#there's so many inside jokes here and stuff for doll collectors

[disconnected-dragon]

since i like to project onto people (and because I just saw the barbie movie and it was fantastic)--

spider-kids doll collecting headcanons post time (brands, do they play with them, and other stuff)

miles: bratz and barbie collector, but likes Bratz the best. probably also has a dreamhouse that his dolls all live in. does actually play with his dolls sometimes and makes up insane/unhinged stories to cope with being spiderman. Just to distract. stand-in for Dok Ock (redressed Girlz Really Rock Cloe) gets her shit clocked a LOTTTTTTTTT by Tokyo a Go Go Sasha. He's sort of interested in doll repainting, but worries a bit abt wrecking the doll permanently. Esp with his Bratz collection, he almost had to sell a kidney for TAGG Sasha. He's been practicing with the cheap ten dollar Barbies you can buy in Wal-Mart, but he still feels kinda bad. Ganke keeps good watch over his school collection when he has to go be Spider-Man tho. They have an Understanding- Miles watches the Funko Pops when Ganke is at coding conventions, and Ganke watches the dawls when Miles has to fight Green Goblin.

gwen: barbie and monster high collector. just starting out so the collection's not really that big. however, she has all the movies torrented on her computer and watches them when she can't fall asleep. DEFINETELY plays with her dolls too, like has an entire running soap opera going with them that's getting more and more complicated-- toralei is beach ken's bastard daughter that is trying to find the gold that creepover draculaura hid with the help of I Can Be A Mars Explorer barbie, and it only gets weirder from there. Her dad is baffled and confused by it, but she doesn't actually mind (in fact it might be the point). also, a little while after she restarted active collecting, miles gets a text at two am apologizing profusely for opening that collectible because her dad came in to clean her room and took Sweet 1600 Draculaura out of the box "as a treat" and THE TIES AREN'T GOING BACK IN

hobie: refuses to participate in the toxic consumerist nature that this hobby promotes while toy companies dump toxins into the air and kill our crops, while working in tandem with the horrifically abusive beauty industry to promote disgustingly unhealthy body standards to AFAB individuals. does hit the locally owned thrift store on occasion. does sleep with what he has all piled in his sleeping bag like a lil burrito. does carry his favorite around with him in his guitar case. as a little treat. doesn't discriminate with brands, his current favorite is a knockoff of monster high that nobody but him treasures. He jumpscares Miguel with her half zombie-fied face every five seconds and has her play peek-a-boo with Mayday. Peter B finds it funny, Miguel does not lol

pavitr: collects exclusively old and really obscure lines that nobody has ever heard of. Like he can give you a minute description of a random brand that you've never even heard of that lasted for like five minutes in the nineties before flaming out into the discount stores and then pull out their nib AND oob versions. all while saying "oh yeah, im not really into collecting that stuff. it takes up so much space, bro." He's still searching for one but pretends he isn't. also plays with them, along with Gayatri, and their stories are just the cutest sweetest things ever. like they're still batshit insane, don't get me wrong, the climaxes are always massive dance offs that involve the whole collection. but it always ends with their two dolls (Mystikats Azra for Gayatri and Tattoo Divas Shary for Pav) riding off into the sunset on one of the Struts dolls.

miles g (oh yeah that's right you though he'd be getting out of this): also bratz and barbie, and also likes Bratz the best. Since he has (some) Prowler Bux money's (mostly) not an issue. (Please don't ask him abt the noises he made when the Felicia repro was confirmed). He also has a Dreamhouse where they live, however it's shoved into his closet and if you ask him abt it, he will deny it. His stories are even more unhinged and insane then Miles, and usually involve running away from cops (redressed Wild Life Safari Cloe) who are trying to interfere with the hero's (the new pretty n punk sasha's) vigilante business. Which is why Hobie likes to join him a lot. Also into doll repainting, but actually even less confident then Miles-- he can do an amazing Bratz lip but the eyes? Forget it. And rn they're too expensive to buy en masse, so..... hooray :)

(none of them, except for hobie, let mayday play with their dolls. hobie does it because he can fix their hair later and also he doesn't believe in property. the others are too spooked. except for maybe miles, he gives her the barbies he's transformed into Weird Barbies. Peter B finds it so cute he could scream, and Miguel agrees. He never SHOWS it but he agrees.)

TL;DR: they are all very autistic and like to play with their dollies, the end.

[nekomittchi]

My Disney Fab 50 Statues

This is my version of the Disney Fab 50 statues for the WDW 50th Anniversary, and why I picked each one. My list aims much more to park history than the official list does. I'll note which ones are official statues by underlining them. These are in no particular order, but organized by park they'd be in. Magic Kingdom 1) Mickey - Obviously, Mickey, being the park and company mascot, needs to be here, and he's on the official list as well. I chose to put my version in his Philharmagic costume. It's got the hat from Fantasia/Sorcerer's Apprentice, which is well known, but tailored more to the park attraction. 2) Daisy Duck - One of the Fab 6, Daisy is also along for the ride. But unlike the official's "standard" outfit, I'm putting Daisy in a safari outfit to represent Jungle Cruise. Since Jungle Cruise doesn't really have any characters, I'm using outfits, like with Mickey, to represent attractions that otherwise would be left out. 3) Goofy - Another of the Fab 6, Mickey's best friend needs to be represented. Like Daisy, he's also repping a character-less ride. This time he's repping Big Thunder Railroad. As an added bonus, if they put him in a conductor outfit, it could also rep Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway, but that's at another park. 4) Pluto - The last of the Fab 6 in this park (the other two I'm placing elsewhere), Mickey's dog Pluto. And since the Park Wishables already put Mickey and Minnie in space suits for Space Mountain, let's give Pluto an astronaut helmet to represent it! And, as an added bonus, it doubles as a take-that at Universal, since Disney can't have Marvel in the WDW parks, and Pluto would be a joke on Cosmo (the space dog in the Collector's museum from Guardians of the Galaxy). 5) Sonny Eclipse - The first statue of mine that's not only unique to my list, but also represents something 100% in the park. I haven't been to Cosmic Rays myself, but from what I hear around WDWNT and WIGScord, it's pretty popular. Or at least Sonny is. So he gets a statue. 6) Merlin and Archmedes - Second statue unique to my list, and the first that's for the history of the park. Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom was a scavenger hunt-type game that closed down early this year, and Merlin was kinda your guide for it. The game apparently had a lot of problems, but it looked really fun at the same time. 7) Genie - A surprising omition from the official list, and, unlike DLR, WDW actually has an Aladdin ride. The official list does have Abu, but I feel Genie is much more iconic and representitational of the movie. I'm also surprised that Carpet wasn't with Abu. 8) Pirate Dog - The Pirate Dog holding the keys is my representation of Pirates of the Caribbean. The dog might not be the most obvious pick, but as I'm trying to steer away from realistic-looking human characters, the dog was picked. Plus, they also made a Tsum Tsum and a Wishable of him, so... 9) Big Al OR Henry- This one's a toss-up. Either bear would do, and it's surprising to me that Country Bear Jamboree isn't represented. Of course, we know that it's a "less popular" attraction, so... 10) Madame Leota - The hitchhiking ghosts would also work to represent Haunted Mansion, but I think that having a gold statue inside of an ornate glass orb would look cooler. Plus, it only takes up one character slot, rather than 3. 11) Dumbo - One of the original rides from Disneyland, this classic has to be represented, and Disney agreed. Although I cut out Timothy. Didn't wanna take up another slot. 12) Stitch - Another statue to represent a past attraction, Stitch is here to represent Stitch's Great Escape. He's also, like the official statue, in his 626 form, because there's not nearly as much merchandise for him that way. 13) Winnie the Pooh - Piglet is with him on the official statue, but I think Pooh can stand on his own. Or, at least, eat hunny on his own. I mean, the ride is called "Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh," not "Pooh and Friends." Also, Tigger is way better than Piglet. 14) Mr. Toad - Another surprising omition from the list. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride might not be in Magic Kingdom anymore, but he's still fondly remembered, and they even made a Wishable of him (from the Disneyland 65th Anniversary set, but whatever). 15) Maleficent (Dragon) - The first of my statues that's not for an attraction, but a show (okay, Philharmagic is kinda a show, but shush). And she's also considered the "leader" of all of the Disney Villains, who are not represented at all in the official list, which I think is a shame. Sure, we all love the heroes, but who would those heroes be without their villains? 16) Face Clock - The only non-character in my list, the Face Clock is iconic enough for the World's Fair-turned-park ride. Because if you picked one of the dolls, which doll would you pick?! 17) Elliot - I've never seen the Main Street Electrical Parade myself (unless it was when I was 5), but I'd recognize the dragon float from Pete's Dragon anywhere. Bonus points if they could do the statue in such a way that it looked like the float, too. 18) Tinkerbell - The last of the revealed statues, Tinkerbell has come to represent Disney magic, both within and outside the parks, just as much as Mickey. Officially representing Peter Pan's Flight, I'd like to think that she also represents the Castle, like in the company card at the start of the movies. 19) Jose, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz - Yes, I know I've been trying to avoid "wasting" slots with multi-character statues, but... How could you pick just one of the Enchanted Tiki Room birds?! 20) Cheshire Cat - Cheshire and Mad Hatter both made the list (as separate statues), but I feel that Alice in Wonderland can be represented by Cheshire on his own. Plus, cat. 21) Boo - Monster's Inc Laugh Floor is an attraction that I wish was at DLR, so I could go on it, but even better than Sulley or Mike is the adorable Boo. 22) Jimminy Cricket - Yet another surprising omition from the list, Jimminy is almost as iconic to Disney Magic as Tinkerbell is. The official list has Pinocchio, but Jimminy is so much more "Disney" in general than Pinocchio. 23) Dopey - Seven Dwarfs Mine Train represent, as well as Disney's first animated feature. EPCOT 24) Donald Duck, Jose, and Panchito - Mickey's other best friend, here represented with the other two of the Three Caballeros, as represented in the Gran Fiesta Tour ride in the Mexico Pavillion. Like with the other members of the Fab 6, I chose to put him in an attraction outfit, and since I did, the other two had to come along for the ride. 25) Figment - Journey to Imagination (or whatever the current name of the attraction is) might be "meh" as a ride, but everyone loves Figment. Even Disney, who included him. 26) Olaf - I love Bruni. Bruni is probably my favorite character from all of Frozen. But Bruni isn't even named in the movie, he doesn't need to be on a statue. Olaf can represent Frozen Ever After by himself. 27) Remy - I'm shocked that Remy's not on the official list, given that his ride [officially] opens on the first day of the 50th Celebration, and represents the future of the parks. 28) Orange Bird - OB is on the official list, though in MK rather than EPCOT. All of the merch and such I've seen for him has been for the EPCOT festivals, so I'm sticking him here. 29) Rocket Racoon and Groot - Another statue to look to the future, for whenever Cosmic Rewind opens. Also, unlike the official statue, we are not using the realistic style from the official statue. The fur on Rocket looks so bad. Nah, instead we'll do him smooth, like the cartoons. 30) Mushu - Mushu was left out of the live action Mulan movie, but he's designed after traditional Chinese dragons, so let's put him over by the China Pavilion. 31) Marie - Did you really think that this list was not going to have my favorite character on it? I mean, really? Plus, we've got THREE mice/rats on the list, AND a dog, so we need another cat. Hollywood Studios 32) Minnie Mouse - And here we have the last of the Fab 6, Mickey's gal Minnie! Why is she in Hollywood Studios? Because she's representing Tower of Terror, wearing a cute outfit, of course! 33) DJ-R3X - Remember all those Fab 6 characters representing multiple characters? Yeah, R3X here is doing the same. Not only is DJ-R3X the DJ at Oga's Cantina in Galaxy's Edge, but he was originally RX-24, the pilot for the original version of Star Tours. Much better representation than BB-8 or R2-D2 from the official list. 34) Kermit the Frog - One of the more offensive omitions from the official list. MuppetVision3D is great fun, and the Muppets don't get nearly enough love, even with the Haunted Mansion special coming. 35) Chuuby - Okay, so sue me, I'm obsessed with the little merchandising bird. He's just too cute. 36) Woody and Buzz Lightyear - I know the official statue is Woody and Bo-Peep. But I haven't seen Toy Story 4 (or 3), so I want Buzz there. Disney's Animal Kingdom 37) Chip and Dale - Ya gotta have the little buddies! And who better to be wearing cute little Wilderness Explorer outfits? 38) The Yeti - So, the real Yeti might not work in Expedition Everest, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be represented as a statue! Just make sure it's not realistic fur like that horrible Rocket statue. Stylized only! 39) Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa - Simba is separate from his friends in the official statue, but the trio (Simba as a child) should stick together. Festival of the Lion King is amazing to watch. You'll note a few things on my list: 1) There are no princesses. This was a specific omition on my part. The princesses have their own line of stuff, and are fairly over-used as it is. I wanted to get away from that. 2) As I mentioned with the Pirate Dog, I wanted to avoid realistic human characters. They either look good, or they don't. And I wanted a bit more of a similar style to everything, hence why I'm noting that Rocket should be done in the cartoon style, and the Yeti should be stylized. 3) Everything is tied into an attraction, land, or Disney Magic. Nothing is there solely from a movie. 4) My list only has 3 statues more than the official list. 5) For reference, here are the characters that are on the official list that are missing from mine: Timothy the Mouse (with Dumbo) Piglet (with Winnie the Pooh) Bruni (with Olaf) Bo-Peep (with Woody) Lumiere and Cogsworth Mad Hatter Pinocchio Gus and Jaq Lady and Tramp Abu Dante Miguel Pua and Hei-Hei Joe Gardener Edna Mode Frozone R2-D2 BB-8 Sebastian and Flounder Nemo and Dory Bambi and Thumper Of these, there are no major parks connections for Lumiere and Cogsworth, Lady and Tramp, Dante, Miguel, Pua and Hei-Hei (yet), Joe Gardener, Edna, and Frozone. Edna and Frozone especially bother me, as they're not even the main characters. Why couldn't we get a Jack-Jack instead? And Mr. Mittens and 22 over Joe Gardener? 6) And, finally, here are my statues that are new to my list: Sonny Eclipse Merlin and Archmedes Genie Pirate Dog Big Al Madame Leota Mr. Toad Maleficent Face Clock Elliot Jose, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz Boo Jimminy Cricket Dopey Remy Mushu Marie DJ-R3X Kermit the Frog Chuuby Buzz Lightyear The Yeti

[marcuspedersen-nz]

1- Time Crime

(by Christopher Jones)

The year was 2040, nine years after the bust. They had called it the new El Dorado during the boom, but what could they call it now? Greymouth: the open orifice of a corpse humming to the tune of its own death rattle. It was a city trying to hold onto, yet somehow forget, the glory of years gone by; to settle at last to humble death, while the last of its flesh was consumed by collectors, as debtors made a hasty exit, and all those who had come to ride the wave were gone, leaving an overweight economy and too many high-rise buildings to sustain its rotting core.

I arrived during the tumult of a spring storm. There was quite some turbulence but the air hostesses didn’t seem very worried, and that was good enough for me. The one on my aisle was very made up, with tight blonde hair, a sweet chubby face and her skirt came down to just below her knees. They say that when it rains here it really rains, but they also say you get used to it. The pilot had to circle three times waiting for a window of visibility before finally bringing the DC-20 down to land.

I met my rental car agents outside the terminal building. I had ordered a manual four-wheel drive, apparently the only one in town. The mainstream companies which crowded the interior dealt only in the new generation of foolproof automatics, and besides there was a limited supply of large vehicles without prior notice. I knew what I would need, so I looked around on the internet until I hooked up with these guys, Smack Car Rentals, and at the last minute arranged for them to meet me at the airport. Before going outside into the din of the weather I let my local contact, Police Inspector Jack Martin, know that I had arrived. He gave me the address of where to meet him.

The dark day was just coming onto dusk, and I waited there for a moment sheltered from the rain by the large overhead canopy until a small silver Suzuki Swift drove up. A tall, handsome man of about 30 got out, quite a flashy type with black hair and dark brown eyes. He introduced himself as Paul Bartley, “We spoke on the phone, Mr Jones. Sorry about the delay,” he said, putting my cases into the back and opening the passenger’s door for me to enter, “Your Range Rover is at the office. I need to check you in.” It was here that I felt the first inexplicable glitch, like a shudder through my reality that showed I wasn’t there by accident. This was no false alarm.

I got in and he said as the car drove towards the CBD, “I’d apologise for the weather, Mr Jones, but it’s beyond the powers of my control. This is the West Coast, after all.”

“Yes,” I nodded, “It’s a narrow strip of land between the coast and the Southern Alps. When the prevailing westerly comes off the ocean loaded with water, it hits the mountains and dumps its load, leaving the east in drought while the west has more rain than it can handle.” He laughed as though I had told some kind of joke, so I added, “Call me Chris.”

The office on Mackay Street was one of several on the second floor of an old two storey building standing between taller, shakier buildings built during the 2020s. It was accessed by a narrow flight of steps which took us up to a shabby lobby with several doors to various offices. The sign above the door we entered read, “PPS Bartley Real Estate, Smack Car Rentals and P. Bartley Detective Agency”. He indicated for me to stand at a counter which was obviously used for the car rental side of the business, “Would you like tea or coffee?” he offered, and I shook my head.

Looking at the real estate display board, I noticed one property stand out from the others. It had a note saying, “Serious Viewers Only. No Tourists!” which piqued my curiosity. I then recognised the red shed on the photo from my research files as being the location of one of the Blondino murders. The thought of that recognition gave me a second inexplicable glitch; a feeling like déjà vu. I asked, “How is the real estate business doing these days?”

“It’s a good time to buy,” he said, “People shy away from a market in a slump, but think about it. You wouldn’t buy your groceries like that, would you? You wouldn’t wait till prices rocketed before you rushed down to the supermarket. No, you’d grab what you could while everything’s on sale. So why treat real estate any different? There are plenty of good bargains to be had around here.”

“What about this one?” I asked.

“That’s the Thompson property; a real bargain. If you’re interested, come back tomorrow when the office is open and we’ll talk business. You honestly could not go wrong.”

He entered my details into the computer, such as driver’s licence and credit card numbers, and printed off some papers for me to sign just in time for a second, younger man to enter. “It’s all fuelled and ready to go. I’ve put your cases on the back seat,” he said, he looked so similar to Paul Bartley that he was obviously his younger brother. He wasn’t quite so flashy and he wore a wedding band. He handed me the key attached to a bright orange key-ring with the Smack logo on it and said, “Diesel only. It’s just outside.” So I looked nonchalantly at the window as the rain came crashing down even harder, and bade them farewell.

I set the navigator to Power Road and pulled out from the curb. The good thing about cars of the era before everything became self-driving was that you felt like you were actually driving, and not simply a passenger in the driver’s seat. Even by 2040 the majority of cars practically drove themselves, but they weren’t fully driverless so it kind of made you feel like you were there but not there. Of course they already had the technology for self-driving but public suspicion had pushed for legislation that prevented its general implementation. Only vehicles that used special lanes such as freight and taxi were permitted to be driverless.

I took a left on Tainui Street, up past the traffic lights at the railway crossing, and turned right at the roundabout. After a few kilometres Tainui Street became High Street, and the rain eased off to a trickle. It was already full night. I passed the Oasis Hotel on my left, which I was booked into but would check in later, and proceeded for another 3.2 kilometres before turning left onto Power Road as the navigator directed. I drove up a steep hill to the house at number 32, where there was a police cordon in place. A modified white Camry and a standard patrol car with flashing lights awaited there for my arrival.

Reaching into my case for the gaga meter I noticed an umbrella on the back seat, so I decided to make use of it. There were four men, two in uniform and two detectives, standing beside the Camry. They took notice of me as I got out, clutching the meter, fumbling about with the umbrella which didn’t seem to want to open. It came up all of a sudden and almost sent me tripping over my own feet. The detectives walked over to greet me, putting out their hands and the older, obviously more senior of the two said, “I’m Police Inspector Jack Martin, this is Police Inspector David Walton. You must be Special Agent Christopher Jones.” I gave him and his partner the firm handshakes they wanted, showed them my badge, and Jack indicated towards the house, “We didn’t expect you would arrive tonight.”

He wore a thick coat and the water ran off his head but he acted as though it was nothing more than a slight inconvenience, which it probably was. He was a well built man of about 40 years, with a trimmed black moustache and a very friendly manner. David Walton was much thinner and younger, with brown hair and ginger moustache. Jack said, “Forensics were here this afternoon. So far, despite the blood being human, there’s no indication that the murder took place here. The bodies of the residents, Janine Hoffstad and her daughter Susan, were found in bush about 20 minutes out of town, and the blood isn’t theirs. They were strangled, and there’s every indication that they were murdered there. Personally, I wouldn’t have alerted you, even if it does look occult. It’s the computer that does it. It’s an algorithm. I hope you haven’t wasted your time. She’s the daughter of a crime boss.”

“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” I said, “And call me Chris,” but I could tell just by looking at the exterior of the yellow weatherboard house that I had already been there. It’s like the glitches. It’s what we call the ripple effect, and you develop a sense for it when you’ve been in the job for long enough. Think of it like a stone being dropped into a pool of water, and the ripples radiate out from the epicentre, repeating the trauma, which brings about the sensation of repetition. Some call it déjà vu, but for most people only the very strong pulses are felt, where they feel the ongoing effect of a great surge through the fabric of their lives.

Inside the house I switched on the meter and took a reading of the hallway with immediate indication of gaga. Jack Martin pointed to a door at the end of the hallway, “The interesting stuff is this way.” I nodded. “What does that thing do exactly?” he asked.

I said, “It measures gaga.” He nodded.

The lounge room at the end of the hallway came up with very strong readings. The light was dim, but at the turn of a dial Jack made it very bright. There was a pentagram painted from blood on the cream carpet of an otherwise fairly ordinary lounge. A black leather sofa and two matching lazy-boy armchairs were set facing a plasma television screen which took up most of the wall they faced. There was a strong scent of very sweet perfume like an overture to the senses with an undertone of musty dampness, and the rancid stench-like odour of rotting meat barely perceptible. At each point of the pentagram were two items, which mostly looked like they belonged to a woman, or a young girl, or both. “What exactly is gaga?” asked Jack as the meter hissed, almost off the scale.

At the closest point of the pentagram were a Barbie doll and a deck of cards with the golden pick logo of Inangahua Resort Casino at Reefton. The next point in a clockwise direction had a red badge with the picture of Daffy Duck on it, and a lady’s smart-watch with a blue strap. The third point had a postcard of a snowy mountain with three serrated peaks, that is, Mt Owen, and a brown felt hat with splotches of mud and a red flowery band. At the end of the fourth point was a CD album Sugar Sweet Candy Water by the Aloe Veras, and a small plastic daffodil of the type they sell to raise money for cancer research. At the final point was a Lenovo tablet with star and flower stickers on it, and a bottle of Le Frais perfume, with the lid not pressed on properly and so most of its contents had spilled onto the carpet.

I said, “To put it simply, gaga measures the difference between what is real and what is unreal. Think of it as the difference between matter and antimatter. The action of matter normally flows in nominal resistance to the reaction of antimatter, like a wave held in balance. When the wave becomes discordant, shadow waves appear, which is what we call a ripple effect, measured in units of gaga. You follow me?” He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, just think of it as telling me that something illegal has taken place here and the sooner that I deal with it the better it will be for everybody, so it’s good I got here when I did.”

“How bad is it? Should we be worried?”

“It’s bad, as bad as it gets. I need to bag these items.”

“What are they for? It is occult then?”

I nodded, and picked up the brown felt hat. There were strands of long blonde hair on the inside. Turning over the postcard there was, “Dear Mummy,” but nothing else written on it. I turned on the tablet and the screen saver was the same photo of Mt Owen as on the postcard. It asked for a pin and I tried a few basic combinations but they didn’t work.

I said, “Certain items become charged with gaga. We call them talismans. It’s occult in as much as ritualistic procedure was used to create the talismans, but occult is just a layman’s term for the process of manipulating the fabric of the space-time continuum, that is, the normal flow of matter and antimatter. Of course it’s highly illegal, but we have our methods. This crime took place here, but not the here as we see it, the here that exists somewhere else. All we see is the exhaust of an event and the only way to fix it is to find the source of the tear and stitch it up.”

“But should we be worried?”

I shrugged, “No, I think we’ve caught it in time. Good work.”

We came away and to my surprise the night had cleared. Everything looked washed, serene, and clean, with a starry sky and the near full moon glowing high above the ranges to the east. To the north the seven towers of Greymouth’s CBD were sparkling like they were something beautiful, to be proud of, but dread filled me because I knew they were more like the embers of a fire that had not quite been extinguished, and just the slightest wind would bring up the flame to consume it all like a dragon’s breath.

The city had been born of gold, and gold had destroyed the city, with a hundred and seventy years between to grow, to languish, and hope for better times. Their motto, “Our time will come again,” seemed like presentiment during the 2020s boom as many believed their time had finally arrived, but the problem with gold is that too much happens all at once, and when the gold is gone everything must collapse back into itself. Back in the 1860s it hadn’t mattered so much because there was only a limited amount that a town could grow with such means as steam ships and sailboats. But it was a different story during the 2020s, as the 2030s proved and the year 2040 was about to conclude; the devastation to be visited upon this city would be more than the sum of its components.

That was “Chapter One” of The Woman in the Brown Hat, a sci-fi fantasy detective novel by Marcus Pedersen.

Available on Amazon as an e-book and paper book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RW59M7G

For more information see: https://www.facebook.com/ToroPopularFiction

For reviews see: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56531729-the-woman-in-the-brown-hat

[crimsondomingo]

Day 31: Mash up any two

Thank you to everyone who followed my AU a day challenge this month. Today’s ended up so long, I have to put a cut for once, because it’s over 3k! Totally on accident, I guess I just got carried away.

Big thank you to @a-redharlequin for helping me headcanon last night!

And thank you to everyone who submitted ideas for the mashup. I’m going to keep your prompts in my ask and might respond later with drabbles.

Now for what I did choose: Supernatural / High School

For my July AU a Day Challenge

“You know it’s impolite to stare, right?”

Barry blinked. He hadn’t meant to stare. He’d just never seen someone so gorgeous in real life before. And now he was talking to him. “Um��” And his eloquence was living up to its usual level of why me?

“Hi,” the gorgeous boy saved him. “I’m Len. You’re new, huh? Can’t be easy transferring at the start of senior year, no matter where you’re from.” He smiled at Barry like all the world existed only to be his backdrop.

“You too. I mean thanks!” Why was Barry ever allowed to speak? “Sorry, I’m just nervous. I’m Barry. And yeah, it is hard transferring like this, but…well it’s sort of a long story—”

“Say no more.” Len held up a hand as they headed toward the school together. “Like, really, say no more, because we’re on school grounds. Any tough stuff about where you came from, who you are, you don’t have to say anything. We’re all pretty much ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ around here, unless a teacher brings it up. Don’t feel pressured. Here, we’re all normal—even if we’re not.” He winked.

Barry felt a wave of relief at the joke. He’d been expecting to be asked to get up in front of everyone and tell the long, difficult story of how his father died when he was a baby, then his mother when he was ten, being raised by a man he no longer trusted.

Not after getting that telegram on his birthday only a few days ago, explaining that he was enrolled at this school, something his mother had wanted for him and that everything would make sense eventually as long as he got there in time for orientation. He’d run away that moment and never looked back.  

The telegram had included a package with a uniform, which Barry wore now, just his size too. He wasn’t sure he liked being stuffed into a suitcoat and tie, skinny and awkward as he was, but Len filled out the uniform beautifully.

“Oh and ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ doesn’t apply to other things,” Len said with a wink, before pushing the doors open for them.

Barry tried not to trip his way inside. He definitely hadn’t been around anyone that open in his last school. People were fine with him being bi, they just didn’t really care. About him. At all. It was like he’d had this cone of avoidance around him all his life, everyone just sort of overlooked him. But here, now, only days after turning eighteen at a brand-new school far from home, Barry could finally start over and stop being invisible.

He’d already dropped his things off at the dorms—what little he’d brought along when he ran away, with barely any money to his name. He just couldn’t trust Uncle Eobard enough to tell him what he was up to. If he could trust him, why had Eo told him not to go anywhere on his birthday? Why hadn’t he known that the final pieces of his mother’s will would arrive that morning?

Barry didn’t want to think about it, so he followed Len inside. They were in the same class—Class A, which was only made up of twelve people, given the number of chairs. Everyone appeared to be there already, but they were chatting, hovering together in clumps around different desks. Not knowing what to do with himself, Barry headed for a desk in the corner.

“Oh no, you sit by me,” Len said, taking Barry’s elbow to guide him to a seat. Then he got strangely close as he sniffed along Barry’s neck. “You smell amazing, by the way. What is that?”

“U-um…me?” Barry said, since he didn’t wear cologne.

“Well you, Barry, smell delicious.”

“Lenny,” a girl’s voice interrupted Barry's forthcoming squeak, “don’t hog the new kid.” She was gorgeous too, with long wavy brunette hair and the same striking blue eyes as Len.

“Are you two…?”

“Twins? Yep. Aren’t you a lucky one. I’m Lisa.” She held out a perfectly manicured hand.

Barry noticed the other students starting to gather around too. “Uh…hi. I’m Barry,” he said, shaking Lisa's hand and glancing around at the others.

“Wow, you smell great,” a pretty blond boy said with a similar sniff at Barry like Len had.

“Eddie,” a gorgeous, dark-skinned girl giggled. “I’m Iris. Nice to meet you.”

“A new rookie in town, huh?” a brunette boy even taller and ganglier than Barry called. “Finally!”

“Ralph was the new kid before you,” a blonde girl with a dazzling smile offered next. “I’m Kara, student council president.”

Another blond girl who looked a little scary like she could easily beat Barry up, with another girl at her side equally scary but with darker skin and hair—like night and day, Barry thought admiringly—came forward. “You don’t have to tell everyone you meet that you’re student council president, Kara. I’m Sara. This is Nyssa.”

“Hi!” Barry nodded around at everyone, none of whom seemed unfriendly, not even the scary girls.

Scratch that, he thought, when the biggest boy yet came over, crazy muscly, and unabashedly sniffed Barry like the others. “He doesn’t smell that great.”

“This is Mick,” Len explained.

A very kind looking brunette put a hand on Mick's arm, and he seemed to instantly sag out of his standoffish posture. “I’m Caitlin. Mick doesn’t like anything new,” she said. “But if you have anything shiny, he'll love you forever.”

“Hey. I ain’t that easy, doll,” Mick said, then snapped his attention back to Barry. “You got anything shiny?”

“Uhh…” Barry was hesitant to lift his wrist but didn’t want to lie. “Just my watch. But I need it. I’m always late otherwise.”

“You have a watch?” a new voice called, though Barry couldn’t see who it came from initially. “Come on, guys, let the little guy through!”

When he appeared, he wasn’t that little, just shorter than everyone else, but he had the loveliest hair Barry had ever seen.

Why was everyone, scary or not, so attractive here? Barry felt like the only dull stone on the beach.

“I'm Cisco! Can I see it?” The boy indicated Barry’s watch. “I’m kinda a collector.”

“Of watches?”

“Well, really anything that's—”

The bell rang and everyone hopped to attention, quickly taking their seats. Floundering for a few seconds, Barry scrambled into the desk Len had chosen for him, second row with Cisco on his other side, Kara in front of him, and Eddie behind.

Just as the bell made its final trill, a severe—but still attractive, damn it—man with dark hair and a quick gait entered.

“Good to see none of you forgot your manners over the summer,” he said as he set a briefcase on his desk and perused the class. His eyes landed on Barry sharp enough to make him tense. “Ah yes, our transfer. You were intended to meet with the principal before class, Mr…” he opened his briefcase and started paging through papers.

“Barry?” Barry said too much like a question; he should know his own name! The severe man’s eyes flicked up as if annoyed he’d spoken without permission. “Sorry! I didn’t realize I was supposed to—"

“It's fine. I am the instructor for Class A, Mr. Wells. Since you’re here, Barry, why don’t you tell us about yourself.”

Okay, maybe he was being asked to get up in front of the class to spill his life story like he’d feared.

“Relax,” Wells said. “Short, sweet, and only what you want to share. Remember, first and foremost here, pretend you’re in Anywhere, America, and you are a normal student moving to a normal town.”

Pretend? That was the truth, though the strange directive did help calm Barry’s nerves. He stood to address the class.

“Okay, umm…I’m Barry. I turned eighteen a few days ago. I um…I’m just me, no parents. I grew up with my uncle. And I’m excited to be here because…because I needed something new and this seems like everything I could hope for.” He really didn’t mean for his eyes to land on Len as he said that, but the alluring smirk that aimed back at him made him forget who he was for a moment. “I-I like science and sci-fi movies and far too many types of junk food. That’s all.” He sat like a total goon, wishing he could hide.

A few of the kids snickered, but not in a mean way. Everyone still looked welcoming, so Barry tried to relax.

“Very good,” Wells said. “Why don’t we break the ice a bit more with everyone and then you can go check in with the principal for housekeeping. Students, as you know, you are seniors this year. After graduation, you go out into the world. That means a certain level of professionalism is expected on school grounds at all times. However…” he smiled subtly, “why don’t we let you get any last minute tomfoolery out of your systems now. For the next fifteen minutes, and not again for the rest of the year unless in your dorms…everyone can take on their true form.”

A smattering of laughter and cheers filtered through the students, while Barry blinked confusion.

“Um…what?”

He should have gone to see the principal first, he really should have, because mere moments after that, he was in the middle of a nightmare.

Kara was the first he noticed since she was in front of him, the way she seemed to fade until she was a mere shadow of herself like an apparition. Barry thought he must be imagining it, until he looked around at everyone else.

Cisco at his left had got up to stretch his legs, making him slightly taller now because his legs resembled those of a goat with hooves, and horns had sprouted from out of his hair like little nubs.

Lisa, kiddy-corner from Barry, grew taller too, her feet like a raptor’s, hands monstrous claws, and bat-like wings grew from her back along with a tail and pointed longer horns, all in shades of glittering bronze and gold.

Caitlin, kiddy-corner the other way, was no longer brunette but had almost white hair, with ice hugging her strikingly paler skin that contained a tinge of blue.

Whirling around, Barry looked at Iris behind Cisco, her legs completely gone as tentacles spread out black beneath her.

Then he made a slow circle as his heartrate began to skyrocket and the visions didn’t go away.

Eddie next to Iris, eyes glowing like an animal with fangs in his mouth.

Sara beside Eddie, with even more animalistic eyes, deadly claws, and fur spouting around her body.

Nyssa, beside her, slithered up taller because her bottom half had become a snake, eyes slit and tongue forked as it hissed out between her lips.

Mick in front of Nyssa was like Lisa but different, body covered in red scales around his horns, wings, and clawed hands and feet, with fire snorting from his nostrils.

And Ralph—okay, Ralph was less scary, since at first Barry couldn’t even see him, until he hopped up onto the top of his desk, a little green goblin much shorter than the tall boy Barry had met.

Finally, his eyes rested on the person beside him, not just sitting nearby, but right at the edge of his desk as Len stood there looking down at Barry, very much like his twin, the same creature as Lisa, but his coloring was navy and silver. That did nothing to dim the glow of his eyes or glint of his fangs.

And it didn’t help that everyone’s clothes had disappeared, and no one seemed to care that they were naked!

“Wh-what…?”

“Mr. Wells, I think we're freaking him out,” Len said as matter-of-factly as any student addressing their teacher. “I promised he wouldn't have to divulge everything the first day. I think he’s shy. It’s actually kinda cute.” He winked at Barry with his fanged smile.

Even Wells at the front of the class had glowing red eyes now and symbols on his skin with strange items floating out of his briefcase to hover around him.

Barry couldn’t breathe. He had to be dreaming. He had to be dreaming.

“Are you okay?” Iris's asked kindly, but when he looked down at her hand on his arm, it wasn’t a hand, it was a tentacle!

Barry pushed so hard out of his chair, he knocked it over and fell onto his back, trying to scramble for a safe corner.

“Barry!” Mr. Wells called menacingly. “I highly doubt revealing your true form is cause for such behavior.”

“I-I don’t have a true form!” Barry clambered to his feet, wishing he was backing toward the door instead of the window. “I only have this form! Just me!”

“You mean you’re a wizard like Mr. Wells?” Kara floated closer to him.

“No,” Eddie answered for Barry, tongue running over his fangs as he drew closer too, “he’s human. He must be. That’s why he smells so good.”

Barry was going to die, right here on the first day of school.

“Nonsense,” Wells said. “A human could never find our grounds.”

“He is though,” Len pushed through the others, perhaps scariest of all, other than maybe Mick, with his gargoyle wings and horns and…well, it was all strangely enticing too, which meant he must be some sort of sex demon and was messing with Barry’s mind! Barry should not find claws and fangs attractive!

But that grin coming closer and the glow of his eyes froze Barry to the spot.

“You are human,” Len said, with a clawed hand reaching for Barry’s face.

“Enough!” Wells yelled, and everyone but Barry had a glowing red string around them that yanked them back to their seats without so much as disrupting a chair.

Wells walked briskly over to Barry, did a complicated gesture, creating a glowing sigil in the air that shot forward at Barry’s face.

“Now you’ll all see that he’s actually…” Wells trailed, blinking his red eyes in incomprehension at whatever his symbol throwing was causing him to see on Barry’s face. “Human,” he whispered with a frown. “You are human. That’s impossible. I need to see Principal Singh about this.

“Everyone!” he whirled back around to face the class. “Behave yourselves while I’m gone.” Turning back to Barry with another complicated hand gesture, this time the glowing light was green, several rune-like symbols forming a square that shifted forward and then down at Barry’s feet, like a cage that shot light up toward the ceiling all around him.

When he tried to move forward, he discovered it was a cage because he couldn’t get past the barrier. “Hey! Wait, I—”

“I will be right back,” Wells said and hurried from the room.

Leaving Barry with his…classmates, utterly trapped.

Every single one of them got out of their chairs once Wells was gone.

“P-p-please…”

“Barry, don’t be scared,” Kara said, floating still, mostly translucent like a beautiful blue fairy or wind spirit. Maybe that’s what she was, and as she came closer, part of her became more tangible, or maybe Barry was just getting used to looking at her like that. “None of us would eat you or anything. Well…I suppose Eddie would,” she nodded at Eddie, the vampire, who was looking at Barry hungrily. “And maybe Mick. And I suppose Iris could—”

“Please stop trying to make me feel better,” Barry said miserably as he looked at each of the creatures before him, Len last, who pushed his way to the front again. “You’d eat me too, wouldn’t you? You said I smell good.”

“You do,” Len said. “Like the best meal I could ever imagine. But I’m a Cubi.”

Barry’s eyes bulged, recognizing that the hunger from Len was definitely unique from anyone else’s—well, besides his sister, though she seemed more interested in Cisco, thank goodness. Still, he knew Len was a sex demon “L-like an incubus?”

“I’m more of a switch, I think. I haven’t decided yet. Lisa and I only just had our sexual awakening, so we haven’t fed from a human before.”

“A…switch?”

Lisa smiled at Barry like he was oh so quaint. “Incubus means to lie upon, succubus to lie beneath, no gender involved, honey, just…preference.”

Barry understood with a vivid picture in his mind of Len first above and then beneath him. “O-oh.”

“But the point is,” Kara pressed on as self-appointed ambassador of the group, “no one’s going to hurt you. If there was some sort of mistake, they’ll just erase your memories and send you back to the human realm.”

“I’m not in the human realm now?!” Barry exclaimed.

The others laughed.

“Not anymore, Rookie,” Ralph said, startling Barry with his same voice coming out of that little goblin.

“The whole point of this school is so we can blend in with humans without drawing attention,” Caitlin explained, frost emanating off her in lovely waves.

“Really?” Barry said meekly. “But no…no, I can’t go home either. My uncle, he’s not really my uncle, and I don’t trust him anymore. I think my mother sent me here to protect me from him.”

That had everyone looking at each other in concern.

Nyssa spoke for the first time, her voice a sultry hiss, “And who was your mother?”

“Children!” Wells barged back in, though no one rushed back to their seats this time. “Give me room at least,” he said as he pushed through them, looking startled now and…wary? Of Barry?

He seemed almost hesitant when he waved his hand to dissipate the green barrier, then did one more gesture that drew a glowing red symbol that resembled an upside-down pentagram.

“Apparently, he only seems human because the spell I used before couldn’t detect…this.”

The pentagram flew at Barry like the previous symbol had, and almost instantly, everyone, Wells included, backed up a step, looking fearful.

No…in awe.

“What? What is it?” Barry asked, turning around to look at himself in the reflection of the window. The red pentagram was still glowing in front of his forehead, but it soon faded and was not what caused Barry to stare.

When he was a little boy, he loved books on mythology and monsters and fantastical creatures. What he saw around his otherwise familiar face was an amalgamation of so many of those things that he almost thought he must be looking at someone else.

His eyes were gold and shimmering, the faintest of fangs in his mouth like so many of the others, with red ram-like horns coiling from his head, ending in golden points. His skin had a rosy glow to it, and there was much more of his skin on display because his uniform had disappeared like the others, forming a red sash at his waist to cover him.

His hands had fairly small claws instead of nails, but they were also gold, his feet far more changed since they were almost like lion paws with reddish fur and gold claws there as well. The fur gave way to his skin up his legs, but there were red and gold scales at various places all over him, framing his body like glittering jewels.

From his lower back sprouted a long plume of red and gold feathers, and just beneath that was a long lion’s tail, like he was a griffin, bird and beast and scaled lizard all in one.

Most impressive though was his wings, both feathered and scaled, red and gold like all the rest with clawed hooks at the top and very ends.

When he turned around, everyone but Len was on their knees. Then Len too lowered himself with a whispered, “It’s you. The lost prince.”

“…what?”

Len bowed his head. “You’re the Demon Lord, Barry.”