#there's very much a culture here of disparaging very successful people (esp among middle aged people)

[rubiatinctorum]

sea-glass-and-fire makes a point I really connect with.

When I see people again, my prompting question is either "How are things?" or "How have you been?" or "What have you been up to?" and after that, usually they fill me in on the exciting things that they've done since we last saw each other. It's not that people without a poppy-cutter in their minds don't ask, it's that we ask in different ways, and don't always ask about one thing in particular because, I at least, imagine that someone will tell me when I ask about what's been exciting them.

Before I learned about tall poppy syndrome and this more reluctant style of sharing, I've felt before when people hedge a bit or downplay or quickly move on, that maybe they really don't want to talk about that with me because they think I wouldn't get it or I'm not really in their circle of friends like I think I am, because "wouldn't they tell me good news if we were more than acquaintances?" And I don't like having to prove I'm worth deigning to tell good news to, so I stop engaging. The other person and I both know that something interesting has happened, so it feels like an affectation if they try to pretend it's not that big of a deal.

Either that, or I think they're shy or self-conscious, and I avoid asking further to avoid making them embarrassed and overwhelmed.

Real good to know about tall poppy syndrome because yeah it wasn't coming across 100% well before I knew about it

This is the first time someone's pointed something out about the way we behave I didn't even realise and found myself realising they are entirely right