#there's still no tfota category on ff.net

[emjenenla]

Feels like we're on the edge right now [A Folk of the Air Fanfic]

The one where Jude doesn’t kill Balekin and Roiben shows up ready to give Cardan a piece of his mind.

Warnings: brief mention of vomiting, much discussion of murder

Also posted on AO3 (my username there is Emjen_Enla).

I don't own The Folk of the Air or Modern Faerie Tales, they both belong to Holly Black. The title comes from the song "Let You Down" by NF.

I'm not sure how accurate Roiben's characterization is because I haven't read the Modern Faerie Tales books. I did start Tithe, but this semester has been nuts so I haven't had time to finish it. Hopefully I'll have more time to read soon.

Jude stoppered the bottle of antidote and tossed it to the Bomb, before returning her attention to Balekin.

“What have you done?” Balekin demanded.

Jude just smiled and waited for the sound of rushing footsteps which would announce the Bomb heading away to give the antidote to Cardan, but there was none. Why wasn’t the Bomb leaving?

“What are you waiting for?” she asked. “Go!”

The Bomb’s hand closed around Jude’s upper arm. “Jude,” she said quietly. “The High King commanded me not to allow you to kill Prince Balekin. Let’s go.”

Of course, before they’d left Cardan in her room, he had taken the Bomb’s hand and told her, “Liliver, as your king, I command you: Go with Jude and do not allow Balekin to die.” Jude had hoped that the plan as she’d laid it out to the Bomb would convince her that Balekin was in no danger of dying, but apparently the Bomb knew her better than that.

She wanted to argue, but any second Balekin was going to get over his shock at being outmaneuvered and come at them. She let the Bomb drag her back towards the palace. The guards at the door jumped at their sudden appearance and reached for the their weapons. “Do not allow Prince Balekin to enter the palace,” the Bomb ordered. “He is making trouble for the High King.”

They nodded in acknowledgement and the Bomb and Jude pounded into the building. “You couldn’t have just left me to make sure he wouldn’t follow us?” Jude growled as they ran.

“Cardan ordered me not to let you kill his brother using my true name,” the Bomb said. “I cannot disobey him.”

Jude knew that and that was what frustrated her. Cardan had been able to come up with a plan to keep her from hurting his brother while poisoned by wraithberry. That shouldn’t have been possible. She would need to think on this a bit more, and find a way to convince Cardan that Balekin needed to die. After all, there was no other way to keep the Court of Termites happy. Balekin needed to be out of the picture.

The Bomb shoved the door to Jude’s chambers open with her shoulder and they practically tumbled inside. Cardan was sitting back against the couch, his head thrown back. His eyes were half closed and his lips were slightly parted. For one horrible instant Jude thought he was already dead, then she saw him breathe in very faintly.

She crossed the room in a couple strides and shook him with perhaps more force than you were supposed to use on a sick person, but she didn’t want him to die and he needed to be conscious enough to drink the antidote.

Cardan’s eyes slid all the way open and almost but not quite focused on her face. He looked like he was about to fall asleep. He needed the antidote now.

“What did you do to my brother?” Cardan asked, he was speaking more quietly than she had ever heard before. He was undeniably slurring.

“Don’t worry about it,” She said. She reached out behind her, not quite sure what she was doing, but the Bomb pressed the antidote vial into her hand.

Jude unstoppered vial and held it to Cardan’s lips. He looked like he was going to say something, but she cut him off. “Drink. You can screech and complain all you want once you’re not actively dying.”

He swallowed slowly, something that Jude hadn’t even realized was possible. When the antidote was gone, she set the bottle aside carefully. There was nothing to do but wait and hope that whatever Balekin had given her was really the antidote. Sure he’d said it was the antidote and he couldn’t lie, but Jude couldn’t help being paranoid.

Very slowly, some of the color started returning to Cardan’s face. He fingers twitched and he gave her hand a squeeze. Jude hadn’t even realized she was holding one of his hands in both of hers, and snatched her hands free as quickly as possible. For an instant he looked a little disappointed but he didn’t comment.

The Bomb knelt down on Cardan’s other side and looked him over quickly, testing his temperature and pulse and pressing her ear against his chest to listen to his breathing. “Do you feel any better?” she asked when she was done.

“Yes,” Cardan said, though his eyes were still half-closed and he still looked like he was instants from falling asleep. “Somewhat.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that was actually the antidote,” the Bomb sat back on her heels and patted Cardan’s arm with surprising gentleness. “I’ll try to find a way to get my hands on more so we can double-dose him just to be safe, but he’ll most likely be fine.”

“Most likely?” Jude asked. Her voice sounded a little too thin and brittle for her own good.

“There are always possible complications,” Cardan said. He was still slurring, but the fact that he was aware enough to keep track of the conversation was probably a good thing. “Who knows, all your dire pronouncements of the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption might come true and I could have a massive heart attack two minutes from now.”

“You do that and I will bring you back from the dead just to kill you myself,” Jude snapped, only mostly joking.

Cardan smiled faintly. “Of that I have no doubt.”

“What now?” The Bomb asked. “Balekin is still running around. I have no idea how long the guards will be able to keep him out of the palace.”

“Make sure he goes back to the Hollow Hall,” Cardan said. “Post guards to keep him there. My previous order about making sure no one kills him still stands, Liliver.”

“I understand,” the Bomb said, and left the room.

“Have you considered whether or not expending so much effort on keeping Balekin alive is wise?” Jude said after a minute. Now that Cardan wasn’t dying this was something that needed to be discussed. Especially since she was going to have to kill Balekin in order to appease Roiben. “It might be politically expedient to just kill him.”

“It wouldn’t be politically expedient,” Cardan said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the couch. “It would just be expedient.”

“He’s not going to love you just because you won’t kill him,” Jude snapped, only realizing after the words were spoken that this was probably the wrong time for that.

Cardan winced but when he replied his voice was steady. “I know that,” he said coolly.

“He’ll kill you,” she said.

“He’ll definitely try,” Cardan said. “But I won’t return the favor.”

That wasn’t good enough. Balekin needed to die and she needed Cardan and the Bomb not to get in the way. She briefly considered telling him what Roiben had demanded, but stopped herself. That would be a bad idea. She couldn’t afford to reveal that weak spot to Cardan, he might be able to find a way around her orders to exploit it. She stood up and planted her fists on her hips. “So are you going to get up and go back to your chambers or are you just going to sit there like a lump?” she asked.

“The second one,” Cardan closed his eyes again. “I’ll contemplate moving when I’m not so dizzy I feel like I’m going to fall off the face of the world.”

Jude bit her lip to keep from saying something that would make it sound like she was worried about him. She needed to stay detached.

There was a knock on the door. Jude tried to ignore it, but whoever it was kept knocking incessantly. She stalked over to the door and pulled it open. “What is it?” she snapped.

It was the Roach. “Roiben wants to speak to the High King,” he said.

Roiben no doubt wanted to rage about how Cardan had insulted the Court of Termites. Jude glanced over her shoulder at Cardan, who was still leaning back against the couch, his eyes closed. “Tell him that the High King is not accepting visitors at this time,” Jude said.

“He’s very insistent,” The Roach said. His eyes were large with fear.

“I don’t care,” Jude said and started to close the door. She didn’t get the door closed, however, because someone threw their shoulder against it and forced their way in.

It was Roiben and he did not look happy.

“How dare you try to keep me from speaking to the High King?” he snarled leaning in so close to Jude’s face that his spit flecked her face. “He shows appalling lack of care for my people in the face of the Undersea’s demands, and he has the audacity to show up drunk to the most important function of his reign. Not only that, but I have it on good intelligence that Balekin still lives and has returned to his home. I begin to suspect that you do not want our allegiance.”

“If you are here to scream at me, Roiben, you could at least be good enough to do it to my face.”

Jude and Roiben whirled to see that Cardan had managed to drag himself to his feet. He was leaning on the back of a chair, his fingers bloodless from the force of his grip. His face had lost all the hectic color it had had during the party and now he just looked like he was trying not to pass out.

Jude could tell his appearance was not lost on Roiben. In the ballroom it had been easy to mistake Cardan’s condition for being the result of too much to drink. He didn’t look drunk now. He looked sick.

After a moment, Roiben shoved aside his confusion and drew himself up. “Your behavior tonight was insulting,” he said. “This is a vital issue for us and you treat our anger foolishly. You have proved to us that you care not for the Court of Termites.”

“Do you want a war with the Undersea?” Cardan asked. “Do you think you would actually survive such a war unscathed?”

Jude was guiltily proud of his response. He actually sounded like a king for once. He sounded like he could actually deal with the situation. If only he wasn’t clinging to the back of a chair and visibly fighting to stay conscious. Her mind whirled as she tried to find a way out of this situation. She needed to diffuse the tension and get rid of Roiben before Cardan reached the end of his ability to pretend to be fine.

She stepped forward, ready to say something, though she still wasn’t sure what, but Roiben beat her to it. He stalked forward, getting up into Cardan’s face. It was something no one would ever have tried with Eldred, which showed just how little respect Roiben and possibly all of faerie had for Cardan. It was terrifying. Jude and Cardan were tied together; if he went down, she would go down with him.

Cardan tried to straighten up and let go of the chair, but he stumbled and almost fell. He foot hit the bucket he’d been retching into before and it toppled over, spilling out its contents which still looked like matted leaves.

Roiben glanced down at it and froze. Jude almost lunged forward to move the bucket, but that would just make it all even more suspicious. Cardan grabbed hold of the chair again and lowered his head. He was trembling and his face was gray. He really should be lying down.

Roiben looked at the contents of the bucket, then at Cardan and Jude several times. Jude’s hands clenched into fists as she watched him put everything together. There was no way out of this now.

Eventually, Roiben looked up at Jude, his eyes steady. “You were lying when you said he wasn’t poisoned,” he said. It was not a question and Jude saw no reason to respond. The answer was obvious.

“Alright,” Cardan said after a moment. “Now that the cat is out of the bag, can I sit down before I pass out?” His words were flippant, but his voice was weak. He stumbled over to the couch and snatched up a blanket that was hanging over the back. He wrapped it tightly around his shoulders and all but collapsed onto the couch, leaning heavily against the armrest.

Roiben looked surprisingly thrown. Obviously, he hadn’t been expecting his confrontation with the High King of Elfhame to go quite like this.

“He needs the antidote,” he finally said, oddly talking to Jude. “Wraithberry will kill him and quickly.”

“Already taken care of,” Cardan slurred. “I’m not about to drop dead before you can declare war on me.”

“Then he needs to drink water,” Roiben continued, still talking to Jude. “Even if he’s had the antidote, it would be a good idea to wash out his system as much as possible.”

Jude almost snapped that she wasn’t a servant and couldn’t be ordered about, then she realized he was trying to keep her from assuming he was making another attempt to poison Cardan. She stalked over the table and poured another goblet of water. Cardan took it looking a little queasy, but started to drink it without complaint.

Roiben pursed his lips. “Balekin did this,” he said after a moment. “And he tried to frame you,” he turned his intense gaze to Jude.

She wasn’t going to respond, but Cardan hummed in woozy affirmation. She shot him and glare before she thought better of it. He gave her a weak, but teasing smile in return.

Roiben swallowed and Jude could see him deciding how to proceed. “I demand Balekin’s death in recompense for all that has been done to my people,” he said. “You should not disagree given that he has just tried to assassinate you.”

“Killing Balekin will destroy any chance we have of not going to war with the Undersea,” Cardan said. “I will not sanction his death.”

“Your seneschal owes me a favor,” Roiben said. “And I have demanded his death from her.”

The look Cardan shot her was one of pure malice and promised a discussion later, but then he turned back to Roiben. “If you or anyone even remotely connected to you kills Balekin Greenbriar, I will destroy the Undersea then come back and destroy you,” he snarled. “That I swear on my true name.”

Roiben raised his eyebrows almost to his hairline, he did not seem particularly threatened even though they all knew Cardan hadn’t been joking. “No need to threaten, High King,” he said.

“Really?” Cardan asked. “Because threats, violence and murder seem to be the only language anyone I know speaks.” He did not look at Jude, but it was blatantly obvious he was talking to her as well as Roiben.

Silence fell between the three of them, which was strange because Jude wouldn’t have thought of Roiben as someone capable of being shamed by someone accusing him of bloodlust. Eventually, Cardan heaved a sigh and threw his head back to stare up at the ceiling. He was terrifyingly pale and Jude hated herself for worrying about him, especially since he’d just called her out.

Someone knocked on the door. Cardan groaned. “Oh, I wonder who’s coming a-threatening now? I’ll wager on Queen Orlagh, because, let’s be honest, that’s the only way this day could get any worse.”

Whoever it was outside knocked again. “It might be the Roach,” Jude said. Cardan grunted, but made no further comments. Seeing that he wasn’t about to take charge of the situation, Jude went to open the door.

Taryn stood outside, her hand half-raised to knock again. She was dressed in a black coat identical to Jude’s seneschal outfits and wearing the magic earrings. She startled visibly at the sight of Jude. “Jude!” she squeaked. “I didn’t expect you to be here!”

“This is my room,” Jude said. “Why are you wearing my clothes?”

“Oh,” Taryn looked down at herself like she expected her clothes to suddenly change. “I liked the coats I ordered for you so much I got one for myself. Do you like it?”

“It looks the same on you as it does on me,” Jude said slowly. “If you didn’t think I would be here, why are you here?”

“I heard that the High King was here,” Taryn said. Her shoulders were very tense and she looking like she was thinking about running. “I need to see him.”

“Why could you possibly need to see him?” Jude asked. “Couldn’t you wait until tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Taryn said. “Yes, yes. It totally could. I’ll come back tomorrow. See you later.” and then she was gone.

Jude closed the door slowly and turned around. “Who was that?” Cardan asked woozily, holding the now empty goblet loosely. She would have gone over and refilled it, but she didn’t trust that it wouldn’t slip from his hand and spill all over the floor.

“It was my sister.”

“What did she want?” Cardan slurred.

“Who knows,” Jude crossed the room and tilted her head back to look up at Roiben. “Now that you know the High King didn’t deliberately get drunk to dishonor you, are you willing to withdraw your threats?”

Roiben studied her for a moment then nodded sharply. “I will agree to table this discussion until the High King is well,” he said. “Do not attempt to put me off for longer than that. You will regret it.” He bowed perfunctorily to Cardan and swept out of the room, the door swinging closed behind him.

Cardan shifted and frowned up at her. She couldn’t tell if he was actually frowning or trying to get his eyes to focus. “So what did Taryn actually want?”

“I just told you that I don’t know,” Jude said.

“Oh,” Cardan blinked. “I figured you were just lying to keep Roiben from finding out.”

“No, she’s just not making any sense,” Jude said. “She was wearing clothes exactly like mine. We haven’t done that since we were kids.”

Cardan nodded and watched her for a minute. At first she thought he’d just zoned out then he said, “Can I ask, my dear Jude, why you didn’t immediately tell me when Roiben told you to kill Balekin?” When she didn’t respond, he went on, “No, don’t say anything, I know why: you knew I would try to stop you.”

“He needs to die,” Jude said. “If only to appease Roiben. It’s the best option.”

“No! No, it’s not!” Cardan was on his feet so quickly Jude almost jumped. He swayed wildly but didn’t fall. “You don’t understand! Maybe killing Balekin would solve all our problems, but that’s exactly what he did! He killed all of my other siblings to gain power and killing him would be exactly the same! Don’t you get it? If we kill him WE ARE NO BETTER THAN HE IS!”

Jude drew back a little in surprise. She didn’t think she’d ever heard Cardan speak so strongly. She didn’t know how to respond to him. He wasn’t exactly wrong, but as usual he was completely missing the point. To survive in faerie you needed to be as ruthless as those who would hurt you. How had Cardan lived this long as not realized that?

“Cardan...” she said, struggling for something to say.

“I’m returning to my chambers to rest,” Cardan snapped. “You will not move against Balekin. If you do or if you use my oath to compel me to move against him, I swear that I will find a way to make you regret it.”

When Jude didn’t immediately respond, Cardan nodded sharply and headed for the door. It probably would have looked more impressive if he hadn’t been visibly unsteady on his feet. He reached the other side of the room and caught himself on the doorframe. He was shaking and Jude almost called him back, told him that he could spend the night in room.

But she didn’t speak soon enough and then Cardan was out the door and into the hall, calling for the guards. The door swung closed behind him and she was left alone in her room.

She collapsed back onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling. She could go to the Hollow Hall and kill Balekin right now. She knew now that the Bomb was compelled to save him and Jude could find a way to avoid that. It would solve the Roiben problem at least, but there was no way to keep Cardan from finding out about it and then she would lose even the semblance of his cooperation. Maybe she should try to handle this Cardan’s way. Maybe everything would work out.

But it was hard to believe that things would turn out any differently than they always had...

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