#there was a pre-made solar viewer that you could hold up - but that had a very green tint and i didn't want that

[myothertardisisonthemun]

In just under 20 days, I am flying to Western Australia to see a solar eclipse.

Because it's so dangerous to look at the sun directly, I've been trying out sun viewing equipment.

Got to find something that won't give me a headache, or worse, damage my eyes.

I got these specialised eclipse binoculars a while ago. They're celestron, a mostly respected brand, and have all the right certifications. They are second hand though.

I feel fine after using them, if a little dazzled - sunlight gets in around the sides . I plan to 3d print something to go around them to block that, which hopefully will make them fine to use.

I have since found out that they're only supposed to be used when an eclipse is nearly at totality. So if you're using some yourself, please do your own research rathet than going of just this post

Even then, I'd like a second option.

This is an Aliexpress solar filter designed for my telescope. I don't trust it on the telescope.

Even holding it up to the sun while wearing sunglasses - (despite my eyes collecting a thousandish times less light than the telescope) - after a short time I feel like I've been at the beach all day without sunglasses.

I will not be bringing this to Exmouth.

Next up is the cheap, but more legit cardboard solar glasses from the astronomy shop in the city:

These use the same baader film tech as the filter above.

Despite being from a reputable source, these still feel too bright, and make my eyes feel funny. Even when combined with sunnies.

Just today, this arrived:

This is a pair of shade 14 welding glass lenses - nasa recommended, and the darkest ones I could get my hands on.

They're perfect.

They turn the sun into a much fainter greenish yellow ball.

It is soooo much easier on the eyes than any of the tools I tried above.

Now what I need to do is go and make something to use them in

[ilovelocust]

The Price Of Flowers - Chap 4

Note: This is the longest chapter so far, but there wasn’t a good place to break it up. Everything kind of flowed into the next part, so you get extra to read. Enjoy all. Poor Keith though, this is the start of things going down hill for him.

<< First < Prev

Chapter Four - Is Love Enough?

Shiro had once told him that riding behind another guy could be a bit awkward for other men. Something about too much chest to back contact involved to hold on properly, making it weird. Shiro had never minded because he’d take any excuse to put his hands on Keith, but other guys, especially those who felt a bit insecure, might care quite a bit.

Thankfully, Lance wasn’t one of those guys. When Keith offered to drive him to the “thing”, sparing him having to ask Hunk to borrow his car again. Lance had agreed with enthusiasm. He’d texted Keith back with the address immediately, along with a time to stop by.

Which is how he ended up here, pulling up in front of the little house Lance and Hunk rented together. Keith kills the motor and kicks down his kickstand. Dropping his helmet on a handle before walking up the scraggly lawn. There was an unfamiliar car parked beside Hunk’s in the driveway. Company? Maybe that’s why Hunk had to abandon all his plans with Lance this week.

Like college housing everywhere, no one bothered to insulate when the residents couldn’t afford to move somewhere better anyways. A heated argument, no, no one sounds angry, more like a very loud impassioned discussion, drifts through the walls as Keith approaches. Most is lost to indistinctness, but the words “doesn’t work” “treatment” and “it will” were clear enough. Keith knocks extra hard on the door. He has no intentions of invading their privacy.

“He’s here!” Someone shouts, followed by the sound of thumping as someone rushes to the entrance. Lance throws open the door with a smile, “You made it!” Lance says stepping out and shutting the door quickly behind him. Keith only gets one look at Hunk’s pinched expression before his view is blocked, “Are you ready to go?” Lance says, already stepping off the front porch and heading out to the street.

Keith spins around and hurries to catch up, “You’re excited,” Keith observes. He’s pretty interested too, ever since he found out Lance’s thing was actually the space exhibition being put on by the local museum, but Lance looks half a beat from just running there himself.

“I’ve been looking forward to this for a while,” Lance says, picking up the spare helmet Keith had strapped to the back of his bike. The helmet is black, much like his own, except with a purple stylized kitten head on its back. His own has the same design in red. He and Shiro had bought them as a matching pair, after Shiro insisted on replacing his old ratty one. There may have been some commentary in there about Keith reminding Shiro of a cat, but even someone like Shiro was allowed to be wrong sometimes.

“Well I’ll make sure to get you there on time,” Keith clips his own helmet on and throws a leg over his bike. Without a moment’s hesitation, Lance slides in behind him. Wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist and holding on tight. Lance always does that, like he’s scared of falling off or something, “I’m pretty good at this, you don’t have to worry,” Keith assures him.

“I’m not worried,” Lance says. Not worried eh? Keith guns the engine, streaking off down the street. Lance shrieks, and Keith, well, good thing the helmet hides his grin.

-

It’s Friday afternoon, so the exhibit is pretty crowded. He’s grateful Lance’s pre-ordered tickets have them walking straight past the long line waiting outside to the exhibit proper. Absolutely nothing looks fun about sitting in line with a bunch of bored kids.

The inside of the exhibit is something else. Whoever put this thing together deserves a promotion. There isn’t one little dinky room set aside with a moon rock or two. The museum has dedicated a whole section to the display. Little signs point towards the various areas of interest, from the things astronomers had learned from the Hubble Telescope to the possibility of someday colonizing Mars. There is so much to see.

“So where do you want to go first?” Lance asks, stepping in close to Keith. Their shoulders bump with proximity, but in this crush of people it’s the only thing keeping them from getting seperated.

Keith examines his options carefully, but truly there is only one answer he was ever going to give. Something he has dreamed about since he was a child, and still does hope to accomplish some day. Keith’s face splits into a huge grin, a kid set free in the candy store, “Astronauts.”

Lance shakes his head, “You would,” Lance says, smiling almost fondly. He reaches for Keith, hesitates for a moment, then grabs Keith’s wrist, “Come on mullet, let’s go read about people that have heads even further out in space than you.” With a tug, they are off. Zig zagging through the crowd towards the first exhibit.

The exhibit is designed to progress through time. Guiding its viewer through the story of mankind’s trip to somewhere beyond the earth it was born on. It begins with Cosmo the first mammal in space, onto Neil Armstrong, to the first probe on Mars. Their journey temporarily stops at that portion of the exhibit, while Keith gets the chance to show off a lifetime of collected trivia to a group of excited six years olds. If there parents hadn’t come to collect them, he’d have happily stayed there most the day. It’s rare to find people outside of Shiro, who find what he has to say interesting.

It’s when they are leaving that display, heading towards a life sized model of a modern astronaut’s living quarters, that things start to get weird. Lance has been holding onto Keith wrist off an on for pretty much the entire time they’ve been here. Ostensibly, he’s doing so that they won’t get separated while wandering, but it’s while waiting behind the other patrons, that Lance does something strange. They’re standing in line and then Lance is slipping his hand down from Keith’s wrist to catch Keith’s hand with his own.

Keith stops trying to peek around the corner to get an early look, and glance down at their joined hands, “Umm, what are you doing?” Keith asks. He’s not the most socially aware, but he’s 99% certain this is a weird thing for male friends to do.

Lance’s looks away sheepishly, like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but he doesn’t move to change his grip, “It was getting a bit awkward to be holding your wrist all the time. I kinda looked like some control freak boyfriend scared to let you walk free,” Lance explains.

Maybe, he could see how they might give off that image, people thought all sorts of strange things, but the new grip was giving those people an equally inaccurate portrayal of their relationship, “Well, we’re in line now, so you don’t really need to hang onto me at all,” Keith says, shaking off Lance’s hand.

“I guess,” Lance says, rubbing the back of his head, “It was kinda nice though?” Lance looks up at Keith with expectant eyes.

Keith blanks. Nice? What did? Just what? “Uh, ok,” Keith says instead of anything more meaningful. The space before them opens and Keith seizes the distraction, “Hey look, it’s our turn. I’ve always wanted to go inside one of these,” Keith says hurriedly, stepping into the model.

If Lance is disappointed by Keith’s non-answer, Keith isn’t looking to see it, “Look at these beds, can you imagine having to sleep strapped in every night?” Keith says, trying to get them back on track for their fun evening.

“They must end up having pretty strange dreams,” Lance replies without enthusiasm.

“And here is where they store the freeze dried food. I loved this stuff as a kid, Dad used to buy it for me when he went into town,” Keith says without thinking, and now the awkwardness is being pushed back by memories of a time long gone. Dad’s old pickup rattling down the dirt road leading to their tin roofed shack. Hollering out for Keith to come help with their meager groceries, that still always managed to have a treat sneaked in for Keith.

He must stay quiet a moment too long, “They probably sell some in the gift shop.” Lance’s voice breaks the chain of memories, “I could buy you some if you like?” Lance offers, from right beside him. When did Lance step so close?

Keith shakes his head, “Nah, it fine,” He says, stepping out of the model. It’s lost a bit of its charm for the moment. Outside is there is a presentation on some of the challenges of space travel, with little graphs and pictures. A good diversion for his thoughts.

It’s pure chance that has him stopping in front of the display on Hanahaki’s disease. Seems NASA has avoided any of their astronauts becoming afflicted while in space, but as the possibility of long term manned missions to other planets in our solar system come closer to reality, they fear a real possibility of having that lucky streak broken.

If someone where to hide their pining until the ship launched, long distance curing of the disease could be awfully tricky. Not everyone will have their vine growth destroyed or stalled by hearing a voice on the line saying they love you too. Leaving a high possibility of requiring surgical removal. No one wants to be the first person forced to perform lung surgery in zero-g.

“You know, when my grandma was young they used to call it the Lover’s Curse,” Lance says, hovering uncomfortably close once again. Keith’s heard of the disease referred to that way before, mostly by the elderly, “But she always said it should be called the Lover’s Blessing instead.” Keith quirks an eyebrow at Lance. He struggles to see how suffocating slowly because you are in love with someone that doesn’t love you back could be seen as a blessing.

“It’s true,” Lance says, not perturbed by Keith’s disbelief, “She said Hanahaki was a blessing, because if you had it, it meant that you really loved someone. People whose feelings are transient don’t develop the disease. Only those with true love in their hearts can catch it.” Lance is smiling softly, looking off as if he can’t see his grandmother spinning her tale.

“That’s why you should never get rid of it, she said. You’ve been given a gift from beyond and to throw it away would be the gravest of insults to your own feelings,” Keith doesn’t miss the supernatural tinge Lance puts to his explanation. Seeing how they still can’t figure out how someone catches the disease, it’s not exactly a rare belief that there is something more to it than a cold.

“But an insult is better than dying.” Keith points out. He has to, because nothing is sadder than those stories of young boys and girls slowly choking to death in a hospital because their crush panicked and ran, yet they still refuse to have those feelings removed.

Lance’s face grows serious, more serious than Keith has ever seen him. Blue eyes look straight into to his own, “When you love someone. Nothing is more important,” Lance says. Something about that statement rings true. Can he really call anyone out, considering his own feelings for Shiro? If the older man hadn’t loved him back and he’d developed the disease, could he have really walked into a hospital and had those feelings just cut out of his chest because they were impractical?

“I guess you’re right, in a way,” Keith says, “It’s not a simple problem.”

Lance relaxes a bit at Keith’s concession, “Of course I’m right, I’m always right,” Lance says with a cheeky grin. Keith lets him have his victory, and doesn’t point out he very clearly said, in a way, “Hey, why don’t we take a walk outside. There’s something I need to tell you, and I’d prefer somewhere with a few less people eavesdropping.”

They’ve already hit most of the things he wanted to see, so there is hardly a reason not to, “Sure, sounds good,” Keith says.

Lance doesn’t grab for his wrist or hand this time, and Keith appreciates that. They’ve had enough awkwardness for one evening.

Lance takes the lead, and guides them towards the closest exit that won’t set off an alarm. The fresh air outside is a nice change, as is the space. Keith feels a bit less like a human bowling pin than he had constantly trying to dodge people inside the exhibit.

Surprisingly, Lance doesn’t start speaking the second they are free of the crowd. If anything he seems a bit lost in his head. Keith knows what it’s like to try and get the words straight for something important, so he doesn’t push. Just picks a direction that looks nice and starts walking.

They make it two blocks before the bomb drops, “I have Hanahaki.”

Keith nearly trips over his feet, “What?” He must have misheard.

Lance stops walking and turns to Keith, “I have Hanahaki’s disease, the Lover’s Curse, I’m host to flowers,” Lance elaborates. Oh god.

“How? When?” How had he not noticed? How had no one noticed? No surely, others knew. Coughing up flowers wasn’t subtle, unless Lance just found out?

“I started seeing petals a while ago, but I guess I kinda always knew something like this might happen. I’ve felt this way for years.” Lance is scratching the back of his head again, as if admitting to a friend you have a potentially fatal disease is only something mildly embarrassing.

“You need to tell them. Whoever it is you need to tell them how you feel immediately. This is your life.” Keith’s reaching out, grabbing onto Lance’s shoulder for emphasis, barely holding off the urge to shake him. He’s not overreacting. Putting off telling your crush your feelings, is how young healthy men and women, with full lives ahead of them, end up dead on the sidewalk.

“I can’t just tell them. It’s more complicated than that,” Lance says, but he doesn’t shrug Keith off.

“Explain,” Maybe it’s as simple as distance. The person is too far away for Lance to just pop in and admit his feelings. If that’s the case, Keith will get Lance the money he needs. He doesn’t care if has to go begging door to door or sell off half his belongings. He doesn’t have many friends and he won’t let any of them die if there is anything he can do to prevent it. He’s already lost too many people.

“They don’t know that I like them,” Lance confesses, head sagging forward, “I’m worried about scaring them away by coming on too fast.” Okay, well yes, he can remember what that was like, but him dithering over telling Shiro that he meant more to him than just a friend wasn’t playing russian roulette with his life.

“Lance, look at me,” Keith waits until Lance is looks him in the eyes, “You won’t scare them away. If you care for them, give them a chance and tell them the truth. You may be pleasantly surprised.” That’s how these things went. The fear of rejection was almost always larger in your head than the actual possibility of it.

“Still…” Lance’s voice trails off, before he can even start.

“You’re a great guy Lance. You’re fun to be around, and they’d be an idiot not to want you,” Keith says, and it’s the truth. Whoever this person is will probably be flattered when Lance confesses. People love Lance, and it’s not every day that someone develops Hanahaki from pining for you.

“Thanks Keith,” Lance say. He grasps the hand Keith left on his shoulder, pulling it down to hang between them, “That’s what I needed to hear.”

Keith looks down at their clasped hands in confusion. Dejavu, why? “Keith, I’m in love with you.” Keith’s head jerks up, staring at Lance. He’s what? “I have been for years,” This has to be a joke, “Ever since we got so close while Shiro was gone.” An elaborate joke…There is not an ounce of humor in Lance’s eyes. He’s…He’s…Lance is serious.

“I’m in a relationship,” Keith says. The words feel numb on his lips, his head light like he’s in free fall with no ground in sight. He’s not prepared.

“I know. I know,” Lance says, pushing on. Unlike Keith, he’s had time, “And I was happy to wait for you. I know when he came back from all that it wasn’t a good time, so I kept quiet,” Lance squeezes Keith’s limp hand, “But circumstances have changed, and I love you Keith. I love you like no one else does. This disease, it just proves that. Proves that my feelings for you are something special. This is the universe’s sign we were meant to be.”

“I’m in a relationship, with Shiro,” Keith repeats, like the addition of two words will change the flow of events sweeping over him.

“Look,” Lance is searching for something in his expression he won’t find, “I know this is a lot to take in. I’m sorry, but this is our chance. I want to be with you Keith.” Words abandon Keith. There isn’t a response to any of this.

Lance lets go of his hand, “I’ve got my own ride home. You take some time to process everything, and I’ll call you back later, okay.” Lance gives him a quick hug, before stepping away.

“Okay,” Keith says. Maybe Lance waves goodbye, maybe he disappears in a puff of smoke. Keith can’t say which. Just at some point he’s alone on the sidewalk, and whatever stalled his systems decides to let go and let him panic.

Oh god, Lance is in love with him. Lance is dying. Lance is dying because he is in love with him. Lance is dying and instead of getting treatment he’s wasting time to go paintballing with Keith and hanging out at museums. Doesn’t he understand how serious his situation is? Why, why would he? Where these dates? He dating Shiro, Lance knows that. Why is he confessing to him? Why is he taking him out on dates? Why had no one talked to him about this. Hunk.

Hunk’s concerned face earlier. Letting Lance borrow his car for something that maybe Lance never planned to take anyone but Keith too. Hunk must know something.

His phone is out and dialing Hunk’s number in a flash. The line picks up, and Keith doesn’t wait on polite greetings, “Did you know about this? Did you know that Lance is dying?” He hisses, because there will be no misunderstanding what he is talking about. No beating around the bush. He will have answers.

“So he told you, then,” Hunk’s voice is tired, as if this is the inevitable conclusion of something he’s seen building miles away. He did know then.

“He told me he has Hanahaki’s and that he loves me. Why hasn’t he had them removed?” Keith’s only a decibel away from shouting, and he knows, he knows Hunk probably doesn’t deserve this. But he can’t stop himself. The dam has been broken and his emotions are now running free.

Hunk sighs, “Lance is old fashion. He doesn’t believe the flowers are something to be removed.” Hunk explains. His grandmother. A gift from beyond. Idle conversation, taking on horrible new meaning as statements of intent.

“I’m in a relationship,” Keith says, as if maybe third time will be the charm, “I don’t love Lance. I love Shiro. He has to see a doctor.” Surely Hunk can explain that to him. Pull him away from the fairy tail leading him over the edge.

“I know.” Hunk says, and he’s getting so tired of everyone else having already had time to think this all through, “I’ve tried telling him that, but he’s certain you’ll change your mind if you get a chance to see what a great guy he is.” There is a moment’s pause, before Hunk continues, “Look Keith, I’ll try talking to him again. Maybe he’ll listen this time, but I’m pretty sure he won’t. In the meantime, can..can you do me a favor?”

If it will get someone to talk so sense into Lance, he’d do anything, “What do you need?” Keith asks.

“Can you at least consider it?” What, Hunk too? “I know it’s a lot to ask, but he’s my best friend and I’m scared. I don’t, I don’t want to watch him die.” Hunk says in a rush, and the fear tinting his voice is too obvious to miss.

“Hunk…” What is he supposed to say?

“I know he may stick his foot in his mouth sometimes.” Hunk fills the silence, “But he’s a good guy, and he thinks the world of you. Please just, just give Lance a chance.”

“I…I…” He’ll what, leave the man he loves? Or maybe he’ll sit by while Lance dies. God what will he do, if Lance doesn’t change his mind?

“I have to go. Lance is calling,” Hunk says, “Goodbye Keith, and please think about it.”

The call ends, and Keith is left alone with the unthinkable.

Next >