#there's so much depth. so much LORE. i am not normal about this origin

[bardistraee]

i'm sure someone's said this already, but this man was so made to be a barbie villain. rendon howe would kill it in a barbie movie. tim curry voiced not one, but two barbie villains. the sauce is all there. the voice. the drama. the betrayal. the resentment. the sass ("well [cousland warden] did ask" after being scolded for insulting the king) and audacity. he'd have the best i want song. cousland origin is also basically a whole barbie movie but that's a different essay

[ohno-the-sun]

Spoiler heavy fnaf ruin dlc rant up ahead

I am so fucking proud of steal wool they really took every criticism from the original game and fixed it and even added more

Like Cassie actually acts like a human being?? And like her knowledge of the original characters and cute little comments on every item are so endearing there is so much detail going into this.

The fact that they expanded on one of the fan faves Roxanne and giving her a great arc I’m in love I’m so happy

They honestly gave more depth to all the animatronics too like we finally see Bonnie’s design and get and get a taste as to what happened, also that poster Freddy gifted him I’m crying they are so cute and gay I love them

😭😭😭

Also the whole dark ride section with Monty is so fascinating like is that narrative kind of true or is it just fabricated by fazbear inc to cover up the decommissioning of Bonnie

Why replace Bonnie with Monty?? Why not make a new Bonnie model?? With the prototype label on Freddy it may be confirmed that they make multiple models (well we already kinda knew that with Freddies comments but oh well)

Also Freddy?? Like is that our Freddy or a different one?? They very clearly highlighted the prototype label so they want to emphasize it, but then the head is still missing like in the princess quest ending so what is the truth??

Feel bad for chica fans tho she really was sidelined hard

Aaaaa and my baby boys!!! There’s 3 now aaahaga

I was really not expecting eclipse to be the way they were, very… normal? Is that the right word?? Like obviously a little delusional on when the daycare is gonna open again, but in the right mindset of like this child needs to leave this place is not safe. It is interesting to me that both he and Roxy thought that it was Cassie’s birthday, maybe that was the last day before she left the plex? Or maybe that was the day the plex caught fire? Or maybe most depressingly we are playing on Cassie’s birthday so the animatronics have it in their systems what her birthday is and wish her a happy one (if they are in the right state of mind lol)

Some peeps are upset moon is a little too villainous

I think you can still say it was mainly the virus but I would argue even if it’s not the virus I feel like moon is kinda justified here. Like sun has been shutting him away for a long time before this (if the books are to be believed but also in general) so when he finally gets a chance to roam free of course he’s gonna take it. And idk about u but if my alternate personality was constantly trying to shut me out and I finally got control, I probably too would try and keep my control for as long as possible. Also from what I have seen so far, not even moon is all that aggressive? Like he grabs you at the beginning, but I think that’s just his very ineffective way to get kids to sleep and other than that he just kinda stays away

Poor sunny baby is stuck in the ar world 🥺🥺 I didn’t notice at first but yeah everytime you talk to him it’s only in the ar world. And the end part where you switch them out for eclipse if you do that in the ar world, he says not for me it’s for moon.

I will say though I noticed the voice acting for them changed a little this game, like both have a higher pitch and are more goofy sounding? Like more gremlin energy than evil villainy. I wonder if that was on purpose? Both of them sounded more like the other so maybe that was the reason? Interest interest

Also their mouth moves?? Sort of?? That’s so silly to me they have a whole working mouth system and their face mask doesn’t work with at all 😭

Does give me lore intrigue tho cause like why do their mouths move but not anymore?? Did something happen?? Are they just not maintained enough?? They also move outward instead of up and down (at least from what I saw) so is the mechanism different?

Also the way that sun and moon talk about eachother is so interesting. Like moon says the light hurts “us” and sun says “no the other me” like they seem to almost consider eachother more connected than we first thought, like they’re not just coworkers or strangers they are almost like two sides of the same person. It’s very interesting and I wonder where people will take this.

Overall great job I’m so excited to comb through the game and find every little secret (especially regarding the dca) aaaa

Ok ok update moon does have a jump scare but it’s ridiculously hard to get and I���d still argue he’s not as vicious as he was base game. I mention in another post but eclipse being as kind as he is and being (presumably) a combination of both AIs, gives even more evidence moon is supposed to be kind and caring like his posters suggest but something went wrong. Also Cassie’s comments on their plushes show that there were kids who truly liked the daycare.

[idiotmf]

Ur world building is phenomenal ｡⁠.ﾟ⁠+(⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠)

Please tell me more abt xyon :3

Thank you so much! ( ◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

I am currently working on a story about Xyon (along with approximately fifty other things).

I usually write short scenarios with my characters for myself, sort of like different AUs, but they're in my native language, and I would like to make one that's Xyon x Reader specifically.

MDNI because my blog is 18+, the post itself shouldn't really be NSFW aside from biological aspects.

Uh, yeah... This is rather long for what I meant it to be (around 2.5k words excluding the notes at the beginning and end).

(Edit: Here is a link to the original lore dump for anyone wondering, since I reference it a lot.)

All that aside, here's a more in-depth look at my favorite biologist in the galaxy:

Appearance:

Since this is focused on just one Xenian, I can give a few more details about what he looks like. I really wish I was talented at drawing so I could give a visual representation of what I personally imagine, but I'll provide some images in case my words aren't clear enough (still working on that vocabulary, haha).

Let's start with his body!

As mentioned in the overall description, Xyon is around 2.5m (8'2), and if needed, he, like all other male Xenians, can stretch his torso up to 2.8m (roughly 9'2). If you're wondering which specific part gets stretched, it's the area just below the shoulders and above the stomach. (I'm using human anatomy here for convenience; if you're interested, I can definitely get into more in-depth Xenian anatomy, but I fear it might be boring.)

Whenever stretched, the skin gets damaged, sort of like horizontal stretch marks, but will shrink back to heal normally. Xenians don't do this often due to their high intelligence and lack of predators, causing it to be more of an evolutionary inconvenience these days.

While they still use it for mating displays, much like humans, they just prefer talking nowadays.

His overall body has a pretty slim, smooth look underneath the short fur. The muscles of Xenians are layered like thin sheets (muscle lasagna, anyone?) and don't bulge in the way human muscles would; instead, they just look broader and fuller.

Now, Xyon is considered skinny, even for his kind. I've mentioned it in the lore dump, but Xenians have moved past eating. They consume nutritional gel, which also explains why they are very lean, since they are literally only allowed to consume this gel, which covers their calculated daily needs.

If you know how nutrition works, though, you can probably see some holes forming in that logic. Xyon moves around a lot and therefore would technically require more, hence the skinny body.

His legs are long compared to his torso, especially below the knees (again, using human anatomy for convenience). His thighbones are rather short, the Xenian equivalent of Tibia and Fibula long (around 2/3rds of his legs; also, they don't have single bones but rather thousands of thin, long bones clustered together to form larger structures). It looks rather awkward when sitting or trying to crouch.

Fun fact: Xenians cannot kneel.

Well, technically, they can; once. And then not get back up without serious injuries. Their knees also cannot be fully bent back like a human's, but rather just enough to allow them to comfortably walk and sit. They actually also comfortably stand around in their strange crouching position whenever they are idle for long periods of time. Remember, they have a tail (sort of like this minus the scales) that they use for balance, resting in what I can only describe as a weird, tripod looking stance, sort of like they're leaning back and almost sitting on their tail.

I spent an hour trying to draw a representation of it, but it looked so goofy that I felt too embarrassed to share it. ( ´･ω･)

Anyway, his skull resembles that of an ocelot, complete with rows of sharp teeth, identifying his race as a once carnivorous one. (skull image) However, they don't have the typical cat whiskers, and their muzzle is less rounded.

Neat little tidbit, but technically, Xyon speaks with the Xenian equivalent of a lisp after sustaining an injury to his throat as a child (some of their sounds are formed in the throat, mainly the sheet metal-sounding one). However, since his words are translated into human speech for you to understand him, this doesn't carry over.

Xenian eyes also resemble those of cats; Xyon's are amber in color, but they can have various different ones. Of course he has a long, rough tongue due to their carnivorous roots.

Their entire body, except for their tails, genitalia, soles, and palms, is covered in a short, dark blue fur. (Imagine the fur of smooth, short coated dogs like a Doberman, Great Dane, Boxer, Beagle, etc. Just a bit softer.) If you want specifics on the color, I'd say the closest is #555C6C, ironically called Blue Planet. It looks sort of washed out due to their skin underneath being a dark gray.

His feet and hands are generally very similar in shape to those of a raccoon, except they have retractable claws and four fingers instead of five (a thumb and three fingers).

As mentioned in the species lore dump, they have retractable genitalia that are hidden underneath a layer of skin until they are exposed. It can actually harden while hidden, making their skin bulge. However, this can be quite painful since the space allowing for their phalluses isn't meant to support them in their full size.

If we're taking semen, it looks rather blueish in hue and the consistency is thicker and sort of slimy, designed to stick to a female's eggs.

Sources (cough cough) confirm it has a rather sweet-ish flavour, consuming too much of it does cause nausea in humans though.

Personality:

Xyon is an incredibly curious individual, especially later on (you'll see why in a second). He wants to know anything and everything about this planet and its inhabitants. He likes finding new plants, scanning them, and then observing for a while. He marvels at the strange animals that live on this planet (I should mention at this point that any story including Xyon is post-apocalyptic) and Earth's impressive landscapes.

Despite being very curious, he's still an extremely obedient follower of orders. For example, in one story I wrote, he was running out of his nutritional bio-gel and would simply refuse actual food, despite the scanner clearly telling him it was harmless for him to eat, choosing to starve rather than disobeying the directive to only consume the gel.

He does end up breaking one major rule, which ends up changing his entire life.

You see, while he is a biologist and was sent to earth to study and document flora and fauna for the intergalactic database, he is strictly forbidden from interacting with humans, whether positively or negatively, the only exception being for self-defense purposes. This is largely due to humans being known as primitive and extremely violent.

Xyon shares this narrative at first, since his research partner Xuan was murdered and subsequently eaten by humans after trying to peacefully interact with them.

That is, until he runs into, well, you. A lone human, injured, and on the brink of death. At first, he considers leaving you to die, then he considers observing you while you pass away, only to finally decide that even if you do attack him, he wants to help you.

Another bit of a flaw in his character is his naivety. Xenians don't have concepts like sarcasm; even lying isn't exactly something they do or consider, as it goes against their morals. This ends up with him believing everything you tell him, curiously inquiring about the most obvious of lies.

Not to mention, he speaks incredibly bluntly, which might come off as rude. This does actually improve after Xyon spends more time with you, since he learns to imitate the way you speak rather than sticking to the cold, scientific speech he uses at first.

I like to think this is a product of Xenian society, as scientists and research purpose tiers don't exactly experience individualism or even enough free will to build their own personalities to the point of even having distinguishing character traits.

I'm not sure how much I mentioned in the other lore dump (I tried to keep it short, so I kept cutting things out), but I do remember mentioning that Xenians practice culling unhatched eggs based on desirable base intelligence, health, etc. which is calculated based on your family tree, essentially. One's purpose is also determined by those stats.

Eggs far above the desired base intelligence usually become researchers and scientists, the highest "purpose" you can possibly have in their race. However, that also means that you not only get gaslit into thinking that's the only thing you're good at, you don't even get a chance to consider anything else.

Xyon is a biologist, and he cannot ever be anything but a biologist. He doesn't even have the mere choice of disliking his career, because it isn't just his job; it's his entire life.

Did I mention I love playing with such dystopian concepts?

Over the course of spending more time with you, he does eventually develop his own personality, or rather strengthen the few cracks that were present all along. But he can't help but look at you for guidance, despite being in the Xenian equivalent of his late twenties to early thirties. The concepts of being allowed to experience individualism and freely express himself are foreign to him.

I do want to mention that some Xenians do have their own personalities. This forced conformity is practiced in their general society, but only as bad as this on the higher purpose tiers, like the one he is in.

He does eventually turn into a gentle giant. I like to imagine him like a Disney princess, holding out one claw with a bird on it, like Snow White. Xyon does enjoy providing meat for you, which is a more primitive way to show that he is a suitable mate in his culture (though usually it goes both ways, or it used to, since they don't hunt anymore).

I like the concept of taking a step back from the highly intelligent life form and reverting to some more primitive practices as he develops individuality.

He never gets to the point of actively resenting his culture and planet, but rather accepts that this is one of its many differences from Earth and can be considered a flaw. In reality, he does find comfort in having a purpose, especially after you essentially tell him what life on earth was like. He finds the idea of having the freedom to try anything overwhelming, and not knowing what you're truly made for is terrifying in his eyes.

Beliefs and Values:

While a form of religion does still exist on his planet, due to the forced conformity and his purpose as a biologist, he was taught to disregard such matters for lack of logic.

Despite that, he does actually secretly believe in things like fate, especially in the context of finding one's mate.

Yet, mates are a pretty sore spot for him.

Due to their personalities, or rather lack thereof, and long absence from their planet in the name of science, higher-tier Xenians don't usually find a mate, often either living alone until death or dying during research.

Xyon does eventually express the belief that meeting you was fate and that you two were meant to end up as mates, despite being different in many ways.

He also believes that meeting you was meant to prove that humans weren't as destructive and savage as originally assumed.

(There is a whole other discussion of why earth became post-apocalyptic in the first place, and while the answer is a bit more convoluted than that, Xyon believes that the planetary representatives collectively decided that humans could not go on the way they were, and instead of risking a valuable planet that could host life being destroyed beyond repair, they would simply flatten major settlements and reset them to see whether they would grow from this experience or perish altogether.

Ironically, in reality, this was actually voted against in the end due to humans not having encountered extraterrestrial life yet and the promising scientific progression, but one race, fairly similar to humans themselves in nature (though not in looks), decided it would be for the better, carrying out the invasion on their own accord. While they weren't completely erased themselves, most of the higher-ranking beings from that planet were executed. This, however, is not common knowledge, as the representatives did cover it up in order to avoid other races being encouraged to disobey.)

While the race of Xenians does have values pertaining to open-mindedness and equality, they are fairly limited in nature. They do allow for sexual and romantic expression (on the lower tiers, mostly), but you can never, ever have the same standing as someone born with a higher tier purpose.

This means that even if you end up exceeding your calculated base intelligence by a lot, you will still be stuck in a purpose that isn't for you and have no chance of changing it.

Ironically, while a social hierarchy does exist, lower tiers are usually considered happier and have far more freedom than higher tiers. Because, again, they get stripped of all individuality to become mindless little researchers.

I purposely didn't specify Xyon's values in this case because, as you can imagine, being forced into a certain mindset does mean he has the same values as the collective, though it does change over time, with him expressing that while he does still support the tiers and purpose, he wishes it was less strict.

Family and Social Circle:

Xyon does actually have a family; he wasn't raised in a mating group. Unlike humans, Xenians don't have a close bond with their parents or siblings since they aren't fully raised by them but rather taken away early in life (around 4–7 in human years) to be trained for their purpose, which results in rather shallow bonds.

His father's purpose is to nurse and educate young Xenians that have either lost their parents or were abandoned, while his mother is the leader of their local tribe, which one can become regardless of tier, following an election process similar to that on earth.

Xyon does have irregular contact with them and even occasionally visits them while on Xen'jai, which is incredibly rare.

He had one older brother, who became a soldier and died very early on due to conflict between Xen'jai and their neighboring planet.

Xyon did have one friend, the female biologist Xuan, who was his assigned research partner.

Due to the nature of their work and purpose, social circles for their tier are small, if they exist at all.

This actually affects Xyon greatly. Now that his old partner is gone, he is alone on a foreign planet, and with Xenians being social creatures, it does make him feel lonely.

On several occasions, he has actually tried seeking out other research teams from his planet that were sent to Earth, and he briefly had contact with a male geologist named Xenon, who ended up being killed, or at least that's Xyon's assumption when his signal completely disappeared (hint hint nudge nudge, he is the other one I like writing about, and he is in fact not dead).

There is one more Xenian that Xyon is aware of on earth: a female meteorologist. He does not know her name; however, he has responded to several distress signals relating to her losing her bio-gel rations to humans.

Unfortunately, she was too far away for him to actually help (she is a character I want to write about in the future as well o(〃＾▽＾〃)o ).

Well, technically speaking, Xyon (and at some point Xuan), like any other research pair, does have a ship, but being the rule-following Xenian he is, he did not leave his assigned area (which is roughly central Europe in canon btw), though he briefly considered it until getting confirmation that the situation had sorted itself out.

It is likely due to this that he even considered helping you in the first place, because he was lonely and probably hoping deep down that a human could somehow keep him company.

Which... I mean... it worked out in his favor. Good for him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Yeesh, this is quite a lot.

Can you believe I still left stuff out? I also ended up dumping more lore for the species itself. I promise one day I'll go back and rewrite both the Species info and probably this one as well. I kind of want to write another big info-dump for Xen'jai as a planet, because there's a lot I want to get into, like the hierarchy, religion, history and evolution of the planet, which felt too out of place here.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to always reach out for more info or suggestions, I am literally just waiting to write more lore no one really can do anything with. :3

[ajxrn-archive]

Random Paimon theory, I've been thinking about genshin lore a lot so why not post this? I need to look further into lore as someone wanting to be a lore player, and don't know too deep lore regarding the gods and stuff atm so forgive any mistakes.

Long theory ramble underneath the cut!

I just watched a YouTube video mentioning the meaning behind the triquetra in genshin. Normally, it stands for a trinity of something, often the holy trinity. The guy mentioned the moon sisters theory, but I’m setting that one aside because I don’t know about the moon sisters and seelie story very well and the theory doesn’t hold as well imo.

On paimons outfit, there is a reverse triquetra. This usually signifies the opposite of whatever the normal triquetra means. The guy in the video mentions that we don’t know what the triquetra in this case would be, unless we look at the Genius invokation TCG game. There seems to be something called an Omni-element, which uses the symbol of the triquetra on it. It’s a combination of all elements, and is meant to be a sort of “light” element in genshin.

So if the triquetra stands for light in genshin, what would the opposite of that be? Darkness, or, the abyss. This ties into my own observation I made about Paimon. Now we all think she has ties to the heavenly principles & unknown god (asmoday), but what if Paimon isn’t a light being from celestia? What if she has closer ties to the abyss? So how does this hold up?

First, her name. Paimon. Paimon was a demon king who had close ties to Lucifer. Why would she have a demon name? The archons as well as the unknown god (asmoday sounds like asmodeus) have demon like names as well, which makes it even more compelling.

(^taken from Wikipedia)

Now let’s look at Paimon’s eyes. We all know what the abyss looks like now, having seen it various times. Why do Paimon’s eyes look eerily similar to the abyss? Why does nobody talk about that, actually? It’s really intriguing. She definitely has something going on and I’m curious about it. What conflicts this theory is the fact Paimon looks insanely similar to the unknown god as well. She definitely has ties to celestia, but why the abyss symbolism? Was she banished? Perhaps she sinned?

I haven’t ever seen anyone mention this and I think it’s really cool :( Paimons eyes look eerily similar to the abyss and it makes me question a lot of stuff, hence this theory post in the first place.

Another addition to this is Mona’s voiceline about Paimon, stating how she just can’t get any information about her, just like how Mona can’t get information about traveler, but this is because they aren’t from teyvat. However, Paimon IS from Teyvat, as her memories were wiped by Irminsul like everyone else’s during the Sumeru quests. 

(It sort of leads me to think something similar is going on with the Abyss sibling, since they apparently are from Teyvat, despite actually being an outsider, making them not be one of the descenders?)

Oh you know what’s weirder? The Chinese name for Genshin: 原神 (Yuán shén) means original god, like I mentioned earlier. However, if you flip the characters with eachother, it’s spelt: 神原 (Shén yuán) which HAPPENS to mean abyss in Chinese? Interesting…

Something is definitely going on with Paimon and I am really interested in finding out. Honestly, I really hate the Paimon = unknown god theory, but I do believe Paimon has a connection to her or is maybe a former god/deity herself? Especially because of the whole “original god” and “abyss” name thing, which sort of ties into genshins logo having Paimons circlet/halo on it. (Which could just be because she’s the mascot but shh let me have this)

anyways! What do you guys think? (Please be nice about this Ive only been playing since April last year and idk too much in-depth lore stuff!! This is just a fun theory I thought over. A GAME THEORY)

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 20 - My Friend Bashi (Part 1)

We had reached the milestone of 20 episodes, and I want to sincerely thank the readers for sticking with me so far. :)

I also have a small announcement: after finishing liveblogging this episode, I will take a very small break from the show to do some reading of articles and comics instead.

It's starting to feel awkward - constantly referencing some canon materials without reviewing them on this blog proper, y'know? I originally planned to do this all at once, before the movie, but I think it'll be more fun to do it in multiple reading breaks, during the show.

So many kids in this city, and Joris is friends with none of them. Except for Tatak.

All analysis and plot leaves my body as I think about how much Kerubim cares about Joris.

He's really not perfect, but no matter how much I joke about his failures, he really does care and try his best.

He's too nice for me to actually make fun of in any serious manner.

It's very nice to see the more down-low, bittersweet moments of parenting and childhood portrayed. It's also nice that it's just between the two of them, without Simone.

I love her, but it's very cute to see just Joris and Kerubim, and how they act when they're alone together.

I think that it's interesting, that even at 7yo, Joris is already at the... "this one social interaction was a disaster, and it's over, just irredeemably over"-level overthinking about relationships.

Perhaps it's knowing that for Kerubim it, often times, was like that. Kerubim did inspire very many people to either hate him with passion, or leave him.

Perhaps it's the fact that, besides Kerubim, Kerubim's friends, and Simone, he doesn't have a family; and besides Tatak, he doesn't seem to have any friends: and that makes him struggle with the idea of losing relationships.

Keke I will be real, I think Tatak is his only friend in general.

...Man. I am making myself sad by writing these things.

I don't think Joris ever had good social skills in his life. Just issues after issues.

As I've said in the previous posts, both Keke and Joris have an issue with needing to be liked always all the time, and the way it makes them do things to seem Cool and Awesome. Even if Joris has this issue in a very introverted way.

It might just be normal kids stuff, but it does add a certain flair to the things we see him do as an adult, if one accepts the idea he's always been like this.

Kerubim's way of connecting to others is to draw from his own experiences, and compare them. It's a more... mature way of cheering up people, than just saying "it gets easier!" like he used to.

For all his faults, Kerubim has grown emotionally from his youth. But it can be a thin line between making everything about yourself, and trying to say that it gets better from experience.

Even so, Joris cares a lot about his experiences and life (cough cough. the Lore), so it works for them, both as a way to distract him and to cheer him up. Kerubim knows this, it's his go-to technique.

Anyway.

I think Kerubim either vastly overestimates the depth of what happened here (I highly doubt Ecaflip is giving him tasks because he's "the best"), or he is lying to Joris, because "I spent my whole childhood afraid that my father, who is a living god, would eat me Zeus-style, because of shit like cleaning the toilets badly or not delivering the fish on time." isn't a nice story.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

A small aside: according to The Wheel Of Destiny #8 Kerubim Crepin (which will be one of the things I liveblog during the Reading Break), Bashi and Kerubim became friends before the events of episode 3, Strich Hunt.

It makes a lot of sense, because before the events of that episode, Ecaflip had... a very rough way of treating and speaking to Kerubim. Even if he had a soft spot for him, enough to save him (and then manipulate him) during said Wheel of Destiny article, I think Kerubim only truly cemented himself as Ecaflip's most favourite in the Strich Hunt episode.

Also, considering the fact that in Wheel of Destiny, little Bashi reports to knowing and strongly disliking Atcham, it's safe to say that in this episode we have a confirmed instance of Atcham being canonically present and simply not mentioned.

...keke sure is the guy who says "im the last living crepin. laugh" while having a brother. insane.

I yet again want to gush about the portrayal of relationships in this show.

I think all of us can relate to meeting someone, and not thinking much, — not yet knowing that they will turn out to be one of the coolest people you've ever met.

Anyway, tangent incoming.

One thing that's interesting to me, is that Kerubim is never depicted as having friends in the temple. From what we see, he spends most of the time alone, or with Ecaflip.

The reasons may be:

He is Ecaflip's favorite. He had important tasks from the moment he joined the temple. It alienated people.

He was Atcham's brother. Kids are judgemental, and Atcham is a perfect bullying target. Chances are, they didn't like him due to the association.

He came in very mentally ill and unsociable, due to, y'know, being orphaned, and never managed to make friends because the impression that he's "the sad mentally ill kid" stayed.

No wonder that he got anxious around three people, and then immediately trusted them when they were nice to him.

He probably hadn't had anyone be nice to him in ages. Or, like, acknowledge him too much, at the very least.

I won't elaborate on how I think Atcham was treated in the temple lest I fucking scare you, (Something-something, literally catboy Rule of Rose,) but I will say that, just like Atcham is still violently mentally ill due to whatever happened to him, Kerubim's experiences with loneliness and alienation as a child most likely fueled his dishonesty and attention-seeking behaviours as an adult.

So I understand why, even though Bashi kinda sucks, Kerubim is so broken up about losing him. There's a lot more tragedy to this than one can first see.

It was a very important moment for Kerubim to finally have a person in his life that wasn't his father (who constantly threatened to fucking eat him), one of the kids who either disliked him or were too intimidated to talk to him, one of the random monks, or his severely mentally ill brother (who fucking hated him.)

He was his first friend.

[arsenicflame]

✨, 🎥, 💕, and 🏳️‍🌈 for OFMD and Madoka?

ahhh Iz! so many, thank you so muchhhhh

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

for OFMD: i love the characters!!!!!! all of themmmm. their dynamics are probably the most interesting thing for me. i also love the setting & playing around with more serious sailing stuff, and also into the areas that make this group special. i think fundamentally, the show is such a good sandbox to play around with, what could happen, why, etc etc. i love adding little pockets of lore (i think this is why im so drawn to Sam Bellamy stuff, its adding more to the universe & to izzy and layers of depth that werent there before, even if hes completely part of the past). especially after s1 and kraken era speculation, it was all the what ifs and maybes that drew me in.

for PMMM: this is a hard one! i first watched madoka back when it came out in 2011 so its really hard for me to imagine a life where its not important to me. i think the thing for me about madoka magica, is that its about hope. it so often gets sold as a dark magical girl anime, but at its core, madoka is about looking despair in the face, and choosing hope anyway. its about finding a way through even when it seems impossible. ive always been drawn to that. and the interpersonal dynamics- im big into the different story manga, which adds so much depth to kyoko & mamis characters & their relationships.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

for OFMD: ive already mentioned one, so again, that, but a second one: the new unicorn scene. its both the complete opposite to the other, and its twin, and it means so much to me. its really first time we see izzy released from his duties, as first mate, to ed, this is just izzy. and its the first time we properly see him accepted by the crew. i dont really know how to put into words what this scene means to me, but i think you understand anyway. i cried. thats my fucking boy!!!!!!!!!!

for PMMM: i think most of my favourite scenes are from the manga (again, TDS fan) but out of the anime, i think its probably the fight against Elsa Maria- its stylised in a gorgeous way, the animation and movement is artistic and gorgeous. and, its the first moment where you really start to feel dread. the first moment you realise that something awful is coming. its beautiful artistically and narratively

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

for OFMD: skipping right over the obvious, because ive dedicated my life to the fuckin guy, archie!!!!!!! my sweet love!!!! urgh shes ao delightful, one of the best things to come out of season 2 forreal. i dont think theres a single scene with archie i dont like, i love her stupid little quips and her pragmatism about everything. thats just the way things go, we fight to the death. pointing out that the guys on top do get away with it. idk, theres just not a single thing i dont love. its also so nice to introduce someone not of the revenge mindset, but also not as messed up over things as fang & izzy. she just fills her role perfectly. so fun to see a "normal" pirate. i love her i would do anything for her

for PMMM: i am, in my heart of hearts, a kyoko girly. my first love, the original. i think loving kyoko set me on the path to love izzy too. shes the underdog, she comes in as the villain of the story, till you start to dig into her character and understand why she feels the way she does about things. even if you disagree, its a different perspective on her. shes teeth and claws and knows nothing but fighting to survive. i love her backstory and her attitude to the truth of their life, and i love her stupid little quips. yes girl it is reasonable to break a guys legs to get him to date

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

for OFMD: as i said earlier, im pretty flexible on most headcanons, usually working whichever fits in to the particular idea im thinking about, but trans izzy is pretty consistently up there. its one of those things that i think adds a lot of flavour to his actions in canon, and also adds backstory to him and why he might be who we meet in canon in the first place. also making characters trans fucks and should always be done 👍

for PMMM: everyone is gay. including hitomi. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

media hyperfixation ask game!

[irishseaweed]

FALLOUT 4 COMPANION SPOILERS

(And some small lore spoilers)

Anyway, I am a whore. As such, and since Fallout 4 has no negative repercussions for doing so, I have romanced (basically) every romanceable companion in Fallout 4. I have a lot of opinions. I will be ranking the romanceable companions here, with short reasons as to why they've been ranked as such. A follow-up post will include my little fashion makeovers for said companions.

Honorable Mention : Magnolia (one-night stand only, the game doesn't allow more than that. I actually finished romancing Piper *immediately* after leaving Magnolia's room the morning after, funny enough. But still, an interesting side character voiced by the original live action Wonder Woman, what's not to like?)

Disqualification : Paladin Danse (requires siding with the Brotherhood of Steel and FUCK those assholes straight to hell Im not doing that)

NOW THEN :

1. Curie. The second to last companion I romanced, but my favorite. Her storyline about learning to grapple with synth/human emotions and survival needs, experiencing the Wasteland for the first time, and growing into her own person is great. Plus, you get multiple dialogues that include Flirting options- and unlike other companions, each of those dialogue sections includes TWO flirting opportunities rather than just one. Flirting with Curie also makes her adorably flustered. She's also super polite to the other companions, and the Combat Medic perk can save your life in a pinch. Normally I find a french accent slightly obnoxious, but for her it sounds nice.

2. Hancock, mayor of Goodneighbor, the second companion I romanced. Compelling character, great default outfit, enables chaos and chems, solid backup with his shotgun, fun dialogue all around (and that voice tho)... you can't really go wrong with Hancock. The Isodoped perk only adds to the benefits of not using radiation protection in the Glowing Sea, pair with the Ghoulish perk to embrace the nuclear waste.

3. Piper, the first companion I romanced. Her drive for investigation and truth-seeking is inspiring, she's compassionate, she has that little nickname "Blue" for the player-character, she helps you get connected to important characters like Nick Valentine, she gives you sweet rolls... just all-around a really positive presence in a wasteland full of cynics and nihilists. With a highly Charisma-based build, ESPECIALLY in early-game, her Gift of Gab xp boost perk was phenomenal.

3 (yes its a tie). Cait, my third romance. Her tragic backstory and struggle with addiction make for an extreme level of character depth some companions just can't keep up with. Plus, a little spiteful violent fun now and then keeps things interesting. Enabled some of my more questionable decisions, like doping up and melee-brawling a behemoth to death. I like the level of detail that her likes and dislikes around drugs and alcohol shift after her quest. The Trigger Rush perk can be a lifesaver if you're struggling at the end of a close fight.

4. Macready, the fourth companion I romanced, migrant from Fallout 3's Capital Wasteland. Good for ammo in a pinch, didn't mind my occasional thievery, but he's got some flaws. I didn't even know for sure his wife was out of the picture until the conversation where I actively finished Romancing him, and having him galavant around with me while his sick (though waiting to be cured thanks to me) son was god knows where with no family to watch him makes me feel a little guilty. His Killshot perk combined with the railroad Deliverer makes stealthy assassinations much easier, though.

5. Preston "Another Settlement" Garvey. Fuck you Preston Garvey. The last character I romanced and by far the worst. You only flirt with him once before fully romancing him, and he responds with all the passion of a wooden 2x4. Even his Romance dialogue is mostly about how he used to want to kill himself which is just trauma dumping out of nowhere to desperately try to give Garvey any depth at all. Hell, every other companion has a Thoughts dialogue option and a Relationship check-in dialogue option, but PRESTON has "Chat" instead of "Thought" and it uses the same stock few lines as if you choose "Relationship" instead. Plus having him as a companion makes talking to him to complete and receive Settlement quests that much more difficult because sometimes he just won't do those conversations. I hate him. I am going to keep him in Sanctuary to keep an eye on him, but he will not be stationed in the area where the rest of the romanced companions are. He does not deserve a seat at the table, a place in the bed. BUT his unique perk is handy when fighting large groups, so romancing him wasn't a *total* waste of time. Plus, he was by far the fastest to romance, so at least I got it over with quickly. Do like 8 or 9 of those little five-minute settlement quests and he'll be begging to fuck.

[supernutellastuff]

I posted 315 times in 2022

7 posts created (2%)

308 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@taralkariel

@xue-mei

@leafy-m

@missmorwen

@austennerdita2533

I tagged 204 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#me irl - 23 posts

#buckynat - 14 posts

#klaroline - 10 posts

#fanart - 8 posts

#i love tumblr - 8 posts

#politics - 7 posts

#mcu - 7 posts

#seriously - 6 posts

#just human things - 6 posts

#art - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#the scariest point was about not being able to digest my favourite food sometime in the future

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Tag game!

Tagged by the amazing @diaz-eddie

Favourite colour - funny because I recently had a very in depth discussion about this with a friend, but anything in the blue-green family

Currently reading - I'm rereading The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel in preparation for her new novel The Sea of Tranquility (btw her Station Eleven remains one of my fav all timers, esp during the pandemic)

Sweet/salty/spicy/bitter/sour - spicy any day, though I do like sour as well

Last song - 2 AM by Lykke Li & Mark Ronson, also Nothing Breaks like a Heart by Miley Cyrus & Mark Ronson (these songs hit them feels like nothing else)

Last movie - Everything everywhere all at once (such an original movie)

Currently working on - it's supposed to be the second chapter of my Picturesque prequel but alas I have a presentation for work 😭

Tagging @recyclingss @xue-mei @mallosoar @taralkariel @missmorwen @highgaarden and anyone else who wants to play!

10 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#4

Ok so I’m in early season 4. I’ve always really liked Bonnie, but she never gets anything to do and when she does it’s always just “here’s a random guy for you to have a relationship with and that will be your story for a while” (her and Jeremy 🤮) and it’s never interesting (although I wouldn’t mind if they went anywhere at all with her and Damon tbh).

I also very much like Damon, by far the better brother. I really don’t care about anything Elena-related anymore and I think it’s mostly because they’ve played everything out with her several times through already. Also sorry to Nina Dobrev but she’s not a great actor and I’ve kinda had it with the character by now. The less said about Stefan the better. Jeremy and Tyler too.

Now that I’m several seasons in though it really is feeling like they’re stretching for content. The world and season threats got too big and they have no idea how to stop the power creep so they just keep adding stuff that totally breaks established lore. One of the things I love about Caroline is how well she grounded the story (sure she’s a vampire but she’s also still really into regular high school drama and trying to be a normal person still).

(Also sorry for sending anon before. I didn’t realize I’d clicked that until it had sent)

Hello!! It's been a long time since I watched the show so I apologise in advance for any inadvertent spoilers or vague plot recall.

Okay so Bonnie has legit been done the dirtiest even though she's one of the coolest characters. I like some of her plot lines where her witch roots means she's actively opposed to the vampires but she still wants to be on Elena's side, the conflict could have been interesting but it's never mined deeper. I hate her and Jeremy too and I agree that she and Damon have some legit chemistry (explored in further seasons, so you do have something to look forward to!)

Yeah Elena is annoying, and I got tired quickly about how everything was always about her. I'm not sure if I prefer Damon over Stefan, but Stelena is defs more boring. I prefer Stefan as a stand alone character or his friendship dynamic with Lexi, Caroline etc (more on this later).

I agree with you that the world building gets bigger than the writers can handle, but I really enjoyed the cure storyline in s4. I'm in the minority, but I really liked how there are all these factions with their own agendas competing to get the cure, and well, i always like it when the Originals have to team up with the Mystic Falls gang.

Talking about the Originals, I think they're the best thing the show has ever done. The casting, the acting, the group dynamics, the lore, the integration with the core tvd group... Perfection. What do you think? Who's your favourite Original?

Yes, Caroline is such a breath of fresh air in the show. I absolutely love how she's one of the few characters who actually LOVES being a vampire. I related to her even before she turned, when she was talking about being second choice "no matter how much I do, its never enough". She's thriving as a vampire as well as retaining her connection to her human side, without any of the angsty brooding that Stefan and all do. One of the reasons I love Klaroline is that Klaus is the ONLY one who recognises this, that she wants a life bigger and better than this. He accepts her as she is, and I just looove how much he changes throughout the course of knowing her, how he consistently puts her first. Sigh. I can go on and on about Klaroline. They have such epic moments, my god. What have been your favourite scenes??

10 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#3

[bernie sanders voice] I am once again asking for more of Chronicles

Aaaahhh Hahaha! I will always always appreciate your constant cheerleading for Chronicle 💜 unfortunately I don't have any plans to continue the story, it had a natural end. What I *am* working on rn is the Klaus POV prequel to Picturesque! You might be interested in that :) anyway, thanks for this message and can I just tell you (again) how much joy your fics and writing have given me??? 🥺

12 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

running like water - a Zutara oneshot

AU Post-finale, that time when an assassin crashes Zuko's 18th birthday. Luckily he has a master waterbender by his side. Ft. a badass Katara, Fire Nation political intrigue, and Bloodbending as flirting.

(Realised I'd written this years ago but never posted. Hopefully this gives me some much-needed inspiration while I muddle through my WIPs. Happy reading!)

link on ao3

Or read below!

It’s Zuko’s 18th birthday and he is nowhere to be found. By all accounts, he’d made an appearance at the Royal Ball for a respectable amount of time and then disappeared into thin air. Katara hurries across the halls of the palace, one hand gathering the skirts of her formal gown, her heels clicking on the marble floor. The palace staff haven’t seen him either—he wasn’t in his bedchambers, nor in the library, and she’d even checked under the willow tree next to the turtleduck pond. Katara fumes, her annoyance rising. She’s laboured over his gift for days, the least he could do is not get kidnapped or whatever.

It’s nearing midnight and Katara is about to contemplate hiring the services of Jun and her shirshu when she remembers the one place she hadn’t yet searched: the rooftop. While the rooftop was largely inaccessible, owing to its steep pagoda architecture, there was a flat alcove, hidden to the public, that opened up to the sky. Zuko had shown it to her a while ago when he was making plans for renovation, but it was dirty and in disrepair then, which is why it had slipped her mind.

The entrance to the roof is hidden behind a tapestry, a rather heavy, ugly thing the colour of blood. Katara twitches the tapestry aside and slips behind it. A narrow spiral staircase stands in front of her, illuminated by a hanging dusty lantern. Clutching the wrought iron railings, she begins the dizzying climb. An unexpected sight greets her at the top.

The place has been transformed into a charming rooftop garden. Vines climb the walls and trail down the parapet. Rows of potted herbs are flanked by beds of exotic flowers, the spicy and sweet scents intermingling in interesting ways. Fat beeswax candles stuck on iron stands are placed strategically in recesses, giving the entire garden a low, atmospheric lighting. And lounging on a profusion of cushions, eyes shut, his top knot undone, is Zuko.

“Took you long enough,” he says lazily, cranking one eye open.

“Happy Birthday,” Katara snaps, flinging the wrapped parcel at his stomach with a little too much force.

Zuko straightens immediately. “What is this?”

“Your present, dummy. I’ve been running around everywhere looking for you.”

He frowns. “Didn’t Oromi deliver you the message?”

“What message?” she asks, sinking into a cushion beside him.

“He must have misplaced the note again.” Oromi was the new palace gardener, a country lad, kind-hearted but rather forgetful. He was a magician at his work, though—he could make the stubbornest of saplings sprout and the most exotic flowers bloom under his care, almost like he was bending them. This little rooftop garden seems to be his doing. “I wrote you a message asking you to meet me here. I could not stand all those dreadful festivities.”

“Yes, yes what a bore having people throwing grand parties in your honour.”

A sheepish smile spread across his face. “I appreciate it all, I really do.”

“The royal cooks roasted an entire hippo-ox in your honour.”

“And I savoured every bite of it…but it exhausts me, having to put on this stern, aloof, regal front.” He does look exhausted, there are lines around his eyes that have no business being there. He also looks older; the planes of his face have sharpened and there’s stubble on his face on days he has no official business. “I hate pretending to be someone I’m not, especially on my birthday, when I’d rather spend time with the people I like.” His eyes flicker to her and her stomach flips.

Clearing her throat, Katara gestures to the package lying in his lap. “Open your gift.”

Zuko picks up the gift, examining it from every angle. Katara watches him carefully as his deft fingers unwrap the parcel, untying the strings and peeling off the layers. Nestled in the folds is a stack of small, unassuming-looking, semi-circular cakes.

“It’s a mooncake,” says Katara hurriedly. “A traditional Water Tribe recipe. Probably not a very special gift but my mom used to make them for birthdays-”

Zuko is already digging into the stack. He takes a bite, makes a sound of appreciation, and polishes off the whole cake. “Is there fruit jam inside?!” he asks in delight, mouth full. He offers a cake to her and picks another for himself.

“Yes!” She grins. “Salmonberry jam. I spent days in the palace kitchen, trying to get the thickness of the filling right. It needs to be the right amount of oozy…”

The words die on her tongue. Zuko is licking the jam off his fingers. She puts down her cake, suddenly very flustered.

Zuko looks up as she falls silent. Their eyes meet and the moment holds still. They’ve been dancing around each other for the past two years, longer than that, if she’s honest. Lingering looks, not-so-accidental touches, charged banter…she’s been noticing it more in their interactions lately, whether it’s quiet picnics beside the turtleduck pond or heated fights during state meetings. And now this connection, whatever it may be, is threatening to make itself known in very real ways. Katara has half a mind to brush off the moment with a flippant remark.

It’s Zuko who breaks the silence. “You look beautiful, by the way,” he comments. She’s wearing a traditional Fire Nation gown, richly embroidered in threads of red and gold, but her hair—

“Your hair is braided Water Tribe style. It looks good on you.”

She smiles, fighting off a blush. “Thank you.”

See the full post

29 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Longing - a Picturesque prequel (Klaroline fanfiction)

Hellooo, the Picturesque prequel from Klaus's POV is finally here!

Longing

Summary: Klaus likes his life, mostly. He has his own flat in New York City, a great group of friends, a budding career as an artist, but as he's navigating all the ups and downs the city throws at him, he realises that he's longing for something more. Or rather, someone.

[The long-awaited prequel to Picturesque! As promised, this is from Klaus's POV and tells the story of how in the process of figuring out who he wants to be, he's more and more drawn towards Caroline. Too bad she doesn't think of him as anything other than a friend...]

I cannot believe how long this took! Writing from Klaus's POV was challenging, and I felt like my writing style had changed in the years since I wrote Picturesque. Anyway, here's my labour of love, hope you like it! This will be a two-parter, the second chapter will be up next week. To new readers, this is a prequel to Picturesque so PLEASE read that fic before this! You'll enjoy this fic better *after* reading Picturesque. While chronologically/plot-wise Longing comes first, I feel like from the progression of my writing style and the work I've put in the characterisations, it makes more sense to read Longing after Picturesque. Also, if you're a familiar reader, I'd still suggest you read Picturesque, just to brush up (I've made some slight edits for continuity, especially in the last chapter)

For @recyclingss who's always been such a tireless cheerleader <3

Read Longing here - https://archiveofourown.org/works/38565495

33 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dearestaeneas]

resisting the temptation to ask you every one of the questions from the writer ask game and instead asking: 2, 3, 7, 13 (i'm guessing i know the answer to this but consider this an open invitation to share some fun lore), 26, 29, 30

kicking my feet and writing your name in hearts all over my dream journal

2) my two newest ocs are Matt + Justin! i was working on a thing for a zine i want to submit to, and the theme was 70s/80s/90s campy horror, so i picked just two lame ass 90s boy names. it's a silly little queer slasher story that i didn't expect to go so in-depth on!

3) uhhhhhh. my biggest self insert is probably that John Dearheart character i post little blurbs about sometimes. i realized i'm probably gonna need to change his name if i post more about him, though, because i completely forgot he's a Discworld character. i've been rereading Going Postal lately and while i was waiting for the library loan to come in i was scrolling through its tumblr tag and got whiplash seeing his name. it is deeply humbling thinking you had an original name and not only seeing its an already-established character, but an already-established character from a BOOK YOU'VE READ BEFORE. outside of him as my vent character, i put myself into all my characters! i'm very vain! Branwen and Ardan are my two biggest ones from hh, and lately its been Branwen more just for the sake of story themes :3

7) Celeste and the Old God is actually one of my favorite pairs to write about, and it's wild to me that i don't have them interact more. i think what really gets me about them is that Celeste's entire deal is that she's...normal. she has a "normal," healthy relationship with religion, and criticizing it is included in that, i think. and for that reason, those two are the closest to being equals. having one character be a devout believer/her religious trauma being something you actively get to see be established throughout the story (branwen) v. another character who's extremely cynical to the point of numbness who doesn't believe in anything (ardan), and in a context where branwen is genuinely helpless vs. ardan having more control than he realizes/freaks him out when he does realize it, it's so fun to write Celeste as being on equal playing ground. it's important to me that her entire deal is "actually no fuck you, you need me just as much as i need you." and i think that equal playing ground is why they have kind of a begrudging friendship.

i also like writing branwen and ardan together because they are bisexual.

13) not really any of them i don't do that kind of stuff<3*

26) American Gods!!! And Slaughterhouse Five. those are the two i always automatically say when asked! i read If We Were Villains sometime last year and it rewired my brain, also. i found it because of The Secret History, which also rewired my brain. Both of those books fundamentally changed my brain chemistry, but secret history did it derogatorily, if that makes sense. great book. i never think i have feelings about it until i start talking about it. Donna Tartt i am nearing your location. (also Piranesi!<3)

29) probably Harry Potter? unfortunately? (also, sucks that i have to say 'unfortunately'. like most people, those stupid books were very important to me at one point in my life! mostly because of the stuff i did with my friends because of it! go fuck yourself, Joanne!) i deffo wrote fanfic, though. i had a huuuuge fic i handwrote with a bunch of my friends

not my first fandom, but i thought you'd appreciate: i was also a huge percy jackson kid. obviously. probably more so than harry potter. i took latin in middle school, and one year we had this pretty big multi-part project where we could pick different prompts for different parts. super cool and fun, had i been the person i am now who actually like, cares about things and puts effort into them! but i suffered from the disease of all middle schoolers where i Fucking Sucked. i didn't realize one of my parts was due one day, and during the lunch period i speed-wrote percy jackson fanfiction that i had to Read Out Loud To The Class and then hand in for a grade. i got a 100, but only after reading it out loud, having what i believe was my first out of body experience, and then going back to my seat where one of my friends leaned over and said "was that the fucking plot of Mark of Athena"

30) good!!!! we're actively getting a snowstorm and i'm hoping it keeps up so work is cancelled tomorrow! who knows how lucky i'll be but i can hope!!

*if i was normal i could have left 13 at that and just let myself be funny, but i am nothing if not verbose. obviously hh! in taking up your offer to share fun lore, there's one character who i have been avoiding talking about because i think everything about him is so integral to the plot that like, making goofs about him would be a spoiler (is that...full of myself to say? it would be, though). that said, since the idea of "equals" is so relevant throughout hh, he's been fun to write because he technically falls on the Celeste end of the spectrum, but he's using it for evil. literally. a lot of his deal is unintentionally "what makes a god a god" and how he's this sort of nebulous figure because no one can agree what his deal is. he is accidentally my Odysseus character, and it kills me to admit that. little pansexual freak who wants to kill god.

[azumasoroshi]

going fucking insane over one of my wips because it's for a really small subgroup of a really small fandom of a really small fandom of a really big fandom that everyone fucking hates because people are cancelled like every other week and basically i cant talk about it with anyone without needing to explain like 60 pages worth of story that I wrote PLUS no one wants to talk about me because it's one of the cringiest ships in existence that sounds HORRENDOUSLY heteronormative on paper and like half the fandom calls them siblings even though they have been confirmed multiple times not to be and the other half is like oh the girl would never be in love with the guy because she's in love with the player!! as if being in love with her ideal of the player is healthy for her all and can't change or she can't fall out of love with someone whose interactions were limited to basically just looking at her, clicking through her text and DELETING HER

yeah so is about monipai as in monika from ddlc and senpai from friday fucking night funkin (i know. im sorry) im so down horrendous im on like seventeen doses of copium and counting and there's 11 total monipai works on ao3

one of them is mine and the other ones are either written by a 10 year old (because it's fucking fnf, what sane adult would write unironic fnf fanfiction) or unfinished (because fnf fics get no traction and unless you're fucking insane like me and have 60 pages of pure brainrot there is NOTHING keeping you going for such a nonexistent audience) and oh my god why am i here

the other fandoms ive been in recently are vashwood and shizaya and those are great!! those are normal!! vashwood has been getting boatloads of content that i cant stop looking at/reading and im getting fun ideas for aus and there's so many people in the community rn to interact with

and shizaya is a bit of struggle because the fandom is smaller but there's so much older content to go through/reread that it's fine and my posts about them get some traction and in some places you can actually talk to people who have been in the fandom from the beginning of time and overall it's a good fun time

AND THEN THERE'S MONIPAI. the ONE straight (bi4bi according to me and im always right) ship in fnf that no one likes because they're "sibling coded" for some god forsaken reason (and im usually all for sibling headcanons/prefer them over romantic ones but NOT THIS ONE SENPAI LITERALLY CONFESSED HIS LOVE FOR HER IN THE MOD) and it'll only make sense to people who like DDTO enough to not forget about it after playing like 19832529 other mods and even THEN like half of them ship it in the really cringe heteronormative way that dudebros ship them like GOD FUCKING HELL GET ME OUT OF HERE

ive never been madder about anything ive shipped ever. i LOVE getting comments on my fic and im surprised ive gotten any at all but holy shit

you know that one person who made like 3000 fics for their honeyworks throuple. honey i feel you cuz what the fuck is this

and with my usual ships i can send them to my friends who know what to expect and be like ok so these are the gayasses you're obsessed with this week but with this one. like the very premise is so ridiculous id be laughed out of their dms but this is literally like the most in-depth and serious ive gotten about any of my fanfiction plots ever (there's like themes and callbacks and motifs and everything, thats how you know it's bad). this is probably better written than my book drafts and it makes me SO MAD

ive even considered like. what if i just made them my ocs, since i've developed them so much and the plot is entirely my own creation. that might even be easier but the fic is so heavily based off of canon content that it just wouldntd make SENSE how am i supposed to rewrite all that canon lore when i take them out of it. i cant. im stuck tying them to ddtoverse

back to what i was originally talking about: basically i got this really nice comment on ao3 on my monipai fic and i was smiling really hard and spinning in my chair and i was inspired to try and write again so i update my. oh it's 71 pages. 71 page document to try and update chapter 3 and i end up going to my other ideas and workshopping them and suddenly ive penned down ideas for 4 DIFFERENT CLIMAXES?????????? AND THEY ALL HAVE THEIR PROS AND CONS AND THEY ALL BASICALLY LEAD TO THE SAME ENDNIG AND I DONT KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE AND I CANT ASK ANYONE BECAUSE IF THEY'RE INTERESTED ENOUGH TO READ IT I WANT THEM TO READ THE FIC AS IT'S BEING UPDATED BUT NO ONE'S INTERESTED ANYWAY

and trying to ask about which one i should choose while removing all incriminating details (read: monika and senpai's names) is so hard because there's SO much i have to explain as backstory and no one even responds to it anyway so there's no point :sob:

anyway i love monipai and specifically my version of monipai and it's legitmately ruining my life how's your day going

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Hey, Hi, Hello. It's been a hot minute since the last chapter, because my summer got completely lost to illness and recovery, and now it's mid-October and we're literally just now getting back to this reread. I've literally read this chapter like six times trying to get back in the headspace for rereading Tolkien, and uh...yeah. We're here? Mostly? So if the tone or vibe of these last few chapters are a little different, that's because it's been like three months and a bout of shingles later. So here's the original intro, and uh...we'll go from there.

Ok, this chapter went down MUCH easier than the last one, and we got some A+ vibes, some Sam stuff to talk about, and just generally a chapter I enjoyed. So without beating too much about the bush, let's talk "The Mirror of Galadriel."

We are finally in the city of the Galadhrim! And I have got to say, the city comes off WEIRD. Like, really, really weird. Like almost horror movie levels of weird. I'm just going to let the book tell you this bit:

Haldir knocked and spoke, and the gates opened soundlessly; but of guards Frodo could see no sign. The travellers passed within, and the gates shut behind them. They were in a deep lane between the ends of the wall, and passing quickly through it they entered the City of the Trees. No folk could they see, nor hear any feet upon the paths; but there were many voices, about them and in the air above. Far away up on the hill they could hear the sound of singing falling from on high like soft rain upon leaves.

Like...I'm sorry, but a giant, empty city with no sounds BUT voices? Even if this is perfectly normal for elves or if they're just...IDK, hanging out in the unseen world? I'm speaking for the hobbits and Boromir (and probably Gimli?) when I say that this gives CREEPY. It's an empty elven city filled with disembodied voices. I'd lose my damn mind pretty fast.

It gets less creepy when we get to the big ladder and the guards, and climbing the ladder while seeing the talan really does a lot to dispel the creep factor. I appreciate the worldbuilding here, and the diversity of what Galadriel and her people have built. It speaks to every "tree house but make it bougie" instinct that five-year-old me ever had. I suspect this is also how I as a reader am supposed to feel about the weirdly empty city, but...well, as a writer, you win some, you lose some, and I got creep from the city and delight from the bougie tree house. It happens.

Ok, so this is where I come clean and admit that I've been watching season 2 of The Rings of Power, and some reviews--which include some lore stuff. So you'll forgive me if I spend a few minutes here comparing and contrasting Lothlorien-era Galadriel with Amazon's Tolkien fanfic. Tolkien gives us this introduction to the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien:

On two chairs beneath the bole of the tree and canopied by a living bough there sat, side by side, Celeborn and Galadriel. They stood up to greet their guests, after the manner of the Elves, even those who were accounted mighty kings. Very tall they were, and the Lady no less tall than the Lord; and they were grave and beautiful. They were clad wholly in white; and the hair of the Lady was of deep gold, and the hair of the Lord Celeborn was of silver long and bright; but no sign of age was upon them, unless it were in the depth of their eyes; for they were as keen as lances in the starlight and yet profound, the wells of deep memory.

This is...a far cry from the gung-ho battle Barbie that Amazon's fanfic gives us, but at the same time...I can kinda see it? You don't get those wells of deep memory and keen lances without having lived life and seen much of it--good and bad and everything in between. So even without the battle Barbie, Galadriel gives the sense that she's seen some shit and can roll with pretty much anything because she's seen it all before. And once we get to the mirror, that just gets even more cemented, because she's not seeing time necessarily linearly. But the sheer impressiveness of the first impression hits on the page, and I really like that.

I don't have anything for Celeborn, I'm afraid. He has the same description, but I have zero background on him, so other than "He's probably also seen some shit" and "He's married to Galadriel, so he's probably HEARD some shit from that mirror" he's just...kinda there? Basically generic Elf King. Which I'm sure if I had more awareness of the lore would horrify me to say, but we work with the information we have when we have it.

Oh I guess we do get Celeborn's welcome to Gimli:

Welcome Gimli son of Gloin. It is long indeed since we saw one of Durin's folk in Caras Galahon. But today we have broken our long law. May it be a sign that though the world is now dark better days are at hand, and that friendship shall be renewed between our peoples.

I appreciate the attempt, but seriously, renewed friendship doesn't fix the racism and "renewed friendship" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Pretty sure we are gonna need to address the process a little, Celeborn. I know we're about to be at war with Sauron, but like...allyship and friendship are two different things and we might start with allyship here.

And so the fellowship meets the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien and we have to catch everyone up on the deets of the trip so far because mail service in Middle Earth is rather famously sketchy. *Stares in Bree Innkeepers*

Gandalf being missing is a bit of a sticking point, with Celeborn being a bit of a dick to Gimli about waking up a Balrog and to Gandalf for going into Moria at all, but Galadriel cuts that shit off at the pass (Thank you Galadriel for having some goddamn perspective).

I also appreciate that Galadriel is over here going, "I'm not going to stand here and give you unsolicited advice and I'm not going to explain at you. Have some context and hope and go get some rest, kids." Because the Fellowship really needs rest, and they need time to process and grieve. Hauling ass to a safe space is all well and good--as is surviving Moria--but then you need a little time and kindness in that space to process. I also appreciate that Tolkien takes the temperature of the group at this point, with Galadriel giving each member of the fellowship the choice to continue or to turn away. Sam once again gives us the most, along with Gimli, since Frodo and Merry keep their experiences with Galadriel behind their teeth.

Then we spend a little hand-waved time mourning Gandalf and even Frodo and Sam get in on the "write your own lament" action. It's actually really sweet, and I love the contrast between Frodo's perspective and scope and Sam's choice to highlight the happiness of the small things. I mean. If you call a giant firework that becomes a dragon small. Point is, Sam is highlighting happiness and I love that Tolkien gives us this little almost meta-commentary of the difference between memory and memorializing.

Then we finally have Galadriel taking Frodo and--very intentionally--Sam to her mirror, and I just want to take a second to admire the lawyer-level preface she gives and the importance of consent in this scene:

"Many things I can command the Mirror to reveal," she answered, "and to some I can show what they desire to see. But the Mirror will also show things unbidden, and those are often stranger and more profitable than things we wish to behold. What you will see, if you leave the Mirror free to work, I cannot tell. For it shows things that were and things that are, and things that yet may be. But which is it that he sees, even the wisest cannot always tell. Do you wish to look?"

Girl has pretty fully laid out the terms and conditions here, and I appreciate her candor about the "Controlled" or "Uncontrolled" options. Like, given that choice, I'm thinking REALLY hard about whether I want to look at all, and whether I'm up for letting the mirror show me what it will. The other key thing is that she STILL ASKS. This is not a thing Sam and Frodo have to do, there is a consent option. Which would also give me pause in this world, because if the Lady of Lorien looks and me and goes, "This could be epic, but you absolutely have to agree to this," I'd be over here like...There is a dark side here, isn't there?

I appreciate that Sam is over here like, "Well, I asked for magic and here is magic, so I guess I'm in." I appreciate the recognition that magic is awesome in the classical sense; it inspires awe and awe can be a whole-ass spectrum of emotions, not all of them uncomplicated or inherently positive.

And then Sam gets his test, which is REALLY telling. His priorities are simple: Frodo and the Shire. And while Frodo was IN the Shire, that worked beautifully well. But when Frodo has to bail and Sam's old Gaffer is in trouble...well then it gets complicated, and Sam's choice to prioritize Frodo I think absolutely had to be harder than it looks. Because what we get from Sam is...quite brief:

Sam sat on the ground and put his head in his hands. "I wish I had never come here, and I don't want to see no more magic," he said, and fell silent. After a moment, he spoke again thickly, as if struggling with tears. "No, I'll go home by the long road with Mr. Frodo, or not at all," he said. "But I hope I do get back some day. If what I've seen turns out true, somebody's going to catch it hot!"

I adore that we get a little bit of a sense that life won't be ok when they do finally get back to the Shire, but despite the tears and the...well, magic...going out of magic for Sam, this choice is relatively quick and decisive. Frodo will always be Sam's priority, but the sense that he cannot be everywhere and protect everything he loves is a really hard realization, and...I kind of wanted more. I wanted this moment to feel weightier. And I know it's not Tolkien's style, and I know that ultimately the choice is simple and not simple, but...I want to linger here for a moment. I want to take the time to really play with the idea of conflicting priorities and HAVING to make a choice and knowing that such a choice involves sacrifice and knowing that you're choosing to help one thing by abandoning another. I know, I KNOW this isn't Tolkien's style. But we can do literal PAGES on trees, so I feel like more than generously two paragraphs on Sam's choice would be appropriate.

This is just one of those places where I personally as a reader sometimes have trouble meshing with Tolkien's style. I'd like to be in characters' heads a little more than we get to be, and I'd like a little more weight on some of these moments. This is a me thing though, and I know this resonates for lots of readers. Your girl is a Shakespeare scholar for a reason. I want To Be or Not To Be, so "I'll go home by the long road with Mr. Frodo, or not at all" kind of...doesn't do it for me in what is such a key moment.

Frodo's experience with the mirror is a combination of foreseeing Gandalf the White, getting a crash course on the Middle Earth History Relevant to Him Specifically, and finally getting a glimpse of Sauron's eye hunting for him. That's definitely a lot to take in, and we get a really interesting connection between Galadriel and Sauron. They have a one-sided brain connection that is DEEPLY interesting and so of course is not followed up on in this book. We also get Frodo's realization that Galadriel is a ring bearer herself: He can finally see Nenya. (Sam can't, it just looks like a star on on her hand. Which honestly is a really lovely image and I love how it enhances the inherent magic of the elves.)

And Galadriel is over here low-key oversharing about the philosophy of elves and the fact that they're in a no-win scenario: Whether Frodo succeeds or fails, Lothlorien will fade away and the elves will either die in Middle Earth or leave it. Which...is a bit grim, not gonna lie, and were I Frodo, hearing all that and then "For the fate of Lothlorien you are not answerable, but only for the doing of your own task" would not make me feel any less culpable. I, like Frodo, couldn't DO anything but my own task, but again, I differ from this Tolkien-esque philosophy wherein if I hyperfocus on my own task, everything else will take care of itself because I'm a little type A and I need more control than that because SYSTEMS, PEOPLE. Everything is connected. (Again, this is JUST ME. I know this resonates for lots of people, it just doesn't work for me.)

Frodo gets a little of his own back in a case of what even Galadriel acknowledges is "turnabout is fair play." Frodo just straight up offers her the One Ring, and we get Galadriel's test of the heart. She knows that she would start using the Ring for good and ultimately slide harder into Dutch Angles than her scenes with Adar in Rings of Power did.

We're going to leave it there, because frankly I'm tired and this is already late. But what I will say is that this is one of the chapters that STUCK from my first read. I remembered the Mirror of Galadriel, and overall this scene still hits hard. It encapsulates the idea that duty and right in the long-term ultimately matter more than our personal desires, and it really highlights some interesting sneaking in of Fae rules with the elves and Frodo: Mind your manners because everything is a test, and don't touch the water.

Catch you next time for the next chapter!

[spikeinthepunch]

ok i know i make more posts about the lore i want to write than actually write the lore. but im playing/in the middle of corru.observer and its for one, the kind of game i would love to make myself. but its lore is very neat- the alien/sci fi things are right up my alley with how its cryptic/explained in a way thats unclear as you simply explore parts with no context and try to put it together.

the things related to the alien language has me thinking about conlangs again- i kinda gave up on in depth conlang bc i didnt wanna get caught up on that when i had so much more to do, but i want to implement it into my world at some point bc i do think it can be very cool.

in general with its unique alien terms etc its reminding me of the lore i intended to rework for my own oc story-- i had some original fanon for acceleracers fandom and its alien race but, i just have no long term use for it in a fandom and plan to just shift it to cryptolalia instead. i love the ideas of year/time/day cycles being different in name and length, terms that can be translated and are inserted into normal english sentences, body language that does not communicate between races, etc. its stuff like that that really reminds you of the alien setting. also one other lore thing i am reminded of is i realize i never come up with gods/religion much bc i am not into it so i just. disregard it. but i definitely need to look into making up religions/fables/etc for alien lore i come up w cuz it can do a lot to flesh out cultures.

[madamefluffnstuff]

Okay so I actually loved it??? Like, a lot! I was super impressed.

Here's my opinion coming from someone who has played every single Borderlands game except for "New Tales from the Borderlands".

Spoilers for the 2024 Borderlands movie below:

Now before I start, as I mentioned previously, I went in knowing it would be an adaptation of previous media, it would not be a perfect adaptation, and I was okay with that. They took the first two games and combined them together, and it was somewhat okay? I was a little confused at first but once I realized it made a lot of sense.

I'll start with the not so good things: Script was not great. I don't know who wrote it but Jesus Christ that writing dragged the film to the ground. I know the writing in-game is short and kinda choppy at times but short and choppy does NOT translate well to film dialogue. I felt bad for the cast because you had all these incredible actors who consistently make great films and this script made them look bad. I know these people can act well but here? Didn't work.

While I absolutely loved the majority of the cast choices, I don't feel Ariana Greenblatt was a great choice for Tiny Tina. She had the Tina spunk and silliness but she was too perky for Tina. There wasn't enough of the Crazy side of Tina and I really wish we could have gotten more of that. Now this part might be due to the writing but she was also far, far too soft-spoken and quiet to be Tiny Tina.

Gina Gershon was also not an ideal pick for Mad Moxxi. It felt as though she was trying too hard to be Moxxi and it was kind of grating, to be honest. It gave the impression of a Caricature of Moxxi. Again, this may be because of the writing.

The main Villain was... eh? Handsome Jack could not have been used just because of how much lore and story he has. This guy Atlas felt very last-minute thrown together. Very shallow and not much depth to him except "Find the Vault". I wasn't terribly impressed with him. Just very "meh" all around.

Now, the good; the rest of the Cast. I would never have pictured Jamie Lee Curtis as Tannis but she did an incredible job, down to her mannerisms and lonely cluelessness. Kevin Hart was given a difficult, stoic character and knocked Roland out of the park. Florian Munteanu gave me a whole new appreciation for Kreig and I am now not so normal perfectly normal about him.

And Jack Black- I had completley forgotten Jack Black was going to play Claptrap and only remembered when I watched the credits. He took our favorite robot and RAN with him. I honestly thought it was the original actor for a bit, that's how well Jack did. He was a perfect Claptrap.

I'd also like to mention the sets and scenery; while they weren't carbon copies of the original game levels, you could take one look and instantly recognize which ones they were. I saw New Haven, Old Haven, the Vault itself, the Thresher Pit, etc. The set designers did such a good job making it so recognizable!

Last, but most certainly not least, the cameos. I made a little game out of checking the background to see who and what was there. The Firehawk symbol, the keys, the Psychos and Burning Psychos, and even the brief scene with Ellie and Scooter at the end! I gasped out loud when I saw them! I knew it was Ellie instantly from the outfit, and it was perfect.

So was it a good movie overall? Kind of! It was pretty decent and I was entertained the while time. Was it a good adaptation? Sort of? They had many, many elements that were true to the game and of course to fit it to the screen, they had to change some things. Some things didn't need to be changed, though.

If you go in with the expectation of a different story in the same setting of the Borderlands games, maybe even as an Alternate Universe story, you'll probably like it.

I hope this helps!!

So I'm going to see the Borderlands movie today. The reviews have me legitimately worried. I've played the first one several times and the others... not as many times but I did play them! I still put a lot of hours into the exploration and gameplay. I just really, really hope it's not as bad as they're saying and the majority of the reviewers are ones who haven't actually played the games and don't understand it.

I'm going to go in with an open mind and knowing that it's an adaptation of a previous media. It will not be a perfect adaptation, none have been, but I'll give it a fair chance. Depending on how it goes I might update this with my personal opinion(s). Cross your fingers for me, folks.

[snailsnfriends]

Dream SMP and the Effects of Grimdark Media: An Essay

Hello! For those who don’t me, I am snail, and I have been interested in the Dream SMP since October, but joined the Tumblr community not too long ago. As a writer and actor myself, the work of those on the Dream SMP has absolutely blown me away. However, I and others have noticed a trend in the writing of the Dream SMP: a good sum of it is very grimdark, and I began to notice people really feeling the effects of that, and I wanted to look more deeply into it, and how that can be altered. 

NOTE: I am completely aware that all of the writers on the Dream SMP are amateurs, and likely do not have any sort of “training” other than what they were taught in school. I would not be critiquing the writing of the Dream SMP if I did not believe that it could be “fixed.” Later in this essay, I offer suggestions to “fix” the problem that I’m bringing up. All references to factual information used in this essay will be linked at the end. 

Now, before we can talk about the Dream SMP and its writing, first we need to figure out what grimdark media is and how that affects those who watch it.

What is grimdark media?

According to the google the definition of grimdark is “(of fiction, especially fantasy fiction) characterized by disturbing, violent, or bleak subject matter and a dystopian setting.”

So now that we’ve established what grimdark is, how does depressing media, or any form of media for that matter, affect our emotions as the viewer?

As we are consuming any form of media, whether it’s a movie, a TV show, a book, a podcast, a live theatrical performance, or a Dream SMP lore stream, we as the viewers are completely aware that what we are watching is purely fictional, and that those who are performing are acting. None of the events are real, none of the characters are real, and none of the settings are real. 

So why do we react so heavily to certain moments? Why do we cry during heavy lore streams if we know that none of it is real? 

A lot of it has to do with the human capacity to feel empathy/sympathy. Empathy allows us to understand the experiences of others, even complete strangers. Sympathy, on the other hand, allows us to share the feelings and/or emotions of others. As we are consuming media, we are aware that all of it is fake, but we still feel empathy and/or sympathy for the characters. So much so that a physical response, such as crying, is a result. 

Even though the characters of the Dream SMP are not real, a lot of their characters’ responses to traumatic events ARE, so we as an audience sympathize with them heavily. For example, c!Tommy shows very clear signs of PTSD after being killed by Dream, such as extreme emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds the victim of the event (c!Tommy freaking out after taking fall damage), trying to avoid discussing the even or avoiding activities, people, and places that remind the victim of the event (c!Tommy refusing to go into depth about what happened to him), memory problems (does not really remember how long he was dead for), easily startled, always on guard, extremely irritable, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior, and difficulty keeping close relationships (his current relationship with c!Tubbo). 

Even though we as an audience know that c!Tommy and his experiences aren’t real, his reactions to these experiences are realistic, and can be relatable to a lot of viewers, those with PTSD and those without (which is why it is VERY important to be careful with your word choice when discussing these characters; this connects with the problem of villainizing characters with mental illnesses, but that’s another topic for another day). We as viewers empathize with c!Tommy because it is likely that we have reacted the same way to traumatic events, and we understand them fully. They may remind us of our past and/or current selves, so we react emotionally to them. 

We as people also mirror the reactions and emotions of others. If someone starts to cry, real or fictional, it’s likely that you will as well. If someone is angry, you will likely get angry as well. This is not odd, and is very normal for humans to do. Regardless, getting angry or crying are emotional responses, and will hurt you in some way. 

Another thing to note is that this fandom is made up of mostly minors, and some of the most traumatized characters on the Dream SMP are also minors. It can be hard to watch kids your own age go through so much, even fictional ones. As an adult, it can be just as hard to watch these young kids go through so much, especially when you try to compare those characters to who you were at their ages. 

Even those who have not gone through these events will likely sympathize with these characters heavily because what they have gone through is emotionally heavy. Because of all of this, watching heavy lore streams can have a negative effect on a viewer’s mental health. 

Okay, so why is the Dream SMP storyline at the moment so dark and angsty? Why do people keep engaging with it if it is negatively affecting their mental health?

This sort of “angst spiral” of sorts is usually something I notice in fanworks such as fanart or fanfiction. It is sometimes a lot more fun to write or draw heavy, emotional moments, and they garner more attention. 

It sort of goes like this: the plot has a normal amount of angst in it for the story, and at this point it is balanced with more happy or “fluffy” content, the angst gets more attention from fans, the writer (or in the case of the Dream SMP, writers) notice this and write more angst as a response but it is still bearable, the audience feeds off of this heavily and create more fanart/fanfiction/theories based on it, writer really notices this and (understandably) comes to the conclusion that angst/grimdark things are the best/easiest way to get the audience excited for the plot, the plot gets very very grimdark and is not balanced out with any upbeat moments, random angst plots are started with no real ending in sight despite that not being the original plan for the character/plot (feet are too small for the big shoes) and the rare upbeat moments are short/not given any attention, and at this point, it can be almost unbearable to watch because the plot has become too grimdark. Once we reach this point, or even a few before it, it can cause a big toll on the viewers’ mental health.

The reason why someone who has been negatively affected by the grimdark content of the Dream SMP may still watch it is because the Dream SMP has not always been this way, and the writers have proven that they can do upbeat/fluffy content, so they keep watching. A big example of this is the Disc War Finale. Although the first half of it was more angsty, the final parts where everyone came together to put c!Dream in jail and to protect c!Tommy and c!Tubbo was upbeat and even a bit cathartic to watch. C!Tommy and c!Tubbo sitting on the bench, listening to their discs together in the end was much needed for the audience. This can even be seen in smaller examples, like c!Tommy exclaiming, “I’m free!” while flying around with c!Dream’s trident, or c!Tubbo and c!Ranboo adopting Michael and getting married.

The Dream SMP also may be someone’s hyperfixation, so they are unable to simply stop watching. 

So now that we know all of this, what can the writers of the Dream SMP do to fix this, and what can we as viewers do to help ourselves out?

As I said in the note before this essay, I will be citing examples of a more balanced lore/angst plot that the writers have shown that they are capable of doing.

The writers: 

Make designated lore streams shorter

The best example of this is c!Tommy’s 25-30 minute prison streams. These streams were short, sweet, and to the point. We got all of the “lore” we needed quickly, and if you happened to miss it, it was easy to watch it back later. If the lore bits were too heavy to watch, then you would not be missing too much. 

I know that this is definitely not always possible, so this is most likely the best way to go:

Balance out lore and funny bits in streams

Cc!Tommy’s last lore stream, pretty much all of the Pogtopia streams, and most of cc!Tubbo’s streams are like this. They are a mix of lore and funny moments where the CCs are actually speaking and joking with each other. These are a lot easier to watch because it is not heavy the entire time. The joking moments provide a break in between the angst, and it can also be used as a good way to remind the audience that the Dream SMP is purely fictional. These streams are also better for those who do not really care for the lore and would rather just watch the CCs mess around with each other. 

For me, these funny moments are what caused me to fall in love with the Dream SMP and the creators behind it, and I know that the same applies to a lot of people in this fandom. I think this would probably be the best way for the Dream SMP to operate around lore. 

The viewers 

Try to take a break from lore streams if it becomes too much

As I stated before, the Dream SMP is not real, but the characters’ reactions to events can be very realistic and hard to watch. If things become too much for you, try to take a break from it. Stop watching the stream, don’t go on social media if you follow stan accounts or Dream SMP dedicated blogs, and go do something that calms you down. If you feel that you’re feeling good enough to go back to the stream, go ahead! If not, then that’s completely okay too!

Follow lore recap accounts/blogs to stay up to date on the lore

The fear of missing lore streams is centered largely around missing something crucial. There are plenty of accounts on Twitter and blogs on Tumblr that recap lore streams so you can stay up to date on the plot without having to watch the streams. 

The VODs will be there to watch later

If things are too much, remember that you do not have to watch the streams in real-time. You can always watch them later if you aren’t in the right headspace to watch them live. 

Conclusion

The Dream SMP’s writing and acting is very impressive. The amount of awesome fanart, fanfiction, analysis posts, and other work is absolutely amazing. It is so cool that so many people enjoy this Minecraft roleplay so much. The amount of people who love it is good proof that the writers are doing an amazing job, and the amount of people having an emotional response to it shows the same thing. However, the amount of angst can be hard to watch and can put the writers in a tough spot to get out of. 

I have a lot of faith in the writers of the Dream SMP, and I believe that it is possibly on the right track, with Tommy’s latest lore stream being an example of this. I really do think that the amount of grimdark content can be altered and streams can be easier and more fun to watch. Hopefully we’ll get a more mixed bag of lore and angst soon to make things more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Sources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moral-molecule/200902/why-we-cry-movies

https://www.vice.com/sv/article/exqgqm/why-do-we-cry-when-we-watch-films

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/sympathy-empathy-difference

[rinharu-purple]

Night on Fire and on the importance of an unbreakable bond

 I’ve made it! I am finally done writing this analysis, even though it’s not a long one. #damnprocrastination

Without a doubt, there are numerous dates with Gavin which serve as trademarks of Gavin’s lore such as the Blind Date, the Trio Date or the Spring Festival Date. The karmas from these dates are everywhere, any Gavin-stan knows the lines of these dates like their own names and surely these dates have highly charming plots.

To me, some dates that receive less attention harbor many special messages but also important insights to Gavin’s character as well as his relationship with MC. Night on Fire is one of them.

Spoilers start below this line

Night on Fire Date, which takes place between main story CH14 and CH15, reveals the challenging time period between Gavin and MC’s fall from the TV tower and the saddest and the most painful separation Gavin and MC are yet to endure.

As it happens fairly frequently, when this date takes place exactly is a little bit tricky. MC says that Gavin is taking her to and from work, however at the beginning of CH15 MC rests at home and is depressed. So my guess is, the date takes around the same time Perry’s story unfolds starting CH15-11, because it is then, that MC goes to work for the first time in a while and Gavin does indeed come to pick her up from work:

This would make sense, since in the date MC makes a remark on Gavin abruptly leaving for a mission and says that she hasn’t seen him in a week. That would collide with the time period, where Gavin meets Litton and investigates the destiny of the evolvers he arrested. And because this investigation is something he’s doing behind the scenes, I believe that he is investigating the arsenist case to appear normally occupied so no one suspects him for doing anything beyond that case.

Anyways, while MC was thinking about Gavin and how much she wished he could accompany her to an event organized by their favorite author, a fire alarm breaks out and MC has to go the police station for submitting her witness statement. There, she runs into this fabulously focused Gavin:

Seeing each other after a long week, they go to Lynn’s Kitchen to grab some food and as usual, our lovebirds give the order from each other spontaneously (brings a smile to my face everytime that happens ^_^). After that he drops her off at the Expo Center, where the book launch takes place and return to the STF HQ. There, he finds out via four corner system (a Chinese system for the purpose of decoding I fail to understand) that the next arson is going to take place at the Expo Center, so he tries to warn MC in time and he manages to do so. But MC’s altruistic side gets the better of her and she tries to evacuate the center but gets caught by the perpetrator. The author admits that he is indeed the arsonist and the reason he is doing this is because he’s lost the control over his evol. The following minute, he sets the room on fire with MC trapped in it.

Luckily Gavin shows up and saves her, for the price of him being engulfed by the waves of flames. Afterwards he manages to take an unconscious MC to an hotel nearby.

Both of them are covered in grime and soot and MC is still struggling with speaking. Nevertheless their thoughts are the one and the same:

This is such an important moment in their relationship that it shows after the events of CH12-14, Gavin has now fully overcome his fear of fire, thus having closure on one of the most challenging struggles in his life. But also MC is back to her old courageous self, thus no longer self depreciating because they are giving each other courage and strength. The roots of MC and Gavin’s relationship lies in how they’re mirroring each other. As Litton says in CH26-7, they are they are exactly alike in their way of thinking and personality:

Since they both enjoy reading the same author, MC thinks about getting Gavin an autograph, when they go to a restaurant they automatically order for each other, in a moment of peril, all they care about is the safety of each other. She is his source of power and vice versa. The love and faith they give each other is the source of their strength that aids them in overcoming their hardest struggles. This is the definition of a long lasting, healthy relationship.

What happens next in the date, is that they melt into each other through a tight embrace which MC describes as follows:

“His warm embrace is intoxicating, I pull him closer towards me...The thing that follows fire, enters me, burning, screaming... a secret force, binding us together. Always and forever... “

Thinking about what follows this emotional moment which binds MC and Gavin even stronger is the most violent separation imaginable simply breaks my heart. Just think about it. Gavin left MC at the end of CH12 as his evol went haywire and met her again only by the end of CH14 as she fell from the top of the TV tower after facing the challenge all by herself. After this fall, both have suffered both physically and mentally. MC was blaming herself and Gavin was trying to make sense of the corruption within his organisation. Gavin managed to lift MC’s spirit up and they overcame their fears and despair with the love and faith they have for each other all the while strengthening their bond, only to go through the worse of the worst in the second half of CH15, where MC was hospitalized again, but also Gavin’s resolve reached to the brink of breaking completely as he failed to protect MC without his evol, thus accepting the NW project from his father. After that, they don’t reunite in their original selves until CH26!!! For a whole 11 chapters they won’t meet again, that’s crazy even for the Papergames’s standards! 

Taking this whole course of events into consideration, everything that happens prior to the final scene of CH15 plays a crucial role in Gavin and MC’s relationship as well as their character development. Especially the events of CH15 alongside with this date solidify the unbreakable bond between Gavin and MC that never weakens. Not during the Eternal Winter, and not in S2. Let’s just hope, that they don’t go through a such devastating fate again in S2.

For an in depth analysis of CH15, you can click here.

Masterlist

-----------------

So that’s it everybody. Thank you very much for your patience and support.

I hope you like it. If there are other dates, on which you would like to read an analysis, just let me know. Gavin’s dates are preferred, since I possess the most knowledge on his lore, but any LI is ok. And who knows, that way I could get to know the other guys better too :)

[annethepancake]

Sherlock rant

I recently rewatched BBC Sherlock for Rupert Graves, and aside from the lack of Lestrade appreciation I have a lot of problems with this series. Here are my thoughts:

1. It was all a blur

My second first impression of the show: I don't remember anything but the characters. And some characters I just blatantly forgot, like Mary. And I loved Mary on my second watch! I really forgot that at one point John actually got married and I don't even remember when I watched the show for the first time. I can still recall most of HIMYM's events and I hated that series.

2. It’s overall not a detective/crime show

Watching Sherlock for the second time, I mostly turned off my brain and just let it play in the background because (1) there's hardly anything for me to solve with the characters, most clues are taken by Sherlock off-screen anyway (especially after season 2), (2) they focus way too much on the quirks of the characters that make it almost like a sitcom that got dragged on for way too long. A crime/detective show shouldn't allow me to turn off my brain.

3. The characters just kinda fall flat

Exploring the depth of human emotions is not a bad approach to a modernized version of anything, I’m not trying to pretend I’m better than someone who gets sentimental over fictional character (if you know my blog at all, you know I am not), but at least write good characters. Sherlock is hardly a multi-faceted person; in fact, he’s kinda like the Wattpad teen fic main character sometimes. He physically fights off some terrorists with a machete to save the damsel in distress? He gets high off his tits but still got everything right all the time? John is just kinda there for most of the cases. Jim is a poorly written antagonist. Irene is a lesbian but gets the hot for our main character, surprise surprise. The only interesting characters to me are the ones who act like normal people: Molly, Greg and Mary. They are the multi-faceted characters, ones who I can actually relate to without feeling inferior to them in any way. Write characters like them, stop trying to be smart about it and stop writing Wattpad fanfictions for Sir Conan Doyle’s original works.

I get that they try to make Sherlock more like a human with emotions, making him quirky and arrogant, then make him quirky and more likable. It’s hardly a convincing character development though. He’s given over-powered deduction skills, so edgy, so high and mighty all the time. When he is finally written as vulnerable, turns out he has plans for that too. I would love to see him get it wrong once and maybe get humbled by that mistake, but getting Mary shot and killed is hardly even his fault, he is only doing his job. And killing off Mary is overall a bad idea anyway.

4. They treated the fandom like shit

I was absolutely disgusted at the start of season 3 when the showrunners just straight up shat on their fans. I wasn't there with the fandom during the wait between season 2 and 3, but I believe it was a pretty long wait (2 years, I could barely wait 2 years for my comfort series, and they have like 10 episodes per season), and they were presented with the first actual mystery of the series: How did Sherlock survive the fall? After years of waiting and having fun theorizing, they were met with a mockumentary about them, starring the most hated character of the protagonist and the fans. Those are the people who actually cared about the show for god's sake. The fact that the showrunners treated fans like crap and there's still an active fandom for the show appalled me.

Now not only The Empty Hearse bugs me, but the entire show does as well.

Allow me to digress.

Doki Doki Literature Club is a great example of audience engagement done right (Sorry for using this example I’m not actually that invested in the other franchises). After the success of the first game, the story provoked so many fans into solving the mysteries of the characters, some of them went really, really far. And that’s because of the actual mysteries that the development team took effort to plant into the plot. There is actual pay-off for painstakingly following the clues; as far as I know, only two (2!) people in the world have come close to solving the mystery of the first game (or they actually did). The game developers value their fans and their intelligence enough to have planted those clues where they did, and it’s a genuine exchange between the fans and the creators. Now even though you haven’t actually played the game, when you hear of the name and you’re only kinda familiar with gaming (like me), you’ll probably know what it is. What started as a mere open-source game by an indie developer became a sensation which left millions of fans begging for more.

Looking back at Sherlock, there are tons of logical flaws for a self-proclaimed crime series, virtually no clues for the audience to solve crimes along with their favorite detective, and when there was actually a mystery (Sherlock jumped off the building), they plainly showed him alive and well minutes later. Do we really need to see things spelled on screen to know what’s going on? Are we supposed to accept that Sherlock Holmes is an all-knowing future-predicting genius now too? Not a great sign of respecting the audience there.

So far, the only thing left that’s interesting about this series is the characters’ dynamic. Which brings me to the next criticism I have for the show.

5. The plague that infested mainstream media

Why is there still an active fandom? Queerbaiting and targeted marketing.

Community marketing is proven to be one of the best marketing methods there is, if not the best, to lengthen the lifespan of a product or service. The way they do that for shows and films and video games is usually by planting seeds of possible lores and history inside the content. Look at Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, they are franchises that ran for multiple years with a ton of history and world building that provokes fans’ imagination.

Sherlock - well, Sherlock has sexually ambiguous men.

Sherlock has a formula for success. It was an adaptation of the most iconic detective novel in the world, funded by one of the biggest TV networks in the UK and possibly the world (don’t quote me on this). Making this series means you can appeal to such a wide group of audience even before airing. Adding in the quirky smart men who live together, you’ve basically guaranteed a prime-time show with millions of loyal fans all over the world.

Fans are not stupid, and queer people don't just find queerness everywhere they go. They know a gay subtext when they see one. Sherlock came back from the literal death for John, pretty gay if you ask me.

This show is very much not just about some guys being dudes solving crimes, they have relationship that’s deeper than friendship, and definitely not platonic. They deliberately wrote a sexually ambiguous Sherlock Holmes from the get-go - literally from the very first episode, then capitalized off of the targeted demographic, never a pay-off for their anticipation. Martin Freeman said in interviews that he could recognize Sherlock fans, them being generally women from 16 - 25. No shit Sherlock, this show targets them and capitalizes off of them, being quirky and gay as hell, of course the fanbase is generally 16 - 25 and female.

Sherlock queerbaited the fandom for years for the sake of marketing and there’s never a pay-off, nor was there any recognition to the community, and to add to all that bigotry, queercoding pretty much all of the villains? Why was a show aired in the 2010′s allowed to do this? Why did Mark Gatiss, an openly gay man, a writer of the show, allow this to happen? Why are millions of fans all over the world allowing all this to go on?!

6. Conclusion

Now I haven’t read the books yet, so I’m not at all qualified to criticize the adaptation quality of the TV series; I’m just talking about the TV series on its own. Despite my criticism, I think the first two seasons did quite okay. There are quite a few nice cases there, I like The Blind Banker and The Hound of Baskerville. They did those well because the focus was on the cases themselves, and the connection between John and Sherlock was only in the background. I, like many other fans, like to figure things out on my own, to read between the lines, and to not have things spelled out for me. With the next seasons bombarded with Sherlock and John bonding it seriously felt like mere fan service for me and even though I wasn’t there when the show was on, I still felt like I was robbed and my interest in the show was abused.

Sherlock is undoubtedly super influential in pop culture even now. It has to have done something right to be in that spot (capitalizing off loyal fans?). I’m not writing this rant to change someone’s mind about the series, by all means, I’m still gonna love the hell out of Gavin Lestrade, and absolutely lose my mind over Mary Watson. So do take my words with a grain of salt, I’m just disappointed that one of the most influential shows there is is just short of my expectations.