#there's a comic ish that deals with this idea i believe but i haven't read it yet

[aliusfrater]

in relation to whether or not john would have killed or attempted to had he not died in 2.01, i think john himself was already living with the impression of/duty relating to the idea that he'd have to either save sam or kill him from whenever he'd found out about the special children and that sam was a special child to the point at which he passed on this revelation to dean. so the question becomes moreso akin to dean's own season two conflict after the job of 'save him or kill him' has been passed on: what is john's own dichotomy of monstrosity? as patriarch, is it or is it not it capable of being stretched to fit sam within the ideal of what is not monstrous (evil)? and the thing is that i feel like the remainder of the first season, as well as 2.01, past the point at which john is made aware of sam's abilities answers this for you: sam was capable of fitting within what john considered to not be monstrous/john did stretch the dichotomy of monstrosity to fit sam within those who are innocent/the victim because even with his knowledge about what happened to sam, he did not attempt to kill sam.