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#there're more fun ways to be a masochist
pollsnatural · 7 months
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The same poll about Amy is here.
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jameui · 2 years
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CLIFFHANGER
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PAIRING: Park Jongseong, Park Sunghoon, Sim Jaeyun x M!Reader
WARNING: mention of rape, polyamorous relationship, not proof read
GENRE: Angst, Fluff
SUMMARY: Sometimes story can just leave you happy or sad, but sometimes make you question what comes next.
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"Is she really that pretty?" You started a question out of nowhere with your friends looking at you, finding your question a little too unnecessary. It was clear as day that the school prince would never like you even in the most friendly way. All he'll ever see of you was a background character who doesn't deserve a chance to shine. You just exist, but he could care less. It was none of his business to meddle with the lives of other people, so the correct question here was why were you still trying so hard to get him to notice you?
It hasn't been long since you had first realized that you actually have feelings for Jongseong a.k.a. Jay, the captain of the football team. Jongseong always shows off his great talent when it comes to sports, but it's only not in sports that he excels beyond anyone's expectations, but he is also a top student in his class and a hardworking Student Council Vice President, who loves to propose various of projects that could be helpful for the school.
One certain proposed project of his is what was currently happening right now as you sat with your friends in an outdoor table in a shaded area of the campus. Jongseong had the idea to return to the tradition of celebrating the foundation of the school with booths that can help students to feel motivated and inspired to come to their school for their fun events.
Thinking about all of these you could just sigh with a smile on your face, proud of Jongseong even if he never really acknowledged your presence that much. "I really wish Jongseong and SC Pres isn't really dating."
One of your friend, Sunoo raised you a brow. "Hey, it's not your right to guess whether or not they're dating. Besides, there're more handsome guys you can check out." Sunoo replied to you, while he started to scan his eyes over the crowd, on the hunt for a certain man that can make you happy, unlike Jongseong who could never. "Like him!" Sunoo pointed over your shoulders, Niki, his soon to be boyfie, following where Sunoo's finger was pointing. "He looks totally perfect for you."
You turned your body to look at the male Sunoo was pointing only to see that he was pointing at the Student Council President's cousin, Sim Jaeyun. "Him?! Uh—Pft! No! Hello, do you see my face? I'm not even as half as beautiful as a flower."
"And yet you think the day will still come when Jongseong will finally notice you?" Sunoo deadpanned, Niki smiling away and covering the male's mouth to avoid anymore words to come out from him.
You just pouted with your head down, only able to accept the words that Sunoo spat out of his mouth. You were always boasting how you completely had the looks to become Jongseong's boyfriend and continuously fantasized about you giving him the best time of his life as his beloved boyfriend, you getting all red every single time. Sometimes, you just really love to go all in with your imagination that you never fail to hurt yourself over and over again.
This is what Sunoo and Niki always worries about you. You forgot to distinguish your reality over your fantasies. It's hard for them to tell you that your dreams is far from being possible to happen considering how you are always happy with your made up scenarios and they didn't want to ruin your smile. They just hope that you'd never go over the fence as to think that Jongseong really does love you or else you'd be the only one to hurt yourself in the end.
It's masochistic of you to keep on adding salt to your open wounds when you're already getting pretty fucked up by your own family back at home. You really never saw the purpose why it would always happen, but now you just grew to live with it. It's almost like it's already a part of your life. Pain is your bestfriend.
"I don't think I can keep up with my life anymore." You thought out loud, shocking both Niki and Sunoo who, for the first time, heard you speak like that when all you ever speak of is Jongseong and how you like Jongseong. "It gets pretty hard you know to believe that something or someone will actually make my life happier when all I ever get from it is a shot to the heart." You stated out with a small chuckle, laying your head on top your folded arms on the table and closed your eyes for a moment to think about everything that's happened to you.
Midway through your train of thoughts, you were snapped awake and Sunoo seeming to be interrupted before he even got to speak as someone from the booths came to your table. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt anything?" Sunoo smiled at the person and shook his head, before looking down at you. "I'm glad to hear that." They chuckled. "I would like to ask if you guys are interested in coming to our booth? It would really be a big help."
You looked at Niki and Sunoo with your chin still glued to the table, the two looking down at you if you had an answer already, so you just sighed knowing these two always wanted you to have the last say in almost everything. "We'll think about it." You replied and the person grins.
"I understand. When you've finally decided to have our booth a try, you can find us just by the cherry blossom tree. My name's Park Sunghoon, so just ask for me and I'll be there." The male, Sunghoon, gave you a wink and gave you a flyer before he left, you straightening your body up and took the flyer to see it.
You knitted your brows, intrigued. "A hugging booth?" You scoffed and looked up from the paper towards Niki and Sunoo who already looked uninterested just by hearing the name of the booth. "Oh, c'mon. It's just—"
"No." The two cut you off mid-sentence, you raising your hands in surrender and folded the paper to keep it inside your pocket. It's funny to think that they want you to have the last decision, but last minute they will oppose to it. Always.
"If you two won't, fine. I feel interested in these free hugs." You chuckled and told the two that you'll be back as you head your way to where the booth was supposedly located, only seeing the one and only booth that was under the shade of the beautiful tree. You smiled and jogged your way up to the stand, Sunghoon catching you by the side of his eye and turned your way to wave a hand hello at you.
Stopping at the front of the booth you smiled at the taller male who reciprocated the gesture. "Glad you chose to come." Sunghoon stated and looked behind him to see if the booth was already ready to accept customers. Then, from the small dome a head popped out of it and gave Sunghoon a thumbs up indicating that they were all set, so the male turned to look at you. "Come this way, uh.."
"M/n." You replied, Sunghoon nodding his head in acknowledgement.
"Come this way, M/n. Since you're our first customer, everything you do is completely free." Sunghoo gave you a knowing wink that actually made you blush, as you laughed awkwardly, scratching your nape. "Jaeyun is a nice person, so I'm—"
"Jaeyun?!" Your shock took Sunghoon by surprise whilst he nod his head in reply.
He tilts his head to the side and pulled his brows together in question. "Do you have... a problem with Jake?" He felt relief endow him when he saw you give him a shake of your head, Sunghoon putting back on the smile on his face. "In that case, will you be alright on your own now? Where you have to be is just by that dome."
You nod your head and started walking up to the entrance of the mini dome just down the small hill where the booth was found. It was not a far travel down, since the hill wasn't too steep, just enough to be elevated from the ground.
The moment you were already by the entrance, you got in after taking in a deep breathe. The inside of the dome was beautiful and was filed with lovely paintings and decorations that just added beauty to the atmosphere of the place, your mouth falling open in awe. "Woah..." You uttered out, getting distracted by the ethereal interior design of the place almost forgetting that you weren't alone inside until you bumped into something hard, that something hard being someone's chest as you took a few steps back and looked up at the male.
There he is. Sim Jaeyun. The man who first took your heart without him realizing it. You really admit that Jaeyun was a kind person, always thinking about the sake of the others besides himself, but never forgetting that he had to look out for himself as well. All in all he was a completely balanced person.
"M/n! Didn't really think you'd be our first ever customer." Jake chuckled with one hand buried in his pocket before sighing and ruffled your H/s hair that made you knit your brows up at him. "Now, come here." Jake opened his arms for you to lock yourself in between them.
You hesitated to walk up to him at first, but soon loosened up and gently threw yourself into his arms and the slightly older male wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you closer for a tighter, warmer hug. Jake smiled widely, with a small giggle.
It took Jake half a minute to realize that he was feeling a wet patch forming on his chest, then snapping his head downwards to catch your muffled sobs and hands clutching onto his shirt tightly. Jake widened his eyes, frightened and pulled himself away from you, so he could get a complete look of you and just as he expected you were letting tears drip down your face, your head hung low a little. "Oh my! What happened? Did I hug too tight?"
You shook your head at his question and hugged him again. "Please, don't stop hugging me. Everything just hurts, so please don't stop." You told him, your hands clenching your hands on the back of his shirt weakly as you continued to sob and cried on his chest, Jake not knowing what to do.
The small curtain to the dome opens and Jake sees Sunghoon who had a questioning look in his face, Jake averting his eyes up towards Sunghoon, his ears catching the noise of your sobbing. Suddenly Sunghoon's eyes knitted angrily at Jake and mouthed 'what did you do' Jake shrugged his shoulders, before Sunghoon looked back to check if there were a line forming, but sadly their booth weren't that much eye-catching, but still grateful enough since they have nothing to worry about while they take care of you.
Jake wraps his arms around you and caresses your back soothingly to try and calm you down, whispering sweet words into your ears. "M/n, I know we're not that close, but if it's not against your will, do you mind if I hear the reason behind your tears?" Jake asked you in his language, remembering that you came from a foreign country and used English as their native language.
"Mom and dad... they..." You tried to tell him, but your voice continued to get stuck in your throat and all the words you wanted to let out fails to flow out of your mouth.
Jake understood that you wanted to tell him, but he doesn't want to force it out of you so he situated you on a bench being in the middle of the two tall males as Jake waited for you to calm down.
Once your harsh sobbings had finally died down, Jake carefully wiped the tears away from your face, Sunghoon not actually bothered by it and just saw it as Jake being his thoughtful self as usual. "Mom and dad... Jakey, please don't make me say it." You said, the nickname moving past your lips naturally, even though you tried so hard not to call him that anymore.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow looking at Jake, thinking what the hell did Jake know that he didn't know. Judging by the nickname given, he knew there was something between you and Jake. If it wasn't hapoening in the present, it might have been in the past. I mean, it was fine, but he was quite a nosy person and always sticks his nose in someone else's business. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Jake gave you a sad smile and fixed your hair. "I told you many times already that you can stay at my house for a while—"
"Jaeyun." You cut him off, your voice stern, but calm, so Jake won't think that you were angry at him. "Why do you still try to solve my problems? Not even your kindness can—"
"'Cause you're making it clear that all you want is help." Jake answered you, you looking up at Jake, the latter sighing before he hooked an arm around your shoulders. "Listen, M/n. We may have ended things between us after just a year, that won't—"
"Wait, you had history with M/n?!" Sunghoon gasped, then putting two and two together, that's when it hits him. "Oh, that's right! I remember now!" Sunghoon exclaimed, before he was able to read the expression on your face.
"It didn't end too well." You replied with a broken smile.
No matter how hard you try to deny that you and Jake had been in a relationship a few years ago, you just can't help yourself, but to let whatever you were used to doing with Jake slip your tongue. It's so hard to deny that you were happy with him when all he ever done to you was bring light and joy to your life, memories that was worth treasuring, nights to remember. Everything Jake did for you made it so hard for you to just let go of him so easily. You still love the male and you tried to distract yourself by laying your eyes onto somebody else.
If you could describe Jake in one word, that would be 'loyal'. Truly, he was as loyal as a dog that even on that one rainy day where you ditched him and told him over the phone that you were breaking up with him, he stayed on his spot and waited for your arrival. Poor Jake, he didn't even think that you were genuine when you told him that you were breaking things up with him. He just thought it was a prank from you, so you could prank him when you arrive.
Alas, the sun started to set and Jake was still seated on his spot, still waiting for you, the bouquet of flowers in his hands slowly dying as petals started to rip itself off from the base, but Jake's trust in you to arrive never faltered.
Jake didn't know the reason why you had to say it just by over the phone when you could have told him personally. It hurt him the most, but if it did hurt him why did his heart still want to choose you? All it ever wants is you. Every single time, he fails not to think about your beautiful smile and gorgeous face. It was ethereal. He just misses you so much.
A few months in and he was still in question why you had to let him receive such a painful phone call from you. Did he do something bad to you? If he did, you could have just told him and he'd fix it immediately. How could you just leave him hanging like that? Wondering why you would do such a thing.
Fortunately, Jake was not the type of person to hold grudges, so that one day when he saw you clinging on to the Student Council Vice President, he was happy to see that you were just doing alright, even when he couldn't. It was both a joyful and painful sight to see you being happy with another guy besides him.
"M/n... I.." Jake started, but closed his mouth before the words can even come out.
Sunghoon was able to notice the awkwardness between the two of you and decided to break the ice, getting a little bit caught in the drama you and Jake were having. "Hey! Maybe we can all be friends.. uh, again? Anyways, I found a sushi place dow—"
"Don't bother, sunbae." You calmly cut Sunghoon off his words, not wanting to waste his voice over something you would never want to happen. You smiled at him gratefully. "The offer is kind enough, but I'm afraid I won't be able to go." You said and stood up from where you were sat.
"Oh..." Sunghoon let out, his face going droopy with a small pout on his lips. "Well, then..."
You gave Jake one more glance and after that, you started to make your way out of the small dome, Sunghoon following close behind you since he was in charge of guarding the booth.
Upon leaving the booth, there stood Sunoo and Niki who was already waiting for you just a few distances away from the booth, Sunoo rolling his eyes with a sigh of relief. "Finally. Thought you were going to be in there forever."
"Sorry." You told them with a small chuckle, remembering what happened inside the booth.
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A little later after lunch, students were starting to gather around the hall to witness a very special program specially made by the student council members that made you all hyped up and giddy upon the thought that you get to see Jonseong perform on stage. "When the hell is the program gonna start? I gotta see my Jongseong perform!" You whispered to Sunoo who only gave you an eye roll and a smack to your head. "Ow!"
"Learn to limit things that needs to be limited." Sunoo sassed, you mocking him by making weird faces, earning a glare from Sunoo to which you just smiled at.
Soon, the program was had begun and everyone was shouting for the student council associates and cheering them on as they continued to give every student of your school a performance to remember.
There were tons of performances that was created and showcased by the student council members, but all you could ever capture was the moment where Jongseong was requested to dance to a sensual song and of course as a boy who had the biggest, fattest crush on Jongseong you went hysterical when he suddenly lifted his shirt up to show his wahsboards abs that you literally started to tear up at how you were enjoying the sight Sunoo and Niki were just laughing at you telling you how whipped you are for the Vice President, more than ever.
You were on the way of calming yourself down when the voice of the student council president boomed through the loud speakers, you abruptly losing your smile as you snapped your head up towards where she was standing. "And now, for a performance from my handsome cousin, give it up for Sim Jaeyun!" She announced and everyone shouted into fits of joy and bursted out clapping their hands to give Jake a round of applause.
As this was said, your eyes had met hers and you were suddenly brought back to the past. The reason why you had to hurt your own self and Jake, who had nothing to do with everything.
She stood in front of you, her arms crossed against her chest as she smirked down at your body. She bent her knees to level your height, her head tilted to the side. "I tried to tell you calmly, M/n, but you really had to be so disobedient." She said with crazed eyes opened widely, angrily looking down at you. "You brought this upon yourself, fucking slut. So, learn to accept your fate and face the consequences." She told you, one hand swiftly hitting you across your face that got your head turning to the side. "All yours, boys. Make this boy regret for ever existing."
"No! Don't!" You squirmed in your place held bound by the ropes tied to your ankles and wrist, fearing for your life as you tried to get away from them, but to no avail. You watched Minha fade behind the group of men as fat tears poured down your cheeks. "PLEASE! SAVE ME!"
You were brought to reality, the same salty tears from the past falling down from yours as you felt your knees growing weak, as you started to feel yourself fall, but was luckily caught by the person who was behind you. Your head looked at the male and saw Sunghoon smiling down at you with his dimples showing and before he could even help you up, you unconsciously allowed yourself to hug the male, burying your face on his chest as you let your tears flow down your face.
Sunghoon was surprised by the sudden embrace, but his expression softened and took his turn to wrap his arms around your waist, as he gave you all the time you need to cry yourself away, catching the attention of Sunoo and Niki who had both their mouths open in shock.
Drunk in your tears, you lifted your head up, your eyesight being blurred by the fluid in your eyes before you stood up in your tippy toes and pressed your lips onto his that caused the three to become shocked by the action.
You didn't know what got inside your head that you did it. You later realized what you had done when you pulled away and saw the face Sunghoon had, you widening your eyes, also hearing that the noise around the place had stopped. You checked to look at the stage and saw Jake's confused facials, all eyes of those who attended the program was on both you and Sunghoon who had made such a scene in such an open space. Even Sunoo and Niki was shocked that you would let yourself let this happen. "Oh my goodness. I—uh... no... I.." You stammered, your eyes shaking whilst you pulled yourself away from Sunghoon, hesitantly looking up to look at Minha who didn't like what she was seeing. "I... oh no. Don't please. I'm sorry. I—" You tried to form appropriate words, but that day was all you could ever remember, the eyes on you making it suddenly hard for you to breathe.
"You ruined everything for me, again."
To save yourself from getting more humiliation, you pushed through the crowd of students and ran to the the comfort room where you were able to calm yourself down. You got inside one cubicle and locked yourself in, curling yourself up on top of the toilet and before you could even stop it, the trauma you tried so hard to forget came running back inside your head, the pain in your body lingering, the unwanted touches, every single violation they had done to your body, all of it coming back once again. "No!" You screamed, harshly covering your ears as if it would help you ease the situation you were in.
"You made him cry! Stop it!" You heard a voice outside of the bathroom, but it only stopped there and didn't come any closer. "Did you even see how scared he was?"
"I barely even know, M/n hoobae. Why are you blaming all of these on me?" It was Sunghoon's voice and that sassy like voice, you knew it could only belong to Sunoo who only wanted to do nothing to you, but protect you.
Then, another voice was heard. "He's right, Sunoo. We can't just jump into conclusions and point fingers." Niki. The only person who was capable of calming Sunoo down.
You were only listening to the arguments that you got startled when you heard a knock on the entrance door of the restroom. "M/n? Are you in there? We saw you come this way?" Hearing his voice, you couldn't help yourself, but to let your tears burst out of your eyes as you opened the door to the cubicle you were in and walked out of it weakly, Jake furrowing his eyes worriedly as you made your way up to him and gently placed your head on his chest. "I got you, M/n." Jake said, placing one of his hand on the back of your head and caressed your hair to help calm you down.
"...I want to tell you, Jaeyun... the reason I broke up with you." You said over your tears, Jake guiding you to sit you down on a bench near the restroom, your friends and Sunghoon following along. "Jake, it's... all about Minha." You started, Jake knitting his brows as he let you continue. "It's your choice if you don't want to believe me or not, but for a year I've been abused by your step cousin who wanted you all to herself." You continued, facing Jake with glossy eyes. "All because... she loved you more than just a family relative."
"What?!" Jake exclaimed, shocked at the sudden revelation. He knew he couldn't trust Minha. He knew there was nothing good that's gonna happen trying to be around her. "Oh my goodness, M/n. I'm so sorry. Please wake up!"
What?
"Wake up, M/n!"
"Bitch, you better wake the fuck up!"
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You jolted up awake in your own bed and saw your friends standing in a circle, with worried face on their faces. "See? He isn't dead, Sunoo." Niki told the said male who just scoffed and turned his head away from you.
"Babe!" Sunghoon and Jake, two of your three wonderful boyfriends happily calls out to you, Jake on the verge of tearing up that made you chuckle.
"I just had the best and worst nightmare ever." You told them, then the door opens with Jongseong who had all kinds of medicines in his hands frantically picking up those that fell as he held his tears back, but could no longer hold them back the moment he saw you awake.
"PRINCE!" Jongseong exclaimed, bawling his eyes out, running to you to give you a hug. "Sunoo here told us you were poisoned by what I cooked last night and so I got worried and had to.." Jongseong tried to explain as fast as possibke, but his tears had to just stop him and fell like a waterfall from his eyes.
"OKAY! WHERE'S MY FAVORITE BESTIE?!" Minha, your best girl friend stepped inside your dorm room.
"Minha! Oh My Gosh! You won't believe what happened in my dream!" You told her, Jongseong's arms still wrapped around you.
Minha was just approaching you when he saw Jake holding his tears back as best as he can. "Ew, what's Jake the dog doing here?" Jake only glared at him as she rolled her eyes and found a seat on the edge of your bed. "Spill, sis." And so you started to tell them the eventful dream you just had, Minha grossed out by the fact that she was inlove with her own cousin in your dream. "Glad it was just a dream. Stupid Jake seems way out of my type of man and Jake is my fucking cousin. So, that's an ew."
You laughed and was glad that everything was just a dream. ...Really, really glad.
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40sandfabulousaf · 5 years
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Iiiiiiiiit's Thursday here, hello everyone! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊 Things have been hectic at the office and, to top it off, colleagues are coming down with the flu 😷 I did feel a little cold and tired, as though I was about to come down with something. Still going strong so far, thank goodness.
These few days, I focused on:
Mental/emotional relaxation - listening to soothing music after work helps with destressing;
Quality sleep - self explanatory; and
Eating more red meat - red meat has been demonised in recent years but I find it helps me to feel less cold and right now I need it to boost immunity levels.
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Usually when I fall sick, I take it easy where exercise is concerned in order to recover more fully and quickly. Right now, I still feel capable of being active. We Chinese believe in Yin and Yang foods, with the latter providing more 'masculine' energy. So the duck I've been having for dinner helps, as does ensuring I go to bed earlier.
Other stuff took a backseat, including writing here. But then I saw the amazing Amanda LaCount's post and it was so high-energy that it would be a crime not to share!
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She danced to not one but FOUR different songs!!!!!!!! My fave is definitely the first 🤩🤩🤩 This babe's definitely on 🔥🔥🔥
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Exercise helps to start the day right, especially with the adrenalin boost. Despite feeling a little tired in the late afternoon, I'm still able to get through much of the day and clear the work. Hopefully, by taking these extra steps, I'm able to ward off further onset of the flu or catching it. On several occasions, it worked, unless the virus is a particularly strong one.
Also boosting their immunity levels by being active are these curvy babes.
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Really going for that upper body strength is Lorei, expertly utilising all that gym equipment (do not know the names apart from the weights 😂). Don't mess with this babe unless you're a masochist and itching for a broken nose.
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Also going for it using weights are Georgina and...........
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Laura with a medicine ball (that's what those are called, right?).
When it comes to building strength, there's no right or wrong way to do this. Some people lift; others, like me, prefer calisthenics. For example, gymnasts are some of the fittest athletes in the world and they get there by using their bodies as weights and challenging themselves over and over. Check out Olympian Simone Biles and her breathtaking routines on Youtube 😱
If you're interested in calisthenics, Lauren has some pretty good exercises to try out and she makes them interesting too!
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Other curvy babes are easing themselves into the active life with gentler routines like walking, such as what Ify is doing.
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Never underestimate the benefits of this seemingly simple exercise! When I first did this to resume being active a year after giving up sports due to the auto accident injury, I gradually picked up speed over time. I still power walk weekly and the sweat pouring off my body feels glorious 👌
Also gentle is yoga, which works on flexibility, as well as endurance. Alex demonstrates a quick 10-minute routine that anyone can do at home. Perfect for busy folks who have time constraints as well as those too tired to head to the gym after work.
Lastly, of course there's dance!
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Fully working that active wear with smooth moves, a confident smirk and a whole lotta sass!
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Grab your partner or a friend and move it move it 💃 Is it just me or does the babe bear a resemblance to Lizzo? Her smile is so cute!
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The great part about dance is that it can be done anywhere, basically whenever we feel like it. Catchy beat? Time to get our groove on 😉😉😉
Pregnant women can also join in the fun 😃 Plus, let's face it - there're tons of shopping hauls on social media. Adding some shimmying and some hot moves bring a smile to this easily bored ol' bird's face 😁
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There're many ways to get up and get moving and exercise is 1 of the most important branches of wellness where building a more powerful immune system is concerned. This is critical given the current coronavirus situation. Not only that, being active helps to shorten recovery times so that our bodies aren't too battered from fighting viruses.
Whilst it's no use panicking and far better to continue leading our lives like we normally do, we can still take steps to care for ourselves, just in case. As the saying goes, better to be safe than sorry.
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In my case, I do this not only for myself, but for my aging parents too. They don't need something more to worry about when they need to focus on protecting themselves as best as they can. As a family, all of us, including Little Bro and his wifey, have united once more to do our best to get through this trying period as a unit.
And... to end this post, since laughter is the best medicine, I saw this on a friend's Facebook wall and nearly fainted from laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Till the next post, stay sweet! And oh, have a happy weekend too 🤗
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