewees. “We’d like to thank you all for your cooperation, now if you’ll excuse me I have to go see a man about an akk dog.” The Twi’lek bolts from the room, leaving behind a pair of large black-rimmed glasses, a fake mustache, and a datapad filled with doodles of what appears to be Loreqo and an unreasonable number of hearts. 

[savetopnow]

2018-03-09 07 VIDEO now

VIDEO

Bad Lip Reading

"NFL 2018" — A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL

"TRUMP ANTHEM" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"[KARAOKE] Seagulls! (Stop It Now!)" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

"CHRISTMAS IS HERE!" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"HOSTILES ON THE HILL" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

Bill Wurtz

unboxing video

maybe i could eat blades of grass

La de da de da de da de day oh

soap tips

outside

Captain Disillusion

TUTORIAL: Rigging the Ambiguous Cylinder for Animation

Quick D: Invisible Box Challenge

Gateway to Sedona DEBUNK

The Unbearable Loneliness of Being Right on the Internet - Live at Skepticon Australia 2017

VFXcool: Back to the Future Trilogy (2/2)

CineFix

4 More of the Best Shots of All Time - Movie Lists

'The Shining' Meets 'Heathers' w/ Cory Finley, Director of 'Thoroughbreds'

Should 'Darkest Hour' Win Best Picture?

Will Phantom Thread Win Best Picture?

7 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Old School

Exurb1a

Feelings, Pictures, and Ideas: A very simple theory of why good stories are good

Bear and Goose at the End of Everything

Problems With Mind Uploading

How Not to Do Brownies

Thoughts From Your Deathbed

Kurzgesagt

String Theory Explained – What is The True Nature of Reality?

Homeopathy Explained – Gentle Healing or Reckless Fraud?

Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter

How to Make an Elephant Explode with Science – The Size of Life 2

Universal Basic Income Explained – Free Money for Everybody? UBI

Mealtime Videos

Investment Taxes and Account Types Explained [9:17]

We Tried Making It In “Nollywood,” Nigeria's Booming Film Business [14:13]

Flaming Hot Cheetos vs. Flaming Hot Cheetos Chiptle Ranch Review which is Better [5:08]

Sailing the Seven Seas (of Thieves) with a little LSD - Most fun I've ever had in a video game [10:23]

Original Superman Episode : Timeless and Iconic [10:15]

Nerdwriter1

The Most Disturbing Painting

The Florida Project Should've Been Nominated

Mr. Bean Is A Master Of Physical Comedy

See With Your Ears: Spielberg And Sound Design

How Fleetwood Mac Makes A Song

Reddit Videos

Charlize Theron Takes a Rorschach Test While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Ones

listening to the beatles with only one headphone

The 11Foot8 Bridge. One of the best videos on the internet.

This is my favourite sesame street video

Joe Rogan becomes a gorrila

TED Talks

The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven't met yet | Tanya Menon

Fashion that celebrates African strength and spirit | Walé Oyéjidé

Why I train grandmothers to treat depression | Dixon Chibanda

The virginity fraud | Nina Dølvik Brochmann and Ellen Støkken Dahl

Capitalism isn't an ideology -- it's an operating system | Bhu Srinivasan

The New York Times

Militias Are Burning Villages in Congo. We Tracked the Toll. | NYT - Visual Investigations

Shining a Light on Women’s Rights | The Truth Has a Voice | The New York Times

Why Nuclear Deals With North Korea Don’t Stick | NYT

Pelican Spiders, Ancient Assassins That Eat Their Own Kind | ScienceTake

Oscars in the #MeToo Age: What’s Next? | NYT

Unknown Videos

Fat YouTubers - PewDiePie Time [30 views]

The Impractical Juggler's First JUGGLE Challenge [242 views]

Teacher recounts his 35 foot water bottle toss into the trashcan! [7 views]

The most Inspirational Teacher in the World [5 views]

DIY Kawaii your Phone [74 views]

Vlog Brothers

The Broccoli Tree: A Parable

The Best (Recent) Book Covers Including MINE!

Ode to a Dog

Dear Young People, You Terrify Me

When Your Friend Runs for Governor

Vox

VOX showreel våren 2015

Gordon Ramsay: The F word - promo

Hannibal sesong 2 - teaser

The Following sesong 2 - premierepromo

The Following sesong 2 - teaser

Wendover Productions

The Logistics of Living in Antarctica

How Overnight Shipping Works

Why Cities Exist

How Airlines Price Flights

The Gene Patent Question

Wisecrack

The Philosophy of Jigsaw – Wisecrack Edition

The Hidden Meaning in The Truman Show – Earthling Cinema

Is Black Panther's Killmonger the Best Villain Since the Joker? – Wisecrack Quick Take

The Philosophy of Christopher Nolan (Part 3) feat. Interstellar & Dunkirk – Wisecrack Edition

How Monty Python Shaped Modern Comedy (feat. Rick and Morty & Deadpool) – Wisecrack Edition

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #114 - The Italian Job (2003)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I have never seen the original Michael Caine Italian Job. I’m glad for that in a way, because I find this film so enjoyable I really have no desire to compare it to its predecessor.

2) Director F. Gary Gray had mainly done music videos before this (and the film Friday among others). He would later go on to direct the critically praised Straight Outta Compton and the next Fast & the Furious movie. When he was selected as the director for the latter of those two, everyone was like, “Oh it’s going to be so dark now because of Compton!” and I was just thinking, “Have you SEEN The Italian Job?”

3) I like Charlize Theron in this film. I like it when "serious” actresses like Theron (I quote “serious” because the best comedic actress puts as much into her role as the best dramatic actress) do fun movies like this. They’re a little more down to earth in them.

4) This film is when I learned that “F.I.N.E.” stood for “Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic & Emotional” (or at least that’s the PG version).

5) Donald Sutherland is wonderful in this movie. In his limited screen time he gives a memorable performance is John, the mentor of the group and Stella’s (Charlize Theron’s) father. He’s likable, charismatic, you understand his inner conflict, his relationship with Charlie, and when he dies within the first 20 minutes of the film his impact is felt throughout the rest of the story.

6) This film shines, where other action movies struggle, is in its emphasis on unique characters. For example: Mos Def as Left Ear.

The dude is a demolitions expert part of a word class gang of thieves but he’s also nicely sensitive. He appreciates art, architecture, and this isn’t just some throw away thing established in the beginning of the film. It is carried through, in little but meaningful ways which richen his character and which is supported by a fine performance by Mos Def.

7) I love this line.

John: “I trust everyone, I just don’t trust the devil inside them.”

8) It’s nice to see John respect Charlie’s (Mark Wahlberg’s) authority on the job. John is technically retired, this is Charlie’s job and the first time those relationships have been reversed. But even when Charlie makes a call John wouldn’t John smiles at Charlie and goes with it instead of some bullshit, “you’re not doing this right,” conflict.

9) The entire opening heist of the film is done well and sets a nice standard for the film we’re about to watch. It is stylish, entertaining, and full of nice intelligent surprises (particularly when we think Lyle and Handsome Rob have the goods on their boat when it’s really sitting at the bottom of the waterway for the rest of the crew to break into).

10) We get some nice development from our crew when they talk about what they’re going to do with the money from the job.

Handsome Rob (Jason Statham) wants a nice Aston Martin.

Lyle (Seth Green) wants speakers, “so loud they tear the clothes right off of girls.” (That’s creepy Oz.)

Left Ear wants a house in the south of Spain with a library filled with first editions and a room just for his shoes.

Steve (Edward Norton) has no imagination and so just wants one of what the other three have said.

11) Edward Norton as Steve.

Edward Norton very clear in interviews that he did this film out of contractual obligation for Paramount (which he had a three picture deal with), but that doesn’t mean he phones it in. It may not be one of Norton’s best parts, but it’s a fun villain nonetheless. Steve is a wonderfully weasely, greedy, cowardly slime ball with no imagination and a bit of inferiority complex. Norton plays the part wonderfully, being able to hold his own with the rest of the cast and giving us a wonderful creep in the process.

12) This film does not pass the Bechdel test. But I am comfortable with films not passing the Bechdel test as long as they ACE the Sexy Lamp Test and this film ace’s the Sexy Lamp Test. Theron’s Stella is a well developed, interesting, compelling character who is able to hold her own in the gang despite never stealing anything before in her life. She is 100% necessary part of the film, not just there for eye candy by any means. And like with the rest of these characters, we get a lot of nice little lines and moments which develop her.

Police Officer [after Stella has cracked a safe for the cops]: “Don’t you want to look inside?”

Stella: “I never look inside.”

She is smart, capable, but in pain and that pain is what drives her narrative in the film. Her father was freaking murdered while pulling a gold heist! That sucks! And Theron is just wonderful in the part.

13) It’s nice getting all the little backstories for Handsome Rob, Left Ear, and Lyle.

Lyle went to college with Sean Parker, the supposed creator of Napster. Although according to Lyle, Parker stole Napster from him while he was napping. Parker even cameos as himself in the flashback scene depicting this.

Handsome Rob set the record for the longest car chase ever.

Left Ear blew up a school bathroom when he was a kid, using too much explosives which basically made him deaf in his right ear.

Charlie started stealing when he was very young, and we see him stealing the wallet off of a bully in elementary school.

14) Although I can’t find an image of him for the life of me, Oscar from “The Office” is a security guard in this movie. Fun fact!

15) Remember how I said there are little lines throughout this film which develop the characters nicely?

Left Ear [upon seeing that Steve’s place has guard dogs]: “I don’t do dogs man, I had a bad experience.”

Charlie: “What happened?”

Left Ear: “I had a bad experience! Damn it...I’m deaf!”

16) Hey, Baymax is in this movie!

No seriously, that’s Scott Adsit (the voice actor behind Baymax). I’m not trying to make a mean joke or anything. I swear.

17) Michael Caine starred in the original Italian Job film. As tribute to this, when Steve turns on his big TV Michael Caine’s film Alfie is playing.

18) Stella is determined, like scary so. She is totally willing to pose as a cable repairwoman to get into Steve’s house and figure out where everything is. This is the guy who murdered her dad and she is ready to be in the same room as him, to play nice with him, so she can beat him later.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

19) This film also succeeds in its representation of character because most of the main characters have at least one scene where they get to interact one on one. This gives us an idea of what their relationship is like. For example when Lyle and Handsome Rob are scouting a cable truck they need to steal and a shirt they need to get for Stella (which is being worn by a cable repairwoman at the time). So what does Handsome Rob do? He gets out of the car to, “get a truck and the shirt.” Seth Green improvised this doozy:

Lyle: Are you kidding me? How does he do that? How do you do that? What are you saying?

[Lyle narrates the conversation with alternating Handsome Rob and ditzy female voices]

Lyle: [speaking as Handsome Rob] Hey, how are you?

Lyle: [speaking as Becky] Oh, I'm good!

Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Nice to meet you. I'm Handsome Rob. And you are?

Lyle: [as Becky] Oh, my name's Becky, but it's written on my shirt!

Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Listen, I'm gonna need your shirt, and your truck.

Lyle: [as Becky] Perfect! I'll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?

Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] If it's on the menu.

Lyle: [as Becky] Oh, you're so witty! Why don't you take advantage of me?

Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Yeah, you're not too bright, are you?

Lyle: [as Becky] No.

Lyle: [as Handsome Rob] Perfect!

Lyle is a bit of a problematic fave (he wants a speaker so loud it’ll blow the clothes right off of a woman), but he’s played by Seth Green in a kinda charming way.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

20) More developing interaction.

Lyle [while fitting Stella with a hidden camera]: “Couldn’t get the corsage on my prom date either.”

Rob: “You had a prom date?”

Left Ear: “It was his cousin.”

Either they’re joking and are comfortable enough around Lyle to do that, or that tells you something about Lyle’s relationship with Left Ear & Handsome Rob in that one knows something the other doesn’t.

21) The crew acknowledges how brave Stella is for going into the home of the man who murdered her father. Thank you filmmakers! Oh, and also, Stella agrees to go on a date with Steven for one reason alone: it gives them an opportunity to steal his gold.

22) According to IMDb:

In interviews, Jason Statham said that in addition to the stunt driving course they all received, he got two days' driving tuition from Damon Hill, the British ex-world champion Formula 1 driver. However, all the cast members acknowledged that Charlize Theron was easily the best driver among them.

Charlize Theron got two speeding tickets, both for going more than 40mph over the speed limit, during the filming of this movie. She said that after filming driving so fast, she just couldn't get her speed down to drive home.

You can tell while watching the driving scenes how much fun Theron is having, usually letting out a giddy shout while doing so. I love that.

23) Hey, this guy was in Hidden Figures and X-Men: First Class!

Wow, when going through Olek Krupa’s (the actor’s) IMDb page he’s been in A LOT. Good for you Olek!

24) I love that Left Ear can be a dork sometimes, like how he acts in front of Skinny Pete.

25) Pixar has 22 rules of storytelling. Rule #19 is, “Coincidences that get characters into trouble are great. Coincidences that get them out of it is cheating.” So when the gang goes to rob Steve’s house only to find out that his neighbors are having a party, that follows this rule!

26) Chekov’s line about devils and such.

(GIF originally posted by @lexiamoriello)

THIS is what lets Steve know who Stella is. THIS is what leads to use realizing that the entire team is in the restaurant watching Stella’s back (and she knows it too, cuing them to come help her out). THIS is what leads to the confrontation between Steve and Charlie. And THIS is one of the best bits of the film.

27) I love this line.

Stella [after she learns Charlie hit Steve]: “And why do you get to punch him and I don’t?”

28)

Charlie [after the crew asks him how they’re going to steal the money]: “We’re gonna do it like the Italian job.”

29) Another scene which adds to the idea of Left Ear being the sensitive one, and it’s primarily done for comedy but it is still nice, is when he is about to insert a pin in a bomb. He makes it very clear that if the pin touches any of the brass that he and Charlie will be the last people either of them see.

Left Ear [after a little moment of silence]: “Charlie.”

Charlie: “What?”

Left Ear: “I love you man.”

Charlie [after a beat]: “I love you too.”

Aww. :)

30) Lyle has a lot of fun controlling traffic during the heist and I can’t help but wonder how much of that was Seth Green’s improv.

31) In keeping with Pixar’s nineteenth rule of storytelling, Stella and the gang are totally prepared to crack a certain type of highly advanced safe only for it to be an even MORE highly advanced safe. It would be easy for Stella to keep herself calm during the whole thing, or for it to go off without a hitch, but neither of these happens. Stella feels the pressure, mistakes are made, but she still succeeds and that makes for very interesting storytelling.

32) Remember the quote from note 12?

Charlie [after Stella cracks the safe]: “Don’t you want to see what’s inside?”

Stella [turning to face the safe]: “Absolutely.”

33) Oh Oz...

Lyle [after a learning they’re stealing $27 million in gold]: “YEAH! (People stare at him awkwardly) Got the...holy spirit. You should get on it. IT’s a good train.”

34) I just won’t to take a moment to appreciate this.

(GIF originally posted by @fuckyeahednorton)

35) So the film ends with us learning that they all got the stuff they wanted, and that Charlie and Stella ended up together. I almost wish they didn’t though. They could’ve played that off as a platonic friendship if they wanted. I live for platonic male & female friendships (just ask @streetsolo, she knows), but I don’t hate that they end up together.

The Italian Job is one of the most fun heist movies out there, so its a shame it isn’t as popular 14 years later as say the Ocean’s movie. It has a lot of great energy, great characters, great action, great acting, and is just a fun ride all around. I look forward to seeing what F. Gary Gray does for the next Fast & the Furious film but if it’s anywhere near as good as this I think it’ll be a great ride.

[chrismaverickdotcom]

Strong Female Character? Well, she has bullets at least (an Atomic Blonde Review)

So this feels a little weird to review what with all the craziness that’s been going on in politics the last 24 hours… but I had already been planning to see this movie, so here we go. Let’s talk about Atomic Blonde.

When I review any movie based on a comic book, one of the things I try to do is say, “how would I feel about this if I didn’t know the source material?” Well, this is a rare chance for me because I actually haven’t read The Coldest City, the graphic novel that Atomic Blonde is based on. So this is a rare chance for me to go in cold for once. I was actually looking forward to it. I was finally going to get to experience a comic book movie like the common people.

Wow, your lives must suck. That just wasn’t fun at all.

I think what it comes down to is “what are you looking for in a movie?” Do you like bullets? There are totally some bullets in this… so many bullets. If you want see some people getting shot… you’re going to be happy. Do you like the punching? We got the punching in this too… so much punching…

Hey, what about hot naked chicks? Well Charlize Theron is in this, and she’s hot and she is naked from time to time. Maybe less naked than you want her to be… but appear sans clothes a few times in this movie. Unfortunately, if that’s all you’re looking for, you might be upset by the amount of bruises and cuts she has… you know what with all the shooting and punching and shit. But just to make up for it, we’re going to toss you a gratuitous lesbian love scene between Charlize and also very hot Sofia Boutella. You like the lesbian sex don’t you? That’s what you’re looking for right?

Well, if so you’re going to enjoy this. If not, this movie probably isn’t for you.

One common complaint with big budget action films is that there aren’t enough strong female characters in them. I agree with this assessment. That was really part of the appeal for Wonder Woman. This is not that. She is strong…. in that she does very tough things… she is female in that… I dunno… lets say because she has boobs… which I know because they show her naked… and well… that’s pretty much it. What she’s lacking is character because… well, she really isn’t one.

Being a strong female character isn’t… or well *shouldn’t be* about just being able to kick ass. I mean, I’m all for people kicking ass in my movies. But I’m actually looking for more than that. I’m looking for complexity. I’m looking for character strengths and, for that matter, character weaknesses. I’m also looking for motivations. I’m looking for the character to have something to do. Other than just looking good.

This was a movie all about looking good. Just not necessarily about being sexy. It was about spectacle. She had to look sexy in the bedroom and she had to look tough when she was beating people up. And…. nothing else… nothing else mattered in this movie. Nothing at all.

And that’s actually fine, if that’s what you’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with spectacle. This was directed by David Leitch, previously famous for… well, he’s not really famous. He’s a career stuntman (which I wish stuntmen were more famous) who cut his directing teeth by being given a few scenes to direct in John Wick. This is his first feature flying solo. The thing with cutting your teeth on a movie like John Wick is that it is a movie all about spectacle. It has no character and it barely has a plot: “They killed his dog, now he will kill them.” That’s it. I actually like Keanu Reeves as an actor, but that’s not an acting movie. This movie probably could have been that as well.

Just no one bothered to tell Charlize Theron.

Because she definitely tries to act in this film. In fact, she does a whole lot of acting… SO MUCH ACTING. She plays the character of Lorraine, and she shows emotion and pathos and makes choices that really show you that she’s trying to get her character across. Sometimes she’ll be distraught. Sometimes she’ll be confused. Sometimes defeated. Sometimes a stone cold killer. There are points in this film where you can just see on her face that she’s expressing anguish. Complete and total anguish. It’s quite clear how she won an Oscar for acting. It’s just that the writing isn’t there and so the choices she makes don’t seem to mean much. Remember how I said she’s not a character? That’s because she’s not. You don’t know anything about the character or where she came from. You don’t know why she wants anything. There is absolutely no reason to care about anything she does.

Not only are the subtle emotional choices wildly inconsistent, so is the action. At points, Lorraine has the abilities of John McClain in the first Die Hard. She’s a completely realistic driven, but human action star. Later, she will be John McClain in the fifth Die Hard, an unstoppable tank who can be injured but just keeps coming. And then later still she’ll be John Wick, a perfect killing machine who no one can even lay a finger on. Even though the story only takes place over the course of a week, I could almost accept this if she was simply getting tougher and tougher as the movie went on, leveling up like video game character. But this is not the case. She floats between all three levels of skill depending on the kind of action set piece that Leitch wants to present at that moment. Sometimes she can dodge bullets and moments later is being sucker punched by an entry level thug from Henchmen R Us.

It’s not that there’s no plot… actually there’s a lot of plot. WAY TOO MUCH PLOT. At it’s core, this is a simple McGuffin movie. There’s this thing. Everyone wants it and is willing to kill to get it. But then there’s a plot twist… and another plot twist…I think it’s supposed to be intrigue and suspenseful. But it isn’t really. It’s just a muddy mess of twists for twists sake. In fact there are about as many plot twists as there are action sequences. And the movie basically just goes back forth between twist and action for two straight hours. Every once in a while there’s a pause to remind us how sexy Charlize is.

Other characters have much the same problem. Their motivations are non-existant. Without spoilers, Sofia Boutella’s character makes no sense at all. She is contradictory to herself. James McAvoy‘s character makes more sense, but has no reason to be what he is. Toby Jones and John Goodman‘s characters are simply spy movie stereotypes. Understanding them relies on me having seen other spy movies before and going “oh, ok I get it. They’re those guys.” and then pretending the movie explained it to me. It didn’t.

Because like John Wick, really nothing in this movie matters. It’s just spectacle… it’s just stuff that looks cool. And it does look cool. The cinematography and lighting in particular are very well done. The soundtrack is annoying in way where it wants to be Baby Driver.… but oh it so just isn’t. But costuming is great. Charlize has amazing outfits that really set the 1980s tone the movie is going for. The action scenes and fight choreography are simply amazing.

But unlike John Wick, which knows exactly what it is and embraces it, Atomic Blonde thinks that it is a movie that has something going on. It thinks that by making itself complicated it has become complex. It isn’t. It’s actually just a whole lot of nothing.And the fact that it pretends to be something… that it in fact COULD have been something if more attention were paid to building its story and characters, is both distracting and disheartening. By the time the final twist comes (and there are at least half a dozen in the final ten minutes of the movie) I simply didn’t care anymore. Half of them I’d predicted. Not because of anything clever and intricately hinted at. But because you can literally say “what’s the most ridiculous way we could work a spy trope in here that would make the least amount of sense? Well, that must be what they’re doing next!”

So yes, summer blockbuster popcorn action movies do need more strong female characters. But the way to do this is to actually work on the character aspect rather than just taking the “strong” part so literally. This is not just a problem with female characters. Action movies don’t understand that the ability to kickass is not an interesting character trait. Frankly Lorraine is actually slightly more interesting in this film when she’s getting beat up. And still only negligibly.

And that’s really the problem. I probably could have accepted this film if it was nothing but a fun action romp. The problem is that it thinks it is so much more, and it really could have been… if they had just remembered to actually “write” it. Bullets do not substitute for character building.

★★☆☆☆ (2 out of 5 stars) or ⁍⁍⁍⦿⦿ (3 out of 5 bullets and maybe a couple boobs if that’s all you’re looking for…)

Related articles

Atomic Blonde review: Charlize Theron’s ice-cold super-spy makes Bond look arthritic

‘Atomic Blonde’ Featurette: Charlize Theron Fights Like a Girl

‘Atomic Blonde’ proves Charlize Theron can pretty much do it all

Charlize Theron says she ‘loved’ going bisexual for Atomic Blonde film

Review: ‘Atomic Blonde’ loses its punch in second half

Stephanie Siler, Tracy Di Marco White liked this post

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1&appId=1449198322001470"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "facebook-jssdk"));

Strong Female Character? Well, she has bullets at least (an Atomic Blonde Review) was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom

[mrsmythe101-blog]

SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME! (The Fire Wheel. 2017. Volume 2)

Ok ok ok yes I agree. It has been a while. Life happened in a sucky way but goddamn I came too far to quit now. I never stopped watching movies and good thing I kept notes. Let's do February. Volume 3 March drops on Easter. Jesus wouldn't have it any other way. Boom.

 1.Why Him (2017)- Franco being Franco. Bryan "Don't call me walter white" Cranston is the un approving father that Franco's character is marrying. It is what exactly you think it is. Always good to see Megan Mullally getting work. This is a great sunday afternoon flick. Not this sunday. IIt's easter. Jesus would smite you. C-

2. Tully (2017)(Screening)- Yeah this has not came out yet. Very entertaining flick. Charlize Theron stars with a really good cast. Once again this was a screening and I signed my life away so can't talk about it in depth like I want but this is a great satisfying dramedy. Check it when it releases. A-

3.Face In The Crowd (1957)- Oh man this movie. I never knew Andy Griffith had it in him. He was a true asshole. A guy who kind of gets discovered while in jail cause he has a great gift of gab and gets on the radio bullshitting people essentially. He eventually almost gets to political power. I wonder who that sounds like?? A-

4.Get Out (2017)- Holy shit, I loved this. Jordan Peele did a magnificent job with this political commentary. I will say it's not a straight ahead horror movie, way too much comedy thrown in. But it's a nice delicate balance. I will never date white girls the same again. Wait, what? A-

5.John Wick (2014)- I kept hearing people talk about this, so I jumped on the cock, I mean bandwagon and checked it out. It looks great and the action is damn awesome. Keanu Reeves has a second life. But he was great in Point Break and The Gift so I'm not surprised. As long as he doesn't try to pull a british accent he is good. This is a new frills turn your brain off cinema. The plot? The wife died of illness? Gangsters kill his dog? He takes on a Russian mob? He kills a bunch of people? I think that is what happened. B-

6.Smokey And The Bandit (1977)- Yes I know, never saw this in it's entirety. Gleason chewing scenery. Burt being technically a law breaking asshole. Field was a angel. Fun flick about smuggling booze. Hey it's all about that hustle son. (Cue Burt Reynolds laugh) B+

7. A Thousand Words (2012)- Eddie Murphy is back doing what he should not be doing. Making crappy family comedy. I get you want to evolve but this and Norbit and Pluto Nash aint working. He plays a...does it matter? He essentially can only say, get it, a thousand words. So he does a lot of mime work, which is not bad cause Mr. Murphy is a great comic but man no thanks. Come back home Eddie. D+

8. It Comes At Night (2017) (Screening)- This a total mind fuck movie. Once again a screening. Go see the trailer. The movie I will say, it is not what you think. I'll leave it at that. Sorry to be vague but go into this blind, I left the theatre like wow. A-

9. Lego Batman (2017)- I have no issues with kids flicks even though I'm sure I'm barren at this point. Terrible joke, sorry. But this was fun fun fun. All the characters they bring in was so cool, no spoilers. Ok one spoiler, GREMLINS! Will Arnett kills it. In a cartoon. Well his voice killed it. Nevermind, I am a idiot. B+

10. Event Horizon (1997)- Well another one I hear people talk about. Didn't like it. Weird. Maybe somewhat satanic. Nah. Yall can have this one. D-

 That is it for the month. Sorry for the vagueness but I'm kind of a vague dude. Much love see you in a few days. hola.

[savetopnow]

2018-03-09 04 VIDEO now

VIDEO

Bad Lip Reading

"NFL 2018" — A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL

"TRUMP ANTHEM" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"[KARAOKE] Seagulls! (Stop It Now!)" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

"CHRISTMAS IS HERE!" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"HOSTILES ON THE HILL" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

Bill Wurtz

unboxing video

maybe i could eat blades of grass

La de da de da de da de day oh

soap tips

outside

Captain Disillusion

TUTORIAL: Rigging the Ambiguous Cylinder for Animation

Quick D: Invisible Box Challenge

Gateway to Sedona DEBUNK

The Unbearable Loneliness of Being Right on the Internet - Live at Skepticon Australia 2017

VFXcool: Back to the Future Trilogy (2/2)

CineFix

4 More of the Best Shots of All Time - Movie Lists

'The Shining' Meets 'Heathers' w/ Cory Finley, Director of 'Thoroughbreds'

Should 'Darkest Hour' Win Best Picture?

Will Phantom Thread Win Best Picture?

7 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Old School

Exurb1a

Feelings, Pictures, and Ideas: A very simple theory of why good stories are good

Bear and Goose at the End of Everything

Problems With Mind Uploading

How Not to Do Brownies

Thoughts From Your Deathbed

Kurzgesagt

String Theory Explained – What is The True Nature of Reality?

Homeopathy Explained – Gentle Healing or Reckless Fraud?

Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter

How to Make an Elephant Explode with Science – The Size of Life 2

Universal Basic Income Explained – Free Money for Everybody? UBI

Mealtime Videos

Trailer park millionaires [9:27]

Summer 2018 Box Office Preview & Predictions [13:20]

WW2 Looney Tunes Style, American Propaganda, Don't Click if Your Trigger Sensitive [7:40]

Is Your Red The Same as My Red? [09:34]

ABANDONED city in America with NO LAWS | Yes Theory[10:18]

Nerdwriter1

The Most Disturbing Painting

The Florida Project Should've Been Nominated

Mr. Bean Is A Master Of Physical Comedy

See With Your Ears: Spielberg And Sound Design

How Fleetwood Mac Makes A Song

Reddit Videos

Charlize Theron Takes a Rorschach Test While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Ones

This is my favourite sesame street video

Former US Ranger demonstrates the Ranger Roll

I'm on smoko so leave me alone!

Jon Stewart's rant on Chicago style deep dish pizza

TED Talks

Fashion that celebrates African strength and spirit | Walé Oyéjidé

Why I train grandmothers to treat depression | Dixon Chibanda

The virginity fraud | Nina Dølvik Brochmann and Ellen Støkken Dahl

Capitalism isn't an ideology -- it's an operating system | Bhu Srinivasan

The surprising ingredient that makes businesses work better | Marco Alverà

The New York Times

Militias Are Burning Villages in Congo. We Tracked the Toll. | NYT - Visual Investigations

Shining a Light on Women’s Rights | The Truth Has a Voice | The New York Times

Why Nuclear Deals With North Korea Don’t Stick | NYT

Pelican Spiders, Ancient Assassins That Eat Their Own Kind | ScienceTake

Oscars in the #MeToo Age: What’s Next? | NYT

Unknown Videos

Airsoft Action Camera (214 views)

Social media checks on firearms applicants [14 views]

CRAZY "LOOP VID" 8BIT AND ENERGETIC SONG by this unknown new band[1587]

Batman + Joker | Dragon Ball Z Fusion [5 views]

Drew Rick from Rick and Morty, set behind relaxing jazzy music. [153 view]

Vlog Brothers

The Broccoli Tree: A Parable

The Best (Recent) Book Covers Including MINE!

Ode to a Dog

Dear Young People, You Terrify Me

When Your Friend Runs for Governor

Vox

VOX showreel våren 2015

Gordon Ramsay: The F word - promo

Hannibal sesong 2 - teaser

The Following sesong 2 - premierepromo

The Following sesong 2 - teaser

Wendover Productions

The Logistics of Living in Antarctica

How Overnight Shipping Works

Why Cities Exist

How Airlines Price Flights

The Gene Patent Question

Wisecrack

The Philosophy of Jigsaw – Wisecrack Edition

The Hidden Meaning in The Truman Show – Earthling Cinema

Is Black Panther's Killmonger the Best Villain Since the Joker? – Wisecrack Quick Take

The Philosophy of Christopher Nolan (Part 3) feat. Interstellar & Dunkirk – Wisecrack Edition

How Monty Python Shaped Modern Comedy (feat. Rick and Morty & Deadpool) – Wisecrack Edition