#there's REAL people experiencing REAL homophobia y'know

[aceoflights]

Alright, so, exactly one person said that I should do a long post about my thoughts on this scene. And that's literally all I needed. So, here I go, I guess. I'll try to be coherent.

This scene (and honestly Colin in this episode in general) really hit something deep in me as a queer person. I think it touched on something that I haven't seen a lot of media touch on in that way, but that I and a lot of other queer people have experienced

So, let's get into the scene, specifically Colin's reactions to everything.

I couldn't find gifs for everything I'm talking about, so here's the scene.

At first they're just talking about how cool Zava is and how much they admire him. And everything is fine. Until Richard calls Zava sexy, and Isaac's response is "Sounds a bit gay, bruv". And yeah, he's not saying "I hate gay people". But look at him and how he acts. He says it with a laugh. In a "you're being weird" way. Now, my point here is not to say that Isaac is homophobic. He is however referring to being gay as kinda weird, funny and almost a bit absurd. Y'know, the kind of jokes straight people make when they think there are only other straight people in the room. This is what closeted people live through every day.

I'm actually gonna put some tags from one of my other posts here. Because, yeah, exactly.

#I watched a few cishet reactions to the episode and #the way they Did Not understand the locker room scene #like that wasn't a funny 'joking with the gay guy' moment #that was a moment of 'we are all straight and the joke IS a gay guy' #like Colin is living in that liminal space of #okay maybe they aren't outright homophobic but they sure aren't openly accepting #and any change to that status quo may potentially make things Very Dangerous #so he just Isn't going to challenge that at all (@king-kal)

#stop acting like its all okay #this is exactly what makes it terrifying to come out #and what gaslights people into believing thier pain isn't real #because yes theres more blatant and explicit homophobia out there #but this does real damage too #and its fucking hard to know where youll be safe when the people around you give no indication that theyd accept anyone queer (@not-a-cheese-thief)

#however much they love him there has been absolutely nothing about them in relation to queer people that indicate they’d be #supportive and accepting #you really just never know which is partly why coming out is so terrifying (@theoneandonlypigeon)

Now, let's have a look at Colin. As soon as Issac says that, he has Colin's full attention. He turns his head, his eyes are on Isaac. And he looks kinda scared. Anticipating. He's listening intently.

When you're closeted, and the topic of queerness is mentioned, especially if someone who matters is around, like a friend, you pay attention. You pay attention to what they say, to how they react. To figure out what they think about queer people. What they would think about you if they knew. Would they treat you differently? Would they start to dislike you even? Or would they maybe be supporting?

As a closeted queer person you can never be sure if you're safe. As some of the tags above have pointed out, nobody is saying anything overtly homophobic here, but nobody is saying anything to indicate they would be supportive either. So really Colin doesn't have any more information about how they would react to him coming out than he did before.

Then Richard says "Well I'm gay". And everyone turns around to him and is like "huh?". Except for Colin. Colin doesn't turn around. He actually turns more forward. He tilted his head in Richards direction when he started talking. But when he finished his sentence Colin looked straight ahead. And imma be honest here, I'm not really that good at analysing facial expressions, and this might well be me overanalysing. But the way I'm reading what's going on here is the following. Colin actively faces forward to not seem that interested in Richards possible gayness. his eyes also widen and then tart around for a second. Which to me reads as, like, "wait, what? could there actually be another queer person on the team?".

I'm not gonna get into Richard actually being possibly gay. Here's a post about that, if you're interested. (Not saying that's what I believe necessarily, but I saw the post and felt it necessary to include)

Then, of course "for Zava". And Colin laughs. But holy shit it's such a fake laugh. Like, I'm serious, watch that scene again and pay attention to Colin's laugh. It it so fake.

While they're talking about "men with charisma that transcends orientation", nothing all that interesting happens.

And then, Colin's joke.

Immediately after he finishes his sentence, he looks anticipating again, in a slightly different way. A short moment of "should I not have said that? Could it give them a hint about me?". Then the others start to laugh and Colin smiles along. He's accomplished his mission. He's blending in. He's a chameleon.

[rollercoasterwords]

i just want to say thank you so much for your post about even loving parents (and people) being homophobic bc this fandom lately is so so reductive towards those kinds of realistic portrayals, acting as if their creators are “wrong” when in actuality a majority of us live through these experiences and can find comfort in fiction that works thru them! as someone who grew up religious i ADORED your atyd sirius pov for exploring internalized homophobia so honestly. it made me feel seen and struck such a chord of truth. like yeah they’re wizards but also voldemort’s whole thing is hating people for things they have no control over so acting like inequality that doesn’t exist in the wizard world either is not the end-all solution some people think it is. anyway love you. ❤️

anon!!! thank u so much 💓

i think that parents post struck more of a chord than i was expecting it 2 strike lol like. i will say i think the majority of people in the fandom are like. normal abt letting fic writers write what they want etc but! it does suck that there is like. this small and annoyingly vocal portion of people who are just....really weird about homophobia in fanfiction lol.

like my post was specifically abt portrayals of parents but there does seem to be a vocal minority (although mostly not on tumblr thank god) who act as if choosing to write about homophobia when u could choose instead to write a fantasy world where it doesn't exist is like...morally depraved bc it's "unnecessary"

and i definitely got like. a lot of that sentiment when i was writing atydsp!! which is obviously just my personal interpretation of the character and not meant to be taken as anything more than that, but like--i'd always read sirius as a deeply closeted gay man with intense internalized homophobia in atyd, and that's part of why i wanted to write abt his character in the first place. for me it was incredibly meaningful to explore the story of a character raised in a homophobic environment by homophobic family, who struggles with internalized homophobia in ways that are messy and sometimes even hurt the people close to him. and it was honestly really disheartening to get so many comments along the lines of "ugh sirius is being so stupid and annoying" bc i was just like....this is all very real to me. and largely based on personal experience. and it sucks seeing people brush it off and go "but they're wizards why can't u just make him accept that he's gay!!!"

and it's also like. i understand why someone might not want to read about homophobia, and that's totally fine! u can seek out fics where queerness is totally accepted and filter out homophobia and do what's best for ur own mental health, y'know? but for me, personally, i actually tend to avoid stories where homophobia is just magically erased. and again, that's down to personal preference (i am by no means saying one type of story is better than the other; i think they are both equally valid + i'm glad both types exist in all their variety on ao3) but even if i'm reading about magical made-up universes, i think that like.....for me, so much of my experience as a queer person has been shaped by the homophobia of the world around me. and i'm not saying i think that's all that being queer is (of course it's not!!) and i'm not saying every queer person will feel the same (and like....if ur a queer person who's never really experienced homophobia in ur personal life then that's awesome!! happy 4 u!!), but that struggle has been such a fundamental part of my queer experience that i really have a hard time relating to characters who don't share it. reading about characters who never experience internalized homophobia and whose family + friends are totally accepting honestly just makes me feel worse bc it's so far removed from my own experience, whereas reading about characters who do have homophobic family/friends/environments/etc is actually something i'm able to find comfort in.

anyway this turned into a whole essay but!! i'm happy 2 hear that my post (+ my portrayal of sirius) resonated w u 💕 and i do think the majority of the fandom understands + is supportive of people exploring homophobia however they want in their fics; sometimes we just need 2 bitch a little bit on tumblr abt the annoying people who aren't lol

[thestobingirlie]

(Same anon complaining about fruity four)

Oh my god, the casual homophobia in teens these days, especially from within the community. I'm older genZ, at 25. I have been openly queer for over a decade.

When I first came out all the homophobia I saw/ experienced was from outside the community, casual use of the f and d slurs, using gay as an insult/ synonym for bad, using fruit/ fruity in a derogatory way, and your typical hate crimes/ hate speech.

Now, most of what I see/ hear comes from LGBT+ teens. I have heard teens in a pretty conservative town asking other people (Including adults) if they're fruity. Loudly discussing how strangers are "obviously queer" without caring who is around. And the whole trend of "Is he y'know *limp wrists*?" And the push of micro labels onto almost everyone, who don't want or need to use them.

This links back to the whole "fruity four" thing, because all of these things are used in so many fics for them. Eddie will be limp wristing at everyone. They'll all be describing themselves as fruity. Steve will keep using the word queer to describe his sexuality. Yeah, sure creative liberties and whatever. But it feels unrealistic for a group of teens in the mid '80s. They wouldn't be using all these things that are common in kids now, because they were used in a very derogatory and dangerous way in the '80s. They're teens in a small town in the '80s, they probably wouldn't feel comfortable reclaiming the word queer, let alone half the other stuff they get written as doing when they're written as queer. And they wouldn't be well versed in queer culture of the time, let alone that of today.

i think the reason for this is that these teens are only experiencing queer culture online. the most they get in real life is a commercialised version of pride. all they really know are tiktok comments, where it’s encouraged to imply someone is gay, and loudly discuss what a celebrities sexual orientation might be. outing someone isn’t seen as bad because coming out is seen as a necessity now. i’ve even seen people say that it’s morally wrong and lying not the tell someone you’re gay, which is just insane.

i’ve even seen this post critiquing the word queer because it’s “too vague”… wtf. and yeah! there’s this weird thing where people expect you to totally analyse every aspect of your sexuality and gender and have the perfect word to describe it, and if you don’t totally fit what they think a sexuality is, you’re wrong. and it’s so tiring.

some fics just make it so obvious that they’re writing from a 21st century perspective. like, i’m not saying to write the teens being violently homophobic or anything, but you’ve just got so many st teens treating sexuality with a gentleness and understanding the complexity of it that they just wouldn’t have.

like, robin always knows what bisexual is in fics, she knows the word for it, and she knows exactly what steve is before he even knows. and eddie is flagging and knows exactly what every colour flag mean and he’s a sado dom in small town indiana. and it’s like, get a grip.

i think, when it comes to like robin and steve, it wouldn’t be until they left hawkins, and moved into a city and actually started interacting with queer culture that they would start to refer to themselves with labels. i think in a town like hawkins, where an identity is used to insult you and you really don’t have any other queer people around, it’s harder to just call yourself a dyke or queer. (which is why i love stobin in their 20s exploring queer culture and being able to feel comfortable in themselves and the way they present, because they just really couldn’t do that in the teens).

[datwinky]

I wish I could be in more online trans spaces since I can't really be in them offline but it's such a hellscape.

Any place dominated by trans men and transmascs, they refuse to respect my pronouns and misgender me specifically and pretty much no one else, they refuse to respect my boundaries and god forbid I kindly ask them to not call me dude, they make my identity and what I'm comfortable with a debate, they promote their own body positivity by mocking mine (ex: talking about how they're better than me for having big tits and I'm just jealous of them??), they force me into gender binaries constantly, etc etc. Basically just entirely miserable disrespect of my entire identity. Which isn't even complicated! I'm genderless!!! Agender!!! No gender!!!!!

Spaces dominated by trans women and transfems are no better. They're never been personally disrespectful to me, but any sort of clique with them I stumble into talks about how much they want trans men to die and pretend like they're the oppressors. Genuinely just the most vile revolting hateful shit I've seen lateral violence wise. It's a breeding ground for transphobia, homophobia, and more. It makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about it. Obviously not people I want to be around. Fortunately I've only seen this sort of behavior in like, following circles. Not dedicated servers to it, though I'm sure they exist lmao. Unless you count the WayneRadioTV server which definitely isn't what I just described but one of the rtvs (or whatever you call that group) falls into the category so it's generally not a safe space. On the flip side the circles that aren't full of the worst people you'll ever fucking meet, they've been a lot more tolerant of other people than the transmasc circles. You get the most violent heinous trans-hating trans people on the planet or you get people that joke around and be horny and have some of the best insight on world issues you'll find out there and there's absolutely no in between.

I don't tend to hang out in like.....nonbinary chats of any kind because reasonably that would open me up to being called nonbinary, which is a label I fall under by technicality of not having a gender being out of the binary of man or woman, but not something I identify as or like to be called. Trans servers/group chats I've joined have for the most part been just generally trans OR fandom discord servers where there's like, two cis people.

I have joined a few agender/genderless discord servers though! What those people are like? Well they think we can talk it out with the KKK. A bunch of racist, ableist, etc etc etc weirdos. There's no outright aggressive culture that I've experienced just friendly debate vibes where the people casually drop that they think ALL people are worthy of respect, including fascists.

I hate hate HATE the generalization of trans people and grouping them into different categories of Bad and this is not what this is. This is a pissed off post about my experiences with online trans chats and how it tends to go. Obviously not all trans people are like this. Hopefully not even half of them are! But hey, trans people are people, and people suck. And that sucks!!!!! I would like to be able to hang out with other trans people SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!!

Honestly no online queer space seems to be for me other than the really horny gay servers that people are only in to posts nudes. Places where people don't have real conversations and it's just porn? The worst thing you can come across OR. Just porn. Which is better than the rest. I don't really join mlm discord servers much. I mean I JOIN but I don't stay. It's either full of transphobic cis people, or y'know, the whole paragraph on transmasc dominated spaces. With the added layer of me wanting to be respected as someone totally not a man in any way but identifies as a gay "man" because that's my life experience and that doesn't change just because I'm genderless.

Obviously I hate homophobia. Obviously I hate transphobia. Experiencing these things is always Not Fun. But when it's cis people, even if it's vile, it's whatever. It's horrible. It's horrific. People die because of it. But they're our oppressors. That's part of oppression. It's when it comes from other trans people that hurts so much. Transphobia from trans people hurts far more than homophobia from gay people. Trans people are SUCH a vulnerable group and yet it doesn't stop the members of that group from being just as capable of heartlessness as anyone else. And it hurts. It hurts so much. It's left me jaded. After years and years and years of nonstop transphobia from the people I should have solidarity with, I get nervous when I'm around them. I fear for my mental well-being online. I fear for my safety offline (I've had nonbinary family members try to forcibly out me to their BIGOTED FAMILY as like, a test run for them, for instance. Even though I wasn't even out to those nonbinary people in the first place. This has also happened with mere school acquaintances in an area where I've had people actively try to kill me for being gay)

I'd definitely say offline friendships with trans people tends to be less....... problematic. Though I still have bad experiences like the trans guy I knew through middle and highschool who told me I wasn't allowed to be gay, trans, or mentally ill because that was HIS thing, berated me and pushed me to try to kill myself, mocked me for being visibly autistic, and felt entitled to my body and would sexually assault me/grab my hands and force me to touch his boobs. The rest of the """friend""" group, all trans, would just sit there and watch.

All this to say: boy is it so hard to find good people in this world. And I would like the people who should personally understand just how important it is to be a good person to be some of those good people. But they're not. Not inherently. And not more likely to be, either

[thechromepaladin]

*Hate shows up on my dash/in a tag I follow*

Me: *spits onto hands and rubs them together*

......

Me: *clicks the ‘block’ button on OP*

*Hateful post disappears*

Me: Ahhh! Much better. :3 

[oliverpdaniel]

Let’s talk about casual homophobia.

I wanted to share a transcript of a TikTok video by a minor celebrity (I won't do them the honour of identifying them, but suffice it to say that this individual thrives mostly on controversy and poor publicity), to demonstrate what day-to-day homophobic language looks like. Many of these questions have been asked to me, or tell of real things that I've experienced, due to a generally callous view of queer folks. The quoted parts are the actual video, the unquoted responses mine.

Note in advance that some of these questions are clearly oriented towards gay men, but I am responding from the perspective of a bisexual man. Anyway...

"Okay, these are my questions for the gays – sorry, I was on Straight TikTok for a minute; what?"

Or, as you might like to call it, TikTok. For those unfamiliar, "Gay TikTok" is a small subset of the TikTok community that makes videos primarily revolving around in-jokes and shared experiences of the queer community. Thus, "Straight TikTok" is only extant in contrast, a joking reference to certain, overwhelmingly heteronormative parts of the TikTok community. While I'm not a big fan of the idea of 'ownership' or deciding who's allowed to say what, this (obnoxiously straight, in every sense of the word 'obnoxious') celebrity is trying somewhat unceremoniously to insert themselves into a narrative not their own here. Not off to a great start.

(1) "Would you care if your partner was bisexual?"

Whelp, this is one I can't really answer, can I? But, this still does lean into the old "gold-star" ideology of homosexuality, which makes it off-putting from the jump. For those unfamiliar, a "gold star" gay/lesbian is one who has never had sex with the opposite gender. This is a completely silly distinction, that fails to take into account personal circumstances, as well as – y'know – the fluid nature of human sexuality. TL;DR, even if you're exclusively into one gender, you shouldn't care about your partner's sexual orientation (other than, y'know, making sure it includes your gender) because, leaving aside the absolutely rad underworld of polyamory, they're only going to be into you while they're with you.

(2) "Have you ever been with someone of the opposite gender?"

Ah, more gold-starring! A great way to start. "You're trans? What's your deadname?"

(3) "Do you take offence when a girl calls you her Gay Best Friend?"

The Gay Best Friend is an expendable, non-threatening fount of femininity in masculine form, someone to go clothes-shopping with and who will give you sassy advice on boys. God forbid, however, that the Gay Best Friend try to be vulnerable with you about the difficulties of LGBTQIA+ life; they're only there for sashaying and making out with at parties, right? The Gay Best Friend is an incredibly harmful notion to men on both sides of the sexuality spectrum. Gay (and ESPECIALLY bi/pan/poly) men already know to fear the label, because of the dismissive treatment and expectation of performative homosexuality that comes along with it. Straight men should fight against it, too, because it's a symptom of the present hegemony of heterosexual relationships, which revolves around sexual transactionalism and a healthy dose of gender-role-fuelled intimidation[1]. (If you've never heard any of those words, you're probably the target audience here.)

(4) "Be honest – how many times has a straight person tried to hook you up with a gay person based solely on the fact that they're gay and no other compatibility requirements?" (with a devilish smile, into full blown "oh guuuuuurl" laughter)

This is a real thing that happens to people, myself included, all too frequently. It tells us that when you look at me, you don't think "Oliver", you think "Gay", and next time you meet another gay guy, that's the word ringing through your head. It's not funny. It's hurtful. If you're going to recommend a partner to me, make sure you actually have faith in a connection forming. As someone who ended up in an abusive relationship as a result of overzealous matchmaking, it's not something to be taken lightly; relationships, especially gay relationships and all the societal friction they inevitably entail, are not here for your endearment.

(5) "Are you down to hook up with someone who's 'just curious'?"

MORE gold-starring! God, could you imagine the uproar if a lesbian approached a straight person and said that they "missed dick" and/or wanted to experiment!? Oh, wait, that's already common in straight porn to the point of cliché. Gag; and not the good kind of gag.

(6) "Do you proudly wear the rainbow flag, or are you kinda against it because it kinda segregates?"

...what? When I first found this video, it was being duetted (TikTok's side-by-side video response) by a queer person, and at this point they took the opportunity to say, "I don't like you." I echo the sentiment.

(7) "Are you a 'yaaaaaas kweeeeen' gay or are you, like, 'fuck that shit what the fuck?'"

WE ARE NOT HERE TO PERFORM QUEERNESS FOR YOU. Leaving aside the sociolinguistic aspects of queer language and its intersection with (read: theft from) African-American Vernacular English, if people want to act flamboyantly gay, THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. If people want to act "normal" (read: heteronormatively!!!), that's NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS. Queer people are fucking people, they act differently in different scenarios, and it's not for you to fetishize or to find "too much sometimes". When you accept a queer person into your life, you're accepting every facet of them into your life, for them to live and love unapologetically – not just the parts you find entertaining.

(8) "This might be a dealbreaker for me: do you like musical theatre?"

Yes. But even if I didn't – if I liked drinking beer and watching Nascar (sorry dad), but wish I had a boyfriend to do that with, guess what? That's my own fucking business. And, again, if your idea of a "dealbreaker" when engaging with a gay person is whether or not they like musical theatre – probably one of the most tired stereotypes about gay folks – and not, I dunno, if they're fun to be around and respect your boundaries and opinions, then maybe you're not looking for a gay friend for the right reason.

(9) "Be honest – do you still go through the Chick-Fil-A drivethrough and get that spicy chicken sandwich or those nuggies?" (big, face-scrunching smile.)

This is the one that REALLY got me. This displays just how tone-deaf this person is and how deeply they've objectified the concept of homosexuality for themselves. Chick-Fil-A is a massively homophobic organization from the top down, and they donate millions to organizations that want to bring into question my very right to exist, morally and legally.

As a straight person not affected by these issues, it's easy to say "well, I know I /shouldn't/ go to Chick-Fil-A because of the 'gay stuff', but oh IT'S SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD!". It's easy to momentarily forget one's morality because hey, it's not like you're directly hurting anyone, right? But, as a queer person who has to walk by the brand-new Chick-Fil-A at Yonge and Bloor every day on my walk to class, seeing the lines wrapping around the block lets me take direct measure of who, and how many, are willing to forget about me for just long enough to enjoy a fucking chicken sandwich. Go literally anywhere else. Eating at Chick-Fil-A is a choice, and it's a choice that informs me that you care less about my right to live than your own personal enjoyment.

(10) "Do you get upset when they have straight actors portray gay characters?"

This is a whole other debate, so I'm not going to get into the actual subject matter of this question. But hey – maybe, in an industry literally overrun with queer people, maybe we can stop converting a significant and pernicious problem in entertainment into a cutesy debate topic? Something really tells me that this person isn't going to start whipping out the intersectional feminist literature to explain their argument here. In all likelihood, it'll sound more along the lines of "but Eddie Redmayne looked so GOOD in that dress!"

(11) "And what's the GAYEST thing about you?'

Nope. Shut up and choke. I hate you.

Never tell me for a second that homophobia is "over" in Canada/the West/wherever. Never tell me that it's a distant issue, remaining only in far-off religious backwaters. This is what it can look like. Fetishization; dismissal; turning struggles for human dignity into pseudo-intellectual debates.

I'm not here to be your Gay Best Friend.

I'm not here to date your new gay acquaintance.

I'm not here to repeatedly explain to you my need to have rights.

I'm here for the same reasons you are.

I want to live and love, not to be treated like a toy.

Footnotes

[1] Okay, I'm obviously not saying that all straight relationships are built around sexual transactionalism and intimidation, nor am I saying that non-comphet relationships are not. But, in my experience as a reformed Gay Best Friend who has had to provide counsel to cishet friends over some INFURIATINGLY stupid relationship/courting issues, I would argue that a full ninety percent of them could be resolved if the experiencer simply viewed their partner/interlocutor/'tyng' as another human being, rather than being from the mysterious species that is The Opposite Gender.

[daring-elm]

Enchanted - Chapter II

Masterpost | Spotify playlist | Chapter I

Genre: Fluff with angsty touches

Characters: Roman (Sanders), Logan (Sanders)

Ships: Romantic Logince

Words: 1,970

Warnings: homophobia, alcohol (big big big one, seriously, if this is a trigger this fanfiction is not for you), making out, implied death mention

Taglist: @creativity-killed-thekitten @max-is-tired @heck-im-lost @mintydoesart @sandersfanders

once again, this was beta-read by the incredible @patchworkofstars ! please go follow him, if you aren't already, and check out his fanfics!

Logan paced around his room like a tiger trapped in a cage, muttering to himself.

“Not real, not real, can't be real…”

But it was real, wasn't it? There was no other explanation for what he just experienced.

The prince of England.

Logan had met the prince of England. Logan had met the prince of England and he was beautiful and so kind and…

Logan didn't know how to cope with his feelings. At all. Which is why he faked fatigue, to hide from Roman, from the prince of England and clear his mind.

But his mind wasn’t ready for clarity just yet.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he set his eyeglasses on the table he was pacing around. The bell tower struck two. Logan jumped at the sudden noise, then groaned quietly. He needed to get to bed soon. If he was in bed, sleep might come and banish his thoughts into the subconscious where they belonged.

Logan unbuttoned his jacket and the first layer of shirts, tossing them on one of his suitcases in an uncharacteristically careless manner. It was finally cold enough outside that dressing for parties didn’t feel like torture (though being at said parties still wasn’t exactly his favourite pastime; he preferred meeting people one on one in a space with less noise, less alcohol and less perfume in the air).

He sat down on his bed, unbuttoning the next layer. He didn't have to look at his hands to do so anymore (even though the tiny buttons were awful to deal with; Logan had torn off his fair share of those), so he ended up looking around the room, gazing at the paintings on the wall before focusing on a still life of a messy tea table. Strange, how people could draw their disorder, frame it, hang it on a wall and call it art.

A knock on the door tore him out of his thoughts. Who wanted to speak to him at this ungodly hour?

Logan stood up, cringing as the floorboards groaned under his weight. He opened the door.

Prince Roman stumbled in and fell against Logan, the biting scent of alcohol coating him. How had he even made it here? Logan caught the drunk prince and sat him down on the nearest flat surface he could see, which ended up being his bed. “To what do I owe the honor, your Highness?” he asked.

Roman hiccupped. He froze for a second, seemingly shocked by the noise that left his mouth. “Was thinking about you.” He grinned. “Y'know, you look different without those…” He waved a hand in front of his eyes.

“Spectacles?” Logan tried to help out.

“Yes, those. Without those o-” Roman hiccuped again. “Without those on. You know why?” His speech was slurred the tiniest bit.

“No, why?” Logan attempted to hide his amusement at the prince’s state. But he didn't think Roman would've noticed his grin, even if he hadn’t tried to conceal it.

“They reflect,” Roman stated, swelling with pride. “When they re- reflect, your eyes go away. A shame, really, because they're so pretty.”

“Oh?” Logan felt his face heat up.

Roman nodded, still looking very pleased with himself. “They change colour. In the ballroom, they were still brown, but when we were in the- the tower, they were green.” Roman gasped and hiccuped. “Are you a wizard?”

“What? No, of course not.” Logan furrowed his brow. Maybe it would be best to get his royal Highness back to his chambers and let him sober up a bit.

Roman giggled. “Good, because I don't like wizards much.” He gazed into Logan's eyes. “But I'd probably make an exception for you. Just ‘cause you're so smart.”

Logan hummed in response. He wasn't sure what to make of the whole situation.

“It was so nice of you to show me the constellations.” The last word was slurred completely; Logan had trouble making it out. “Sorry I didn't see them. But you're still a great teacher.”

“Thank you.” Logan decided to sit down as well. He pushed his spectacles to the side and sat on the table next to them.

“But it's no big surprise you know so much about the stars, after all, you always have them with you.” Roman laughed and poked Logan's cheek.

Logan's hand brushed along his face where Roman had touched it. “You mean my…” He trailed off.

“Those adorable freckles, yes!” Roman erupted into even more giggles. Logan's face flushed; the hint of pink from before turned into burning red.

“Thank you, your- your Highness.” Logan let his hand sink into his lap again.

Roman pouted. “Don't call me that.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause it's so formal.” Roman sighed dramatically. “I don't want to be formal around you, I like you too much for that.” He grinned again.

Oh. “I understand.” Logan ran his fingers through his hair. What did Roman mean with “like”? Most likely friendship, purely platonic friendship. Not the scenario Logan was imagining. After all, this mess couldn't happen again, not now, not ever.

“You don't.” Despite his tone, Roman didn't seem angry, more… sad. “You don't understand, you can't. I'm the only one who was cursed to be like this. And that-”

“Wait. Cursed?” Logan couldn't help but move back. Hopefully Roman wouldn't notice.

“Cursed.” Roman sounded like he was about to cry. Logan didn't have the energy to deal with drunken mood swings. He was about to suggest escorting him back to his room when he spoke up again. “I don't know why, but I always have been. I'm cursed to fall in love with-” He stopped mid-sentence; his eyes widened.

Logan's heart was racing. What? He couldn't quite grasp any of Roman's words; none of them made sense. Everything he understood was bound to a hopeless wish, an unrealistic wish, a desperate one. But it couldn't be. “Roman, I'm not sure I understand-”

Roman leaned forward, grabbing onto Logan's hips before wrapping his arms around his waist. While doing so, he launched himself off Logan's bed, stumbling before leaning on his chest. He kissed Logan's cheek first, nearly missing his mouth. Then his lips found their way onto Logan's and Logan was almost entirely sure his heart stood still.

Roman gently bit down on Logan's lip, making him gasp, then pushed his tongue into his mouth. He tasted like liquor and fancy chocolates and something sweet Logan couldn’t name, but it tasted- felt- amazing. Logan forgot how to think, instinctively grasping the cloth of Roman's white shirt like his life depended on it.

One of Roman’s arms snaked its way up his back, then his hand dug into Logan's hair. Manicured nails ran over his scalp, making him shiver and a soft moan escape his mouth. Roman's other arm was still around his waist, tight enough that he wouldn't fall over, loose enough that he could escape if he needed to.

Logan didn't want to escape. This felt… incredible. Warm and safe and captivating and thrilling at the same time. Like… like being set on fire, just in a good way. He couldn't even begin to describe what he was feeling, but it was extraordinary in every sense of the word.

Logan couldn't truly believe this was happening. He had found someone like him. He was kissing someone like him. And that someone was the crown prince of England.

Oh God.

Logan pushed Roman away, gasping for air. Roman fell on the bed with all the grace of a sack of potatoes. He let out a quiet whine. “Sorry.” His face was flushed; he, too was out of breath.

“What? No, don't apologise. I- I don't-” Logan took a deep breath. “I don't mind, in- in theory, but what were you thinking?”

Roman stared at the ground. “You wouldn't understand otherwise.” He ruffled up his hair.

God, Roman really was a mess, wasn't he? A drunk, careless, infuriating mess. But even so, he was a work of art. No matter how dishevelled, he remained a masterpiece, even when he was intoxicated, had just kissed Logan (nearly senseless, Logan couldn't remember ever feeling that much at once) and was now looking so adorably pouty that Logan had to fight the desire to kiss him again.

“Well, I think I understand now.” He took his eyeglasses off the table, placing them on the bridge of his nose and pushing them up with his index and middle finger. “But whatever you think will come from-” He made a vague, sweeping movement with his left hand. “-from this, it won't work. It won't work because-”

Logan took a deep breath. He hated the way he couldn't get his words to flow without preparing them. But he couldn't prepare himself for every situation, so this was something he'd have to work through. “-because we're- we're both men, and men can't be together, not- like that, and even if they- we could, I'll be gone in a week. I have an estate to look after now that my…” His throat closed up. No, Father was not who he wanted to talk about right now. Logan cleared his throat, ignoring how choked up he still sounded. If he kept talking, that would go away, right? “You have to stay here and be the prince and eventually, the king, because no one else will do it for you. You have to marry, Roman, do you understand? You'll have to marry a girl and you can't be- What did you call it?”

“Cursed.” Roman had slung his arms around his knees, curling into a ball. Logan could see a long, thick scar peeking out from under his sleeve. “But it's only a curse because I was alone with it, but if I'm not alone, it's alright!” A warm smile tugged at his lips (Logan could still feel them on his, their warmth, their incredible softness. Roman would make him go insane).

Logan sighed. He was too tired for all these confusing emotions, far, far too tired. “Can we- can we talk about all this tomorrow? We both need to sleep, you need to be sober and I- I just need to think.”

Nodding, Roman uncurled, then stood up, stumbled and was caught by Logan before he could fall. “Oops.” He giggled.

Logan wrapped an arm around Roman's waist, steadying him and carefully leading him towards the door. Roman buried his face in Logan's shoulder. Logan couldn't help but kiss his forehead, burying his nose in Roman's silky, fluffy hair and breathing in his perfume. Roman squeaked and let out another stream of bouncy giggles. “We'll figure something out,” Logan mumbled. “I promise.”

They walked to Roman's chambers, leaning on each other (Roman leaning on Logan more than the other way around), their steps synchronised, their breathing almost the same speed. Logan smiled, glancing down at his companion. Roman had his eyes closed, barely awake enough to lead the way to his chambers, humming a tune Logan didn't recognise. Charming.

After two flights of stairs and too many corridors to count, they arrived in front of a large, decorated wooden door. Roman took a step back, still holding onto the arm that had been wrapped around his waist a few seconds prior. “I'll see you tomorrow, right?” He gave Logan an insecure smile.

Logan nodded. “You'll be alright?” Roman didn't seem sober (or steady on his feet) enough to make it to bed on his own.

Still, the prince nodded. He stood on his tiptoes, pressing a kiss to a group of freckles on Logan's cheek. “Goodnight, Logan.” He walked towards the door, still unstable but at least capable of standing on his own.

Logan blushed. “Goodnight, Roman.” He got another glimpse of the prince's smile, then he disappeared behind the door and Logan was alone again.

[wifwlf]

None of you are even interested in having a constructive conversation like adults are you? Your all reading too far into the words of an autistic woman and assuming malintent and intentional misrepresentation of facts. Nowhere in OP's original post does she say she is talking about people with actual trauma, and in other posts she has made it clear that she has experienced the brunt end of homophobia and transphobia, harrassment, verbal abuse, physical assault, and you're assuming she hasn't based on the phrasing of a single post? You're all acting like dicks over something that can and should be talked about with reason, and I can't believe I'm having to say that to people older than me, it's shameful. I don't completely agree with OP but apparently I have enough sense to know I don't have to hate someone over this. Maybe these "hypotheticals" aren't even hypothetical because y'know some people have different lived experiences than you, I have personally met teenagers exactly like what she is describing. Again, I can't believe I have to say this to actual adults, would you not be ashamed argue like this in the real world when you could have a conversation and *actually* make matters clearer? You're allowed to be mad, I won't lie what OP said was a little inconsiderate, but you are straight up assuming things that were never said

remember "q slur" discourse?

[shownusblackmilf]

y'know it's been stewing in me for a while but it really is irksome how you all equate difference on opinion in small inconsequential matters to difference in opinion on pivotal matters such as human rights, discrimination etc. Not only isit very tone-deaf but it really is not as nuanced as you think it is. Issues such a pedophilia, racism, misogyny, homophobia and transphobia should not hold the same weight as what food you like. In this whole thing with embracing debate and whatnot alot of you seem to forget that there are real people being affected by these issues, and it shows in the way you speak about them as if their existence and their experiences are merely tools to aid your argument instead of y'know people whose differences are systematically used to keep them down. You all seem to forget that your actions are based in thoughts and that no matter restrained you think you are your thoughts WILL manifest in your actions and the things you say at some point. And you all seem to forget that just because YOU aren't feeling the consequences of those actions and utterances doesn't mean they aren't there. All it means is that someone else experiencing them. Tl;DR You can't apply a gray morality to issues affecting human lives.

[ghostgetter]

Why are so many L&G folks against bi and trans people. It's really upsetting, especially since it seems almost permissible and accepted. Like why are people like this??

I dunno. I think it’s an inclusion problem. I wanna say it’s…like homophobia is so deep-rooted and hurtful that lesbian and gay folks are threatened when anyone identifies in their group but isn’t exactly “like them.” Y'know, they feel betrayed otherwise.

I do, however, think you see it more on tumblr then in real life, honestly. I’ve only experienced biphobia from straight people off tumblr. Tumblr’s stupid.

[jackawful]

Y'know considering I’ve only run into “queer is a slur so no one can use it!!! tag for the q-slur!” from anti-ace blogs, I really REALLY suspect it just. comes from the ace discourse

like idt it’s a coincidence. I think aces started calling themselves queer and then anti-aces went “you can’t use that word, it hasn’t been used as a slur against you” and that morphed into “using queer is Bad no matter who uses it it’s not an umbrella term it’s a slur in all contexts lol look at these dumb radikweers”

which, like…regardless of what you think of aces or the LGBT acronym, this is leading to some really nasty denials of history and stigmatizing of personal identities. it’s a lil indicative of a broader discomfort with ambiguity and inclusivity, because “queer” was meant to be inclusive and ambiguous from the moment activists started picking it up in the 80s.

EDIT: Jesus, guys, I didn’t realize I’d have to explicate the entire history of the word “queer” in this post to make it clear that I was talking about this most recent wave of people saying not to use queer. I know that queer was historically used as a slur and in some places is still a slur, I just ALSO know that it went through a long rough process of reclamation in the 80s/90s and has now commonly been used in very positive ways by our irl communities: “queer lit” queer cinema" “queer comix” “queerbaiting” “we’re here we’re queer” “queer studies” “queer history” etc etc etc. I don’t think the ace discourse invented the idea that queer is a slur, I just think this desire to remove “queer” from our collective vocabulary is misguided and harmful.

also, ffs, think before you sling ad hominem attacks at people on the internet. I spent like a year of my life in high school fighting the school board to get a GSA established. I currently do irl community work with my college GSA. I live in a rural area (the closest city only has a pop of like 50,000) and you can bet your ass there’s a lot of real, awful homophobia here. I’m a gnc bisexual who gets misgendered A LOT and who’s had other slurs thrown at her, but I don’t deny people the possibility of using the words that hurt me in their activism because that would be a shitty thing to do.

edit 2: everyone on this post who assumes I’ve never been to the south, encountered a conservative christian, or experienced violence because of my orientation owes me $20

[densoro]

'People don't give a shit about whether you're fuckin!'

Except when my parents thought supporting me meant constantly 'reassuring me' that I'd get over my asexuality, such that my repulsion was treated as a character flaw and I had no tools to recognize the sexual abuse I'd later endure, as my ex tried to fix me. I'd spend years self-traumatizing in search of sex that actually felt good, to try and 'undo' the abuse and make myself a 'normal' person.

Violating an ace person's boundaries is encouraged in our culture. Not just by the individual, but by the support structures of the victim and the perpetrator. Asexuality is seen as not real, and people attempt to prove that to us by force and this is seen as normal.

You're reducing an epidemic of sexual assault to 'getting a hate ask.' No, dipshit, we're talking about real problems. If you're not aware of the violence that ace people face, then you don't get to speak for us. No, the fact that you're demi doesn't change that. Milo Yiannopolous' gay ass says similarly vile and dismissive things about gay people, but he's not allowed to be the last word on gay issues. Your dishonest mouth is not the final authority on ace issues.

Btw, lil history lesson for you: lesbians almost weren't allowed in the community because gay men didn't see their oppression as legitimate. This 'came together to fight homophobia' garbage is a hilarious oversimplification of the rich history of gatekeeping: the truth is that after years of infighting just like this, these groups reached an accord by realizing that they were all being attacked on the basis of sexuality. Y'know who's also experiencing that?

The only reason this discourse shit exists in the first place is that TERFs were angry about yet another identity aside from Lesbian and gay getting visibility and recognition.

That’s it. That was the jumpoff. Same platform for bisexuals, pansexuals, trans folk, NBs, anybody who IDs as Queer. It -all- started with TERFs and you gullible fucks glommed onto it.  

So I’m gonna compare yall to your oppressors. Because it applies.