#theres 100% other shit ill write for but. this covers some bases

[thiefbird]

I want to write

Please my loves send me prompts

literally any fandom ive ever expressed interest in is up for grabs

[irradiatedsnakes]

[ID: 7 drawings of monster!mechanisms designs. they are as follows: 1. a colored drawing of ivy alexandria that has been partially passed through the deep dream generator neural network, giving parts of the image a swirling, surreal appearance, often resembling eyes. 2. a digtal sketch of nastya as a ghost. her eyes are obscured by her glasses shine and she is covered in blue wisps, and dripping blue from her mouth and hands.  3. a digital sketch of drumbot brian as a centaur sitting down. his horse half is also mechanical and resembles a clydesdale. he also has horse-ish ears. 4. a sketchy bust of vampire marius. he looks smug, and looks to the side with a fanged smile. 5. digital sketch of partially-transformed werewolf gunpowder tim with doglike ears, claws, and a tail. he says "ok why did getting turned into that somehow give you a pitchfork." with a quizzical expression. 6. digital sketch of jonny d'ville as a devil or demon, with horns, pointy ears, cartoony wings, and a thin tail with a heart-shaped tip. he's holding a hellish pitchfork, looking confused and says "what? i already owned this.” 7. a traditional sketch of harpy/siren raphaella. she holds here feathery winged arms out, while her mechanical bat wings are unfurled behind her. her lower half is that of a bird. end ID]

ok ill post a couuuple. self indulgence machine go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ok so u know like back in the gravity falls fandom there was that really popular au called monster falls where everybody got turned into some sort of monster/mythological creature? i fucking love that scenario and have been making my own little “everybody gets cursed by a witch or something so now i get to draw these fun designs” aus for like everything i like (never did it w tma oddly enough? good inspo just never struck.) so here.......is..........this. not everybodys pictured here but go under the cut for a list of what everybody is plus some extra notes and stuff

lets just goooooo alphabetical order

ashes - OKAY HONESTLY STILL NOT 100% ON ASHES im THINKING half-dragon. yes i know i already went dragon for them in the furry au its just a good fit and also looks Cool, but also waiting out to see if i can think of anything better

brian - CENTAURRRR also again. yes. i know i went 4 horse for him in the furry au. its just good and has fun brian vibes. wanting to draw centaur brian was the thing that led to this au happening

ivy - ELDRITCH SOMETHIN OR OTHER...idk what youd call that exactly. but you get the gist. cosmic horror, eyes, unfathomable patterns and things. doing the deep dream stuff for her in that picture was very fun and im very happy w how it came out...definitely something to revisit in the future. not sure how i wanna draw her when...not doing a whole colored digital thing, but well cross that bridge when i can draw again

jonny - he’s. he’s a devil? a little demon guy? like. yeah. of course. this guy was fucking meant to have little wings horns and a cute little demon heart tail. he has somehow become MORE bastardly

marius - VAMPIRE MARIUS ONCE AGAIN HES JUST FUN. hes just fun and the aesthetic suits him. i cant wait to draw him in a fun little cape with one of those big dramatic collars you know the ones. vampire marius is of course @ alientoastt’s idea!!

nastya - BANSHEE...or ghost in general but there some banshee stuff i feel could be fun to integrate. apparently in some tellings banshees can turn into crows? i love that very much. but anyways hmm..some notes abt the design in thsi post shes not quite where i want her to be. this was done on that collab canvas the other day and like...was mostly noodling things out having fun, those flamey looking bits are a very nice motion very fun to do but NOT wwhat i want for ghostya. i want her to be more. drippy. very drowned person vibes. fire and upward-floating motif not what i want. but it was fun to draw. also i think theres some potential comedy in there with “person who predicts deaths” among crew who habitually murder each other

raphaella - SOMEWHERE BTWN HARPY & SIREN (the bird kind not the mermaid kind) very excited abt her. lots of fun potential poses here. doing her design was a bit tricky- sirens tend to be just like- big birds with human heads? but i didt wanna do just that that takes away too much of her design recognizbility yknow to Just have her head. so she has a people torso, bird from the waist down, plus her arms are wings. which means she has Two pairs of wings. which i for one think is incredibly fun like you remember in httyd2 valka’s dragon w the four wings? yeah. also avent figured what bird in particular shell be based on- for the ufrry au i went w african grey parrot but dont feel like that here. ill think on it

tim - WEREWOLF TIM DUH. DUH. also i think werewolves are especially funny in scenarios like thse cus like- okay everybody suddenly ahhh cursed ahh monster whatever. but then tims just there like. i mean i feel fine lol and u get to have the fun surprise of Oh Suddenly Werewolf. also the question of how exactly werewolves who change based on the moon function in a. spaceship. i like to think its entirely fucking random i think thats funny

TS - ANIMATED SUIT OF ARMOR!! I DONT HAVE MUCH MORE TO SAY ON THSI BUT I LOVE . THIS IDEA. and i will never draw it. because fuck drawing and designing armor oh my god

anyways i think thats??? all i have to say on this??? agdvjdkb. if you wanna talk about this at all (or if u wanna see more doodles...) im totally open to that. ill be real i get weirdly embarrassed about specifically this kind of au (like. monster stuff in general especially werewolf/vampire stuff i could not fucking tell you why. gotten better abt it over time though hey im actually postin this shit!) so im just happy i posted it afhcgvjdkvdg .

as for story type things like how. this happens. frankly i dont know thats not my forte. but the little bit of whatever ive got going on my head has the Terrific Trio of ivy marius & raphaella doing Research Science Whatever down on a planet somewhere get into contact with a Cursed Artifact or whatever the fuck and eventually get back to the aurora like. oh. uh. it happened to you guys too, huh. but thats like whatever honestly im not in it for the writing im here to draw fun centaur man etc.

if you made it to the bottom of this winding fucking ramble know that i love you. mwah. that was fun to write out i like thought barfing about stuff like maybe 3 people will care about

[aprilwritesabook]

I appolgize in advance for this long ass post haha.

Alright, so here's the deal. This post is gonna be part rant, part confessional, and part inspirational speech. So if your following this blog purely for the updates on my books you can skip it haha.

I know a currently published author. I used to kinda be friends with them in highschool, but it was more like a friend of a friend type deal. But I digress. Point is. They recently released there second book on Amazon. And I really wanna be happy and proud of them, and to see it as an inspirational thing, buuuuut I'm almost 100 sure they are actually a fraud?

And that's not me being bitter. I really really really wish this wasn't the case. But I have the evidence to back this theory up.

1- they claimed that there first book sold out multiple times. And to be fair this one might be at least partially true. Its rated pretty high on amazon, But then again they only have 4 people rate it and three of those people are the editor formattor and artist for the book. Soooo. Yeah I sure hope they rated it well.

2- they are constantly posting stories to there social media that are far fetched at best. They work in a bookstore. And almost every other week its a slightly diffrent story about a customer who "didn't even know" he was the author who would "burst into tears" the second he told them what the book was about because they were just Soooo touched by the message that they wept to a total stranger??? If that had happened even once it would have been an odd occurance. And this is something that apparently happens alllll the time to them. (I hate to drudge up old memes like this, but)

3- this person has recently made a tick tock and a youtube channel. And like, the content isssss questionable? And that's not necessarily a crime or anything. But they give updates about it on social media as if they are speaking to a mass of adoring fans and like...you can see how many subs and views a person has. We know he dosn't have a big fan base. And I know that sounds harsh. But like, some more gullible people have asked him for advise on how to be "successful" and "gain a following", and he answers them with authority. Like he has the answers even though he clearly dosn't? And that feels really... disingenuous at best?

4- along the same vein as 3. They recently made a post on twitter about how they are "overwhelmed by the amount of love and support they have found on the site" and how they get "some many heartfelt messages." Annnd again. I clicked the account. They literally have 5 followers. And not a SINGLE person has EVER liked, retweeted, or commented on a SINGLE tweet of theirs. Not one. Soooo like not only are you pretending to have a huge fan base that dosn't exist your also making up there engagement with you? Which this alone I feel brings validate to my doubts about the other things. Clearly they arn't above blatant lying and extreme over exaggeration. And also they either don't realize we can all seeeee these facts. Or they don't think anyone will actually check and call them on it ?????

Now there's a lot of other examples I could give. But my point isn't to put this ONE person on blast. I'm not trying to start beef or cause damage to their reputation or anything. Which is why I won't say their name or what there books are. The only way you'd know who I'm talking is if you also knew them in real life. In which case you either already know all this, or you should, so you don't fall victim to their lies.

The reason I'm saying any of this at all is because I think I know why they are doing it. And why so many indie authors or would be media mogels feel the need to do this.

The issue with trying to "build an audience" and "self market" yourself, is that you really only have 2 ways of guaranteed sucess.

You either need to have a pre established audience based on success you've already had in the past. (IE youtubers and movie stars writing successful books cause there fans will buy anything of there's reguardless.)

Or you need to buy your way in. Be it by quitting your day job to make social media your full time job, buying ads, hiring a social media person,or hiring a team of people with their own audiences (audio book narrators, cover artists, managers, ect)

And if you don't ALREADY have an audience, and you don't have the funds to BUY your way in, then your just gonna have to get real lucky.

You can be lucky for knowing somebody with an "in". They work in publishing, or advertising, or they're your rich uncle. Just someone who you can go to to get that boost one way or another to get one of the first two methods going for you.

You can get lucky by commenting the right thing on the right post and gaining followers that way. Or by being in the right place at the right time to meet somebody important.

You can be lucky by having lots of supportive friends and family who will promote you and your work FOR you.

Or lastly (and this is in the realm of being a one in a million case here. So it basically never happens without one of the other things I mentioned also being true.)

You can be lucky by working REALLY hard, and being REALLY talented, and having the world actually NOTICE YOU somehow? Just one person with influence who can find you in your dark hole of insignificance and shine a light on you so now the world can actually seee you.

And that sucks.

You could write the greatest book in the whole world. Truly a masterpiece. But if nobody buys it or reads it because they don't know who you are??? Then it dosen't matter does it?

It sucks Soooo hard.

Because untill you get those people with influence to shine a light on you, theres nothing you can do. And the market is soooooo drenched in new indie authors that the odds of the right people finding and liking your book are slim to none.

Its super unfair.

The people who have the influence arn't gonna buy a book with 0 reviews and no social media following.

Why? Because THEIR brand depends on only recommending the good shit. And they need to find that good shit NOW. If they read every book written by nobody's online, they'd have to wade through ALOT of garbage. wasting all their valuable time and money till they found something worthy. And honestly, from a business stand point, you cant really fault them for that

This is where the lies come from.

So basically no matter how you look at it, or what your strategy is, In order to get fans, you need to ALREADY HAVE THEM.

When your just starting out. And I mean truly at square one. It really feels like the only way to "make it" is to "fake it"

If you PRETEND to have a big following. And you PRETEND your books are selling really well already. And you PRETEND that people care deeply about you and your work... Then there is a chance that nobody will do the homework to find out its all a lie.

And if they think your successful already, then it sends a message to the consumers brains of "well they must be good. Everybody loves it/them".

It sucks that so many people who have found real success did so with lies, cash, and being already well connected.

And then they buy it, and they follow you, and the confirmation bias sets in, and eventually you'll dupe enough people into liking you that you don't HAVE to lie anymore.

Those of us with no cash and too high a conscious to lie our way to the top are left with virtually no chance of succeeding no matter how hard we work or how good our content is.

And I'm not claiming to be "better than" or "more worthy" than anyone else. I wanna make it clear that of your in the portion of having it fake it so you can follow your dreams then more power to you. Its a valid strategy. I hate that it works and I hate that its the only option sometimes. But I don't hate the people as creators for "doing what it takes." I get it. Really I do.

And it suckks major ass that so many people feel like this is the only way.

My whole point here. Is that we have slowly built a system where this is our reality. And honestly? End of the day? There's not a damn thing we can do to change it at this point.

In a perfect world made of unicorns and puppies. I could say "hey lets all go ready books by completely unknown authors. Be the change you wanna see in the world." But at the end of the day, especially in the unfiltered world of self publishing, It would be a complete shot in the dark to spend your resources on something completely unknown. We rely on word of mouth, and "best sellers" and high following to do the work of filtering out the bad stuff for us and it would be unrealistic if not impossible to go back on it now. Even if we wanted to there algorithms and shit built into the code. You'll never find the books that Amazon dosnt want you to find unless you search for it directly.

Now comes the confession/inspirational bit

I know all of the above to be true...But I'm choosing not to care

I'm not gonna lie my way to the top. I'm not gonna hide my struggles out of fear of seeming inferior. So here goes

I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety. I've been working on it, and I've gotten so much better in recent years. But there are always gonna be times when I slip up and my mental illnesses take over

When I was writing my first book I felt really empowered and good about myself for finally getting past all my own barriers and following my dreams.

And then once I was done writting and editing and I was ready to show the world and get feedback. I flopped.

I couldn't find anyone willing to beta read. Those who said they would do it (even people who claimed they "couldn't wait") ghosted me after I actually sent it to them

I was hoping to get 20 people. I really wanted it to be the best it could be. Only 11 actully signed up. Of that 11, 5 people actually read it: My spouse, my brother, my best friend, and 2 others. Those two others read the first bit I sent them, took a few weeks to get back to me, said they loved it, but then Neeeeeeeeever got back to me when I sent them the next chunk.

Now you can look at all that and come to the conclusion that it sucks. I know I sure did.

The struggles at each step made me doubt myself more and more to the point that I almost gave up writing all together.

And I didn't want to take about it or how it was making me feel, even though it was having a serious impact on me. I wanted to bottle it all up and let it consume me. Allllll because I didn't want people online to write me off as a failure before even giving me the chance.

I wasn't lying about being successful. I was just trying to hide the fact that I wasn't.

And that's almost as bad. Because then all the new authors just feel worse about themselves and their journey because they think they are the only ones.

Your not alone.

Everyone is struggling.

We just aren't talking about it.

I haven't written a word in over a week because I've been so afraid my second book will be dead on arrival like my first.

And I KNOW somewhere out there is someone just like me whose thinking of giving up.

Don't.

Just keep going.

Do your best. And then come find another struggling writer and share with each other. The world outside might not understand your struggle. But another author might.

We can't change the market. We can't change the way social media works, or how people decide if they will buy things

But what we CAN change, is whether those of us within the community want to be honest about our struggles and frustrations. Or if we want to hide them away and lie about them for the sake of making more sales

I think by being honest with one another we can create a better network.

That way the next time you feel like garbage for not being an "instant celebrity" like everyone else. you can look at the community and realize that you were never the problem

If we just keep making new writing friends our collective reach will eventually take hold in the outside world. Don't wait for a random influencer to notice you. Just make one friend at a time. Be known amongst your peers and maybe the rest will follow

And if your a writer desperate for feedback, or just a friend to share your troubles with. Hit me up. My inbox is always open.