#there's smth intimate about how their shoes are so close together

[candyunicornsateme]

real sad doodling hours

Happy October 🧡

[madmilkboi]

ᨳ running in circles

➜ 𝘀𝐮𝗺𝗺𝐚𝗿𝘆: you and suna would never let each other go even if it was suffocating and toxic.

➜ 𝗴𝐞𝗻𝗿𝐞: angst

➜ 𝘄𝐚𝗿𝗻𝐢𝗻𝗴/𝘀: toxic relationship, cheating, mentions of alcohol, cursing i think that's all lmao

➜ 𝗽𝐚𝐢𝗿𝐢𝗻𝗴: suna rintaro x gn!reader

a/n: here's an angsty suna fic that i wrote at 2 am also pls listen to circles by post malone while reading this to feel smth lmao n e ways i don't condone this type of behavior if ever ur s/o is acting like sht leave em babes u deserver better mwa xoxo

You woke up to the sound of the car being parked in the garage, you looked at the clock and saw that it was 3 am, a dreadful hour really. You stood up from the bed and walked downstairs carrying your phone.

You were welcomed with a sober Suna, red and purple hickes trailed all over his neck and collarbone while the corners of his lips were stained with a faint red lipstick. He looked at you, his sharp gaze acted like a dagger, impaling your already battered heart.

His once loving eyes were cold, empty—a void even. Suna's love for you was long gone, not even a bit was left but he can't seem to let go of you. He doesn't want to be alone so he kept you and so did you. You both know that the love is getting hostile but stayed for the sake of company.

"Have you ate dinner yet?" You asked, worried if he even had a nice meal, well he sure did in an intimate way. "Not hungry" he answered, he took off his shoes and walked upstairs not even sparing you a single glance. A lump formed on your throat hearing his heavy steps.

You let out a heavy breath and silently followed him, he sat on the bed looking at the dreadful grey walls. You walked to the other side of the bed and layed down, facing the opposite side.

As he felt the weight of the mattress shift. He can't help but look at you, his eyes lingering at your back. He was reminiscing the times when both you and him would fall asleep hugging each other. He missed the warmth, the pointless yet fun conversations and the intimacy you both shared but now even if you and him were in the same room, it felt like you were so far away from him. So distant and out of reach.

As he was looking at you, he felt a tear leave his eye. Though he thinks that there was no more love left for you, there still was and it hurted him so much, the fact that everytime he shows you genuine affection you doubt and think that it was to cover up something that he did.

But it was his fault after all, he was the reason why you developed trust issues and he hated himself because of that. He would always regret the morning after he's slept with another person while you waited for him the whole night.

He sighed, and took off his shirt feeling the coldness of the room. As he was about to close his eyes, he heard a sniffle from your direction.

—

You cursed at yourself for letting out a loud sound. You were currently sobbing, well what's new? You do that every night to relieve yourself from the growing pain your heart was feeling.

You covered your mouth while your tears dripped from your face. You couldn't take it, every night he sleeps with another person and sometimes would even bring them home and that hurted so much. And the fact that he was in the same room broke you even more.

You couldn't take it anymore, You stood up and grabbed your phone and wallet, texting a friend at the process. Suna only looked at you for a few minutes until he realized what you were about to do.

You walked down the stairs taking each step carefully since you can't see well because of your blurry vision. He hurriedly stood up and chased after you downstairs. He grabbed your arm and looked at you with soft glistening eyes.

"Please don't leave" he pleaded, he doesn't want to be alone.

"Rin, let's end this..." you muttered through sobs. "Please?" You looked at him with puffy eyes.

He shooked his head, his lips forming a thin line. "We can fix this" he says as he rubs your cheeks with his thumbs.

Stop lying, please.

"We can't" you mumbled, eyes downcast. "It's hopeless. We're hopeless" you let out a sad chuckle. He shooked his head once again and pointed at himself.

"I'll change my ways" he told you.

Lies. He thought to himself, no matter how much he has said that to you he never really changed and he was fully aware of that. His lifestyle was goodly intoxicating—like a drug he'd say.

You looked at him, you really wanted to let go of him, of this toxic relationship but something was stopping you and it was the fact that you'd have no more Rin to wake up to, take care of and of course to love.

"I love you" the three words that were music to your ears. The only lie that you love hearing.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. "I love you so fucking much" you gave up, surrendering on his arms, melting by the warmth of his skin. "So please, don't leave" you nodded your head and rubbed his back. "I won't" you whispered placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Let's go back to bed" he held your hand and lead you upstairs to your shared bedroom. The both of you layed down and embraced each other.

Like the seasons here on Earth everything changes just like your love shifting from hot to cold, it was like a merry go round going in circles, a constant loop of breaking up and getting back together. No matter how you and him run away from each other you still both end up cradled in each others arm, longing for the spark that once fueled your love.

©️ madmilkboi 2021 do not copy or repost

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