#there's a lot of thoughts in my head but I hope this is enough

[starryjake]

thinking about toxic situationship!heeseung :(

you’re by far his favorite out of all the girls he fucks but he’s too cocky to let you know that. in the back of your mind, though, you know. you can’t imagine that he takes his other girls out for late night ramen or lets them sit on his lap and watch him play video games.

you can’t imagine he’s as gentle and sweet during aftercare with anyone else. in fact, you really hope he isn’t. you hope he kicks out all the other girls he sleeps with as soon as he’s done with them. you hope that he doesn’t let them spend the night like he does with you, even going as far as to make you breakfast or take you out the next day.

every time he’s with another girl, he can’t stop thinking about fucking annoying they are and can’t help himself from comparing them to you. he knows you would be so much better: better at sucking his dick, better at riding him, just your pussy in general was better.

he’d text you when he was hanging out with other girls, not even waiting for them to leave the room but doing it right next to them. he didn’t care if they could see, even when he was texting you about how bad they were and how he wished he were with you instead.

heeseung: this blows

y/n: whys that?

heeseung: bc she isn’t you baby

y/n: you could always leave and come over :)

heeseung: aww my girl wants me to ditch this chick and come fuck her instead? is that what you want, little princess?

y/n: fuck hee…please :(

he could not say no to you. 10 minutes later and he’s ditched the random girl he was with and was instead pounding you into your mattress, grunting loudly as you clenched around him.

“fuck yeah, baby,” he moaned, hips drilling into you. “you’re such a good girl. so much fucking better than anyone else.”

and you took it so well, eating up every last word.

he also loved that you didn’t talk to any other guys. you just wanted him and only him so, so badly, and maybe if he did relationships, he would choose you to be his girlfriend. but, he didn’t date and he made sure you were aware of that from the start your situationship. but the point was, he loved that you were still loyal to him, not even wanting to talk to another guy because they just weren’t heeseung. no one did it like him.

no one ate you out until you were squirting everywhere and shaking like he did. no one fucked you until your eyes were rolling into the back of your head and drooling onto his sheets like he did. no one made you feel like passing out from intense pleasure like heeseung.

you liked him. you were probably in love with him. you hated knowing he saw other girls and he loved knowing it made you upset. he loved knowing that you liked him enough to get so jealous of other girls.

again, he would never tell you that he couldn’t give less of a shit about the other girls. in fact, he would purposely use them just to make you jealous, fucking them for the sole reason of knowing you would hate it. your jealousy was what got him off because it showed that you cared about him, that you wanted him all to yourself.

he thought about you every time he thrusted his cock inside another girl’s pussy. he thought about how much tighter you were than them. how much warmer, wetter, and more delicious you were.

heeseung liked you a lot too. he was also probably in love with you and he realized that when he was finishing on the tits of someone else and moaned out your name instead of theirs.

-

like sorry i just needed to get this off my chest bc heeseung is FUCKING WITH ME TODAY!!

anyway how are y’all? :3

[novaursa]

Fire Cannot Heal

- Summary: A raven arrives from Dragonstone carrying news dark as its wings.

- Paring: niece!reader/Daemon Targaryen

- Note: A lot of angst and death of the reader who Daemon married along with her older sister Rhaenyra in Valyrian tradition.

- Rating: Mature 16+

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround

The air in Harrenhal was damp and heavy, a faint chill creeping through even the thickest of cloaks. Simon Strong sat across from him, droning on about the movements of the Hightower forces and their plans to hold the Riverlands.

Daemon Targaryen wasn’t listening.

His thoughts wandered to Dragonstone, to the turbulent seas and dark skies above its cliffs. He imagined the roaring fires of the hearths and the laughter of his sons echoing through the halls. Then, unbidden, his mind conjured the image of you, softer and gentler than either himself or Rhaenyra, seated by the window in your chamber with a hand resting on your belly, your lips curving into a smile as you spoke of your hopes for the child you carried.

Daemon’s hand tightened around his cup as he exhaled slowly, almost in frustration. The child. He had never expected such joy to stem from your union, a marriage of necessity, one he had likened to Aegon and Visenya’s—a duty, a convenience. You knew it, too, and he had seen the knowledge in your eyes even on your wedding day. Yet now…now, with the prospect of this child, there had been something new between you. Something he had not known how to name but had begun to crave.

The door creaked open, snapping Daemon from his thoughts. A messenger, pale and out of breath, stumbled into the hall, clutching a parchment sealed with the black wax of Dragonstone. The urgency in his movements immediately silenced Simon’s voice.

“My prince,” the messenger began, his voice trembling, “I bring word from Dragonstone. A raven arrived.”

Daemon stood without hesitation, his boots heavy against the stone floor as he crossed the room in a few long strides. The parchment was thrust into his hands, and he broke the seal with a swift, impatient motion.

The words swam before his eyes, black ink staining the rough parchment like spilled blood:

Silverwing…Rook’s Rest…Vhagar…Aemond…fallen…

His breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. He read the message again, slower this time, as if the meaning would change if only he looked hard enough. But the words remained the same.

You were gone.

He stumbled back a step, his hand clutching the edge of the table for support. The messenger’s voice was faint in the background, explaining what the letter did not say outright. “The queen sent her…to bolster Lord Staunton’s defense. Silverwing…they say she was torn from the sky by Vhagar…”

Simon Strong rose, concern evident in his eyes. “My prince? What has happened?”

Daemon didn’t answer. His eyes remained fixed on the parchment, his fingers curling tightly around its edges until the paper crumpled. His mind refused to accept the words.

You, with your soft smiles and timid nature. You, who had hesitated even to ride Silverwing into a storm. You, carrying his child—their child—had been sent to battle.

He shook his head slowly, disbelieving. “Why?” The word slipped from his lips, quiet and raw. “Why would Rhaenyra send her?”

“She thought it wise to send your wife…” the messenger began hesitantly, but Daemon’s head snapped up, and the venom in his eyes silenced the man instantly.

“She thought it wise?” Daemon’s voice rose, sharp as Valyrian steel. “She thought it wise to send a woman heavy with child, one whose dragon has never known the savagery of war, against Vhagar and that wretched boy?”

The parchment fell from his hands as he turned away, pacing like a caged animal. His thoughts warred within him. The anger, the grief, the disbelief—they threatened to tear him apart. You were gone. The child, your child, was gone.

His hands clenched into fists. “Rhaenyra…she knew.” His voice was low now, dangerously calm. “She knew Y/N was gentle, too gentle for this. She knew Silverwing was no match for Vhagar. And yet…” He trailed off, his voice breaking for the first time.

Simon stepped closer, his tone cautious. “My prince, perhaps there is more to this. The queen may have had no choice—”

“No choice?” Daemon turned on him, his violet eyes blazing. “No choice but to send her own sister, my wife, the mother of my child to her death? No, Simon, there is always a choice.”

His mind reeled with the implications. The child would have been the first tangible bond of their marriage, something more than the duty and expectation that had defined it. And now…now, there was nothing.

Daemon’s shoulders sagged under the weight of the realization. His anger burned hot and bright, but beneath it was a grief so profound it threatened to swallow him whole. He sank into a chair, his head in his hands.

For a long moment, there was only silence.

When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. “She smiled when I left,” he murmured, his words barely audible. “She smiled and said she would wait for me. She said our child would wait for me.”

Simon remained silent, understanding that no words could soothe this wound.

Daemon’s mind drifted back to you once more—to the way your hand had rested protectively over your belly, the soft laughter that had escaped you when you spoke of names for the child. He had never told you, but he had begun to hope.

Now, that hope was gone, and all that remained was a searing, empty ache.

“Bring Caraxes,” Daemon said at last, his voice cold and resolute. He rose to his feet, his grief now tempered by a cold determination. “I'm leaving.”

The winds howled over the jagged cliffs of Dragonstone, carrying with them the salt-laden air of the Narrow Sea. Caraxes’ roar echoed against the walls as Daemon dismounted in the courtyard, his boots slamming into the stone with purpose. The red worm curled protectively behind him, his growls a low, rumbling threat to anyone who dared approach. Daemon ignored the Dragonkeepers and the soldiers that hurried to greet him, his violet eyes fixed on the entrance to the castle.

He stormed inside without a word. The castle’s halls, usually filled with warmth and firelight, seemed cold and dim to him now. Every flicker of torchlight reminded him of the flames that had consumed Silverwing, and every shadow seemed to mock him with the absence of you.

His footsteps thundered through the throne room, where he knew she would be. Rhaenyra was seated on the great black chair, her crown glinting in the faint light. Advisors and courtiers lingered nearby, their whispers dying as Daemon entered, his face a storm of rage and grief.

“Leave us,” he commanded, his voice cutting through the room like a blade.

Rhaenyra raised her hand, dismissing her attendants without question. Her gaze was steady as she watched him approach, though there was tension in the set of her jaw. She knew why he had come.

When the room emptied, Daemon halted at the foot of the throne, his eyes burning into hers. “Why?” he asked, his voice low and trembling with barely restrained fury. “Why did you send her to Rook’s Rest?”

Rhaenyra straightened, her tone defensive. “Daemon, you know why. We needed—”

“You needed?” Daemon interrupted, his voice rising. “You needed to send a woman heavy with child, one who has never known the horrors of war, against Vhagar? You needed to send my wife, your sister, and her gentle dragon to their deaths?”

Rhaenyra’s lips tightened. “She had a dragon, Daemon. A dragon as powerful as any—”

“No,” Daemon snapped, slamming his fist against the armrest of the throne. “Silverwing was no war dragon. She was gentle, like her rider. And you knew that.”

“She volunteered!” Rhaenyra argued, her voice rising to match his. “She wanted to serve our cause. She knew what was at stake.”

“She was my wife,” Daemon growled, stepping closer, “and you sent her to die.”

Rhaenyra flinched at his words, but her chin lifted defiantly. “We are at war, Daemon. Sacrifices must be made. She knew that as well as any of us.”

Daemon’s laugh was bitter, hollow. “Sacrifices? Is that what you call her? A sacrifice?” His voice broke, but he pressed on. “Do you know what I found at Rook’s Rest, Rhaenyra? Do you?”

She said nothing, her gaze faltering for the first time.

“They took her dragon’s head,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less furious. “And her body? There was no sign of her body.” He paused, the words choking him. “Who knows what they did to her? What horrors she suffered before she…”

He trailed off, unable to finish.

Rhaenyra’s face paled, but she quickly masked it with resolve. “Daemon, we still have our sons. You have Viserys and Aegon—”

“It is not the same,” Daemon hissed, his voice laced with venom.

“Daemon—”

“It is not the same!” He roared, his voice echoing through the hall. “Our sons are alive, but she is gone. She was carrying our child, Rhaenyra. Our child! The first thing that was truly ours in this farce of a marriage. And now, there is nothing.”

Rhaenyra rose from the seat, her own anger boiling to the surface. “Do you think this is easy for me? She was my sister! Do you think I wanted this?”

Daemon’s eyes darkened, his jaw clenching. “You made a choice, Rhaenyra. You may not have wanted this, but you allowed it. You sent her to her death because you thought it was what the realm needed. And now she is gone, and I am left to wonder what I could have done to stop you.”

The tension in the room was suffocating, the weight of their shared grief and guilt pressing down on them both.

“You may wear the crown,” Daemon said bitterly, his voice quieter now but no less cutting. “But you do not understand what you have lost. She was more than your sister. She was my wife, the mother of my child. And you took that from me.”

Rhaenyra’s shoulders sagged, the strength she had tried to project crumbling under his words. “Daemon…”

He shook his head, stepping back. “No. I will not stay here and play the loyal prince when you cannot see the cost of your decisions.”

Without another word, Daemon turned and strode from the throne room, his cloak billowing behind him like the wings of a dragon. Rhaenyra called after him, her voice breaking, but he did not stop.

The wind was howling again as he stepped out into the courtyard, where Caraxes waited. The red dragon lowered his head, sensing his rider’s turmoil.

“Come,” Daemon said softly, climbing into the saddle. “Let us leave this cursed place.”

As they took to the skies, Daemon’s thoughts were consumed by one image: your smile, soft and hopeful, as you had spoken of the child you would never hold. He vowed that Aemond, Vhagar, and every Hightower who had played a part in your death would burn for what they had done.

[honeychamomile1]

Odd One Out

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summary: Reader feels invisible around the Pogues.

Warnings: Crying, feeling strongly excluded, comfort, mention of disease, etc.

Note: I know this wasn’t part of my “Future Stories” post, but it’s been a side story for too long so I decided to post it! Hope you like it!

Masterlist

“I’m tellin’ ya, pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza, that’s uh,” Pope chuckled at the silly conversation of debate whether the topping belongs on the delicious food or not before finishing his sentence, “the end of discussion. Debate closed.”

The whole room was still trying to wear off its laughter, a few people still going off in a fit before calming down again.

The girl was laughing too, just a lot softer and less full of….what’s the word….happiness.

Most of the time she didn’t know what the jokes were about, or the little references they would whisper to each other were on the topic of. It didn’t help the fact that she was sitting away from the majority of the group, the one sitter arm chair away from the couch they crowded.

She still remembers the encounter of them practically pushing her away from the group, forcing her to sit on the chair alone. She had walked in with them, all of them still laughing at some joke JJ said but of course she couldn’t get a word in on what he spoke at all, for she was always in the back of the group anyhow. The friends had walked in the house, one by one plopping on the couch or on the floor in front of it, so there wasn’t a single little space for her to squeeze in.

If she thought back deeper and shut her eyes, she could still feel the stare they laid upon her, waiting to see her point of action towards the matter. It was almost like they didn’t like her, like if she went near one of the particular that very person would be the unlucky girl or boy to have to deal with her for the rest of the hang out.

So yeah, her cheeks flushed deep red as she stumbled over crossed legs and ankles towards the back of the room, muttering soft pathetic apologies before sitting in the very chair she is sitting in now.

Now it wasn’t so bad, just that she was in the back, meaning all she could see were backs of heads and once in a while profiles. So the bit of participation she wished she had was no longer available, so now she was sitting in the chair, her legs crossed apple sauce style so they wouldn’t accidentally kick someone.

JJ was so close. So close that all she had to do in order to talk to him was tap him on the shoulder. He would turn around and talk to her and smile, giving her one of those blue eye sparkles. Maybe then she’d-

If she kept thinking like this she’d never be able to participate in the conversation. So she forced out a chuckle, trying to ease herself in.

Maybe she could squeeze her own voice in with all the others? If there’s room for them there has to be room for her too, right?

“One time I went to a pizza shop and-“

Her voice dyed out, the response being absolutely nothing. No eye contact, no expression change, not even a glance from anyone, almost like they didn’t even hear her.

She was speaking loud enough, the same volume of everyone else, but she also didn’t want to talk over the whole group just for a grab of attention.

So the conversation she wasn’t included in continued, someone else’s voice covering hers.

That someone else being Kiera, who of course everyone has to pay attention to. “Yeah, I agree, no more pineapple on pizza talk, maybe we should get actual pizza.” She suggested, and everyone loved the sound of that.

So did she, her stomach being the other thing she was thinking about besides the fact she wasn’t being included. She got up with the others, heading out the door behind JJ.

If she just tapped him on the shoulder-

He closed the door. Maybe he didn’t see her, since there was a corner to go around before exiting the house, but he didn’t forget about her, right?

She stared at the closed door, the past events causing small tears to arise in her eyes.

No.

She can’t cry just because someone closed the door in her face. It was such a small thing, a small action of a mistake he might’ve made. She almost expected him to come back, staring at the handle to see if it would twist, awaiting his face to pop in and apologize for the little thing he did.

But he never came.

She took a sharp breath in, reaching forward for the handle herself and leaving the house.

The group was outside piling into the Twinkie, talking about. She went to the side door too, hoping she could squeeze in somewhere.

But all the seats were full, and all the pitiful eyes were on her.

“Oh, there’s no room. Maybe you could drive in your car and meet us there?” Sarah suggested, and it was the first time that day they spoke directly to her. And it should’ve been something she enjoyed, like a little invitation to join the conversation or an offer to squeeze next to someone, them willing to be a little bit uncomfortable just so she could join.

But it was something she wished didn’t happen, because why did she even go to the side of the car in the first place? Did she really think there would be room for her?

“Or someone could squeeze over..?” Sarah trailed off, looking over at the rooms of people, and the girl couldn’t help but notice how John B moved closer to the edge with the window, covering a small space. Her heart broke.

“Or ya could sit on my lap, Princess.” She heard JJ chuckle, and she glanced at him, her broken little heart believing him for a second, her cheeks softly flushing, before realizing it was a joke. Some people laughed, Kie smacking JJ on the arm but there was a smirk on her lips.

The girl cleared her throat awkwardly, fiddling with her hands, all eyes still on her.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna go anymore, I’ll just go home…I’m not feeling so well.” She had to come up with some excuse, some ticket to get out of there, not like they would miss her at all.

She just walked away, heading to the sidewalk to walk home. Alone.

No one wished her well, despite her lie, but she still wished to at least get a “get well soon” or a “goodbye”.

Nothing. Just pity looks as she walked away, not long before chatter filled the car once more and they drove off.

She didn’t feel like eating anymore, despite her stomach yelling at her because she missed the only chance to eat; they would probably make her pay for her own meal anyway.

So she headed home, arms crossed as tears finally made their way down her cheeks. It hurt, the concept of not being included. She was the nickel out of all the pennies. They were all tan skin and smiles, considering themselves lucky because they found each other, very similar to being lucky when you find a penny. But she was all silver and plain, having a different engraving on her and being a different size than everyone else; they were all small and sweet, yet she was the biggest fool out of all of them.

She hated being a nickel. What did she have to do to be a penny?

She didn’t know, and that right there made her cry harder. She wiped at the tears but nothing worked, for whole rivers were already down her face by now. Her heart cracked, she felt it, because she knew if John B moved over just a little there would be enough room for her to sit with them.

But he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to sit next to her, like she was some sort of disgusting disease that he didn’t want to catch.

All she wanted was to be included, to feel loved and fit in by them. But she’ll always be the odd one out.

She fell asleep crying, and woke up hungry since she skipped dinner the day before.

She got out of bed, seeing her red-eyed self in the mirror while brushing her teeth.

She decided to go out today, to JJ’s house.

Now, it didn’t seem like a good decision, but she needed comfort and he was the only person she knew that would provide it. Maybe she would tell him how she’s feeling, not the crying all the way home part, and he would assure her he likes her in the group.

At least that’s what her brain told her he’d say.

Because her mother wouldn’t understand, plus she had other things to deal with, and she didn’t want to bother her father with all the work loads he had on his mind.

But JJ, he was the shiniest penny of all of them, and he seems like the only person to trust. Sadly she didn’t forget about the joke he made the day prior, suggesting she sat on his lap, but it was a one time thing and he could’ve been peer pressured to make it.

That’s what her brain kept telling her.

But the morning was sunny and warm, practically begging for her to enjoy it so she couldn’t refuse.

She put on some Jean shorts and a sun shirt, putting some knitted bracelets on her wrist because she saw everyone else wearing one; plus they were fun to make.

She had made one for JJ, his two favorite colors she overheard him reveal tied into the bracelet. She was gonna bring it to his house, maybe have the courage to give it to him.

She got to his house on foot, spotting his blob of blonde hair behind his car hood, where it normally was.

She shyly made her way over, gazing at his car to pass time. She liked how rusty it was, showing its age but it was still quite clean, like it was his prize possession. (It probably was)

“She looks good, doesn’t she?”

She flinched, looking over at him and making eye contact. His blues were something she admired, but looking directly into them overwhelmed her so she looked away. He chuckled.

One of the main reasons why she went to him was because JJ was the type of person who could talk to anybody. He knew the words to say or the way to talk to make the person comfortable (friend wise that is.)

She hoped he would do just that while he talks to her, and so far so good.

She nodded in response, hands in her back pockets of her shorts and fiddling with the bracelet she made him.

“Yeah, looks great.” She assured, despite the fact that she knew he already knew that, but then again it was all worth the smirk he gave in response, leaning back into the hood.

“What’s wrong with it?” She had the courage to ask, hands out of her pockets now and fingers fiddling together.

He shook his head. “Absolutely nothin’, just had to replace the engine.”

She smiled softly at that, glad that there wasn’t anything severely wrong with his car. “That’s good.”

He nodded, clearly half listening but she knew it was only because he was so focused on the task at hand.

They fell into silence for a little bit, and she was kinda glad he didn’t ask why she was there, mainly because she needed time to build up the courage to start the topic.

“Hey, JJ?” She blurted out, forcing her lips to move. Her heart started beating quite quickly. He looked up at her briefly at the acknowledgment before glancing back down, letting her know he was listening.

“Mm?” He hummed.

“Um,” she started, fiddling with her hands harder than before and trying to ignore the surprisingly annoying racing of her heart. “I noticed yesterday-“

“You noticed the toilet paper I put on John B’s shoe? You didn’t tell him, did you?” He interrupted, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her. She’s always wanted an eye sparkle from him, that meant the topic was mischievous and exciting for him.

But now wasn’t the time, for she needed to get to the point before her courage wore off. “Well, no, I didn’t tell him, but-“

He let out a sigh of relief. “Good, I wanted it to be there when we went to get pizza, which…”

He slowly trailed off, realizing she wasn’t there when they went out.

She swallowed nervously, feeling her cheeks flush. “Yeah, whatever, anyway, I really need to talk to you about something.”

She was satisfied that she could get that sentence out, for the courage in her chest hasn’t left yet.

His face drew back, twisting with confusion but he looked okay with it. “Okay, what’s up, sugar?” He said casually, leaning back down and popping the old engine out, lifting it before placing on the ground.

Her cheeks flushed red at the nickname, but brushed it off so she could stay on task. She kept telling herself that talking to him would help, so she really wanted to get her point across.

“Um, well, I’m feeling a bit, I don’t know, like I don’t…belong.”

The word: belong. It was something she always wanted to do, something she would die just for a taste of being it. It was something she so wanted to be that she held the word close to her heart, holding onto it tightly so it wouldn’t leave her. It was slowly fighting back against her grip ever since she met the group, yet she wanted friends so badly she kept trying.

She stared at JJ to see his reaction, watching as he lifted the new engine towards the car hood. He must have felt her stare because why else would he look up, eyes looking as clueless as ever.

“Did you say something?” He said, scratching his head, closing the hood.

“What?” She pathetically whispered, tears welling up but she blinked them away. She cleared her throat. “N-no, I didn’t say anything. I was gonna say I made this for you.”

Her voice was soft and helpless, setting the bracelet on the now closed hood of the car after taking it out of her pocket. He stared at it, eyes softening slightly before looking up, meeting her glossy eyes.

“I-I hope you like it,” She said, voice thick and her lips were quivering, tears so close to bursting themselves out.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” He said, stepping around his car and reaching for her, but she snatched her wrist out of his reach.

“You weren’t listening to me!” She sputtered. “Just like everyone else.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could get out because he was in shock at her outburst. Normally she is the quiet cute girl in the corner, now her eyebrows were furrowed in anger and her cheeks were red. Smoke was practically coming out of her ears.

“Sorry?” She quoted. “I have been feeling like this for weeks, and I finally had the courage to talk to someone, that someone being you of all people because I had a speck of hope that you would listen but when I do you can’t do that just this once?!”

“Feeling like what?” He said- almost demanded- his eyebrows furrowing. She threw her arms in the air in asasperation at his response, like out of the whole outburst she expressed the only thing he heard was that little part. “Does it even matter?” She almost yelled. “You had one chance to listen and you didn’t take it. If you cared you would’ve listened.”

“I do care, sugar,” he desperately assured. “I didn’t know you needed my full attention. I should’ve listened, and I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore, forget about it, JJ,” she said, wiping her cheeks before turning away.

“No no talk to me, princess. I’m listening I promise,” he whispered, dirty fingers curved around her wrist.

She turned to him, desire for someone to listen to her was strong.

Once he knew she wasn’t gonna leave, he let go of her wrist, the warmth from his touch leaving her. She fiddled with her fingers, looking into his eyes that seemed so sincere.“You promise?”

He nodded almost instantly. “I promise.”

He even held out his pinkie to her, making her laugh but seal the promise nonetheless.

The rest of the morning they sat and talked, JJ’s smile as big as ever and the threads tied around his wrist.

She laughed.

Laughed.

And she actually got to hear his jokes for once. The ones she missed, misheard, and never repeated for her.

And those sounds were as genuine as they could get, her heart singing as he gave her a real eye twinkle.

It was at that moment her heart fell, fell hard for the boy next to her.

And at their next hangout she didn’t have to sit on the chair alone like she normally does, for now she got to see on Maybank’s lap (as offered) as she laughed with the group and got to have her say.

She felt loved. Felt like she was included.

And, most important of all, she felt belonged.

-Tell me what you think? 🫶🏻

[reagi-df]

Prodigy

Usagi watches as master eyes him and he has to grit his teeth as he hold himself back. He hates this dead eyed look with a passion, those soulless eyes that see right through him always haunt his dreams.

“Come” master beckons and is turning without waiting for a reply. Like someone waiting for there obedient pet to come trotting along.

And that’s what he does. He pushes the anger down and follows.

Runt can’t say he’s not 100% familiar with the Baron. He’s never been one of the fully fledged assassins to have had the pleasure. But he knows his reputation, knows how much he frustrates the heads. He’s also heard Fox complain about him. And she’s pretty hard to annoy.

That dosent stop the feeling like he’s seen him before though. That if he focuses hard enough he might remember er. If he-

F̴͇̻̝͌͊̀ö̵̠͉́̔̐͜c̵̪̪͓̓̓͊u̴̢͉̞̓̕͝s̴̻͓͚̀͛̕

He starts to swim up, the water cool on his skin and there’s a childish voice inside of his head that loves the water, love how freeing it makes him.

Runt feels like he’s heading towards a session. It’s not just his mind that’s making it hard to concentrate, but his body feels off. Feels like there’s a coil inside of him growing tighter and tighter, threading to snap and explode.

He hope he dosent have one, sessions always him feel worse. Not that he remembers what happens but he’s always struggling to get back to the room.

F̴͇̻̝͌͊̀ö̵̠͉́̔̐͜c̵̪̪͓̓̓͊u̴̢͉̞̓̕͝s̴̻͓͚̀͛̕

Runt breaks the surface of the water.

Part 1

Sep!Leo au where he was raised by the council of heads and becomes one of their assassins, and his new mission is to bring his brothers to the heads. However it’s not as easy as he thought it’d be, especially since the orange one says he knows him, and wants him to be his “brother”

@kinky-asexual its actually getting started properly 🤣

I’m trying smth new… don’t know how well it’ll end. My arts pretty inconsistent as you’ll see later xD, plus a lot of theses drawing have big gaps between each of them as to when I drew them. I did redraw some of the rise two chapters m. Please excuse bad spelling/grammar mistakes

[msschemmenti]

fun police - 4

bau x reader / eventual emily prentiss x reader

“What is this place?” Emily asked, walking across the parking lot toward the younger woman. She’d received an email the night before with a location, a time, and a rather direct order to be there or ‘be square’ that she really had no choice but to chuckle at.

“Good morning to you too. It’s like you’re allergic to those words. Haven’t you ever had a good morning?” Y/n asked with a teasing grin. When Emily was close enough for her to see her scowl, she answered. “Oh alright, grumpy. This is the Mental Health Oasis. A twenty-four-hour wellness center.” 

“So a gym?” Emily summarized, with a smirk– aiming to ruffle the younger woman’s feathers. 

But as if reading Emily’s mind, Y/n just smiled and moved toward the door. “No, it’s a wellness center– like I just said. Now come on, we’ve got an appointment with Marta and she hates tardiness.” As the younger woman held the door open and urged Emily forward, the older woman finally relented and stepped into a space that was definitely more than a gym. Her eyes glazed over at the all-white interior and cushy receptionist area that met her. She turned to grumble some sort of statement to Y/n but was interrupted by a girly squeal behind the reception desk. 

“I totally thought Marta was lying this morning!” The young woman grinned as she made her way around the desk to pull Y/n into a bone-crushing hug. 

“I hoped you’d be working during my visit.” Y/n smiled before pulling away from the woman and turning her attention to Emily, who was perplexed. “I’ve got a challenging client and figured I’d bring her to the Mecca of Relaxation.” 

Emily scoffed, “I am not difficult!” The indignation was clear and Y/n and her mystery friend’s laughter only made Emily frown deeper. 

“Oh look at that frown, I bet she’s got so much tension behind her eyes.” The receptionist observed, stepping into Emily’s personal space to scrutinize her face. She brought her finger up to poke at Emily’s forehead and just as Emily was considering biting her finger, Y/n grabbed her wrist with a knowing smile. 

“Nina honey, remember our personal space conversation last time I was here?” Nina nodded with a grimace and took a step back sheepishly. Y/n smiled and nodded encouragingly, “Is Marta ready for us?” 

At the mention of the other woman’s name, Nina nodded and ran behind the desk to page the woman over the intercom. Once satisfied that the woman was coming, she turned her attention back to Y/n and Emily. “I wish you’d come by more often, it’s not the same without you here.” 

Y/n smiled and leaned over the desk, “I’ll try to stop in more often, but from what I’ve heard, everything has been running smoothly since I left.” Nina made to disagree but Y/n stopped her as she caught sight of Marta. With a promise to catch up later, Y/n grabbed Emily’s wrist and all but dragged her over to the open door being held open. “Thanks for fitting us in Marta.” 

“Anything for you, Y/n.”

They all stopped at a hallway and Marta finally turned her attention to Emily with a smile. “Hi, I’m Marta. And welcome to the Wellness Oasis. A sure-fire way to ensure even the most stressed individual discovers their inner calm. ” 

-

Emily couldn’t think of a time when she’d felt more comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time in her life. Hidden beneath a sheet, both she and Y/n were being rolled out like freshly formed dough. A mid-day massage, that she could get behind. The uncomfortable part was all in her head. As soon as they’d stepped into the dim candle-lit room, all she could think about is how her wellness agent was naked under that sheet and so was she. And had they been alone, she’s not too sure what she would’ve done. 

“Agent Prentiss, you carry so much tension in your neck.” The masseuse chided, as she added more pressure. They’d been doing that the entire time, interrupting her extremely unprofessional train of thought with a morsel of information. Sleeping positions, morning stretches, and all that stuff. But as soon as she mumbled out something close to acknowledgment, her brain was back to working overtime creating images and scenarios of how this could end. 

Lost in her thoughts, she seemed to miss the movement in the room altogether. But the new hands on her back brought her back to reality instantly. Emily cleared her throat roughly and tried to force her body relax as she caught the marruesus’ shoes leaving the room. 

“I hope you don’t mind, I just couldn’t resist putting my hands to good use.” Y/n spoke quietly as she slowly worked Emily’s shoulders. 

Emily fought tooth and nail trying to suppress a moan, “Do you even know what you’re doing?” She stuttered, grappling for a playful nonchalance.

Y/n rolled her eyes, pressing a bit firmer into Emily’s back and when she felt the older woman wince she answered. “Yes, I’m a licensed massage therapist. I also used to run this place.” 

“Oh?” Emily moaned out giving into the pleasure a bit too freely. 

“Yep, only started doing private sector work this year. Bureau scooped me up rather quickly. And now that I’ve gotten my hands on your back– I’m starting to realize why.”

“I’d pretend to be offended if you weren’t so good at this.” Emily groaned, rolling her neck to the side in content. 

“Gosh, if I knew this was all I had to do to get you to be more agreeable, I would’ve done two sessions ago.”

Emily didn’t say anything but she surely wished Y/n had started with this too. 

-

“So how do you feel?” Y/n asked as they both returned to the front of the building in their clothes again. 

Despite Emily’s dirty mind, she had to admit she felt much looser than she had when she walked into this session. “I’ve always been partial to a good rub down.” 

Y/n shook her head in exasperation, “Is there like a rolodex of innuendo up there?” Y/n asked prodding softly at her forehead. “Do you feel more relaxed? Feel like massages might be a beneficial wellness practice to incorporate into your life?”

Emily swatted the offending finger away softly before shrugging, “Sure, why not? If not for relaxation– for enjoyment.” 

“God, you’re ridiculous. I’ll see you next week. Your office, our usual time.” Y/n sighed. 

“Yes ma’am.” Emily saluted and headed for her car.

[nadvs]

　　　⊹　❀　︵　∘　 destined ⟢

pairing singledad! zach maclaren x nanny! female reader

summary after you find out you’re pregnant, you tell zach and prepare to share the news together.

this is a continuation blurb of this two-shot! requested by anon.

You impatiently check the time on your phone again. It’s been fourteen minutes since you sat down in the private room at the doctor’s office.

Your eyes travel over the lockscreen photo from your wedding half a year ago. In the captured moment, Zach is holding Ella. Her left arm is around her father’s shoulders and her right is around yours.

Her poofy dress is sparkling under the warm banquet hall lights, her smile just as big as yours and Zach’s.

You’d done a lot of happy crying that day, but a moment after the photo was taken, you’d never had tears of joy quite like this.

Ella had run off after the shutter of the photographer’s camera and Zach pulled you in by the waist, his lips soft against your cheek, murmuring just loud enough to be heard over the music and people dancing around you, “You know what she asked me this morning?”

“What?”

“Since I get to call you my wife, if she can call you her mommy.”

You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, tearing up as he held you tighter. She had just turned seven years old and still didn’t talk about her biological mother all that much. She also hadn’t called you anything other than your name.

Zach had told you he’d be comfortable with it if Ella grew to want to call you her mom. You’d told him you’d be, too, but that you hoped she didn’t think you were ever trying to replace anyone.

“Really?” you said, your hand over your heart. “What’d you say?”

“I said she can,” he replied. You pulled back to meet his eyes, beaming up at him, almost in disbelief that three years ago, you’d knocked on his door for the first time. You could have never known the turn your life would take.

“You love her like she’s yours,” he said, his eyes glossy, “and she loves you the same way. I’m so happy she has you.”

You squeezed his hand. He’d already reassured you many times that you weren’t taking the place of Ella’s mother or being a substitution for what she lost. Instead, you’re an addition to their lives.

“I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he said. The tears he was trying to hold back fell from his eyes and he chuckled defeatedly. “Who’s cried more today, do you think?”

“I’d say it’s even,” you said with a laugh.

The door opening pulls you out of the memory. You meet the doctor’s eyes, your heart thrumming.

You and Zach had been trying for a baby for four months now. You didn’t even have to ask Ella what she thought about gaining a sibling. She’d been asking for one for a long time now.

After a string of failed attempts, you prefer not to tell Zach every time you take a test. You can see the disappointment in his eyes, no matter how hard he tries to hide it behind a gentle, “The baby just wants to make us wait.”

A couple of nights ago, when the home test you secretly took showed two lines, you booked a blood test to be sure. The doctor starts her sentence with Congratulations and you exhale a shaky breath of relief.

────୨ৎ────

Later that day, you’re folding laundry in the living room while Ella’s at school. Zach gets home from an early practice and beams when he sees you, dropping his bag on the floor.

“Hi, baby,” he says. “How are you?”

“Good. How was training?”

“I’m getting old,” he chuckles, stretching his arms over his head. You laugh.

Zach had already decided that after eight years, this is his last season professionally playing. He was offered a position on the coaching team after he told his managers he’d be resigning. He’s ready to slow down, to work a job that doesn’t have such a high risk of injury, to have more time for his family.

He sits next to you, takes the t-shirt out of your hands, folds it and then puts it on the stack on the table so that you’re free to hug him. You giggle as he leans forward and pushes you back against the couch. He’s hovering over you, his cheek pressed on yours as he hugs you, smelling like his body wash.

Zach lives for these simple moments. Getting home to you, holding you, grounding himself and reminding himself that this is what life is about.

“Hey, how’s your day look six Mondays from now?” you ask.

“That’s specific,” he laughs. “I’ll have to check. Why?”

“I’d prefer it if you came to the ultrasound with me.”

He pulls back, searching your face in awe.

“What?” he whispers. “Are you… What?”

“I am,” you laugh, tears building in your eyes, stroking his soft hair.

“When did you…?”

“This morning,” you say. “I didn’t want to tell you in case it came back negative.”

“I’m…” Zach doesn’t have words. He leans forward, gently pressing his lips against yours, shuffling quickly so he doesn’t put any weight on you.

“It’s okay,” you laugh. “You won’t break us.”

“Us,” he repeats happily, his voice cracking. He looks down at your stomach, gently putting his hand on you. “It’s okay that you made us wait,” he whispers to the baby. “I already know you were worth it. Are you being gentle with your mom?”

He looks up at you, a flash of concern washing over his awestruck face.

“I’m a little more tired than usual,” you say. “But nothing crazy yet.”

“I can’t believe it,” Zach sighs. He sniffles, his heart racing with happiness as his eyes fill with tears. “I can’t believe it.”

“I know,” you breathe. “Me, neither. We can give her the book soon.”

Zach smiles. He’d bought a children’s book a few months back about becoming a big sister for when it was time to tell Ella a baby was on the way.

Having known you for nearly four years now, he was already well aware of how pure your heart is. But the fact that your first thought is to tell Ella is yet another reminder of how you’ve always seen yourself as not only sharing your life with him, but with her, too.

“Gonna be hard not to do it right away,” he says.

“Do you have any idea how hard these last three hours have been?” you laugh. “I couldn’t wait to tell you. But we’ll share the news with her after the first trimester. To be safe.”

“Of course,” he agrees, cupping your face and pulling you in for another tender kiss.

────୨ৎ────

By the three month mark, your appetite has grown and fatigue has hit you hard. When the day comes to tell Ella, you’re bursting with excitement to tell her the news.

After dinner, you sit on the couch, already used to Zach quietly telling you to sit down and not do any housework.

Ella’s doing homework at the coffee table as you help. You gaze at her as she concentrates on her writing and remember the four-year-old she was when you first walked into this house.

She’s nearly eight now and still has so many of the qualities you’d first noticed about her. She’s energetic and loves conversation and never hesitates to show affection.

Zach comes in from cleaning up after dinner and raises his eyebrows at you, discreetly holding the book. You nod to confirm you’re ready, nervous.

He sits next to you, taking one last moment to look at you and at his daughter, accepting that this is the last moment the three of you will have like this. His family is growing now, and it feels like his heart is, too.

“Is it two R’s? Or one?” Ella mumbles, the pencil in her hand. She looks up when you don’t answer, too busy trying not to cry as you watch her. “Are you okay, mommy?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’m okay. Can you sit with us for a moment?”

Ella nods, running towards you. Zach stops her in his arms before she lands too close to you. You laugh, having already told him privately that she’s never rough enough to hurt the baby, but he can’t be too careful.

“I have a book for you,” Zach says, kissing Ella on the temple as she sits between you. “Can you tell me what you think?”

He hands her the purple hardcover.

“What’s it called?” you ask.

“Big Sisters Are The Best,” she reads. She curiously opens the page, gazing over the illustrations of a little girl with a baby.

“Thank you,” she says politely. “I’ll tell my friend Kaley about this book. Maybe she can borrow it. She’s a big sister.”

You chuckle, meeting Zach’s eyes. He rubs Ella’s back and tells her, “You’re going to be a big sister, too, honey.”

Ella’s gaze darts up to him, then to you, then back again.

“Really?” she says. Zach’s face brightens with endearment, eyes growing shiny with tears.

“Really?” she repeats, looking at you.

“Really,” you say, putting a hand over your stomach. “That’s why I keep going back for seconds at dinner lately. There’s a baby in here making me extra hungry.”

Ella stands up, unable to contain her happiness, jumping up and down in her spot a few times before wrapping you into a hug. You laugh as she wiggles in your arms.

Zach wipes his eyes, still unsure of what he did to deserve this sort of happiness. It’s like he’s in another world, experiencing a type of joy reserved specifically for him.

“This is the best day ever,” she says. “And you’re the best mommy ever and daddy’s the best daddy ever.”

“He is,” you agree, looking at him with pure love.

────୨ৎ────

“You’re such a girl dad,” you say amusedly when you go into Ella’s bedroom.

Zach’s sitting on the floor as Ella adds what looks like the twentieth clip in his hair, while he holds Olivia, who’s happily ripping up a piece of paper.

He smiles at you gratefully. Your one-year-old is exactly how Ella was at that age. Curious, smiley, and eager to make messes wherever she can. He knows you’re technically a blended family, but it has never felt like that.

“Ella, can you do mine next?” you ask.

“After Olivia,” she says happily. “I told her she’s next and I have to keep my promise.”

“Of course,” you say. “She’s lucky to have such a nice big sister.”

“Ebba,” Olivia babbles.

“Ella,” Ella corrects. You laugh. It feels like yesterday, you’d just met her and Zach, and he was correcting her on how she’d called him the bestest. Now, she’s growing before your eyes, already so mature and well-mannered.

“But Ebba’s okay,” Ella says with a smile. She leans to give her little sister a kiss on the forehead, earning a giggle from her, clapping for more.

You sit on the floor next to Zach, squeezing his knee lovingly as your daughters laugh together. He takes your hand and brings it up to kiss the back of it.

“And to think,” you joke, “we wouldn’t be here if I bombed my interview.”

Zach laughs, shaking his head as he kisses your hand again.

“No,” he says. “This is how life was meant to be. You would have found us, no matter what. I know it.”

You grin at him, nodding in agreement.

Sitting here with his wife and daughters is the definition of destiny. Zach knows deep in his soul that he was always fated to be right here, with his heart split between three beautiful girls.

(the end)

if you enjoy a fic, reblogging is the best way to thank and support the writer!

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Doctor, Doctor

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

Summary: The tide is pulling you in and you are getting to weak to stop it.

Warnings: bad mental health, implied suicidal thoughts, implied past abuse, therapy, Sam is a good guy, non-sexual nudity.

Relationships: Carol x Reader, Yelena x Natasha x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 3.6k

The pacing was the only thing keeping you grounded. So you paced: 5 steps in one direction, then five steps in the other. Everything around you turned to white noise. Not that there were many people in the Avenger’s compound. The world seemed to be holding on by a thread as fires spread across the globe. The only people that could put out those fires were the Avengers. The team was spread worldwide, and since you weren’t part of the team, you couldn’t know the specifics. You had half the mind to hack into FRIDAY to get updated everyone. With the stress of not knowing how the team was doing, combined with the sleepless nights due to nightmares, you were on edge.

It seemed your mind and body had enough. You were at your wit’s end. Each night, your mind creates horrific scenarios of those you love. Your hands were covered with so much blood. Your mind was having a hard time separating your nightmare and reality.

Usually, you would ignore it, push through, and hope your mind would figure itself out. That was past you, and you were trying to be better. You wanted to enjoy the life you were living with the people in it, but you weren’t sure if you could do it on your own.

But admitting you needed help was a weakness, and a weakness meant death. Honestly, you were proud of yourself. The person you were now was leaps and bounds from who you were in the Red Room. Still, these habits were hard to break. His voice was still engraved in your head. “Hey,” you jumped at the sudden voice and the hand on your shoulder. You put your hands up, ready to fight. “Sorry,” it was Sam. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You seemed lost in your own head.”

“Yeah,” you put your hands down. “Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping well.” His eyes scanned you over.

“Do you want to get out of the compound?”

“Please,” you said. If you weren’t so desperate for a distraction, you would have hated how weak you sounded. Sam smiled, and you followed him to the garage. The silence was comforting. Sam was special. His presence was calming, like a lifeboat in a raging storm at sea.

As he drove away from the compound past the small nearby town, he turned down a nonpaved road. You raised a questioning eyebrow. “Are you taking me out here to kill me?” The man rolled his eyes.

“Please, like I could kill you,” he teased, sparing you a glance before focusing back on the road. “And if I managed to kill you. Natasha, Yelena, Alexei, Carol, and Melina would be on my ass. Nooo, thank you,” he paused. “I would never know peace.” You rolled your eyes.

Finally, he parked in a small lot. There was only one other car. You followed him out of the car and took a deep breath in. The air was crisp. It felt cleaner somehow. “Ready for a hike?”

“Are you going to be able to keep up?” The man glared at you.

“I don’t know why I try to be nice to you, Black Widows.” You chuckled.

“Come on, Sam,” you smiled. “I’m following your lead.” You followed him to the start of the trail. He filled the silence with stories from his childhood and his family in New Orleans. But most of the walk was spent in silence besides the crunch of the leaves and sticks at your feet. With each step you took, the weight on your shoulder seemed to disappear.

You smiled at the couple who walked past you on their way to the car. Soon enough, you reached the end of the trail and at the top of the mountain. The scenery around you felt otherworldly. The air was crisp and cool. In one direction, you could see the other mountains part of the range surrounded by green trees.

It was mid-afternoon, and the sky was a vast and brilliant blue. Birds were flying at your level. There was a beauty at the top that you forgot existed in this world. “So,” you looked at Sam. “Wanna talk about why you were pacing a hole in the ground?” You smiled and sat down on a rock.

“I don’t know, Sam,” you said. Some days, I feel like I have it together, like there isn’t this crushing weight, but recently, I feel like I can barely hold my head above the water. " You picked up a stone and threw it up and down. The tide keeps trying to drag me under, and I’m afraid. " You let the stone drop back to the ground. I might stop fighting so it can take me out to sea.”

There were so many dark thoughts that echoed inside your mind. On certain days, listening to those thoughts seemed easier than fighting them. “And I know,” you continued before Sam could speak. “That I have so many people on my side that support me and count on me, but I am so fucking tired,” you squeezed your eyes shut. “I just want it all to stop.” You admitted. “I mean, the world will keep spinning, right? Even if I’m no longer in it.”

You heard the man let out a low hiss. You weren’t suicidal, but it seemed easier. “Ours would stop,” Sam finally said. “Our world would stop spinning.” You reopened your eyes to see Sam walking towards the edge. “Have you ever been sky diving?” He looked over his shoulder as you shook your head. “I should take you,” he looked back at the view. “It is the most freeing and adrenaline-pumping thing a person could do. I love it.”

You stood up slowly and walked to stand next to the man. “I’ve been on a roller coaster, does that count?” He slapped you playfully. “Why did you ask me that?”

“In sky diving or even for us Fly Boys on the team, you have to have complete trust in the people that you don’t necessarily see,” you frowned, a little confused. You have to trust the pilot, trust the instructor leading the pilot, and trust the people who packed your gear that they did it correctly. Blind trust is terrifying,” he said and touched your shoulder.

Trust. So much of your trust has been broken. “Do you trust me?” He asked.

“Yes,” you answered. The man smiled.

“Then trust me when I say this,” he took a few deep breaths. “I think you need to see a therapist, and I can find you a good one.”

“No,” you pushed his hand off your shoulder and headed back down the trail.

“Wait, ugh, hold on,” you heard him quicken his pace to catch up to you. “Look, I can’t imagine what that sick bastard put you and your sisters through, but I’ve lost someone because they couldn’t fight the tide. I will not stand by and watch it happen to you,” His confession stopped you and turned around to face him. “An old service buddy of mine,” he answered the question before you asked. “The weight of what happened over there got too much, and he let himself drown.” He took a few steps closer to you. “My mama said every soul that touches us leaves a mark - some as gentle whispers or bold strokes - but their imprints remain even when they’re gone. You’ve shaped our lives by being in it, and there is no going back.” You felt your chest tighten. Sighing, you placed your hands on your hips and looked at the ground.

“I trust you to find me a good one, Samuel,” the man laughed and put his arm around your shoulder.

“If I find you a good one, can I push you out of a plane?”

*

It was to disguise your trip to the city to check on a few Widows who had recently been exposed to the red dust. You felt bad about telling a white lie, so you visited a few of them; one was going to school, and another was starting a business. It made you happy that they were getting out of this life.

Now, you were sitting in Dr. Sabrina Hale’s lobby. Your leg was shaking, and you were gripping your jeans. You felt like you were going to be sick. Anxiety swirled in your stomach. Like Sam, you needed to believe in the blind trust of this stranger. “Hi,” you looked at the doctor. The woman was pite - her black hair was cut shoulder length, and her blue eyes seemed to have a caring presence. “My name is Sabrina. It is nice to meet a friend of Sam’s.” You introduced yourself and shook her hand. “Please come in.” You followed her into the office.

Her office was much bigger than you expected. It had a large window overlooking the city, and her wooden desk was in front of it. Next to it was a couch with a chair. In the corner, there was a small table with chairs covered with coloring pages and art supplies. The most striking detail about her office was how decorated it was. There were plants in every corner and pictures on the wall documenting her travels and her family.

“Sit where you are comfortable,” you sat on the couch. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No, thank you,” she grabbed a travel mug from her desk and sat in the chair beside you.

“I will start off this session by saying that everything you say here is protected by doctor-patient confidentiality,” she said, crossing her left leg over her right.

“And if I don’t say anything?” Sabrina shrugged.

“Then we stare at each other for an hour in silence. Regardless, I still get paid,” you let out a dry laugh and stared out her window. “Sam told me you work with the Avengers, so I can guess whatever is haunting you isn’t pretty,” you scuffed, folded your hands, and rested your forearms on your thighs. “I tell my patients that you get out of therapy based on what you put into it. You need to want to be here. You want to get better.” Sighing, you stared at her.

She had a small smile on her face. Her eyes were so kind; they seemed to stare into your soul. “Do have any siblings? I have an older brother and a younger sister.” She was the middle child, and that made sense. Middle children were known to struggle with a sense of identity. Every piece of decoration showed you a piece of who Sabrina is. They also were known to rebel - her nose ring and sleeve of tattoos gave her away. But you snapped out of that. Sabrina was here to help you. She was not your target.

“Yeah, I have two younger sisters,” you smiled. “We aren’t related by blood.”

“Family is family,” she said. “Blood doesn’t matter.” You nodded and felt better that she had the same viewpoint as you. “Who annoys you the most?”

“Excuse me?” You were shocked by the question. Sabrina laughed.

“Come on. You are the older sister; your younger siblings must annoy you.” You chuckled and leaned back on the couch. She was right. It got on your nerves when Natasha left her pointee shoes lying around. Yelena had the annoying habit of putting her dirty laundry with yours so you would do it. You smiled again.

“They both do things that get on my nerves, but I love them.”

“I love mine too,” she said. “We got these tattoos together.” She turned her arm over to show you the artwork forever marked on her skin. It was like the work of three birds on a branch.

“Did it hurt?” You questioned. “The sleeve, I mean.” She watched as you looked over your sleeve.

“The first one did,” she answered. “After so many, you get numb to the pain.” Her blue eyes were watching you closely. Missing how your body tensed at the comment was not hard for her. “Are you numb to it all? After everything you’ve been through.”

You were unsure how to answer because you weren’t numb. You felt everything. Every hand that hurt you. Every bullet and knife slash that pierced your skin. That was why you wanted it all to stop. You shook your head. “I feel it all,” you whispered. “I wish I was numb to it all.”

“It’s good that you are feeling,” she told you. It means you can still be pulled back. You can be saved. The question is,” You watched her stand up and walk over to the mini-fridge. She grabbed out a small water bottle and walked back to you. “Do you want to be saved?” she asked while handing you the bottle.

She was extending an olive branch, waiting for you to take the first step—blind trust. Like sky diving, you needed to trust that everyone did their job to ensure you would survive. You wanted to be saved because there was so much life you wanted to see. You took the water bottle. Sabrina smiled and sat back down. “Good, the ball is in your court,” she said. “Lead me in whatever direction you want.”

*

“I’m going for a run,” you said while you entered the common area. Yelena watched you grab water from the fridge. “I’ll be back.”

“Do you want a running partner?” Natasha asked, but you quickly shook your head.

“It will be quick,” you smiled. “Figure out what you guys want to do for dinner.” You called out before putting on your headphones and left out the side door. Yelena frowned as you left. Twice a week, you leave the compound and go on a run. You went alone every time, no matter who asked you to join. Natasha walked over to the window, and Yelena got up from the couch to join her.

“She’s hiding something,” Natasha said. Yelena nodded in agreement.

“Do you think she’s cheating on Carol?”

“God no,” Natasha shot that idea down. “I just wish she trusted enough not to have to hide.” There was no way to hide the hurt in Natasha’s voice.

“She’ll come around,” Yelena smiled. “She always does.”

*

“Still hiding away, I see,” you rolled your eyes. You were video chatting with Sabrina for your weekly season. Your back rested on the tree trunk while you sat on the forest floor. There was a thin layer of sweat on your forehead from your run. “Why don’t you trust them with this?”

“I do trust them,” you defended. “I just-” you trailed off. It was one of the annoying things about Sabrina. She was patient - too patient for your fucked up mind. “I don’t want to seem weak.”

“Admitting you need someone to help you through your mind does not make you weak,” she told you. “I think it makes a person very strong.” You sighed and looked past your phone to the wilderness around you. “Trust is a thread that holds relationships together,” you looked back at Sabrina. The doctor was drawing in her sketchbook. It was something she always did during your sessions. You never asked what she was drawing, and she never showed it to you. She put the sketchbook down when she saw that you were looking at her. “When it frays, even those who care the most are left powerless to help. Doubting those who care for you builds walls, not of protection, and in the end, loneliness becomes your only certainty.”

“What are you getting at Hall?” You asked. The doctor was spinning a pencil in her hand.

“You are at a standstill,” she said. “You will not continue to heal unless you trust them with this side of you. But also trust yourself.”

“I do trust myself,” she looked at you like she did not believe you. The only way to survive in this world was to trust yourself.

“To an extent, yes, you had to trust yourself because who else would you trust? But I want you to trust yourself to be vulnerable and to feel weakness. You do not have to be the strong one all the time.”

*

Natasha’s door was open when you knocked on it. Yelena was on her bed while they were sharpening some of their knives. “Are you going to throw one of those at me?”

“Do you deserve to have a knife thrown at you?” Natasha questioned. You shrugged.

“Depends on who you ask,” you smiled and walked into her room. You found some space on her bed and sat down. Yelena handed you a knife and a sharpening tool.

The repetitive action of sharpening a blade was calming. It was nice to spend time with them. “Do you have something on your mind, sestra?” Yelena asked. You smiled and looked over the knife. Flipping it over, you stared at your reflection.

“Sam helped me find a therapist,” you decided to rip off the band-aid. “I’ve been seeing her for a few weeks now.”

“That’s great,” Yelena said. “I’m so proud of you.” You looked down, embarrassed by the praise.

“Why did you wait this long to tell us?” Natasha asked. You sighed and, when you were done, handed the knife to Yelena.

“Million-dollar question, right?” Natasha chuckled. “I guess I didn’t want to seem weak to you guys. Hell, not even Carol knows.” You picked up another knife to begin the process again. “I trust the two of you with my life,” you began. “But I’ve learned that I don’t trust myself to be vulnerable or weak. If I’m not the strong one, then what is my role? What is my purpose.” Natasha took your hand to stop you from sharpening the knife.

“You just have to be our sister,” she said. “That’s all we want.” You smiled.

“Sometimes I wish life was kinder to us,” you admitted. “We were far too young to be subjected to the darkness.”

“We got each other out of it,” Yelena smiled.

“The best thing to come out of the Red Room,” you joked.

*

You stayed awake until Carol returned from space. “Jesus,” she jumped when she opened the door to her room. “You scared the shit out of me.” You giggled and stood up from her bed.

“Sorry,” you smiled and closed the distance. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, consider me surprised,” she said, wrapping one arm around your waist while closing the door with the other. She pulled you flushed to her chest. “Hi baby,” you felt the words rumble from her chest. I missed you.”

“Missed you too,” you kissed her cheek. “How was space?”

“Good,” she sighed. “Tiring, but I kicked ass and looked good while doing it.” You shook your head with a laugh.

“You always look good,” she covered her mouth as she yawned. “Come on, my captain, let’s get you to bed.” Carol shook her head.

“Shower with me first, then bed,” she kissed you softly. “I promise to behave.”

That was hard to believe, but you followed her to the bathroom. This type of intimacy and trust was new to you. Showering with someone was never slow and sweet. It was usually against your will, dirty, and fast. Carol taught you differently.

You helped Carol out of her tactical suit and kissed the new bruises that decorated her skin. While the water was warming up, she helped you out of your sleeping clothes. You stood in front of her—naked like the day you were born. It took time for you to be like this with her. The dark thoughts that invaded your mind and the scars that covered your skin made you believe you were undeserving of this soft trust.

You helped Carol out of her tactical suit and kissed the new bruises that decorated her skin. While the water was warming up, she helped you out of your sleeping clothes. You stood in front of her - naked like the day you were born. It took time for you to be like this with her. The dark thoughts that invaded your mind and the scars that covered your skin made you believe you were undeserving of this soft trust.

“Krasivyy (beautiful),” Carol mumbled. The words she knew in Russian were few, but she knew the ones that made you smile.

“No funny business,” you warned, pulling the Avenger into the water. She insisted on washing your hair first. The way her fingers massaged into your scalp made your body feel boneless. Once your hair and body were clean, you returned to the favor.

Carol hummed. “You have magic fingers, baby girl.” You chuckled and kissed her shoulder.

Once the soap washed off Carol’s body, you turned off the water and dried yourself off. You took some of Carol’s clothes to change into and climbed into bed. Instantly, Carol pulled you into her arms. Like with your sisters, you decided to rip the band-aid off. “I’m seeing a therapist,” you said. Sam found me one based in the city.” She put her finger underneath your chin and forced you to look at her.

“Do you like her?” You nodded. You liked Sabrina. She was annoying and got underneath your skin, but she forced you to face the hard parts of your psyche. “Proud of you, baby,” she kissed your forehead and hugged you tighter. Her fingers ran through your hair, bringing you closer and closer to sleep.

Carol was proud of you, as were Natasha and Yelena. It felt good to hear. “I love you,” you mumbled against Carol’s chest. The tide was all-consuming. You felt breathless and weak, but you were working on fighting the waves. You were proud of yourself, too.

[eand47]

Chapter V | Siri

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC), (more to be add)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, use of nicotine/cigarettes, use of weed/joint, slight smut, sexual content , mentions of alcohol, mentions of narcolepsy, conflict feelings, MINORS INTERACT ON YOUR OWN RISK (18+)

Word Count: 15,6K

<- previous chapter

NOTE: This chapter was rewritten like ten times and still I feel like it could of been better. As you can see from the warnings, there is some smut in it, as I decided to test the waters with it (please read the note at the end, as I don’t want to spoil anything for you at the beginning). I hope that you will enjoy the chapter as I tried to make it serious but also fun and unbelievable in some moments as it is usually in real life. Also a BIG BIG THANK YOU to all of you who comment, reblog, like and follow me it means the world to me 🥹🫶 And thank you for the sweet messages when I shared with you that I haven’t been feeling good this past week, you all are amazing human beings <3333

“It’s great, I was sure you gonna nailed it.” Dave tilted his head looking at me with a big grin spread across his face. I finished editing the footage for the music video last night and called him to meet me today for a coffee. We were sitting on a table for two in my favourite coffee shop. I was nervously biting on my nails, my brows frown not fully satisfied or convinced that the video was good enough.

“You sure? I don’t think it’s there yet.” I breathed out, rubbing my temples as I’ve already had a headache. “And I must send it by tomorrow as I promised Marco, a-and I must work on my short-cut as we start filming next week, a-a-and I don’t have location, I-I have nothing.” I gibbered, clicking on the computer mouse, opening different programs, trying to find a way to make it better. It was not good enough and I didn’t have much time left to sent it. “Why, why, why did I agree to do this?” Stress was taking over me these past days; I thought that I could manage a lot of things at the same time not realising that I was not ready for this yet.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Dave gently grabbed my hand and put the mouse away. He gently stared to run circles on my back trying to calm me down. “The video is amazing; you can’t do it any better than it is already.” He looked me in the eyes, and I could see that he meant what he was saying. “Take some deep breaths.” His tone was gentle. He put his arm around my shoulder pushing me closer to him. “You did great. Hell, I should show you the first video that I did, so you can see what a bad music video looks like.” I giggled at his attempt to cheer me up. I took a deep breath and tilted my head up as I could feel some tears building up in my eyes, ready to fall. “Hey, no crying.” Dave gently whipped the tear that rolled from the corner of my eye.

“I’m sorry, I’m not a cry baby I promise.” I chuckled trying to hold back the tears.

“I know you aren’t. I think you stressed yourself way too much.” His thumb continued to gently crease my cheek. I looked at him and nodded, my lip trembling. “The video is perfect, now save the files and just relax.” He reassured me again, giving me little squeeze on the shoulder.

“You are right.” I saved the files and closed the laptop. “Thank you, Dave.” I whispered, glancing at his sincere green eyes. He slightly nodded and gave me one of his sweet smiles.

“Don’t look at it anymore and just send it to their manager.” Dave let go of me and took a sip of his coffee. I also took a sip of mine and made a grimace. We stayed in silence for a second, as I was lost in my own thoughts, until Dave cleared his throat. “Can I... Can I ask you something?” He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to ask whatever he had in mind.

“Of course you can.” I turned all my attention to him.

“Is there something going on between you and I think his name was Ace?” His gaze focused on me.

“What? No, why?” My eyes were shifting between him and the coffee mug in my hands.

“Well, there was obviously some tension between you two on set, so I thought that you might... you know.” He awkwardly shrugged. I puffed and gave him a dismissive wave of with my hand.

“I was just pissed because he was late, that’s all.” I lied, something I caught myself doing a lot lately, especially when it came to Ace. “I hate it when people are not serious you know, and he wasn’t that day on set, so I got pissed.” This was not a lie. Ace did piss me off with his behaviour on set, not only for that, but Dave didn’t need to know.

“Yeah, that was a little annoying.” He agreed with me. “And arrogant.” Dave added. I side-eyed him for a second. “Honestly, from all the guys he was giving the weirdest vibes.”

“What do you mean?” I wanted him to elaborate more by what he meant by Ace being the ‘weirdest’.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. He is your friend after all.” The regret in his voice was clear as he quickly apologised but I shook my head.  

“We are not that close.” I pointed out. “But for real, why did you get this vibe from him? I personally think that Law is the weirdest.” I laughed, thinking of all the awkward situations I have had with Law. He was also the one I have spoken the least with.

“Nah, Law’s pretty cool.” Dave disagreed with me, nudging my shoulder. “Well, I don’t know... Ace was kinda giving me some weird looks.”

“What? For real?” I blinked surprised at Dave. “I didn’t notice anything. Are you sure he did?” Ace might be an ass from time to time, but I didn’t notice anything on set, he seemed pretty chilled with all of the guys.

“I don’t know, you are right and maybe I misread the situation.” I didn’t know what to respond, so I just gave him an awkward smile. “Look I didn’t want to bad mouth Ace or anything like it, I swear.” Dave run his hand over his hair, as he gave me a regretful look.

“Dave, please. You didn’t bad mouth anyone, if he did act like this then he is an ass.” I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. I didn’t want Dave to feel bad, for sharing his view of someone with me. “And I’m not going to tell him anything, so don’t worry.”

*************

I got home and the first thing that I did was to take a warm shower. I took of my clothes and throw them in the laundry basket. Before I got in the shower, I put some music on my phone and left it on the sink. I got in the shower and let the warm water run down my body. It helped relaxing my tensed muscles. The whole room was steamed, making everything foggy. The past few days were quite stressful for me and the upcoming ones wouldn’t be any different. From shooting the music video, to editing it and the stress if they were going to like it, to my upcoming short-cuts, my mind was going to explode. On top of it I couldn’t stop thinking about Ace, no matter how hard I tried not to. In a way he had gotten under my skin. He was so suffocating and hard to understand at times. His whole behaviour was so confusing, one second, he was all nice, bubbly and open with me and the next he was cold, and moody and overall, an asshole. I confidently can say that I’m good with reading people and understanding why they act the way they do, but Ace was another story. From what he had shared with me so far, I knew that he hadn’t had it easy in life. Especially growing up without parents, it definitely took a tool on him. I want to get to know him more and be his friend, but I’m not sure how much he would let me in his life and mind.

I couldn’t stop thinking of the afternoon we spent together on Saturday, if I was to make a cheesy movie, I would definitely recreate it. I was surprised even then how much he opened, but then so did I. Not even Nami and Usopp knew about my mother. Something that Saturday made me trust him and that same thing made him trust me. Part of me started to wonder, what if he regrated opening, as it might have been too soon, giving the fact we have known each other for almost a month. Then the scene with Samantha, and the way he was enjoying it, made my blood boil. The satisfaction in his eyes when I cut the scene right before their kiss, and the cocky smirk he had on his face, like he knew why I did it, only added fuel to my irritation with him. And the audacity to text me right after.

“Fucking Ace” I cursed under my breath as I felt myself getting irritated once again. Rubbing the bodywash up and down my body and the hot water washing it away, my mind was full of Ace. I tried to take my mind off him, but I couldn’t. I felt this warm feeling building up inside of me. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I ran one of my hands down my neck to my breast. Closing my eyes the first thing that my mind thought off was the feeling of when I was holding onto Ace’s torso while we were on his motorbike. “No, fuck.” My eyes shoot open as I shook my head quickly getting rid of the thoughts. I tried to calm myself as I was getting heated up. I reached for the towel hanged next to the shower door and wrapped it around myself. “Fuckin’ Ace.” I whispered to myself. “Fucking Ace.” I called out louder, as I smacked my hands on the sink. “Fuckin’, fuckin’ Ace.” I got mad at myself for letting him have such effect on me.

“Calling Ace.” My eyes widen as I heard Siri’s voice. I grabbed my phone as quick as possible, which had already dialled Ace’s number. Because of my wet fingers the screen wasn’t responding, no matter how fast I tried to cancel the call.

“Hey, doll.” His voice raspy and low. “You aren’t mad at me anymore?” He snorted.

“A-Ace.” My voice came out like I was out of breath. I slapped myself on the face.

“Uh... doll? Are you okay?” His voice sounded confused. “You sound a little out of breath.”

“So do you.” I quickly replied.

“You caught me in the middle of workout.” He huffed.

“Same.” I looked in the mirror at my reflection making a grimace at myself at the answer I gave him.

“And what are you working out?” He didn’t believe my answer at all, I could of hear it in his voice.

“Running.” I spatted out.

“So, you are working our running... interesting. How many are you running?”

“Five.”

“Five what, doll?” He laughed. “You ran out of words or something?” He teased me.

“Kilometres, five kilometres.” I scrunched my face as I mentally slapped myself, as I couldn’t come up with worse answer than this.

“Wow, impressive. We should run together sometime then.” I just hummed in respond to this. “And what made you call me?”

“I...um...I called you... because...” I tried to think of a quick excuse as I tighten the towel around my body. “Because of the video.” I blurted out.

“It’s done?” He sounded surprised.

“Yes, and you are the first one to know that, remember how you ask me to be the first one to know, there you go. You welcome.” I chuckled, regaining my confidence.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I did not.”

“Ace, you did.” Was he trying to irritate me, and it was working.

“I asked you to be the first one to see it, not the first one to know.” He clarified. I bit my tongue, the audacity this man had was unmatched. “So when can we watch it?”

“I am going to emailed it to Marco, but if you text me your email, I can send it to you as well.”

“No, come over my place and we can watch it together.” I was taken aback from his suggestion.

“I’m extremely tired, so thank you, but no.” I politely decline his offer.

“Take a nap, it’s barely 3PM, I will come and pick you up around six.” He didn’t tell or ask me; he literally commanded me.

“Ace I just told you I’m tired.” I hissed.

“Didn’t I give you a solution just a second ago?” He was testing my patience at this point.

“Ace, I’m not the type you can order around.” I rolled my eyes annoyed.

“Is that a challenged, doll?” He teased.

“Ace you are...” He didn’t let me finish.

“Charmin, I know. Now tell me what your plans for the night are?” I could feel the smug smirk on his face without even seeing him.  

“Sleeping.” I spatted.

“I promise I will get you back home the latest around ten.” Ace wasn’t going to give up.

“You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, will you?” He clicked with his tongue. “Fine, but under one condition.” I sighed.

“Shoot.”

“You send me the address and I come by myself, because I’m not getting on that thing again.” He laughed as I referred to his motorbike as ‘that thing’.

“Sure, I’ll send you the address.” And with this he hung up. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and sighed deeply. I looked at my phone and whined.

“How? How did you hear ‘call Ace’, hu? Explain!” I was talking to my phone like it can respond to me. I didn’t know how to call this, but some cosmetic power out there was clearly beefing with me, as what just happened right now, was made up straight out of a movie.

**********

Around five-something pm, I woke up from the nap I took. I stretched my body and reached to take my phone and check the address that Ace sent me. It was thirty minutes away with the metro.

“Ops, guess I will be late.” I said to myself with a sly smile. Ace could wait for a little bit.

I put a pair of dark blue leggings on and just a white hoodie on top. I grabbed my bag, but first checked if I got everything with me. I left my place and went to catch the metro. After almost forty minutes I was in front of his front door. The area where Ace lived was quite nice depending on which side of it you live. He lived in the middle between the good and the bad side, which I found kind of ironic. From what I have gotten to know him so far, Ace was somehow always in between something. The building where he lived was old from the outside but renovated from the inside. He had sent me the code for the entrance door of the building, so I easily got in. His apartment was on the last floor and there was no elevator, so by the time I reached the seventh floor I was out of breath. I made a mental note to myself that I need to consider started working out. I chewed on my bottom lip as tension started to build up in me before I rang the bell, and a sight left my lips. I looked down as I was playing nervously with my fingers waiting for Ace to open the door. The door swinged open, and Ace stood in front of me. I lifted my head slowly and I was met with Ace’s bare upper body, as only a pair of grey sweatpants were hanging low on his hips. My eyes widen and I immediately looked away.

“You are late, doll.” A smug smirk was growing on his face as he saw me all flushed and avoiding his gaze.

“You are not the one to speak about who’s late or not.” I snapped quietly. He moved aside and let me in. I stepped inside and took off my shoes, kicking them on the side. Ace closed the door behind me, and I followed him. The apartment was spacious. By the entrance, on the left, was a door that was closed and next to it was the kitchen which wasn’t very big and had no door. From the small hallway we went straight to the spacious living room. The walls were anchor grey colour with some naked spots on most corners and you could see the bricks. The two big windows, on each side of the wall where a big TV was placed, were almost touching the floor, and some long off-white curtains were hanged on them. In the middle was a big L-shaped light grey couch with a square coffee table in front of it. In the right spaced corner Ace had a desk by the window, which was quite a mess with pencils and sheets of paper everywhere, even on the ground. By the desk were positioned three guitar stances, only two guitars placed there the third one missing. The corner wall there was covered in posters of different bands and artists. On the left side of the living room behind the couch almost to the corner was another door which was closed as well. The left side wall had another big window but that one didn’t reach the floor like the others. In front of it was big sideboard with a lot of picture frames on top of it. The apartment overall was super clean and tidy, which surprised me a little as I always thought of Ace as a messy guy.

“Wow, your place is amazing.” I said as he offered to take my bag, and I handed it to him, still avoiding looking at his direction. I sat on the couch where I saw the third missing guitar.

“Do you want to drink something? I have like coke and beer.” He came by the back of the couch and picked the guitar putting it back to its place.

“Is it zero?” I glanced at him, his back facing me. His broad back was defined with muscles. I always thought he had a back tattoo but apparently, I was wrong, instead the back of his shoulders was covered with freckles.

“Uh... I have to check.” He scratched the back of his neck as he smiled at me. I slowly nodded and moved my eyes away from his body as he left the room. My eyes landed on the paper sheets on the table and the pen on top of them. I tilted my head to take a better look at them.

“Do you want ice?” Ace yelled from the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” I yelled back. He came soon after with a can of Coke Zero and a glass full of ice. “Thank you.” I whispered as he handed it to me. I poured the Coke into the glass and took a big sip. Ace put the paper sheets away and sat on the other side of the sofa, leaning back as he spreads his legs like a slut, and pulled up his phone.

“Have you eaten?” He asked me without looking at me but scrolling on his phone.

“Uh, no I haven’t.” I murmured, swallowing hard.

“What do you want to eat?” He glanced at me.

“I don’t have preferences.” I shrugged. Ace looked again at me and sighed.

“Doll, relax please. You know you can lay or just lean comfortably, no need to be stiff at all. Feel at home, I mean it.” He threw one of the small pillows on the couch at me and I caught it. I didn’t say anything, I just hugged the pillow and leaned back on the couch. “So, I don’t know... Pizza?” Ace raised his eyebrows waiting for a respond.

“Sure, pizza is good.” I nodded.

“Have you tried this place ‘Pappa Grappa’ they have th-” I didn’t let Ace finished his sentence as I squeaked excitedly almost choking as I was taking a sip of the cola. Ace’s eyes widen at my reaction as he gave me a questionable look.

“Are you kidding me? They are the best! And oh my God, their chicken wings, have you tried them?” I moved to sit right next to him, excitement taking over me. Ace just shook his head in response to my question. I gasped. “Oh my God, Ace. Ace, Ace you must try them. You don’t understand those chicken wings taste like haven, like if haven was food it was going to be this chicken wings.” I grabbed him by the biceps and squeezed it, all my shyness left my body as I was babbling to him about the chicken wings. Ace smiled at my childish excitement.

“Doll, why don’t you take my phone and order whatever you heart desires and I just take care of the payment, hm?” He handed me his phone to take it.

“No, let’s split it thi-.” I insist but Ace shushed me fast.

“You are not paying for anything. Now choose whatever you want.” He leaned back on the couch, both arms behind his neck, eyes fixed on me. I wanted to protest, but arguing with Ace was impossible as he would never back up.

“But next time is on me.” I looked at him seriously.

“Yeah, sure.” He snorted. I couldn’t help but noticed that his abs tensed when he laughed. My eyes moved quickly back to his phone, as I felt a wave of heat hitting me up. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

“What pizza do you want?”

“Your choice.” I nodded to his response and went with my favourite pizza. Once I added the chicken wings as well, I handed him the phone so he could proceed with the payment. “So.. how are you doing, doll?” He put his phone in his sweatpants pocket and looked at me. Even though Ace had a smug look on his face, his eyes weren’t. His deep brown eyes had this soft look, nothing mischievous or mocking behind them, just pure softness.

“Been better, you?” I leaned on the couch, a bit of a space between us. I grab one of the pillows behind my back and put it on my lap as I brought my legs close to me and crossed them.

“Why’s that?” Ace frowned upon hearing my response.

“I’m just extremely stressed that is all.” I shrugged. “How have you been?”

“Same as always. Still stressed about your… short-cuts, was it called that?” He raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“Yeah, I haven’t found a location for the party scene, but I might ask Dave for help, as he might know someone who can let us film in his apartment.” I clicked with my tongue. Ace clenched his jaw as he hummed. “What?” I chuckled at his reaction.

“What, what?” He frowned his eyebrows.

“What was with that ‘reaction’?” I mimicked his jaw clenching and hum. Ace shook his head denying it.

“I never did this. But anyway, aren’t you here to show me the video?” He quickly changed the subject.

“Yes, I need my laptop.” I was about to stand up, but Ace stopped me and instead he did and brought me my bag. I thanked him and took the laptop out of my bag. I took a deep breath as I opened it, and it loaded. Ace sat closer to me this time, his body almost touching mine. “So, I edit it like thousand times, but this is the final edit. I was literally going crazy over it and Dave had to calm me down and reassured me that it is good.” A little giggle escaped my lips. I was too focused on the screen and didn’t see Ace rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure you did a good job.” Ace bit the inside of his cheek. I slightly tilted my head and side-eyed him, before opening the video file.

“Okay, are you ready?” I asked before pressing play. He nodded, his face emotionless. ‘Asshole’ I thought to myself, at lease he could pretend that he was excited to see his own video. I pressed play and the video started. My eyes were moving between the laptop and Ace the whole time, but I couldn’t read his face. His face was like a stone. I started to feel more and more uncertain with every passing second, biting on my nails now afraid of his reaction. What if he doesn’t like the video or worst hate it? My thoughts were running wild, while his eyes were glued to the screen. The video ended and I waited for his response.

“So…. What do you think?” I swallowed hard, the tension he was building was killing me.

“Oh, doll…” He clicked with his tongue, shaking his head as he pursed his lips. My eyes widen at his reaction.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head in distress. I jumped on my feet as I covered my face with my hands. “I knew you were going to hate it, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” My eyes filed up with tears immediately and my lip started trembling.  

“No, no, hell, don’t cry, doll.” Ace jumped from the couch and grabbed me by the shoulders. “I was kidding, please, don’t cry.” He tried to calm me down.

“No, you are lying.” I didn’t believe him, his reaction said it out loud that he wasn’t happy with the video.

“No, I’m not.” He cupped my face in his hands making me look at him. “(Y/N), the video is amazing. I swear upon my dead mother I love the video, doll.” I blinked at him, as a tear rolled down my face. Ace quickly whipped it with his thumb. “Doll, please don’t cry. I just wanted to mess around with you a little, I swear.” He pulled me towards his chest and wrapped his arms around me. My heart skipped a beat. His skin was so warm and soft, yet his body felt so hard and muscular. I froze in his embrace. My heartbeat fastens, we have never been this close before, except from when were on his motorbike but that was different. I took a deep breath, and I got lightheaded. I never noticed how good Ace smelled - a woody, citrusy and musky notes perfectly mixed in one creating this intoxicating scent of a man. Ace let go of me after a moment and took a step back, lifting my chin up with two of his fingers looking at my eyes. “I’m sorry.” His eyes were sincere.

“You really like it?” My voice came out like a whisper.

“I don’t like it, I love it. I knew you can do it.” He moved a strand of my hair and gently put it behind my ear.

“You are an asshole. I hope you are aware of that.” I frowned my eyebrows at him, as I turned and sat on the couch, facing away from him. Ace smiled and sat next to me and pulled me closer to him with one hand. He wrapped it around my shoulder and whispered in my ear:

“I am. But please don’t be mad at me, doll.” His breath was hot on my skin, and I got goosebumps all over my body. I turned my head to look at him our faces inches apart. I slightly open my mouth to say something, but nothing came. My brows still frowned as I was still affected. He was just observing me, not saying anything, his eyes soften again.

“I should be packing my stuff and leave now but be thankful that I’m starving otherwise I would have been gone by now.” I finally told him, turning my head away from him. Ace heartly laughed and nodded agreeing with me. His phone rang and he quickly picked up – it was the delivery guy and Ace told him that he was going to come down in a second.

“Faster.” I yelled after him as I heard him opening the front door. He just laughed in response before closing it. I huffed and looked around. My eyes land on the big sideboard with the picture frames. I got up from the couch and went to look at them. They were mostly of him with his brothers or friends. I picked the one of all three of them as kids smiling wide with one front tooth missing, Luffy looking so much smaller than his big brothers, they were no older than eight or nine years old.

“Snooping around?” Ace said behind me. I jumped a little as I didn’t hear him coming back at all.

“Sorry, hope you don’t mind me looking at the pictures.” I chuckled still holding the frame. “This is super cute picture.” I pointed out.

“Wanna hear the story behind it?” I nodded eagerly as I handed him the framed photo. “So, me and Sabo lost the same front tooth at the same time. I think we were around nine years old. And to not feel left out, five years old Luffy went, and till this day we don’t know how he managed but took out the exact same tooth. Kid was so happy that he was matching with us, until he had to wait two years for the tooth to grow back.” Ace placed the picture on its place and we both laughed when he finished the story.

“This is so funny, but I feel so bad for poor little Luffy.” I cooed.

“Yeah, poor Luffy.” He smiled. “Come on, doll. Your wings are here, don’t want them to get cold, do you?” He pinched my cheek and turned around. Just before I followed him, my eyes landed on a picture that caught my attention. I gasped, Ace heard me and tilted his head to look at me. I carefully picked the frame in my hands. The picture was of a woman. Her hair was long very light strawberry blonde colour, a hibiscus flower was placed behind her left ear. She was smiling, her dark brown eyes were full of life and her face was cover with freckles. Ace came and stood closer to me, not saying anything.

“That’s you mom, right?” I looked at him, he was looking at the picture with so much adoration and softness. He softly hummed in response. “God, Ace she was gorgeous.” I whispered. Looking at her now I understood where Ace got his beauty from.

“I know.” He softly said.

“You look so much her.” I smiled at him. Ace looked at me with wide eyes, full of surprise and shock.

“What?” He breathed out. I put the picture back making sure I positioned it as it was before I picked it up.

“What? D-did I said something wrong?” I blinked confused.

“N-no, you are just the first person who has ever said this to me.” There was both surprise and sadness in his voice. I raised my brows not expecting to hear this.

“Are you kidding me? You are literally like her twin.” Ace swallowed hard when he heard my words. It didn’t take me long to realise that I stuck something within him with my words. I saw his reaction and gently took his hand in mind and gave it a squeeze. “I think there are some very delicious chicken wings and pizza waiting for us.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him trying to distract him from his thoughts. Ace cleared his throat and nodded, shaking the thoughts away. We sat down on the coach, and I excitedly started taking the food out of the bag.

“Could you please bring two plates and a lot of napkins please?” I flutter my eyelashes at him. He quickly got up and did exactly what I told him to do. He came back and handed me the plates as he sat down closer to me this time. “So, are you ready, to try the most tender, mouth-watering, making you taste haven, juicy, flavoury rich, orgasm reaching chicken wings in the world?” I seriously said while looking at Ace in the eyes. He covered his mouth trying to hold his laughter but his whole body was shaking. I opened the box with the wings and smelled it breathing out loudly. I took two and handed one of it to Ace.

“Now, this is not an ordinary chicken wing, so you eat them a certain way.” I lift my finger in the air pointing out how important it was for him to listen to me carefully now. “You grab the wing, you place it in your mouth and then just bite on it and pull out the bone. They are so tender that a gentle bite strips all the meat, you got it?” I pointed my finger at him.

“Got it.” He lifted his hands in the air, like he was under arrest. I gave him a cheer with the wing and nodded letting him know that he can eat now. I did the same, the moment the juiciness and the BBQ sauce touched my tongue I couldn’t stop the moan that left my lips. I leaned on the couch as I was enjoying the taste, my eyes closed. Ace was taken aback from my reaction last thing he expected was to hear me moan. He swallowed and licked his lips, looking at me.

“Doll, you good?” He lifted his head a bit to look at my face.

“I’m having soul orgasm now, please don’t interrupt me.” I lifted my hand to his face to make him stop talking. Ace burst out laughing, he put the plate to the side as he grabbed on his stomach. “What are you laughing at? This is better than sex.” I chuckled.

“Look, doll. The wings are good, I give you this – you were right about them, but…” He took a breath trying to calm himself down. “Nothing can beat sex.” He shook his head at me as he opened the pizza box taking a slice of it.

“Sex is overrated.” I disagreed with him as I took another wing, enjoying the test of it. Ace snorted out when he heard me.

“Doll, all respect here, but if you have slept only with boys who had no idea how to please a woman, that’s on them, not sex.” He winked at me, and I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Why the eye rolling? You know I’m right. Come on, if it’s not that personal and uncomfortable for you… have you never you know… had a mind blowing sex?” He deeply exhaled; his eyes were full of curiosity a little devilish smile playing on his lips. I sighed gesturing him to hand me a slice of pizza. He did and I thanked him, as I took a bite of it. I lifted my finger to tell him to give me a second before I response.

“I’ve done it only once so far, and it was bad, like embarrassing bad.” Shivers ran down my spine as I remembered my first time. My face cringed at the thought of it.

“Sorry to hear that, doll.” He chuckled before taking a bite of his slice. “When was it?”

“Last year.” I replied. “Yours?” I glanced at him.

“I was seventeen.” I got surprised by his answer. “What?” He noticed my reaction.

“Nothing just… I thought… I don’t know… like you are going to say something like fifteen.” I shrugged.

“I wish.” Ace huffed and we shared a laughed. ”But seriously, just because one guy did you bad, doesn’t mean all of them will.” I gave him a look and rolled my eyes at him. “Hey, take it as an advice from a friend.” He pointed his finger at me.

“Sure, Ace, sure.” I gave him a thumb up, as I was taking another wing.

“Hm, come here.” Ace gestured me with two fingers to lean towards him. I did and he ran his thumb on the corner of my lips. “You had a little sauce on you, doll.” He licked his finger clean.

“You could give me a napkin.” I remarked licking my lips.

“Why? I can always clean you good.” He smirked at me. I facepalmed myself, shaking my head as I tried not to laugh. I couldn’t deny it, but I always have fun around Ace. The moment I relax around him it feels like I could be myself without any modesty. We finished eating and I stood to clean the table, but Ace stopped me again and told me that he would take care of it. I checked the time, and it was already 9PM.

“Wanna smoke one?” Ace asked me when he finished cleaning around.

“Oh, I don’t smoke cigarettes. Plus, I have to go it’s getting late.” I half smiled at him.

“Stay the night, you can sleep in my bed, I can sleep here.” Ace shrugged as he sat next to me again. “And I didn’t mean cigarettes, I have some weed… you know we can roll one.” He winked at me, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Thanks Ace, but some other time. I must search for a place where I can shoot the party scene tomorrow, as I have like five days until it’s my turn to film it.” I leaned my head on the back of the couch and tilted it towards Ace.

“I can help you with this just stay the night, plus I’m ether driving you, as I will not let you go alone at that time, or you stay here for the night.” His face might not seem stern, but his tone was.

“Am I a hostage now?” I lightly chuckled and pouted my lips.

“Hostages don’t have choice, but you do.” He raised his eyebrows waiting for my response.

“I don’t have anything with me Ace, not even a toothbrush.”

“I can give you one. Something else you would need, doll?” He leaned closer to me, his eyes locked with mine. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, shaking my head.

“You are so persistent.” I pushed him on the chest. Ace laughed at me before he got up from the couch.

***************

We shared a joint and now we were laying on the couch, soft music was playing in the background from the speaker. Ace was lounged on the couch, hands behind his neck, his head propped on the back of the couch. I was laying on the couch with my head leaned on Ace’s lap. I felt so high, as I couldn’t remember the last time I smoked weed. The silence between us was terrifically comfortable.

“Ace...” I whispered tilting my head up, to take a better look at him. He hummed in response not looking at me. “What made you believe in me?”

“What do you mean, doll?” His voice raspy and low, almost like a whisper.

“You had never seen any of my work, yet you trusted me enough to direct your band’s first and most important video...” I took a deep breath. “Why?” Ace didn’t respond at first.

“I don’t know, doll. I had a feeling, so I went with my gut.” He finally looked at me, his eyes were half lidded as usually but this time they were so red. He was probably as high as me. I slowly nodded moving my gaze to the wall covered with posters, knowing that I won’t get any further answers from him. As I was lost in my own thoughts I felt his hand on my head, his fingers running through my hair. This made me relax even more. “But I wasn’t wrong.” Ace broke the silence. “You did great, doll. Believe more in yourself.” My heart skipped a beat when I heard him saying this.

“It’s hard, you know?” I whispered. “I can’t shake the ‘imposter’ feeling in me, no matter what people tell me.” I quietly confessed. “It doesn’t mater how good something turns out to be, it is never a hundred percent perfect, you know? Like it can aways be better, yet it can never be perfect. Nothing can ever be perfect...” My voice was so low, I wasn’t even sure if Ace heard me. His fingers moved slowly and gently to my cheek caressing it. I leaned into his touch closing my eyes.

“I know what you mean, doll.” He softly said, voice still low and raspy. “I feel the same, after every show. I have been living with the ‘imposter’ syndrome my whole life.” I was listening carefully to Ace, as he was opening to me again. “I wish... I wish, I have been feeling, as an imposter, only for when it comes music, but... I feel that way about everything, even life itself.” I turned my head to look at his face. His eyes were looking at me. Sadness and doubt could have been read in them. I turned my body to the side and placed a hand on his chest, heart beating steady. His fingers still on my cheek as he was running them up and down slowly. “I feel like I’m bringing the guys down all the time. After every performance we have I’m a mess... and the feeling of not being good enough for anything never leaves.” My heart ached for him. Not only because I knew what he meant as I related to him, but because he didn’t deserve to feel this way. Ace was very talented and a good person as well, even when he was acting like an ass sometimes, but now more than ever I understood why... it was all an act, to protect himself. “Don’t even get me started on the family shit...” He huffed.

“Now I understand why ‘What's eating Gilbert Grape’ is a movie you related to.” Ace huffed again, but this time with a half smirk. I rose up and sat on the couch. I moved closer to Ace, who’s hands were now rested on the back of the couch. His head still leaned back on, he just side-eyed me. I slowly lifted my hand and without words, just with an exchange of looks I asked for permission if I could touch him. Ace barely nodded as he blinked letting me know without words or big gestures that I can touch him. I slowly ran my fingers through his dark locks. His hair was thick and little wavy, so soft in touch.

“Yea, even thought we are the same age with Sabo, I have always been the big brother, and I had to be the man in the house on top of it. A lot of my life choices were based on how it would affect them, but I can’t complain really, can I?” He might have said it like a joke, but the hint of bitterness was as clear as a glass. “You know, I might be twenty-five but sometimes I feel like I’m forty-five, life is so tiring at time.” I only nodded, not sure what to say and not knowing if I should say something in a first place. Ace closed his eyes, and I continued to play with hair by running my fingers thought it.

“You know...” I took a deep breath before I continue. “I might not have siblings or had the exact same difficulties in life as you... but I can always listen and be there for you, as I understand what it feels like, under different circumstances than yours of course, but still... After all what are friends for?” I placed a small smile on my face and swallowed hard, the word ‘friend’ was starting to take a bitter taste on my tongue. Ace opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Sure, doll. I’ll keep this in mind.” A half smile appeared on his lips. After a moment of silence Ace spoke first.

“You look tired, wanna go to sleep?” I didn’t want the night to end, yet. But even high I could sense that this conversation affected him in some way, and I didn’t want to push any further. I just nodded in respond to his question. He got up from the couch and I followed him. Ace opened the door to the room that was behind the couch and switched on the lights. The walls in the room were entirely naked all the bricks visible. In the middle was a big wooden pallet bed. In front of it was a big bookcase covering the entire wall. He had all sorts of books, movies and CDs on it. On the right side of the bed, next to the wall he had two black clothing racks, all his clothes hanged there. The left side had a big window with two white long curtains hanged on both ends.

“Do you want to change in something more comfortable?” He leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. I didn’t pay him much attention as I was admiring his film collection, reading all the titles he had.

“You have so many DVDs.” I exclaimed amazed, I knew Ace was a big movie fan already, but I didn’t know about his DVDs collection. I was even more surprised to see that a lot of them were also quite recent movies. “You know streaming platforms exist nowadays.” I teased him and tilted my head to look at him. Giggle escaped my lips, as I saw Ace faced flushed for a first time ever. I quickly stood in front of him and poked him on his stomach, as he was trying to avoid my gaze. “I didn’t know you are such a geek.” I poked him again and he tensed his muscles after every poke.

“I’m not, I just like to collect things that I like.” He grabbed my wrists before I land another poke on him. He tried to give me a warning look as I tried to fight him.

“Geek, geek.” I couldn’t stop giggling as I could see him getting more and more flushed.

“Okay that was it.” Ace said before he yanked my body and tossed me on his shoulder with an ease. I squeaked, everything around me spinning from the fast motion.

“Ace, put me down.” I closed my eyes, still trippy from the weed. “Ace, Ace please.” I whined and begged him. He was laughing at me as I was squeaking and kicking my feet in the air, my arms around his torso as I was afraid that he would drop me.

“Not so confident now doll, hu?” He tossed me up on his shoulder again and I screamed closing my eyes as I thought he was going to drop me. Ace laughed out loud as he gently laid me down on the bed. The soft mattress hit my back as Ace propped his arms on both sides of my body. His face buried at the crock of my neck. Ace couldn’t stop laughing, his body and muscles trembling and tensing. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and goosebumps ran all over my body. He slowly lifted his head and looked at me. Both of us were still high, I could see the redness in his eyes as we locked our gazes. His laughter calmed down and his eyes darken. I felt my mouth run dry as I tried to swallow the burning feeling inside of me. All that could be heard was the muffled music from the living room and our slowed breathing. The deja-vu from the Halloween party hitting my memories. This time I didn’t close my eyes as I did before. He was studying my face the same way I was his. My heartbeat quickens, and I slowly raised my hand placing it on his chest. His skin was so soft. Ace closed his eyes as he drew a sharp breath in. I could feel his heartbeat matching mine. We stayed like this for a moment. I slowly moved my hand up to the back of his neck, the urge to pull him closer to me taking over me, but I still hesitated. Ace wasn’t moving at all and closed his eyes, as his breathing got heavy. His whole body tensed as he tried to move away from me. He sat on his keens on the bed and his eyes shoot open in panic. I push myself up on my elbows with a confused look on my face.

“Doll, have I told you that I have narcol-“ Ace couldn’t finish his sentenced as his eyes rolled back and his whole body went numb. My body rose immediately and caught Ace by the arm, pulling him towards me with all the straight I have had in me. My heart was going to explode as I didn’t know what to do, and the fact that if I didn’t react so fast Ace was going to hurt himself so bad. His body was laying in my arms, as I gently placed him on the mattress.

“Ace.” I whispered trying no to panic, as I had no idea how to help him. The only thing that kept me as calm as it was possible to be in this situation, was the fact that he was breathing steady. I gently tucked a lock of hair away from his face and placed my hand on his cheek and caressed it. My thoughts were running wild, as I had no idea how long he was going to be passed out like this. I pulled my phone out from the pocket on my hoodie and started to type fast what to do in situations like this one. My eyes were moving between the screen and Ace all the time. A few minutes later Ace started to open his eyes. I froze on the bed not being able to move as I didn’t want to scare him or something. He covered his face with his hands and rubbed his temples.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Ace groaned loudly, as he looked at me with worry and embarrassment written all over his face. “Doll, I’m so sorry. Please, tell me are you okay? Did I fall on top of you? Are you hurt?” He sat on the bed but kept a distance between us.

“I-I’m okay, are y-you okay? What happened?” I blinked at him, the shock of what had happened still haven’t left my body.

“I’m sorry, if I scared you.” He shook his head as he cursed under his breath. “I’m narcoleptic, guess I forgot to mention it before.” He mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with me. I reached and placed my hand on his knee squeezing it.

“Ace, it’s okay. I just got panicked because I didn’t know what to do to help you. Does this happen... a lot?” My brows frowned slightly as I was concerned about him. Ace finally looked at me. He rubbed his chin and shook his head.

“Kinda, but I haven’t had a cataplexy attack in the past eight months.” He seemed lost in his own thoughts. Now that I know that he is narcoleptic, this explains why half of the time he looked so tired or emotionless. “And you don’t need to do anything, the attack passes by itself in a few minutes, and I’m still conscious in the meantime anyway.” He shrugged as he explained to me.

“Does your body hurt? I caught you in time, before you hurt yourself bad, but still I had to pull you quite hard...” I moved closer to Ace, and he snorted.

“I’m all good, doll. Don’t worry I have fallen quite a lot, so I’m used to take hits.” I pouted at him when he tried to turn this into a joke.   

“Ace, it’s not funny.” I murmured. “Do you take pills for it?” I softly asked him.

“Yeah, I do. Everyday, as I have type one narcolepsy.” He gave me one last look before he got up from the bed. “If you want to change into something more comfortable take something from my clothes.” He was about to walked out of the room when I stopped him.

“You can sleep in your bed, I can sleep on the couch it’s not a problem at all, or I can call myself uber an-“ He didn’t let me finish.

“Doll, go to sleep. I’m fine, just don’t pity me now, okay.” His face was serious, while his voice was more laid.  

“I’m not pitying you.” I quickly replied as I frowned my eyebrows again.

“Good.” He said as he grabbed the doorhandle to close the door after himself. “Night, doll.”

“Goodnight, Ace.” I quietly called after him as he closed the door. I sighed looking at the closed door. He was so stubborn sometimes, most of the time actually. I got from the bed to change to one of his t-shists. I found a simple white t-shirt that looked like it would sit on me like a dress, so I took my clothes off and put it instead. I turned off the lights and got into his bed. The room was not completely dark as the curtains were open and some streetlight was reflecting. I buried my head in the pillows, which smelled so much like him. Thoughts were running all over my mind and all of them were about Ace. I was tossing and turning around until sleep took over me.

**********

In the morning, I woke up around ten something. I rose and sat in the bed for a second, looking around. A yawn escaped my lips as I reached to grab my phone. My eyes widen with shock as I saw I had a message from one of the actors for my short-cut film asking where I was, as we had arranged a meeting today in the morning. I quickly called them and apologised, asking them if they could still meet me in thirty minutes. Thankfully they could so I quickly got up from the bed and dressed myself with my cloths, tossing the white shirt on the unmade bed.

“Ace?” I called out when I stepped outside the room. I looked around for him everywhere, but I couldn’t find him. Finally, I saw a note on the coffee table. I grabbed the note and read it.

“I have some early morning stuffs that I must do, I left you toothbrush in the bathroom. Eat something. There is a spear key by the door, lock it and drop it inside the mailbox. Ace” I read out loud. An unpleasant feeling set in my stomach. I didn’t expect at all to wake up and not to see him. I shook the feeling away and ran to the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth. I found the spear key and locked the door behind me, dropping the key back in the mailbox. I quickly ran down the stairs and then to the metro station. While I was in the metro, I typed a short message to Ace that I dropped his key in the mailbox and thanked him for letting me stay over last night. It was so cold outside today; I was freezing with the leggings and the hoodie only. I got to the university as fast I could. Running down the hallway I ran into someone’s back accidently as I couldn’t pass by them on time.

“I’m so, so sorry.” I turned to tell them, only to be met with Dave’s green eyes.

“(Y/N), why are in such hurry?” He smiled at me, confusion written on his face.

“I forgot that I have a meeting with my actors for the short-cut and they have been waiting for me for an hour now.” I quickly explained.

“Ohh shit, then run, catch you later.” He sent me off as he flashed me another smile. I returned the smile and ran to the room where the actors were waiting for me. I apologised to them again, but they brushed me off by saying that they understood.

“Okay, let me get my laptop and we can go through the script.” I smiled at all four of them. “Fuck, no” I cursed as realisation hit me. I forgot my backpack at Ace’s place. I ran my fingers thought my hair pulling it as I tried to take some deep breaths and calm myself down. I have everything on my phone as well so it shouldn’t be a problem. They all locked at me confused as I turned around. I explained quickly what I have done, and they shared some looks between themselves. I couldn’t blame them; I was all over the place today.

“I have it on my phone so it shouldn’t be a problem.” I pulled my phone which had only thirty percent battery left. ‘Perfect, just perfect’ I thought to myself, before I started the meeting with the guys.

After an hour and a half, we were done, as we even had some time to rehears and improvise the scenes. I thanked them and told them that I will send more information regarding their rolls tonight. They bit me goodbye and left. With the remaining five percent that I had left, I texted Ace a quick message that I have forgotten my bag at his place, and I really need it as I have everything in it, even the keys to my apartment, and I would be grateful if he could bring it to me. While waiting for a response from Ace, I texted Dave to see if he was still around school. He quickly replied to meet him in the chill aera. I made my way there and he was sitting with some classmates of his. He greeted me with a big smile as always and made me some space to sit next to him.

“How was the meeting?” He asked as he saw my tired face.

“Uh, don’t ask, I made a fool of myself in front of them. They probably think that I have no idea what I’m doing, and they won’t be wrong. I’m all over the place today, I even forgot my bag so I had to work from my phone, which has no battery left.” I complained and I buried my head in the palms of my hands. Dave laughed at me and softly ran circles on my back.

“Nah, you are beating yourself up again.” He spoke. “Also, what Marco thinks of the video? Did he like it?” I almost broke my neck when I raised my head fast, as I totally forgot to sent Marco the video. Dave saw my reaction and frowned. “Please, don’t tell me you forgot to send it to him.” I slowly nodded my head at his question, biting on my lips hard. “Call him and apologies immediately, as this will come out very unprofessional.” Dave handed me his charger so I could plug my phone to charge. The moment it started to charge I called Marco immediately. I explained to him the situation and he told me not to worry much just to make sure to sent it to him by four o’clock today. I thanked him and we ended the conversation.

“Well, that went well.” I exhaled as I sat back down next to Dave. I checked my phone, but I still had no response from Ace. “He gave me time until four o’clock.” I told Dave. He patted me on the shoulder.

“Why don’t you go home and send it now?” He suggested.

“Because I wasn’t at home last night and even my keys are in my backpack.” I mumbled. ‘Why wasn’t Ace responding?’ was all I could think about. “Sorry, what?” I asked Dave to repeat as he was asking me something, but I didn’t pay him attention.

“I was asking whe-“ He got interrupted by my phone ringing. It was an unknown number and I hesitated before I picked up.

“Hello?” I spoke.

“Hey, (Y/N). It’s me Luffy.” Luffy’s cheerful voice filled up my ears.

“Oh, hey Luffy. What’s up?” I was so confused. How did he get my number and why was he calling me.

“Ace gave me your number to contact you, as he said you forgot you bag at his place last night and I must bring it to you as soon as possible. So where are you?” My whole mood changed in the span of a second. Why was Ace making Luffy do this? And the thing that offended me was, couldn’t he texted me and tell me that Luffy will do it? I would have understood him that he was busy or whatever he was doing right now, but this... this hurt me a bit.

“(Y/N) are you still on the phone?” Luffy’s voice brought me back to Earth.

“Yes, yes, sorry. Um, I’m in university but I can meet you somewhere close to your place, as we live close by, and I need to go home anyway.” I suggested.

“Okay, perfect. How does it sound in one hour, as I need some time to get to Ace’s place.”

“Yeah, sure. See you in an hour Luffy.”

“See you.” He said before hanging up.

The pang in my chest was very unpleasant. Why did he do that? I checked my messages, and he haven’t even marked them as read. Did I do something? I started to recall last night in my memories to think of something that might have triggered this behaviour in him, but I couldn’t think of anything. I felt a hand on my knee, I looked up and I met Dave’s eyes.

“Are you okay?” His voice sounded concerned.

“Yeah, just tired.” I gave him a half smile. “Hey, by the way by any chance do you know anyone who might be up to let me use their apartment for my short-cut, as mine is way too small?” I asked him, as this was another thing that I had to stress about.

“I must check with my friends, but I will let you know.”

“Thank you, I will also need some extras so if you know anyone who wants to be in front of camera give them my number.” I chuckled.

“I need your number first, before I can give it to other people, you know?” He winked at me.

“What? You don’t have it?” I exclaimed surprised. Dave clicked with his tongue and shook his head. I gestured him to give me his phone so I could put my number in it. “There you go.” I nodded at him as I handed him the phone back. I looked at the time and decided that I must leave to where me and Luffy agreed on meeting. “Thank you for the charger.” I gave it back to Dave.

“Any plans for tonight?” He asked me before I leave.

“No, but I’m planning to stay at home as I really need one night by myself.” I exhaled loudly as I was really tired.

“I understand. Well, if you change your mind let me know.” He got up and hugged me goodbye.

**********

I waited for Luffy close by the supermarket that I knew it was close to his place. The weather got even colder and at this point I was freezing. I was bouncing on one leg to the other trying to keep myself somehow warm as I couldn’t feel my toes.

“(Y/N).” I heard Luffy’s voice calling and I turned around. He had a big grin across his face. I waved and started to walk toward him to meet halfway. Luffy gave me a big warm hug. “You are freezing.” He pointed out as he handed me my bag.

“Thank you Luffy, you are a life safer.” I sniffed.

“Come on, I will walk with you.” He said and we headed towards my place. “So how have you been lately?”

“Well, been better, very stressed lately. But once next week is over, I will be able to finally relax.” I smiled at him as shivers run down my body.

“Do you want my hoodie as well, I have a t-shirt underneath.” That was so nice of him, but I shook my head. “Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes full of concern.

“I’m sure.” I nodded. “But how are you? Haven’t seen you since Halloween.”

“Prety good, preparing for competition.” He responded.

“What competition?”

“Oh, you might not know but I run marathons. I have already won five, but this one is nothing big, only for people from my university.” He explained.

“Wait, you go to university?” I had no idea that Luffy studied, Nami and Usopp have never mentioned anything, and so did Luffy.

“Yeah, I’m studying animation.” His smile grew even bigger.

“What? Are you for real?” My eyes widen in surprise. I would have never guessed that Luffy was studying something as hard as animation, I didn’t even know that he can draw.

“Shihihih, yes, I am.” Luffy laughed at my reaction. “Don’t worry everyone react like this, I’m not the smartest out there, but I’m not stupid.” He raised his chin. “I might be a little dumb sometimes tho.” He nudged my arm. We laughed together. “But why are you so stressed?”

“Well, your brothers video first, it was a big challenged. And second the short-cut projects, maybe you have heard about it from Nami or Usopp. I need to find a nice apartment as soon as possible where I can shoot my film.” Tension took over my body once again.

“I can ask Sanji. He lives in a very nice and big apartment, I’m sure he wouldn’t say not.” Luffy pulled out his phone and quickly typed something in it. “Done.” He grinned at me. “I will let you know when he response.”

“Oh my God, Luffy you shouldn’t have to. Thank you so much.” I gave him a hug. He laughed again.

“Nothing to thank me for, Sanji still haven’t replied.”

“But still just the fact that you asked him, is so nice of you.” I smiled at him again. Luffy rubbed his chin and turned his head to look at me.

“By the way, is something going on between you and my brother?” Another thing about Luffy was that he was very straight forward.

“No, nothing. We are just friends, that’s all.” The bitter feeling came back, as I answered Luffy’s question. “Why?”

“It was just super strange, like... Ace never lets girls sleep over his place, so when he called me today in the morning to tell me to bring you your stuff, I got quite surprised.” He didn’t seem to give it a second thought, for which I was glad. But also, what he said caught my attention. Why wouldn’t Ace let girls stay over his place? That was strange.

“No, Luffy. Nothing is going on between your brother and I.” I repeated to assure myself more than him. “He just wanted to see the video first and then we just chitchat and it got late, and he offered me to stay over as I was super tired.” Part of what I said was true. “But could you please not tell anyone, as I don’t want people to get the wrong idea, you know...” I looked down at my fingers and nervously played with them.

“Didn’t plan to tell anyone anyway.” He winked at me. We reached my place, and we turned to face each other. “I will let you know when Sanji response.” He hugged me.

“Thank you, Luffy. You are the best.” I said returning the hug. We said goodbye and I ran to my apartment as I was freezing. The first thing I did when I got inside was to turn my laptop on and sent all the files to Marco. I made myself a cup of tea to warm myself. When all the files for the video were sent to Marco I relaxed a bit. I looked the at clock and it was barely 3PM. Instead of wasting time I pulled my sleeves up and started to work on my final touches for the short-cut. I was so focused on work I didn’t realise that almost two hours had passed since I last checked my phone. I had a couple missed calls from Marco, a message from Luffy and one from Usopp. I returned the call to Marco immediately before checking the messages from Luffy and Usopp. The phone rang a few times before he picked up.

“Hey, Marco. Sorry for not retur-“ Marco interrupted me mid sentence.

“(Y/N), great job with the video. I love it and so did the guys. We will release it on Tuesday. You definitely have the talent for it, kid. Keep the good work going.” He ended the phone call so fast I couldn’t process what he just told me. I just nodded to myself before checking the messages from Luffy and Usopp.

‘Sanji said that you can use his apartment, here is his number to contact him for more info.’ I got so happy when I read Luffy’s message. I immediately texted Sanji to thank him and to ask if I could meet with him and see the apartment so I could do my floor plan. Then I moved to Usopp’s message in which he congratulated me on the video.

‘Thank you, for helping me <3’ I texted Usopp back.

I couldn’t stop myself from checking if Ace at least marked the messages as read. He didn’t. Part of me wanted to text him and ask if he was mad at me for something, but I didn’t. He was in one of his moods again. I would just need to wait until he was in the mood to talk with me again, but I’m not sure how much I would want to speak with him then. I tried to shake him off my mind, as I got back to work.

********

The gym was almost empty due the fact that it was Friday night, so most people were skipping today, so they could get ready for a night out. Law glanced at Ace, who was too focused on his bench press set. Ace was clearly disturbed today, as he hasn’t been this moody in a while.

The music was blasting in Ace’s ear as he was focused on his set, not paying attention to anything else. Last night was on repeat in his mind as he couldn’t get (Y/N) off from his mind. The things they shared, how much he had opened to her, something he had never done before with another girl. On top of it he let her sleep not only in his house but in his bed. He broke his main rule, no girls over his house. Especially his bed, as in his mind that meant letting someone in your very personal space. And Ace hated to have people not close to his heart invading it. In the morning when he woke up, he had to go to his room as he had to get dressed for the day, but he had forgotten to take some clothes the night before. He entered the room as quietly as possible and quickly grabbed the first pair of jeans and a hoodie he could see. Ace couldn’t contain himself and took a glance at (Y/N)’s sleeping form. She was sleeping peacefully all wrapped up in the bedsheets, hugging one of his pillows. Ace smiled at the sight of her. ‘Yeah, you look like the type that likes to cuddles’ he thought to himself. He cursed under his breath for even thinking that and quickly left the room. No woman before has been let this close to him. He was letting (Y/N) too much into his life. Not only this, but he has never had a cataplexy attack in front of a girl. Yes, he has had his daily narcolepsy episodes in front of girls, but never to a point where his muscles weakness. Part of him was embarrassed, but he was more concerned about the fact that she had this effect on him. On the other hand, it was good that it happened as Ace knew he was about to lose it last night. The way she wrapped her arms around him wanting him closer, knowing that she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her. God he was going to take her right there on the spot. And the moan that had left her lips when they were eating, he could listen to this for hours. He could only imagine how sweet it would sound to listen her moaning and whining under him while he has his ways with her. Whoever had his way with her must be a fool to messed it up so badly. But it didn’t mater, as Ace was not going to step over that line with her. She wasn’t a girl for a one-night stand, and he couldn’t give her what she deserved so he had to keep his distance from now on. Ace wasn’t a relationship guy, neither he planned to be anytime soon. So, for a bit he must distance himself form (Y/N) for her own good.

Law dropped the dumbbells he was using and went to where Ace was working out. He was in the middle of his set when he saw Law standing next to his bench to spot him. Ace grunted and breathed out loudly, once he finished with the set and put the barbel back. He rose from the bench sitting up, pulling his headphones on the side.

“I don’t need you to spot me.” He spat at Law.

“I can see that.” Law crossed his arms over his chest as he glanced at the added weight to the barbel. “But you kinda going to die on the spot if you fall asleep pushing 160kg, you know.” He pointed out.

“I wish I can go away that easy.”  Ace murmured before grabbing his water bottle and taking a sip.

“What’s up with you Ace?” Law face got serious and so did his tone. Ace gave him an annoyed look.

“Nothing.” He replied putting his headphones back before he laid on the bench press for another set. Ace rolled his eyes as he saw Law not moving away, but instead standing to spot him. He finished with his set and got up to add some more weight to the barbel. Law was just looking at him, wondering what got him so heated up. Adding how stubborn Ace was, Law knew that it would take him some time to make Ace tell him about what was bothering him.

“Pushing for a new personal record?” Law looked down at Ace as he loaded the weight. He didn’t get any response from Ace as the music was blasting in his ears.

When they were done with their workout before leaving the gym Law asked Ace if he was up for a drink later, even thought he was sure Ace would tell him to fuck off. Surprisingly for Law, Ace agreed. They bit each other goodbye and left the gym. After ten minutes ride Ace parked his motorbike in front of his building. He let a deep sigh once he entered his apartment and closed the door. He threw his gym bag on the floor and went straight to the bathroom. The first thing that caught his attention was the pink toothbrush he left for (Y/N) on the sink corner. He huffed and grabbed the toothbrush ready to throw it away but stopped himself for a second. ‘What if she needs it again?’ the thought crossed his mind before he had the time to assimilated it. Realising what just went thought him mind, he threw the toothbrush immediately.

“The fuck is wrong with me?” He cursed himself as he shook his head in disbelief of his own thoughts. He stripped himself from the sweaty clothes he was wearing and got in the shower. Ace adjusted the water to the coldest and let it run all over his body. His whole body tensed from the ice-cold water. He bit on his lip hard suppressing the groan that wanted to escape his lips. Looking down at his body Ace cursed under his breath again.

“What am I now? Fourteen?” He hissed as he wrapped his hand around his hard erection. “Come on, go away.” Ace whined as even the cold water wasn’t helping. He ran his hand through his wet hair. Ace closed his eyes as he squeezed his hand around his throbbing cock, letting a low grunt. He took a few deep breathes before moving his hand up and down. The thoughts of (Y/N) occupying his mind once again. This time he let the thoughts of her run through his mind. He couldn’t help but imagine her – down on her knees, looking at him from under her lashes. The way her (eyes colour) eyes would beg him to fuck her mouth. She might not be a virgin, but he would definitely need to teach her how to please him. Ace took a sharp breath just thinking of this. ‘Yes, yes I will teach you everything you need to know, doll’ a smirk appeared on his face when he thought of it. She was smart, so she would learn fast. He would make sure to teach her exactly how to wrap her pretty lips around him.

“Fuck.” Ace grunt as he threw his head back just thinking of her lips. The way they would feel kissing and wrapping around his dick. Ace propped his hand on the wall while fasting the pace around his painfully hard length. To have her, right here, right now would feel like heaven. Ace would be gentle with her, at least at first. He would let her take her time, as she would lick like a kitten the pre-cum leaking from his pink tip. Then the way she would wrap her pretty lips around it and give a twist with her tongue. She would cover it all with kisses while giving him slow stokes, preparing herself to take it. To then watch her struggle taking all of him in her pretty mouth, having to wrap her hand around what she couldn’t take. Ace would lose it then, as he wouldn’t be able to control himself anymore and just start to fuck her sweet mouth. The way he would wrap his hand around her hair, pulling and guiding her how to please him. A loud moan escaped his lips as he felt that he was getting close. The image of her, on her knees, his cock in her mouth, having her choking on it while hearing her begging whines and tears running down her eyes while he deepthroat fucks her. The more he was thinking of it the closer he was getting. If she was here, the way Ace imagined her, he would make sure to paint her face with his cum. Her pretty face, all covered with his hot cum, dripping down on her and her pretty lips. This though alone made his whole body twitched and his hips jerked as he gave himself one last stroke and cum spilled all over his hand and wall. Ace cursed loudly as he threw his head back from the feeling of release. His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as he tried to collect himself.

It took him sometime to calm himself down as he felt the cold water on his back. He quickly switched the water to a normal temperature as washed his body. Ace cursed himself again. Maybe the reason he was so attracted to (Y/N) was because he restrained himself. If he had already fucked her maybe she wouldn’t have crossed his mind ever again. He just needed to get laid that was it, and he was planning to do it tonight.

Ace got out of the shower and grabbed his towel wrapping it around his hips. When he entered the bedroom, his eyes landed on the unmade bed and his white t-shirt that he saw (Y/N) wore while sleeping. He grabbed the t-shirt, and the smell of her perfume hit him. Ace went and threw it in the laundry basket frustrated. Last thing he needed right now was a piece of clothing that smelled like her. He took his phone and looked at the time. It was already nine o’clock. Ace quickly towel dried his hair and tried to style it but gave up leaving it falling messy around his face. He put a black sweatshirt on with a dark grey pants and a belt around his waist. Grabbing his jacket and keys Ace left his place.

It took him twenty minutes to reach the place where he and Law usually hang out. The bar was very known around Grand Line. Ace entered the place and looked around for Law. He was sitting by the bar and when he saw Ace he waved at him. Ace nodded and walked to Law, taking the seat next to him. Law was wearing a white loose fit unbuttoned shirt with some dark blue pants.

“What are you drinking?” Ace asked him.

“Old fashion.” Law replied while taking a sip of his drink. Ace nodded and turned to order to the bartender who gave him a charming smile. Ace smiled at her and made his order. While making it she didn’t take her eyes off him.

“One ‘Old Fashion’” She said sultry while placing the drink in front of Ace. He just winked at her and gave her an extra tip when he paid. “Thank you, let me know if you would like something else.” She returned the winked and went away. Ace chuckled and took a sip of his drink.

“So, are you in better mood now?” Law wasted no time getting straight to the point.

“What made you think I wasn’t in a good mood earlier?” Ace turned to the side to look at Law.

“Come on, Ace. What’s with you recently? Especially today.” Law crossed his arms waiting for Ace’s respond.

“Nothing, I told you.” Ace took another sip of his drink.

“Ace I’m not buying this shit.” Law knew that something was bothering his friend, and he wasn’t planning to drop it that easy. “Is everything okay at home?” he couldn’t think of anything else that might get Ace this worked up.

“As far as I know, yeah.” Ace bluntly answered. Law rubbed his beard frowning his brows at him. “Law drop it, man. I’m... I’m fine.” Ace started to tap his fingers on his glass avoiding looking at Law. They stayed like this for a moment before Ace broke the silence. “Did you fix things with Robin?”

“Kinda.” Law murmured. Ace raised his eyebrow at him. “She wants something serious, and I’m not sure that I can give her that.” Ace snorted when he heard Law’s response. He raised the glass to his lips to take a sip of it but couldn’t contain his laughter so Ace burst out laughing. Law pushed his shoulder, making Ace look at him.

“Sorry, bro. Just...” Ace started to laugh again.

“Man, what’s so funny?” Law was so confused by Ace’s reaction.

“You two have been on and off for two years, at this point make up your minds.” Ace chuckled. “Damn, and I thought I have it bad..” He murmured under his nose.

“Wait, what?” Law raised his brows confusion. “Is this whole attitude thing because of a girl?” Ace clenched his jaw and side-eyed Law. Now it was Law’s turn to burst out laughing.

“Oh, shut up.” Ace rolled his eyes at him. Law continued to chuckle when he looked at Ace and tried to calm himself. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“It’s not the blonde girl, what was her name Savanna?”

“Samantha and no. She was just a quick fuck, even tho she hasn’t stop blowing my phone.” Ace rubbed his temples.

“Oh, oh, I have a guess.” Law smirk as Ace glanced at him. “It’s the little director, isn’t it?” The way Ace clenched his fingers around the glass told Law everything he needed to know. “Hell, I’m right, it is about (Y/N).” Just the mentioned of her name made his whole body tense. “So, care to share?” Law chuckled.

“Nothing is happening between us, so there is nothing to share. We are... just... I don’t know, not really friends let’s say acquaints.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. Don’t think I’m blind.” Law snorted. “The tension you two had on set could be felt from miles away. And the looks you were giving to the guy behind the camera...” He mocked Ace, who was clearly getting worked up all over again. “So, care to explain exactly what is going on between her and you?” Law was patiently waiting for Ace to start talking. Ace cursed under his breath before looking at his friend.

“She slept over last night.” Ace murmured. Law’s eyes widen as he heard this. That was definitely something new. “We didn’t do anything, tho. We could of but I got cataplexy attack. Which has never ever happened before with a girl.” His cheeks started to flush. “And another thing is that she listens, man. Not only listens, but she also understands me. I have opened to her about some personal stuffs can you believe it?” Ace spat; Law was carefully listening to him. “But that is not like my main problem right now...” He started to massage his temples, deep breath escaping his lips. “I know that I don’t like her, like... you know something serious as I don’t want anything serious, but at the same time I’m weirdly attracted to her, and I think it is because I restrain myself.”

“What do you mean by ‘restrain’ yourself?” Law raised his eyebrow confused.

“I can’t sleep with her.” Ace fussed. “She is so close to Luffy’s friends, and they are the same age, come on. I see all people at Luffy’s age as kids.” He took a big sip of his drink almost finishing it. “On top of it she is Shanks’ niece.” Ace added, giving Law a knowing look.

“Ace it’s just four years. Plus, she seems, well, she is quite smart girl, so I think you are the one who makes it too complicated, not her.” Law couldn’t really see the problem. When they were filming the video together it was clearly that there was some chemistry between them. “Plus, you can always be like fuckbuddies, no feelings attached just sex. Just sleep with her once, and if you continue to feel that way then get all this moody and shit.”

“She will get attached.” Ace whined. “She told me that she had slept with a guy only once, and it was bad on top of it, so basically, she is a fucking virgin.” Law nodded understanding at Ace’s statement. “And she is a very nice girl. You know, I will feel bad to just use her for one night.” He might be an asshole, but he wasn’t that big of an ass, to play with someone like (Y/N)’s feelings.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” Law was carefully studying his friend’s face.

“Distant myself for now. But this time for real, as I tried before but... never mind. I just need to get laid that’s all.” Ace explained, his eyes not leaving now the empty glass. Law decided to not say anything further. The solution was easy but Ace was stubborn, so it was pointless to give him any advice.

A few drinks later, both Ace and Law were having a good laugh; talking about the band upcoming projects, and things that both were interested in. Time flew fast and it was around midnight when something caught Ace’s attention mid-conversation. He squeezed his eyes trying to see better. His eyes landed on a girl, and she looked super familiar from the back. Was that (Y/N)? The hair was the same colour and length. She also seemed to be the same height. He hesitated for a moment before he turned to Law and told him that he would be back in a second. Ace slowly made his way to the girl. If it was (Y/N) what was he going to tell her? Why was he even going to check if it was her, when he literally told himself to keep his distance with her. It was the alcohol. Yes, he can blame it on the alcohol. And if it was her, he could just say ‘hello’ and that’s it, out of politeness. He felt his heart beating faster as he was close to approach the girl. When he stood behind her, he gently tapped her on the shoulder. She quickly turned around, and it wasn’t her. The girl flashed him a cute smile.

“Yes, can I help you?” She fluttered her lashes at Ace.

“Oh, sorry. I mistook you for someone else.” Ace smiled at her and was about to turn around and leave when she put her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, not so fast.” She flashed him a smile. “I’m Diane.”

“Ace.” He replied. Ace took a better look at her. She low-key looked like (Y/N), not as pretty, but still nice. “How is your night going Diane?” A smug smile formed on his face.

“Pretty good. Always can get better.” She bit her lip, her tone sultry. “Who were you looking for?”

“Doesn’t matter. Came across something better.” Ace saw the way her cheeks blushed. These cliché lines were always working. Not always, he knew someone who was going to roll her eyes and tell him to come up with something better. But Ace shook away the thought of (Y/N). He had her low-key doppelganger here, so it would work for the night.

“Are you alone here?” She wrapped a curl around her finger and played with it.

“I have my friend over there.” He pointed at Law. “Would you ladies mind us joining you?” Ace nodded his head and looked at the two other girls sitting with Diane, flashing them a charming smile. They all giggled and told him that they wouldn’t mind. Ace turned to look at Law who was looking at his direction. He nodded his head at Law to come and join them. Law got up and made his way to them. He introduced himself to the girls and started to chitchat with them. They were giggling and blushing at him. Law wasn’t planning on doing anything with anyone tonight as he had promised Robin to go to her place after, but still little flirting with some girls wouldn’t hurt anyone. It didn’t go unnoticed by him that the girl Ace was focused on was quite similar in looks to (Y/N). Law has been there before and done that. Trying to fill the void he was feeling with girls looking like Robin, but at the end of the day none of them were her. Law didn’t want to say anything to Ace, as he knew how his friend stands on relationships, but the whole ‘I will keep my distance’ or ‘we will just be friends’ bullshit wasn’t going to work. At the end Ace was either going to end up in the same situation as Law, or maybe worse.

Another hour passed and Law received a message from Robin, asking him where he was. That was his reminder that the night for him was over. He excused himself to the girls and went to Ace to tell him goodbye.

“You are leaving?” Ace asked surprised. His eyes were half lidded since he got way too many drinks tonight.

“Yeah, man. Robin is waiting for me.” Law patted him on the shoulder. “Take care tonight, okay?” Ace rolled his eyes at Law and waved him goodbye. Law took one last glanced at his friend before leaving.

“Wanna go to your place?” Ace smirked at Diane who was sitting in his lap. He ran his fingers up and down her shoulder and neck. She cupped his face and eagerly smacked her lips on his. Ace returned the kiss, taking her lower lip between his teeth biting it. The kiss quickly grew hot as Ace’s hands started to roam all over her body. “Should I take this as an ‘yes’?” He whispered in her ear. Goosebumps ran all over her body and she just nodded her head. She called an uber and they quickly left.

Her hair might have not been as soft to touch as (Y/N)’s, neither her skin smelled as sweet as hers, and the way her eyes were looking at his didn’t spark any flame in him. But she was just for the tonight. And she had similar look to her. He didn’t even need to look at her face. The moment they laid on her bed, Ace turned her on her stomach, bending her over. And something dark took over him. He did care for the pleasure of the girls he was sleeping with. Always taking his time with them, making them feeling good first. But tonight, he was selfish. This girl wasn’t (Y/N). She was a cheap replica, nothing close to what he would feel or do to her if his doll was here. Even her moans didn’t sound anything close to hers. But again, this wasn’t the biggest problem. The biggest problem was the fact that (Y/N) wasn’t leaving his mind. And this was something that has never ever happened before. Somehow, she had found her way to get under his skin and he needed to burn her from there as soon as possible.

next chapter ->

END NOTE: I really hope you guys enjoyed it. I know that the 'smut' part wasn't anything wow, but I'm just testing the waters with it. At first it was totally different and it wasn't planned to be for Ace, but now I'm happy that I decided to write it for him, as in a way it suits his character more. Please let me know what your thoughts about it and what could I change in the future for when I'm writing a smut (u can either comment or message me). Also I felt so awkward writing it, but is it a fanfic if there is no smut in it? Feel free to comment and reblog, much love <333

[asirensrage]

Title: One More Step Fandom: Tokyo Revengers Rating: Explicit Pairing: Izana x Unnamed/Undescribed Female OC Word count: 2072 Warnings: Dark!fic. Violence. Abuse. Threats. Gaslighting. Suicide attempt. Suicidal thoughts. Mention of "being shared". Seriously gaslighting. Implied future infantilization. Not a happy ending. Unbeta’d. *warnings are not exhaustive* Summary: There is only so far that you can corner an animal before it lashes out. Including her. Prompt: "Even if you got rid of me, you'd miss me. Admit it, you'd miss me."

Notes: based off of the prompt found here by @seaside-writings. Takes place in the future where Izana is controlling Toman (with Manila!Mikey). This was a lot of fun to write and I've enjoyed the reactions I've gotten so far, which has mainly been shock and horror lol. I hope you enjoy it.

**HEED THE WARNINGS**

She’s straddling his chest, knife poised on the base of his throat as her knees keep his arms pinned. His wide violet eyes meet hers and what pisses her off the most is the complete lack of fear she sees in them. She feels like she’s been running a marathon, the end finally in reach if she can just take one more step. That’s all she needs. One more step. 

She doesn't know how it got to this point. 

She can look back, regret bringing a sharp clarity to actions that she was blinded to before it was too late. Before he held her by the throat, forced her to face everything that he was and that he offered and refused to let go. She had been bordered by his men, one way or another. Closed off from anything that could reach out to pull her back out of the open water where he lay waiting to devour. 

She can see every step that led her into his trap, even the ones that were taken in haste because she was forced from behind. The man under her held her softly, sweetly and kissed her deep enough that she could taste the blood on his tongue. Her revulsion made him laugh, made him all the more determined that she remain chained to his side. Every part of her was broken apart, piece after piece, and she has been trying to glue herself back into place. Back into the woman she was before she ever crossed paths with Izana. 

He stares at her patiently, not even trying to fight. As if he knows it’s inevitable. 

It is inevitable. 

There is only so far that you can corner an animal before it lashes out and women are the more deadly of the species. 

“I thought you were going to kill me,” he says lightly, eyes never leaving hers. His gaze strips her bare. It always has. He lured her with promises and idealizations of a home, with the threat of revenge against those who have wronged her. 

“I want to see the life leave your eyes myself,” she says, her voice barely more than a whisper with her panting. 

“Even if you got rid of me, you’d miss me. Admit it. You’d miss me.” He stares as if waiting for the answer he knows she’ll give. Not anymore. She refuses. To admit to missing him means that she would miss the way he cradled her to him, the way he held her throat in his hand and threatened to kill her, to throw her to the wolves. To miss him would be to admit that she liked everything he had done for her, to her, and the way he’d allow select few access to her cunt while he fucked them. He was almost always the one fucking. Always the one in control. 

It would be admitting that the pieces she was putting herself back together with were in his image. Not hers. 

She presses the knife a little harder and he doesn’t even flinch. “Never.”

“Liar.” 

He moves. Her weight isn’t enough to stop him, despite her efforts. The knife goes flying as she’s forced onto her back, an inversion of seconds ago. Her feet kick out, arms scratching at his until he uses his hold against her neck to lift her head just enough to slam it back down onto the ground. It makes her dazed. Enough that she stops struggling for a moment as her senses realign. 

“Admit it.” He orders again. “Tell your king the truth.” 

“Not my ki–” her voice is cut off with the pressure of his hand tightening. His gaze hardens at the response. 

“Stop lying.” He slams her head down again, harder this time and her vision goes black for a second before the pain blossoms. It makes her stomach roll but if she throws up now, she’ll choke until he decides she deserves to breathe. If he decides. 

Tears build up in her eyes, a response to the pain. The pressure on her throat releases enough that she can gasp in the air she desperately needs. 

He strokes her cheek gently as she coughs, tears falling out of the corners of her eyes. “You make things so hard on yourself,” he says softly. As if he hadn’t just nearly killed her. He brushes hair out of her eyes. 

“Iz-Iza-” she coughs. His grip tightens again in warning. She closes her eyes, willing to face death for what she’s done. She should have been faster. Why did she hesitate? After everything he’s done, she would have been doing the world a favour. 

“Try again.”

“Si–” his grip tightens and she chokes for a second, coughing once she’s granted air again. “-y king,” she gasps more than says it. A feeble attempt to keep his violence at bay. She’s seen enough of it. Felt enough. 

His grip loosens, back to the softness he imitates. “How long must we play this game? How long until it finally sinks in that you and I are intertwined?” She knows what he’s not saying. She would never be separated from him. He had dug himself into her bones, leaving the remnants of the girl she was into the thing he’s formed. 

Until there’s nothing left, is what she wants to say but she can’t. The words lodge themselves in her throat. Tears slip down the sides of her face as she stares up at the man who calls himself a king. He’s beautiful, ethereal with the casual violence he carries. 

He stares at her a moment longer, the corner of his lips twitching before he nods, seemingly satisfied at her inability to argue. She wants to. She does. She just can’t seem to pull the words out of her chest, to breathe life into a promise that she’ll succeed next time. A promise she’s made repeatedly and never fulfilled. 

She feels…tired. Emotionally wrought and wrung out. There’s a slight ringing in her ears that she can almost ignore. Her gaze slips from his face, staring at the art piece on the wall that he bought her after catching her staring at it too long. He hung it in a place of honour, front and centre as if to remind her that no matter what they’ve done, what he’s done, he’s taken care of her. Isn’t that what’s important? 

His fingers tighten on her chin before he turns her so that her eyes meet his again. He kisses his teeth lightly, another admonishment at her choices. She watches his gaze drift over her face. “You need to stop hurting yourself,” he says almost gently. It sounds like he actually cares, as if she’s only fallen and he hasn’t tried her kill her. Quid pro quo.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” he says in the same tone. “That you never learn, do you? No matter how many lessons I teach, you stay as stubborn as a child.” He leans back slightly, hips pressing closer against hers as he pulls her slightly closer so they remain connected. “Is that what you are? A child?” He stares as if waiting for a response she can barely think of giving. She tries to shake her head but the motion makes her stomach roll and it feels as if he’s finally knocked something loose in it. She probably needs a hospital. 

“Is that how I need to treat you?” 

“N-no,” she croaks out. “Please.”

“Please what?”

“I-I’m s-sorry,” she forces out. She has to apologize. There’s no choice. If she doesn’t, he won’t kill her, but he’ll force her into another role that she knows will be worse than being a woman at his side. She can only imagine the way his men's faces will light up in amusement if he tells them to treat her as a child. They like humiliation too much when it’s not theirs. 

“Your words are worthless to me,” he tells me. “But I can be merciful. As long as you held the knife at my throat, you could never take that final step, could you?” 

She swallows the lump growing in her throat. No. Something held her back and she hates every part of herself for it. 

“No,” he answers for her. “Like I said, you’d miss me. Miss this.” He yanks her closer, moving her ass to rest on his knees, to keep her hips pressed against his. A parody of a mating press. One she’s been forced into before even if it never took. They’re consistent, at least, in ensuring she’s protected from that. 

Her gaze drifts again. She doesn't mean it but she can’t stay focused. Her head hurts and her throat feels scrubbed raw from his hold. She blinks and it feels like it takes longer than ever before she’s forced back to look at Izana. Will he mourn her if she dies here? Will he regret everything he’s done to her or will he only regret that it wasn’t on his terms? That’s how she should go. While she still has the ability to. She should wait until she’s left alone again and throw herself away, a final act of defiance in refusal to give him the satisfaction of choosing her death. It should be a choice she gets to make. Unless she hesitates like she did with a knife at his throat. Always unable to make that last move. 

He bends forward to brush his lips against hers. It’s soft, nearly tender and a complete contrast to his behaviour. She could lose herself in it, in the illusion he offers every time. It’s always so tempting to. It somehow feels so much more poignant after the things he does. She wants to soothe him, to make him offer this softness more and more until she’s drowning in it. Even if he’s the one pulling her under. 

“Izana,” she breathes into his mouth. 

He hums, smiling slightly at the submission. “Such a pretty thing like this, aren’t you?” He brushes her hair back. “You always are.” 

“My...my head hurts,” she whimpers. 

“You need to be more careful,” he says. “Such a clumsy thing, aren’t you?” He sighs before getting up, rocking back on his heels and standing. “You need me, even if you’re not willing to say it aloud. We both know it.” He offers his hand to her. 

She stares at it for a long moment, trying to will her body to work the way it’s supposed to, the way he expects it to. She’s been buried in his expectations, slowly suffocating under their weight. Can you be buried and broken apart? She thinks so. She feels like she is. The thing that emerges from the rubble is nothing she recognizes but he looks at her in satisfaction that makes part of her preen. It makes her sick.

She doesn’t know where she gets the strength, the courage, to shove her foot into his knee instead of taking his hand. He’s broken her into pieces, reforming her into what he wants, but the core of it is still her. She is still the woman she once was, even if she’s not the same. 

He swears at her, a hiss filled with warning and anger. She scrambles to stand but the concussion he’s left on her makes it difficult. She’s moving too quickly. Her stomach rolls and she crashes into the couch before she catches herself. The balcony lies before her. A beacon of release. A choice she can make. 

She runs.

Her fingers brush the cool glass before an arm reaches around her shoulder. A hand grabs her throat, circling it with an ease of familiarity before she’s sent flying back. Away from the balcony. Away from her chance. Still too slow, even if she didn’t hesitate. 

She slides across the floor, crashing into the wall across from it. The impact is jarring, sight going blank as her head rings until she’s folding over to throw up on the hard floor. Something’s broken. She can feel it in her arm, but she can’t focus. Can’t breathe through the nausea and taste of bile.

Izana walks towards her. She doesn’t have to look to know he’s disappointed. She can feel his anger even if he doesn’t show it. Instead, she hears him sigh. She curls up tighter, apologies worthless even if she tried. 

“A child it is then.” 

tr tag: @mitsuwuyaa @blackfire2013 @bleach-your-panties @reiners-milkbiddies

also: @scythegal and @m-ilkiee Network: @pixelcafe-network

I’m not tagging anyone else lol

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Fifteen

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Sorry sorry sorry for how long it's taken for me to update!! Had a lot on and then I got real sick. Hope this is an alright update though:) Continues on from the last scene where they were at the cinema!

Enjoy seeing the articles I tried to make too lmao, they're there not too far down after the first couple paragraphs. Idk what I was thinking w that one, but it felt necessary after the long wait!

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy @helloitsme1223 @geekchic48

Masterlist

It was Saturday, and Saturday typically meant that the weekend had finally come. And both of those things had yet to occur whilst I’d been staying in Detroit. Which, in truth, wasn’t the only thing to throw me completely off my game this morning.

Although honestly, it was a really big change.

Rosie wasn’t around yet. Apparently Saturday’s were sacred days within the Mathers household, seeing as the pre-teen liked to sleep in on the mornings she had off from school, which also meant that Marshall got to finally have a lie-in. Or, at least it seemed that way when I’d decided to venture from the confines of my room around about nine, after having had a brief breakdown over everything I’d woken up to.

The media was in meltdown mode.

Every news outlet from here to Beijing was talking about the pictures that had been captured last night in the car park to the theatre, as well as the one’s I’d taken with that particular girl outside of the women’s bathroom. It seemed that other fans had connected all the dots in the time between my head hitting the pillow and now. 

I had zero idea as to what I was meant to do about it all. My phone was blowing up with notifications from every account that I held, as well as friends and even some family members I hadn’t spoken to since I’d told them where they could shove it the last time they’d come sniffing round looking for a payout. 

It was the most nauseating feeling, believing that you’d lost complete control over a situation.

But it was just as I’d gathered up the courage to go knock on Em’s bedroom door that my phone rang once again. Only this time, it was one of the names I’d been hoping to see. 

“Elia, you there?”

A shaky breath escaped me as I pressed my phone closer to my ear, hastily turning on my heel to head down the stairs. 

“Mila.” I exhaled, but even I could hear the anxiety that lined my voice and it wasn’t because Mila and I had barely spoken since the whole argument we’d had over Lottie. No, this was down to me knowing that things had to be really fucked up because my manager had shared that same wavering tone. “I don’t know what to do. Everything– it’s all just blown up in my face.”

There was a long pause which followed my clumsy reply, I used it to slip out of the back garden door to escape the sudden confining feel the house had started to give me. Which seemed so stupid in hindsight, what with how big it was, but that thought alone allowed me to take another deep breath. 

I shivered at the cold that overwhelmed Detroit in the early throes of winter but didn’t care enough to head back inside to grab a cardigan or even a pair of shoes. My mind honed in on the way my life seemed to be crumbling piece by piece, first with Lottie and her dad, then that whole back and forth thing with Marshall, and now this.

“It’s not as bad as you think.”

Rolling my eyes at the answer Mila gave, I could only huff out a mirthless laugh, stressed beyond belief. 

“Yeah, it’s not like my face is plastered over every gossip rag across the world– oh wait, it is.” I sniped back, “And they’re all painting me out to be Marshall’s next big fling, and if not that, then some fucking groupie. Like I’m not a nominated artist too, as though all I am is someone to mooch off of his fame.”

Mila sighed softly, even after my heated retort, and I could hear it clearly over the rustle of leaves as well the birds that seemed to be chirping in the distance. I tried to let them ground me. “I didn’t mean it like that. It probably does look pretty bad from your end–”

I cut her off with a scoff– so much for trying for a bit of calm. “Bad? Mila, bad would have been me spotted leaving Detroit and people conspiring over why I was here in the first place. Not this.” I dragged a tense hand through my hair, “Em is gonna flip his shit when he sees everything.”

She sighed, again, and I could only rub tiredly at my eyes. “Babe, listen to me. You’ve not ever really had any publicity like this,” Mila started, and before I could think to lash back at that remark, she was already beating me to the punch, “And no, before you say anything, not like that. I know that you don’t want anything out of this whole fiasco, believe me the amount of times I’ve had to suffer through just because your ego wouldn’t let you take anything for free is insufferable. But anyway, I simply meant in the way that you’ve not really had many big knocks or hits like this throughout the press. Sure, your family and your background’s been brought up a lot, but babe, those are just conversation starters for you now, it sort of was back then too. This is all just scarier to you because it’s new.”

I had to take a second to really hear Mila’s words, for them to sink and settle before I could analyse them. In a way, she wasn’t completely wrong. I could at least admit that. Didn't mean that I hadn’t faced my fair share of backlash though, just maybe not on this level? And not over someone I was supposedly dating either, my brain unhelpfully supplied.

I closed my eyes, silently wishing for a cigarette I didn’t have, and then unclenched my jaw.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” I confessed to her quietly, then shivered when another harsh wind blew through the garden. I wrapped an arm around myself, to shelter me from the cold air or how exposed I felt, I didn’t know.

Mila stayed silent too, until I heard a large intake of breath and the sound of a door closing on the other side. “Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re going to talk to Marshall, you’re going to figure out what it is you want, not just him or his team.” She added as a forethought, knowing me far too well. “Then the pair of you, you and him, can decide how and where you want to take this.”

I exhaled slowly and watched as my breath clouded the air, it made me wonder how cold it might have been over in London. “Right.”

Mila continued on, her familiar lilt taking back the weariness which had homed it minutes earlier, “I mean it’s not like anything’s actually happened, if you want to you two can just ignore it easy, wait for this all to blow over. It’s just gossip.”

My eyes widened and I stilled at her words.

But I must’ve been quiet far too long though, because Mila called my name and suddenly I was forcing myself to blink as I attempted to swallow back the memories of that kiss, of him holding my hand with all the care in the world. 

“Right,” I repeated again, then cursed the way my voice cracked on the vowel.

Mila caught it right away and I felt rather than heard her internalise exactly what that could possibly mean, “You haven’t done anything– right?”

My mouth worked over words that wouldn’t quite come out and then winced when I heard my manager drop the phone to curse heatedly in Spanish.

It took a long minute before Mila had seemingly calmed herself enough to return to the call, time in which I spent worrying my knuckle between my teeth and wondering if everything that had happened with Em was even worth mentioning. If it mattered enough to him for me to voice it now. 

“How long have I been telling you that you need to get back out there, to meet somebody and have some fun? I’m glad you took my advice, really, but I didn’t quite mean wrangle the biggest old-school rapper into your bed whilst holidaying in his mansion!”

I let my head fall into the hand not holding my phone and pinched at the bridge of my nose. I didn’t want to regret it, the things that had happened with Marshall, but Mila was sort of right. What had I really expected to happen between the two of us? He was a Dad, more famous than anyone could hope to be, and a tad bit older… Okay, a fair bit older– a decade, sue me. Hollywood had seen worse.

That wasn’t even it though, how had I yet to consider what the media, the press, the fans would think of it all? I supposed I’d pretty much found out.

“I didn’t sleep with him.”

Mila made an odd sort of noise at my admission which sounded tinny through the speaker, “Don’t lie to me now! Those photos don’t offer much, I’ll give you that, but babe, there was some sort of connection there.”

I fish mouthed again. 

Mila didn’t seem to note the silence, “People are in actual awe over the look one picture managed to capture on his face! There’s no way you haven’t got that man wrapped around your finger.”

Blinking, I tried to recall what image she could possibly be talking about. I hadn’t seen anything of the sort. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Mils. Nothing like that has happened. It was just–” My mouth felt dry, the sort of dry you’d experience after being lost in a desert for days or just swallowed a spoonful of flour.

“Just what?” Mila prodded.

And I forced myself to finish my sentence, stare caught on the dampness that clung to the soles of my feet, “A kiss.”

–

I had a list now. 

Of tasks to complete, one of which warned me to stay off all social media for my own good. Mila’s orders, not my own. But still, I couldn’t quite part with my phone even as I stepped back through the garden door into the kitchen, shivering at the rapid change in temperature and the sick feeling of anxiety that welled inside of me. 

Even with that though, I noticed how the house now seemed to buzz, in a way which had me figuring that I was no longer the only occupant awake. So I swallowed back the lump of worry that sat heavy in my throat and made to trail my way further inside, ignoring the slight chill of tile that followed my feet. 

I found him stood at the very top of the stairs with Rosie hanging off his hip, the silliest of grins plastered across her face which only appeared to brighten upon seeing me. “El!” She called out in excitement before she turned to fix her father with a ‘told you so’ glare, “See, she is awake!”

Marshall rolled his eyes at the rebuttal, but did evidently blow out a huffed chuckle in turn, choosing to let his daughter slip down his side and out of the captive hold he’d had her in for my supposed sake. He shook his head at her before he then turned to me, the exasperated look he’d gifted her disappeared the moment he saw my face. “You good?” He asked me, brow furrowing as Z peered between the pair of us.

“Where’s your phone?” Is all I answered him with.

His expression deepened at the nonanswer, but he scratched his head in thought before he recalled, “Chargin’ downstairs, I think. Died when we got home.”

Home, home, home.

I realised, not for the first time, that I’d taken to thinking of it that way too. Calling it London and not home each time it got brought up.

Swallowing once more, I felt another wave of nausea overwhelm me. Rosie’s head tilted in confusion as she quietly made her way down the staircase, hand sliding over the wooden rail. “I–” I tried, but fumbled for the right words to say. If there even were any. I let go of another breath, “You should go take a look.”

Marshall greeted my words with a look of reservation but did move to step down off the landing, making it to the bottom just as Rosie crowded me, her smaller figure slotting into my side with ease. I allowed a hand to come up and cradle the top of her head, hoping that whatever transpired from this wouldn’t sour things enough to send me back to London early.

And why was that my only hope? Instead of the way this could all impact me and my career, or the people around Marshall?

I didn’t move to follow Em as he made his way into the kitchen, socked feet padding over the tiled floor, much preferring the warmth that radiated from Z as I fought not to worry at my knuckles once more. I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to bear witness to his reaction. 

“You’re freezing.” 

The words caught me by surprise and so I blinked away from where I’d just been staring off into the distance, then peered down at the girl whose arms were wound around me. Rosie had her head tilted back, chin resting on the curve of my arm as she waited for an explanation. 

“Sorry, just stepped outside for a minute,” I apologised to her whilst simultaneously answering the unasked question. It was subconscious, the action to rub a gentle hand up and down her arm in hopes to warm the pair of us up a tad, and Z countered her previous words by burrowing in closer. 

“Are you leaving then?” 

That next question immediately had me frowning, wiping away all the previous doubts that had just been running rampant through my mind. 

“No, not yet.” I assured her softly, peering down at her once again. Her face was half-hidden, blonde hair mussed by sleep, and in that moment she looked so much younger to me. “Why you asking, hoping to get rid of me?” I teased sweetly, hoping that the method wouldn’t send her skittering into her shell and instead give me something of an honest answer.

The girl shook her head against my arm, then shrugged, “Just, you looked sad.”

A sad smile slowly eased over my features at that and I couldn’t help the way I squeezed her tighter. “Busy morning, I think.” I said in comfort, then thought about my next words, “But even if I was sad, doesn’t mean I’d just pack up and leave. Me and you, we’ve bonded, gonna have a hard time getting rid, okay?”

I pinched her side playfully with that, a move that had her squeaking and tripping over her feet to get away from my attack whilst still staying plastered to my side. “Don’t! You’re actually the worst!”

Laughing as she dissolved into giggles too, I relented on the tickling. And it was just as I went to reply that a sound had my head snapping up and over towards the kitchen doorway, heart stilling in my chest at the sight of Marshall stood there, phone in hand, his face void of any emotion.

“We need to talk.”

Rosie appeared to be all too aware of the sudden tension that dragged between us then, as well as the coil of nerves which straightened my spine, because she let her arms slip from my waist and took her hand in mine, squeezing ever so as she turned to look up at me. Obviously confused, she had no words to offer but the sentiment was clear anyway, she cared enough to stand against her Dad without even knowing what was going on.

It threw me completely.

Marshall seemed to catch on to the silent protest too, his blank expression flickering with evident surprise before he managed to unclench his hand from around his phone and drag it over the top of his head. He slumped, the ridgid stress he’d just been wearing melting ever so slightly. “We just gone talk, Z. She ain’t goin’ nowhere, I swear it’s work stuff. Something happened and now we gotta work out how we gone fix it, baby. That’s all.”

Z stared long and hard back at Marshall and the man met her eyes dead on, showing her he only meant the truth. His words seemed to appease some part of her, I deemed, enough to have her tightening her hold on my hand once more before she reluctantly pulled away. 

I only wished that they’d had the same effect on me.

“That mean we’re not having pancakes then?” She wondered as she trailed across the hallway to head towards the kitchen, Em’s shoulders dropped slightly when she approached and he moved to run a hand through her hair.

“Promise is a promise. Jus’ have to wait a little longer, cool?” He answered, gazing down at her before he finally allowed her to slip by after she’d given him a nod. It was with that in which he turned to face me again and I had no idea what was going to go down, let alone how he was going to react. So when he silently gestured his head off to the side, I could only force my feet into following behind him.

We ended up in a small office just off of the living room, one I hadn’t really been in before now and that was decorated sparsely enough to ensure that no one else did either, at least not often.

Marshall took perch at the desk in there, large and mahogany, and leaned across it to start up the computer monitor stationed on its top. I found myself trailing after him, shuffling awkwardly on a dark rug for a second over where to sit before I just rolled my eyes at myself and moved around the desk to sit on its corner, uncaring for the way Marshall’s brows lifted in slight surprise. Because honestly, if we were going to do this then I wanted to see what the fuck the media was rioting over too, and how was I meant to do exactly that from the upholstered cushion sat on the desks opposing side?

He didn’t comment on it, though his eyes did trail over me for a split second before the screen flickered through the usual start up and login. I watched him type in his password, noting how he didn’t much seem to mind me peeking, before my eyes flitted back down to his face, taking in the way the monitor's light flickered over his skin and how his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip.

I wrung my fingers together in a way that would occupy my mind, mouth pursing at the sight of the slightly reddened knuckles I’d abused earlier. My stare must have caught Marshall’s attention too because I startled a tad when he reached out to pause my fidgeting, gaze lingering on the raised skin before the pad of his thumb moved to soothe it. 

Suddenly my tongue felt too big for my mouth and all I could do was stare before his startled gaze flickered up to meet me. It almost appeared as though he hadn’t even realised he’d done it. 

“Z���s okay, right?” I found myself asking him as I cleared my throat after he’d withdrawn his hand.

His sniff filled the silence as his arm jumped over to grab the mouse, now focused on the screen. “She um,” He coughed lightly, the click of the keys filling his tense pause, “She gets a little weary about shit like that, I guess. People leaving. Had a lot of ‘em come in and out of her life, figure it fucked with her a bit.” Marshall admitted gruffly, purposely paying attention to the computer now instead of meeting my eye. 

I continued to watch him though, content to wait. My patience earned me a little more.

“Thought she’d grown outta it though, you know? Used to cry for her mom when she’d drop her off, or when I took her to school. Shit was always worse when I had to tour. Couple years back, she even got upset when Maria, our cleaning lady, moved States. Didn’t come outta her room for days.” He shrugged lightly as he recalled it, acting as though it didn’t much bother him anymore, but I could tell that it was eating away at him still, how much he blamed himself for Rosie’s struggle. “Figure she likes you enough that it’s sort of– I dunno.” He sighed, then waved it all off, desperate to move on it seemed, “You know what, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”

I wanted to sigh then too, because how could he think that I’d allow that to just slide?

“I’m here for her too, you know.” I heard myself say after a second or two had passed and kept myself from looking over at him to garner his reaction to that particular statement. This was meant to be work. I was just here to work. Though, that reminder had long since grown old. “I get it, being scared to attach yourself to new people in fear that they'll hurt you by leaving too. And Rosie, she’s not messed up for feeling that way, it’s just a coping mechanism. One a lot of kids experience–”

Em scoffed at that and my eyes instantly snapped over to find him shaking his head at me.

I narrowed my eyes a tad, but not unkindly or in defence, just a little perplexed. 

“It’s true. Sure, they might not all have had a childhood like hers or mine, or even yours.” I acquiesced, “But even the kids who have that apple pie type life and grow up with cookie cut families can still be scared about those they love leaving. Like because their Dad works abroad a lot so they don’t see much of him, or how someone forgot to pick them up this one time and made them wait so now they’re fucked up forever.” 

I smiled at the small laugh that escaped from Marshall at that, probably thinking over how normal that had probably been for him as a kid. I got it. “Mind’s weird, man. Kids are adaptable, but they get just as scuffed up as the rest of us. Z’s the same, but she’ll figure it out.”

“Or, jus’ do what you did and hold onto it so tight that people have to fight their way into her life.” Em countered easily, earning an audible gasp from me before he was smirking away and reaching out to poke a finger into my knee, assuring me that it was all in jest, “And don’t call me man, that shit’s weird.”

“Why not? What’s wrong with man?” I protested, grinning now as I started to pester him, “We’re homies, aren’t we? Buddies? Brothers?”

I cackled when he reached up to crowd a hand over my mouth, shaking his head all the while, even as I shimmied to try and escape his onslaught.

“What about bud?” I asked him from over the top of his hand the second I could, trying to steer my head away as I swatted him with my foot in retaliation, “Or dude? Hey, how about bro? Bro’s a good one!”

“Elia.” Marshall warned in a low tone once he finally caught my wrists in his hands, stilling me completely. Though I could see the tiny beginnings of his smile.

My eyes flashed upwards to meet his when he stood up from the desk’s chair, “Yeah?” I only continued to push, hoping that it would get me somewhere. Where though? I had no idea.

“You talk too much.”

My smile was far too smug.

“First time I've ever been told that.” I rebuffed, letting myself lean a little further into his hold.

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

Humming, my eyes flickered between his own. “What do you want me to call you then?”

Marshall stared back at me unblinkingly for a long second, before his gaze dropped to my mouth then away again. “Guess that’s jus’ another thing we can go ahead and figure out.”

[canonicallyobserving911]

My theory about "Brad" for episode 8x8

In a recent post (linked here), I indicated I would reveal "My Theory" regarding the reason why I believe the character "Brad Torrence" is still around this late in season 8 and here it is.

Full disclosure: Initially, I didn't have a problem with Brad because Bobby was working as the tech advisor for the TV show "Hotshots" and I thought he was interesting. Also, after 8x1, I posted that I hoped him and Bobby could be friends since Bobby hasn't had anyone to hang out with outside of the 118 since Michael left in season 5. But my opinion of him has changed because he should be gone and I thought he would be once Bobby went back to the 118 in 8x4. He's still there taking up screentime from the mains and I don't like it 🙄. Even though I'll be glad when he's gone, I've still provided a fair and balanced assessment of his character.

On Friday, I posted my review of episode 8x7 "Hotshots" (linked here) and earlier this week I posted about my expectations for 8x8 "Wannabes". After rewatching 8x7, I noticed a common theme between Bobby's and Athena's storylines and it was centered around preparation for their retirements with Bobby dealing with Brad, a fake firefighter and Athena working with Sparks, a rookie police officer.

Before I delve into this, I need to make something crystal clear! These are my interpretations and observations regarding what could happen in episode 8x8 and even though it's possible some might not agree, it's ok if they don't because two differences of opinion can coexist. I'm basing my analysis off things that happened in episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 and 7 along with the stills that were released for episode 8.

Let's get started.

At the beginning of season 7, I did a post about the way the show was setting everything up for Bobby and Athena to begin their retirement arcs (linked here) but something happened (probably during the three-week hiatus between 7x5 and 7x6) that changed their storylines. When season 8 started, they were and still are living in an apartment, they're looking for a home and once again, Athena was in peril during the opening disaster. At the time it seemed like neither of them would be slowing down but the "cracks" in their communication were shown again and they've been present throughout their marriage (especially in season 4 when they argued about not talking to one another and it was about their retirement). They don't talk about the important things and it was even more evident in 8x7 when Athena told Hen that she told Bobby she didn't want to walk around with a cane. IMO, they're setting up their retirement arcs again but this time they're inserting others (guest stars) to assist with the development (which is unnecessary to me especially since the main cast is large enough which means they could utilize the people who are already there. I mean HELLO Buck's right there but I digress).

After rewatching 8x7, the common theme I found between Bobby and Brad and Athena and Sparks was that both Brad and Sparks were inexperienced, hot heads who wanted power and they were aiming to use firefighting and police work to get it. Brad is an actor playing the role of a fire captain on a hit TV show that contributes to the LAFD while Sparks was a rookie cop (who Athena kept addressing as a "probie" instead of a "rookie" and I think that was done on purpose for Brad's storyline). Brad and Sparks were/are impressed with Bobby's and Athena's work and they admire them.

Athena - Sparks did his homework and learned everything he could about her including the number of arrests she'd made and her commendations along with all of her other accolades.

Bobby - Brad told Bobby to his face in 8x1 that he was going to study him and in 8x2, he suggested Bobby do a bootcamp in the mountains or at his home in Malibu with him and his friends so he could learn how to be a fire captain.

Sparks and Brad have a lot of similarities; however the major difference is Sparks is young and he doesn't have a LOT OF LIFE EXPERIENCE (Sound familiar? It should since that's what Bobby told Buck in 6x1 when Buck wanted to be interim captain). Even though Brad is older, he's an asshat and he's also a reckless manchild (Bobby's description of him in 8x7) who will likely get someone hurt and he seems like a womanizer (Sound familiar? It should since that's how Buck USED to be when he first started at the 118.) He's been married 5 times and in the stills; it seems like he's flirting with a woman during that water rescue call.

These two guest characters have a lot of similarities with 25-year-old probie Buck and I believe that was done on purpose. During one of OS's Entertainment Weekly Q and A responses, someone asked, "In 9-1-1 s8 was Brad the British actor a reference to you being a British actor" and he answered, "Yes! Well, not like based on anything but I think he is an "homage" to me." The word "Homage" means "to show respect or honor to someone or something." Therefore, I believe my theory has merit since Callum Blue the actor who plays Brad Torrence is supposed to be an "Homage" to OS.

I've included a quick video below of Brad's interactions for two reasons, one, I didn't feel like making the GIFs for them and two, I think when the things a person says can be heard as opposed to reading them, it provides more context.

It's evident that Brad is mesmerized by Bobby's and Buck's father/son relationship and before 8x7 aired, I completed a post that included the way Brad wants to be like Buck and how IMPRESSED he was by Buck's and Bobby's heroics during the opening airplane disaster (linked here).

At the end of 8x8, Brad said he talked to the chief and had the show put his character in a coma so that he could "job shadow" Bobby but in the stills for the episode, he's wearing full turnout gear with a name on the back. I found this to be problematic for two reasons. First, Brad is NOT a firefighter, therefore he shouldn't be wearing any 118 or firefighter gear period. Second, the turnout coat he's wearing has a name on the back of it. Now, it's unclear if he borrowed it or if it's his but the last name is "Boothe" and since his actor name is "Brad Torrence" it made me wonder if that's his real last name.

FTR, job shadowing means a person is supposed to observe someone while they're doing their job. It doesn't mean "participating" and they shouldn't be dressed to look like they're part of the team but Brad is and it's going to be a cluster f~ck.

Why is this a problem?

It's a problem for him to be wearing turnout gear because he should be standing off to the side without getting involved. Bobby's captain of the 118 which means Brad should have a notepad and an ink pen instead of standing next to him. Since he's wearing 118 gear, someone will easily mistake him for being a real firefighter and reminder, in 8x3, he lied to the soccer player and claimed he was one even though he isn't.

Also, during the Metro Dispatch fire in 5x16, Eddie was still a firefighter but he wasn't with the 118 and when Bobby told him to grab some turnouts, THERE WASN'T A NAME ON THE BACK OF THE JACKET.

Therefore, how is it that Brad "an actor who plays a fire captain" is wearing full turnout gear with a name on the back when he hasn't even gone through the academy to become a real firefighter?

In the above BTS stills, it seems like Brad's flirting with a victim and the statement about not dating someone they meet on a call has been spoken numerous times since Eddie said it in 6x15. Since Brad's not a firefighter, he doesn't know that and he appears to be fascinated with the attention he's getting from the people who recognize him. Therefore, it seems like he's going to hookup with someone from a call and it's likely to cause problems with the team and the LAFD.

While I was making GIFs and the video for this post, I noticed something from episode 8x3 that I didn't see before. After Athena landed the airplane and the emergency escape slide inflated, the spotlight was on Brad for about 3 seconds and he was standing there all alone. Then the camera showed Buck and Brad standing next to each other and I don't believe that was a coincidence.

Here's my theory... I believe Brad is there so that he can become a "Probie" and Bobby will be the one who has to make a decision at the end of the episode about if he wants him to be part of the 118. The interviews all indicate that Brad will be there, he's going to cause chaos and he's supposed to have a conversation with Eddie that will be life changing and I think it'll revolve around Brad asking Eddie what made him want to become a firefighter. TM (showrunner) said in an interview that their conversation will revolve around something that has to do with being an "All American" (I couldn't find the quote but I remember reading it) and based on Brad's propensity to want to be like Buck and that he does in fact have "daddy issues", it appears he wants to work with Bobby so that he can aspire to be like him. This guy has to be at least 45 years old or older so his daddy issues should be resolved but that's my opinion.

Brad wants to be like Buck so he can become a firefighter and like I said in a previous post, he was impressed by Buck's and Bobby's dynamic. Everyone knows Bobby is Buck's found dad and they've been working together for so long that Bobby didn't have to tell Buck what he needed while they were preparing to shutdown the I-110. Brad watched all of it and he called Buck, "Bobby's boy."

I don't know how long Brad will be around but based on everything that's happened so far, it seems like he could be part of the 118 at least until the end of 8B the same way Jonah was there until the end of 5B and he didn't leave until the real reason he was there had been revealed.

Do I think Brad is dangerous? No, I don't believe he is... at least not in the sense of him trying to capture someone and hurt them so he can be captain of the 118 or anything. But I do believe his reckless behavior is going to get someone hurt or they'll experience an NDE because of his actions and those someone's will likely be Buck or Eddie and/or Buddie.

All of this seems like a huge setup for the second half of the season.

These are more Bathena and Buddie parallels (related posts linked here and here) and I believe it's being done this way for a reason. IMO, it's still too early to tell if these things have anything to do with the 9-1-1 spinoff that's supposed to start filming in March but I'm not ruling it out. Since TM and RM (creators) like well-known stars with top billing name power (hence AB, PK and RL from LS) I'm not sure if Callum Blue fits that description to carry an entire series on his own but only time will tell.

The point of this post is to highlight the reason why I believe Brad is still around and it's so he can become part of the 118. That way Bobby will have someone to lead, teach and train since the core four (Chimney, Hen, Buck and Eddie) have been working with him for so long that they know what he expects. Even though Gerrard was a complete and utter terror while he was there (mainly towards Buck), when he got injured, they carried on with Hen as interim captain. It kind of seems like Bobby needs someone to lead who doesn't know anything and this is more about him than it is about Brad. At the end of season 7, Bobby left and he didn't tell his team that he was planning to retire. Now that he's back, it appears that he's realizing they can and did function without him and it's making him understand his role as captain could be coming to an end the same way Athena pulling her hamstring is making her realize her own mortality as a LAPD police officer.

It'll be interesting to see how this will play out but Brad being around at this late date is NOT a coincidence and I think Bobby will have to decide if he wants to hire Brad as a probie after Brad reveals he wants to change careers.

Just saying.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

In Love and War (9)

Summary: The completion of the wards falls on an anniversary Warlord!Rhys can't forget.

Content Warnings: Mentions of Death/Infant Loss; Depression; Mentions of Drinking.

Author's Note: Brought the story back just to fill it with angst, I'm so sorry!

Previous Chapter/ Masterlist

---------

Rhys is gone by morning, his side of the mat cold. My head feels like it’s full of cotton; mouth full of sand. My bones ache, most of all my hands, it’s an effort to stretch out my fingers without feeling like my skin might tear right off the bone.

At least I haven’t covered the tent in vines while I slept.

There’s a waterskin and some rations left beside the mat for me, after a couple minutes of trying to rub the stiffness from my fingers, I sit up and scarf it down like I haven’t seen a meal in a week. My stomach certainly rumbles like it. I wonder if an increased appetite is a side effect of expelling so much power?

Once I’m finished, I slip back into my armor, wincing at the smell that clings to the leather. I need a shower, desperately! We’re supposed to be meeting up with Cassian’s group today, hopefully that means we’ll return to the valley soon and I can find some place to get clean. 

By the time I’ve finished with the laces, Azriel’s poking his head in the tent and giving me a five minute warning before camp starts to move. He doesn’t offer up any answers as to where Rhys is before disappearing again.

Hoping the minatiny of this familiar task will help lessen the tension in my muscles, I make quick work of tearing down the tent and getting it all rolled up to leave. My head still feels terribly foggy, but I suppose I could still feel like I was going to tear out of my skin, so I’ll take it as a win. 

Azriel helps me get the supplies mounted onto Rhys’s horse, but the warlord still doesn’t show himself until right before we leave. He wears his cowl again, the stars covering his eyes, the heavy fabric shielding his wings from the cold mountain air. His gloved hands grab my hips and lift me into the saddle and he swings silently into his seat behind me without so much as a hello. 

I try to not let the silence get to me, but worry worms its way into my chest the longer we go without speaking. Had I done something wrong yesterday? Was he irritated with how slow my progress has been? He seemed pleased last night, had I misinterpreted it?

His powers seem… dull today. The starlight not so bright, his shadows sluggish as he stitches the wards back together. His body is heavy against my back, like he’s having a hard time holding himself upright.

“Are you ok?” It takes a couple hours for me to work up the courage to ask.

He nuzzles his cowl covered head against my neck. “I’m all right.”

“You’re quiet today,” I say gently.

“Just a little tired,” he assures.

“Did you not sleep?” I was so exhausted last night I hadn’t been aware enough to see if he’d fallen asleep with me. He’d been so exhausted when we’d made it back to camp I’d just assumed he was out as fast as I was.

“I’ll sleep when this is done,” he replies.

My chest aches at the thought of him being up all night, tying these wards back together after spending all day babysitting me and my errant powers. “You need to rest too.”

He kisses my temple, his lips like ice against my skin. “I’ll be alright.”

A few more minutes of silence stretch out between us, the only sound the horse’s hooves against the rocks and boisterous conversations of the men behind us. They’re in good spirits today, making bets on whether or not we beat Cassian around the mountain. Rhys makes no attempt to join the conversation, his focus still on the wards.

I see no sight of the other group ahead of us, just lots and lots of mountain, and some dark clouds ahead of us. We might meet Cassian as the storm arrives to meet us. I shiver at the thought of what might have happened to me if I was still out alone in that kind of weather. It’s almost cold enough to snow, if I had still been looking for game in that poor excuse for clothes, no real shelter to be had, I’d be dead. It still hits me like a slap to think that Tam left me out here, knowing I could die, knowing I wasn’t prepared to make it on my own.

“How do you feel today?” It’s not the first time I wonder if he can hear my thoughts somehow. He always seems to know when they turn to Tamlin.

“My head feels like it’s full of cotton,” I say truthfully. “But it is better than yesterday.”

He twists to find the waterskin and passes it to me. “It might feel like that for a while.”

I subconsciously bring my fingers up to rub my temples. “Suppose it’s better than clawing at my skin all day.”

“It will help if you keep practicing,” he assures. “The more you get comfortable with it, the less energy you will have to put in expelling it. It will come out naturally and it will hurt less.”

I think the bones in my fingers might snap in half if I keep trying to summon claws after yesterday. 

He stops warding long enough to cup my hands together in my lap. “Just practice making those flowers, like last night. No shapeshifting on Midnight, he doesn’t like having fangs near his neck.”

“Your horse’s name is Midnight?” I can’t help the laugh that slips out of me. Death Incarnate rides a horse that sounds like it got its name from a child! It’s so very un-Warlord like of him that I can’t help but smile.

“He was born at Midnight, so his name is Midnight,” Rhys counters and Midnight huffs in what sounds like agreement.

“Oh of course, I was just expecting something… more intimidating, I guess.”

Midnight shakes his mane in a way that looks to me like I’ve insulted him and I run an apologetic hand over his silk smooth neck. 

“It’s intimidating,” Rhys insists.

“It’s cute,” I amend.

He huffs as he leans his chin down against my shoulder, hand leaving mine to resume his stitching. “I was ten, it sounded cool to a ten year old.”

I try to picture a scruffy haired ten year old Rhys, but come up empty. “Even cuter!”

“Hush, you’ll ruin my reputation,” he warns, nipping playfully at the juncture of my throat and shoulder. 

“Your reputation is safe with me,” I swear.

He chuckles at that, but as my focus shifts to practicing like he suggested, he once again slips back into silence. His shadows drift lazily over my arms and wrists as I practice, as if watching my progress. Sometimes they brush soothingly over my shaking wrists, or rub circles into my palms when the tension becomes too much, but Rhys says nothing for hours.

The storm on the horizon continues to drift closer, the temperature dropping the further into the mountains we go. When I start to shiver, he draws his cloak around the two of us, and tucks himself a little tighter around me to share the blissful warmth of his body heat, but even then he says nothing. 

Worry once again worms its way into my chest. Is he hurt? Did I do something wrong yesterday? Did he somehow figure out what I’d done?

I worry my lower lip between my teeth to avoid him seeing me wringing my hands the longer this drags on. We don’t stop for lunch, only for a brief period to let the horses drink from a small stream, and not even long enough for us to dismount and stretch our legs. It’s a quick drink and then we’re right back to it. The men seem pleased with this, the less stops mean the sooner we reach the rendezvous point and beat Cassian. If any of them think something is amiss with Rhys, they don’t voice it.

It comes to a point that I try to catch Azriel’s eye to see if the other male notices anything off with his warlord, but Rhys keeps us steadily ahead of the others, leading the way into the coming storm. 

The wind beats relentlessly at us now, I have to shield my eyes by tucking my head inside Rhy’s cloak. Still, Rhys doesn’t slow, even if I hear the heavy rasp of his breathing beneath his chestplate the harder he pushes. 

By nightfall, lightning streaks across the sky in angry slashes, thunder echoing off the mountain tops. I can smell the rain on the wind, though trouble finds us first when a lightning strike hits the side of the mountain and a rush of boulders and debris come raining down on our heads. 

Rhys’s magic flares in a protective shield above our heads, sheltering us from the worst of it, and once he’s sure everyone is unscathed, he presses on. 

Still, none of the men protest. Not even when the rain finally comes. It beats down on us like thousands of icy needles, pelting relentlessly against every bit of exposed skin it can find. Rhys’ cloak protects us from the worst of it, but even for all its magic properties, it can’t keep the rain from sliding down into our boots. 

I try not to complain. I’ve been through worse. But my teeth are chattering and I’ve done my best to curl up into his chest to try and preserve any bit of body heat I might have left. “Rhys, are we going to stop soon?”

I’m not sure at first that he can hear me over the rain, but his body shifts, an arm wrapping around my waist and then Midnight is moving faster, uphill. A few minutes later, the rain stops. Well, not stops, I can still hear it, but it no longer beats against us. 

He slides off the horse and I hear the wet thwack of his boots against stone before he hauls me down onto the ground next to him. I don’t know how he’s not shivering, he’s as soaked as I am.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, pressing a damp kiss to my forehead. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

We’re in a large cave carved into the mountain. It’s cold and damp and so dark I can barely see, but it’s not raining on us any longer so I’ll take it. The rest of the men file in behind us, proving the size is bigger than I can make out in the dark. 

“Az, get a fire going,” Rhys orders. 

“This the spot we’re meeting the others?” One of the men asks.

“It’s up the ridge,” Rhys returns as he pulls off his gloves and shoves them in his pocket so he can help rub some warmth back into my fingers. “I’ll finish it in a moment.”

He brings my hands up to his lips and as Azriel gets a fire going with some debris littering the cave, I get the first real look of him all day. “I’m sorry, Darling,” his eyes are rimmed with dark circles and bloodshot, face pale. “I’m sorry.” He keeps repeating it even as he kisses my knuckles, more like he’s talking to himself than me and my chest cracks open a little more.

“It’s ok,” my teeth are still chattering. 

Some of the men find the wood they’ve kept wrapped and dry and get the fire growing, but Rhys pulls me farther into the dark, deft fingers unlacing my chestpiece, the leather sticking to my damp skin. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers again and even though he’s still brushing his lips against my forehead while he works, I don’t feel like he’s seeing me at all. He’s far, far away from me, body moving on instinct and I reach out to touch his face.

“Hey, I’m ok,” I promise.

But he won’t stop moving, not until he’s completely stripped me of all my wet clothes and found something dry to slip me into in his pack. They’re all way too big for me, but they're dry and I can’t make any complaints about it. 

“Was distracted,” he mutters to himself, hands pulling my damp hair off my neck and into a swift braid. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m ok, Rhys,” I assure. Some warmth already returning to my stiff limbs.

He still doesn’t hear me as he leads me back over to where a roaring fire now blooms in the heart of the cave. A few of the men stand around it, warming their hands, but the rest remain dutifully near their horses, waiting. 

Rhys throws a blanket around my shoulders as he helps me sit like I’m incapable of doing it on my own. At least all the supplies had been covered in waterproofing before we set out. Nothing has been ruined. Anything too soaked to be of use gets left draped over some rocks near the fire to dry out.

“Better?” His own wet clothes make a puddle around him as he kneels next to me, making sure I’m fully wrapped up in the blanket. 

“Better,” I confirm, and I mean it, the heat is delicious, warming the rock beneath us so that the chill is no longer seeping through my clothes. 

He leans in to kiss me gently on the lips, like I’m made of glass or something. “I’m sorry.”

I try to reach for his hand to assure him that I am fine, but he pulls away before I can. 

“Stay with her while I finish the wards,” he orders Azriel.

I drag my attention away from Rhys to look at the other Illyrian. The orange glow of the fire of the sharp planes of his face make him look like a primordial god. 

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel returns, muscular arms crossed firmly over his chest.

Rhys huffs as he strides past him, “Stay. With. Her.” Then he’s back on his horse and riding back into the rain before anyone else can try and stop him. 

Azriel sends some of the men out with him before settling down next to me on the floor.

I don’t know Azriel well enough to start up a conversation, at least, rationally I know that. That doesn’t stop me from trying anyway. “Is he ok?”

Azriel throws his wet boots to the floor to dry out with a sigh. “Today’s a bad day.” His wings flair out behind him, shaking out water droplets that make the fire hiss and sputter.

I glance at the remaining men, who make themselves comfortable and busy doing anything other than sit near the two of us.  “What’s today?” 

Hazel eyes flick briefly to me, and I get the distinct impression he’s sizing me up, before he goes back to starring in the fire. “Feyre…”

Shit.

“She died five years ago today.”

I glance back towards the mouth of the cave, out into the rain, even though I can’t see him out there in the dark. 

“She…” Azriel throws another log into the fire with the energy of someone who just needs to be doing something with his hands. “She was pregnant. A boy. They’d just found out the gender.”

I don’t know what to say. The beast that lives caged beneath my skin howls and rages against my bones, like it might break free and rip through the pain I feel shred my soul at the realization of how deeply Amarantha had hurt him. My claws tear easily through my nail beds.

“He always gets like this on the anniversary,” Azriel continues. “Usually does some reckless shit and drinks himself half to death.” He too glances out the mouth of the cave. “Give him some space tonight, ok?”

I nod, not trusting my voice to speak. 

“He’ll need you in the morning. It’s usually worse the day after, when he wakes up and realizes…” he trails off.

“When he realizes she’s not coming back,” tears prick the corners of my eyes. How many mornings had I awoken, still anxious that my mother had wandered off while I slept, only to remember she was gone?

“Yeah.”

“Will you check on him, in a bit?” I tuck my head against my knees. 

“No,” Azriel replies. “If I leave you alone tonight…” he lets the words hang there, but I get the point. The look in Rhys’ eyes earlier was clear enough. If he thought for even a second that I was in danger tonight, after what he’d already lost, he might just tear the whole world apart.

I pull the blanket tighter around myself and lean back against a boulder, trying to get comfortable. I’ll just have to wait up for him then. He has to come back eventually, right? He’s not so distracted by the date that he’d stay up in the rain all night, would he?

Azriel brings some food out for me a little while later, and some of the men start playing card games to pass the time. We don’t speak any more after that though, the silence only broken by the pounding of the rain against the mouth of the cave. I barely have the stomach to eat anything, I just keep staring at the entrance, waiting.

Today isn’t the day to ask him why he chose me. Tomorrow won’t be either. That’s ok. For whatever reason, it doesn’t feel like it matters right now. He needs me. I’ll be here. Whatever the reason fate brought us together, whatever either of us intended to do, tonight it’s irrelevant. Tonight I don’t want to think about all the trouble behind me. I just want to be here for him, like he has been for me. 

The hours start to tick by. Some of the men unfurl their sleep mats around the fire and drift off. Azriel sits dutifully beside me, spinning his dagger in his hands, only getting up every now and then to feed the fire. Rhys still doesn’t return. 

My fingers drift absently to my chest, to that spot where I sometimes feel that thing that ties me to Rhys. I don’t know that it’s really a bond, it seems cruel that the Mother would tie me to him when he deserves someone better than me, but tonight I hope that it is something. I push on it, hoping that there’s another end where he can feel me. An end that tells him I’m here if he needs me, if he wants me. I can’t replace her. Or what he’s lost. I won’t even begin to try, but if he wants me, I will be here, waiting.

“You should get some sleep,” Azriel says after a while.

I shift my position to be a little closer to the fire. “No.” I don’t need to explain myself, so I won’t try.

An hour past midnight, horses come into view through the downpour. As I sit up, hopeful that he’s finally back, Cassian dismounts from a horse covered in mud. Mor follows, barely conscious, her rain slicked hair plastered to her face. She yawns as she stumbles over to the fire, and strips right there in front of everyone, her wet clothes hitting the floor with a thwack. 

I don’t miss the way Azriel quickly looks away from her. 

Cassian only chuckles as he throws a fresh pair of clothes at her. 

Once she’s changed and holding her own blanket, she settles down next to me with a grin. “Guess you guys win this time around!”

“Yeah,” the words come out of me absently, my gaze still fixed over her shoulder, trying to see past Cassian and the rest of his men as they file in. 

Azriel stands to help them light a second fire, further blocking my view. 

“He was right behind us,” Mor assures, following my gaze. 

I find myself biting my lower lip again as my gaze jumps from one male to the next. Where is he? He should be back by now! But none of the faces that slowly come into view as Azriel gets the fire going is the one I want to see. 

My lip is bleeding from how much I’ve been biting on it tonight; I move to start biting at my nail instead. He shouldn’t be out there this long! Azriel says he gets reckless, did he do something stupid? What if he’s hurt?

Mor reaches out to grab my wrist and only then do I realize how deeply I’ve been digging my knuckles into the knot that’s been steadily forming in my chest. Her eyes are gentle as she pulls my hand away. “We weren’t followed, he’s fine.”

The beast beneath my skin snaps and growls. He’s not fine! He’s alone out there in the cold and rain, in pain and I can’t shake the feeling that he needs me… but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it.

“He shouldn’t be alone.”

She glances over to Azriel and Cassian before looking back to me. “Trust me, he wants to be. Just give him space.”

The minutes drag on for eternity. Mor lays down next to me and drifts off almost immediately. I’m so restless I’m about to start pacing. I might have actually gotten up and done it if Azriel’s disapproving gaze didn’t land on me the moment I tried to stand back up. Bastard!

It’s probably no time at all before Midnight finally comes riding through the rain into the mouth of the cave, but it feels like eternity, as if I’d been holding my breath the whole night. The knot in my chest loosens as Rhys jumps out of the saddle and finds some scraps of cloth to dry the horse off with. 

His cloak is still drying across the fire, his clothes now sopping wet. Every move he makes leaves a puddle behind him. The strands of his dark hair have slipped free from the knot he’d tied them in, the long locks now clinging to his face. It takes everything in me not to get up and push them out of his way for him. 

He strips down to his boxers quickly, tossing his ruined clothes somewhere behind him carelessly. The glow of the fire makes the circles under his eyes darker as he snags a wineskin from one of the men. 

I watch as Cassian tries to make a joke, but Rhys just huffs at him as he pushes his hair out of his face and takes a long drink from the skin. 

I’ve waited all this time to make sure he’s ok, but now that he’s back I don’t know what to do. Azriel told me to stay away tonight, and by the looks of it, he’s following his own advice as he finally retrieves his mat and lays down near the entrance of the cave. Cassian hovers for a few minutes, trying to make conversation, but Rhys just keeps drinking and ignoring him, his gaze lost in the flames. Eventually he gives up and gets his own mat ready for bed. 

I wait, watching as Rhys finally sits down in front of the other fire, the light glistening off his damp skin. The shadows trace his tattoos like I often find myself wishing to do with my fingers. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m supposed to make this better for him. But when my world fell apart, he’d come and held me, so maybe he needs that too?

I swallow the lump in my throat as I finally stand, dragging the blanket with me. 

For once, Rhys doesn’t seem to notice me, eyes still locked in the flames as he brings the skin to his lips and drinks again and again and again. 

I should be afraid of him. All the males in my life were violent drunks. The scars on my side are a testament to that. Rhys is stronger than all of them, and I have no idea what he’s like drunk. But I only feel trepidation because I don’t want to make his pain worse, not because I think he’ll hurt me. I don’t think he’s capable of that.

I take the blanket off my shoulders and drape it around his, careful of where his damp wings drape across the floor. Only then does he glance up at me, his eyes glassy. Wordlessly, his hand brushes over mine, barely holding on, just enough to give me a little tug, asking me to sit. For a moment, I just sit next to him under the shared blanket, but his skin is so cold! He’s not shaking only because he’s had enough to drink to keep him from noticing.

Damn me, and the stupid thing that lives in my chest that feels like it’s breaking from my inability to fix this. I’d thought what I was feeling might be pity at first, but now… now I can’t help but think I manifested this somehow, when I asked him all those days ago if he would show me how to be a good mate. 

I had spent most of my life wishing this kind of pain on him. I’ve gotten what I wanted and I hate every bit of it. This isn’t what  I want at all!

Slowly, unsure of myself, I twist so I can wrap my arms around his waist. At the very least, my body heat might keep him warm. He stills under my grip, body rigid. Maybe this was the wrong move, maybe Azriel was right and I should have stayed away.

“What are you doing, mate?” He whispers in my ear, voice slurring.

I tuck my head against his bare chest. “Want to hold you.”

“Why?” His hands shake as they trail down my spine. 

“You’re sad.” That’s an understatement, but I don’t know how else to put it. “I’m not very good at this comforting thing, you know? But you’ve held me when I’ve been sad so I thought, maybe, you would want that too.”

He goes quiet for a bit and I think maybe I’ve lost him to the horrors that plague his mind again, but then he tosses the wineskin to the floor and rolls us both onto our sides on the rough stone ground. The stone is uncomfortable without a mat, but he shifts so his arm is beneath my head, and glides my leg up over his hip so we’re chest to chest. I’m not sure how warm he’ll be with the fire at my back, but I hope my body heat will transfer to him well enough. 

“You didn’t have to stay up for me,” he says.

I gently trace my fingers over the swirls of ink on his chest. “I know, but I wanted to. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

He nuzzles his face against mine. “Will you stay with me?”

“For as long as you need,” I assure.

His wing comes up to cover us, but he doesn’t close his eyes, fingers drawing lazy shapes against my back. 

“You should sleep,” I try but he shakes his head.

“Not tonight.”

I wonder if he sees what he’s lost as clearly as I do in my dreams, but it feels like a bad time to ask. No need to further dredge up those awful memories. 

“You said you used to tell your mother stories,” he says, the firelight dancing over his face. “Will you tell me one?”

It is an easy rhythm to fall into, as easy as breathing. The words spill out of me, the tale weaving itself along with the tempo of the crackling wood and the pouring rain around us. I tell story after story about the nymphs and the dryads, in a world long before Hybern and Amarantha, long before war tore our people apart. I talk until the fire starts to die, and the rain becomes a dull thud against the rocks outside; until the words become as heavy as my eyes. He never says anything during my tales, but he never closes his eyes either, hands still wandering absently up my back. The gesture more soothing than he realizes, I don’t think anyone had ever held me like this. My eyes droop despite my best efforts, words starting to slur.

“You should sleep,” he says.

“Don’t want to leave you alone,” I confess, but my eyes are so, so heavy. The strain of the last few days still weighs on me. 

My vision is blurry, sleep pulling on the edge of my consciousness, so it has to be a trick of the light that I see tears in his violet eyes.

He buries his head in the crook of my neck, breath stuttering out of him, and I realize that it’s no trick. Not when I can feel the damp stain across my sleeve. He muffles a sob in my shirt, the dull thundering of the rain enough to cover the rest. My fingers move instinctively into his hair, brushing through the tangled strands., my senses once again alert and awake.

The knot in my chest aches so deeply I think it might keep me awake for days.

“I wasn’t fast enough,” he whimpers. 

Gods, how many times had I whispered that very thing into the dark, rocking myself to sleep, trying to soothe myself with all the possible ways I could have saved my parents, even when I knew it was futile? 

“There was nothing you could have done.” That’s what you’re supposed to say, right? It sounds right. Sounds like what I wanted someone to tell me when I spiraled down into the depths of my depression. 

“It should have been me,” he sobs.

I draw him tighter against me. If I had any way to draw that pain out of his chest and take it into my own I would. I’d do anything, offer any distraction, sacrifice any plan, to take that burden off my mate.

The world feels like it zeroes in to that one, particular point.

My mate.

Of all the godsdamned times for it to click into place, for him to be right, it had to be here, in this damp cave when I have no idea how to make any of this better. I’m out of my element, in more ways than one.

“You…” I’m having a hard time breathing around the knot in my chest--no, the tether in my chest, all jumbled and tangled by all the fucked up stuff between us, but a tether none the less. “You can’t think like that.”

“You don’t understand-” he growls into my throat, but I cut him off, “Yes, I do. I do understand what it feels like to have the people you love ripped from you.”

His body stills under my hands again.

“I understand the emptiness, the loneliness, how… dark and cold and fucking brutal the aftermath is because there is suddenly no one there to tell you that it’s not your fault. There’s no one to assure you that they would want you to live and not carry the weight of it on your shoulders every godsdamned day.”

He slowly tilts his head back to look at me, his face tear streaked. I move my hand out of his hair to brush some of it off his cheek. “No one can replace what you lost.”

Slowly, he leans his head into my touch. “And I’m so sorry that you’ve lost so much.”

It’s unfair that one person should have to lose so many of the people that he loves; looking at him, I can’t believe how close I was to bringing even more pain into his life. If I had succeeded… gods I would have been worse than my father!

“But I have to believe that you are still here for a reason.” He should get to have a life! Whatever that costs me, he’s more than earned it. “Even if you haven’t found that reason yet.”

Rhys leans back down against my shoulder with a sigh that makes his wings shake. “It’s so heavy,” he whispers.

My hands go back to his hair, working through the knots the rain has created. “Show me how to help you carry it?”

His wing comes back over me again, his weight now fully on me. Somehow, it feels like that helps the tether linking us together settle. The ache… soothed, just a bit. I drift my hands from his hair down his back, careful to avoid his wings, soothing over hard muscle, until his breathing stops feeling so shaky. 

“Distract me,” he whispers.

“Whatever you need, Rhys, I’m here,” and I mean it.

“Tell me another story?”

“As many as you like,” I promise. It’s the least I can do, for my mate. I shove all the fear and uncertainty the word brings to mind into a quaint little box in the back of my mind; bury it under layers of emotional damage I’ve never dealt with and refuse to let my thoughts run away with me. I will figure it out tomorrow. I will find a way to make sure I don’t become another scar on his heart. He can’t ever know what I planned to do… it would ruin him.

And I wouldn’t survive it.

----------

Tag List:

@judig92 / @randomperson1234sblog / @nyxbranwenn / @lilah-asteria / @barb00235

-

@landofpetrichor / @hjgdhghoe / @buttermilktea11 / @yourforeveryoungblog / @sassyn

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@zoeisdreaming6 / @minnieoo / @girl-math-aint-mathing / @raisam / @inloveallthetime

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@blessthepizzaman / @bxtchopolis / @erencvlt / @mylittle-flower-loves / @zanaorian

-

Thank you all for your patience! <3 I'm trying to get back on schedule with this!

[redrose10]

Hello, first of all I would like to start of by saying you are a phenomenal writer. Like I came across your account some time around 5 months back and I might have devoured eyes piece of writing there is to here. I love all the prompt requests you do, be it the snake hybrid Yoongi, or CEO ones or the classic jock trope you did. Loved them all. And especially the coffee shop AU you wrote about Yoongi was so damn good. Like edge of my seat till the end good. So thanks a lot for being that good and for choosing to share it with us.

also could I please request no.2 hybrid au for the au part and no.2 as well for the trope and 29 and 39 for prompts. And if it’s not too much to ask (could it be either of Seokjin, Jungkook or Namjoon)

THANKS A BUNCH and regards

Have a great day

Hi! Thank you so much for the kind words! I hope this is okay for you.

< Milk and Kookie>

Dog Hybrid Jungkook x Cat Hybrid Reader

Warnings: Mentions of injury/blood, mentions of bullying, theres a bet and being used, swearing

Hybrid, Enemies to lovers

#29 “There is more to the story than you’re telling me.”

#39 “That’s a new low for you.”

*******************************************************

You first met Jeon Jungkook when you were both six years old. He was a wild rambunctious loud dog hybrid and you were the quiet calm patient cat hybrid. You had always thought he was annoying, but one day during snack time, he was rough housing with another dog hybrid named Taehyung and he knocked over your chocolate milk. It spilled all over the front of your favorite white dress. Even though he apologized and your mom was able to get the stain out, you could never bring yourself to get over it.

In the third grade you were supposed to have the lead role in the school play. You were super excited and practiced your lines over and over again. The day before the play you were walking in the hallway when you bumped into someone running by. Jungkook looked down at you with wide eyes and held out his hand to help you up while apologizing. You were agitated, but walked away not thinking much of it. The next morning you came down with a terrible stomach bug causing you to have to back out of the play. The next week at school you found out Jungkook had also been sick with very similar symptoms and while you couldn’t prove it, you were sure he was the one that passed on his germs to you when he helped you up in the hallway that day.

Then in the eighth grade you were telling your best friend how you had a huge crush on the new kid, another cat hybrid named Jimin. You were gushing on and on about how he had the prettiest eyes and his hair looked so soft. You knew that he was really into movies so you saved up all of your babysitting money to ask him if he wanted to hangout and go see a movie with you, your treat. You were walking out to the playground where Jimin was with his friends when a ball came flying at your head. You tried to duck, but was not quick enough and the ball smashed right into your face breaking your nose. You dropped to the ground and cried in pain as blood began to drip all over you. You could hear the familiar sound of Jungkook apologizing, but were too distracted by the teachers doting over you and the laughter that was radiating from Jimin and his friends as they pointed at you.

Something changed in the tenth grade though. You were paired up with Jungkook for your home economics class. You were learning how to make a cake from scratch. As you watched him crack the eggs and mix them in with the butter and sugar you noticed how much he had matured. He was quite a bit taller. His shoulders had widened and he’d definitely put on some muscle mass. His dark colored ears were peaking out of his brown hair as he was fully concentrated on mixing the cake while his long tail lazily hung behind him. He looked at you with a big toothy smile and round doe eyes. It was your turn to work on the frosting. You found yourself wondering if he’d always been that attractive.

You also noticed that he was more than annoying or loud. He was incredibly sweet and thoughtful. He was always buying lunch for the kids that couldn’t afford it. He started helping the librarian every day by putting away the books on the top shelf that she couldn’t reach because he didn’t want her standing on the step stool while she was so far along in her pregnancy. One day you failed a test you studied really hard for. He came and found you bringing you your favorite candy. He listened to you cry and he told you everything that was great about yourself so one little failed test shouldn’t matter. You walked home that day feeling much better than you had in a long time.

The two of you became quite good friends. And senior year was when you realized and fully accepted your crush. It was also the year you went through the most miserable embarrassing moment, all because of him.

When you got to school one morning there was a note in your locker,

“Meet me at our spot after school.-Kookie”

You smiled at the cute nickname you had started using for him. He acted like he hated it but got really offended any time you called him anything else. Your spot was behind the school next to a bunch of rose bushes. The two of you often found comfort there watching the flowers bloom as you talked.

You don’t know what you expected when you got to your spot. Deep down you were hoping, maybe expecting that he was going to ask you out. But it certainly wasn’t for Jungkook to be there with your bully, Mia. Her red lipstick staining his face while his hair had clearly been ruffled. It killed you inside that not only wasn’t he interested in you, but he had the audacity to trick you into meeting him so you could watch him make out with the one girl who made your life hell and it was in your spot on top of it.

Jungkook chased after you when he noticed you running away. He called. He texted. He showed up at your house. He followed you around school trying to get you to listen to him. It wasn’t until you threatened to report him to the principal for harassment that he finally backed off. You kicked yourself for ever falling for him and you began to once again hate Jeon Jungkook just like you had the day he spilled your milk.

College was great. You learned new things. Met new friends. Had a few dates. Things were really looking up.

Then a few months into your second year you decided to move off of campus and get yourself an apartment. The only problem being that rent was disgustingly expensive and there was no way you could afford it in your own. Thankfully your co-worker Namjoon, a wolf hybrid, let you know his roommate Jin had recently graduated and moved out so he had an open room, if you didn’t mind living with him and his other roommate. You thought about it for a few days but after some more searching you knew you’d never find a better option. Namjoon was nice and respectful. He seemed tidy enough and always smelled really nice. You didn’t see him as the possibly a murderer type so you agreed to move in.

And it was on a cool Autumn day when you found out that his other roommate was Jungkook.

“What are you doing here?”, he spat while glaring at you in the doorway. You never did understand why HE developed an attitude towards you. He was the one that intentionally hurt you a few years back. You were innocent.

“I’m moving in. What are YOU doing here?”, you questioned back.

“I live here.”

Great. Just absolutely perfectly great. You felt like you were going to be sick because you had already given up your dorm so you had nowhere else to go other than to live with Jungkook.

“I uh guess you two already know each other?”, Namjoon said carrying in the rest of your bags.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, “Yeah something like that.”

It was like you could actually feel your blood boiling. You had no idea how or why he had the nerve to act like he wasn’t the reason things got so bad between you. Thankfully Namjoon had a good sense of of the situation and was able to separate you both giving everyone time to cool off.

Surprisingly it wasn’t as difficult to live under the same roof as Jungkook as you thought it would be. You two went to classes during the day. You worked your part time jobs in the evening. Other than Namjoon you had separate friends so hangouts were with different people. The very few times you crossed paths in the apartment you didn’t even make eye contact let alone speak to each other. It wasn’t that bad.

That all change in one night though. You were getting ready to go on your fourth date with another cat hybrid named Yoongi. He was a few years older, but he was very sweet and gentle and you enjoyed spending time with him.

You walked into the kitchen to get some water and saw Namjoon and Jungkook at the table.

“So meeting Yoongi again? The fourth date right?”, Namjoon said raising his eyebrows up and down.

“Don’t even start Joon. He’s not like that. He’s respectful and patient.”

You heard Jungkook scoff, but you chose to ignore it for your own sanity if anything.

“I don’t know Y/N. I feel like most guys, especially college guys are all the same. They only want one thing.”

“No Joon they’re not all like that. Especially not Yoongi.”

Jungkook once again scoffed and this time shook his head mumbling something you couldn’t quite make out.

“Do you have something to say Jungkook? Because if you do just spit it out already.”

He sat up straight like he was ready to say something, but then leaned back in his chair instead, “Nothing Y/N. Go on your date with YooNGi. See how that works out for you.”

“I will. I bet it’ll work out better than anything between you and me.”, you said throwing a glare his way before slamming the glass down and walking back to your room.

Yoongi: Hey I’m outside :)

You smiled at the message. You loved how he could calm you down so easily. You knew Namjoon had left for his shift, but you still tiptoed to the door hoping not to draw the attention of Jungkook. Unfortunately you weren’t so lucky because he was already waiting for you.

He walked to the door placing his hand on it to prevent you from opening it, “Y/N I know we don’t have a great history, but please don’t go on this date with him.”

“And why is that?”, you hissed trying to pry the door open but he was much stronger than you.

He hesitated, “Just…please Y/N just trust me.”

“Yeah okay. The last time I trusted you, you broke my heart by making sure I caught you kissing the girl who bullied me.”

“What?! I never kiss-“he tried to say but you put your hand up to stop him, “Save it. I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuse. I just want to go on a date with a guy I really like so if you would please…move…your…hand.” You tried pulling as hard as you could but it was useless. Your phone was vibrating in your bag and you knew it was Yoongi wondering where you were.

“Jungkook this is basically a hostage situation at this point so either let me go or I’ll have to call for help.”, you said not messing around any more.

Finally he stepped back, “Fine. Go on your date, but just know that he’s not the person you think he is and if you do go on this date you’re only going to end up hurt.”

His words caught you off guard a little.

“There is more to the story than you’re telling me.”, you said eyeing him up and down. He was looking everywhere around the room other than at you so you knew he had more to say but was nervous.

There was a knock at the door which you were surprised when Jungkook answered it because you both knew who it was.

“You okay?”, Yoongi asked when he saw you standing there.

“Yeah uh sorry my roommate had something to talk about.” You left ignoring the begging from Jungkook to let him explain.

When you returned later that night you walked into the kitchen jumping a little when you saw Jungkook sitting at the table in the dark. He had already prepared a glass of chocolate milk with extra chocolate syrup just like you liked it.

You broke down in tears all over again. He comforted you. You explained how in the middle of what you thought was a great date Yoongi got a text. He got really angry and slammed his phone down grumbling about how he hated loosing. When you questioned him he told you about the bet. A bet he had between him and his friend Hoseok. They both picked women who they thought were prudes and the first one to hookup won the bet. And Hoseoks girl gave in first. So since he didn’t care to be in your presence any more as you were useless to him now, he threw some cash down on the table to cover the bill and left you alone at the restaurant. You cried most of the way home and finally really broke down fully infront of Jungkook.

He sat there in silence, every once in a while encouraging you to take a sip of milk or reminding you to breathe.

“Di-Did you know about the bet?”, you whispered in between sobs.

He nodded while licking his lips.

“That’s a new low for you.”, you said shaking your head, “Why do you go out of your way to try and hurt me? Huh? Why Jungkook? What did I ever do to you?”

You could feel more tears coming on as he pulled you into his embrace. As much as you wanted to push him away you were exhausted and cold and he was warm and soft and smelled like comfort.

He took a deep breath, “Its not like that Y/N…well not completely. I heard Yoongi and Hobi talking in class one day. They said they were looking for a nice shy woman they could take on a date. I told them about you. I just wanted you to find someone that made you happy. At the time I didn’t know what their true intentions were. Then yesterday in class I heard them talking about the bet. Hobi said his girl had been all over him last time so he thought he was going to win. Yoongi was clearly irritated and said something about you being even harder to fuck than he thought. I wanted to punch him right there. That’s why I was trying to get you to skip the date tonight. I’m sorry Y/N. I’ve never tried to intentionally hurt you.”

“Yeah…that’s why you purposely asked me to meet at our spot just so I could catch you kissing Mia.”, you said feeling your anger bubbling again.

“Mia? Mia…ooohhhhh high school Mia?”

“Yep…I got your note about meeting at our spot after school. I thought maybe you liked me back…maybe you were gonna ask me out. But boy was I wrong. I saw you standing there with her lipstick all over your face…I guess I was dumb for thinking you liked me anyways.”

He ran his hands through his hair and he turned to look at you, “Is that why you ignored me all this time?”

“Of course it is Jungkook!! Do you know how much that hurt? And it was worse that you did it on purpose. It would’ve been one thing to accidentally catch you, but you purposely set me up.” You could feel another round of tears coming on. Quickly you tried to get up to leave but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back down. His ears were laid so far back down into his hair the that you could barely see them.

“Y/N…I…I didn’t kiss Mia that day. I know that’s what it looked like, but it’s not what happened. She overheard me asking someone for ideas on how to ask you out. She offered to help. She said she would handle it and that I should just show up. I thought she was just being nice…maybe she wanted to make it up to you for all the bullying or something. I had flowers and a little speech prepared and everything. I was so nervous. We were waiting for you. I asked her if my hair looked okay and she went to fix it a little and then she just…she kissed me. I pushed her away, but you’d already seen it. I chased after you. I tried for weeks to explain but you wouldn’t let me.”

“Wait so you really were going to ask me out?”

He smiled to himself, “Yeah I’ve liked you for a long time. Like since we were little kids. I just couldn’t ever seem to not screw things up with you.”

“What do you mean?”, you questioned.

“Like every time I try to help you I end up making it worse. I was trying to stop Taehyung from bumping into you but instead I knocked your milk all over your dress. There was that time I kicked the ball and broke your nose. I just wanted to get your attention to distract you from asking Jimin out because I knew he was going to reject you but I missed my kick. Or when I got you sick before the play. I had heard your understudy say she was going to trip you on the stairs so that she could take your part. I was going to tell the teacher when I ran into you. It’s just like we were never meant to be.”, he laughed feeling sorry for himself

“Well…I mean we are a cat and dog so it kind of makes sense.”, you smiled before resting your head on his shoulder. You chuckled when he quickly grabbed his tail to hide the fact it was beginning to wag in excitement. Just from his hands you could tell he was blushing and you knew your cheeks were heating up too.

“I’m sorry your date didn’t end well.”, he spoke after a few moments.

“That’s okay. It’s for the better I guess. There’s someone else I’d rather be out on a date with anyways.”

“Oh.”, he pouted, “Well I hope he treats you better than the last one.”

“Oh my god Kookie…it’s you! I’d rather be on a date with you!”

His eyes widened at the realization and his tail began to furiously wag even in his hold to try and stop it before he tried to play it cool, “Oh yeah okay. I totally knew that.”, he said, “Want to go to that diner for a late night date?”

“Will you buy me a chocolate milk?”, you playfully asked already putting on your jacket.

He held his hand out for you to grab and began leading you down the hall, “Of course, I’ll even throw in some pancakes too if you want.”

“We’ll see…I’m more of a cookie with my milk kind of cat.”

[freakymoonlitsakura]

Dr playlist!!!!

since I've seen a lot of people share songs they relate to their dr recently, I thought I'd share mine

may be a little cringe.. but I like it and it makes me happy so idgaf

I associate each song with either a single person, a pair or the whole group :3

Notion - Kiera

This whole song I relate to my personal shifting journey. Its really hard to explain how I connect it to her specifically though

It Almost Worked - Also Kiera lol

(Suicide TW) she did NOT attempt. She may have thought about it but she ultimately didnt - she did, however, will the entire thing into existence as a way of escapism (I may have been a little influenced by shifting when I created her lmao) (TW over :))

Sweet Hibiscus Tea - Guess who... Kiera!!!

Also really hard to explain. But her voice is really similar to the singer in this song so I like it

Ancient dreams in a Modern Land - The whole group, mostly Kiera and Nirin

Its been said before, but this song is so shifting core. So its there for that reason as well as there are separate lyrics that I associate with other people, but there's a lot to that so I'll explain it in a different post if this one gets enough interest :3

Kilby girl - Shiza

Shiza is very secretive about herself, and she fits the description of nose ring, fake id and good at lying. Theres a guy who likes her, but she's demiro/sex so it takes her a while to feel the same

Relax - The whole group ^^

This song matches the vibe of the place real nicely - laid back, everyone is comfortable and its a safe space for them.

I'd rather sleep - She's backk!! Kiera returns

She would rather sleep

Kids - Nirin

Uhhh the lyrics are pretty self explanatory i think >.<

HEAVEN AND BACK - Kiera (shocking)

If you replace the drugs with shifting it fits lol. This song is one of two that I have banger animations in my head to (ADiaML is the other one)

Unsweetened lemonade - Sakura

really really hard to explain again

The water is fine - Shiza

She's blood/the rivers daughter (Assassins daughter) (if that makes sense..) and the guy is water. He's really scared of her lifestyle when he finds out, but before he had no clue (but both feel the same when your eyes are closed) and after a while he calms down (the waters fine) I hope this makes sense lmao

We are the people - the whole group again

its just so.. shifting core. Also matches the vibe in a similar way that Relax does :3

Kiera IS my s/o so the amount of songs she has makes sense

[trixy812]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ You have all my support ɞ˚‧｡⋆ pt 4

{Nanami Kento x reader}

ִֶָ࣪☾. Content: nanami x reader, fluff, college!Nanami, college!Reader, that's what you get when you read shojo!

ִֶָ࣪☾. Synopsis: It was inevitable. Kento Nanami was leaving the jujutsu world.

ִֶָ࣪☾. AN: omg! this is really long! i hope you guys don't get bored with this part! as I am writing this series I get so excited, i am so proud of this and I hope you guys are enjoying. I am definetely planning to write more omakes for this series :) please let me know what you think!

pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - pt. 4

Reader meets Gojo

The soft glow of the sunset filtered through the curtains of your room, bathing the space in a warmth that felt nothing short of comforting. Nanami sat at the edge of your bed, a book in one hand while the other absentmindedly ran through your hair. Your head rested on his lap as you pretended to watch TV, though your attention was far from it. It was one of those rare, quiet moments where just being together was more than enough.

Suddenly, Nanami broke the silence.

“What will you do after graduation?”

You frowned, caught off guard by the question. He already knew the answer—you’d discussed it countless times. You’d take a semester off to work full-time and save money before pursuing your dream of studying nursing. So it was clear he wasn’t asking for himself. This was his way of starting a conversation about his own future.

Turning your head slightly to look up at him, you smiled gently and asked,

“What about you, Kento? What do you want to do after graduation?”

Nanami carefully closed the book, placing it aside with precision, and let out a deep sigh. The weight of it was palpable in the way his chest rose and fell.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that,” he began, but stopped short, leaving his words hanging in the air.

Alarmed by the serious look on his face, you sat up, removing your head from his lap. Until that moment, you hadn’t realized how much he’d been carrying on his shoulders. A wave of guilt washed over you. How could I not notice? I’m supposed to be supporting him…

Nanami stared at his hands, fiddling with the corner of his book as if searching for courage.

“I’m not sure if I want to remain a sorcerer,” he admitted finally.

Now it was your turn to comfort him. You reached out to gently run your fingers through his hair, hoping to offer some solace.

“Why not?” you asked softly.

He closed his eyes briefly, as if the act might make explaining easier.

“Because the world of sorcery is rotten,” he said bluntly. “They use us. I saw what happened to Haibara, and I can’t stop thinking that if I stay, I’ll end up the same. Or worse, someone else will suffer because I wasn’t strong enough.”

He paused, looking out the window, searching for answers in the horizon.

“And then there’s Geto…” he continued. “I know what he did was wrong, but I can’t blame him. Honestly, I understand why he chose that path. This system is broken, y/n. Every time I return from a mission, I wonder if I’m making any difference at all—or just delaying the inevitable.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. Nanami rarely opened up about his feelings, always so stoic and composed. Seeing him like this, raw and vulnerable, made your heart ache.

“Kento…” you whispered, struggling to find the right words.

“I want your honest opinion,” he said, meeting your eyes. “What do you think I should do?”

You sighed, feeling the weight of the conversation settle around you.

“Alright,” you said, “but don’t blame me for being straightforward.”

Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you finally spoke, letting your emotions guide you.

“I don’t think you should stay,” you said firmly. “It’s not fair. Why should you keep giving your life to a system that doesn’t even value the people who fight for it?”

Nanami looked at you, surprised by the intensity of your tone, but didn’t interrupt.

“Look at what they did to my parents,” you continued, your voice rising slightly. “They fined them for using my technique—to help people! What do you think they’ll do to you, someone they see as nothing more than a tool? They’ll drain you dry, Kento, until there’s nothing left. And then what?”

He swallowed hard, still silent.

“You’re incredibly smart,” you said, your voice softening. “You don’t need this. You could go to university, study something you’re passionate about. You always talk about books. Maybe literature. Anything. But staying there? For what? For who?”

You cupped his cheek, gently turning his face so he would look at you.

“Your opinion isn’t completely objective, is it?” he asked quietly, a small smile playing at his lips.

You glanced away, feeling exposed.

“No,” you admitted. “It’s not. I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered. “And if you stay there, I feel like I will. Sooner or later.”

Nanami was quiet for a long moment, your words clearly weighing on him. Finally, he nodded slightly.

“I’ll think about it,” he said. “But… it’s not an easy decision.”

You leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his forehead, hoping to convey what words couldn’t.

“It doesn’t have to be easy,” you whispered. “But you don’t have to make it alone. I’m here, Kento. Always.”

Though he didn’t say it aloud, the look in his eyes told you that those words meant more to him than you could ever imagine.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

The energy of the day buzzed in the air. Flowers, speeches, and the chatter of excited students filled the auditorium. As you stood among your classmates, you couldn’t help but scan the crowd for the blonde boy you loved.

Nanami wasn’t at his own graduation. He’d deliberately skipped it, knowing the ceremony held no meaning for him. But your graduation? That was different.

When you returned home with your diploma in hand, you found Nanami waiting at your doorstep with a small chocolate cake. It was simple, understated, but what left you speechless were the words written in vanilla frosting—“Congratulations”—spelled out in your parents’ native language.

“Kento… Did you make this?” you asked, your voice filled with emotion.

He nodded, holding the cake with pride.

“I knew you’d like it,” he said calmly. “And I thought your parents would appreciate it even more.”

Your mother emerged from the house at that moment, gasping as she took in the sight.

“What a beautiful gesture!” she exclaimed, pulling Nanami into a warm hug.

Your father smiled, though he added teasingly, “It better taste as good as it looks, young man.”

“Dad…” you scolded, embarrassed, as Nanami’s typically composed expression faltered just slightly, a faint redness creeping up his ears.

The evening was filled with celebration. Your mother had prepared a feast, the dining table overflowing with traditional dishes.

Nanami leaned over as you poured him a glass of water. “Does she always cook this much for occasions like this?”

You smiled. “My mom thinks food is the best way to show love.”

As the meal progressed, your father set down his glass of wine and looked at you seriously.

“y/n, we’ll support whatever you decide,” he began. “But are you sure about nursing? In Japan, nurses don’t earn as much as they should. Have you thought about studying medicine instead? You’d earn more, and you’d never have to worry about anything.”

You rolled your eyes, placing your utensils down.

“Dad, we’ve talked about this. I want to be a nurse. I don’t care about the money—it’s my dream. Didn’t you always tell me to follow my dreams?”

Your parents exchanged a glance, and you could almost hear their unspoken thoughts: We're going to have to keep giving her money for the rest of our lives.

It was then that Nanami, who had been quiet the entire time, set his glass of water down with a deliberate clink.

“I have something to say,” he began, his tone steady and commanding attention.

Your parents straightened in their chairs, and you turned to him curiously.

“I’ve made a decision,” he said firmly. “I’m leaving the world of sorcery. I’m walking away.”

Your eyes widened in shock as his words sank in.

“Are you serious?” you exclaimed, a grin spreading across your face. “Kento, that’s amazing—”

“Wait, really?” your mother interjected, her voice tinged with concern. “But Kento… are you sure? It’s such a big change.”

“It’s something I’ve thought about for a long time,” he admitted. “It’s what’s best for me.”

Your father dramatically placed a hand on his forehead. “No sorcery? Our future grandchildren won’t find interest in it. It’ll be tough for them with parents in such… ordinary professions.”

Your face burned with embarrassment.

“Dad! We’ve only been dating a few weeks!” you blurted out.

Your mother laughed softly. “To us, it’s been two and a half years,” she teased.

Nanami looked down at his plate, but not before you caught the faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Can you guys not?” you groaned, but they only laughed harder.

After dinner, you and Nanami went for a walk to clear your heads. The night breeze was cool and refreshing, the sky clear and dotted with stars.

“So,” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence, “what do you want to study in college?”

He paused for a moment before answering.

“Finance,” he said.

You stopped in your tracks, looking at him like he’d just suggested becoming an astronaut.

“Finance? What happened to literature? You love books!”

He shrugged, a small smile playing at his lips.

“I also love making smart decisions,” he said, slipping his hand into yours. "I want to make sure you never lack anything," he explained calmly. "I want you to be able to follow your dreams without worrying about anything else."

Your cheeks flushed as you processed his words.

"Also," he continued, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, "I liked what your parents said about grandkids."

You were left breathless, warmth rising from your neck to your ears.

"Kento..." you whispered, unsure of how to respond.

"I imagine a future with you," he said, his eyes locking onto yours. "I'll work hard, earn enough to retire young, and you can keep working if you want. You won't have to worry about the details—"

You silenced him with a sudden kiss, your heart pounding.

"That doesn’t matter now," you said softly. "I just want to be with you."

And under that starry night sky, with his fingers intertwined with yours, Nanami knew he had made the right decision.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

Nanami's lips curved into something between a smile and a grimace. A message from Gojo.

Nanamiiiii,

Even though your coldness is unbearable, I’m going to miss you. But I’d rather miss you than see everything go to hell, so go ahead and live your boring college life. I’ll handle the dirty work (as always).

P.S. When you get tired of “normal” and want to come back to the interesting side of life, I’ll be here. But I doubt someone as bitter as you can handle how much fun it is working with me.

P.P.S. At least tell me that girl’s worth it. How is it we still haven’t gone out, the three of us?"

Nanami sighed and set his phone aside. He could read between the lines: "I don’t want you to end up like Geto." Though Gojo expressed himself in his uniquely ridiculous way, his words reminded Nanami why he had made the right decision.

"What’s wrong?" you asked, noticing his distant expression.

He shook his head, bringing his attention back to you. "Nothing important. Just Gojo being Gojo."

You leaned closer, curious, but before you could insist, you exclaimed excitedly, "Oh! I got the waitress job!"

Nanami raised an eyebrow. "Full-time?"

"Yes," you replied enthusiastically. "Once we start college, I want to find my own place and live alone."

His expression shifted, growing slightly more serious. After a few moments of silence, he said, "What if we lived together?"

Your smile faltered. "Kento, that’s really sweet of you, but no."

Nanami frowned, clearly affected by your response. "Why not? I thought… it’d make things easier for both of us. We’d be together."

You took his hands in yours, smiling at him gently. "I want to know what it’s like to live alone. I need that space to grow as a person. It’s important to me."

Nanami nodded, though his eyes held a flicker of sadness. "I understand. But I won’t blame you if you change your mind."

Six months later, you both started college. Nanami had changed his appearance—his hair was shorter and slicked back, and he often wore dress shirts and jeans. His mature, polished style didn’t go unnoticed.

In the hallways, you noticed the stares he received, from both women and men.

"They’re looking at you again," you whispered, slightly annoyed, as you walked together to the library.

He glanced at you with a faint smile. "Are you jealous?"

"No, of course not," you replied, though your furrowed brow said otherwise. Still, you couldn’t help but feel proud. You knew that no matter how many looks he got, he was yours and yours alone.

Despite your busy schedules, exam weeks were always different. It had become a tradition to study together, either at your place or his.

Well, studying was the initial plan.

Night had fallen, and your apartment was quiet, save for the rustle of notes scattered on the floor, forgotten. You and Nanami were on the couch, completely absorbed in the moment. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that left you breathless, his careful hands gripping your waist, pulling you closer.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing it up, as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He kissed you with a slow, deliberate intensity, as if trying to memorize every sensation. His lips moved with a restrained passion that felt ready to overflow at any moment.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, but he didn’t let you move far. His mouth trailed down to your neck, leaving a path of heated kisses that sent shivers through your body.

"Kento," you murmured, trying to sound firm, though your voice came out shaky. "We should be studying."

"I can’t focus," he murmured against your skin, his voice low and laden with desire. "Not when you’re this close."

You tried to pull away, but he cupped your face with both hands, gently guiding you to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with a mixture of tenderness and need that always left you defenseless.

"Let me stay like this a little longer," he confessed, his tone almost pleading.

You were just as lost in him—in the way his hands traced your back, slowly moving up to your shoulders, as if rediscovering you. His lips found yours again, this time with a softness that contrasted with the earlier intensity but was just as overwhelming.

"Kento," you tried again, with little conviction. "The exams…"

"I love the way you say my name," he whispered against your lips, a small smile forming. "There’s nothing more important than this right now."

His hands slid back to your waist, holding you with a firmness that made you feel both secure and deeply desired. You gave in to the moment, letting him guide you, feeling the weight of books and responsibilities melt away.

A soft gasp escaped your lips when he brushed your cheek, and the sound made him pause for just a moment. He looked at you, his expression now softened by overwhelming tenderness.

"Do you know what you make me feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible but heavy with emotion.

"What?" you managed to ask, still trying to catch your breath.

He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment, as if anchoring himself in your presence. "That no matter how much time we have, I’ll always want more of you. It’ll never be enough."

Your hands caressed his face, tracing the lines of his jaw as you gazed at him with equal intensity. "I love you," you said, letting all your reservations fall away.

He kissed you again, this time softer, as if your words had soothed the fire within him—though only slightly.

Finally, you were the one to create some distance, though your body was still trembling. "Hey, handsome," you said with a nervous smile. "If we keep this up, we’re going to fail our exams."

He sighed with a faint smile, smoothing his hair. "Fine," he said with resignation. But before you could move, he added, "Though I want it on record that I’m against stopping."

Blushing, you began gathering the notes scattered on the floor. Nanami watched you, his gaze still full of adoration and desire. He couldn’t help but think how much he wished time would stop when you were like this, together.

ㅤ♡ྀི ₊

The years passed quickly. Both of you graduated college. You found a job almost immediately at the hospital where you had completed your volunteering, excited to begin your specialty in palliative care.

Out of respect for Nanami, you decided not to use your cursed energy technique anymore. You knew he appreciated that gesture more than he let on.

Nanami, on the other hand, entered the world of finance and quickly excelled as a stockbroker. His success surprised no one; he was meticulous, efficient, and dedicated.

One sunny afternoon, Nanami invited you to look at apartments. He insisted it was "just for fun," now that he was considering moving closer to his office. You went along, thinking it would be a casual distraction from your routines, but as soon as you arrived, you were taken aback.

"This place is... incredible," you said, your eyes taking in the sleek, modern facade. "Are you sure this isn’t out of your budget?"

He gave you a faint smile, the kind he reserved for moments when he was about to surprise you. "Let’s go inside and see."

Stepping into the apartment, your eyes widened. The space was bright and open, with large windows that let in warm, natural light. The kitchen was modern, with impeccable finishes, and there was a spacious living area and a small balcony with a breathtaking view. You walked slowly, admiring every detail, while Nanami followed quietly, watching you intently.

Finally, you stopped at the balcony, gazing out at the city with a soft sigh. "It’s perfect. It’s… too perfect."

Nanami approached, resting a hand on the balcony doorframe. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," you admitted with a smile. "If this is what you’re looking for, I think you should go for it. It’s amazing."

He cleared his throat, clearly nervous—a rarity for him. "I want to get this place, but not just for me."

You turned to him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Nanami slid his hands into his pockets, as if seeking something to steady himself. Then he looked up, his eyes locking onto yours. "I want us to live here together. You and me."

Your heart skipped a beat.

Nanami took a deep breath. "And this time, you can’t say no."

You frowned, confused, but before you could respond, he pulled a small black box from his pocket and opened it. Inside, a simple yet elegant ring sparkled in the golden light of the setting sun.

"Because I don’t just want us to live together," he said, his voice lower but steady. "I want to build a life with you. I want this to be our home. I want you to be my wife."

Your mouth fell open in a soft gasp, tears welling in your eyes. The silence stretched between you, not because words were lacking, but because the gravity of the moment spoke for itself.

"Will you marry me?"

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔.:･･:.ೃ࿔.⋆❀°

pt. 1 - pt. 2 - pt. 3 - pt. 4

Reader meets Gojo

[whumpsoda]

WSFSP - Chaos

Masterlist

Might delete this later!

cw: pet whump, box boy universe/bbu adjacent, institutionalized slavery, romantic whumpee, conditioned whumpees, multiple whumpees, drugging mention, abuse mention, dubcon mention

——————

“Hi.”

Joey almost didn’t hear him, ear pressed to the speaker of her radio, but she saw him. Wesley was tall and lanky, something hard to miss when he was standing right in front of you.

For a moment she wondered where Graham was, always two steps behind, but realized he was more than likely still in bed. Wesley liked to sneak out alone in the early hours of the morning.

Picking up her head and resting it in the palm of her hand, she strung up a smile. She was ever so good at pretending those. “Hello.” She lightened her voice, bubbly as her ma’am would have liked it.

He didn’t seem comfortable with that. “Can I… can I sit? Please?”

“Yes.” The rest of the sentence - whatever you like - was left unsaid, yet still there in a way, like he knew she’s gritting it back. It was probably sat right there in his throat too, waiting to be set free.

He knelt in the chair, knees bumping on the wood, sat uncomfortably. She was never like that herself, her ma’am always kind enough to allow her on the furniture, but she recalled Florence doing the same.

“Do you always listen to the radio?”

“Kind of.” She said, with a nod. “A lot of the time.”

Nicely Wesley flashed a smile, a pet smile, crooking his head in her direction. “You change the- the um… the station a lot. Why?”

“I’m just…,” biting her lip she turned away, “just looking for something.”

“What is it?” He pressed, resting his chin on his arms, crossed over the table. He seemed interested, curiosity painted over his expression. An innocent curiosity, not stemming from a rotting place of malice.

“My lady.”

“Oh.” He said, rolling that around in his head for a moment, before nodding. He refrained from looking her in the eye. “I- I kind of thought that.” Wesley paused for a moment, his lack of social skills obviously not preparing him for what to continue with. “Do you think you’ll find her?”

Tipping her head, she shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Do you want to?”

“I’d rather not answer that.” She wasn’t so sure she had a satisfactory answer, or any answer at all. Definitely not one that could be put into words.

He bit at his lip, fingers curling into fists.“Sorry. Sorry.”

“You’re fine.”

“I don’t know if I want to see my sir again.” He said, quick and nearly a mumble, working his jaw.

“Mm.”

“I miss him… a lot. A lot, a lot. I think.” Gaze glazing over, Wesley had a little glint in his eye that made him look as if he was about to cry. “Do you think he would hate me now? If he knew I let you guys take me away and… and make me this?”

“I dunno.”

“I… hope he wouldn’t. I don’t like it when sir is mad at me.” Then he sounded like a child, one wishing their parent would not be angry with them instead of a human pet with a sir.

“I don’t think any pet wants their owner mad at them.” Joey’s smile was gone then, dropped in favor of the circumstances. “My ma’am… she got scary when she was angry. Violent.”

He lit up, almost with a strange excitement. “My sir, um, he made me lick his shoes once.” Giggling at his own words, it was out of place, but she was not unnerved.

“My lady liked to force me to eat until I threw up. Like cake and stuff. I hate cake.”

“My sir,” he was chuckling just thinking about it, “he’d give me this medicine that made me feel all weird and sleepy, and then dress me up funny. I can’t remember anything after that.”

Swallowing, she curled his hand into hers. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Wesley. You didn’t deserve any of that.” She thought maybe it was something he needed to hear, sounding just like Isaac.

He was surprised by that. “But- but it’s funny… I was bad. I didn’t mean to-,” his lip trembled as he paused, holding himself back. She tightened her grip on his hand, and he copied her in return.

As he blinked back tears she said, “It’s okay, you can cry.” And he did just that.

A moment later, “Wesley?” Graham called, words shaky, rushing out from their room until he found his companion. Soon enough, he switched to Joey. “Why is he- what did you do?”

“We were just talking, Graham.” She said, as calm as she possibly could with a beast baring his teeth at her.

He didn’t believe her, not one bit. “Did you- have you hurt him? Is he hurt? What did you do?”

Rufus stood to his feet, reaching out a hand in his best attempt to calm Graham down. “She- she didn’t-,”

“Hey-!” He picked her up by the armpits, pinning her to the wall. “I didn’t-!”

“Tell me what you did!” He shouted this time, Joey blinking as bits of spittle splattered onto her scrunched expression.

Her hands were gripped to his arms, wriggling her best out of his hold. “Calm the fuck down!”

“What’s going on?” Florence entered the scene then - Otis hanging back behind the doorway - rushing in wearing pajamas, eyes falling wide as they settled on the fuss. “Get off’a her!”

Wesley looked between the group, fear clearly stuffing up his face. “Please don’t- he’s just confused-!”

“Don’t touch him!” Graham snarled at Joey, blinded by aggression, shoving Florence away and allowing her to slump to the floor.

”Don’t fucking touch her!” Florence, a good deal smaller than Graham, continued to stand his ground as the newer rescue let a growl rumble from his throat.

The front door slammed shut, bags of groceries disregarded swift to the countertop. “Hey, hey, hey! What are you people doing?” Isaac threw herself between them, both Florence and Graham backing away.

Joey bit her lip, rubbing at her shoulder. Florence and Graham were staring daggers at one another. Otis looked on the verge of tears.

“I was,” Wesley started, brushing away at his tear stained cheeks, “with J- Joey, and Graham thought she hurt me ‘cause I was crying, and-,”

“Yeah, and he fucking attacked her!” Florence threw his hands in the air, yelling.

“Hey! Wesley’s speaking, please show him some respect-,”

Isaac made a mistake. A grave one at that, palm clamping right over her mouth with a hitch of breath.

All five rescues dropped to the floor, all in the same position, each rigid and stone cold as they pressed their foreheads to the wood. Sucking in a breath, each rescue rushing through the horrors in their head, the air fell silent.

Hey, pet. You think you’re all that ‘cause my momma liked you? Do us all a favor and give me my rightful respect.

Don’t you dare ever speak to me that way, dog. You’re a fucking animal that needs to learn the basics of respect.

You don’t want to, Princey? Really? And when have I, or really anyone for that matter, ever cared what you wanted? I think you should show some respect.

You’re just a dirty mutt with rocks for brains, and I’m sure you’re aware. Do you want to go back in the dog house, or are you ready to learn to respect?

I’ve given you everything you could ever ask for, Buttons. All these sweets, a home, a name, and that is what I get? Show some fucking respect.

“God fucking dammit.”

——————

Masterlist

Taglist - @softvampirewhump @ivymyers @taterswhump @octopus-reactivated @tippytappytyping

@distracted-obsessions @starfields08000 @bitchaknso @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @scoundrelwithboba

@whumped-by-glitter @whumpering-heights @arlin-always-writing @bilightningwhumper @sharkyydoesnothing

If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)