#there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself first to ensure your own wellbeing

[fourcornersofcreation]

If I see one more post shitting on Percy for being "your average white gym bro frat boy" while praising annabeth for being the "kindest, most empathetic and selfless person ever" I will actually lose it

[alchemania]

Barbara, and Bennett: Toxic Positivity (and how they each exude it)

While it's easy to spot negative toxic behavior, toxic positivity can be harder to recognize and pin down. In this blog, I am going to analyze 2 characters in Genshin and explain just how they show traits of toxic positivity. (I originally was going to include Jean, but I already covered her in an earlier blog so it'd just be redundant)

Barbara Page

Barbara is all smiles and sunshine, trying her best to ensure that everyone is happy. However; she does this to an unhealthy degree and often does not prioritize her emotional wellbeing.

#1: Forcing herself to always be happy.

Barbara's story lines state that she "only allows herself to be depressed for 30 seconds" and that after that, she basically puts on a smile; regardless of what she's actually feeling. She often talks about how good everyone is to her, and I honestly believe that Barbara invalidates her own depression because in her eyes; she has a good life and there's no "reason" for her to be sad, plus if she was sad then everyone else would feel down. She hasn't experienced anything traumatic, so how can she have the right to be depressed? But the thing is, she has: her parents divorced when she was young; and Barbara grew up apart from Jean, leading to a lack of a relationship between the two. While the divorce, based on Jean's story lines, did not seem to have a lot of negativity around it (from what I can tell Simon and Frederica actually split on amiable terms, they just fell out of love with each other), it still affected Barbara in a negative way and no doubt she is hurting from it but she's not acknowledging her pain. All trauma is not the same, this is true. But all trauma IS valid; just because someone is hurting less doesn't mean they're NOT hurting and Barbara needs to understand that her pain is valid and give herself time to process it.

#2: Lack of emotional boundaries

If there's anything that Jean and Barbara have in common besides both being healers, it's that they're absolutely terrible at saying no. In Barbara's hangout, she feels guilty for avoiding Albert and wanting to be left alone despite being emotionally exhausted and even wants to apologise, despite doing nothing wrong. Later on when her fans ask for autographs; she agrees, despite being off the clock and trying to take a break: Aether has to step in personally to get people to go away, and not only that; he has to lie through his teeth in order to do so. If you tell the NPCs the truth ("Barbara is currently on leave, please don't disturb her",) they'll reply "Oh she's on leave? Perfect time to ask for an autograph!" They don't care about her feelings; all they care about is what she can do for them and the worst part is that Barbara lets them treat her like this. It's so bad that the Knights have to constantly step in and rescue her because folks can't get it in their heads that off the clock =/= available; and Barbara feels like if she can help other people that she needs to; to the detriment of her own needs. She seems to think it's selfish to put herself first; but looking out for yourself emotionally is anything but. It's okay to say no, it's okay to tell people you're not available. Just because you're free doesn't mean you're up to engage and there's nothing wrong with that. But like Sister Victoria says herself; Barbara is too nice. She gives and gives and gives and expects nothing in return, and people take advantage of that.

#3: Undermining herself through constant praise of others

In her hangout, she tells you that besides singing and healing, she doesn't have anything worthwhile about her, and then goes on about how amazing you are, Jean as well. Barbara doesn't acknowledge her positive traits, and then when she vents to you she apologizes for doing so, since you were supposed to be hanging out and having fun. She puts a lot of her worth in comparison to what other people can DO, and not actual character. Barbara is a lovely person: she's sweet and kind and loving, but because she doesn't see herself as physically strong or powerful, she doesn't think she's worth a lot.

Bennett

My GOD, Bennett is like the EPITOME of toxic positivity.

1. Allows others to mistreat him and take out their feelings on him because he feels it's his fault they're suffering (essentially, a martyr complex)

Bennett's hangout is a prime example of this where when Royce got angry, Bennett simply let him yell until you step in. Due to his almost perpetual bad luck, he feels that he's responsible for the misfortune of the people around him and since he can't physically do anything about it, he attempts to "atone" by letting himself be emotionally assaulted.

He also puts himself in physical danger to keep other people safe (he figures since he's already unlucky, might as well suffer a little more if it means everybody else is okay, right?), and accepts abandonment as the norm since he's a liability. Bennett does not value his wellbeing whatsoever due to constantly being in danger and he seems to be of the mentality "If I'm going to die, at least let me die protecting everybody" and that immensely upsets me that a KID, who's probably no older than 17, is already considering his mortality.

#2: Not allowing himself to process negative emotion

Just like Barbara, Bennett constantly forces himself to always keep a smile on, only in his case it's more to keep himself from getting overwhelmed about his situation. It's heavily implied in his story that Bennett is afraid that he could die any day (and I don't blame him) and so he lives hard and fast because he feels he doesn't have a lot of time. He's cheated death MULTIPLE times (he almost died as a baby, and he almost died prior to receiving his Vision), and Bennett more than likely feels that one day, he's not going to get lucky enough to escape again; and he'll actually die. His life is an entire string of misfortune and unlike Barbara and her parents divorce, Bennett is aware of this trauma: he simply chooses to take it in stride and forces himself to stay upbeat. Which is just as bad as letting negative emotion completely overwhelm him, it's literally just the other ditch.

Bennett also seems very sad about the fact that his team abandoned him but he doesn't let himself process that either (if you respond angrily to the revelation that his teammates left he'll jump to defend them and insist "they had their reasons"- and that may be true, but that doesn't invalidate the trauma and sadness of being left behind because of something you literally cannot control). Similar to Diluc, Bennett is sort of an Atlas of his own right, but instead of carrying all of Mondstat on his shoulders he's shouldering his emotional wellbeing: he refuses to vent to anyone and bottles everything up because he doesn't want to be a burden; but in doing so he's only hurting himself in the long run.

(Thank God for Razor though it seems like he might be hanging around for the long haul and that makes me immensely happy. I could cry. Please don't let anything bad happen to him and Bennett they deserve friendship)

I'm going to go off the beaten path a bit here but, to all you guys reading this; please remember that:

1. Your trauma is valid, regardless of how "lesser" you think it might be.

2. You are not obligated to give yourself emotionally to other people if you are not up to it. You cannot give what you do not have, and if you're not 100% emotionally wise, you really shouldn't be taking on any more negative energy. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. If people can't respect that then they're not worth your time. Set emotional boundaries and don't budge for anyone. The people who are meant to stay will honor your boundaries.

3. It's okay to be sad! And it's okay to be sad and have no idea why. It doesn't matter if you have a 'good life,' depression doesn't care who you are or where you are on your walk of life and sometimes it hits like a truck. Your sadness is valid and don't be afraid to take the time you need to acknowledge and process your negative emotions.

Please take care of yourselves, friends; and be safe.

Have a good day. 💗

[recollins]

Doctor’s Doctor (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Request: Could you do a Reid x reader where he has a secret significant other who is a surgeon or doctor? Pairing: Spencer x Neutral Reader Length: 4,568 Contains: Fluff, angst if you squint Warnings: None A/N: I have exactly no knowledge of medical procedures or the actual inner workings of a hospital. All of my knowledge for this was based off of my Scrubs obsession from like 2005 and harassing my CNA sister. Do not hold me to accuracy on any of it. Masterlist

--

Spencer was a notorious worrier. There was no denying that, no matter how much he tried to do so. From the amount of germs gathered during his commute to and from work, to the reliability of your alarm system that had gone out on more than one occasion, he always had something nagging at the back of his conscience.

After almost six months with your boyfriend, you’d grown used to his constant concerns. Overall, they didn’t bother you, despite his predictable worry that it did. Honestly, you found it endearing. You’d never really had anyone take an interest on your wellbeing the way he did, and it was just another reason to love him.

Though he wouldn’t admit it, you knew it stemmed from what he saw on the cases he faced. He’d tell you about the better cases, the ones they’d closed with minimal loss or the ones that hadn’t ended as badly as it could’ve, but he never spoke about the ones that didn’t have a reasonably decent ending. The ones that put the heavy, unyielding sadness on his shoulders that took his smile for days. The ones that woke him screaming in the middle of the night, leaving his bright golden eyes dull and haunted until you finally managed to lull him back to sleep.

He wouldn’t speak of them, but you could put the pieces together with the measures he started to implement into your life. When you’d first started dating, your own safety wasn’t something you ever really took into consideration, most evident by your old garage door.

Your house was pretty old – which is how you’d gotten such a good deal on it – and as you weren’t much of a do-it-yourself kind of person, you’d never put much effort into updating or remodeling the more outdated parts of your home. Most notably, your garage door was still the original one installed in the late 60’s. It was so old it wasn’t even automated; heck, it didn’t even actually lock. Since you had to manually open and close it, if you were in a hurry you’d just leave it open when you went to work.

Spencer nearly had a heart attack when he’d first found out.

He’d then hired a company to install a brand new door – complete with securing locks and an entry keypad – and spent an entire weekend testing and re-testing, ensuring you were safe. Ensuring you wouldn’t meet the same fate you guessed others had met on his last case.

“Double-check that it shuts all the way, and doesn’t go back up before you leave,” he’d told you numerous times, demonstrating exactly how to do it over and over again.  “Always watch when it shuts to make sure no one slips inside.”

Two months ago he’d replaced the GPS in your car, explaining the model you’d had was susceptible to being hacked. That one you hadn’t fully understood – so what if someone hacked it? All they’d get are some addresses you’d gone to.

“What are they going to do with that, Spence? Figure out I spend way too much time at Target?”

You’d asked it to joke with him, trying to get a smile on his face for the first time that day. Though he tried to turn away before it showed, you caught the ache of regret in his gaze before he dropped it to the ground.

“Yes,” was all he had managed to force out, but it was all you needed to hear to understand why he was so worried. Since then, you didn’t question him. Though he couldn’t take back what had happened to the victims his team couldn’t save, he could keep it from happening to you. Worrying over your safety helped alleviate some of the guilt and sorrow that had taken up permanent residence inside him, you knew that much.

If it eased Spencer’s mind, it was worth the constant concern he showered you with. That’s what you repeated to yourself as, for the third time that week, you set off your own alarm trying to get into your house at just a little past two in the morning.

Cursing under your breath, you finally got the damn door open and rushed to the keypad on the wall, punching in the code Spencer had set up for you. Unsurprisingly, you got it wrong. He’d picked a completely random string of numbers, reminding you how easy it was to guess someone’s password or code because they made it personal.  

There was only about fifteen seconds left before the system would alert the company, and that was the last thing you needed right now. Dropping everything in your arms to the floor, you jammed in the next six numbers you thought it was .

ERROR – WRONG CODE

“For the absolute love of fuck,” you snarled, going for another attempt. Your phone was ringing before you’d even hit the third number. With a tired sigh you propped the phone on your ear and muttered out a weary, “hello again.”

“Hi, this is Macy from ADT. We see your alarm was triggered and we were calling to ensure you were alright.”

“Yes, I’m fine,” you assured, still jamming numbers. Your phone beeped, and a quick glance confirmed Spencer was trying to reach you. “My boyfriend set up my passcode so well that even I can’t crack it.”

Macy chuckled on the other end and quickly ran through the security questions (that thankfully you’d set up) and in a few minutes the alarm silenced. Spencer had already attempted calling another two times, and if you didn’t hurry he’d show up there himself. Not that you didn’t want to see him, but you both were in desperate need of sleep with how hectic your work had been lately.

“Would you like to change your passcode?” Macy offered, and though it was tempting, you knew Spencer would be upset.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks so much,” you rushed, as Spencer called for the fifth time. You quickly accepted the call and said instantly, “I’m fine, Spence. I’m perfectly fine.”

On the other end of the phone you heard him give a sigh of relief, and you smiled just a bit. His care always touched you and settled the irritation. You’d never been in a relationship with someone who cared about you as much as you did them, and despite the annoyance you really did love how much he cared.

“I’m sorry,” he told you instantly, his voice sounding rough with sleep. “I know this happens a lot –“

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” you promised, scooping up your discarded things from the floor and shuffling yourself into the kitchen, dumping them all onto the counter now. “I’m sorry I woke you up again.”

It was a real pain, having the company call your emergency contact every time this happened. But, just like all the other occasions, Spencer assured immediately, “don’t be. I’d rather be woken by a false alarm than by hearing you were hurt.”

The smile toying on your face couldn’t be helped, and you both sat in warm silence for a few moments. As much as you’d like to talk with your boyfriend – especially after the chaotic night at the hospital you’d just had – you knew how exhausted he had to be.

“You should be sleeping,” you murmured after a few more moments. When he didn’t respond at first, you thought he’d actually fallen asleep. And then, in the background, you heard the sound of someone crying. “Spencer?”

“It’s – that’s Henry,” he mumbled as you heard him get up. You could just picture him rubbing at his eyes as he yawned and explained, “Will and JJ wanted some time alone so I took him for the night. I… think he might be getting sick.”

Your eyes narrowed as you leaned back against the counter. Sure, you weren’t a profiler, but you knew your boyfriend, and you knew that tone of voice. That was his ‘knee-deep in the pit of worry’ voice. The only person he was more protective of than you was his godson.

“You were already awake when ADT called, weren’t you?” He didn’t answer immediately and that confirmed your suspicion. You let out a heavy sigh as you chastised, “Spencer. You just got back from a case and you’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours –”

“He had a fever when I put him to bed,” he defended as you heard him open the door.

“It’s common for children’s temperatures to rise a bit at night,” you reminded him. “And kids his age are prone to colds, which is nothing some sleep can’t help.”

“It wasn’t there this afternoon, though,” he persisted; you could hear the beep of the thermometer, and instead of arguing with him (which you’d learned was a fruitless edeaver not even an hour into your first date) you stayed quiet until you heard it beep again.

“What’s his temp?” you prompted; there was no reply. “Spencer.”

“99.9,” he mumbled. “But that’s higher than it was an hour ago –“

“Does he have any other symptoms?” Again, there was silence. If you could’ve reached through the phone to smack him you would’ve. “Spencer –“

“He didn’t eat as much at dinner,” he finally replied, and you heard him put a hand over the phone as he asked softly, “Henry, does anything hurt?”

There was a tearfully mumbled no and you stifled a sigh, dropping your head back to stare at the ceiling. This man was gonna worry himself to death before he even reached forty. “Okay, Spence. Give him some Tylenol and get him to drink some water. If there are no other symptoms present, he probably just has a cold. It could even be allergies, and he’s just uncomfortable.”

He was quiet at first; you heard him walking down the hall, and then the snap of a light. A moment later he was rifling through what you assumed to be a medicine cabinet as he finally said meekly, “I’m sorry. I know I’m overreacting –“

“Hey. It’s fine. You’re just concerned,” you reminded him gently. “But between the almost back-to-back cases you’ve been working and now me setting off my alarm every other night, you’re wearing yourself out.”

Spencer was quiet again, and you knew him well enough to know he was trying to think of a way to refute what you’d just said. Thankfully though, whether it was the exhaustion or a hint of rationality surfacing, he finally gave a sigh and just mumbled, “I know. You’re right.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you teased, playful smile taking over. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

Finally, you got a laugh out of your boyfriend. He chuckled into the phone, and you easily pictured the bright, toothy grin he was flashing as he huffed, “I know you heard me.”

“Huh, did I? You’ll have to remind me what I heard…”

“I’m not repeating it,” he giggled. You heard Henry’s door opening again and he said a little softer, “I’ve kept you up long enough. I’ll get Henry to sleep and I’ll lay down. I promise.”

“Good. I want you to try and get at least a couple hours of sleep, alright? Doctor’s orders.”

Spencer gave another soft chuckle as he assured, “I’ll give it my best shot, given Henry stays asleep.”

“Alright, baby. I’m gonna go shower and lay down,” you told him, making the executive decision to leave all your crap on the kitchen counter until after you’d slept. “I’ll text you when I’m up. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Spencer murmured, the smile clear in his voice. It was still a relatively new thing to say, and you both got a little giddy every time. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“’Night, Spence.”

Smiling to yourself as you finally hung up, you checked the time and groaned. It was just a few minutes shy of 3am now, and you had to be up in four hours for your next shift. The hospital was ridiculously understaffed; you’d been working overtime just to make sure there was coverage.

Honestly, it was a miracle you’d even gotten to leave tonight. You were pretty sure that if one of the nurses had caught you before you reached the door, you’d still be at work. As much as you wanted to pass out right away, you forced yourself to shower. Finally, ten minutes later you were collapsing into your bed, falling asleep almost the second your head hit the pillow.

Your phone was ringing what felt like only minutes later. Groaning, terrified it was the hospital calling you back in already, you blindly pulled your phone off the charger and dropped it onto the mattress, laying your head on top of it, too tired to hold it up.

“This is Dr. Y/L/N –“

“Y/N,” Spencer’s panicked voice interrupted. “I’m so sorry to wake you, but Henry’s gotten worse.”

It took every shred of self-restraint to hold back the groan of pure frustration. Wearily, you peeled an eye open and peeked at the clock on your nightstand. 3:58am stared back at you. “Spencer it hasn’t even been an hour –“

“He threw up twice, and he says his stomach really hurts,” he rushed, his voice pinched and at least two octaves higher than normal. “His fever’s at 100.8, it’s going up quickly –“

“Hey, okay, okay,” you said quickly, forcing yourself to sit up so you didn’t doze off, the symptoms starting to float around in your groggy head. Escalating fever, nausea, vomiting, stomach pain… those weren’t a good combination. “Alright. Spence, take a breath.”

“Y/N, I’m worried about –“

“I know. But I need you to calm yourself down,” you insisted. Spencer huffed at you – and you rolled your eyes at his stubbornness – but you heard him take in a deep breath and blow it out. “Alright. One more.”

He did as he was told, and when he started speaking again his voice was at least a little less panicked. “I – should I take him to the ER? He’s gotten a lot worse and he’s crying, but I don’t want to worry Will and JJ if I’m just overreacting –“

This time, you were worried he wasn’t, and it’d be quicker to diagnose him instead of having them hole up in the ER. You were already slipping on your sneakers and tugging a sweater out of your closet to throw on over your pajama top. The sweats you had would have to do; you didn’t have the energy to put real pants on.

“Text me their address,” you cut in as you jogged down the steps, swinging through the kitchen to snag your pile of necessities from the counter. At least the laziness paid off; you didn’t have to go hunting for your crap.

You heard the ping of a text as you got into the car, and Spencer’s voice was back a moment later. “Thank you so much. I’m sorry. I know you’re so tired –“

“Spence, really. It’s okay,” you said gently, glancing at the address and typing it in. “My GPS says I’ll be there in about ten minutes. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

“Drive safe,” he told you instantly, and then before hanging up he reminded you, “be sure your garage door shuts all the way.”

The little bit of irritation that had risen up was put out instantly, smile tugging your lips up as you watched the door shut all the way. Despite the exhaustion, you knew this was how Spencer expressed his love. Making sure he and Henry were alright was the least you could do to show him you loved him just as much.

--

Spencer had the door open before you even finished knocking, pulling you into a hug you both really needed. He clung to you, face burying into your neck for several moments before he mumbled,

“I really am sorry, Y/N. You’re so tired and if this is nothing –“

You pulled back and wordlessly cupped his face, pulling him in for a hard kiss. He relaxed under your touch almost instantly, his hand flitting up to wrap around your wrists, keeping your hold on him.

You broke from the kiss just enough to murmur, “Spencer, I don’t know how else to say it, but I’m being completely honest when I say it’s okay. You’re not overreacting. Henry’s worsened and it’s a legitimate cause for concern. You have every right to worry.”

Spencer nodded, his nose brushing yours, thankfully not picking up on the undertones of genuine concern in your voice. You didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily, but you’d seen these symptoms so frequently you were almost certain this was well-deserving of his panic.

You didn’t pull out of Spencer’s hold; you never did. It was an unspoken rule that it was never you that cut off contact. He wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy, but when he was, you never wanted to be the one to push him away or shut him down when he needed you. When he finally did release your wrists to step back, you swept your thumbs over his cheekbones, comforting him before motioning for him to lead the way.

Henry was curled up on the corner of a dark blue couch, clinging to a stuffed Spider-Man toy as he whimpered into the cushion. Kneeling in front of him, you gave a warm smile as you reached out and swept his hair back, feeling his forehead.

Way too warm, you noted; before you could even ask, Spencer was holding out the thermometer. He sat beside Henry at his legs, and despite the pain he was clearly in, Henry instantly shuffled himself around to lay his head on Spencer’s lap, one of his hands coming to tangle into his pajama pants.

Your entire heart melted instantly, seeing the two of them together. You’d never seen Spencer with kids, but it had instantly become one of the top five most beautiful views in the world.

“This is my friend, Dr. Y/N,” he introduced, his large hand settling on Henry’s side, rubbing soothingly. “We need to take your temperature again, okay?”

Henry sniffled and nodded, opening his mouth. As you started the thermometer, you shifted a little closer and said, “Hi Henry. I hear your tummy hurts.”

He gave a small nod, and when the thermometer beeped he reached up and held it out to you as he whimpered, “it hurts real bad.”

“I’m sorry you don’t feel good,” you apologized as you took a quick look at his temperature. 101.2. That wasn’t good. “Henry, can I take a look at your tummy really quick?”

With another small nod, you and Spencer helped him roll onto his back. Even just that small movement had more tears flowing, his little face screwed up as he turned and buried it against Spencer’s thigh.

There was no doubt in your mind now, but just to be thorough, you pressed lightly against the right side of his stomach. He let out a yelp of pain, and that was all you needed. Spencer caught the look on your face as you got to your feet.

“Spence, can you set up Henry’s car seat in my car?” you asked, keeping your voice calm so you didn’t panic the tearful little boy staring up at you with wide, worried eyes. Picking up on your demeanor, Spencer said gently,

“Of course. Henry, I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay Uncle Spencer,” he mumbled, allowing himself to be settled back on the couch. The moment he grabbed the car seat, Spencer all but sprinted outside. You tugged out your phone, moving to stand in the hall while keeping an eye on Henry as you dialed the nurse on call.

“Hey, Ashley, it’s Dr. Y/L/N. I know I’m not scheduled until seven, but there’s an emergency and I’ll be bringing in a patient,” you explained hastily. With the hospital so understaffed, even with priority it might take a while for Henry to be taken care of. You’d be his surgeon today.

“Is everything alright?” she asked hastily; you heard her already assembling the paperwork you needed.

“I’ll need an operating room and a team ready to perform an appendectomy.”

--

The sun was just coming through the window of the post-op room, illuminating Henry’s sleeping figure in a soft orange glow. You’d stopped in on your way to the waiting room, just to make sure he was okay.

Ashley held his chart out to you and you gave her a smile of thanks as she said, “I know it’s usually me talking to the family, but since this is personal I figured you’d want to do it. I’ll stay here with him for now, he should be up pretty soon.”

“You’re the best,” you said, giving her arm a thankful squeeze before you made your way to find Spencer and a couple of very concerned parents.

This wasn’t how you and Spencer had planned to introduce you to his team; he’d wanted you to come to one of their dinner parties in a few weeks to meet everyone at once. Though it was sudden and unexpected, you’d be lying to say you weren’t eager to meet JJ and Will. She was his best friend and after all you’d heard about both of them you were more than ready to make introductions.

The first waiting room only held a sleeping couple and a frantic woman pacing around the chairs. As you got closer to the second room, though, several different voices could be heard. When you stepped into the room, though, you hadn’t been prepared to see every member of Spencer’s team gathered inside.

He’d shown you dozens of pictures, and it wasn’t hard to match the faces to names. Penelope had to be the extremely colorful woman in a seat against the far wall, leaning on a painfully attractive man you instantly recognized as Morgan. Two older gentleman – Hotch on the left and Rossi on the right – were standing aside, talking casually with one another, their eyes on the panicked couple across from them.

Will and JJ were on the edge of their seats, hands clasped together as they talked quietly with a women who was unmistakably Emily. She was the first to spot you, brows raising in question. You cleared your throat and asked,

“Henry LaMontagne?”

All seven heads snapped to you instantly, catching you off-guard. You met each stare briefly before an eighth head popped out from behind Hotch and Rossi. Spencer looked exhausted, but his soft brown eyes lit up seeing you.

“Y/N, how is he?” he asked, hurrying out of his chair and coming around to you. JJ and Will got up as well, and though they were focused on you, you didn’t miss the way the rest of the team was looking between you and your boyfriend.

“He’s just fine,” you assured, and everyone visibly relaxed. “Thanks to Spencer, we got him here before his appendix burst and the surgery went through without a hitch. We’ll have to keep him overnight – it’s just normal procedure after an emergency surgery – but he’ll be good to go home tomorrow morning.”

Spencer moved unexpectedly, his arms instantly encircling you and pulling you into a tight hug. For a quiet, blissful moment the chaos of the morning came to a halt. Instead of panic and exhaustion and worry, it was just the two of you, caught up in your own world, both relaxing into one another after the last few grueling hours.

“Thank you so much for all you did,” he murmured against your neck, pressing a swift kiss against it as he reluctantly pulled back, smiling up at you with nothing short of love in his eyes. “You’re really amazing, you know that?”

You went to answer when a throat cleared from behind Spencer. Your boyfriend’s eyes slowly widened in realization, as if he’d just remembered the other people around you two. When he turned and stepped aside, you saw the rest of his team watching you both with grins.

Spencer’s ears and cheeks were flushed a dark pink, and you knew your own face wasn’t any different. Morgan was the first to move, stepping up and clapping your boyfriend on the shoulder as he looked between the two of you.

“Well, well, well. Look’s like the doctor’s got himself a doctor.”

Spencer, bless his adorable heart, was still at a loss for words. Whether it was the lack of sleep, the adrenaline of the last few hours finally wearing off, or the buzz of what you guessed was probably way too much caffeine (because you knew he’d been abusing the free coffee down the hall), you really couldn’t say. All he managed was a quick nod, and then a feeble attempt of,

“This – um, Y/N is my doctor – no, wait. So, we’ve been dating, um –“

With a laugh, you reached out and squeezed Spencer’s hand and then held your other out to Morgan. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N.” After a brief moment of deliberation, you grinned and added, “I’m the doctor’s doctor.”

The others laughed as you shook their hands briefly before turning to Will and JJ.

“I’m sure Henry’s awake by now. If you’d like, we can go check on him and I’ll have my nurse bring your entourage to meet us in his room.”

“That’d be fantastic,” JJ sighed, looping you into a hug of your own as Will rubbed her back soothingly, smiling in thanks at you. “Really, we’re so glad you dropped everything to help Henry.”

Giving her a hug of reassurance, you motioned for her and Will to start down the hall. Before you got more than a step and a half, Spencer’s hand had caught your own. When you turned to him, you were surprised to see the characteristic frown of worry on his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked quickly, looking between his soft hazel eyes, concern of your own starting to spark.

“I just – is this okay? This was all so sudden, you just got thrown into the middle of everything, I didn’t give you any warning to meet everyone and –“

“And you know what?” you cut in gently, and he tipped his head a hint in question. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“Really?” he asked softly, a small smile peeking through his frown. “I just… I didn’t want to overwhelm you or… or scare you off.”

“You don’t need to worry, Spence. Really.” He raised his brows and gave a pointed glance around us, and I let out a laugh. “Okay, okay. Garage doors and sick kids are one thing, but me leaving you? Never. You’re sort of stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he teased, and to your surprise, he leaned down and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to your lips before stepping back. “For the record, though, I now have proof that I don’t always worry too much.”

Well, shit. He had a point. Rolling your eyes, you made down the hall after JJ and Will, shaking your head at Spencer as he started down the hall for the coffee machine. Alright, if his constant anxieties didn’t send him to an early grave, the ungodly amount of caffeine he consumed certainly would.

You’d save that to worry about for another day.  

[meditativeyoga]

The secret to effortless living

There was a time when survival for a human being indicated food as well as sanctuary. Today, food as well as sanctuary are obtaining a growing number of challenging as well as pricey. It is great to have all those things however they ought to not become the determining variables of your life. What kind of food you consume, what type of clothes you wear, what type of residence you reside in-- each one organises these points inning accordance with his capacity but they should not come to be restricting elements, they are just the sustaining variables of your life. Whether you travelled from your the home of your office on foot or on a bicycle or in a Maruti or a Mercedes, it is simply a concern of different individuals's monetary capacities, choice as well as opportunity.

The important thing is you arrived, the ways of traveling is only incidental. This is real with every element of your life. However the incidental variables have taken on such sensational relevance that the fundamental feature of life has been completely forgotten. The process has come to be a lot more vital compared to the genuine thing. We are attempting to graduate from one material point to another due to the fact that our company believe that is happiness.

Don't follow the herd

It is in pursuit of happiness that you do the whole circus in your life. Different people could have various concepts about the best ways to arrive, but everyone remains in pursuit of happiness. The human race has actually been doing so much to achieve happiness and also wellness on this world that in this quest, we are damaging the extremely world on which we live. We must first recognize exactly what our idea of wealth is. Is it simply around more buildings, even more equipments, more cars and trucks, more ... everything?

If I go to the West as well as ask them, "Why don't you practice meditation?" the usual antiphon is, "Oh but we have actually reached pay bills." I claim, "Why do you individuals create a lot of expenses? If your whole life has to do with paying costs, why generate them? You can stop on your own and live even more pleasantly, isn't really it? To pay those costs, you are simply functioning endlessly. What's the factor?" The solution usually is, "everybody is doing it." No matter, they are all driven by someone else. You do not attempt to do exactly what somebody else does. When it involves outdoors circumstances, we have actually not included equivalent abilities. No two human beings are made with the same level of ability. There perhaps someone who can do a thousand points in a day without experiencing or being emphasized. Possibly you could do only three things in a day, it's okay.

Limit juggling to what you can

Life puts us in several situations where handling things is like balancing. Being in the family members is a big balancing procedure. Keep your feelings aside as well as simply consider it sincerely. Our lives have numerous complicated activities. We have different sorts of connections and also different degrees of involvement with different kinds of individuals on a daily basis. We are frequently changing from one kind of relationship to one more. Possibly you were just handling with two balls as well as it was rather simple.

Then you selected up more spheres as well as the juggling came to be challenging. When you wish to use up more task, there will be extra managing. You can not help it, that's the means it is. So when you require to juggling, you had better develop some skill. Otherwise, the spheres will be spread all over the location and you will be going crazy each day since you cannot hold things in area. Exactly how efficiently you carry your life just depends on the level of proficiency you have over juggling. This minute you might get on the phone with your business companion as well as the next minute you could be speaking with your spouse or your youngster. Life resembles this, it is continuously shifting. You can't simply tune on your own: "Ok, today I am going to resemble this." So, due to the complexity of this modification, if you occur to treat your wife like you treat your organisation companion, quickly you will remain in trouble. Or if you treat your business partner like your wife, you will certainly remain in problem, isn't really it?

So prior to we enter any situation, you need to check out your ability to manage. "Can I juggle all this and still enjoy or will I get shed when juggling?" If you are very little of a juggler, you much better continue to be alone as well as manage on your own. Every little thing includes a certain discomfort and satisfaction. There is a cost to pay in every aspect of life.

So prior to handling anything in your life, you must ask yourself: are you ready to pay the price? Every person needs to choose just how much of exactly what is right for him. Your neighbour may have a 100-bedroom house-- maybe he wants to reside in a hotel. For yourself, you must decide just how much you require. You do not do things like him. This is the greatest problem, we are attempting to do things like someone else. That's the wrong method to come close to life. We have to decide what does it cost? of exactly what we must carry out in our lives-- just how much outside task or internal wellness or social wellbeing would certainly maintain our life balanced without spoiling us and also the ambience around us. Unfortunately, such knowledge is missing out on in the world, we are just going widespread. It is crazy the method we are going due to the fact that the sort of lifestyle the globe has selected is simply not sustainable.

Don't die surviving

Today, if you have adequate loan, you could enter into a store and get every little thing that you need for a whole year. It has never ever resembled that on this world. Survival has constantly been a wonderful struggle. Today, for the initial time, the survival procedure has actually ended up being absolutely arranged. Currently is the moment to find expression to further measurements of being a human. The majority of individuals select to complicate their survival. We still do not seem to be do with survival. We wish to make the survival process so complicated that we will certainly spend the remainder of our life defending survival.

It is essential that you streamline your survival process to ensure that the further dimensions of that you are find expression in your life. It is incredibly essential that you find out exactly what it means to just sit below and also reverberate as an item of life since that is the supreme ecstasy of being below. And also now that our survival is typically cared for, I assume we should trigger a wave of bliss any place we go. As well as because we do not do that, we wrap up that a human being ways being an unpleasant, ineffective 'absolutely nothing'.

When you utilize the expression, "Oh, I'm simply human," it indicates, "I'm just powerless nonsense." We require to change the context of what it indicates to be human. When someone claims, "I'm human" he has to suggest "I'm delighted. I can wonderful things within myself." We've decided to make a human being right into a miserable worm who simply defend his survival throughout his life. We are capable of arranging our survival as if we don't have to have a hard time for survival every day-- unless we make complex the survival process.

For most people, the survival process itself is ending up being a full time job. Simply to work, to reproduce and to die one day, exactly what a fuss they make! Also a worm as well as an insect with their minute brains handle their survival rather well. Nature has actually offered every human considerable intelligence to care for his and also his offspring's survival. You are simply exaggerating it.

Stop clinging

A while earlier, I had a major squirrel problem in your home. The mommy squirrel brought to life 4 children. 3 of them got consumed yet the mommy doted upon the last one. She would watch her child go throughout my points, biting into everything. Here was a mom that was excited for her kid to discover its squirrel business as quickly as feasible, she intended to be complimentary of him as soon as feasible. Sadly, most human moms and dads don't have this sense. They want their youngsters to find out the human service as slowly as possible due to the fact that they don't have a life of their very own. They obtain some life just by hanging on to their kids. Which's the reason there is so much juggling. People declare to be one of the most intelligent varieties. Our youngsters should be totally free of their moms and dads a lot quicker than anyone else, isn't really it? Yet that does not occur due to the fact that we look at our youngsters as a funding based upon which we could live our future lives-- when we are alive as well as likewise after we are dead. It is as a result of this that the juggling appears so much of a headache, not or else. Family is not the issue, your personal insecurity and also your very own 'desire' to stick to things around you is the actual problem.

Don' t do anything for fulfilment

Human life does not finish with survival, it begins only when survival is looked after. If we had concerned this planet like any various other animal, then eating, sleeping, replicating and dying someday would certainly have been a complete procedure on its own. Also as a human you should do all these points. Somehow for human beings life doesn't seem to be fulfilled with them. Whatever activity you could have executed, life has not attained fulfilment. In every stage of your life you believe, "If this takes place, my life will certainly end up being total." As a child you believed, "If I obtain this plaything, my life will certainly be full." You obtained it but after 3 days, you threw it away. Life did not acquire fulfilment.

Then you believed that if you complete your education and learning, life would certainly be full. That also taken place but there was no fulfilment. Then you began to think, "Exactly what's the usage of functioning like a donkey? If only I get wed to that man or woman I enjoy, my life would certainly be made." That occurred and after that you know just what happened.

Fulfilment does not come since of some activity you do. Just if your frame of mind is complete, will certainly your life acquire fulfilment. Now, the human condition is such that without knowing anything regarding the nature of his presence, you are attempting to make a living and in some way pass via the globe. Your body, mind, emotion and also energies are the automobiles with which you travel with your life. Without any kind of understanding, control or subjective experience concerning them, you are attempting to live your life. This is an unexpected existence. When you exist mistakenly, even if you procure someplace in life, it will just be by accident. So, when a person is experiencing his whole life in an accidental way, experiencing anxiousness, concern and battle is all-natural. We go about stating, "Life is a battle." Life is not a struggle.

Get a grip on yourself

You are obtaining emphasized out merely due to the fact that you have no idea the best ways to function smoothly within on your own. You have no control over your own system. If your mind, body as well as powers were taking guidelines from you and also behaving the way you wanted them to, you wouldn't get worried no issue what was occurring around you. You should do something about this. If this does not occur, you will certainly continue living life by accident and also always be really hoping that circumstances function out.

If you are looking for to increase the range and also play of your life, if you are seeking challenging circumstances, then you need to do something concerning the way you function. Challenging scenarios suggest that you will face scenarios that you have no hint around. If you are the kind that obtains stressed out, normally you will certainly prevent those situations.

When you prevent those scenarios, you will naturally avoid all feasible growth for yourself. Today, so several people are getting into challenging tasks and are multi-tasking, however a large number of them could not be naturally outfitted to deal with such situations. This is why we see so lots of individuals losing their performance and simply damaging up while seeking their occupations-- surrendering to burnouts.

If you are regularly looking for obstacles in your life, and also you don't equip yourself with an internal security as well as an internal feeling of pleasure within on your own by your very own nature, you are bound to become a calamity over a duration of time. You could achieve success in your job however as a human you would have stopped working because you could not enjoy the procedure of life. Such individuals are not cheerful or serene, they have actually come to be stressful. If you are difficult, that implies somehow you have failed yourself, isn't really it?

When you tweak yourself to such a factor that the fundamental professors operate so wonderfully within you, then normally the most effective of your abilities will certainly simply drain of you. If you really intend to bring high quality into your life as well as to perpetuate that quality right into life around you, the most importantly thing that you have to do is to establish your internal truths in a certain way with a particular security. Just what is within you-- your mind, your feelings and your system need to not experience upheavals when facing the challenges of life. Just when there are no inner turmoils as well as concerns can you handle the outdoors problems well.

Take the first step

So exists a method to produce an internal circumstance? Yes. As there is a science and also technology to developing outside situations the way we desire them, we have an entire scientific research as well as technology to produce inner situations the method we want them. As we have engineered the globe, we can additionally engineer our interiority. Without it, we end up operating by accident.

The firstly action that every person ought to take is: furnish on your own making on your own the means you intend to be. If this occurs, creating the exterior will become easy. You inform me, when can you utilize your body and mind well? When you are pleased or dissatisfied? When you more than happy you can effortlessly handle points, yet when you are stressed out or dissatisfied, the very same little points freak you out. If you are joyful, increasing a hill is also effortless, right? It could take a great deal of exertion, however you feel it's easy since you are doing it happily. When you are doing it joylessly, every little thing is difficult. When you are doing it happily, everything is effortless.

Effortless does not imply resting on a sofa. When I say simple and easy, I am stating, as soon as you get involved in a particular state of pleasantness within on your own, as soon as you are joyous by your very own nature, every little thing is easy. When you are satisfied, you agree to playing around and do everything since you do not feel the initiative of it. Effortlessness does not imply lethargy, ease indicates that in your experience, it's not burdensome.

Once a person is at simplicity within himself, normally he functions at his ideal. Bringing this sense of ease, bringing this feeling of effortlessness within you is essential. If you truly want to boost the high quality of your life, you have to take this step and also be willing to spend a little bit of time for your inner health and wellbeing. If this is done, you will see a remarkable change in the means you work. The necessary innovation is there-- I call it Internal Engineering, the optimal of wellbeing.

Inner Design is simply this, that you craft your interiority to make sure that you operate effortlessly within on your own. This does not indicate you stay clear of challenging scenarios. When you are uncomplicated within you, you seek them. Inner Design implies you discover exactly how to perform this piece of life. If you know just how to conduct it, after that inning accordance with your ability, you can additionally conduct the outside effortlessly.

If your health and wellbeing is constantly under hazard, you will certainly not take care of the outdoors well. If you intend to manage every little thing well outside, if you wish to achieve success in your life, you must simply discover exactly how to utilize these 4 limbs and a few mind cells, that's all that's needed. Just how vivid and also focused your mind is, how vivid and healthy your body is, that's just what decides just how successful you are.

[massthetics-blog]

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7 Simple Ways To Bulletproof Your Health

7 Simple Ways To Bulletproof Your Health

  Chances are that you’re cruising the pages of MASSthetics reading this because building a hallmark physique is something that entices you, excites you, and is one of your main motivations for training in the first place.

A goal off which, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with.

  But despite what you may think or have been told, building a hallmark physique reaches well beyond simply training dirty and eating clean (el-oh-el). Or wearing t-shirts proclaiming your warmup to be another’s one rep max. Or insinuating that if you’re not going to go hard, you should go home.

Yeah, fuck those shirts.

Anyway. To create a truly powerful shift in your physique, there’s raised a call for a change in your lifestyle as a whole. Often, it’s this lifestyle shift itself that poses the greatest battle for many.

Many won’t admit this, but the “key” to building a physique that you’re proud of, and represents your hard work is more deeply rooted in tending to your health and laying a solid foundation for yourself rather than it is knocking out 3058 curls every other day.

Or chasing a dangerously heavy bench press.

Or not taking days off, because, “bro.”

Or snorting pre-workout in hopes of faster absorption and greater effectiveness.

You see what I’m getting at here? All too often, otherwise well-intentioned lifters will chase the shiny object (moving as much weight as possible, training every single day for hours on end, or snorting pre-workout) while losing sight of the much less sexy dull, blunt objects that will actually help move the needle forward.

Such as the 7 dull, blunt objects below, that if ingrained into your life, will see your physique begin to make the changes you’ve been pushing for.

Read on.

#1. Cardio

We might as well start with the one thing that’s most likely to have you heave your computer into the street, pull out your your hair in fits of disbelief, and cause you to never visit this site again.

And so it is.

Because, there is value in doing regular cardio throughout the year. No, it won’t eat away at your muscle. No, you won’t “lose precious gains,” and no, it doesn’t have to be drab, boring, or as painful as pulling teeth.

Cardio is quite literally anything that elevates your heart rate for a given length of time. Which for your overall health, mental state, wellbeing, and longevity is a really fucking good thing.

Again, this is extending beyond adding more muscle to your frame, or chasing dangerously low levels of body fat.

The best way to go about implementing regular forms of cardio into your life?

Find a method you enjoy, and make it a regular habit 2-4 times a week.

Go for walks, take a bike ride, do some sprints at a park, enjoy a long hike, basically anything where you’re moving at a moderate clip for a length of time. The goal is simply to elevate your heart rate, aid your circulation, and move like your body was meant to.

Admittedly, it’s been far too long. But, sprinting is my favourite by far.

#2. Have a social life

Humans are social creatures. We always have been, and always will be (pending artificial intelligence hitting the mainstream and taking over).

As such, interacting with your fellow beings is important for your overall health.

Even if you’d rather hide at home.

As a personal example, I force myself to go out to cafes at least 5 times per week so that I have to have human interaction outside the gym, or online. Granted, that’s not much. But, if do nothing else with a social aspect during the week, that’s enough to keep me able to hold a conversation.

On top of that, I make a point each week of…

Scheduling sessions with a training partner, going out to feast on sushi, or *not* wearing headphones on walks.

While being able to be happy of your own accord is important, so is social interaction heathy for your mental state as a human being.

And yes, this will trickle down into your training as well.

#3. Cover your bases with simplistic supplementation

I’m not going to dive deep into this as I talked a lot about the importance of simplistic supplementation in this article on supplementing for Muscle Building and General Health. It’s nearly a cliche at this point, but supplements are just that. A supplement to your nutrition and lifestyle.

That means they don’t replace anything so much as they simply fill holes where you may otherwise be falling short.  If you’re training hard, there are a few things you should be taking to help keep yourself pushing hard, healthy, and progressing.

For more, I open up the MASSthetics Supplement Cupboard and talk about what I personally use on a daily basis.

#4. Get out in the sun

Everyone could use some more of that there Vitamin D in their lives.

Vitamin D is associated with improving your mental cognition, boosting immune and bone health, as well as elevating your mood. There’s even a study (albeit just one) that points to consistent supplementation of Vitamin D over a year to promote and boost your testosterone levels. Which if you care at all about your health (and building muscle), is a very good thing.

Diving deeper into the Vitamin D rabbit hole, it plays a key role in nearly 3000 gene expressions. And that’s onto of the muscle building and strength development mentioned above.

If you live on or near the equator, you can probably get away without supplementing as the sun is *somewhat* strong there. But if live anywhere else, you’re going to want to make a point of getting out in the sun when it’s there, and fortifying yourself with Vitamin D supplementation.

See, if you live near the equator you also have access to sunsets like this.

#5. Manage inflammation

Inflammation is a silent and deadly killer.

In of itself, it has the capability to slam the breaks on any fat loss or muscle gain, even if you’re doing everything else right.

Not to mention that rampant destruction it can take on your health. Which makes managing inflammation of the utmost importance.

Thankfully, this can be done rather easily.

Supplement to support your joints (Fish oil, curcumin, glucosamine, chondroitin).

Avoid foods that cause adverse reactions (you know what I’m talking about – and I don’t care how delicious it may be).

Prioritize recovery, and don’t run yourself into the ground.

Ensure you’re getting adequate sleep.

Eat your damn veggies.

Specifically referring to the state of your joints, your joint health is directly related to your ability to train to your full potential, and well into your later years.

Don’t be a fool, and make keeping a lid on inflammation a priority (especially as it relates to your joints).

#6. Support your digestion

I believe in maintaining excellent digestion so much that I wrote an entire article on Gut Gains: How To Improve Your Digestion.

Rather than regurgitate everything, I suggest you take 5 minutes to read up on how to improve your digestion (in 12 simple steps!).

Seriously, though. It’s not hard to make massive improvements to your digestion. And the payoff will be hyuge.

Because like inflammation, the state of your digestion has the ability to help you make them gains, or halt you in your tracks.

Given the state of many people’s digestion these days, this is often the first thing I attend to when working with a new client.

Heed that…

Lemon, Salt, Ginger, and the list goes on. All will help support and improve your digestion.

#7.Have a hobby to complement your training

As much as I love the gym, training itself, and love when others share the same feeling, it is important to have other dimensions to your life. Whether it’s spending time friends, your family, or having something that you do on your own.

Because there will invariably be times in your day (or life) where you don’t have to work, you’ve trained already, and you likely don’t want to watch hours of Netflix all day. Being able to fill your downtime with something that brings you value and enjoyment is great to have, and also adds another dimension to who you are as a person.

If you’re stuck with ideas, start by picking up a book.

Or go for a walk.

The final reps.

Health is something that is often lost on the quest for rapid fat loss or building as much muscle as possible. The forest is lost for the trees, so to speak.

Around these parts though, that won’t fly. Because without health, everything you’ve worked for will fall down, and fall apart around you.

Take care of your bottom line, your health, and the rest will take care of itself.

  PS. 4 out of 5 lifters will let their rationalization hamster run wild. Building no muscle, burning no fat. The 5th lifter joined the MASSthetics Clan and put the information within the (free) Hypertrophy Handbook to good use. Problem solved. Click here to become the 5th lifter, and let me know where to send the prestigious Hypertrophy Handbook.