#there. very amused. but i don't like that w girls. as hot as claires rev2 cowgirl outfit is i don't like playing w it on. it feels wrong

[geddy-leesbian]

Mildly high in the bathtub and feeling rambly.. I know from my blog/ao3 it seems like I'm one of the people that's deeply invested in RE men and ignores the girls, but I do love Claire so fucking much, probably not as much as I love Luis but more than I love Leon to be completely honest. It's just that I don't like her in the situations I like to write about. Hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, that's been my jam as long as I've been in fandom spaces. And I just don't enjoy the thought of Claire in situations like that. I love inserting Luis into as many fucked up scenarios as possible. I play other RE games he's not in and think "what if Luis was here and got traumatized more haha" but I don't do that in games without Claire because I prefer to think she's fine and thriving and not getting into fucked up scenarios. I play Darkside chronicles and Revelations 2 and love Claire so much but when i get to the end of the game the book closes for me, like "damn poor Claire went through a lot of shit, she deserves a good break" I'm not brainstorming ways to further torment her like I do with Leon and luis, i want her happy. But I also don't like writing happy fluff, again I've been mega into angst as long as I've been writing, and I've never enjoyed domestic fluff really. I only do fluff as the payoff for a bunch of angst. I have vague fluffy thoughts for hwo Claire's nice life could be unfolding, but they aren't thoughts i feel i need to flesh out and write down. And if i tried to write them, I'd be bored to death by the lack of angst and drama

And I know I've written Serrennedy fluff where they're okay and thriving so I should be able to do the same with Claire but it's very specific fluff with those two. It's them being parents because of all my daddy issues and trauma, I don't write fluff of them unless kids are involved. And I also don't see Claire as a parent. Like maybe to Sherry but that's special. (And i mean I usually imagine Leon as the one being Sherry's parent anyway) I've been struggling with the next chapter of wakin' up blind with the house on fire for a very long time and finally realized recently it's because something about it didn't feel quite right, a conversation where Claire tells Leon she's been thinking about having a kid too. Like it's sweet and appeals to my "almost every relative I have is either dead or shitty" trauma because it's claire saying she still sees leon as a brother and their kids will be like cousins, but it just doesnt feel right, I think she's makes more sense as the cool childfree aunt

Idk how to conclude this. Just. I enjoy women escaping traumatizing situations forever and being happy and like to actively put traumatized men through more trauma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i focused on claire bc she's my number 1 blorbo but i am fond of most of the other girls too and just don't do things focusing heavily on them for similar reasons. Especially rebecca after umbrella chronicles i was like actually i hope to god she isnt in another mainline game any time soon bc i do not want to see her suffer more girl's been through enoigh 😭 and while claire has also been thru enough and deserves a rest i want to see her in a mainline game again because I think it's really hot when she lifts heavy things and shoves heavy things and beats people up sorry)