#there's this thing where my mother drilled through my head to not impulse buy (i'm very prone to that)...
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Searching for overseas musician autobiographies that are NOT Keith Richards or a KISS member in the middle nowhere of French countryside thrift shops is like searching for a needle in the middle of a haystack
#sorry i can't stop talking about my holy grail (bob henrit's book)#but it's out of print. unavailable on ebay. nowhere to be seen on amazon. zilch on vinted. and i'm not british so it's extra hard to find it#i swear if i find it i'm making it my entire personality and i'll be insufferable for months#and even then... the bands i like are either unpopular or their books weren't translated (yet)#and i'm only talking about second hand since it's where i usually get books since i'm too used to not spending much#i can easily find books by more popular musicians (nick mason. neil young. dave grohl) first-hand in shops#but it's because their books were translated in french. and language plays a large part in availability#i have yet to check if the davies brothers' books are on vinted though#and even if i try to gather my courage and try to buy things through the net (or even physically)#there's this thing where my mother drilled through my head to not impulse buy (i'm very prone to that)...#except that now i struggle to differentiate impulse buys and things i genuinely want. so i just don't buy and think for months#and by the time i made my decision they're not here anymore and i get depressed because i think i should have trusted my gut#(i spent an entire year eyeing a weki meki album once because my mother refused to get it for me since she thought it was an impulse buy#ended up getting it for myself after i got the pass culture... trusted my gut and i had an inclusion of my bias in it)#and i feel i have to tell my mother about everything i want to buy so i can get her approval#... which can be a double-edged knife as she has knowledge but also she has a very “money-saving” mindset and doesn't like spending much#on things she doesn't consider are worth for their price. whereas i have a more “as long as i get it” mindset (which isn't a good thing)#..#sorry i got carried away 😭#you don't have to read all of this
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