#there's no reason for this set - i just really love the lighting/landscape + i think she looks really pretty here <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thefrogman · 7 months ago

Note

Recently I took a panorama of the Pittsburgh skyline at night that got a positive response. That was done on the spur of the moment with an iPhone. I want to do that again and more, but this time with a dedicated camera setup. It's been years since I've had one, so I'm basically starting over again. I'm mostly interested in getting day and night cityscapes, and maybe the carryings-on at this year's Anthrocon. Would you have any particular knowledge to pass on as I set off on this journey?

Since you didn't specify a budget I'm going to assume it is in the $10K range.

And you're probably thinking I'm going to suggest a Leica. Every dentist and his brother (who is also a dentist) gets a Leica. But I just can't take a camera brand seriously when they charge you an extra $2200 for the privilege of not being able to shoot in color.

Sure, you can hit a single button in Lightroom to get B&W and save some money, but then you won't be able to brag about how limiting yourself to only shades of gray has opened up new artistic pathways in your brain while a clueless person responds in mumbles during their root canal.

What you really want for your landscapes is a Hassie.

They were the first camera on the moon! How could you *not* want a Hasselblad? That is some camera gorgeousness right there. And it's so reasonably priced*!

*compared to their previous $40,000 camera systems.

And if you are doing landscapes with the Hassie you'll need a nice wide angle lens to go with it. This one is actually quite affordable*!

*compared to their previous $8000 lenses.

Can we all agree that is a work of art? They even use their H logo as the knurling.

That is just so... extra. And I love it.

Out of the entire alphabet I've heard Hs give you the best grip.

Man, I almost wish I was a dentist just so I could buy a fancy camera.

Sorry... I was just having a little fun.

I never get to recommend the super cool expensive cameras. Because, ya know, the economy and the fact that only dentists have Hasselblad money.

You probably think I'm being silly but there actually is an entire community of dentist photographers keeping the high end camera market alive.

Okay, let's get started...

Landscape Buying Guide

Opening Thoughts

For landscapes I would highly suggest a full frame camera and a high quality wide angle lens.

Full frame has several advantages but it is not necessary. You can go with a smaller sensor like APS-C and get great images. Personally I would not go any smaller, but there have been some great landscapes taken on micro 4/3 and even smartphones. Technique, knowledge, experience, and composition will usually win the day over a camera, but having a nice camera makes things a lot easier.

At this point, with full frame options being very affordable now, the main reason to get a smaller sensor is if you want a smaller system that is easier to carry for extended periods and easier to pack when traveling. Or if you aren't sure you want to take on photography as a hobby, you can get an old APS-C DSLR for under $200 to learn with and test out.

So if you need a very cheap OR very compact system, APS-C and Micro 4/3 might be worth considering, but a bigger sensor will cause less frustration most of the time.

Froggie Note: The expensive Micro 4/3 and APS-C systems are the compact ones. The cheap systems are about as bulky as full frame.

The biggest advantages to full frame are low light shooting, lens selection, and field of view. Full frame cameras have many, many more lenses to choose from. And since the sensor is bigger, it is much easier to get a wider field of view that is often needed for landscapes. And the high ISO noise performance tends to be better on full frame.

However, you can use full frame lenses on APS-C camera bodies within the same ecosystem. They just get a little... zoomier. Roughly 1.5x zoomier. A 35mm acts like a 50mm, for example. So if you want to spend a little less now you can get an APS-C camera with a full frame lens and then upgrade to full frame later on without having to buy a new lens. Full frame lenses work on APS-C bodies but not the other way around.

Most landscapists have a really solid 16-35mm lens and that covers almost all of their needs. So I would suggest something comparable. Please don't get suckered into some crazy 18-300mm superzoom. Just get the focal range you need for the photos you want to achieve.

A purpose-built lens always outperforms one that was made to do everything.

As far as where to get used gear, I highly recommend using KEH or MPB when buying used camera bodies. They check every device and offer between 3 and 6 months warranty to make sure the device won't crap out on you. Lenses are typically a lot more robust and a safer thing to buy on eBay or Facebook Marketplace if you can find a better deal. But the security of having a warranty and a return apparatus if something goes wrong might be worth the extra price when using these two sites.

I am going to recommend Canon, Nikon, and Sony systems. I feel they have the most complete ecosystems with gear that spans all budget ranges. I'm not saying there aren't good cameras from other brands, but you have to remember every camera has an ecosystem surrounding it. There are accessories and upgrade paths and niche lenses that may not be available with other brands. I think Fuji has some tempting options and if you like the look of vintage film photography, their emulation options are quite stunning. Their cameras are also quite attractive and have very satisfying knobs. But I still can't recommend them unless you have a specific reason for wanting their gear.

Just remember that for every Canon DSLR I recommend there is a comparable Nikon option available as well. There are more lenses for a Canon full frame DSLR body than any other brand with Nikon coming in a close second.

So if you choose not to go mirrorless yet, the Canon and Nikon DSLR camera ecosystems are immense and have tons of gear and accessories available to go with them. And since used gear holds up really well, those ecosystems will survive for decades.

Should you buy a mirrorless camera or a DSLR?

Mirrorless cameras are the latest camera technology for interchangeable lens camera systems. At this point they are superior in every aspect and they continue to improve year by year. Because of that, used DSLRs have plummeted in price. This allows people greater access to a starter ILC (interchangeable lens camera) without a significant investment. You can get professional quality images on either format, but mirrorless has a shallower learning curve and much better automatic modes.

The in-body image stabilization (IBIS) stabilizes *every* lens and the eye tracking autofocus make "focus and re-compose" extinct. These are huge selling points for a lot of people. With IBIS you can take photos with up to 2-4 second shutter speeds without a tripod. And never missing focus on a human or animal or bird is pretty cool too.

DSLR camera bodies are no longer being designed by most of the major manufacturers. Thankfully Canon and Nikon developed plenty of bodies and lenses, so you will always have options and upgrade paths. But you will not be able to upgrade to systems with the latest advanced features.

The best DSLRs available are probably the Nikon D850 and the Canon 5D Mark IV. That is as good as it will ever get. The technology ends there. So if you want to enter an active camera ecosystem then you will have to get a mirrorless camera.

DSLR Camera Systems

Full Frame DSLR Camera Bodies

Canon

If you buy a used DSLR, there are some very affordable full frame options. In fact, the classic much-praised budget full frame Canon 6D can be had for under $300 right now.

This is an old camera. It has no fancy features. It only has 20 megapixels. It just does what it says on the tin. But it has a big sensor and a *ton* of really cool lenses available for it.

If you are specifically looking to create really high resolution panos, you could also look at the 50 megapixel 5DS R for around $1000.

There is a community of landscape pano-maniacs that love to create "gigapans" that have endless amounts of detail where you can zoom in and find new details in every photo. I was only able to create a 120 megapixel photo, but you can still find things like people starting a campfire and a dude fishing and a truck on a far off bridge. So even though this seems expensive for a DSLR, you are looking at another thousand bucks to find anything with more megapixels than this bad boy, so it is quite a good deal relatively speaking.

Nikon

Probably the best DSLRs ever made were the Nikon D800 series and you can get the Nikon D800 for $464.

This is a newer camera than the 6D with more megapixels (36) and a better sensor. It also has a more modern autofocus system and about 3 more stops of dynamic range which can come in handy for landscapes. This is an incredible camera for this price.

APS-C DSLR Camera Bodies

If you aren't sure you want to commit to this hobby, you can look into a Canon APS-C sensor body like the Canon Rebels and Canon 60D through 90D models and get good results.

And there are many Nikon DX APS-C bodies that would be great starter cameras as well. If you get a Nikon, you'd have an upgrade path to the D800 if you get hooked by the photography bug. I would miss a few very special Canon lenses like the 100mm f/2.8L macro and the 400mm f/5.6 telephoto but I'm sure I could figure out some reasonable Nikon alternatives that would do roughly the same thing.

Canon APS-C

There is a Canon 60D for $139 right now that would be perfectly adequate for landscape work on a tripod.

That was my first camera and I took some very nice photos with it. Only 18 megapixels but it has a very convenient flippy screen which was really helpful for a disabled photographer trying to get low angles.

This was in 2014 and I didn't know what I was doing but that is a pretty stellar-looking sunset for a (now) $140 camera.

Nikon APS-C

And the Nikon D3400 would be a great option as well at around $184.

You get some extra megapixels (24) and it is a bit newer than the Canon. I get the sense that used Nikon DSLRs give you more value for your money right now but I don't have a large enough sample size to confirm that.

Full Frame DSLR Lenses

Froggie Note: I am recommending full frame lenses even if you choose an APS-C DSLR body so you have an upgrade path. But also very few purpose-built APS-C lenses had superior glass. Just remember, crop sensor APS-C cameras add ~1.5x to your focal length. So a 16-35mm will have the equivalent field of view of a 24-50mm lens. Still quite acceptable for landscapes, but you may benefit from doing panoramas more often. And if you upgrade to full frame down the road, you'll already have the ideal lens.

Canon DSLR Lenses

If you get the 6D or another Canon you could pair it with the beloved-by-landscapists Canon 16-35mm f/4L.

Honestly, it is blowing my mind you can get that combo for under $600. Me from 12 years ago is super jealous right now.

If you are worried you might need something to work in lower light and still want a zoom, the f/2.8L starts at around $434.

This might be the most famous landscape lens of all time. Kinda boggles the mind how many gorgeous vistas this thing has captured the light of.

If you can live without the zoom, you could get a much sharper prime lens that can also be used in even lower light. A used Sigma 24mm f/1.4 Art lens is $439 would be a fantastic option.

24mm is still a very good focal length for landscapes and the sharpness of this lens lends well to panoramic stitches. Seriously, these art lens are so freaking sharp. Although 35mm is typically preferred for most street photography, I think this would do great for that purpose as well. It couldn't do close up portraits, but 3/4 and full body portraits would look great. I also love this focal length for doggos. It enlarges their heads a bit which enhances adorable-ness.

Though I probably wouldn't recommend the 24mm on APS-C for landscapes as it would put you near a 40mm full frame equivalent field of view.

Nikon DSLR Lenses

And on the Nikon side of things you could get the Nikkor 16-35mm f/4 for $399.

This is a great lens too. Very comparable to the Canon L glass. And paired with that D800 you would have a better shooting experience than with the 6D if it fits within your budget.

It's a little harder to find, but you can also get that same Sigma 24mm f/1.4 Art lens for Nikon at around $528 used on Amazon and in the $400 range on KEH and MPB when it is available.

The older and softer Nikkor 28mm f/1.8 is a little more affordable and easier to find.

What if you are not a dentist but are willing to save up for something a little nicer?

Enter the world of...

Mirrorless Camera Systems

Sony currently has my favorite ecosystem of mirrorless cameras and lenses and they are consistently ahead of the other brands as far as technology and features. In fact, many other manufacturers use Sony sensors. They literally supply their competition with their own tech. They are also pretty good about updating firmware—even with older models. So I feel like Sony has a lot of future-proofing advantages over other brands. Sony has a great selection of 3rd party lenses like Sigma, Tamron, Viltrox, Laowa, Samyang, etc. These lenses often have nearly the same optical quality as Sony's G Master lenses at a fraction of the price.

Full Frame Mirrorless

Currently, I think the best value full frame mirrorless camera for landscapes would be the Sony a7R III.

This is very nearly a top-of-the-line landscape camera for a little over $1200.

That might sound like a lot, but I want to be clear...

This isn't just decent. This isn't "good enough." This is a spectacular professional grade full frame camera.

10 years ago you could spend $6500 for a *worse* camera. 5 years ago you could spend $3000 for a *worse* camera.

It can do every genre of photography except for maybe fast paced sports/action. It has an amazing 42 megapixels—which are not necessary but they do make editing and printing a lot less of a headache. The file sizes can get a little big, but storage is a lot cheaper than it used to be.

Oh, and it can be used for professional quality 4K video work too.

The a7R III comes with all of the modern bells and whistles including in-body stabilization (IBIS) so you can handhold at very slow shutter speeds. It has one of the best autofocus systems—complete with eye tracking. But not just human eyes! Dog eyes. Cat eyes. Bird eyes. If it has an eye, the Sony can probably lock focus on it. And it has an admirable 10 fps burst shooting mode.

APS-C Mirrorless

If you want to enter the Sony ecosystem but can't afford full frame quite yet, you could do the a6400 for about $600.

You still get the eye-tracking and the in-body stabilization, but you will lose some image quality at higher ISOs due to the smaller sensor size. However, you can get the same full frame E-mount lenses for it and upgrade to a bigger sensor later on and not have to buy new lenses.

Mirrorless Landscape Lenses

I think a good value landscape lens would be the very impressive Tamron 20-40mm f/2.8.

This is a newer lens so there aren't many deals on used options yet. But this is still a great price for the quality and versatility you get. You will never regret spending a little more on glass.

The 20mm range can fit an entire cityscape in the frame without needing to do a panorama. But if you zoom to 40mm and mount the camera vertically, you could stitch together several photos to get well over the 100 megapixel range.

Also, the 40mm focal range is long enough to do street photography and even head & shoulder portraits. The wide f/2.8 aperture combined with the high-ISO friendly full frame sensor and in-body stabilization means you can shoot in very low light without a tripod. You can also get some great pictures of stars if you travel to someplace with minimal light pollution.

The cheapest landscape zoom lens I could find was the Sony 16-35mm f/4 at $384.

It's one of Sony's older lenses and may not take advantage of all of the a7R III's pixels, but it would be a good option to get you started in this system and upgrade the lens later on.

Mirrorless Prime Lenses

Zoom lenses are great but you have to spend more to get tolerable quality. Kit zooms can be softer than even the tiny plastic lenses on your phone. So a great way to stretch your budget is to get multiple fixed focal length "prime" lenses. Primes can be built inexpensively while still having good low light performance and decent sharpness.

For instance, you could start with something like the Tamron 20mm f/2.8 for $175. And if you want to do more than landscapes you could add the Sony 50mm f/1.8 for $170 later on. Cheap primes will outperform any of those mediocre kit zoom lenses in that same price range. You lose some versatility and have to deal with the pain of changing lenses or zooming with your feet, but sometimes a tight budget demands a little pain.

There is also a higher quality 3rd party wide angle prime lens that is very popular right now. The Viltrox 16mm f/1.8 is only $549 and the reviews say it has similar quality to lenses 3 times its price.

If you have to choose between a better camera body or a better lens, a good lens will help your photos more than a fancy camera body.

Froggie Note: These are examples. You should always do your own research before making a major technological purchase. This post could be a year old by the time you see it and there could be new stuff that is better. But all of the principles I tried to convey should hopefully guide you to a good decision. Also, feel free to message me if you want to ask about specific gear you are considering purchasing.

More Resources

This is my Encyclopedia of Lens Terms which is a helpful primer in understanding all of the wonderful and different lens options available on ILCs.

This is my buying guide for low budget used DSLRs. Similar to this post but less geared toward landscapes.

And this guide for getting decent landscape photos with any camera.

This is a free tutorial that teaches you everything you need to get started with an ILC system.

youtube

And this free tutorial by Karl Taylor is quite good as well.

#photography #long post

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kylorengarbagedump · 20 days ago

Text

Playing Soldier: Chapter 17

Read on AO3. Part 16 here.

Summary: You finally head home to see your sister. Wretchedly, you aren't alone in the desire to see her.

Words: 6800

Warnings: None

Characters: William Tavington x Reader

A/N: Co-written with @bastillia.

Enter Plot, our beloved <3

While smut is old hat for both of us, I think we both have been really trying to push ourselves with character, dialogue, and plot with this fic. Is it a lot? Is it just enough? Am I asking too many questions?

Thank you so much, all of you, always <3 It's our goal to get a chapter out at least every two weeks - with the complexities that are building in addition to the holidays and all the traveling we seem to do for some god-forsaken reason, we hope that's okay!!

Love y'all so much!! See you soon <3

Beyond the shade of the wagon canvas, the sun reached its zenith. Between the thudding of rocks in your bones, the constant sway from the uncertain trundle of the wheels, and how you'd had to fight for a spot to sleep in the mass of camp followers, the warmth of sun rays was the only reprieve in discomfort you could find. Five days of waking to your body’s complaints, however, had yet to dampen your excitement. Red clay now soaked the dirt roads, cast them in copper. The air smelled like home.

You'd spent most of your journey curled to yourself, attempting to hide your now-fading bruises after Lottie had been generous enough to lend you a neckerchief with a modest silhouette. It had given others the impression of frigidity, but you cared little. You had no interest in speaking with any of the other camp followers and even less interest in speaking with any of the soldiers. In particular, Patrick Ferguson.

Ferguson had explained the day you set out that he would be dropping you off on his way north, and to your recollection, also attempted to explain that he would be calling upon your sister when you arrived. But the moment he had begun to clarify his intentions his words had jumbled to nonsense in your ears. He seemed to believe that the more earnest he appeared, the less he’d repulse you.

On the contrary—-it only made him more insufferable.

The wagon smacked a dip in the road and you yelped, wincing at the impact to your nethers. Though you were in far less pain than you'd been on Sunday evening, there was still a shrinking ball of tenderness clenched between your thighs. If this was what it was like to lose your innocence, you shuddered to imagine the pain of childbirth. Perhaps it was similar to intercourse: painted in fair light in the aftermath of its culmination.

Then again, you were coming to realize that pain was a part of sex you liked.

Heat flushed your cheeks. Much to your great vexation, William had haunted your thoughts since he'd departed the room you had shared in Middleton Place. It wouldn’t concern you if you'd been preoccupied with your physical attraction to him, as you'd been for the past few months. No, instead, these ruminations covered such questions as, what was he doing; what did he feel regarding your time together; was he thinking of you just as you were of him?

It disgusted you. And yet you wondered all the same.

You wanted, in fact, to create a portrait of William Tavington’s emotional landscape—or at least identify which colors to start with. As it stood, he seemed possessed only by a singular drive: ambition. Ambition which would see you and those you loved buried beneath the dirt.

Outside, you heard the shouting of men ripple back through the unit, and your wagon ambled to a stop. You peeked from the front flap of the wagon, and your heart soared. You recognized every branch of every tree.

“Oh, thank the beautiful forgiving and gracious Lord,” you whispered.

Without any other hesitation, you leapt from the back of the wagon and hit the ground so firmly your teeth clacked. The line of soldiers in front of you stared, as though you’d just emerged from an ox’s twat and not a perfectly normal artillery wagon. Irritated, you leered back—what you had to do was far more important than their attention—and made to turn, only to catch a familiar profile passing the corner of your eye. One you hadn’t seen since the beginning of this journey.

“Goddard?” You turned, brow raised, watching him march a column of men past you in the direction of town. “Benedict Goddard, is that you?”

Goddard’s face tightened, his eyes averting your gaze. When he didn’t stop, you trotted up to fall into step with him and he winced. “I’m, ah, not at leisure to speak presently,” he said, straightening. “But it’s good to see you, miss, do enjoy your afternoon.”

“But what brings you…” You glanced around. “Has your unit separated from Colonel Tavington’s legion?”

“Yes,” he said quickly. “A temporary reassignment.” He cleared his throat, looking forward. “My duties bring me under Major Ferguson's command. And that's all I'm at liberty to reveal to you.”

You balked, jaw dropping. A few soldiers in the rear of the column with him glanced at you, as if you were committing a grave sin by daring to even address him. Any other day would see you mocking his behavior and admonishing him for pretending as if you hadn't stayed in his home for weeks. But in this moment, you were a short sprint from your home, from your sister. You didn't have time to mind.

“Good day to you then, Ensign.” With that, you plucked up your skirts and ran towards the farm.

The heat of summer brought no strain to your breath, the weight of your petticoats no hindrance to your legs. You gripped them high in your fists, flying at full speed down the dirt road that led to your home. As you broke from the trees, greeted by your flourished fields and little house, you nearly erupted into a sob—until, of course, you spotted a bay horse hitched at the steps to your porch.

And then Patrick Ferguson at your front door, bowing in half, only to be embraced by your sister.

“Major!” Grace cried, gazing up at him with saucer-sized eyes. “I—my goodness, I'm not prepared at all to receive you.” She released him, adjusting her hair. “I can't believe you're…”

Her eyes drifted, falling onto you. She dropped her arms and burst forward, almost knocking Ferguson to the side as she trampled the steps, shouted your name, and careened toward you.

“Grace!” was all you had the time to say before she was on you.

Like magnets, you collided together, each binding the other in her arms. Laughter and warmth exploded between you, and you whirled in a circle, carried by her momentum. You buried your face in her shoulder, squeezed her tight, forgetting, for a blissful moment, that you'd ever been separated.

“Oh, my darling sister, I have so terribly missed you,” she murmured.

You grinned, rumpling her hair. “Not even half so terribly as I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, don’t be an arse,” Grace laughed, and aimed a noncommittal kick at your ankle.

In evading it, you nearly toppled both of you into a giggling heap in the grass. You stabilized, then held her for another breath before unwrapping her from your arms. Still smiling, tears rimming her eyes, she examined you, brow furrowing as she studied your messy hair, the exhaustion in your gaze.

“What are you…” She looked back between you and Ferguson. “Has he delivered you to me?” she said, a wry smile breaking her face.

You ignored how that made you want to sneer at him. “In a sense,” you said, “though I'm not to stay for long, I'm afraid.”

She frowned. “No? What… why ever not?” Her shoulders fell. “Are you still meant to serve in the field hospital?”

“Yes,” you replied, “but let's discuss it later. I'm here at least for the next few days.”

“Really!” Her face brightened, and she launched into another hug, humming as she held you. You sighed in relief, rubbing her back. “Well,” she said, pulling away, “come inside then.” She grabbed your hand, leading you to the door. “Major Ferguson, please tell me you can join us for tea?”

You grimaced. “Oh, I don't—”

“Certainly,” he said. “I'm sure the men would appreciate the rest before we resume our march.” He stepped toward her, taking her free hand and pressing his lips to it. “And I'm sure I requested you call me Patrick, Miss—”

“Wonderful!” Smiling, she looked between you both, clearly overjoyed to have each of you in arms’ reach. She opened the door, allowed you inside before she looked toward Ferguson. “And please, I'm sure I requested you call me Grace.”

You grumbled at their apparent affinity, then did your best to disregard him as you walked inside. The scent of oak fogged your head, your gaze flicking over every slat of wood composing the walls, ears pricked to receive every creak in rhythm as you made your way toward the kitchen. Motes of dust swirled in the sunlight as you passed. The furniture looked swept clean of even a speck.

Your father had built your house with his bare hands, and as such, it wasn't large—beyond the front door, the stairs split the home in two, one side with the kitchen and dining space, the other a modest room to receive company. The second floor had only two bedrooms, each on one side. And despite its size, for a brief moment, you understood how lonely it could feel to be the only one within it. To be the single resident of a home that no longer housed the family it was built for, to sleep in a room where all you could gaze at was a second, empty bed to remind of their absence.

Swallowing the lead ball lodged in your throat, you entered the kitchen. Almost everything was as you remembered, though the organization had blossomed under Grace’s stewardship. With a near-painful pang of familiarity, you went through the motions of filling the kettle from the water barrel and nestling it into the bed of live embers in the cooking hearth.

“Please, have a seat,” you heard Grace say. “Have they begun issuing your rifle, yet? I’ve so been looking forward to good news.”

“Ah, not yet, I’m afraid. The expense and time of it all has inhibited its production.”

She scoffed. “Expense and time? Are those not investments an army should make? Perhaps especially so for a brilliant innovation?”

“I don’t disagree, but I cannot force—”

“If forcing a thing will break it, then you must bend it, of course,” she said, that devilish lilt in her tone. “Seems to me you should write out a letter—did you not tell me even the most fractious of your generals can be enticed by persuasion? You’re far too clever to not convince them.”

“Perhaps,” Patrick replied, a smile in his voice, “though I recall you to be far more effective with persuasion than I am.”

“Oh, really?” Grace said. “What inspires such a comment?”

“I’ll indict myself no further.”

A giggle. “I'll assist you after tea, then. Where I think we’ll start is…”

You silently retched, distracting yourself from their conversation by sweeping over to examine the tea shelf. Though for as long as you had known it, Papa had always kept it stocked with coffee beans instead. To your surprise, though, his coffee stores were nowhere to be seen, replaced instead by neatly arranged canisters of Bohea and green teas. Lining the rest of the shelf from end to end were jars of dried fruits and herbs.

Just before your eyes could cross themselves at the array of choices, Grace swished to meet you in the kitchen. “Oh,” she said, nodding to the hearth. “Thank you for starting that.” She peeked her head into the dining area. “How do you like your tea?”

“Hot,” he said, and you could practically hear the wink he shot her. “I'm not fussed about the particulars.”

“My speciality, then,” she replied with a grin, and sidled up to you in the kitchen, whispering, “I've never made tea for a man before!” She smothered a giggle beneath her palm. “Pass the green.”

“Not even when he visited you those first few days you were home?” You handed her the canister of green tea leaves. “When did you start keeping tea, anyway?”

“After I got back,” she replied primly as she measured out a portion. “I know Papa feels so strongly about his coffee, but I've always preferred tea.” Then, lowering her voice, “And goodness, no! He would never step foot inside a lady’s home when she's alone. The major is quite the gentleman.”

Eyeing her with half-playful suspicion, you sidled past her to fetch the hot kettle. “Sure he is.”

“I mean it!” she said, moving back to the shelf to pluck a few jars down and balance them in her arms.

You wondered what it would be like if William even approached the definition of gentleman. A small, aggravating part of you opined that you'd find that exceedingly boring.

You crossed back to where Grace had placed the teapot on the counter and poured a small measure of hot water in, swirling it to warm the pot. “You seem quite fond of him.”

Grace straightened, nearly flinging a jar. “Shh!” She tossed a look over her shoulder, then bustled to your side, knocking you with her hip. “You shan't expose me so blatantly!”

You laughed, bumping her back. “As if you aren't plainer than a red rose in a field of dandelions.”

“Perhaps I am,” she replied, glimpsing you with a coy smile, then deposited the tea leaves, plus a handful of dried peach slivers and a sprinkle of rosemary into the pot. “But I think a gentleman would favor the rose, don’t you?”

Rolling your eyes, you poured the rest of the hot water over the tea mixture while Grace loaded a platter with sugar, honey, and cream. The fragrance that bloomed from the pot made your mouth water, but before you could take a deeper whiff, Grace clapped the lid on beneath your nose and swept from the kitchen with the whole spread in hand.

“At your leisure, Patrick.”

“Thank you, Grace.”

You heard her set the platter and cups out on the table. With a final fond shake of your head, you followed.

But the sight when you stepped past the dining room threshold pinned your feet to the floor. Ferguson had decided to take your chair at the dining table. And he sat there, taking a sip of his tea as if he belonged. The back of your neck burned.

“That is outstanding,” he said to Grace, whose attempt at a humble bow of her head in response was overtaken by a beaming smile.

Ferguson’s ever-present, ever-infuriatingly congenial grin faltered as he gazed at you. “Everything well?”

“Oh, yes,” you replied through a jaw locked tighter than a safe. “I'll sit just here.”

In two steps, you cleared the room, pulled out your father's chair, and plopped down in the seat. You fought the instinct to spear him with your stare as you snatched your teacup from the table and slurped from it with such force you inhaled hot tea straight into your lungs.

“D-dammit—” You groaned, coughing up spittle that you then had to swallow with the elegance of a bullfrog. “Excu—” Another hacking fit. “Excuse me—”

Grace grasped your arm. “Are you all right?”

“Goodness,” Ferguson said, leaning forward. “Is there—between the oyster at the party and this, I'm growing concerned.” He looked at Grace as you continued to clear your throat. “Does she have an issue swallowing?”

Blood lit up your cheeks. “No!” You wiped your eyes of the tears brimming there. How dare he suggest you had some sort of incapacity. A memory of William’s cock spending its load down your throat, and you choked again. “I’m very much all right, thank you. No issue swallowing.” Wiggling your shoulders to sit upright, you took your cup again and sipped as daintily as you could, keeping your attention on Grace. “Excellent tea.”

She squeezed your arm before taking a sip herself. “Thank you,” she said. “But what's all this I hear about an oyster? At a party?”

“Your sister and myself had quite the fortuitous encounter at a ball at Middleton Place last week,” Ferguson said as he drank from his cup. “She—”

“I tried to eat an oyster and made a right fool of myself,” you said quickly, since this was your story to tell and not Ferguson's. “Nearly spit up all over the Lord General.”

Grace laughed. “Please tell me you managed to present yourself with a smidgeon of decorum!” Her gaze glittered as if she too were remembering the time you failed to wash your poultice-soaked hands before curtseying to the reverend as a child. You'd stained your skirts green. “She's always been a bit unorthodox,” she said to Ferguson.

He looked at you with something akin to admiration, which irritated you, since you found nothing admirable about him and didn't want to return the favor. “I've observed as much. It must run in the family,” he said, and then glanced at Grace. “It's a quality I think is often undervalued in women.”

Grace pinched her lip between her teeth, hiding a smile you knew wanted to take up her face.

“Yes,” you said, shrugging, “well, our father is an unorthodox man. He raised unorthodox daughters.” You took another slow, calculated sip, gazing at Ferguson over the cup. “Though he still may find the presence of a British officer in his home objectionable.”

Grace kicked you under the table, her face screwing into an expression that seemed as horrified as it was mortified. “Oh, Patrick, she doesn't—”

“Please do not fret,” said Ferguson, his tone soothingly earnest. “I had planned on mentioning it to you. But it was something that became apparent at the party.” He nodded toward you. “Then your sister confirmed it.”

“Oh.” She looked at you, fingers turning pale where she clutched her teacup. “I—I had every intention of telling you, but our father's allegiance hasn't been received kindly by other officers, and—”

“Grace.” He reached across the table and placed a hand on hers. You imagined taking a butter knife and jamming it between his knuckles. “Your father's business is no concern of mine.” He was staring straight at her. She was transfixed. “I seek only your good opinion.”

Grace’s eyes fluttered, and she looked away, hiding her happiness. “You must know you appear far too charming to seem sincere.”

He shrugged. “If that is what damns me, so be it,” he replied with a playful smirk. “I will not regret my attempts to charm you.”

You wanted to groan. Another gooey word and you were certain you'd make good on your stomach’s earlier threat. “All that is well and fine,” you said, “but do you have charm to prevent our father's death should he be captured?” You stared at him. “Does your charm mitigate the losses suffered by our Patriot neighbors as the British Army lays waste to their lands?”

Grace looked at you, hissed your name. You ignored her.

“I've had conversations with more than one British officer, Major,” you said. “And I fear not all of them are as magnanimous as you.”

Ferguson nodded solemnly. “I do not deny your accuracy.” His gaze drifted from Grace to you. “Nor would I deny the difficult position you each occupy as Tories with a rebel father.”

You nodded in return, as if this was completely accurate.

“However,” he said, “it has always been my position that colonials, be they Tory or Patriot, are our brethren. That promoting the benefits of maintaining affiliation with the crown is far more effective than punishing those who seek independence from it.” He frowned. “Though I know you both have unfortunately been acquainted with a certain officer who would disagree in the extreme.”

Grace shrank slightly in her seat, glimpsing you. “Well, unfortunate is putting it lightly.”

A distant twinge in your core. It was unfortunate, wasn't it?

“I am not Colonel Tavington,” Ferguson said. “I have no intention of bringing you harm because of your father's choices, nor would I ask that you disavow him.” His focus returned to Grace, his fingers curled around her wrist. “Allow me to prove it to you.”

Perhaps more unfortunately, Grace did not immediately throw him out of the home as you'd been hoping she would. Her shoulders dropped, and she smiled at him, withdrawing her hand to drink from her teacup, lips tight on the edge.

You knew this look. She was about to erupt with joy.

“Well, if you must insist,” Grace said after swallowing. “Though I shan't make it easy on you.” She placed her cup down, eyebrow raised. “After all, I remember someone offering to write me, and yet I've not received a single letter…”

“Ah.” Ferguson’s gaze found yours. You gave him a blithe smile in return, narrowing your eyes in a dare: assign you blame, or flounder for an excuse.

“Indeed,” he said, flashing Grace a sheepish grin. “Forgive me.” He cleared his throat. He’d chosen to flounder, it seemed. An irritatingly good choice. “I did, ah, encounter a prohibitive factor in that regard—“

“I forbade it,” you announced.

Grace stiffened, strangling her teacup. Slowly, like an aiming cannon, her head swiveled toward you.

“Sister,” she said, and you could hear her rage swarming, a shaken hive beneath the honey of her voice. “Why ever would you do such a thing?”

“I do not find it appropriate,” you answered simply, sipping your tea to avoid her stare.

Grace looked to Ferguson as if for help, but he simply sat back in his—your—chair, yielding the conversation to you with a dip of his head.

You sincerely wished he would stop behaving so damn respectably.

Grace gaped at you, her expression alone demanding an explanation. You thumped your teacup down with a huff.

“It is not appropriate,” you elaborated, “for a man to write a young lady at home whose father is absent and who is unattended by any family at all.” Your shoulders straightened and you swirled your tea, the leaves spinning a tiny vortex. “One might think he means to take advantage.”

With that, you pinned Ferguson with your stare. He met it, earnest and unwavering.

“Never should I wish to give such an impression,” he said, and to your utter annoyance, you believed him. He looked at Grace. “And thus I must stay my pen.”

“You give no such impression and you must do no such thing!” The edge of pain in her plea sawed at your heart.

Ferguson’s brow wrinkled in apology. “I intend to respect your sister’s wishes.”

“And what of my wishes that you not be governed by the labyrinthine principles of my sister’s logic?”

You glared at her. She glared back. Ferguson glanced between you, then knocked the dregs of his tea back and slowly pushed his (your) chair from the table.

“I needn’t intrude on family discussions,” he said. “I should attend to my unit.”

“I’ll walk you out,” you and Grace said in unison.

She glowered at you again. You stood, shooting her a quelling stare. She slumped back in her chair, looking away.

You gave Ferguson a tight grin. “Major?”

He rose and turned to Grace. “Miss—“ He stopped himself, readjusting with a small smile. “Grace,” he said, and bowed, clasping his fist over his heart. “A moment in your company sustains me longer than any fire or feast.”

“Patrick.” Grace shot to her feet, her fingers perched on the table as if she might fling herself across it and into his arms. “Please do not be a stranger.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He gave her a final, gentle smile.

Swallowing the urge to vomit, you opened your arm in an invitation toward the front door. Ferguson ducked out of the dining room, and you followed, attempting to burn a hole through his tall, stupid, handsome, respectful back until you both arrived on the front porch, and you eased the door shut behind you.

The wind rustled the grass, rattled in the leaves. All that was left was to tell Ferguson to leave, to not consider returning. If you opened your mouth, the words would come, but your mind refused to allow them even that far. Grace's hurt tugged at your own soul, soothed even your most basic instinct to bare your teeth. You gazed at him, jaw shifting, and looked away.

“Well,” you said, “I know your men need you. So…”

Ferguson sighed. “I'm aware that you lack trust in me,” he said. “And given what your family has been through, I cannot begrudge you that.”

You glimpsed him, folding your arms over your chest.

“My affections for your sister are sincere. But I would sooner drive a stake through my own chest than seek to drive a wedge in your relationship.”

You chewed your lip.

Ferguson fished a piece of folded parchment from his pocket and held it out to you. On its face was Grace's name in a sharp, pretty script. “I leave you this. You can choose to deliver it. Or not.” His eyes softened. “All of it is in your hands.”

As you studied the letter, your arms fell to your side, frustration hardening in your chest. Guarding Grace's heart and safety was what you thought was most important to you—until that directly gutted her happiness.

Drawing in a deep breath, you snatched the letter from his hand and shoved it into one of your skirt pockets. “Safe travels, Major,” you replied stiffly. “Perhaps I'll see you at Fort Carolina sometime in the future.”

“Miss,” he replied with a bow. He stepped off the porch, untied his horse, and began his journey back to the marching line.

You watched him go, releasing a long exhale. It didn't bring relief.

With that, you spun and entered the house, greeted by the sound of crashing plateware as it was all dumped into the barrel for later washing.

Shutting the door behind you, you sighed, crossing into the dining room. “Grace, I realize I've upset you—”

“Oh, upset doesn't begin to cover it, big sister,” she said, whirling on her heel. “Try outraged. Or humiliated, perhaps.”

“Humiliated?” You stopped a laugh. “Pray, how have I humiliated you?”

“You treated me like a child!” Grace spat. “Like some—some foolish little girl with stars in her eyes!”

“You do have stars in your eyes,” you said, shrugging a shoulder. “All I observed was you blushing and giggling at everything that man said.”

“And so what if I did?” She folded her arms over her chest, scowling at you. “So what if he charms me, so what if he makes me laugh? Am I not entitled to a free heart?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “This is hardly about the freedom of your heart,” you said, gesturing to the door. “This is about your heart's safety. Your safety—”

“Oh, piss on my safety!” she shrieked, advancing on you. “You would've said the same thing of Nathaniel Jones, and he posed all the danger of a rabbit kit.”

“Well,” you said, meeting her toe for toe, “we'll never know, will we? He was killed by redcoats. Just like the one you invited into our home.”

“He was killed by a redcoat,” she whispered through clenched teeth, “a horrible, monster of a man whose character could never approach Patrick’s.”

“You simply cannot know they're that different—”

Grace laughed in a way that sounded familiar. Like an echo of your own indignation. “That man—Tavington—” She sputtered out his name like a curse. “Slapped me. Killed Mary in front of me. Hunted Papa.” The memories made your jaw twitch, made you consider retreating for just an instant. “Patrick has shown me nothing but kindness, understanding, and concern from the moment I met him.”

The reminders of her distaste sullied your own tongue. Had you really slept with a man who’d treated your sister this way? Then again, perhaps what he’d done to you throughout the following days had been worse. Could it even be quantified? Was there a point in recounting his wrongs and comparing them to his very few, very far between rights?

And just as he held the capacity for right, didn't that mean by default that Ferguson held capacity for very, very wrong?

You waved her insistence away. “Grace, he could be—for all you know, this could be an act, he could be—”

“What,” she cried, “do you have against him, exactly? What evidence of wrongdoing do you possess that causes you to be so utterly pigheaded?”

You paused, flabbergasted when the answer did not immediately present itself. Grace took this as an opening.

“Robert was too dull, David too cold, Justin too cowardly, Jonathan too controlling, Peter too lecherous, Nathaniel too dirty—well, I've found a man who is brilliant, warm, brave, considerate, respectful and—God strike me down—clean!” She threw her hands up into the air. “There is nothing about him for you to possibly dislike!”

“You didn’t see him at the ball, Grace, he was surrounded by women, he's entertaining Lord knows how many, ah—” His own acknowledgement of this tripped you, and you grumbled, stumbling over your words. Grace lunged.

“Oh, and he’s traveling a hundred miles to see each of them, is he?”

“Well, n—”

“Are they more deserving of his attentions than I, then? Is that what you mean?”

“No, Grace, of course that’s not what I—”

“What, then? What is it about him that you so disapprove of? Perhaps I’ll next have you find fault in a fine length of silk, seeing as those too are often set upon by ardent women.”

“He—he’s…” You let out a huff, casting about for your next words and finding them sticking like serrated bayonets from your memory. “He's a chimerical, self-serving, aspiring martyr!” You folded your arms. “Every British officer says so.”

Her jaw dropped, and she released a laugh of disbelief. “You're mad,” she said, and shook her head. “But you know what?” She jabbed a finger into your chest. “Even if that were true, it's my decision to make!”

“You just—” You grabbed her hand, pleading. “You’re so young, you don’t realize the consequences of these decisions, and—”

She screamed, ripping her hand away. “Yes, I do!” Growling, she stomped into the kitchen, then turned on you, a tidal storm of rage. “I'm a woman, now! I'm not an infant that requires your coddling, nor am I some ignorant girl that requires your wisdom.” She narrowed her eyes, upper lip snarling. “You cannot deny everyone else a chance at happiness simply because you've decided to make yourself as repulsive as possible to every man alive!”

You stepped back. For a brief moment, you considered tearing your neckerchief free and baring every yellowing shadow still present on your skin. But you didn't. Because despite the imprecision of her arrow, it struck true nonetheless. You feared her independence—not because of a man's opinion of you, but your opinion of yourself.

Who would you be if Grace decided she no longer needed—or even wanted—your love?

Grace stared at you, heaving breath, fury guttering in her gaze. When you didn't sling back a barb as you'd always done before, realization replaced it. She covered her mouth as if she'd just damned you to hell.

“Oh… oh, oh my goodness, I…” Grace stiffened, shrunk away from you. “I'm so sorry, I know that was too far—”

“No.” You shook your head. “No, Grace. You're right.” Shrugging, you held up your hands in surrender. “I'm being a selfish ass.” You approached, stopped just a foot in front of her. “I'm the one who's sorry.”

Grace paused, eyes shimmering, then flung herself into your arms. “You really are being a selfish ass,” she mumbled into your neck.

You laughed and held her tight. “I know.”

You closed your eyes and breathed in the scent of peach and rosemary that still lingered in the air, breathed out your own shame. If only you could melt into this moment and mark yourself as humbled for eternity. But with Grace as your sister, you knew that healthy doses of contrition remained a certainty in your future. And there was no way you'd make it to that future without her.

“I… I have something. For you,” you said.

She eased back from your embrace. “You do?” she asked, with the innocence of the child that you had to admit she no longer was.

“Yes,” you said, and slipped the letter from your pocket. “Major Ferguson entreated me to deliver this to you if I saw fit.” You held it out for her. “And I do. See fit, that is.”

Grace’s expression was the sunrise. Eyes flicking between you and the parchment, she tentatively reached for it. “Really?” she asked. “You're sure?”

You nodded. “I am.”

Squealing, she seized it from your hand, gazing at it like you'd handed her a slip of gold. Excitement lit her face, her fingers crinkled the edges of paper. She sighed, looking back at you.

“Thank you.”

“Please, don't give me gratitude after my behavior,” you said. “This is part of my apology.”

She grinned. “Very well then, I won't.” Giggling, she glanced at the letter a final time before placing it on the dining table. Her eyes widened. “That reminds me,” she said, and darted around you, running upstairs. You blinked, hearing her rummage in your shared bedroom before leaping down the steps, half-breathless. “I have a letter for you, too.”

You stared. “You do?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding. “It's… it's from Papa.”

Jolting forward, you held out your hand like that would force the letter to appear. All of your worst fears collapsed upon you. “Papa was here? In this house? You saw him?”

“Yes,” Grace winced, “but only briefly, days ago, and only to implore me that you get this letter.” She eased her hand from behind her back, revealing a page of parchment. You clawed at it only for her to yank it from your reach. “Hold on!”

“Grace, I—”

“Listen!” she said, and you straightened. “Let's agree to read them both tomorrow. I'll read my letter. You'll read yours. We'll do whatever needs to be done about them then.” She placed the parchment next to Ferguson's letter. “Today, let's just be… us.” Smiling, she grabbed your hand.

You glimpsed the letter on the table. No name on the paper. Just a wax seal smudged over the wrinkled edges. It could wait until tomorrow. All of it could wait.

“All right,” you said, entwining your fingers in hers. “Just us.”

The rest of the day melted into the evening as if the past three months had been a dream, the each of you tumbling comfortably into your routines. Grace guided you on the improvements she’d made to the organization in the barn, while you provided input on managing the important cultivars she’d need come autumn and winter. Hopefully, I’ll be back home before then, you told her, but the both of you knew that there was no guarantee on the war’s end and left the rest unsaid.

By the time the sun wound its way into the hills, you’d harvested a load of yams and corn, watered the rest, spread seed out for the chickens, and chopped what felt like half a cord of wood (just in case you really didn’t return before winter). Come supper, Grace baked cornbread while you prepared the black-eyed peas and yams, adding salt-pork to round it out. You sat together in contentment and ate, the plump tabby shape of Mr. Mouser slipping between each of your legs in a bid to earn some pork himself.

If you allowed it, the meal could’ve been bitter on your tongue, a poisonous reminder of everything that had been stolen from you in the days since the war. A blessing, you supposed, that your lives had evaded inclusion on the list, but that measure granted, it seemed you’d traded nearly all of your comforts for complications. A warm bed for a cold tent, a safe home for the battlefield, a loving family for the attentions of a barbarian uniformed in the facade of civilization.

Perhaps, you mused, there was some irony to you wishing to deny Grace an affiliation with a man like Ferguson when you so willingly entertained one with a man like William.

But that was for tomorrow.

The washing up done, the nighttime settled, both of you found your way upstairs to clean in the basin before bed. There was no avoiding it at this point—Grace would see your bruises, and she had not been spared your gossip regarding the whisperings of older women at church. Her education on these matters was equivalent to yours.

As you undressed, you remained casual, hoping perhaps if you pretended they weren’t there, she might mistake them for shadows in the candlelight. Your experience wasn’t necessarily something you wanted to hide from your sister, but you certainly wanted to avoid discussion about with whom you’d shared it and your desire to repeat it as soon as possible.

Feeling too exposed in your shift, you padded to your bed, then paused at the sight of the rumpled sheets and the bedside table which held a book and a half-burned candle. You looked at Grace’s bed—inert and cold in comparison.

“Have you been sleeping in my bed, Gracie?” You peered around at her.

She glanced back at you, releasing her hair from its wrapping. “What? It smelled like you.”

“And that’s a good thing?” you scoffed.

“Well, eventually it smelled more like me. A lot more like me.” She wrinkled her nose. “I had to wash the sheets. But by that point I was used to sleeping there.”

She shrugged, turning back to the mirror to tend her hair. Warmth spread through your chest, and you smiled, sinking down onto your mattress and burrowing into the covers. Then a dip in the bed made you look down.

“Make room,” said Grace, clambering over you to the other side.

“Ow! Watch your knee.” You jostled beneath her and she lost her balance, sprawling half on top of you and half onto the other side of the bed, making you both laugh.

As each of you arranged yourselves under your blankets, she slotted herself against you, sighing contentedly. And then you heard her breath catch.

“What—” She gasped your name. “What in the Lord’s good—” She pressed a bruise with her finger, and you squirmed. “What are these!”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Nothing interesting,” you said. “But…” You hummed in thought. “Let us just say that perhaps I’m not as repulsive to men as previously assumed.”

Grace snorted. “Oh, surely you don’t expect me to believe that after all of our hand wringing today over letter-writing.” She poked your side. “Out with it. Now.”

Heat flushing your neck, you shook your head. “It’s truly nothing! It was an unexpected and not particularly intelligent decision. I would… not recommend it.” None of these were necessarily lies.

“Recommend it?” She poked you again. “I expect you to recollect it!” Her mouth twisted in a mocking frown. “I see a woman may be made a fool, if she had not the spirit to resist!” she recited. “Didn’t you say that once?”

You rolled your eyes. “Grace—”

“Ah, no, sorry. That’s Katherina from The Taming of the Shrew.” She grinned. “So, nearly there.”

“You’re right!” you said, covering your face with your hand. “You’re right, you’re right. I know.”

But how could you begin to explain the man with whom you’d spent a night was the same man who inhabited her nightmares? This was not a conversation you could imagine yourself having with her even after the war, not something you believed she’d understand. After all, you didn’t understand it yourself.

At least Patrick Ferguson, for all his irritating qualities, had maintained the pretense of humanity. William had long proved himself a beast to the only person whose opinion you cared for.

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

“I’m tired.”

“You didn’t work that hard today—”

“Grace,” you said, sighing. “Listen. If you’re truly interested, we can discuss tomorrow. For now, I’d like to sleep. The ride here was exhausting.”

“But you—”

You clamped your hand over her mouth. “Tomorrow.”

She gave you a playful pout, and you released her. “Fine. If you so choose.” With a grin, she nestled her head against you. “But I shall be cross if you refuse me any insight. I demand a detailed reverie!”

That, you hoped, would never come. “If you so choose.”

You blew out the candle beside you, holding your sister in your arms. At some point before you fell asleep, Mr. Mouser found his way onto the bed, curling like a pillbug between the two of you. The moon was waxing, the air was cooling, and the crickets sang the three of you to sleep.

#william tavington #colonel tavington #colonel william tavington #the patriot #jason isaacs #playing soldier #fanfiction problems #i am surprisingly not as skilled at writing a sister relationship as bastillia is #despite the fact that i'm the one who has a sibling smh

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moononmyfloor · 3 months ago

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In the 3rd Quarter of 2024 Cdramaland...

1st Quarter, 2nd Quarter, 4th Quarter

(Aka the review post where I speak like I'm a hyping announcer at a presidential debate 😆)

16. Favorite Parents/Parent figures of the year

Papa Gu (Zhang Fengyi) from A Lonely Hero's Journey, Master Li (Qiu Xinzhi & Zhang Chenxiao) from Dashing Youth

Usually the uber principled, patriotic, larger-than-life parents are stereotyped as negligent and ruthless towards their children or incapable of expressing their true affections. Not Gu Xixing. He was a strict father but for all the right reasons, and never hesitated to throw his prestige and life aside for his children any second and he made sure his children knew that, which was the most important part. The kids knew their father wasn't someone to be trifled with, but also that they were so incredibly loved and protected. Having him as the father was a big part of why the ML grew upto be such a stable and well-adjusted young man who would never sway no matter what catastrophe befell him.

Li Changsheng was, hm, admirable in the COMPLETE opposite way. One of the most convincing character designs for an immortal I've seen, he was often insensitive to the mortal struggles his students went through, and came across as snobbish and heartless at times, but that behaviour made sense and was understandable for once. Plus, when he did decide show that he cares, he went big. Earth shatteringly, Dynasty-topplingly, Heaven-shakingly big. Quite literally. He always had life advise and cultivation tips to give, if you were able to tolerate his cryptic speech and dark humor resulting from having lived for too long. I was both disturbed and fascinated by him, I even wrote character analysis for him here and here, lol.

17. Favorite historical drama of the year

A Lonely Hero's Journey

Set in Suzhou during 1940' Japanese Occupation era, this drama is by no means the most perfect espionage/spy/war show that China has to offer, but I REALLY enjoyed it because it had so much heart despite all the bloodshed and devastation going around.

It didn't have the most accurate-to-history depictions of this specific time period, the costumes weren't necessarily period appropriate etc, BUT THAT'S OK, because even still it did such a GORGEOUS job of its wardrobe, and it's not like didn't do some research (3 meta pics from official weibo posted above), delivered heaps upon heaps of world-famous Suzhou architecture and landscaping aesthetics (3 collages from weibo below) and used this mesmerising old gramophone track 【Teach Me How Not to Think of Her (教我如何不想她) by 赵元任 (Zhao Yuanren)】 in its bgm and also did a modern cover for it, all of which made for a very atmospheric viewing experience.

And most importantly, it depicted almost all the characters with empathy no matter they were a main character, a villain, a traitor, a Chinese or Japanese. If you see people spouting that Cdramas always have clear cut black and white censored portrayals of stories that take place in sensitive historical time periods, that they bend over their back to ensure the audience wouldn't root for the characters on the wrong side, just slap a show like this in their face.

18. A drama that was a pleasant surprise

Snowfall

When the premise said "Republican era Vampire Cdrama with an age gap relationship" I didn't really expect it to be anything more than a cheaply produced light fantasy thriller with the said age gap couple being portrayed by two same age actors where one character simply happens to be labelled as immortal.

Snowfall was anything but. Excellent cinematic visuals, sets, styling and costumes from Director Li Muge, who is like China's second God of Colors after Dir. Zhang Yimou, veteran actor Vengo Gao (Age: 42) as the immortal half of the pair and Ouyang Nana (Age: 24) as the younger half, who actually do share a very visually age-gap dynamic that was so masterfully explored so it was 100% about mutual respect, adoration and sexual tension without being creepy, and the show never let you forget that the main lead was a vampire who could unleash some serious, gory violence if he wanted. Yes, his vampirism was still explained as the fault of alien meteorites (as always 😂) but they compensated with delivering an immaculate antagonist who was 10x unhinged than any paranormal disease could ever be. He had a competency kink, abandonment issues, he was emitting the desire to be held by throat and be topped wherever he went like a jumbotron, he loved to torture AND be tortured... the list is endless. Watching this drama was absolutely delightful.

19. Favorite adaptation of the year

Adventure Behind the Bronze Door/Tibetan Sea Flower

The DMBJ fandom was waiting for this for what felt like a decade but OH MAN IT DELIVERED. Not only that it was faithful to the book in ALL the ways that mattered, it fixed up a lot of not-so-good parts in the original material, fixed continuity issues and became the DMBJ show with the most cohesive, well-paced narrative. It was about time.

From the super-well thought out opening credits animations, to the casting, book references, props designs, CGI, bgm and the to the freaking ENGLISH of all things, it was perfection. 9.5/10 Stars No Drama.

20. Screenstealer of the year

Ye Dingzhi (He Yu) from Dashing Youth

Tumblr user @fortycumber said it all, couldn't have said it better😂. Despite the promising start, Dashing Youth fell apart by the end (though I did enjoy that drama a fair amount, I made an edit too for Dingzhi and his poor wife Wenjun) with the scriptwriting failing almost all characters including Dingzhi himself, but He Yu's soulful acting did SO much to singlehandedly keep the show worth watching to the end.

It is especially amazing considering how He Yu is still a new actor, he had studied Architecture and started pursuing acting only recently, other than the gorgeous face he had little in common with the gazillions of his peers in the same show, yet he was the one who hit it out of the ballpark. An orphan in the Jianghu whose family was brutally murdered in his childhood, brought up by a just as loner Dark Cultivation Master, a prodigy who is admired but never understood and therefore feared by everyone, an ardent, loyal lover, a struggling young father.... he nailed it all with the perfect amount of gravitas.

21. A drama that made me cry

Adventure Behind the Bronze Door/Tibetan Sea Flower

When I tell you just how much ZHH got the vibes right, I was impatient for the subs and randomly clicked here and there on ep 30 already, without subs. I saw glimpses of certain scenes that were happing in the ep and I just

stared at the screen

scared at the screen

A shudder passed through me and I instantly started bawling like a baby.

That hadn't happened to me in a long time. 😭

22. A drama that made me laugh

The Flower of Lust

A low-budget simple comedy with copious GL undertones, this drama didn't offer much meat to bite on, but it was unexpectedly some good fun. Fast and easy to follow, there was lots of turned-around gender expectations going on for the roles.

For example, this laobanniang played by Word of Honor's Beauty Ghost is the main lead, there's no Male Lead, but a clutzy female assassin who's going to kill the Lady and they develop a classic wuxia sworn-sisterhood relationship where they share energy (😏) and sacrifice for each other. It has two side male characters played by hot young actors (Huang Junjie and Li Zhuoyang), but they are simply himbos who were saved by the boss lady and now work as her bodyguards! At most, they only have hots for each other.

Also it has a theme song that sounds TOO good for the production quality. Plus each ep is only 15 mins long, you won't lose out if you give this show a chance. The full version is only 3.5 hours.

youtube

23. An old drama I watched this year

My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (2017)

On paper-

"An otaku wants to order a love bot in the form of the girl he has a crush on, but accidentally orders a male bot who is programmed to love him forever, and the otaku re-purchases the girl bot but she accidentally gets programmed to love the guy bot, and the Otaku suffers. A lighthearted comedy with some gay jokes."

What it actually was-

Polyamory negotiation, feelings realisation, coming out, internalised homophobia, learning to love yourself, multiple thorough discussions on how a relationship arrangement doesn't have to be this predefined textbook thing and how it's sometimes as simple as just staying with people who make you happy, the biggest gathering of explicitly-acknowledged queer people I've seen in a Cdrama including the ML himself, a butch, a crossdresser, a BL writer, a girl who believes everyone is in love with her...... who are shunned by the rest of the campus for being "weirdos" so they create this space for themselves that is so full of love and acceptance and *literally* decorated in rainbows, and there was a scene of a gay bar with a married gay couple...... I can go on and on.

Is it a perfect show? No. But I would give it even more than 10/10 if possible, simply for existing. It's not a masterpiece and is full of silliness sometimes but it is so painfully clear that this show was made by people who knew what they were doing.

The Before-2018 Cdramaland was a RIOT. Highly rec that everyone watch this, especially if you are interested in seeing what queer portrayals in recent Cdrama scene used to be before censorship rules tightened.

More posts by me

#a lonely hero's journey #Dashing Youth #Snowfall #tibetan sea flower #adventure behind the bronze door #My Girlfriend's Boyfriend #dashing youth spoilers #Youtube #The Flower of Lust #Tibetan sea flower spoilers #Adventure behind the bronze door spoilers #Tsf spoilers

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phanfictioncatalogue · 5 months ago

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Post Coming Out Universe Masterlist

Basically I'm Gay: Dan's True Colors (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: This was it: The one video that would change his entire life. A part of himself that Dan pushed deep down for YEARS. With a little encouragement from Phil, Dan uploads his coming out video. But will he be prepared for the comments that follow?

Big crowds means judging eyes (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: From their hotel room Dan and Phil can see the crowds they'll encounter at this years vidcon. In a post-coming out world, comfort is needed for the prospect of many judging eyes

Devilishly Endearing (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan and Phil are making a mess in Karen's kitchen, luckily for them, she thinks they are cute.

from the starting line (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil visit Dan’s family for the first time in a post-coming out universe.

endings are like beginnings (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: Dan wakes up in the post-coming out universe.

hey, brother (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: It’s time for Phil to reintroduce himself to Dan’s family in the proper context, but there’s one member that he’s not entirely confident about connecting with.

I Want to Hold Your Hand (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: A minor incident/misunderstanding while traveling to IOM for Christmas leads Dan to reflect on boundaries and comfort levels in the post coming out universe.

i’ll meet you in the light (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil looks at the photo and sees them how he sees them in his own head, not them as their larger-than-life internet personas. It’s them, happy and at peace with their lives and who they are in 2019. And he suddenly has the strangest urge to share the photo, to show the world how damn happy he and Dan are, despite everything that’s happened in the past.

i'm ready now (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” -Billy, age 4 (2 of 2)

Lighter Than Air (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan and Phil are sappy drunks and they're heading home together.

little comfort card (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary. Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

meet the howells (ao3) - toffeelemon

Summary: After a decade of going home alone, Dan finally brings Phil along to see his family. As his boyfriend.

(set after the awkward email, before the video)

Nana (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: “The thing is, coming out to his family proved to be the easy part. It’s what followed that’s been difficult, more emotionally draining, more vulnerable. It’s like the invisible wall that’s been between them now has physical form. It has a name now.“

On The Road (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil still isn’t quite used to it all being okay. He isn’t used to Dan not fearfully dissecting a tweet reply that called them queer icons. He isn’t used to things like what the two teenagers they bumped into at the airport said when they stuttered out, “I met my girlfriend because of you,” feeling only good. No twinge of bittersweet.

A fic about changes and landscape.

rainbow, proud (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil really wants the corgi shirt, but Dan thinks he has enough already

Safe (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Phil is in a mood and works his way through it with a naked Dan.

Safe Place (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island.

secrets (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: of sharpie tattoos and facing the bittersweet truths of a post-coming out universe

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

stop speak support (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats.

Strike a Pose (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Walking a red carpet in a post coming out world

words that water flowers (ao3) - neopold

Summary: He would call his nan and ask, like he usually does when life asks unanswerable questions. But she would most likely refer to a bible verse, and he’s not sure he’s up to listening to a book constantly trying to invalidate his existence.

your hoodies (come wrapped around me) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Unpacking for their move into bigger quarters, Dan finds an ancient treasure in the back of their conjoined closet.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfic #phanfiction #phan #masterlists #basicallyimgay #basicallyimgay masterlist #comingout #comingout masterlist

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sovonight · 2 years ago

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Hey there!

I love how you draw backgrounds, and I was wondering what your process for that is?

ahh i'm almost not sure how to answer, i feel like i haven't done a proper background in a while!

i think the most important part is to go into drawing a background with its purpose already in mind. even if you're not drawing a dedicated background, and it's just a backdrop for your characters, there should still be a reason why it's there. like, maybe the character(s) are interacting with it (leaning against a door frame, sitting in a chair, having their hair swept by the wind), maybe it provides a certain dramatic lighting that you want the character(s) to be cast in, maybe it adds a physical barrier between two characters who really need to talk something out, etc.

i feel like this is much easier in a comic because 9 times out of 10, the background is already woven into the setting and movement of the scene so you already know what you need from it, but you can also do the same for a single illustration. if i know i want a character to be shelving a book in a bookstore, and to have a ray of morning sunlight come in from the right that just catches the edge of her face and her neck, then I know that I need to draw a bookshelf near an implied window, and then maybe a few more books that she hasn't shelved yet, another bookshelf or two to imply there's an abundance of them, and then a few things i think a bookstore would need to have: a checkout counter, the counter is by the entrance/exit, the entrance/exit has large glass windows, additional light is coming in by the counter.

after i decide what elements i need in the environment, i sort out how i'm going to separate those elements out into layers--foreground, midground, background--and then i start working on composition. i value composition right after context because even if you can draw an environment with technically correct perspective, if it lacks a pleasing composition that completes the piece, it just feels dissatisfying. of course it's nice to have both a pleasing composition and correct perspective, but if i had to sacrifice one i would always sacrifice perspective. composition is hard to give tips on, because all i can really say is rule of thirds, feel it out, trust your gut, do your best, and remember that color and lighting affects composition too so try to plan with those in mind as well. at this point i usually try to start a color sketch and add in all the lighting effects i had in my head in order to get a full picture of the environment so far, so that i can judge if the composition & the colors work well together or not.

for coloring, i start by coloring everything its base color, which means the background starts out looking very flat. you can add depth into this base--and i sometimes do by just adding a few washes of darker color using normal mode layers--but for my comic backgrounds i actually prefer to add depth by relying on the lighting that i apply through layer modes, to keep my layer count down. for lighting, i like to stick with one main source of light that i can use to justify glowy highlights, and then i'll use a soft brush to airbrush some ambient light in the background. i'll mess around with my favorite layer modes, like multiply, linear light, and add glow, and i'll also try to have different gradients of light going in the foreground, midground, and background to maintain some contrast and depth between them. sometimes, if you're pushing something further into the background, and you're tempted to add more shadow and make it darker because you think that'll push it back, the right move is actually to focus on reducing contrast. like, if you look at a landscape, the hills in the far distance almost just blend into the sky; it's objects that are close to you that have the most distinct shadows and high contrast.

as for perspective, you can always fudge perspective, and should feel free to mush and squish it around if it benefits other aspects of the piece (composition, eliminating tangents, symbolism, whatever). messing around with it too much can break the illusion (unless your style completely supports that), but a little bit is healthy. everyone has an innate sense of perspective, and as long as that sense says "yeah feels good to me," then you don't necessarily need to pull out the formal perspective tools for every single background. a huge part of faking perspective without many tools is just to get so familiar with different angles that you can just toss them out on demand, and for that you can study a bunch of photo refs of different angles from real life, or you can do what i did and get a freecam mod for your favorite game and fly around taking screenshots of environments of interest from different angles.

#sovo answers #art tips

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wetcatspellcaster · 1 year ago

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Not only do I love your writing, with many a snippets living rent free in my head, and now you are spoiling us with these DVD commentary posts! Oh, and here's on:

As her arcane vision opened, and she was greeted by a hexagonal chamber, wrought from white marble. The proportions of the chamber were briefly dizzying, and off-putting enough to require adjustment to - its walls were high, suggesting a tower, with long, thin, arched windows and a mural in the domed ceiling. Everything was deathly still, and quiet.

And at the chamber's centre, a pristine white coffin.

Its lid was carved into an ornate frieze of flowers, foliage, and winged birds. All its fastenings were pale white gold, the clasps inlaid with rubies. Rose felt her consciousness tugged like a boat anchored, as the hairpin focus called her forward.

When Rose approached the coffin, she heard stifled, harried breathing within. This was truly Astarion’s resting place, then - and close enough for him to cross planes in the time it had taken them to make it to their own sanctuary. He was already inside, recovering from the death she’d willed upon him. If she’d been real, in this moment, Rose would’ve laid her hand upon the surface of the casket.

Echoing from within the coffin, came a long, gravelly groan, that ended in a series of stuttered breaths.

Ah, Rose thought, skin burning in the material plane. Not in too much pain, then.

And... definitely Astarion.

She hastily backed herself away from the coffin, rising up through the centre of the strange, pristine room to the nearest window. It seemed the quickest way to find out more information on their current location, and to leave him to whatever… that was. She felt the connection finesse itself and stretch taut, finding the limits of her own concentration as she drifted up-

Rosalie felt the temperature drop drastically as she came up to the arched window. Its glass was rimed with frost, small glittering starbursts of ice lining the edges and patching the view in places with fronds of glimmering crystal. Beyond, a pale, snow-covered landscape with no signs of life, only mountains that were impossible to scale, and a sky that was brutally dark. A night blue as ink with not a single star to light it, only pulses of colour in an aurora of paler blue and deep, bruise purple, fluttering in and out of existence and rippling through the endless, dark sky like a wave.

Rosalie did the disembodied, arcane equivalent of pressing her ear against the glass. The metal of the window frame felt so cold, it burned across her mind like flame. Though the air inside the chamber was still, she thought she heard the high, roaring howl of a merciless wind.

...why did I not realise that when I offered up DVD Commentary the 'is he wanking in his coffin' segment was bound to come back to haunt me :-)

Curse you, anon (affectionate).

I spoke a lot about where I wanted to put the coffin in the endnotes, but there are many spoiler-y reasons why I decided on Cania as the ideal place, to the point where it caused me to ignore the fact that it technically broke Scry. I'm going to try and give teasers here for the fun of it, but unfortunately a lot of my commentary on this section is going to be [REDACTED] bc it's setting up some (I think) very fun and sexy plot-twists later. Maybe I'll just use this space to be really indulgent and point out some instances of foreshadowing just to annoy readers into guessing what they might mean.

I really love the Hells in general in D&D - I'm not just brain poisoned by the House of Hope, I've always been obsessed with the very D&D specific distinction between Lawful Evil and Chaotic Evil and what Hell, as the Lawful Evil plane, looks like as a result.

Cania is Mephistopheles' domain, I based the choice that they would be in contact not just on the fact that the Black Mass is Mephistopheles' plan, but also on that one line in Ascendent!Astarions dialogue with spawn!Tav when he mentions 'Mephistopheles' gifts', as if they're on first name terms and pals now.

The description of Cania was based on what lore I could glean from online searches and also Descent Into Avernus. Cania isn't actually spoken about in great detail to be honest, it's basically lifeless, cold, and barren. Which...was already prime Gothic vampire imagery, tbh, but then I found this line on the wiki: 'Preserved corpses were frequently uncovered after collisions between glaciers.' I see Ascended!Astarion essentially, at this point, as a 'preserved corpse', particularly when contrasted to Rose's aging, so I figured it was fate.

Also idk if people have googled Mephistopheles but based on his wiki description... it seems like him and Ascendent!Astarion would get along :)))))

The flashes/aurora in the sky are meant to be a sign of arcane activity, Cania is characterised by Mephistopheles 'overseeing endless experiments with arcane magic [...] conducted throughout the wastes of the layer.'

The inside of Astarion's infernal palace registers to Rosalie as warm, but the world outside is very, very cold. There. That is my only piece of foreshadowing that I can highlight here. Make of it what you will.

Also.... yes, he was wanking in the coffin :') at least, in my vision as an author. But tbh the responses in comments were so valid, and I now also have a very funny image of it being a combination of a wank and a panic attack, which... you know... if you're an invulnerable, all-powerful vampire who's become alienated from your own humanity and your own emotions, maybe being scared *does* get you off?

Also shout out to the commenters who imagined what she overheard was actually just a Blood of Lathander style temper tantrum. Imagining an alternative version of this scene where Rosalie goes over to the coffin, here's a tea kettle high voice going "Power Word Kill! Power Word Kill!!" and goes "...ah, that's Astarion alright. Just like the old days." and then moves on with her life.

DVD commentary ask

#wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #asks #anons #dvd commentary ask #ask games #lovely words from lovely people #schrodinger's coffin endures :')

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outofangband · 1 year ago

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Tagged by @slightnettles to share part of a WIP (like three weeks ago I’m sorry :(

I think I am at least caught up on WIP tag games now!

I decided to share from a couple to make up for the delay! Plus a bit of a ramble about horror which I apologize for

The theme for today are “fics and scenes I rewrite again and again”

Whatever explanation Aerin had been expecting, it was not this. The weight of these words she feels as a coiling unease. Despite their proximity to the hearth she finds herself cold, pulling her worn cloak more tightly around herself. For warmth, but also to fend off the sudden and familiar feeling of exposure. She understands acutely what this play is, what Brodda expects her to do in response.

“Is this truly believed by all?” Aerin asks with the knowledge that it does not truly matter. There is something wrong in her voice, or perhaps in her own ability to hear it.

The other shrugs wearily.

“I doubt it,” he says, “But none will gainsay him let alone where he might hear.”

Note: this scene has been SO difficult for me to write. It’s undergone like three rewrites over months and it’s still just very shaky :(. The background is basically that Aerin, who is already not in a great place for like, obvious reasons, has gotten extraordinarily bad news about two days before. She’s been trying to process this when she gets further information about the previous news that complicates things further. @nelyoslegalteam you know the premise so you might be able to guess what news Aerin got :)s

Second note: I am still working on the mind games and Leonine contract prompts for Aerin, estimated to be finished in two weeks to three years

…

From a horror fic of Maedhros in Angband

When he lay on the cracked ground, agony coursing through him, Maitimo might wonder if they were merely the creation of his own mind, somehow thinking that these further tricks of light and darkness would amuse, distract him as he lay exhausted. Maybe they lived in the minds of all here. The place was foul enough to cause such visions in the purest of souls. Maitimo knew he was far from that.

But there were creatures at home in the dark of the Iron Hell, ones that could move through spaces orcs could not. He had seen shadows take form here. Sometimes at the obvious bidding of another.

Why it was that even darkness crept to life here, Maitimo could not say. He knew not if these might be truly sentient beings, crafted and released by the dark Vala himself, or if they were merely drawn to the place, carried by the denizens who swarmed to the Moringotto like the creatures that favored the volcanic landscape?

Note: too heavy handed here I think. I really really love horror but I’m not very good at writing it.

I am working on a few horror projects about Morwen including a couple from the point of view of well, not particularly reliable sources, that have been really fun to play around with. I am just continually obsessed with how visceral of a description we get of Brodda’s fear of Morwen when the scene is imbued with the threat of horrific violence against her and her child. Anyways I will move to the next WIP so I don’t ramble about this forever especially because I already have so many posts on that specifically

…

“You will keep your distance, Witchwife, or you will suffer far worse than what has befallen Lysant.” Morwen says nothing to this. Her expression is distinctly cold, head tilted as she considered him. The man’s horse paws nervously at the ground and Sador sees his hand go to his sword. Only briefly but it is enough that he wishes more ardently than before that he had not lost his prowess with a blade. The only one he keeps now is the one that had been Túrin’s, tucked into his satchel. It had mended the traps they had set well enough but it would serve little use here, if there should be need.

Note: sigh, another scene I cannot get write though I have just been feeling not great about my writing in general lately so that doesn’t help

#the silmarillion #Aerin #Maedhros #Morwen #the children of húrin #Sador #short writings #none of these are good I’m sorry #in the iron hell #word ran among them

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kimium · 1 year ago

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kimium you do not know me but I read almost all your Hitman Reborn fics because even after 10+ years this hellhole series won't let me go, and each one of your 10051 fics are like an oasis stumbled upon after days meandering in a dusty barren landscape. also your writing is just plain good.

The way I remember it that Hanahaki Disease wasn't really a trope until after the manga curled up to die with the bulk of the Fandom, but it SHAKES me that I cannot locate any Byakuran hanahaki fic. It's just unnatural feeling. Like Graham crackers and chocolate without Marshmallows. An ominous void in nature where there shouldn't be one. Light without shadows.

Please share your thoughts about 100 hanahaki to satiate this thirst of mine. Only if you want too though of course! Thank you for listening!!!

Hello Anon!

Thank you so much for this ask! You are so sweet to describe my 10051 fics as an oasis in a barren, dusty landscape. That's such a fun comparison and makes my heart warm to have such high praise.

While I also cannot exactly pinpoint when I kept seeing "Hanahaki" as a trope in fics, you are correct that it was long after the bulk of KHR was an active fandom. It certainly feels like a trope that fits Byakuran well and your analogy to a s'more without chocolate is also a very fun image. Love it.

Now, as for my thoughts on Hanahaki, let's break it down.

In general, I do not like the "traditional" hanahaki trope. However, I understand why it's popular. In fact, I wrote more "traditional" hanahaki trope fics once upon a time, so I used to like the more "traditional" trope. Unrequited love is a topic that can be cathartic for the writer and readers to explore in fiction. We've all experienced rejection (romantic, platonic/friendship, professional, etc.) and the heartbreak we feel truly feels like we are going to die. Also, flower symbolism is always Top Tier and my favourite kind of symbolism.

The main reason why I dislike the "traditional" hanahaki trope is because to me it feels very self-entitled. "You didn't return my love and thus I will die!" I cannot help but make the comparison to people who try to guilt trip someone for breaking up or not dating them.

Also, the idea of "I have to completely forget about this person" cuts off so much emotional growth and development. Yes, I know "falling out of love" is an option, but I rarely saw "traditional" hanahaki fics go that route. Makes sense though: magical amnesia is such a juicy trope (and also one of my favourites). Of course, I do not mean the traditional trope advocates it, but I cannot shake this thought out of my brain.

What I enjoy more is "seasonal hanahaki" where the symptoms are less severe and more akin to a seasonal cold/fever/mild allergies. Nothing to dismiss but also the person will recover from it with time. How the writer can set this up has a lot of flexibility which I enjoy. I've seen writers write is as literally seasonal where people who experience "seasonal hanahaki" do so in spring and fall time (where traditional cold/fever/mild allergies kick up). I've also seen people write it where the person "catches" their "seasonal hanahaki" when they first realized their feelings aren't requited.

Regardless, because this isn't deadly could you imagine the world building? The Drama! The work place or friend gossip??? This opens so many more avenues than "pity" which I find most traditional hanahaki goes towards because someone is dying.

So, where does this place Byakuran in my mind? While I am not a big fan of "traditional hanahaki fics" I think the trope suits him. Even seasonal hanahaki opens up so many avenues to explore! Could you imagine the denial he'd soak himself in?? Shouichi -obviously- loves him! They're destined to be together! The list goes on. This could lead to all sorts of irrational decisions/ways of coping for Byakuran.

Again, thank you for sending me this ask! I love taking about KHR and I'm so happy for all your support. Feel free to pop on by in my inbox again or if you're not too shy, in messages!

#personal #replies #khr #mention of 10051

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lapiscasuali · 11 months ago

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There's this boy

I was poking around an old (non-tumblr) blog of mine, long abandonded, login forgotten. I guess my computer remembered the login for me because in my haphazard clicking I ended up falling into the backend, a list of posts before me. Including drafts. Posts never posted, that I barely if at all remember writing. Snapshots of a younger me, seperated from now by just over a decade. So focused, so idealistic.

I thought I'd finally let some of those words see the light of day. I've changed somewhat, I've definitely lost the surety of gender, but I like to believe that I have retained some of that idealism, and that the sentiment of last sentence remains true.

"There's this boy" 24th Feb 2013

Labels: Futurism, Sleep deprivation

There's this boy, and all he wants in life is to live in the future. Not so much to get older quicker, more to experience the far future. So he devours sci-fi and spec-fic media. Books like Neuromancer, and The Diamond Age, where humans blend seamlessly with the technology around them. Games like Mass Effect that demonstrate a relatively newly space-faring humanity, veritable virgins in the galactic landscape. Settings like Revelation Space, where humanity, wiser but still possessing it's myriad flaws, is verging on transhumanism, moving beyond regular evolution, to Eclipse Phase, where transhumanity is all there is. Consciousness can be uploaded and downloaded, tinkered with and altered as easily as one might get a tattoo.

Science is another passion. Physics in particular. He doesn't remember which came first, his love for the future, or his love for science, but it doesn't seem to matter. Each lead directly to the other, and he studies hard, or at least as hard as a boy will when surrounded by his beloved tech, so he can be part of as much of the future as his human life will allow. And he hopes beyond hope, that that limit keeps moving further and further away as science and technology continue to make breakthroughs in longevity.

I think about this boy and I think, all he really wants is what any, or at least many of us want deep down. He is working under the same mental drive that forces people to believe in a supernatural afterlife, or reincarnation. He wants immortality. He fears death, yes, though he will not readily admit it to himself, but it is not this that drives him. You see he loves science and he loves the future because he loves humanity, as one loves and worries about a dear friend. He wants to see humanity's potential realised, to witness them reach out into space and explore and learn. To beat disease, and eventually death. To inevitably become greater than humanity itself, and be born into something wholly new.

He fears death, but more often he fears that this will remain in the realm of sci fi and spec fic. He wants to live long and learn, and for humanity to learn with him, for he knows that we live in a finite universe, and learning is all there is. There is no greater goal, no greater reason to live than to learn and experience and love, and there is so much of it to do, so much that his heart screams out in joy and terror at the shear magnitude of it all, and he cannot do it alone. So he studies his physics and follows his technology, and he hopes. He loves humanity and he hopes.

#hope #futurism #transhumanism #my old writing #personal #sleep deprivation

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fatgumsurpremacy-remastered · 2 years ago

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I just love Maddox! He is so awesome and robot arms!!?

can I request reader play fighting Maddox and snuggling afterwards? (Like still covered in dust and dirt etc)

TY I LOVED making him. And his arms are so versatile since he and his family constantly make new ones. It’s Franks fav pastime.

The sun was setting over the horizon, casting an orange glow on all that lay below it. Beads of sweat hit the ground as the rays kept beating down, heat not swaying just yet, still resting in the ground. Had it been any hotter that day that little drop of sweat would’ve fizzled out of existence.

The hunched figure of a man sat up now, taking look over the work he’d done to the perimeter of the base.

A docile grin crept upon his face as he took a liking to the landscaping done.

The darker bushes and pebbles would catch the sun here, hopefully providing a good lounging area.

The man found himself smiling for another reason though-

Behind him a shadow stretched, brown with the light hitting it just right. The creeping, puppet-like silhouette easing in on him.

As he felt the shifting behind him he kicked his foot out in a sweeping motion.

The sound his offender made was one of pure shock, and defeat.

He crawled above his pursuer and attempted to wrestle their hands to the ground. Not wanting to put too much weight into their body he flipped them over so they were above him.

And now they were the one in charge.

A roguish, taunting smile dawned as they made themselves a target. With a confident bout of laughter they lightly mocked them.

“Why give in cowboy, don’t think you can best me from above?”

Maddox rolled his eyes as his partner attempted to roll him back. He sat forward instead.

“I wouldn’t say that just yet dear.”

Confusion wrought their smug façade, and the next look brought pure gold to Maddoxes eyes. With a small thrum of sound vibrating the inside of his arm it extended, twisting around his partners arm till it met their neck.

“Upsie Daisy!” With a flick of his other hand they were upturned. Their shock didn’t allude the metal man as a swift motion pulled them up and away from him.

When the world stopped spinning they caught Maddox about three feet away. Charming smile dancing on his features as he gestured to the new ground he’d planed that day.

“Like the new look rookie?” He spun himself around in a show of emotional dominance. “Or are you trying to get yours evened out?” He teased lightly, though the mocking tone left bristles on his opponents neck.

“Better watch yourself Doxen, you didn’t beat me last time.”

“Arms were in the shop sugar, let’s boogie.” He cracked his neck, sharply, to the left leaving a refrain from the wide area around him. More cracks followed as he swung his head wildly back and to the right.

His feet stood shoulder length apart and one turned out to the right. Taking a front stance. His fists balled in ready position right infront of the left.

They took on a different stance, a counter to his, before they slowly rounded a circle with their feet.

“What’s wrong happy foot? Too anxious to make a move?” They gabbed humouresly.

Maddox tilted his head upwards, letting strands of hair fall down his neck.

“Not really, more anxious to see how you’ll react. See if you’ll cry uncle when I get to ya’.”

They scoffed before moving in, intentionally missing his head as Maddox moved exaggeratedly too slow. They did the same moving fast backward then slowly pretending to kick sand at him.

He went faster this time, coming around like a ballerina before taking his handkerchief from his left side and slapping their side.

A yip escaped them as they attempted to slap him.

“SIR!”

“Oh! Oh! You can’t handle me, face it!” He pranced around like a goofy, pompous chicken. Stopping only momentarily to make a face of sarcastic shock, morphing into a battle cry as he checked his muscles.

“LETS DO IT!” They threw a stone at him the rock only lightly tapping his shoulder as he fakely started making weird chimp sounds before falling ‘dead’ to the ground.

His opponent ran to his side, covering his face from the last rays of sun.

They grabbed his face so hard it smushed his cheeks in, puckering his lips as he squinted up at them.

“Speak to me man, speak to me!” He grabbed the collar of their shirt before making an odd squawking noise. They let go of his cheeks barely keeping their composure.

“Tell my wife… that I farted.” His head lolled limply to the side, and his tongue stuck out as his partner dramatically shook their fists at the sky before slamming them down on his chest.

“OUGHN!” He gasped, lurching up from the impact. His shocked brown eyes zeroed in on them as they snorted to hold back the tears they had in them. He covered his eyes and started keeling over with laughter.

They did the same leaning forward and clutching desperately onto his tank for repreive.

“PLEASE.”

“God-! Gughhhg that hurts. WOOF.” He’d lain back chucking as they rested beside them. Hands still grasping his shirt. He layed his arm out so they could rest on it.

They scooted closer as a cold chill fanned across the sand, blowing some across the pairs legs. He turned his head to stare at them. Soft oranges blending into his eyes as he did.

“I needed that after a long day ‘a work.” He proclaimed meekly, rubbing his neck as he typically did. They were still coming down from their dopamine high as they pat his chest.

“Shit, i needed that too. You cannot believe the day I had.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked, crooking a dirt plastered eyebrow up.

“Yeah.” They responded confidently.

“Why don’ you tell me about it?”

The sun finally set as they began their story. As they looked up into the sky, Maddox closed his eyes and listened to their voice as he relaxed his aching muscles.

Night had fallen on the base, and all was peaceful, just the musings of two partners, and the gentle breeze of New Mexico.

#festens ocs #Maddox Conagher #Pyro Oc #Maddox Conagher x reader

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away-ward · 1 year ago

Note

Another willemmy Hc. tbh it could be for either will or emmy but i’ve always pictured one of them probably emmy to take up photography as a hobby.

I love this HC!!!

And I think it could totally be both of them, but that they'd get into different things.

Emmy might lean more towards objects and landscapes. Architecture for obvious reasons. Maybe it started because she was taking pictures of buildings for inspiration, to study them, and finding the interesting details she wanted to keep when renovating. Then it grew because she wanted to be able to capture what she found so special about them, getting the lighting and mood just right. So she studied how to use manual settings.

Will I can see focusing on people. He was always the one with the camera in the series, and he even pulled it out in Kill Switch to record the prank on the teacher. I think Will is probably extremely sentimental, and I see him wanting to capture special moments. I bet he'd get some fantastic candid shots. At the same time, if he continued to develop his skills in tattooing, he could also want to take pictures of his pieces. That could develop into portraits, and really capturing people as they are.

At the end of the day, I think Winter, Emmy, and Will are probably the most creative of the group. Damon might come in as he develops his skills in building and design. But Will and Emmy are really well matched in that aspect already.

Thanks so much for sharing! That's a great HC.

#asked and answered #asked and answered 181 #devil's night series #willemmy #will grayson iii #emory scott #fanon hc

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gldenhrs · 2 years ago

Photo

(—) ★ spotted !! luciana “ luna “ santiago on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid ! many say that the 22 year old looks like cindy kimberly , but i don’t really see it. while the model / socialite is known for being passionate my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be irresponsible i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song crazy by aerosmith .

* ◞ ╰ general .

full name : luciana kristiyana santiago . nicknames : goes prominently by luna , only her dad calls her moon . birthdate / zodiac sign : april 12th / aries . birthplace : madrid , spain . sexual orientation : bisexual / heteroromantic . family : victor “ vic “ santiago ( lead singer in Aerosmith ) & indah prasetya ( band’s groupie ) languages spoken : fluent in english & spanish , conversational in indonesian . pets : two cats named freddie purrcury & madam meow occupation : model / socialite . love language : physical touch . + traits : passionate , adventurous , enchanting , valiant , energetic , optimistic , affectionate & honest . - traits : dramatic , stubborn , querulous , insecure , irresponsible , impulsive , impatient & moody . aesthetic : red lipstick on plump lips , freshly baked coffee , spontaneous dance parties , strawberry lemonade on hot summer nights , heart shaped sunglasses , pigmented eyelids , european music festivals , setting off firecrackers at midnight , laughter floating through a room , missed calls at 2am , ripped bralettes , bare chest in the mornings . muse inspo : fran fine ( the nanny ) , francesca farago ( too hot to handle ) , kelly taylor ( 90210 ) , rachel green ( friends ) , jackie buckhart ( that 70s show ) , hanna marin ( pretty little liars ) , phoebe halliwell ( charmed ) , kiara ( outer banks ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries ) , stassi schroder ( vanderpump rules ) , maddie perez ( euphoria ) .

* ◞ ╰ quick history .

victor “ vic “ santiago ( aka luna’s dad ) is a famous lead singer in a rock band . think steven tyler from aerosmith ! ! so basically , growing up she’s been constantly surrounded by GOOD 80s rock music & being on the road which definitely shaped her personality .

luna’s mother , a groupie , is someone who followed the band around on the road for numerous years , but vic never took her seriously ( only took them to bed ) & the only reason she even got pregnant with luna is because vic wanted a child , knowing he would most likely never marry .

soooo , incomes luciana “ luna “ santiago , his pride & joy , his MOON . yes , he actually calls her that bc he’s always had an obsession with the stars & constellations . tbh luna’s been the love / light of vic’s life from the moment she was born , adored by not only her dad , but the band , team & fans too !

as for her mother * cough * , who knows where she is now , she doesn’t stay in touch tbh , only comes in town every couple of years to “ see her “ aka “ ask for money “ .

with the better part of early years where she was home schooled due to her dad’s insane tour schedule , luna was always an insanely energetic & menace of a child , constantly running around , causing trouble , etc !

at some point , she realized just how much she LOVES traveling , nature & being barefoot . yes , kind of a wanderer but who can blame her when she grew up with 80s rock legends ? ? so , she spend almost every waking moment traveling to exotic places , going to music festivals , walking bare chested in the mornings , painting landscapes ( SHE’S V TALENTED ) , having spontaneous dance parties at 3am , etc !

as far as doing things outside of being a socialite / a nepo baby go , she’s been in her dad’s music videos since she was 15 ( think liv tyler in crazy ) , and in many others , which naturally resulted in a numerous calls for modeling gigs , tv shows …. she took some modeling jobs out of fun & recently also out of pure fun , went to a famous tv show called “ too hot to handle “ ( think francesca farago here’s inspo hehe : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rUY_xAF0T0 ) . in a way , the only reason she went to that show was to show the world she can be something other than vic santiago’s daughter , so here she is ! !

* ◞ ╰ personality & dating life .

luna’s a bit of a spoiled brat which is a given , & while she does come across a textbook example of a nepo baby with no real world problems , she’s really not bc she never cared much about the fame she just likes having FUN .

v v enchanting & can charm her way out of any bad situation & make u swoon . tbh 10/10 she’ll annoy the living shit out of u or u’ll find her irresistible lol .

given her spanish roots , she can be hella’ dramatic just like her fav characters in telenovelas , but beside that she’s a truly good person with a good heart ok ! ! she just has a flair for dramatics , throwing fits , pouting & making puppy eyed faces whenever things don’t go her way .

can be hella hella flirtatious to a point she doesn’t even realize the effect she has on other people & more often than not she leads people on ? ? she regrets it later but eh .

loves to party , drink , dance , wear skimpy outfits & kiss on the lips but also wear mickey mouse pajamas while someone softly combs through her hair ? ? yeah , she needs to grow up . also kind of LIVES for summer & music festivals where she can just dress in glitter & fall in love with a different person every night !

v fun to be around bc she hates being bored & is impatient af ! she can’t stand being in one place for too long soooo catch her doing v dumb , impulsive decisions while bored like jumping on her father’s private jet to pet a koala in australia , go bungee jumping or snapping u a nude bc she’s bored at home jfnerjfgjsrgf .

some cute headcanons ? ? ok , here we go ! ! to this day loves watching telenovelas & she might cancel her plans with u to binge watch them ( like rebelde , rubí , pasion de gavilanes , la reina del sur … ) , still cries like a baby when mufada dies or miguel & mia break up , very childish & dumb at times but will also surprise u with some random wisdom at 2am , will react if someone offends her or her friends best believe she’ll throw a dramatic telenovela shit in public & call u “ un desgraciado “ lmao .

* ◞ ╰ connections .

she could use a squad ? like PLS . i want her to have a squad of friends she can party with and overall do dumb shit lmao .

also her BFFS . the thelma to her louise , the cassie to her maddie ! ! overall just two muses who are her family & they’re always tagging along w her , like vic probably treats them like his children too !

someone she’s dating atm but it’s nothing too serious , maybe he’ll end up breaking up with her or she’ll break up with him we’ll see but main thing is they WON’t last bc they’re messy af & luna’s heart isn’t 100% in this .

a close friend who party & hookup with other people when they’re out but always end up going home together & having this super open friendship where they have no problem hooking up with each other 6/7 days of the week ? ?

also gimme caleb fuck buddies that everyone ships & one of them is in love with the other while the other seems them just as a good time ? ewfjwesbf.

also also gimme a messy ex plot where they are constantly on / off & the fans love em but they’re just so fucking toxic ? ? maybe bc they’re too alike & won’t admit it’s love & just won’t settle down ( like imagine cheating scandals , public fights caught by tmz ... but also cute ass insta posts when they’re in a good place ) just think of nate & maddie from euphoria or francesca & harry ! !

a plot where luna uses them to make someone jealous but they don’t know & actually think it’s a legit relationship ? ? then obvi they find out luna was just using them & y’know : drama .

family friends ! ! someone who could know EVERYTHING about her life n be there for her like pls .

someone who is her HOME . it doesn’t have to be potentially romantic just someone who makes her feel completely safe , warm & protected ? ? they can also just…talk, and make each other laugh & smile, because they feel comfortable enough in themselves & with each other to be vulnerable in that way ? ? some fluff never hurt nobody .

someone who’s using her bc of her dad ? ? YES . gimme fake friends .

tbh exes she cheated on , exes that cheated on her , fwb of all kinds , crushes , childhood friends , good / bad influence on her dumb ass would be good , gossip queens n kings , party friends , enemies for whatever reason , etc ! !

#hillzhqsintro #here we goooooo :)))

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definitely-mothman · 1 year ago

Text

The Reflection of a Prince Ch 2

Summary in a Nutshell: Jade Overblot fic, mostly just a story fic but Jade/Azul is somewhat present, due to some shared childhood experiences/conflicts.

AO3 Link

Part 1

“Attention, everyone! Your Housewarden has an announcement for you!”

“You don’t have to yell at them Claude, now this is really awkward, god..”

Within the light reds and greens of Coralliadom’s central hall, the dorm’s body had been gathered before the small performance stage. At the mic was the awkwardly tapping Housewarden, a boy about 18 with waved hair tied back in a bow, a vibrant red that cradled his head like a firey bonnet. He lightly tapped the mic, which let out a piercing sound before eventually quieting and letting him speak.

“..Hey! So you guys already know for the most part, but for the freshmen who don’t, NRC and RSA always host this cross-campus kinda event. Most of it happens this following Friday but pretty much the whole week is shut down for people to visit the campuses…and all that.”

Rielle nervously shot a glance to Claude for a moment, a darker ginger with antennae jutting out from in between his eyebrows, curving and sitting above his ears. It was a glance of wanting reassurement, greeted with the slightest side eye and a small scooping motion with his right hand. The awkwardness of it all seemed to make time stand still.

“…so! Last year our cousin dorm, Octanivelle, hosted our lovely little group in their walls for the festivities, everyone who isn’t a freshman should remember that.” Each word seemed to stumble a little, like a tadpole trying to walk. “Because they hosted last year, now… we have the honor to host their entourage in our own dormitory!”

Students exchanged glances on the floor, hinting many emotions, but none positive. Claude turned, Rielle handing over his microphone.

“Hey. It’s an obligation, I’m not necessarily jumping for joy either. But we’re still going to perform our absolute best here. Octanivelle runs a tight ship, and me and Rielle intend to as well. The last thing any of you would want is for any of them to have something to mock you for.”

As opposed to Rielle’s shifting stance, his Vice Housewarden held an almost militaristic stance, and most of the dorm held a respect for his air of authority. The straight-lacedness of it made Rielle want to cringe.

“We’ll be starting preparations tomorrow, seeing as we have a week to put together decorations and also adorn the dorm with them. That isn’t including having everything wiped down, the group of you tasked with the musical performance and respective rehearsals, some cleaning up of landscaping, and what the principle has already asked of us. I know I seem to be starting way in advance, but it’d be great to get to ease up Friday when we have guests, instead of scrambling at the last minute.”

“Aye.” A collective sound of agreement came from the student body.

Rielle took the microphone back.

“Uh, everyone in the rehearsal group is good for tomorrow, right?”

Claude murmured over to him. “I sent that out 2 days ago”

“Oh! Uh, nevermind, sorry guys, you’re good.”

Claude winced.

“So that's the meeting adjourned, right- I don’t think we have anything else to go over.”

“Yeah, we’re good-“

“Meeting adjourned! Make sure to check your emails tonight so we all stay on schedule!”

Rielle felt a buzz in his right pocket. He instinctively went to pull it out, but before he could do that Claude already was escorting him off stage.

“Rie, you know what your schedule is for tomorrow?”

“Pft, yeah. I have like. A million reminders set.”

“Ok. I just ask since you tend to forget stuff like this.”

“I know, it’s reasonable, I’m good though!”

“Ok.” Claude spoke with a sense of not really believing him, which made Rielle huff a little bit. Rielle broke off, moving towards the residential side of the dormitory.

“Are you heading up to your room?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing, just a text from dad.”

“Oh, ok- just let me know if there’s something I need to talk to the Principal about-“

Rielle was already out of earshot by the time Claude had begun speaking.

• • •

“When are you going back through the mirror? Me and mom need to know so we can meet you there.”

Rielle was typing away, stumbling on the stairs trying to text with both hands and keep an eye on if he was heading the right direction to his room.

“Uh I think Sunday? Sorry I’ve just been trying to make sure everything’s good with Claude before I head out for the week.”

“No worries, we just wanna make sure you’re there sweetie. It’s important that Grandfather gets to see the darling young prince you’re growing into.”

Ugh, it was so embarrassing when dad texted like that.

“Ok, yeah I’ll be good Sunday night, will confirm tomorrow, just in case anything comes up.”

“Alright, mom will be texting you tomorrow just in case.”

“Ok.”

Rielle slipped his phone back into his pants pocket, opening his room’s door with the key stored in his RSA jacket. Shutting the door behind him, he fell back onto the plush canopy bed, and groaned loudly to nothing and no one.

Ughhhh…there was really no winning here, was there?

Downstairs he could hear the underclassmen scrambling around and Claude directing. Why couldn’t his Vice sit still for literally 3 seconds, didn’t he just say they were going to start tomorrow? Claude expected him to be there, the underclassmen definitely expected him to be there. I mean, he was the Housewarden. Not Rielle’s first choice, but where he ended up.

And then on the other end there was dad, and this big family reunion thing he’d been hyping up for the past few days. The festival had been set in before the reunion date was set, but it’s not like he could just tell him that he couldn’t show up.

He could see it now. A call to the principal from King Pelagaeus, saying that he would not have the Coral Sea’s heir held up by “small scale school activities.” The entire festival could get rescheduled if he whined enough, and the other Housewardens would be no less than pissed at him for making them redo everything. And I mean, it would be on Rielle, wouldn’t it? For telling “daddy dearest” about it and said person throwing a hissy fit. He kinda had his hands tied on attendance.

But on the other hand, him dipping out wouldn’t sit well with the Principal, Claude, anyone in his dorm, and no one at NRC would like it either. I mean, it’s kinda rude to see people you went to elementary school with as a kid like, once a year and then not even show up right? He cared more about the dorm than he did some family members he hasn’t seen since he could form memories. But also, again, dad, hissy fit, dorm ends up mad anyways.

Ugh! This was all so stupid! There wasn’t a good decision, so the lesser was probably fulfilling familial duties over the Housewarden ones. But he couldn’t sit still with the thought of Coralliadom not having their Housewarden for the whole week, not to mention what Octanivelle would probably be saying when he didn’t show up for the event…

His phone buzzed, with the default ringtone. That was weird, Rielle thought he had set one for everyone in his contacts list. It was a DM on magicam.

“Hey, Rielle! We shared some classes in middle school together, although idk if you remember. I was just checking your story and decided to ask if everything’s alright?”

Rielle raised an eyebrow a bit. The student in the profile picture wasn’t one he had a particular memory of, but then again middle school was kind of a blur, wasn’t it? The account was legit, it was some NRC sophomore, run of the mill stuff. Rielle flipped back to the DM.

“Yeah, everything is chill rn! Is there something you wanted to ask?”

Immediate response.

“Yeah, I just saw that there’s some gala thing your family’s hosting on like, Friday right?”

“Yeah, how did you know about that?”

“Mom’s been telling me about it, since they’re decorating the Atlantica Castle already for it. She’s sent me a few photos of what they’ve gotten done already.”

“Oh. Yeah, there’s a family gala thing coming up. I’m still a bit conflicted about it, but I think I’ll be going.”

“But isn’t the Sage Island Celebration that day? Our Housewarden said that we’re all heading over to you guys’ dorm for that day. Are you just like, not going to be there?”

“Probably, although I’d like to avoid being absent for it. There’s not really a winning option right now.”

There was a period of pause, little ellipsis fading in and out for about a minute.

“That kinda sucks. Could I do anything to help with it? Literally anything, this sounds like a huge pain LOL.”

Rielle looked at the message. Something felt…off about it. But he shook it. The account was legit, he’d gotten too many spam messages to not check at this point. The account even had a legitimate phone number and email attached to it. He typed back.

“Lmao, unless you can make it to where I can be two places at once I don’t think you’ll be able to help.”

Again, an immediate response.

“Actually, I think I could maybe help with that. I’ve been practicing some potion stuff recently for finals and I’ve been waiting to try it practically.”

“What, like an illusion potion? Those only last a couple of hours at most, I’d need a stand in for at least 5 days lol.”

“No it’s not an illusion potion. I’ve been working with using potions to enchant objects to imbed them with properties. It’s cool as hell.”

“…so you're going to make an illusion potion and imbed it into a book or something to keep it up the whole week?”

“No, it’s a piece of jewelry. Really small, nobody’s even noticed I have this thing in my dorm lol. I just keep it in a small desk drawer, and redip to change what the cast properties on it are when worn. I can show you in person if you want, I’m serious about this.”

Rielle’s hands flashed a little faster over the keys.

“You’re Octanivelle, right? That’s what your profile looks like. Wouldn’t Azul notice you’re like, gone?”

“Nah, I’m just one Sophomore lol. There’s like 600 of us here. At least, it’d be less noticeable than you not being there.”

“True.”

“If you want, we can meet up tomorrow and I can switch out w you. Unless you’re heading out a different day.”

His finger hung above the screen for about a minute before answering.

“What are you wanting in return for this? I know you guys don’t do this kinda stuff for free.”

“I just need you to give me the stuff for the potion honestly, I’m partway looking for some street cred with the other sophomores yk.”

“…street cred?”

“Yeah, yk, it’s like the Benevolence dorm. So this gives me some bragging rights. That’s the only real thing I can think of rn. Everything else is just stuff I need so the fill-in works.”

“Alright. Lmao I won’t knock you for wanting to climb the pecking order ig. What is it that you’d need me to bring? Illusion potions for people have to do with things like, personal items right?”

More pausing waiting for a response.

“Yeah, illusion potions need personal items to represent parts of your appearance. So like, a strand of hair for obvious, some fingernail clippings, some spit, a song in a bottle for voice. I probably will have to borrow smthn else tho.”

“Oh, so just some gross hair and shit LOL, thank goodness it’s a necklace bc drinking that potion sounds awful. Are you needing to borrow my magic pen for the week or smthn?”

“No, I can just paint my magestone and click it in your dorm staff. I’m probably gonna need to borrow your UM for the days I’m acting as you. Idk how often you use it, but I imagine it’d be really sus if you just suddenly couldn’t use it for the whole week, yk?

“My UM? How would you transfer that over? I know your dorm got knocked for that kinda stuff a while back, but I thought it was a unique magic.”

“The Housewarden has some blanks lying around for his convenience, so I just planned to snag a paper and bring the thing up prewritten. You can hold onto the contract if you want tbh, carrying it around is just weird if I’m you.”

“Wait, you can just write yourself as the recipient like that? That’s nuts, I’m surprised I haven’t heard abt incidents with that stuff.”

“Yeah, most people are just too scared to snatch things from the Housewarden like that lol, but I have a good enough rapport to know when I’ll be good enough to grab one. It’s just a single blank, dude can just make a new one.”

“Lmao we’re both being sneaky ig.”

“LMAOOO true. So we have an agreement right? We meet up tomorrow, exchange stuff, I’ll slip and redo the necklace and slip off in your place. Just like, go on a walk near RSA and send a PM with the location attached.”

Rielle sat up in his bed, and crossed his legs. He looked across his room, seeing the large vanity in his room, a spiraling pink coral going up towards the top. He looked back down at the message. Again, a slightly weird feeling. Like, a slight nausea in his stomach.

No, he was probably just kinda nervous. I mean, he got that same kinda feeling when he walked out of the water the first time, right? Besides. Claude was a micromanager. If the kid got caught by Claude, he would already be gone and just have to deal with it when he came back. At the worst case. Best case? No one would know. It’s not like his friends would pry into him taking a walk tomorrow, and he was used to meandering a bit when he went out and did things.

And beyond that, did he really have a better choice?

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, I’ll keep the hair and stuff in a box so I don’t lose it. I’ll even brief you on some of the celebration stuff so you can flow right.”

“Coolio! Pleasure talking.”

• • •

“…hey Jade, why’s like, your burner phone out on your desk. I thought you never used that thing lol.”

It sure was. Huh. Must have forgotten to put it back in his desk drawer.

“I was looking through some of my alternate accounts and seeing if there was anything I could gather about Coralliadom’s planning schedule. Rielle’s Vice has my normal accounts blocked, and as far as I’m aware he’s the one who’ll post updates of their process.”

“Uh…ok. You know that sounds like, hella creepy right?”

“I’m…conscious of it. My name isn’t attached for that very reason. I didn’t find anything though, so I’ll probably have to check tomorrow. Saddening.”

“Ok, whatever, it’s still creepy that you even have a burner phone.”

“‘Burner phone’ is a strong word, Floyd. I’m merely making use of an old phone. It still works, but I have better, so it’s just been relegated to side activities.”

“Can you just put that thing away, I was trying to text you earlier, and not checking your main phone was getting mad annoying.”

Jade sighed. “Ok. I have errands I need to run anyways.”

He took up the burner phone, and went into his wardrobe, opening the drawer at the bottom. In the back corner of it, a small wooden box with a latch lid, wrapped in a blanket. He unwound it, opening the box. Putting in the burner phone, there were only two items in the box. He shut the lid, rewrapped the blanket, and slipped it back into its corner.

The nautilus shell had lost some of its luster from the last time he had used it, and he would have to replace the string. But that hardly mattered.

It would work as well as ever.

#twisted wonderland #Twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland jade #twst jade #jade leech #twst jade leech #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst fanfic #twst fanfiction #twisted wonderland fanfiction #archive of our own #ao3 stuff #twst fic #twisted wonderland fic

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