#there was supposed to be texted but i was drawing on my sisters ipad and her screen protector is fucked up and wouldn't let me

[shartfinz]

hey what if they were friends as kids and they raced boats together and played together and nothing bad ever happened to them 😿😿😿😿

[falcqns]

Mute

Pairing: Chris Evans x Mute!Reader

Summary: You meet Chris for the first time and he doesn’t know you’re mute. All hell breaks loose.

Warnings: angst, chris being an accidental asshole, fluff, sebastian stan being protective

A/N: I based this on a dream I had, as well as my experience with being a selective mute from 2017-2020, and how I communicated and who I spoke verbally to. Hope you enjoy!

Sebastian was shocked when he met you in pre-production for the first post-endgame Marvel movie, and you didn’t speak, instead nodding and using hand gestures that he later deciphered to be sign language. He knew that you were fairly new to the industry, and so approached Joe Russo.

“Hey, Joe. I just had a question about the new girl, Y/N?” He asked, while watching you walk of with your PA next to you. “Sure, what’s up?” Joe responded.

Sebastian cleared his throat before continuing. “I tried talking to her a little bit, but she didn’t speak, instead she used sign language, and I just was wondering if you knew why? Just so I can be better prepared and know how to help her,”

Joe smiled at Sebastian’s request. Being the insanely caring person that Seb was, his question didn’t surprise him. “She’s a selective mute. She does talk, but it is only when she is acting, and she’s an amazing actor. She mentioned to me that she doesn’t speak verbally unless she is very close to the person and trusts them wholeheartedly, such as her family and best friends. Her PA is her best friend, and can help you communicate with her. But, other than that, just get to know her. She’ll probably open up to you.” Joe finished, before patting Seb on the back, and walking off to talk to some production people.

Sebastian looked in the direction that you had gone, and decided to talk to you. You may not communicate verbally with him, but he wanted to get to know you.

Over the next few weeks of pre-production, both Sebastian and Anthony got to know you, and both were insanely shocked when you performed your first scene with them. You delivered your lines like you had been talking all your life, and with the gravity of an experienced actor. They both congratulated you, and you signed “thank you” in response. If any one had any doubts about your skills as an actor before, they had fully dissipated.

When it had been announced that production would be moving to the UK, Seb approached you and Mackie with the idea of renting a place together. You had agreed instantly, glad that you wouldn’t be living on your own in a foreign country all alone, especially since Y/B/F/N couldn’t come along. Living with both boys was chaotic to say the least, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. They gave you the biggest bedroom in the house, and began learning sign language so you wouldn’t have to carry your ipad everywhere for your text-to-speech app.

A few weeks in, you began to speak verbally to both boys. They were shocked when you spoke to them for the first time, but were insanely happy. Seb was almost in tears, recalling that you only spoke to those who you trusted whole heartedly. He had become insanely protective of you, and treated you like a sister, which you absolutely loved.

Everything was going great. That was, until Chris Evans showed up.

He had just finished filming his latest project, and decided to come and visit his two closest friends that he hadn’t seen in a few months. Mackie had mentioned that he was coming, and would be staying in the spare bedroom, and you foolishly assumed that he would tell Chris about your mutism.

But Mackie being Mackie, he didn’t. And neither did Seb, who also thought Mackie had told him.

You hid in your room when Chris arrived, not ready to face him at that point. You ventured out just after dinner time, and grabbed a plate of food before retreating back into your safe haven with the cover of working on an assignment that you had told to Seb. They bought it, and you and Chris made eye contact and shared a wave before you disappeared from sight.

A few days later is when all hell broke loose.

Chris seemed to have a habit of searching you and Seb out. It started off with him walking into our bedroom while Seb was talking to you, and admiring how you’d decorated the place. Yo gave him a small shy smile, which he returned, although there was a hint of confusion written all over his face. Then, you were asking Sebastian for clarification on the Romanian lines that you were supposed to speak the next day, when Chris wandered in to the kitchen. He noticed how you instantly fell silent, and whispered a thank you to Sebastian before you scurried past him. How watched your back retreat, and sighed, but grabbed his the beer he came for before walking into the living room.

It was later that night that you had decided that you wanted to talk to Chris. You hadn’t known him very long, but you felt very safe around him, and everyone had told you how trustworthy he was. You had spent the last 30 minutes hyping yourself up in the mirror before walking out on a journey to find him. You heard his voice floating from the kitchen, and as you got closer, your heart instantly broke.

“I just don’t get what her problem is with me.” You heard Chris say. Another voice, Seb, responded.

“Chris, I don’t think she has a problem with you,”

Chris scoffed. “Yes she does. Why else would she not talk to me, and rush out of a room quicker than she entered when I walk in? She has a huge problem with me. I don’t know why she thinks that just because she got a part in a movie that she can walk around all high and mighty, but I’ve done nothing to her. She’s being a bitch,”

You heard Seb exclaim and start to defend you, but you didn’t stay to listen to what he said, instead running back to your room in tears, your confidence shattered. You grabbed your iPad and apple pencil, and began to draw, an activity that let you communicate your feelings. You wanted to show Chris that you didn’t hate him, and that you didn’t think more of yourself just because you got a part in a movie.

You finished it right before dinner, and kept it in your grip tightly when Mackie called you down for dinner. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you made your way down the stairs, but your face fell, and eyes welled up with tears when you saw Chris wasn’t there.

“Is Chris coming to dinner?” You asked Seb, and he shook his head no sadly.

“No. He’s not in the best mood, but dont worry, he’ll be fine.” He said, as he grabbed his plate.

“Oh, okay.” You said, your voice coming out shaky. You looked down at the ipad in your hands, before walking out the kitchen. Seb followed behind you. Just before you reached the stairs, he gripped your arm, causing you to turn around.

“What’s wrong?” He asked sincerely, and you couldn’t hold back the tears.

“I-I heard h-him talking about m-me earlier,” You whispered, and Seb cursed before pulling you into a hug.

“You heard him,” He said. You nodded before speaking again.

“I drew him a picture and I wanted to give it to him to show that what h-he said wasn’t t-true, and that I’m actually a huge fan of his,” You sobbed into his chest. Seb didn’t move, but waited for your tears to subside, before walking with you upstairs.

“He’ll come around. He had a rough night, although that doesn’t excuse his behaviour. I’ll talk to him, okay?”

You nodded, and curled up in bed. “Do you want me to bring you up some dinner?” Seb asked, and you nodded again, before telling him what you wanted.

He left the room, and came down the stairs. he plated the food that you wanted, and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge.

“What happened?” Anthony asked from the dining room as Seb passed.

“She heard what Evans said, and she’s heartbroken. I’m bringing her dinner, and then I’m gonna talk some sense into that motherfucker.”

“Good, he needs it.” Anthony agreed, watching as Seb walked away.

Seb dropped the food off to you, before walking across the hall to Chris’s room. He answered after the first knock.

“What’s up?”

“First of all, you’re a grade A asshole, and second of all, you need to go apologize to Y/N.” Seb said, anger bubbling in his voice.

“Why? She hates me, I’ve done nothing to her to-“ Chris began before Seb interrupted him.

“SHE DOESN’T HATE YOU!” He exclaimed. “She’s selectively mute, that’s why she doesn’t speak to you! She’s a huge fan of you. She’s in her bedroom, right now, heartbroken, because she heard you talking about her.” Seb finished, his hand pointing at your bedroom door.

Chris felt his heart sink. “Why does she talk to you, but not me?”

Seb sighed. “She only talks to people she trusts a lot, and you met her yesterday. Of course she’s not gonna talk to you right away, and now I’m afraid she never will because you talked bad about her. She drew you a picture in hopes that you would understand that she didn’t hate you, but you broke her heart even more by not showing up at dinner. Now, go and fix it or will not hesitate to call your mother.” Seb finished, before walking away.

Chris sat back down on his bed in disbelief. He’d fucked up, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He thought back to Seb’s threat, before picking up his phone and calling his mom.

You had just finished another episode of Criminal Minds, when a knock came to your bedroom door. You dragged yourself out of bed, and opened the door to reveal Chris. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and kept them locked on the floor, in fear that he was going to yell at you, and repeat his earlier statements to your face.

“I’m sorry,” Chris breathed out. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You slowly moved your eyes up to meet his, and he sucked in a breath when he saw your puffy eyes. “It’s ok.” You signed, and Chris shook his head no, before enveloping you into his arms.

He moved the two of your further into your bedroom, and shut the door behind him.

“It is NOT okay. In any way. I broke your fucking heart, Y/N. I have no excuse for what I said, and I want to make it up to you. Will you let me do that?” He asked, his face buried into the hair atop your head. You nodded and he pulled away from you. You grabbed your ipad, opened up your text to speech app, and typed in a sentence.

“Do you want to watch a movie with me?”

Chris nodded, and smiled, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “Of course. You pick.”

You led him over to the bed, and got in, and he climbed in the opposite side. You picked up the remote, and chose the movie “Swat: Under Siege”. Chris wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and pulled you close to him. You cuddled into his chest as the movies opening scene began to play.

About halfway through the movie, Chris tilted your chin up to look at him.

“I really am sorry. I hate that I said what I did. I just- Seb had told me all about you, and I had seen some of the leaked pictures from set, and all I wanted to do was impress you. When I thought you hated me, I couldn’t handle it, and I lashed out. I’m so so sorry about that.” He said, his thumb teaching over your cheekbone once more. “Also, Seb told me that you drew me a picture? Can I see it?” And you nodded.

You unlocked your ipad and opened the drawing app, clicking on the most recent one, before handing the device over to Chris.

His breath caught in his throat while he looked down at the picture you had drawn of him.

“T-that is amazing,” He said, tears coming to his eyes at the picture that you worked so hard to make of him. “You’re even more amazing than I thought.” He finished. “Thank you,” You signed, before thinking of a question.

You grabbed your iPad once more, and typed into your app.

“Why did you want to impress me?” Chris smiled at the sound of the robotic voice coming from the device.

“I was drawn to you. I dont know what is was, but I couldn’t get you off my mind. I had searched and searched to find another tv or movie you had been in, but nothing came up, and I was so shocked that you got such a big part right off the bat. But I was also insanely excited to see you perform. And when Seb and Mackie told me I could come and stay for a while, I was ecstatic to be able to get to know you, and that’s when I realized that I liked you.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his words. Did Chris Evans really just admit to having a crush on you?

“Now, I understand if you dont like me back, but I had to get that off my chest, especially since I just broke your heart.” Chris said, his eyes focused on the tv to not meet your gaze. You gave him a small smile, but grasped his chin into your hand, and drew his lips into a soft and tender kiss.

He let out a breathy moan, and pulled you closer. His lips travelled from your lips, and all over your face, amking you let out a giggle. He started laughing too, and pulled away. “I’m guessing this means that you like me too?” He asked, and you nodded immediately.

He smiled, and grasped your hand in his. “Well then, can I take you on a date?”

You took a deep breath, and opened your mouth. “Yes.”

Chris’s eyes immediately welled up with tears and he pulled you in for another kiss.

“You spoke to me,” He whispered when he pulled apart, a few tears rolling down his face.

You shrugged and gave him a smile.

“I trust you wholeheartedly.”

[papergirllife]

The Story Of You And I.

Lee Taeyong ( One Shot- Part 1 )

Warnings : Angst, smut, slow burn.

You and Taeyong went way back. Since the both of you were 7 at the 2002 Seoul Fashion week for your mom's up and coming fashion label.

When you met him, he was working as a child model for your mom's brand.

" Hi I'm Y/N. What's your name?"

" I'm Taeyong. Who are you? "

"I'm Ms Kim's daughter. Your one of the models for this show aren't you? "

" Y-Yeah."

" Let's be friends from now on. "

"Okay."

You didn't know why you picked him out of all the boys there to make friends. Maybe it was because of his big googly eyes or his cute bouncy self waiting in line to be dressed.

The both of you became close friends. Always chatting at the backstage of every show. He even signed a contract to stay on with your mom's brand.

As you got to know him longer, you knew more about him. He was a rich family's son, he's mom was once a famous model back in the 70s' and married a wealthy business man. Their family owns Lee Insurance Inc. and even a law firm.

As he got older, his father wanted him to learn up the ropes of the business world, at the age of 12.

He never liked the corporate world, too shady he always said. Thankfully he has a sister who enjoyed business. So the responsibility didn't weight on him anymore.

As Taeyong and you grew, the both of you started developing into teenagers. His eyes were still big, but held a sense of mystery. His jawline sharper. Shoulders broader.

You hadn't changed much, not as much as he did. You started cutting down from snacking as you fall into the phase of wanting to keep yourself fit. You started a gym membership and enrolling dance classes.

You still remember staring at yourself in the mirror at age 15, admiring the curves you developed from your hard work.

Taeyong wasn't blind. He saw the way you changed. No longer that cute little girl who said hi to him at his first catwalk.

One day at the age of 16 the both of you were trapped in one of your mom's studio due to heavy snow fall as you were helping Taeyong with his measurements.

You got bored, so you started sketching some designs on your notebook after your mom taught you how to.

" Do you always bring along your sketch book and pencils wherever you go?"

" Yeah. So that whenever I'm inspired I'll always be able to draw at once. It's really important to me. "

" Thats so artistic and cool."

" Thank you. "

You could feel the blush creeping up your cheeks. You have never been complimented much in your life. Being a famous designer's daughter means you rarely have sincere friends. Taeyong was the closest to you among all.

You looked up from the sketch book to see Taeyong's face only millimeters away from yours. His eyes focused on your lips. With a pounding heart, you closed the gap between the two of you.

Everything was well for a year. Both of you were the sweethearts of the weekly tabloids. The power couple netizens would call the both of you. Until everything fell apart.

At one of your girl friend's new year's party bash. You were supposed to go there with Taeyong, but you suddenly had a headache from the amount of work from school and work. So Taeyong texted you that he wouldn't go as you weren't going to be there.

You were going to fall asleep until your friend Yeri called you.

" Y/N, Y/N. Open your messages right now. You won't like it, but it's the truth and I didn't want to hide it from you. "

" Um. Okay? Hang on a sec. "

When you opened Yeri's chat, there were two blurry photos, you clicked into them and your heart dropped.

It was Taeyong and some random girl making out. You exited your chat with Yeri and opened Taeyong's.

' I'm breaking up with you. '

You hit send and proceeded to block his number and all the other forms of social media accounts.

A few weeks later, the tabloids caught wind of the break up and even caught a photo of Taeyong and some girl kissing at Starbucks.

Taeyong and Y/N, Lovebirds No More? Who's Taeyong's New Mystery Girl?

Y/N's nasty heartbreak, Taeyong's Break For Freedom.

The Similarities Between Y/N and Taeyong's New Darling, Rosé.

Throughout this break up, only Yeri was there, helping me move on from my first love and heartbreak. Passing me tissues and eating tubs of ice cream together.

2019.

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae! "

" Yes? "

"We're short of one of our main male models, he suddenly called and said that his aunt was in critical condition at Jeju. So he flown out of the city and won't be participating in all of our shows. "

" Hurry find a replacement. Any decent model will be fine for today until we find another permanent. "

" Yes, Ms Bae."

You can't screw this up. This is the first time your mom gave you full reins of the company. You had to ace this one way or another.

You were adjusting a model's clothing when you heard a voice that made you drop the pins in your hand.

" Y/N, long time no see. "

You still remember his voice, even though it got deeper as he matured.

" Taeyong. "

You greeted him in a hardened tone.

" Cut the crap. What are you doing

here? "

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae. He was the only decent model available at such a short period of time. "

Your assistant didn't dare looked up to your face, fearing that you might fire her on the spot.

" Get him dressed Nancy. "

" Yes, Ms Bae. "

You looked at Taeyong like he was trash, well technically he is to you but not literally. And you really needed a replacement model.

" Y/N, don't you remember all the happy memories we shared? "

You ignored him and started picking out his runway attire.

" Mr Lee, what is the size of your waist? "

Your assistant asked.

" Ask Y/N. She knows. "

" I don't keep trash in my head. Tell her yourself. "

Taeyong sighed. You sneaked a glance at him. He still does that making his lips straight frown whenever he's frustrated.

It's time you forgot about him Y/N, you told yourself.

" Size 31. "

He took the pants from your assistant to change behind the veil.

" Are you okay Ms Bae?"

Nancy whispered.

"It's been 4 years plus now Nancy. I'm fine. " Or that's what you keep telling yourself.

Nancy seemed a little bit relieved at what you said event though she wasn't entirely sure you were speaking the truth.Suddenly someone called.

"Nancy, Nancy! We need your help with one of the model's measurements. "

You took Taeyong's clothes from her hands and beckoned her to go. She left with a little bit of uncertainty on her face, but didn't dare to question her boss.

Taeyong finally stepped out from the veil, looking smart in the pants you designed.

" Here. Change into the button up first, then the sweater, finally the coat. "

You passed every article of clothing to Taeyong but he didn't take it.

" Dress me. "

" Stop playing games Taeyong. Time is ticking. "

" What sort of games? You did this all the time back when we were kids. "

" I'm not your friend or anything anymore, so get dressed on your own. "

Instead of listening to you, Taeyong plopped down the stool, mindlessly looking at his fingers.

After a minute of no sign of movement from him you took matters into your own hands.

You began to unbutton his shirt rapidly and put on the shirt for him, buttoning the buttons.

Taeyong had a surprise look on his face, he didn't think you'd actually do it.

When you undressed him, you saw the changes on his body. He was much more built than he was last time. Small knobs and cervices at his once soft stomach. You were careful to not touch him.

After you finished adjusting the dress shirt, you forced the sweater over his head, fingers accidentally knocking onto some part of his face.

" Ouch! You used to be more gentle when you dressed me backstage your mom's shows. "

" Let the past stay the past. " You said as you dumped the coat on his face.

" Do that on your own, or get a fling to do it for you. "

You scanned him top to toe to see if anything was wrong. Until you spot his Nike sneakers.

You weren't going to be Prince Charming for him. So you called Nancy and told her to switch tasks with you with a pair of size 9 from your latest collection.

The show was starting soon, you double checked the attendance and the paper and magazine companies.

You could feel a headache forming thinking of the gossip columns eating on the drama that's going to happen tonight.

Ex Lovers Reunited?

What's Happening Between Taeyong and Y/N? Taeyong casted in Y/N's First Full Fledge Collection.

Just mother freaking great.

Everything went smoothly during the beginning, no mismatched clothes, no ruckus outside the venue.

You took a peak from behind the curtains. The columnist and VIP customers seemed to be enjoying it.

" Ms Bae, Ms Bae. "

Nancy called you interrupting your thoughts.

" Yes? "

" Right after Taeyong's wrap up for the runway, it's supposedly your turn to greet and thank the guest. "

Shit, I forgot. A could sense an oncoming disaster.

" Right, yeah. Just let me get changed and I'll be right out. "

You changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and black sweater, to not distract the audience from the clothes worn by the models.

I stood behind Taeyong to wait for my cue. He suddenly turned around and looked at me in the eyes.

" No good luck kiss like when we're 17? "

"You lost that right when you lost my trust. "

For a while Taeyong really looked hurt. I could have been imagining it, don't get your hopes up Y/N , it'll just break your heart again.

When Taeyong walked the runway, heads turned and jaws dropped. Of all the models to grace my brand they didn't expected him. Especially for the closing scene, but there wasn't anyone else under my belt that could pull of such an outfit.

I could see my guest started whispering among themselves. Some frowned, some smiled, some had cynical looks on their faces, like they expected you to fall back with your most popular ex.

When Taeyong came back, it was your time to shine.

" Thank you so much for coming to the show. Customers who would like to make purchases may raise their hand, an employee with an iPad would be of assistance. Once again thank you and goodnight. "

You bowed and returned to the back end. You started helping your staff pack up the equipment, but they all dismissed you midway claiming that they could finish up by themselves.

So you decided to pack up your belongings to head home to prepare for the after party.

After keeping everything, you double checked your belongings and found that your sketch book wasn't present.

You started panicking, the sketch book held many ideas and sketches for future references.

" Ms Bae you should head home to prepare yourself for the after party. "

" I know Nancy, but I can't seem to find my sketch book. "

Nancy's eyes became saucers, she knew how important that book was to you.

" I'll help you ask all the staff, you have to head home to prepare first, it's your first after party Ms Bae. "

" Okay, thank you Nancy. Contact me if you find it. "

[areyounotthrowingawaymysocks]

Playground (Daveed x Emmy/ Anthony x Jasmine)

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Emmy Raver-Lampman and Anthony Ramos x Jasmine Cephas-Jones

Word Count: 2217

Warnings: Bullying, Injury, Hospital, Surgery

Author’s Note: This was originally a short, fluffy fic about the kids playing together at the playground. Then I decided to re-write it while editing today and this was the end result. Whoops!

While Emmy and Jasmine were at work together, both currently working on a new musical, Daveed and Anthony decided to band together to take care of the three kids. Daniele, Callie, and Michael were five now and were all in the same kindergarten class. The two couples tried to get the kids together at least once a week, and they regularly watched each other’s kids so that they could still have date nights and some child-free time. 

On this particular Saturday, Daveed and Anthony decided to take the kids to the local park where they could run around and get some energy out. The park also had a playground where they would be able to play on the jungle gym and swings for a while before heading home for dinner. 

Daveed and Daniele arrived at Anthony and Jasmine’s apartment around two, after a long and messy lunch of mac and cheese and fruit snacks, the only things she would eat when Emmy wasn’t home. Anthony opened the door to reveal Michael running around the apartment in just his underwear while Callie was playing quietly in the corner with her dollhouse. It never ceased to amuse Daveed how different the twins were. He sent Daniele over to play with Callie and then made his way over to Michael and tried to convince him to put on some clothes. After about fifteen minutes, Michael was finally dressed and the group made their way down the street to the park.

As soon as they arrived, all three kids joined a game of tag with a few other kids who were already playing. Daveed and Anthony took a seat on a nearby bench where they could chat while still keeping an eye on the kids to make sure no one got hurt. After about twenty minutes of tag, Daniele and Callie came over to ask if they could go over to the playground now. They called for Michael and made their way over, the girls heading straight for the swings while Michael ran for the sandbox when he saw there was a dump truck that no one was playing with yet. 

After a little while, Daniele and Callie decided to head over to the jungle gym to practice their gymnastics. Their were some older kids hanging out there too, but they stayed on the lower bars like Anthony had told them to so they weren’t worried. Daniele was showing Callie the new flip she had learned in class when one of the bigger kids came over to them.

“Are you babies done yet?” she asked, her hands on her hips, glaring at Dani and Callie. “Why don’t you go play with the baby toys over there?” she pointed at the baby swings across the park.

“M-my Papí says I can p-play here if I w-want!” Callie retorted, her small voice wavering as the older girl stared her down.

“Y-yeah! D-daddy said we could p-play f-flips!” Dani added, moving to stand next to her friend.

“Well, only big kids can play on the bars. Prove that you’re big kids and we’ll let you stay,” another girl added.

“Fine!” Daniele shouted, climbing up the ladder to the higher bars.

“Dani! Papí told us not to go up there!” Callie called after her, looking back towards Anthony and Daveed who were busy talking and didn’t notice the altercation their daughters were in.

“It’s fine, C! We’ve been up here before! C’mon!” Danielle called from the top of the ladder.

Callie hesitantly made her way towards the ladder and began climbing up after giving one more glance towards her father. When she reached the top, she couldn’t help but feel proud of herself for making it up so high. She could see the whole playground from up here. Michael was still in the sandbox, currently dumping sand down another kid’s shirt. She could see Anthony and Daveed, still on the bench, unaware that their daughters had climbed up higher than they were supposed to. But before she could get too comfortable up there, the older girls were back.

“Now you gotta do a flip up here,” the older girl said, demonstrating by flipping herself backwards so she was hanging by her knees, “Your turn,” she said as she flipped back up.

Daniele hesitantly adjusted herself on the bar and then helped Callie adjust herself. They squeezed hands and then let go as they flipped back. Daniele felt her legs slip off of the bar, and the next thing she knew, she was on the ground, searing pain in her left arm. 

“Dani!” Callie called as soon as she realized what had happened, “Hold on! I’ll be right there to help you!” she yelled to her as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Here, I’ll show you the fastest way to get there,” the older girl said before pushing Callie off the bar, laughing as she fell to the ground next to Daniele and then running off with the rest of the older kids before they could get caught.

Callie hit the wood chips below with a thud. The pain was instant and all she could do was scream. Anthony heard her and he and Daveed went running, shocked to see both of their daughters lying on the ground below the jungle gym. Daveed could tell just by looking that Daniele had broken her left arm, the swelling and bruising already setting in. Callie was in even worse shape. The broken bone in her leg had pierced her skin and she was bleeding. Anthony was using his sweatshirt to stop the bleeding while calling an ambulance. He told Daveed to call the theater and have Emmy and Jasmine meet them at the ER. Michael had noticed the chaos and the crowd that had formed and made his way over. Daveed kept him turned around while simultaneously cradling Daniele so that he wouldn’t see his sister’s injury. After he reached the theater and confirmed that the girls would meet them at the ER, Anthony had him call Stephanie to pick up Michael so he wouldn’t have to be at the hospital with them. He explained to his son that he was going to have a special sleepover with Auntie Steph and that he’d get to watch movies and pick whatever kind of take out he wanted for dinner. 

After what felt like an eternity but in reality was probably only a few minutes, the ambulances arrived to take the girls to the hospital. The EMTs quickly splinted Daniele’s arm to keep it stable on the trip. They took a bit longer with Callie because they had to bandage her wound before they could splint her leg. When they finally arrived at the hospital, they put the girls in a shared room because they had been crying for each other the whole trip. They were both given pain medication so they were super sleepy and a little loopy when Jasmine and Emmy arrived. Both women were in a frantic state, clearly having gotten quickly changed out of costume and jumping into an Uber as soon as they got the call. 

The girls were both taken back for x-rays, Jasmine having to go with Callie who was convinced that she was being taken away from her parents forever. Fortunately, Daniele’s arm was a clean break that would heal with just a cast. She chose purple, to match her new sneakers, and was excited to have all her friends draw on it at school on Monday. Callie, unfortunately, was going to need surgery to realign her bones and place several screws. Anthony and Jasmine were nervous, as was to be expected, but they were grateful to be at a pediatric hospital with a world renowned orthopedic team who they felt would do everything they could to help their daughter heal as quickly as possible. 

Daniele was allowed to go home after her cast was put on, so she said goodbye to Callie and wished her good luck with her surgery. Emmy promised that they would come back to visit the next day once Callie was recovering and that seemed to calm the girls down a bit. The Diggs family made their way home, leaving Callie and her parents to prepare for the long night ahead of them. Despite the heavy pain medications, she was still in a significant amount of pain, which the doctor said was to be expected with her injury. Her surgery had been booked for 7am the following morning, and she would be unable to eat all night, so they tried to come up with some different ways to distract her both from hunger and pain all night. Luckily, the hospital didn’t have a restriction on visiting hours, so Cynthia and Mario came over around 9 with a big bag of supplies they had picked up from the apartment: pillows, blankets, dolls, art supplies, books, stuffed animals, movies, the iPad, and Anthony’s laptop. They also grabbed changes of clothes for all three of them, toiletries, and phone chargers. Stephanie had also stopped by the apartment and grabbed anything she would need to take care of Michael for the few days they were expecting to be in the hospital with Callie and a few days after so she could recover at home in peace. 

Around 2am, Callie was awake and crying from pain, Jasmine doing her best to hold her without hurting her leg while they waited to hear back from the doctor about giving her more pain meds. Jasmine put Lion King on for her, one of her favorite Disney movies, and was singing along to some of the songs, quietly kissing her head, trying to calm her, to no avail. Callie was just whimpering at this point, too tired to fully cry. Anthony excused himself from the room and Jasmine assumed he was going to go beg the nurse to page the doctor again. 

Twenty minutes later, the nurse came in with more pain meds for Callie. Jasmine thanked her and the woman offered her a small supportive smile in return. Jasmine was so grateful that Callie had a nurse who was so attentive to her needs and was helping to make sure she was as comfortable as possible until she had her surgery. With the additional medication, Callie quickly fell asleep. Jasmine noticed that Anthony still hadn’t returned, so she texted him to see if he was okay. When she didn’t get a reply, she decided to go look for him, hoping Callie would stay asleep for a little while.

She found him crying on a bench in the family waiting area. She quietly slipped next to him and wrapped him in a hug, rubbing steady circles on his back to help steady his breathing.

“Bubba, match my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Good job. Keep going,” she coached him, feeling his breathing begin to regulate, the tension being released from his body.

“My fault,” he muttered into her shoulder, his voice wavering from tears.

“What do you mean, Bubba?” she asked, holding him so she could see his face.

“It’s my fault she’s hurt. I shoulda watched her better,” he said, turning away, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Bubba, look at me,” she said, turning his face so she was looking at him, “I know how hard it is to watch both of them at once. Especially somewhere like the playground. She’s gonna be okay. Let’s go back in there with her before she wakes up again looking for us.”

The next morning, Callie was brought down for pre-op around 5:30. By 7, she was pretty doped up from the medicine the anesthesiologist had given her, but she was excited that when she woke up from her “nap” her leg would be fixed and she would have a purple cast to match Dani. When she was wheeled back to the OR, Anthony and Jasmine were led to a waiting room, where both of their mothers were waiting already, along with Cynthia and Mario. They all waited together, taking turns comforting Anthony and Jasmine until a nurse came out to tell them that Callie was out of surgery and should be waking up shortly. She explained that one parent could come sit with her now and that the other could join once she was fully awake. Jasmine followed the nurse back and took a seat next to her sleeping daughter, admiring how peaceful she looked for the first time since they had arrived at the hospital. 

A few hours later, Callie was back up in her hospital room surrounded by her family. Everyone had come upstairs to see her once she was moved back up and they all brought gifts. Jasmine’s mom had gotten her a new Barbie, Anthony’s mom got her a stuffed pig, her current favorite animal. Mario and Cynthia had stopped at the American Girl store and gotten a set of crutches and a cast so her doll could match her. Stephanie brought her a box of her favorite cookies, and Michael had drawn her a picture. She was still a bit drowsy from the anesthesia and sore from surgery, but Callie was grateful to be spending a day surrounded by her family who cared about her so much.

[ellen-and-what-blog]

Collection 2

This week I realized that I write myself a post it note to-do list nearly everyday and pin in on my bulletin board above my desk. Every day I take down the list from yesterday and write a new one with basically all the same tasks on it. I realize that I do this ritual to collect and organize my thoughts for what I am supposed to accomplish that day, however, I don’t even get about half of those things done. Everyday I at least get one thing done- I write my checklist. Check! This reminds me of something I read about always making your bed in the morning. If you make your bed every morning you have at least accomplished something and should be proud of that. This technique is great for people who have depression.

The rest of my collection features memes I had to send to all my friends, a little drawing I did on my boyfriends iPad before bed, some stuffed dinosaurs that I want to get for my boyfriends sister because she is pregnant, a text scam that my entire family received, my electronic receipts from Starbucks and a snap chat of my brother’s cat.

I spend a lot of time looking at memes during the day as a distraction from homework. Even though I know that I am procrastinating and contributing to my anxiety because my homework isn’t done I still do it. I seek instant gratification throughout the day to distract me from responsibilities. Why? Is it because I feel inadequate in my design abilities so I avoid practicing them? Am I looking for inspiration? This next week I am going to challenge myself to limit my internet-browsing time and focus on the present and how that influences my design thinking. Actually I can use the techniques talked about in the first reading of this class by Van Manen about being present and actively seeing to guide my next week of exploration. 

[hitamory-dead-blog]

Mob Psycho 100 Episodes 4-8 as narrated by an 11-year old

So I wish I'd had this idea when I first introduced my lil sis to MP100 because her reactions to anime she loves are fuckin hilarious and she's jumped on the MP100 bandwagon as hard as I have lmao she customized a Littlest Pet Shop toy for me to look like Mob and she's gonna try making Reigen because she knows he's like one of my favourites (she's too pure omg). So we watched episodes 4-7 last night and episode 8 just a little while ago but here're her reactions to what happened in episodes 4-8. My dialogue is marked with an H and hers is indicated with a B.

Episode 4: *Mezato interviewing Ritsu* B: "Are they in Starbucks?" H: "No, they're in MobDonalds" B: "Does Mob know McDonalds is named after him?" H: "I..." *Onigawara appears* B: "He looks like Elvis Presley!" H: "Why?" B: "He has Elvis hair." *Onigawara punching his bald friend* B: "KICK HIS BUTT ELVIS!" H: *laughing* "His name's Onigawara" B: "That sounds like onion. I can't say his name and I can't say onion because it makes me think of Shrek." H: "Yeah, please don't say onion." *the body improvement club comes to save Mob* B: "Mob has good friends." H: "Which friends?" B: "The muscle club guys." H: "Yeah, they're good friends, aren't they?" B: "I wish I had strong muscle-y friends like that to beat up kids who are mean to me at school." H: "Well you have me, text me if you need me." B: "But you're a twig. And you're like a zombie. And the grade threes are taller than you." H: "..." B: "And you're a weeb." H: "I will leave you in the woods for the wolves, I swear to fuck." *teru appears* B: "The blonde guy's cool." H: "What makes you say that?" B: 'He has a cool name. And he's gay." H: "How do you know if he's gay? He was dating a girl before Edano called him." B: "What's that one thing your friend is?" H: "Bisexual?" B: "Yeah. He's that." (omfg she's too great) Episode 5: B: *aggressive headbanging to the intro* *Teru talking shit and knocking Mob around* B: "Why's he being so mean?!" H: "That's just how he is." B: "Maybe he had a sad life so he's taking it out on Mob." H: "Dude you're giving me sad headcanons. Stop." *Teru makes Dimple vanish* B: "HE BETTER NOT HAVE KILLED DIMPLE." H: "..." B: "HE COMES BACK RIGHT?!" H: "I dunno..." *laughing* B: *SCREAMING* H: *hissing whisper* "SHUT UP MOM ISN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU'RE STILL UP." *Mob getting beat up* B: "STOP HURTING MOB HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!" *Teru screeching* B: "That's me every day." *Teru's hair buzzed off* B: "He looks like an old man!" *Teru turns his tie into a sword* B: "Now he's a very angry old man." H: *laughing* "Yeah, he is." B: "Kinda like you." H: "You sure like insulting me, don't you?" B: "It's 'cuz you won't tell me if Dimple comes back." H: "Fair enough." *??? appears* B: "Oh no." H: "What?" B: "Is Teru gonna die?" H: "What do you think?" B: "He better not. He's gonna be friends with Mob. Or date him." H: *laughing* "Chill." B: "But you draw them gay." H: "How the fuck-" (she doesn't see me draw so she must've found my DA or something, she won’t tell me) B: *evil laugh* *Teru's clothes get ripped off* B: "He's very very naked." H: "Yup." B: "He deserves it for being so mean to Mob." *100% Sadness* B: "Don't cry, you're a good person." H: "Aw..." B: "He's nicer than you." H: "I mean probably but can you fucking not." *The body improvement club picks Mob up* B: "Yeah, go do squats with your friends. They won't beat you up like Teru did." H: "Well at least Teru feels sorry about it." B: "Yeah. I want to see Teru and Mob be friends." Episode 6: *Reigen reassures Mob* B: "Reigen's so nice to Mob." H: "Yup." B: "He's like Mob's dad." *Shinji appears* B: "He needs to sleep more. He has rings under his eyes." H: "Yeah." B: "He looks like a zombie." H: "Mm-hm." B: "Sorta like you." H: "Do you wanna fuckin die" *Ritsu goes to the Awakening lab* B: "The afro man's gonna kill him." H: "No??" B: "Stranger Danger. Ritsu needs to learn Stranger Danger." H: "Well...you're not wrong I guess?" *Ritsu meets the Awakening Lab kids and has his interior monologue* B: "I like Ritsu. He's salty like me." H: "Well I guess so." *The Shiratori brothers appear* B: "Is that Steve from Minecraft?" H: "Yes." *Shinji's arrival at home* B: "Shinji has a mean family. I feel bad for him." H: "Yeah. Kinda like me." *glance at sister* B: "I'll stop if you tell me if Dimple comes back." H: *heavy sigh* *Shinji and Ritsu frame Onigawara* B: "I don't feel bad for Shinji anymore." H: "Why's that?" B: "He made Ritsu be bad." H: "Yeah..." B: "And (Onigawara) was trying to be a good person." H: "Mm-hm." B: "(Onigawara) needs a hug." *Dimple appears* B: *gasp* *glances rapidly between me and the screen* *bounces up and down on the couch, kicking feet* B: "DIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMPPPLLLLLEEEEE!!!!!!" H: "You happy now?" B: "He's my favourite character!" H: "Figured as much." B: "Can you please draw him for me?" H: "Sure." B: *excited squeak* Episode 7: *shows the different shadow leaders* *gozu appears* B: "I want hair like that." H: "I can make it happen." B: "If you do I'll put orange juice in your fishtank." H: "...your hair's safe." *Ritsu sitting alone in his room with his aura visible* B: "Whoa, his powers look so cool!" H: "Yeah, they're really pretty." B: "So if I get really stressed will I get powers like Ritsu?" H: "I've been stressed for months and nothing's happened so I don't think so." *laugh* B: "Maybe you just suck." H: "Maybe I should beat your ass." *Teru's hair: 150%* B: "HE'S A TREE!!!" At this point, I went upstairs to get a glass of water and to let the dog out, so I left her to watch on her own. I came back around the time that Shinji kept getting beat up. H: *enter room with dog and water* "What happened so far?" B: "Shinji's getting his ass beat." H: "Don't cuss." B: "But it's true." H: "Yeah..." B: "He deserves it." *Ritsu being a shit* B: "Is Dimple possessing him all the time?" H: "No, he's stressed so he's doing bad things." B: "Mob's gonna be sad." *Mob sees Ritsu in the alley* B: *glance excitedly between me and the screen* B: "NEXT EPISODE!!!!" H: *receives text from mother upstairs saying to go to sleep and that 'the kid' had better be in bed as well* H: "You gotta go to bed now." B: *takes my phone* *calls mom* B: *enter lengthy, heated debate over phone between mom and sis about whether or not she can watch the next episode* B: *loses argument, hangs up* H: "So?" B: "We're watching the next one after school tomorrow.”

Episode 8 (next day):

*Teru meets Mob and Tome on the bench* B: "Does Tome like Teru?" H: "No, why do you ask?" B: "I dunno." *Teru takes Mob to the alley* B: "Teru still looks like a tree." H: *laugh* "Yup." *Ritsu yelling at Mob to fight him* B: "Ritsu's being a jerk and needs to stop." H: "I agree." B: "He needs a Snickers.* H: *laugh* *Mob bowing to apologize to the delinquents for Ritsu* B: "Mob has a booty." H: "S T O P." B: "I'm kidding." H: "Thank the Lord." *Koyama on the rooftop talking to Sakurai* B: "I want his pants." H: "...why?" B: "They're really shiny." H: "Aight." *Ritsu gets attacked by Koyama* B: "IS RITSU DEAD?!" H: "No." *laugh* B: "I'd be dead." H: "Yeah, you definitely would." *sees half of Koyama's face (when he threatens the delinquents)* B: "Ew." *Koyama makes the delinquents grovel* B: "I wouldn't bow to him." H: "Really?" B: "Yeah, I'd rather die." H: "Holy shit calm down you’re only eleven." *Mob first attacks Koyama and slams him into the ground* B: "GET REKT SCRUB!!" *First half of the fight (before Mob goes 100%)* B: "The animation's really good, wow!" H: "Holy shit, I know right?" B: "Yeah, Mob's powers are really cool!" *Mob getting beat up* B: "STOP BEATING HIM UP!!" H: "..." B: "RITSU SAVE HIM!!" B: *cringing and hugging stomach whenever Mob gets hit* B: *various "ouch!" and "ooh!" exclamations whenever Mob's hit* *Mob hits 100% animosity* B: "Well his hair looks better now." H: *laugh* "Yeah." B: "He doesn't have a bowl cut anymore." H: "Oh, the bowl cut's still there, kiddo." B: "Oh, ok." *Mob 100% vs Koyama* B: "This is the coolest and most intense fight I've ever seen!" H: "Yeah, it won for best fight of 2016 on Crunchyroll." B: "It deserved to win!" *Dimple appears before going to find Teru* B: "DIMPLE!!!" H: *laugh* B: *SCREECH* *the delinquents cheering Mob on* B: "Those kids looks like adults." H: "Wow, you're right." B: "Are you sure they're middle schoolers?" H: "Yup." *Koyama knocks out Mob* B: "IS MOB DEAD?!" H: "HE'S NOT FUCKIN DEAD WHY IS THAT YOUR FIRST CONCLUSION EVERY TIME A CHARACTER GETS HURT?!" B: "WELL ANIME CHARACTERS DIE ALL THE TIME!" H: "You really shouldn't use Danganronpa and Attack on Titan as reference." *Reigen's aroma runaway express* B: "Reigen is me." H: "Nah, you're more like Ritsu." B: "But he's mean. H: "Not all the time. And you're mean sometimes as well." B: "I'll put juice in your fishtank." H: "Case in point." *Mob wakes up and Teru leans over him* B: "What if Teru's wig fell on Mob?" H: *hard laughter* B: "It would be like a haystack fell on his face." H: *LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY* B: "Shoof." H: *wHEEZE*

So all of this is unaltered from our original conversations and now she changed her phone, ipad and laptop backgrounds to Mob Psycho 100 wallpapers XD DISCLAIMER: We aren't violent towards each other, we just banter and shit lmao it's all in good fun. Also, these are her two favourite songs from the OST (Song 1 | Song 2)

[chaos-weekly]

one rotten apple or an ever changing path

Nollie was pretty sure getting your first tattoo was supposed to be fun. She was also sure that introducing your brother to your boyfriend was supposed to be at least bearable. And both of those things were; it was just the aftermath that was unbearable. 

Parker had liked London much more than she had thought he would. He was the more judgemental of her brothers, especially when it came to boys she dated, but he had hit it off with her boyfriend immediately, so much so that Nollie had stayed almost silent while London tattooed the tiny “F” on her hip, right where it could be covered by even her tiniest underwear or swimsuits. Normally Parker would have been a little uncomfortable by his sister’s more exposed lower body, but his conversation with London seemed to distract him. It was perfect: the tattoo, the experience, her brother with London. 

Nollie should have known it was too good to be true.

London had dragged Parker into his office to show him his portfolio (Parker had quite a few tattoos himself as wanted to see London’s work. His previous artist had moved from Wall Street where Parker worked off to Middle of Nowhere, Georgia. He was considering getting another while he was in town), so Nollie had occupied herself by talking to Winter up front. She’d grown fond of the girl in her frequent visits, and with her practically being London’s sister, Nollie had really valued their positive relationship.

“You know, I’m really glad this worked out,” Winter was saying. The two had been laughing at the blossoming bromance in the backroom. “I liked you from the start, I was just nervous London would rush things.”

Nollie raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

“Do tell,” she said, leaning on the counter Winter was behind. The other girl shrugged.

“I was nervous that he was going to force you into having sex. He talked a couple times about how he’d heard Ainsley saying that it was a while since you’d had sex, and that someone as hot as you probably had pent up horniness that was going to result in months of good sex. And I told him not to force you to do anything you didn’t want to or weren’t ready for, but he said not to worry-- he was just going to do everything he could to convince you that he could end your hibernation with him as soon as possible.”

Nollie’s mind was reeling. London had started hanging out with her because he wanted to have sex with her? Half of her said it was ridiculous, that he genuinely cared about her and wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. But the other half reminded her of Kendall. That was years of time together when he stayed with her for sex and publicity. It didn’t seem too far in left field for him to do it again.

“That’s kind of f-ked up, isn’t it,” Winter whispered, probably just now realizing it herself. Nollie swallowed, her eyes meeting Winter’s. 

But she snapped out of it as soon as she heard two familiar laughs rejoining them. She put on a fake smile, dodged London’s kiss to her lips and directed him to her cheek, and she and Parker slipped out without her having to say too much besides a: “I’ll see you Wednesday night.”

///

Nollie went to London’s the next morning to return the portfolio he’d let Parker borrow. Her brother had flown back to New York City that evening and couldn’t return it himself, so she’d gone at a strategic time when she was sure her boyfriend would be at work and before she saw Bishop that afternoon for a shoot in one of the houses Langston had recently completed. This would hopefully give her enough time to process and pull her things from his drawer, just in case. She also hadn’t really been replying to his texts. She was nothing if not emotionally bubble wrapped.

Nollie unlocked London’s apartment and almost turned around and left when she saw a man sitting on the couch with his back to her. Who was that? But when the man turned around, neon green beanie and all, her mouth formed a little “o.”

“Paris?” she guessed, stepping further into the apartment and letting the door close behind her. The man’s face lit up, and he sprung out of his chair to wrap Nollie in the biggest bear hug she’d ever received. 

“Finally!” he exclaimed, pulling away to look her over. “My brother keeps talking about you, and you sure live up to the da-n hype.” He winked, and she couldn’t help but laugh. Paris was identical to London, but shorter (just a few inches taller than the already tall Nollie) and much skinnier. His arms were just as heavily tattooed, had the style of a neon grunge band from the 90s, and reeked of spray paint and weed. He reminded her of the class clown in a coming of age movie, and Nollie had a feeling she wasn’t too far off with that assumption. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” she said, grinning. “It’s nice to meet you. London’s said so much about you.”

“Good things?” Paris asked, not hopeful at all and sighing at Nollie’s lack of response. “God, I know I’m a royal f-ck up and he’s not proud of me, but he really doesn’t have to tell everyone. Especially not beautiful women.” He collapsed back into the chair he’d been in before.

“I’m pretty sure London’s proud of you, Paris,” Nollie said, moving towards London’s room. “He talks about your art and growing up with you and how close you two are now.”

“A lot?” Paris asked. Nollie shook her head.

“But that doesn’t mean he’s not.”

“London’s kinda the bragging type, Nollie. I know you’ve noticed.” She grimaced. Yeah, PDA was London’s strong suit. It made her stomach churn. He was using her.

“I’ll let you do what you came here for,” he said, waving her off and pulling out his phone. So she did. Nollie slipped into London’s room, dropped his portfolio on his bed, and cleaned every remnant of herself out of his room. When she came out, Paris had switched to an iPad and was sketching out what Nollie could only guess was a commission for someone. He saw her and patted the arm of the chair. And Nollie sat down. Just because things were weird with London didn’t mean they had to be with his brother. Without her asking, he explained what he had been commissioned to do and showed her all of the sketches and inspiration pictures of color palettes and the list of supplies he was making. Paris was what he called a reformed street artist. Now he mostly only spray painted what he was paid to. But Nollie was able to maintain a conversation by using art terms and the little knowledge she’d picked up from London, Langston, Ainsley, and Bishop-- each artists in their own way. He was impressed. He let Nollie watch as he continued to work, something he said he let very few people do, and let her draw a little something that he said was so unlike anything he’d do or come up with that he had to leave it in the final piece.

“You know, you’re just as cool as London said you were,” Paris said, grinning up at her. 

“And you’re way cooler than he said you were,” Nollie replied. 

“When he called me and said you two had finally hooked up, I was so relieved. Sure, he talked a lot about how much he liked you, but I remember first messaging him about how he wanted to f-k you from the minute he saw you and was one hundred percent going to make it happen.”

Nollie swallowed, the air suddenly becoming more serious. She looked away from a now frowning Paris.

“Hey, you know he wasn’t using you, right? You’re not Kendall. He really likes you,” he said, clearly trying to put a bandage on a broken bone.

“I know,” Nollie said, standing up. “I really do, Paris. It’s just not as easy for me to think about sex and relationships as it seems to be for everyone else.”

Paris seemed to buy that.

“I get it. I’m kind of the same way. But hey, I’m glad you feel comfortable around London.”

“Thanks, Paris.” She smiled weakly. “I’ve got to run to a shoot, but it was nice to meet you.”

“You’re like the big sister I wish I had growing up,” Paris admitted shyly. And her smile turned real.

He was like the little brother she’d lost. Unfortunately, she might lose Paris soon, too.

///

She wasn’t focusing on the shoot with Bishop, so much so that he’d called for a timeout in the most frustrated voice she’d ever heard him use.

“What’s up with you today, Nollie?” he asked, pulling her aside. He was annoyed, and now he had her eyes watering. “Oh gosh, Nollie, what’s wrong?” Bishop wrapped an arm around her shoulder, but Nollie pushed it off, dabbing her eyes before she could ruin her makeup.

“Did you know?” 

“Did I know what?”

And Nollie told him everything, sparring him no detail. Her conversation with Winter, her meeting Paris. She shared her feelings, but Bishop knew about the whole Kendall situation, so she didn’t have to go too in depth.

“It’s like he doesn’t value my feelings about sex at all, Bish,” Nollie finished. “Why the h-ll would you start a relationship with someone just to f-k them?”

“To play Devil’s advocate,” Bishop said, pausing to allow Nollie to give him the go-ahead. She nodded.

“To play Devil’s advocate, he clearly really likes you now. I’d say he’s falling in love with you. And when we talked before and I said that he was falling in love with you, I meant it. Sure, London’s got a good poker face, but those were real feelings. It’s hard to make those up.”

“That’s what makes this hard.” Nollie groaned, leaning against the wall. “I’m falling in love with him, too. And I know that if he tells me he loves me, I’m going to get all mushy. So I need to go in with a decision already made.”

Bishop nodded, agreeing. This was really like when she’d asked him to help her break up with Langston all over again.

“So, what are your options?”

“Stay with him and stand on the fact that the path people are on can change halfway through.”

“And?”

“Break up with him and stand on the fact that one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel.”

“Both of those are true, Nollie.”

“I know.”

“So how are you going to decide?”

“I guess I’m just going to have to figure out what I feel. Maybe it’s time to go back to journaling.”

“Maybe,” Bishop said, giving her a hug. “Well, just let me know what you decide. I’m here for you, Nols.”

“Thanks, Bishop,” Nollie said, smiling weakly. “Let’s get back to the shoot so I can get home.”

She was going to see London in a few short days, and she needed to have her decision ready.

[blizziedoodles]

I firstly want to apologize for only ever typing long blocks of text to bitch about things. Whenever something happens and it hurts or upsets me, it sticks with me for a long time until I finally vent it out and let it go. Happy things I keep close to me because I don’t want to forget them, and I don’t type them out. Happy things DO HAPPEN, I promise. But I’m just not sure how to share them, or if they’re even “special enough” to share. That’s why I don’t have instagram. |D

Anyway, story under the cut, if you’re curious enough to read. 

I’ve had 2 boyfriends in my entire life. They were both online. The first was when I was 14, the second I was 17. Looking back on it now, I accepted the idea of a boyfriend both times for two reasons. 1) I wanted to fit in. Everyone was supposed to have a boyfriend at those ages so I wanted one too. 2) I had just gone through a traumatic experience and needed a shoulder to cry on because my parents kinda suck. The first time my parents had separated, the second time my grandfather had passed away. Regardless, it wasn’t until later that I realized I didn’t really love these guys. I just loved the idea of having a soul mate and having someone else love me. *shrug* The first boyfriend is irrelevant to this rant, I just wanted to share. 

So my second boyfriend, I’ll call him...T, just to keep him anonymous. T asked me out, and I hesitantly agreed because I figured, I like this guy as a friend but maybe I can grow into the love part. IDK It never happened, I was just going through the motions or whatever and I felt super guilty the whole time because he was all mushy and lovey and it made me uncomfortable and I just wanted him to be happy, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually love him like that. 

Then he started in on the fantasy ideas of moving into a cabin in the woods with no running water, electricity, or internet, growing our own food, etc. Like...You had me at cabin, you lost me at no running water. He didn’t want to get married because he didn’t want the government involved, which I get because anti-authority and paranoia and stuff. Then he mentioned putting our brains in robotic fursuits, which was weird but I assumed he was kidding. He was dead serious. There were other things that were just odd, but nothing that screamed danger out loud? I mean, I just thought he was a weird guy, there’s nothing inherently wrong about that. 

Then he got into his fetishes and I was MASSIVELY uncomfortable. Babyfurs and voyeurism. He wanted me to draw his 6 year old character spying on my 6 year old character using the bathroom and I was NOT OKAY WITH THAT. I get the whole art vs real life thing, but I’m still not comfortable with it. After that I tried very hard to be gentle and let him down easy. Tell him that I’m sorry but we weren’t working out as a couple, that I’d tried to care for him in a romantic way, but I couldn’t. That he was more like a brother to me than anything and I didn’t think that was gonna change. I apologized way more than was necessary. 

He tried to beg me and guilt trip me into staying with him. He said he’d kill himself or start taking drugs “like his mother” if I left him. It got to the point where I told him I could not have this conversation anymore and my decision wasn’t going anywhere and honestly, him guilt tripping me made me feel worse about him than before. He begged me some more so I had my sister step in and talk to him because he just would not listen to me and I’m such a bleeding heart that I couldn’t bear the thought of cutting him off and him actually acting on his threats. 

I don’t know exactly how, but he did eventually leave me alone, but I was terrified for a couple years after because he knew my home address. At one point he had said he’d come talk to me face to face so I was just mortified that one day he could just show up at my front door. 

I don’t remember specifically when it happened, but I went on DeviantArt one day and saw a journal from my friend. My friend was promoting his friend’s journal, and normally when he did this it was a commission journal so I checked it out. And it was a journal talking about T. This person who was writing the journal was, I believe, in her late teens at the time. And she was saying all the same things that had happened in my relationship with T. Except apparently he had a temper and threatened some more advanced stuff. I don’t remember the journal, and I don’t want to go through it right now. BUT. One of my biggest issues at the time was that.. T was the same age as me, off by maybe a year. And that meant he was around 22, give or take? And this girl was maybe 17-18? And had been in a relationship with T for a while. You see where this is going. 

That made me uncomfortable. Not only that, but apparently there was at least one other girl who had gone through something similar. So I decided to speak up. I don’t go on witch hunts. I honestly just wanted to share because we had similar experiences with the same guy and it was disgusting. She decided to take it further and basically make a call out to try to get him banned from DeviantArt. Thinking back on it now, I can’t come to a conclusion on if that was the wrong thing to do or not because..it’s such a personal problem for me that I can’t think on it clearly. I certainly didn’t want to deal with him and his behavior anymore, so I personally blocked and reported him. Because I felt like he was a danger to a fair sized group of people on the site. 

He ended up getting banned 4 times on 4 separate accounts. The first account he tried guilt tripping me, and by the fourth account he was sending me outright death threats. I wasn’t the only one involved, but I wasn’t paying attention to the others because TBH once I got involved I immediately wanted to back out. I was in the middle of a continuous panic attack from the moment he sent that first guilt tripping message until my sister forced me away from the computer to go take a shower. 

My relationship with T happened way back in 2009-10. The DeviantArt journal fiasco happened...probably around 6 years ago, tbh? It was before I graduated from college, so it was more than 5 years ago, at least. 

This morning I opened my iPad and saw a message from some random person on DeviantArt. I opened it, and it was someone replying to a message on that journal fiasco from over 5 years ago. Their message just said that I was wrong and the journal creator only wanted people to mass block T so he could get banned from DeviantArt. 

Let me point out that this happened OVER 5 YEARS AGO. I personally don’t think a stalking, emotionally manipulative pedophile needs to be on DeviantArt where the community he’s in is full of impressionable teenage girls. So honestly, even if it was a smear campaign to get him permabanned from DevianArt, I don’t know that I DON’T agree with it. He hurt me and at least 2 other teenage girls.  I didn’t want that to happen again. I don’t know what he told this person, but I do know that it BOTHERS ME that he’s still going around playing the victim card over 5 years later. 

I don’t want to be a mean and spiteful person. I try my best to be kind and open and generous and honest with everyone. Part of me is scared for this person because I don’t know how old they are and he could easily be manipulating them as well and I don’t want that. But I can’t argue this anymore. I don’t want to fight this fight. I want it to be buried in the past like it should be. I don’t wish this person any harm, but I truly wish they could see that, if he told them his side of the story, that’s NOT the only side. In fact, my father is so well known for re-telling a story to play the victim card, but we all know who he really is. I think that’s what’s happening here, but it just scares me to think T’s got another impressionable person in his little fantasy world. 

Ultimately I have to look out for myself. I don’t have the energy to fight all the time. I blocked the person who sent the message instead of replying, and part of me feels guilty about that. But...I just can’t. I’m tired. 

[humanoid-lovers]

3.0 out of 5 stars I love the blog and was really looking forward to this ...

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that fascinates and inspires one's inner child. Also great for kids! About half (51%, according to the book, which seems about right) of the questions answered in this book are original, and have never been posted on the xkcd what if? website (http://ift.tt/1oV9yJb).Even though I'd already read the other 49%, I re-read them and was glad I did, as Munroe has added a few things here and there; plus, this stuff is just eminently re-readable. It's the perfect combination of irreverent, rigorous, technical, and fascinating. I look forward to every new "What If" (he posts them each Tuesday or Wednesday) and am always delighted to read the latest.Even if you've read every "What if" ever posted to the website, this book is still for you - it's especially for you! This is a great way to enjoy older questions and answers over again, updated, and to share them with new people, and the new questions and answers - never featured on the website - are delightful; I won't spoil it for you, but my favorite has to be the answer to "If a bullet with the density of a neutron star were fired from a handgun (ignoring the how) at the Earth's surface, would the Earth be destroyed?"If you have even a passing interest in science and ever enjoy daydreaming about the fantastic or the ridiculous, this book is for you. If you don't think that you enjoy those things, this book will prove to you that you do.Also, this is a really great gift idea for basically anyone in your life who can read. Kids will love it, adults will love it (I'm ordering a copy for my dad's birthday), and they will be hooked from the first page (who hasn't wondered what would happen if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning?)Gift season is coming up; thanks to this book my Christmas shopping will be a great deal easier. I don't usually write reviews, but I logged in and made an exception here. I cannot offer higher praise. Enjoy! Go to Amazon

3.0 out of 5 stars Great book, but defective cover Great book, but the cover was attached upside down and I can't figure out how to process a return on the iPad Amazon app. Go to Amazon

3.0 out of 5 stars Ruined by tiny, impossible-to-decipher drawings on Kindle I love the text, but it's a shame the drawings are so teeny tiny on the Kindle version of the book that it's almost impossible to see what they are supposed to be. 5 stars when this is fixed. Go to Amazon

5.0 out of 5 stars humor for the science minded Delightful sense of humor. The authors starts with somewhat absurd questions like, "What if all the people of the world were all in one place and jumped at the same time?" Then he answers. Truthfully, and with a twisted humor. In this example, nothing exciting or interesting would happen if everybody jumped at the same time - until they started to go home. Then their would food shortages, empty gas pumps, most likely riots and international disputes. He also gives the details of the weight and mass of all those people and its affect on the earth..The book is highly entertaining and educational. Go to Amazon

4.0 out of 5 stars This is a fun book. The delighter is the kinds of questions ... This is a fun book.The delighter is the kinds of questions asked and taken on - some are downright silly but when viewed through a (semi) serious eye become wondrous. I especially like how he breaks down large seemingly unanswerable questions and uses Napkin math to derive approximations - which exact values aren't needed. It has taught me / given the courage on how to tackle a large problem and use coarse grain math to get started.Some parts are dumbed down a bit too much causing for me, a few explanations to be rather boring. I've read most of the stories now and find it best to read a few and put down and come back to later. As soon as my toddler daughter finishes the "tear all paper objects up" phase I plan to leave it out on the coffee table. Although my older son has discovered colored magic markers. Go to Amazon

4.0 out of 5 stars Cracked me up! I really enjoyed this book, partly because I spent 27 years working on a big-10 university's department of physics as Director of Academic Support and was responsible for many things that included their graduate program. I am not a physicist, but peripherally learned as much as I could about natural laws without having the 6-7 years of intricate mathematics required to understand their research at an elementary level. This book made me laugh out loud because it reflected the interactions of physicists on a daily level . I was there as their liaison with the bureaucracy and rules that physicists don't believe in; they challenge everything. My husband read a section that made me laugh out loud twice but he didn't get it. My sister is a Senior Nuclear Engineer at a Nuclear power plant. I highly recommended this book to her because she will definitely get it. If you have a subtle sense of humor and a curiosity about scenarios involving natural laws, you will like this book. Go to Amazon

5.0 out of 5 stars Three months wait and not a single super-sonic windstorm. It's been a long three months, but at least the earth and all it's terrestrial objects didn't stop spinning while I waited.I pre-ordered this book in June and enough time had elapsed in the ensuing weeks that I was pleasantly surprised and mildly curious when a nondescript package arrived at my door late last night.As I ripped the corrugated cardboard open I was assaulted by bright red embossing on a tasteful white cover. "What If?" The dust jacket inquired.I was reminded of the eponymous Hitchhikers Guide with the words "...DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover."Firstly, the quality of the printing if excellent. Images are crisp and the book has a nice weight and expensive feel.Randall's signature attention to detail is prevalent throughout the entire construction from the map on the inside of the dust jacket to the excellent footnotes sprinkled throughout the text.I do not think I am going to far in saying that this book is the epitome of scientific inquiry.Ask questions, learn something.It manages to educate, empower, and entertain all in the same stroke.Mr. Munroe has joined the likes of Bill Nye, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Carl Sagan, and Richard Feynman in the echelon of excellent science communicators. Go to Amazon