#theres an acceptable level of how much you can feel before it gets 'weird'

[ganondoodle]

something i didnt say over here but probably should-

i, in truth, dont know if im actually as annoying or "childish" or aggressive as i feel like im being

i feel like, i got a uniquely bad case of autism obsession and over-emotionality, constantly guilty for feeling so much, like me failing to keep my own emotions under control is purely a failure on my part, like i shouldnt feel this much, i am not allowed to feel like this, no one else seems to fail it like i do, over and over again i get overwhelmed by my own feelings and even if it isnt a full breakdown-

(meltdown? which i think is soemthing else and honestly ..... i do not want to have ever again, its the ultimate loss of control where i dont even feel like im piloting my own body, like im possessed by something, which is not really something that happens online, that is a thing that happens to me rarely in real life)

- i still feel so overwhelmingly stupid, like you jsut watched yourself turn into a toddler screaming bloody murder bc mom didnt buy the thing you wanted, and then are suddendly back to yourself but to everyone else you didnt change at all so everyone looks at you like you just lost your mind over nothing and thats just how you are normally

that together with being online and people likely seeing only a fraction of who you are, plus my tendency to ... be like this mostly when im not liking something just .... makes me feel so damn guilty, maybe something like public shame too? or the old problem of feeling like a burden?

i dont know, i cant seem to imagine people can see me like that and not be annoyed or weirded out by it, especially when they only realyl see that side of me, and i feel so damn guilty for it, the class weirdo who randomly starts to cry over seemingly nothing like i have always been, and i shouldnt be, i should have grown and gotten better and be in control at all times by now i just ... "havent tried hard enough"

[torchstelechos]

Do yall think about the ending of ISAT in any other characters POV? Cause I think about it so much, that must be buck fucking wild. Like, you get to Dormont after MONTHS of traveling with these people, you're feeling strong, you feel like you have a chance, so yall go separate directions to get everything done before the big day tomorrow and your buddy Siffrin goes to take a nap. You're like, ah! Classic Siffrin, so silly and nonchalant about everything, they never once thought we would lose. What a swell fella :). Then not even a full half a day later, more like a few hours later, he appears out of no where with a fucked up face and starts hitting you exactly where it hurts emotionally. No reason! You didn't do a fucking thing! They just fucking went for it! And now you're pissed cause that was a close friend of yours that you considered family, you're sad, you're mad, you dont understand what happened. You meet up with everyone at the clocktower early because apparently he did that to everyone! So good! Good! It's not just a you thing! You all talk it out and you all agree that maybe you should leave them behind tomorrow if they keep acting like this. Except. Except. They never came to the clocktower, they never came to talk to you about what happened and thats. Not acceptable. You need to understand what happened because after sleeping on it, why did he do that? They wouldn't ever do that to all of you, so something must have happened!

And then a Star appears.

And you learn exactly what has been happening behind the scenes but it doesnt make sense. But you know that your buddy just went to solo the house and you know they arent strong enough to do so, you know exactly what their level and strength and weaknesses are and the King is rock type! He's going to kill Siffrin if you dont go save them! So you start running through the house to go save them while the Star guides you, but the doors are all unlocked. There are ghosts everywhere. The hallways dont make sense. Something is broken, failing, and you are running out of time. so you climb up and up and up until finally you get to the final floor and then to the King's room expecting Siffrin to be a splat on the floor but. He's still alive, theres a chance! So you go and protect them from the King but uh, huh. The King is nearly dead? Siffrin almost solo'ed the King? A scissors type versus a rock type nearly won? And it was only a nearly and not a he won because Siffrin was frozen in time? What???? So you freeze the King, you save Siffrin, but they're injured and sick and have a fever so you try to take them to the head housemaiden to get healed but uh. Shes speaking nonsense??? Utter bullshit. Skipping, repeating, saying things out of order, and then she says you all can go home and everything falls apart around you.

Cause Siffrin? Yeah, your buddy who was being a tad bit of an asshole? And they just solo'ed the bad guy without you? Yeah, he's the last boss you need to beat actually. And they're huge! So big! You get ready for them to fight you, except he. Attacks himself. In front of all of you while crying. He's sad. They're hurting themself. You can not do anything but you start to connect the dots and you figure everything out. Then everything becomes normal again and they say what they wished for and hey! You wanted that too! So you hug them as he cries himself out and all of you are tired. That was a lot. They're craft tired and sick but they're okay. So you're happy and relax. They want to go back to Dormont, so you all go. Then THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE WALTZES OFF ONLY TO COME BACK INJURED TO HELL AND BACK???? He said he was going to go say thanks to that Star person, who you still aren't sure is a person but whatever, and then he comes back exhausted and clearly just used craft after being told not to?

And YOU STILL DONT KNOW HOW SIFFRIN BEAT THAT FUCKER AFTER SOLOING THE HOUSE, OR THE DEAL WITH THAT WEIRD SHADE IN THE SKY IN THE SHAPE OF SOME FUCKING WEIRD LEGUME. WHAT. HOW???? WHY??????????

Anyway I think about this a lot, it must have been a long and confusing two days from their POV

[radarchives]

I dont think youve gotten an ask like this before since this is an om! blog and all and this is possibly gonna sound weird or dumb of me to ask a german native this, but how hard is your grammar really?

Reason (1-1) for my question: languages are my guilty pleasure. I'm only fluent in arabic and english rn but I wanna learn as much as I can, even if just basic facts, not a language itself

Reason (1-2): people learning german insist that the grammar is "brutal" especially for english-speakers but frankly it kinda feels that theres exaggeration or a "trend" along the lines of "german grammar is impossible because everyone says so" even if it's not THAT gory, yk?

Any new language IS gonna be hard at first- thats a given. And some languages like arabic / chinese / japanese / korean are listed at the top for difficulty. Ik that german grammar has many many rules and has exceptions... Linguistic sites say thats a reason for its complexity and the majority of learners agree with "yeah it's too difficult"

But tbh?? Idk

At this point it feels like a stereotype that was based off facts at first but then got negatively exaggerated?? I think yes german grammar is more "detailed" than the english norm / other grammar rules but it isnt monstrous like whats being often said and spread about it?

Thats why I wanna hear an authentic objective thought on this from a german if you dont mind🎤

hey there!

i really don't think German is one of the most difficult languages to learn. if you're an english native speaker the things you might struggle the most with are:

- pronunciation (harsher sounds, less soft than english, äöü sounds. when you have someone who can correct you this isn't as difficult to learn)

- grammar (lots of rules and lots of exceptions as well. words are gendered with der, die, das /feminine, masculine, neutral. also learning how to decline words can be tricky as well, but i think that just comes down to memorisation and practice)

- the sheer volume of vocabulary. a lot of words are HIGHLY specific (which is the fun part to be honest. there's lots of german words that are difficult to translate to english bc of this. an example would be the German word "doch" which is something similar to "yes it is" or "is not, is too")

i can imagine the difficulty level might be similar to learning french (at least from what i can compare). honestly i can only judge this so far, at work i do have lots of people around me who are just starting to learn the language, these are a few things that i saw them struggle with as well.

i think it mostly comes down to dedication and interest. you do have to put in a lot of effort, but you obviously have to do that for every language.

i think German gets a bad rep for sounding harsh and brutal, but i think it sounds quite beautiful. here's a little comp of German words i appreciate.

Nickerchen - nap

Maus - literally means mouse, but more recently has become youth slang. you can call someone "eine süße Maus" / literally a cute mouse / when they did something nice for example. Maus is originally gendered female = die Maus, but is used in a gn way like this. Meine Follower sind zum Beispiel richtig süße Mäuse 🥰

also used as an adjective (mausig)

Fremdschämen - being embarrassed for someone else. Wenn ich sehe, dass Lucifer redet als hätte er drei Wörterbücher verschluckt, schäme ich mich fremd.

unschön - unattractive, unpleasant. this one isn't special but it's my morally acceptable way of saying "well that fucking sucked" at work. Das ist jetzt aber unschön verlaufen.

so yeah! if you want to learn it don't let the naysayers stop you!

[imustbenuts]

had to take a hard break from my yakuza kiwami 2 playthrough

yeah its the kiss scene. blasted me right out of the ride. sayama just lost her father less than 12 hours ago, admits shes emotionally shaky, and the writer decides kiryu should go in for a kiss right there?

in normal situations thats just sexual harassment. and i still dont feel the chemistry bc yk2 kiryu is behaving awfully weird around women in this entry. the things he does and say sometimes crosses into sexual harassment more than once. its so weird.

dude's behaving like he's got depression from losing yumi and nishiki the year before, dealing with significant social awkwardness and just does that. after repeatedly pulling away from girls who are into him in the cabaret social outings. o<-< whats going on.

my current question being, is he unintentionally treating sayama as a rebound bc she resembles yumi physically?

i see the hint of reused tropes with yumi. the same trope of how they're both beautiful. yumi with her gekka bijin and sayama with multiple characters commenting on her beauty multiple times. the age too, matches up with roughly yumi's before kiryu got sent to jail in y1, being mid 20s.

i also cant really accept the age part. kiryu is 39. sayama is 25. sayama is also an overachiever and these types tend to be more naive and inexperienced when it comes to dating and relationships. its a little... hm.... nnmmmmmnmng. hm.

anyway, if he is using sayama as a rebound thats leaning into evil on the ethical heterosexuality scale. not as bad as yumi getting killed -- bc how dare she moved on instead of waiting for kiryu? bad faith interpretation here yes, but a plausible interpretation nevertheless.

this is definitely some kind of weird bad writing and i cant get behind it at all.

i also dont know why they didnt add sayama into minigames and write more banter fluff if she's mean to be the romance interest for kiryu. there's nothing. i can invite majima who happily hops by despite having to juggle 3 VERY big jobs, but i cant invite sayama? we have a little mechanic of increasing haruka's affection by doing her requests but all sayama gets is cutscenes...? really....? at least try...

none of these alone would be a deal breaker necessarily, bc they do actually mesh well on the surface level. there was a few scenes that made me cheer for them. but there's too much when its all added together that it cant save the bad payoff.

there is actually so much going on that im wondering if kiryu's actually into women at all, and in fact, not seeing them all as harukas. 🤔

also now looking back at that bucket list scene in y8: sayama. im sorry. the writers should have given you a life beyond yk2 and allowed you to move on.

the game isnt over yet im sure theres gonna be more Heterosexual Bullshit coming my way. i need a drink.

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

[ragaamuffin]

<Aesop (embalmer) agere hcs3

Most of these are a little sad but theres a few cute ones i swear:p

so shy posting about agere, might have to delete this after posting

•He doesn’t know the age he regresses to and doesn’t go out of his way to figure it out, he didn’t even realised he regressed for the longest time

•When he did figure out he was somewhat reluctant to accept it and doesn’t like to “indulge” in that side of him too much

•His regression is mostly involuntary but not always negative, has spent a-lot of evenings reading while regressed without even knowing

•Doesn’t let himself have toys or any fun items for when he’s regressed

•Although he does have a baby bottle, which he’ll use only when he’s feeling small but needs to do work, its his weird way of indulging, hardly notices himself pulling the mask down to take little sips (not very work place safe of you Mr. Carl)

•Doesn’t speak much when regressed, ‘children should be seen and not heard’ has been a little engrained into him, will stare a bit when asked a question, needs a minute to think, before giving his somewhat short answer, speaks when spoken to

•Doesn’t have a caregiver but if he did (maybe Patty or Vic:p) he’d love bath time, and sitting with them while they have tea, he’s a very polite young ‘lady’, he’d very much enjoy the act of sitting with the adults even if he doesn’t join in their conversations

•connects more with girlhood and with the lessons he was taught about being a ‘polite young lady’

•Doesn’t stim openly when big and he’s even more reserved when little, seems quite melancholy when he’s little, his masking gets a bit worse, can’t guess what the right way to react to something is, often leads to him not outwardly reacting at all

•Would miss the structure and routine that came with jerry, he’d want a dynamic like what he had with Jerry with any caregiver but I don’t think any caregiver would want to recreate something so toxic even if Aesop doesn’t realise how bad it was

•Would be a little bothered seeing how open other regressors in the manor are about that stuff, it feels like such a taboo for him, knows he wouldn’t be met with the same affection

•A little more clumsy when regressed which can rather upset him, knocks over items in his makeup case and wants to pull at his hair no this is all wrong

•Someone let him know its okay to have a paci under his mask!!! He’d love it!!!

•If he was brave enough he’d pet apostle all the time, likes cats when he’s big but its next level when he’s little

•Would still like to be on the more independent side but he’d enjoy being a ‘little helper’ for his cg, just doesn’t want to be a bother

•Might enjoy not having a cg but just having everyone treat him like a kid, but he’d never open up to people like that:(

[wizisbored]

I can imagine after the wall goes down that nimona and Ballistor would be interested in visiting places, and one of the places they visit is where they run into Lydia, and Nimona can see an unsummoned Beetlejuice and is probably excited to meet someone special or weird like her. Ballistor has some reservations about it, but he'd warm up to him, once he was summoned and he could see him and Lydia explained some things.

if theyre gonna be leaving the kingdom for au purposes, im tempted to say fuck it go all the way and have them fully leave leave. nimona, ballister and ambrosius. they tried to swing it for a while, stuck around for maybe as long as a few years after it all went down, but it just wasnt working out. it's absolutely impossible for any of them to live a normal life, nimona especially - most people hail her as a hero, which is stressful in its own right, but there's also a not-insignificant number who still want 'gloreths monster' dead, and they know who she is now.

so the three of them skip town, and end up in a small town in rural conneticut. they dont plan on hiding nimona's abilities forever, but decide to lay low for a period to scope out the towns general level of weirdness-acceptance first. so they move in under the guise of a young gay couple who have gaurdianship of a teenager for unspecified reasons, and own various pets that are never seen in the same place at the same time.

it's been a while since the events of beetlejuice the musical, and beej is kinda hovering around the deetzs. lydia hasnt resummoned him and he hasnt asked her to. yet. theyre back on friendly terms, though im not sure about him and the rest of the family.

the two groups meet when charles decides to invite the new neighbours over for dinner. nimona is calling herself seventeen so she's supposedly a year or two older than lydia, and lydia thinks shes cool as shit. even though lydia isnt young enough to really trigger nimonas discomfort with small children she isnt used to interacting with kids and it takes her a bit to warm up, but lydia isnt the best at socialising with people (supposedly) her age either so they kinda fumble through it together. turns out theyve got a fair bit in common and by the end of the evening theyre getting along pretty well. goth/punk solidarity.

nimona cant neccesarily see ghosts, but she can sense them. beetlejuice isnt around for the dinner but she is far more aware of the maitlands' presence than ballister or ambrosius. she has no idea what it is, and doesnt bring it up until they're back home afterwards.

so nimona and lydia keep hanging out. a few times beetlejuice tags along, and nimona can feel him lingering around, and it feels the way a dog trying to bite a fly out of the air looks, if that makes sense. nimona stays human-shaped around lydia but there is something distinctly off about her, to lydia. maybe on some level she can sense what nimona is, but ill have to figure that out after ive considered how the magic/supernatural lore of the two medias is going to mix. she also thinks theres something odd about the various 'pets' nimona's family owns. theyre all some variation of reddish-brown, chestnut, ginger, or tan with no exception. the dog looks at least half wolf. her own cat, percy, hates theirs. she sees ballister riding a horse bareback around the edge of town sometimes, and it always feels like the horse is avoiding eye contact. and she has never seen nimona interact with any of them, or even be in the same room.

nimona finds out about the ghosts before lydia finds out about her, but it happens in quick sucession. eventually lydia is confident enough that she could ask nimona if she believes in life after death and she'd answer honestly. so she asks, and nimona - as someone who died and then got better - says yes quite confidently. so lydia pretty much spills everything, and nimona's reaction to hearing about beetlejuice is 'oh thank FUCK i can stop pretending to be human in front of you'

[valla-chan]

copying this from my own tags cause actually i want to talk about this on the post after all.

Warning: Long text! feel free to skip!

I feel like having one parent of one kind and one of the other made me this fucking mess that i am now, in a way. It was never explicit or outright but it Never Needed To Be.

I would get harassed for my nails and hair and mannerisms and be made the butt of jokes that i didnt understand by one parent, and then the other would tell me im great the way i am. i guess also there was some kind of ongoing speculation between them as to what my sexuality was?? i do remember that.

It really created this strong, unrelenting feeling that i have a very narrow path to tread before people begin speculating on the different ways that i'm actually somehow fucked up or weird in an unlovable way, but as long as i tread lightly then i can toe the line.

of course, my life has improved since then because they split when i was a preteen (#aayyyy) but it did last long enough to do damage...

(otherwise how else do you explain trying to always "lose people's trail on you", when you feel like theyre onto stuff going on in your head? Trying to maintain the image people have of you, so they dont fall apart at how disgusting you actually are, or instead start drawing uncomfortable connections that will lead to them to that realization anyway? “Finding out”? Finding out what? Who the fuck knows by now! but theyre gonna find me out! and then theyre gonna hate me!)

Results?

For at least a decade and a half everyone has been “Going to Find It Out” about me and i have no fucking clue what that means anymore. because ive already come out and transitioned n shit, and ive been fine for it. that was like my biggest secret for a while. But that feeling of people i care about "finding out" is real enough to keep me from doing anything! (other than hrt cause i woulda literally have offed myself if i had to live even 5 more years as a guy... so thank fuck for the support yknow lol cause otherwise i would have figured out some DIY shit under the table by then. but other, more surface level pursuits still feel off the table, because they are not motivated by literal death if i dont do them in time.)

But its like... the damage is already done.

ive got a supportive family. even the worst of most of them have come around.

But those mental patterns are Mine now. Those thoughts are not theirs to take back anymore.

I have internalized those years of uncomfortable treatment into my own mind and how i work. thats on me now, and im trying to explore and help myself now and its hard.

So make sure to constantly tell your kids that you would love them even if they turned into a fuckin slug. And more importantly, that you accept them and promote them for everything they want to stand for even if you dont agree. Cause MAN, even for maybe not intending to do anything wrong、that shit influenced and ruined every interaction and decision in my life since! Theres no taking that back, even if done on accident through just being a goober parent influenced by current social norms! So imagine doing that level of harm on purpose!

You will create a kid that doesnt have to wonder on the extent of the bounds of how much they will be loved, they will KNOW those bounds. They will feel those bounds in every decision they make and every choice they consider. They will know FOR SURE that they will not be loved for themselves、and that will be on YOU.

and a word of advice, love their potential too... love their choices and their visions and the people they look up to. Cause people change. They are designed to.

you cant just love someone for who they are now and not those other things、or they will be stuck in trying to be that person for life.

And to anyone who reads this who knows me, hi! If this says anything about me as a person, then good! It should!

I think that my mid 20s are going to be some of the most intense self reflection ive had yet, and hopefully that actually goes somewhere unlike how it never does. so forgive, me voices and memories, for becoming someone who i like and who the people i hate don't.

[loaffofbred]

SPOILERS FOR WTIT :

Foreshadowing of Logan's Outburst or Snap and Indications of Future Problems

After rewatching some of the Sanders Sides past episodes, it seems very clear that Logan's outburst is fairly unsurprising. But, there may be some other foreshadowing thats taking place other than his outburst, and maybe his future dilemma's maybe indicated as well.

One example i saw is his question in the musical number of the puppet episode, where Patton explains his repression of emotion, and Logan seemingly asking if it worked in some way. And almost seemingly shocked by Patton's answer.

It almost seems like he was trying to find the answer to his own problem. He's repeated before that he has NO feelings or emotions, and that he has no care of sentiments. He's in denial of his emotions and Patton's situation seem to fascinate him because he seems to have the same problem. Almost like the more he ignores his emotions, the more he believes they disappear altogether, like what Patton said. The answer seemed to shocked him either because of Patton learning and applying the lesson he learned, or because he had a similar problem and shocked by an unexpected answer. This feels like a foreshadow to Logan's problem, and this is not the only example of that. All instances of Logan denying his emotions are just further evidence that thats his problem. His acceptance of his emotions. This is me not doing too much research here, so bear with me if theres a way to debunk it.

Of course this isnt a surprise to some, but this is a foreshadow to his outburst. The further you fill this jar of emotions, the closer it is to bursting into a field of emotions and outbursts. I think maybe the future episode might tackle that problem. Denial is a form of deception, you cant have deception WITHOUT denial in some capacity. You can tell that Janus in some way knows Logan's dilemma, he is deceit after all, he knows that Logan has a tendency to deny his own emotions. Even the other sides seem to know this as well. Logan always clarifies he has no emotions and this further feeds deceit.

Janus and Remus' push comes to shove

This can also explain why Janus and Remus push Logan to a different level than all the other sides. An example of this is the newest asides video(WTIT) and both SvS and SvS redux. Why are there methods of pushing Logan away different from the other sides? Well, lets first see how the other sides do this. First, the other sides never do this intentionally or in a malicious way. They explain Logan why his point of view doesnt particularly matter, and that their argument is more feasible. They dont FORCE Logan aside, they just dont put the effort to listen and comprehend his input. Example of this is the end card of WTIT, Patton choosing to ignore Logan's input on SvS Redux, and Thomas, Patton, and Roman almost ignoring and nonchalantly putting aside his wants in the Moving On episode. They dont force Logan away, they just dont give value to his input enough for him to feel worthy.

Remus and Janus' way is through FORCE. Theyre upfront and malicious with their tactics. Remus blatantly targeting Logan specifically on the introductory episode of him. Janus disguising himself, two times, as Logan to remove him from the equation. They both force Logan down, to try and bring themselves up. I dont particularly know why theyre pushing Logan to his limits. Either an entry for the Orange side?

But this is whats weird. Janus is responsible to who or which side can be seen. Hes responsible on who is hidden away from Thomas, and who isnt. Thats why in Remus' song mentions this;

Recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge

He said "you're wanting to be more honest

And be direct dealing with your issues

No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you"

(a certain thing i suddenly realize is that the 'tree of knowledge' is referenced in WTIT. The last end shot where it pans to Logan and the roots of the tree to Janus. Just a small thing i realized :) )

So why does the orange side need 'influence'? Yes, Thomas has a say on what he wants to see and what he doesnt, but what about Remus? In a way its far more fitting for him to just barge in rather than have permission to show up. But if we were to assume Orange as rage or a form of it, why does he NEED influence (assuming he does) to truly be seen? A question that im hoping will get answered in future episodes.

Janus' power and deniability

Janus has more power than we think. He can shut the sides up about a certain side in order for Thomas to be unaware. So maybe, in the end card, Janus is hinting for the Orange Side to finally being seen because of his help. His power stems from something but what?

Have you noticed something in common with all of the dark sides introductory episodes? They all speak about DENIAL. Denial of Thomas' capacity to deceit and the denial of imagination having an 'evil form' of it. His denial is what keeps the dark sides at bay, and what keeps him from knowing about the other sides. I think thats the main reason why Janus has the power to show Thomas the other sides, because denial is a form of deceit, and Janus has power over that.

And who else has a BIG problem with deniability? Logan. Logan denies that his emotions even exist in the first place. One example of denial being a big part is this line that really stuck with me,

No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you

Janus is speaking to Remus yes, but this also resonates with Logan and Thomas. 'Deceiving yourself' is lying to yourself, denying the existence of bad within you. Remus KNOWS that Logan is lying to himself, because it seems like Remus had the same experience with how Janus told this to him specifically. He knows Logan's problems and the whole "Now youre speakin' my language" makes even more sense. He saw Logans truth. His ugliness within him.

Another line also stuck with me is this;

Why deny yourself knowledge

Say knowledge of yourself?

You don't need to feel ashamed with your dear old Duke

You need not feign decency

This also seems so targeted to Logan. He feigns that he has no emotions therefore has no flawed and hurtful emotions that can target Thomas. He feigns decency. Also! 'Why deny yourself knowledge, say knowledge of yourself?' seems to resonate with Logan as well. Im not saying these lyrics are TARGETED SPECIFICALLY towards Logan, but resonate instead.

Logan's deniability of emotions

Think about it, denial is the reason why dark sides are hidden. And Logan denies his emotions. Connect the dots and its understandable why some people believe Logan to be either hiding something about the Orange side, or him being the Orange side in general.

Few mentions

Another targeted insult (while not surprising coming from Remus) also acknowledges Logan's problem,

He knows his problems, and this is where Logan denies this entirely

Which seems like a lie to me, but nonetheless

Remus pushes the take that he has an effect on Logan

Logan also denying this entirely

Even though, that is the exact OPPOSITE of what happened to him with Remus on the latest sanders asides.

TLDR; Logans denial of his emotions is a big problem that may be addressed in future episodes. Denial is a big part of the dark sides anonymity and Thomas' deniability is the very reason for hidden dark sides.

Both Remus and Janus push Logan for either an entry way for Orange, but still skeptical because of Janus having the power to make dark sides be seen based on his control of deniability, so why put the effort?

Logan's connection to denial maybe a more reason why he seems to be the only side that explicitly shows anger to the point of physical pain towards others or other outbursts. Deniability and the dark sides having a connection seems to further push the theory of Logan showing his true colors or self. Of course that theory has many flaws in of itself, i think Logan's denial has a big part as to why he showed orange eyes

Remus affects Logan in quite different ways compared to Virgil and Patton

anyways, this has been long enough, i hope this was understandable, and as always

THIS IS ALL THEORIES,

do not take them as truth or fact, but rather speculation

anyway, peacee

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Fav boys with an S/O that's usually a hardass but has a moment of just 'oh my god that's so fucking cute' that they start crying??

Bakugou:

• Listen, you weren't totally against showing emotion but you really only showed two

• Frustration and 'happiness'

• Aka you laughed a lot but had no problem blowing up on someone

• No one had ever seen you outside of those two moods

• Half the class just assumed you never got sad or anything

• The other half assumed you never really had a reason too but maybe one day you'd snap

• Crying? You? Off the table.

• You're not capable of it

• They'd seen you detach yourself from things without a second thought

• CRAZY how you and Bakugou actually WORKED together in a relationship

• To be honest Bakugou doesnt even know if he's seen you cry

• He figures he'll see it eventually

• And he's right :)

• Bc one day you two are walking ahead if the bakusquad

• And theres this fucking puppy

• And it's so small

• Its a lil weiner dog

• And an audible rasp is ripped out of your throat followed by a small 'oh my god'

• His head fuckin WHIPS around• And he's met with you tearing up as you stare at this small dog and his mouth d r o p a

• This??? This is what it takes for you to cry????

• You put a hand over your mouth, mumbling something else and Bakugou is having a stroke

• You're like full crying now

• There are t e a r s

• He moves a little closer, wrapping and arm around your shoulder

• "Are you seriously crying over a dog right now?"

No words. You just nod.

• He accepts it

• No questions asked

• Bakusquad is what you call

• V fuckin confused

• "I want a puppy," you mumbled, breathing uneven.

"I know,"

"Katsu he was so tiny,"

"I know,"

• Cue more crying

Izuku:

• Hard ass 100%

• emotionally constipated on the Bakugou level

• emotion what's that??

• Idk

• Neither do you apparently

• You were just chilling most of the time

• Just- looking really blank

• never really felt comfortable with showing a lot of emotion

• People could use that against you

• call you week-

• You didn't want that

• you were dating the new symbol of peace, you had to keep up

• This happens during a rescue

• You get people out and once you're standing on the sidelines, the fight over- this little boy runs up to you, hugging your legs

• Thank your's are falling out of his mouth and he looks teary eye'd

• He puts his hands up and makes grabby hands and you immediately pick him up

• You kiss his forehead, your hold on the child tightening

• I mean at this point you're crying too

• Bc he was so damn cute

• Even with all the dirt on his face

• And Izuku is just standing there

• baffled

• bc you

• the person who was literally STABBED four times and kept a straight face the whole time about a year ago

• is crying over a child saying thank you

• He takes care of the press- and whatever else he needs to before slowly making his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

• The boy was still in your arms

• "You okay princess?"

"Fine, thanks,"

• New image for the press!!

• You went from known for no emotion to Oh my god they have emotion????

• ur v upset about it

Hitoshi:

• He know you cant express emotions exactly how you want

• you'd told him it always felt weird and uncomfortable

• Especially letting other people see it

• Deadass took him 3 months after the initial four you guys were dating to pry that out of you

• He's never really minded though

• he just wants you to feel comfortable and be okay

• So he's always gone along with the casually mean laugh a lot vibe you've had

• But one day

• one faithful day

• you two are walking after an icecream date

• And you see these 2 little kittens in a beat up box

• you GASP and your hand immediately leaves his as you jog over

• And you coo at them, picking them up, one in each hand

• He's behind you when the water works start

• "Toshi...they're so cute-" you sniff

"Are you crying?"

"No- Yeah, just look at them. They're so tiny, they're gonna die out here alone,"

"Oh my god babe,"

"Toshi we have to take them back."

"I don't know if we can do that, we can take them to a shelter-"

• you're full on sobbing now, a blubbering and hiccuping mess

• he feels like he's gonna pass out

• what's he supposed to do

• you chose now to start crying??

• "No-No because they might end up on the street again and they need love, toshiiiii-" you whine out

• So he hugs you from behind, using one hand to pet the cat in your left hand. "Okay, we'll take them back. We can talk to Aizawa sensei."

• he presses a gentle kiss to your neck

• You def apologize later for crying in front if him, almost refusing to look him in the eye

• He flicks you and tells you to do it more often

Sero:

• hardass?? Yes and no

• You vibe

• you just chill and go with the punches

• but GOD do you refuse affection and basic human emotion.

• It took him 3 MONTHS to convince you to go out with him

• That he wasn't going to hurt you or judge you

• 3 MONTHS

• And what felt like fucking forever for you to accept his advances for affection

• He's so patient with you, you'll never find another man like this

• pls keep him forever

• Anyway now yall just vibe together

• But he's never seen you upset tbh

• And he's never seen you cry

• You push all that down, constantly just staying in a place of whatever

• He's a little concerned about it ngl

• but he doesn't know how to really help it

• Has deadass secretly been reading books about it

• Anyway

• One day y'all are chilling

• You're in his room

• he's at his desk- looking over an essay that was due the next day and you were in his hammock, already having finished it

• But he was bopping

• he had an earbud in one ear and he was mumbling along with the song, bopping his head and moving around in his chair, randomly bursting out a lyric here and there

• And then he heard a sniffle

• He immediately turns around and he see's you

• Your eyes are watery

• he pulls his earbud out and he's making his way over to you, clearly worried

• "Babe what's wrong?"

You shake your head, waving him off.

"No no, c'mon tell me-"

"You're just so damn cute and I love you so much. Precious."

• He's confused for a moment before it processes and he grins

"Is that why you're crying?"

"Yes!" You wipe your eyes again. "Thank you,"

He climbs into the hammock carefully, and wraps his arms around you.

• Not particularly what he had in mind when you finally decided to show emotion like that but he'd take it

Kirishima:

• puppy and cat

• aka

• Bubbly jock and hard ass motherfucker who can and will kill you

• He knows that you cant freely express what you feel all the time

• He understands more than most people think

• Because he knows it's easier to just be bitter than risk getting hurt again

• and you've opened up a lot!!

• and he's proud of you! Really.

• He tells you all the time and you gag and call him a sap but he knows that you secretly enjoy it

• Anyway you two are eating lunch outside

• Kirishima is babbling about something that happened after class the other day and you were eating quietly listening to your boyfriends ramblings

• And suddenly he feels a finger on his lips

• He opens his eyes confused, going to talk again before you sush him

• You're looking at a bird

• a REALLY small bird

• you take a small piece of bread from his sandwhich

• "Hi baby," you coo, "how you doin? Want some food?" You slowly hold the piece out

• The birds head tilts a little and he takes a hop

• then another

• and he watches you tense up

• and the bird takes the bread piece and flies away, he watches it go before looking back at you

• he about has a stroke

• you're fucking crying

• "Babe- wait- why are you crying?" He puts a hand on your shoulder

"What the fuck, that was so cute. Eij, he was so cute."

"Well yeah-"

"Jesus he was so tiny," you sniff, "did you see the way he tilted his head- oh my god and his little hop? No fuck off I'm gonna cry more,"

• And you do

• But honestly he doesn't even care bc you're finally letting something else in

• and it means you're comfortable around him

• so he only wraps his arms around your waist and pull you closer

• "he was very cute,"

[husbandograveyard]

Nicknames and Compliments: Bakusquad

These were quite popular when I did them for One Piece, and I might do some more. But at the moment nearly all of my requests are One Piece, so I am going to sprinkle in more of my personal writing for other fandoms here and there until there’s more requests for them. Don’t get me wrong, still love one piece, I just like MANY other things as well. And well, these are usually pretty cute UwU Enjoy!

Katsuki Bakugo 

Dumbass, among others is his most preferred nickname for you. 

Bakugo’s nicknames for you are generally not that nice, and not that fluffy nor sappy, but he means them lovingly. It’s like he calls Kirishima shitty hair, but he does that with love. 

When he uses your actual name he means serious business, and it’s usually bad news. 

When he’s in an exceptionally sappy, emotional or good mood, he’ll go for the more classic babe and such. 

He will 100% pretend to hate it when you call him any nicknames. 

Don’t be fooled, he absolutely loves it, and you just see his reaction when you just call him Katsuki, he will be absolutely disappointed. 

Maybe refrain from calling him Kacchan though, that’s Deku an Denki Privilege and he does not want to associate his partner with them. 

Compliments are pretty rare, and are sometimes even disguised as annoyed remark. Point them out to him and he will look away and blush. 

Don’t be surprised when you hear him curse even while complimenting you, he just has to say everything aggressively, even declarations of love and admiration. 

Just like with nicknames, he will pretend to not necessarily like certain compliments. Like when you’re saying he’s strong, he’ll either confirm or say that it’s not good enough yet. 

But again, theres a 90% chance he’ll look away to blush. 

Especially once you’re in a serious relationship and the more sincere and heartfelt your compliments get, the easier it is to get him flustered. 

And if you’re at that stage, you can expect some heartfelt compliments from his side as well. When it’s just the two of you and his emotional words are meant for your ears only. 

Eijiro Kirishima 

Nicknames? He loves nicknames! You can call him whatever you want

He likes hero specific nicknames, just ‘red’ or other ‘manly names’ 

But all the sweet nicknames you can call one another in a relationship? Those are manly too! Really the whole arrangement going from the sweetest, most sappy names to the more standard ones that everyone calls their s/o, he will just use whatever you are comfortable with and you can just do the same. 

He will 100% blush when you use them for the very first time, even if it’s just in the friendship kind of way before you even get together officially.

Loves it when you blush when he calls you a nickname. 

And when it comes to compliments? Be prepared to be absolutely showered with them. 

If you tell him how manly he is... well, the first time you do so may actually result in some manly tears of joy. 

He will compliment everything and anything: your looks, your strength, your determination. Things you are insecure about will now be complimented so much that you will almost thing they’re your best assets. 

He’s pretty good at receiving compliments. “awwweeee you think so?”  But he’ll still have that slight pink tint adorning his cheeks. 

Smiles the absolute brightest as he receives and gives compliments like a pro. Will 100% melt your heart. 

Kaminari Denki 

Being together with Denki means the most fun nicknames and a lot of them 

Like don’t be surprised if there’s a new one every day. They are all very sweet though, although some might be a little weird? 

Matching couple nicknames are definitely a thing with him. It may feel a little weird at first, but once you lean into it, it’s kind of cute. 

With that territory comes gag gifts and the Mr. & Mrs. items. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. After a while even your friends start giving you these gifts. Can’t help it you two are so cute together. 

Denki, emotionally intelligent as he is, not only compliments you frequently, but he knows exactly what to compliment you on to make you feel better. 

Tried some new style of clothes? Got a haircut? He will notice and say something about it! 

Felt bad about studying? Going through a stressful time? Trained extra hard? You bet he’s going to say something about it to let you know your efforts aren’t going by unnoticed. 

Although he is usually the target of more playful banter, and is okay with that, Kaminari likes to be complimented too. Gives him the extra boost to get through his day and you will just notice him having that extra spring in his step after you compliment him. 

Compliments from anyone make him feel extra extra nice, but yours just elevate his mood to the next level. After all affirmations from the one you love most are the best possible kind of affirmations. 

Hanta Sero 

Sero tends to stick to the more standard nicknames when it comes to you. In the beginning, he will even just call you by your name, maybe change the suffix to make it more cute or friendly, but he’s actually a tiny bit shy to start calling you nicknames. 

The moment you start though, he’s quick to adapt and just blend in and go along with it, echoing your nicknames for him back at you, in whichever way is appropriate. 

One time he tried a more personalized nickname for you, but it was more an hilarious attempt than a cute one. It stuck though and now you use the nickname frequently, not only for him to call you by, but also the other way around, it’s hilarious. 

He’s pretty generous with compliments! Most are in the form of astonishment at your actions and accomplishments, like comments on how well you did on a test or training. 

A lot of “wow y/n that was just great” and “Y/n!! you’re amazing” it comes out so spontaneously and it is super genuine. 

Doesn’t really know how to take a compliment? An awkward thank you or an even more awkward ‘you too!’ when it doesn’t even fit is pretty frequent. 

When it comes to you, he can accept them a little less awkwardly, but he still gets a little flustered. The redness of his cheeks only encourages you to add onto the pile of love, or to softly kiss his cheeks, this man is adorable and deserves all the encouragement and love! 

Mina Ashido

Mina can come up with the most nice, yet crazy and unique nicknames you’ve ever heard. 

Based off of memories you share, based off of your quirk, your looks, your style, things you do, things you like... sometimes a new one will just pop up in her head and she will start calling you that. 

Some last a long while, but she’s got at least 2 new nicknames for you every single month. You just do so many things together and it’s just so easy for her to come up with new ones. 

By all means, do the same for her. She absolutely loves it. At some point no one will know who you’re trying to call, but that’s okay, the both of you always know whenever a nickname is meant for the other. 

Mina is always lifting up those around her and compliments will always be a big part of that. Not only to you, her partner, but just everyone! 

She will compliment anything and everything and at least once a day. She will boost your confidence like that, and make it easier for you to accept compliments if you’re not that good with that! 

Mina, even though she seems easily distracted, does know what you are saying and listens to you. She knows what you’re up to in your life, and thus will be able to compliment you on progress you’re making towards your goals, or fears and other hurdles you’re overcoming. 

She will sometimes even explicitly ask about your goals and such, just to be able to lift you up, even if you’re not making the kind of progress you wanted to make.

She’s super good at accepting compliments, just having the appropriate response always, throwing a compliment back, serving the biggest smiles and genuine thanks. Absolute role model for you too! 

[malewifesband]

i need to finish how to build a road but this is so fun i think i will start drafting for this asap

as illustrated by zon offering his sister up as consort, marriages which cannot result in a bloodline are acceptable as consorts, and i think ill just take that as fact. and i cant imagine the elven queen doesnt have a hundred concubines. and if im going to borrow so much from queen medb anyway i may as well take it as fact laios could have as many consorts and lovers as she can stomach. her own parents might have had a monogamous marriage but do we really know if thats because monogamy was standard in the north or because her father couldnt afford a second wife? anyways this means that this first wife could be from anywhere, of any race, and yes marcille should have an affair with her. let falin hit to when she gets home. imagine if its like. pattadol. her parents dont like her so they just marry her off to the king shes acting as diplomat for and well thats her life now!

(ill probably drop that plot if i write it but its still so fun)

honestly as hard as laios crushed on toshiro back then, by the time marriages are getting arranged, i think shed be well over it. so now shes in this position where the guy she had a crush on who she didnt realize she was crushing on until AFTER their friendship was sort of cancelled and then ambiguously renewed when she saved the world and he fucked off back home is now her husband. for politics. and hes still very sexy and cool and incapable of communication

i find kabru and laios chemistry really irresistible and i cant imagine they manage to keep their hands off each other for too many years, especially once laios transitions. and even if the day after she comes out they sent out a proposal to the nakamoto clan, there would still be a solid year before toshiro could make footfall in melini. long time to resist the fact they both want to live in eachothers rib cage.

i feel like this is yaads arrangement, since theres just no way for kabru to be partial about this and he hasnt taken the ministry yet anyhow. so like i dont think either he nor laios actually know its going to be toshiro until it is and now kabru has been sleeping with his penpals fiancee for months--which you know, he was completely fine with having an affair with laios so long as they were discrete when it was an abstract person shed be marrying. very different when its his friend who has a very negative opinion of his governess bc shes sleeping with his dad. that's so messy. but what is he gonna do, stop?

i love the idea of marcille trying to make the romance bloom for laios and toshiro... she is having the worst time ever doing this. she doesnt know about the labru affair yet either bc they decided to keep it as deep under wraps as possible, especially while waiting for laios to get married, so shes like expecting support from kabru here since she knows he likes toshiro and laios is also his best friend, AND she knows he knows laios had a crush on toshiro. but hes just like. ^_^💢 im sure theyll figure it out marcille! lets not interfere.

WAIT DIFFERENT IDEA...

laios: kabru im really nervous about you know... consummating the marriage with toshiro. god it feels weird calling him that too! this whole thing is weird!

kabru: (trying to remain very calm bc this is beginning to sound like the opening scenes of an erotica novel) what about it is making you so nervous?

laios: hes not going to make the first move. ill have to do it, but i dont know how to do that! how can i make him want to have sex with me?

kabru: (calm level: 80%) youre very attractive, laios (calm level: 75%) im sure if you just flirt with him, youll be fine.

laios: can you coach me?

kabru: (CL: 45%) coach you?

laios: youre so smooth and like... if you were my husband, youd know exactly what to say to make me comfortable. so coach me like you do with meeting dignitaries, please? 🥺

kabru: (CL: 10%) i um. of course. i can coach you. thats my job. coaching you through difficult social situations.

^and thats when they start fucking

with me going hard on tfem laios, i think shed be a lot more comfortable with having kids if shes the one bearing them (which i have no doubts is possible in this world, it would just likely take some form of ancient magic and a lot of experimentation, assuming it hasnt been done before. i believe marcille could do it if she could regrow falin from scratch). i think being the mother instead would break some of that traumatic association laios has with becoming his father, and while her relationship with her mother is poor, its not nearly as bad as with her father. i dont think shed be eager to name an heir, but i think the idea of having kids would be less hard to consider

a more matriarchal monarchy would be respected by the elves, and i dont think they would expect a titled queen (as opposed to a queen-consort) to marry as the heir is obviously legitimate if she bore it and there are witnesses

however from a political angle i would love love love to arrange a marriage between the nakamoto clan of the island of wa and the woman-king of melini to cement a trade agreement which will increase the nakamotos position at home and abroad

plays very nicely with my thought that toshiros dad would be extremely impressed that he befriended a king and would want him to go establish a branch family in a new nation with rare resources. what better way to do that than to marry off your permanently single son to a queen? she can bear kids right? alright, thats all papa nakamoto needed to hear. go make some royal babies son

its extremely romcom but maybe this should be funny a bit. maybe i am having a lot of fun with this. and i bet you laios still doesnt fucking know toshiros clan name so shes going to hear who shes marrying and all thats going thru her head is "oh shuros from that island" so toshiro her new fiance is going to arrive and shes gonna be like "^^ yayyyy shuro i didnt know you knew my new husband, are you gonna introduce us?"

and toshiro, who has been dreading this for months, now has to figure out how to break it to her thats him. hes the husband. please dont make this weird laios

[sneakydraws]

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 

[babysizedfics]

are you still wanting the requests? because after the disaster that was roman trying to act like a cg for baby virge, I'd be interested in seeing it the opposite way around? like who is the bigger disaster here when it comes to trying to act like a cg

this ask.. is from july..... wow i take my time shskdhhs but please accept this vague bullet fic/concept/thing

Vee trying (and failing) to babysit Ro

So. One day (around september 2020) Virgil decides he wants to try his hand at babysitting — but the thing is he doesnt actually want to

he basicaly thinks bc roman takes such good care of him as his big bro that vee should be doing smth similar. he thinks he's a bad brother in comparison if he can't offer the same care for roman

roman always disputes this but vee wants to at least try it, he's curious anyway

He asks roman privately because he doesnt want to tell logan and patton abt it, he’s embarrassed: what if they say he’s a silly baby for trying to be bigger?

also lowkey because virgil hates the idea of being a cg but hes gonna try anyway to try to be a good baby brother (ironically)

it's kind of a recipe for disaster because as we have said before, vee genuinely feels uncomfortable around little roman if virgil isnt little too

it's the fact that he finds so much comfort in being the youngest of their group, he's literally babey on all levels and if roman is actung younger than him vee just feels weird

but they try it out privately in roman's room one day (when the caregivers have said they want to be alone for a while) - roman is actually pretty indifferent to the whole idea, he just wants to help virge try (he’s secretly doubtful it will wotk but won’t say that out loud)

virgil is understandably rlly nervous and uncomfy and generally an anxious wreck

So roman takes charge and is like 'okay what should i call you?' and virgil is shakily like ‘umm… maybe just Virge is fine?’

And then Roman smiles really wide and says ‘Okay, Virge!’

it shocks virgil because Roman has very suddenly become little, his stance and voice very clearly those of a child. there wasnt any time to prepare himself

‘Do you wanna play with me?’ roman asks excitedly

Virge is really stunted like ‘s-sure’ (internally he’s like say kiddo! Just say it, it's not hard! Arrggggh I can’t!!)

And Roman starts talking to virgil about his toys and what they do

at first virgils like ‘oh that’s really cool.. Um, should I?’ points at romans toy nervously

Roman nods and pushes a toy into Virgil’s hand and starts enacting a scene with the two in his own hands

Virgil hesitates to butt into Roman’s game, he doesnt want to get the toy to say the wrong thing and upset roman.. And what if he can’t think of anything to say? What if Roman thinks he’s boring? What if he ruins the game?

on top of that virgil is starting to feel really.... iffy.. he just feels a weird sinking in his chest while he looks at roman's childish behaviour, his tummy is in knots and he kind of wants to cry but he doesnt know how to explain that

so he tries to swallow his nerves and pulls the toy up to his mouth and runs it gently across his lip as he watches Roman play. its comforting

Roman makes the toys in his hands yell at each other and Virgil jumps a bit and whimpers

Roman looks over at the noise and says sorry with an apologetic smile, but then his face changes a bit as he notices something

‘Virge, no,’ roman says gently then he reaches out to gently pull Virgil’s hand from his mouth

virgil realises with a blush that he was sucking on the toy

'You're not allowed to suck things except pacis, remember?' roman says

‘Sorwy’ Virgil murmurs. he puts the toy back down on the carpet and hugs his knees to his chest tightly. he's wiggling a bit on the spot and tugging at his sweater sleeves

Roman pauses for a bit and then ducks in front of virgils gaze with a questioning look

‘Are you feeling little, Vee?’ he asks in his adult voice, using a slight baby tak for vee's benefit

Virgil blushes and quickly shakes his head. ‘No, ’m big.’ he's not supposed to be the little one!

‘Okay…’ Roman squints slightly at him but goes back to playing with his toys, this time getting them to talk to virgil to try to include him in the game

roman obviously noticed that virgil was anxious about jumping into the game so of course he is compromising by prompting virgil gently with questions

But the interaction with romans toys makes virgil feel so much littler

theres a lot of 'what do you want this one's name to be?' 'um... um may-maybe tibble?' 'okay, Sir tibble it is!'

it's usually small insignificant decisions like that and they get virgil to giggle a bit. he does suck the toy a couple more times but roman keeps stopping him with a smile and eventually virge just drops the toy and hugs his knees to avoid it happening again

but eventually roman asks virgil a Very Important question

'Prince Virge, what shall we do with the treacherous thief?'

and that is FAR more responsibility than virgil is comfy with having

‘Um,’ Virgil bites his thumbnail and looks nervously between the toy and Roman. he really doesnt want to decide something so important and maybe ruin the game

also he's feeling really melty in his chest and words are kind of tricky to say at the moment

‘C’mon,‘ Roman encourages gently with a smile, 'you can do it.'

and the softness in Ro’s tone feeds the liquid warmth in Virgil’s chest and he hugs his legs tighter

and he can feel his eyes tear up for some reason that he can't explain. he just feels small and weird and he wants a hug

Roman sees the tears and quickly kneels up and shuffles in front of virgil

he places his free hand on virgils leg and strokes a little to comfort him

'Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t be nervous,’ he whispers, squeezing Virgil’s knee

Virgil sniffles lightly and tentatively reaches his hand out to stroke the toy in romans hand. it looks like a nice texture

Roman smiles and lets virgil hold the toy and stroke it for a moment to calm his nerves. When it seems he’s calmed roman tries again.

‘What do you wanna say to the thief, Vee?’ he asks slowly and kindly, looking down at virgil from where he is knelt above him

Virgil looks up at him with wide eyes then back to the toy. His thumb slots in between his lips. ‘Hewo?’

‘Hi, Vee-Vee,’ Roman giggles and shakes his head. ‘I think you’re little.’

Virgil pouts around his thumb then points at him. ‘Wo-Wo lil.’

‘Yeah and now you are too!’ Roman laughs. 'But you're even littler,' he boops Vee's nose

This makes Virgil excited and he giggles and bounces.

Roman laughs at how sweet he is. Okay, looks like it's time to be a responsible big brother again

and really this feels SO much better for both of them. virgil doesnt like being older and tbh? roman doesnt like being younger either

'do you want your paci, baby?'

Virgil makes a mnh! sound that means yes and Roman reaches out to the paci vee brought with him just in case (yeah they both secretly knew this might happen)

Roman holds it up to Vee's mouth and smiles when vee gasps im excitement and takes romans hand in both of his and latches onto the pacifier

Then he thinks. he has one more thing to check before they can both be little: 'Vee, do you remember if you're wearing a pullup?'

vee tilts his head in confusion

roman frowns 'A pullup, remember? Like a diaper.'

Vee seems to remember something at the word diaper and looks around himself with a smile.

It quickly fades when he looks back at his brother, his fingers reach up to tug his paci. ‘Where baba?’

‘You want your papa?’

Vee nods.

‘Um…’ Roman bites his lip and looks to the door. ‘But Mom said they’re both busy. Don’t you wanna stay here with me for a bit? i can just check if you're wearing a pullup then--'

Virgil whines loudly and looks around. He is growing gradually more panicked, shoulders tensed up to his neck and feet kicking at the carpet. he's getting fussy

‘Shh, it’s okay, baby.’ Roman takes his hand.

When vee's wet eyes snap onto him roman offers him a reassuring smile. ‘Alright, let’s go find Dad.'

unfortunately when they do find the caregivers they are busy and not able to take care of vee, so roman actually grows up and takes care of vee until patton comes in later to take over

and that was very ironically roman's first experience of babysitting virgil!

[fairycosmos]

somebody I loved died month ago. when will it get better?

i'm so so sorry. so so sorry. and i wish i knew so i could tell you. but it's been almost 4 months for me and it hasn't gotten better. i don't think better is a very useful descriptor for coping with grief. there's just living with it. it's even worse because every bit of advice or well meaning reassurance is always going to pale into comparison to the pain you're feeling every day. like there's no satisfactory answer, you know? the only thing i've learned with a bit of time is that this process of coming to terms with what's happened isn't linear. anger, sadness, despair, disbelief - it all comes and goes in weird, choppy waves. it doesn't have to make sense, and you don't have to feel or think a certain way about the death. the opposite side of all the love you have for this person is all the grief you're processing now, and it is the most natural thing in the world.

most of the time for me, it's literally just about getting through the day. that's all i can do, sometimes not even that. lying there breathing is often the only manageable act. and whenever i'm hit with that sensation of being ran over and i feel like it's all just so fucking impossible and unfair, i sit and cry and let myself lose my mind. if that doesn't happen for you, that's ok too. i'm also still in a place of not being able to comprehend the permanence of this, so numbness is to be expected as well. shock/loss does weird things to the brain. it's like you have to learn to live with the person you are now, whoever that is. and your version of feeling okay before grief is not the same as feeling okay with the grief. to me all of this seems like having to figure out a new way of being. a horrible one, but a necessary one now that what's happened has happened.

a thought i had very soon after i lost my sister was that our relationship wasn't over. our time together in the physical sense was, and that was beyond horrible. i actually can't explain how horrible that was and still is. but i tried to remember that talking to her and writing to her and living my life with her still alongside me was not impossible. even if it's not at all the same. i also like to think about how so much of the person i am is because of her and the love we have, and every day i'm alive there's ripples of her in my choices, thoughts and actions. she persists in more ways than one. it's the same with the person you loved, and everyone who loved them. they aren't here, but they're not gone. though i know the absence makes it feel like they might as well be. to be honest absolutely nothing in this world will make up for what you've lost. like literally nothing. it's the cruelest, most unfair thing and to find it unbearable is completely justified. i get so stuck on all the things she'll never do, and how it's always going to be like this from here on out. it's hell, it literally is. and the loneliness is unbelievable, because nobody and nothing fills that void, nobody is them. the feeling of being literally gutted by that fact is probably a long lasting side effect. at least it looks that way to me.

but people have told me that as time goes on, the things that trigger that avalanche of blinding sadness lessen. and that you learn to live with the loss and the emotional turmoil, rather than getting rid of it or losing yourself in it entirely. theres a middle ground, apparently. i hate even writing that, because i dont want to 'learn to live' without my sister. i aggressively do not want the future without her in it. but what else is there? what else can we do? i'd also like to recommend talking to someone if that's an option - maybe seek out a support group (online or otherwise, facebook has some good ones), or a grief counselor, or simply talking to your loved ones about what you're dealing with. share memories, look at photos together, ask them what it's like for them and how they're feeling. even if every grieving process is unique, they will understand to an extent. it's so so hard to get the words out and sometimes it feels like ripping open a wound, but it's much easier to face this with others than it is to face it alone. and you do have to face it to comprehend and accept it. even if the next day, you go back to being unable to. i struggle with that too, and isolating myself rather than spending time w my loved ones/talking. but it's something we can both work on at least attempting to do. anyway yeah, i'm so sorry man. it's literally the worst, it's the most unexplainable level of devastation. i'm proud of you for making it this far. try to just take it one hour at a time. that's my dad's mantra right now, and has been since she died. it's all you should expect of yourself, especially at this point. take care okay 💖

[wherethesunsails]

ceter will you explain alpha and omega to me. like I get the vibe but also what. and what's a beta's job vs an omega's. the people need to know

OKAY

its three am and i can finally face this question.

so the way it breaks down is that alpha/beta/omega is a secondary gender. so like. there’s still. you know. guys girls. whatever. but then the concept is that once you hit puberty, you also present with your secondary gender, because secondary gender is like. mega wrapped up in hormones. (i mean. normal gender is too i guess. whatever. we’re not here to talk about normal gender) and like pheromones and shit so the way it works is that like. there’s a Hierarchy.

Apparently there are like. other secondary genders but like. no one talks about those you’ll only find those in like. mega niche corners of the whole omegaverse concept so we won’t be talking about those. 

so Alphas are at the top of this heirarchy, and depending on who your author is and how they decide to play around with it, Sometimes alphas go into Rut. The way Rut works varies from fic to fic and from author to author, but usually it’s a monthly thing like a Heat OR it gets triggered by a Heat. Alphas are like usually mega strong etc etc and like. if they get affected by their hormones/pheromones too much they can go Feral and while sometimes thats like 👀😏 if you catch my drift it’s also like usually a Bad thing because like. feral alphas are completely out of control and like. have absolutely no sense of boundaries or propriety and like. usually can’t be stopped etc etc so like. they’re Likely very horney and like all ‘roided out so. oof yikes yanno um there’s this whole thing where alpha’s eyes will turn red and that’s usually like. if they’re aroused or like. mad. there’s a Whole Thing. like. it’s kind of like supposed to be a mood indicator almost? idk a good way to explain that

then there are betas. betas are the neutral party in this whole business. they don’t have ruts, they don’t have heats, they’re generally much less affected by pheromones in general, so they don’t deal with the horny disease beyond like. a normal every day person and they’re usually much more mellow than alphas or omegas. basically a beta is like. you basically don’t even have a secondary gender and betas are often what people make characters they hc as ace or whatever which i think is super interesting. 

then there’s omegas. So. the thing about omegas is that. while the frequency of heats depends, once again, on your author and the fic, I think the generally accepted rule is that omegas go into heat roughly once a month (like. yanno.) and when they’re in heat they’re just fucking. out of their mind horny. they are looking to get dicked down. they put out all kinds of fucking. bottom pheromones that make all the alphas around them go absolutely fucking wild and so theres like. this whole trope about how like. “no im not going to have sex with you you’re in heat you don’t know what you’re asking for” or like “no im not going to bond with you we’ve never even spoken before im just trying to make sure you’re okay” and like an alpha like. barely holding onto their control by a thread like. so close to snapping but they’re a Good Alpha so they would Never Do Anything Like That etc etc anyway and ALSO depending on (again) author, fic, there could be the whole concept of true mates and in that case usually the omega’s eyes turn gold which i think is super cool

OH okay backtracking to add this but i promise im trying to make this organized but- whatever anyway. there’s also like this whole concept of like. mating and bonding and its like. kind of like marriage BUT in order to like. create the bond and like. make it Work there’s Biting involved which. heyo. and like it’s this whole thing of like. you know an omega’s taken if they’ve got like. the silver bond mark at their throat because it’s like a whole thing. and i’ve seen it where you have to wait for a heat in order to trigger a bond because otherwise it won’t take like if it’s just during whenever it won’t work, it has to be in a heat and I think usually the logic behind that is that like. biting someone hard enough to leave a permanent scar would hurt like a bitch but if it’s during horney times then you’re probably going to be so overwhelmed by like. the sex endorphins or whatever then you probably won’t notice? anyway there’s also a good chance that you’ll get fangs in an omegaverse fic so. fuck yeah on that one dude. anyway

there’s this whole conversation happening now which I think is really cool about how (also knots are a thing im not going to go back up and find a place to put this- no wait it’ll come up in a minute but i’m leaving this here to remember anyway) there’s this whole thing going around well maybe not a Whole Thing ive seen a couple things talking about it but anyway it’s like. werewolf fiction and like. werewolf fucking. like. um. so. lycanthropy is generally accepted. ? in literary circles. ? as an allegory for like. being queer. I guess. ? so like. there’s this concept of like. if werewolf fucking is a gay allegory, something that the fanfiction community has done with alpha/beta/omega dynamics is that they’ve created this space to like explore a lot more behind like. queer gender etc because like. omegas fucking. gush. lubricant. in heat and like. alphas have. knots and like. there are male omegas and female alphas and so like it’s this whole thing about guys who lubricate and girls who have dicks and i think it’s SO fucking interesting to like look at that because I have read. A Lot of omegaverse fanfic in my time and some of it is better than others but something that generally ties it all together is this concept that like. male omegas are supposed to be super rare, and usually they’re part of this like. “oppressed group” because they’re marginalized whatever but I’ve been ranting to myself about this for Forever because consistently what omegaverse fanfiction feels like is a space for, usually queer people, to be like “hey, here are these things i’m dealing with, like here’s the gender inequality bullshit, here’s this weird version of homophobia, but we’re going to like ramp it up to what might seem like an absurd level for the sake of the fiction, but in doing so, it’s going to create a space to like. process what is actually going on with the real world counterparts and how that affects us” and idk man i just think its SO interesting and i love like. trying to analyze it so much AH