#there was a disconnect between the pharmacy and my doctor's office
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One of the rudest things about lexapro withdrawals, at least in my case, is that even after you get the notification that your meds are ready to be picked up (finally, the angels are singing), you don't feel in a right state to even think about leaving the house, much less getting in your car and driving to the pharmacy and talking to the lady at the counter and drive all the way back home
#sword speaks#there was a disconnect between the pharmacy and my doctor's office#I've been off it for more than a week and I am Not Having Fun#(for those who don't know what that entails it feels like having the flu. I'm also constantly dizzy brain-fogged and have a headache)#i haven't been able to do much of substance all week#not even watch tv cause I can't focus on the plot for too long#and I wanted to use this time to do spring cleaning but so much as the thought of sweeping makes me nauseous#I had to take a breather after reheating some soup yesterday cause omg standing and the sensory overload was too much#and the only light that was on was my stove light! what bullshit!
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Psychiatrist appointment kept getting rebooked on both our ends and was cutting close to the 6-month mark (when I'd be officially considered discharged if I didn't come back) but it finally happened yesterday
Last time I saw him, he said my main problem was psychosis, which is true and that probably was my biggest problem at that point
This time, he said he doesn't think I have psychosis at all
I asked if we could try a depot, because I'm having issues taking my meds as part of my relapse and a depot would make it a little bit easier
He says he can't do that because I don't have a diagnosis for something an antipsychotic would be used for
I have a diagnosis for something that an antipsychotic would be used for and have had this diagnosis for the last 9 years
I ask why I need a diagnosis of something specific in order to receive a depot
He tells me "I need to tell them why you're taking it"
Who the fuck is "them"?
He wants to increase my Seroquel to 100mg
Even 75mg of Seroquel is too much for me to take on a daily basis and I have to cycle my dose throughout the week between 75mg and 50mg
He wants to change my antidepressant from Wellbutrin to Prozac
I give him the heads-up that Wellbutrin doesn't do anything for my MDD but works for my ADHD, so taking me off it would leave my ADHD unmedicated, but this doesn't seem to bother him
I've taken other antidepressants similar to Prozac in the past and they didn't do anything for my anxiety, sometimes made my anxiety worse, usually didn't do anything for my depression, and were not worth the stuff that would happen to me like hair loss, hallucinations, rapid mood swings, dissociation, etc., but this is fine to him
He wants to give me the liquid form of Prozac because it's easier to control the dose, but oral suspensions have been the hardest medications for me to take right now and I'd fare better with a pill
I just finished taking 28 doses of a liquid medication in 7 days, please give me time to breathe before starting a new one
He wants to change my antidepressant because I'm in a bit of a relapse and one of the potential side effects of Wellbutrin is reduced appetite
One of the potential side effects of Prozac is reduced appetite
The increased hunger caused by my Seroquel outweighs any possible reduced hunger from my Wellbutrin
He says my main issue right now is anxiety and that's another reason why he wants me on Prozac
I ask him what had led him to say anxiety is my main problem so I can clear up any possible misunderstandings, since I don't feel like that's my main issue at the moment and I don't know what I've said or done to make him believe that
He says "Because that's my opinion"
I ask if it's my body language, my tone of voice, my word choices, etc. leading him to that conclusion
He says "None of those things"
I ask, if not one of the things I listed, what else could it be?
He says "Because that's the impression I get"
I ask why he gets that impression
He says "I just do"
I can see that he apparently gives prescriptions based on vibes rather than actual symptoms
After going around in that conversational loop at least 5 times, I say "Okay" and disconnect the video call
I talk to a social worker at CMHA who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about when he says I need a diagnosis to get a depot and she convinces me to reconsider whether I want to give up on this doctor already
I call his receptionist the next day and she says that he meant he would need to tell my diagnosis to the drug manufacturer
The receptionist also says I'm already officially discharged less than 24 hours after speaking to him, so I guess the decision of whether to go back has already been made for me
I talk to a nurse at CMHA, a pharmacist at my pharmacy, and a receptionist at my GP's office, and none of them know why he would have to tell my diagnosis to the manufacturer
#speaking of not well adjusted#maybe she was born with it maybe its body dysmorphia#plot twist it wasnt allergies#convince yourself
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I’ll Stay Awake (because the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight)
AO3
Masterpost- Previous- Next
Summary: Virgil doesn't get to meet his soulmates each night. No, he has nightmares. His roommate decides to stage an intervention.
A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I was close to representing actual therapy. I really probably should have done more research and I’m sorry v-v
Content Warnings: Cussing, Nightmares, Self-harm, Depictions of drowning, Panic, Paralysis, Anxiety Medications
Day 12 Anxceitmus (background Logicality)- You meet your soulmates each night in your dreams
"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!"
Virgil tore through the broken landscape, avoiding holes in the floor and checking around every corner. The demon with glowing green eyes pursued relentlessly, cackling laughter peeling off the rusted metal surfaces and echoing so that he couldn’t tell where the source was coming from. All Virgil could do was keep running.
He rounded a corner and found himself face to face with a half-man half-snake, the face grotesquely split between each form. The human hand raised up toward him. Virgil backpedaled to escape its grasp.
"Sssstop!" the creature hissed. Virgil pulled his hoodie around his face and screamed.
He bolted upright in bed, still screaming. His roommate groaned and rolled over, turning on a lamp on his nightstand.
"Another nightmare, kiddo?" Patton looked a lot less caring than he sounded.
"Sorry," Virgil whimpered, fidgeting with his bed covers.
"Logan and I are pretty used to being interrupted by now. I just wish you could meet your soulmate instead of having these awful, scary nightmares," Patton yawned, "I'll leave the light on for you, maybe that will help." Patton rolled back over and was snoring in minutes.
Virgil sat in bed, unable and unwilling to fall back asleep. To keep himself awake he blasted music through his headphones and scratched at his skin.
When the morning alarm rang out, Patton yawned and stretched out of the bed only to find Virgil up and working on homework. The dark bags under his eyes gave him away. Patton frowned and walked over, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. Virgil jerked back, breathing hard, shaking off Patton's hand and tipping the chair dangerously close to falling back.
"Hey kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Patton smiled but Virgil only growled in response, flipping up his hood to hide his face. "Aww, I'm sorry."
"I'll be fine," Virgil glared at Patton and opened his desk drawer. Inside was filled with energy drinks. He grabbed three, stuffing two in his backpack and cracking open the third.
"Virgil, I'm worried about you."
"Well, don't."
Patton sighed and started getting ready for his day.
Virgil finished his drink before his 8 am calc class. By 8:15 he was already cracking open the second one.
Virgil sat with Logan and Patton during his lunch break, picking at a bowl of soup that was nearly unidentifiable.
"Virgil, Patton told me you didn't sleep again last night," Logan stated matter-of-factly.
"What do you care, wonder nerd?" Virgil bit back.
"We're your friends and we're worried about you, Virge," Patton smiled sadly.
"Honestly you might need professional help. You should look into a therapist to talk with about the nightmares. You can't live on sugary caffeinated drinks forever," Logan reprimanded him. Virgil glared at Logan.
"I know a guy who's really easy to talk to. At least try?" Patton tried to make eye contact but Virgil emphatically ignored him. Patton sighed, "whatever, we just want you to be able to take care of yourself and not scratch yourself raw every night. If you decide to try, here's Dr. Picani's number." Patton slid a slip of paper across the table to a stunned Virgil.
"How did you know?" he asked quietly.
"I just know what I'm looking for when it comes to that kind of stuff," Patton looked uncomfortable and Logan placed a comforting hand on his back.
"Okay.. thanks," Virgil didn’t look up as he gathered his stuff to leave the cafeteria.
Virgil felt locked in his car. All he had to do was get out and walk inside the office building, but he felt paralyzed in the driver's seat. This was such a bad idea. There was no way this would help. He needed to get out of there go home and pack up and get on the next flight out of the country and hope that no one ever tried to talk to him agai-
His phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but answered on autopilot.
"Hello, Virgil Strike speaking."
"Hello, Virgil! This is Dr. Picani. I'm just calling because our session was scheduled to start at 4 but you're still sitting out in your car-" Virgil looked up and could see a man in the building window on the phone waving to him, "-are you okay? Do you need to reschedule?"
"No, I'm sorry, I-. I'll be in in a minute," Virgil waved back and disconnected the call. After a herculean effort, he made his way inside and was greeted by Dr. Picani who led him back to his office.
"Now, Virgil, I think I'll spare you my normal introduction," Picani grinned at the inside joke with himself, "this is a safe place for you to say anything. Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you talk with someone else about it. Understand?" Virgil nodded. His pulse was spiking but Picani's calm demeanor helped immensely.
"Alright, so let's get to know each other a little bit! What's your favorite cartoon?" the doctor grinned widely as though this were a completely normal question to ask.
"Uhhh does anime count? If not I'd have to say 'Happy Tree Friends'," Virgil stared the doctor in the eye as he jotted down the answer.
"Edgy! What about Spongebob?" The smile on his face never broke. They continued to talk until Dr. Picani worked the conversation around to why Virgil decided to come to therapy.
"My roommate and his soulmate think my lifestyle is pretty unhealthy, and it only really got bad when I started having nightmares instead of dreams after my birthday," Virgil scratched the back of his neck. It was hard to admit that he hadn't had a soulmate dream like everyone else did after their 18th birthday. To his surprise, the therapist didn't laugh or scoff.
"And how are the nightmares affecting you?"
"Well, I usually wake up screaming in the middle of the night and can't let myself go back to sleep. I'm lucky if I get 3 hours a night. Which means I'm falling asleep in Calc almost every day, not that I'm behind in class, and I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks," Virgil paused and took a huge breath, "and this has become kinda a problem." He pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie to show the therapist the scratches and scars on his arm. "It's not like cutting! I just kinda scratch to keep myself from falling back asleep after the nightmares."
"Oh my, your friends were right, Virgil. This is very unhealthy. I'm glad you took their advice and came in," Dr. Picani smiled warmly to reassure Virgil. They spoke for the rest of the hour and just before Virgil left the doctor spoke up again, "Virgil, I'd like you to try an over the counter anxiety medication. We may need to get you a prescription for something that's stronger but I'd like you to try something over the counter first to see if you feel better. I think your anxieties are affecting your dreams. Maybe we can take that edge off so you can get some more sleep, which will have a domino effect on everything else. Maybe with better sleep, you can work on using less caffeine, which will help you feel calmer. Let me know how it works when you come in next week."
Virgil nodded hesitantly but stopped at a pharmacy on the way home anyway. He was ready to try anything at this point.
Patton was waiting when he got back to the dorm.
"How'd it go?" he asked with a bright smile.
"Doc's weird… but I think it's going to help," Virgil smiled back, setting his bottle of pills on his desk.
Virgil popped two of the pills. Patton had gone to sleep already and was happily dreaming. Probably talking with Logan too. Virgil settled into bed, uncertain of what the night would bring.
Virgil’s legs and feet were bound together with a thick tentacle that pulled him beneath the water before he could cry for help. Dragged underneath, Virgil found his lungs filling with water, but then discovered he could breathe the water without his body screaming for air. The tentacle dragged him deeper and deeper into the murky water.
After what felt like an eternity, Virgil could see a giant pair of green eyes reflecting in the formless dark. He kicked and struggled against the creature.
"I've got you now! Stop struggling, you emo nightmare!" a voice growled from the darkness.
"Let me GO!" Virgil cried out, tearing at the tentacle with his hands. The grip on his legs loosened and he kicked free, swimming towards the surface.
Rising to the surface, Virgil was tossed by the waves onto a sandy beach. He coughed up the seawater and laid on his back, sun burning down on him. Too hot. He couldn't move as the sand baked around him.
A cool, smooth sensation crept up his foot and leg. Virgil couldn't move to see what it was as it moved up his torso. He heard a soft hissing and opened his eyes to find a yellow snake staring back at him. He tried to scream but had no voice, tried to throw the snake off but couldn't move.
The snake… shook its head?
"Honessstly, why do you keep avoiding usss?" the snake spoke with a lisping voice.
Virgil found his and replied, "what the hell do you want with me?" His eyes were wide with fear.
"You haven't figured it out? We're your sssoulmatesss."
Virgil sat up in bed in a cold sweat. The bedside clock showed it was much later than he normally woke up in terror. Patton slept undisturbed. Virgil felt almost calm enough to go back to sleep. Not that he wanted to if his soulmates were monsters.
Over the next few weeks, Virgil used over the counter anxiety medication regularly. He felt a lot calmer in class and the nightmares were a lot less terrifying.
After a few sessions with Dr. Picani, Virgil picked up prescription medication and felt immensely more relaxed.
The landscape was still hellish and broken. Virgil didn’t feel like running. Instead of a demon, a boy his age with gorgeous green eyes and a streak of silver in his brown hair rounded the corner, ready for the chase.
"Alright let's fucking do- wait you aren't running," the boy looked confused and a little disappointed.
"You aren't a demon so why would I run?" Virgil shrugged.
"Oh my god, finally! Let's go find Double D," the boy grabbed Virgil by the wrist and started dragging him down the hall.
"What's your name?" Virgil asked, catching up to the other and twisting his hand so they were holding hands.
"Ooh you're fresh!" he chuckled, "just wait until we find Double D."
"Who's Double D?"
"Our other soulmate."
"Woah two soulmates?"
"Yeah, neat huh?"
"Sure, why 'Double D'?"
The boy stopped walking and turned to face Virgil, "we were waiting for you to tell each other our names and you took your sweet time so we gave each other nicknames. That's why you're Emo Nightmare and he's Double D."
"So what are you called?"
The boy grinned manically, "Fucker."
They continued walking through the twisted halls until they found another boy with one golden brown eye and one dark brown eye smiling at them as they rounded the corner.
"There you are. Did you finally catch him?" He asked in a silky smooth voice.
"Nah, for once the emo didn't want to run," the green-eyed boy grinned.
"Well maybe you two shouldn't have acted like monsters," Virgil smirked, "so, who are you guys?"
The green-eyed boy was practically bouncing out of his shoes, "I'm Remus!" he blurted out.
"My name is Janus," Janus held out a hand to Virgil, "and you are?"
"Not telling you," Virgil laughed at the scowls each of them gave them, "I'm kidding. My name is Virgil. It's good to meet you guys."
"Likewise," Janus grinned as Virgil took his hand.
Remus picked them both up in a strong vise-like hug and twirled them around. They continued to talk the rest of the night, agreeing just before they woke up to not exchange direct addresses or phone numbers until they all met in person.
Virgil woke up more refreshed than ever, excited to find his soulmates in real life. Occasionally the dreams still started as nightmares but he was able to recognize Janus and Remus in the terrors and they could help talk him down from the fear. Each night they got to know each other better, talking about school and work and hobbies and everything else they could think of.
One day when a stranger with two different colored eyes sat down across from Virgil in the cafeteria, it felt as though Virgil had known him his whole life.
Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @tsshipmonth2020
#tsshipmonth2020#Soulmate September 2020#dream sharing#soulmate au#nightmares#drowning tw#tw drowning#paralysis tw#tw paralysis#self harm tw#tw self harm#cursing#anxcietmus#logicality
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Dear Internet: How I'd Stop SOPA
Having said all of that, a large number of alcohol and drug users in the London area choose to rehab using the free services provided by the NHS. Many practices were unsure which mail-order pharmacies accepted e-prescriptions and believed that, even when a mail-order company did accept them, the process was unreliable. But, the more people you have, the more cost effective it is for your company. A payday financial loan on-line correct fact - the provider does not perform for every person, online pharmacies canada but there are rewards for people who do locate achievements. The payday bank loan business is laden with negatives. These two seemingly disconnected developments in Swiggy’s business story are, in fact, related. For instance, you may provide some of your customers two prints for the regular price of one or a free roll of film for every four rolls that they have developed. There may be some side effects in the form of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, and headache. You may already be aware of the recent investigation by the New York attorney general's office that uncovered a massive herbal-supplement scam. Many people read about the online doctor consultation services and internet based doctors who provide online services and helps to solve the issues as soon as possible, so that the people can take the initial remedy at home only. Multiple Sclerosis patients who have to go on wholesome vegetarian diet can also consider taking organic wheat grass juice to supplement their deficiency for essential nutrients. Electronic prescribing, or e-prescribing, has multiple potential benefits, including helping to reduce the risk of medication errors caused by illegible or incomplete handwritten prescriptions. In this manner, while placing your order for tramadol online you might be sure that you only pay simply for the price of the medication alone, as well as for their shipment. As Frontline pet meds are really a 'too good to be true choice', bogus Frontline meds are sold and advertised like that as well. This is more so when there are many people and institutions in India that are using Internet in an illegal manner for selling medical products and services. Around the world, the most at risk from scorpion stings are the elderly and the young, so if a person is stung, it is always better to seek medical attention. Instead of using drapes or curtains, which are easily deposited by dust, plastic blinds should be used because they are easily to be cleaned. Head over to your local health food store and try one out, or make your own using this simple, inexpensive recipe. For those who have children at home, you have to make sure that your child's toys are able to be washed either manually or using washing machine. This exception was prompted in response to several commenters who requested some type of grace period for parties unable to comply with an exception for temporary periods of time. In a continued effort to provide bright line rules, Phase II creates a safe harbor provision for DHS entities making payments to a physician for his/her personal services. Does the company website promise not to sell or share your personal data with other marketers? Where can I sell my Amazon gift card? If you want to know how to use a Miswak chewing stick, you can ask just about anyone in Africa or the Middle East to explain it for you. The continued use of drugs strengthens the neurological pathways in the brain, and their activation quickens with each use. And when we say reliable, we refer to a shaver that could be use anytime you need one. When it comes to Homeopathy, which one of the following best represents your opinion? The remaining vast majority were called "rogue sites" because users could get controlled drugs online without a proper prescription. Do they request your prescription along with the name and contact information of the prescribing physician? The Information Technology (Intermediary Guidelines) Rules 2011 prescribes stringent liabilities for e-commerce websites in India. Although interests in publicly traded securities and mutual funds are excluded from the reporting requirements, this exclusion is strictly limited to shareholder information. Pet experts as well as owners are very much split between the different types of parasite flea and tick preventatives. Grapes have both a high sugar content as well as yeast which grows naturally on their skins and this resulted in the first wines being made from grapes. I have always loved it. If you are like me, you are still researching for the latest news about Viagra or Cialis. Serums are for nourishing, repairing and revitalizing and perfect for mature skin.
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‘Cruel’ Digital Race For Vaccines Leaves Many Seniors Behind
With millions of older Americans eligible for covid-19 vaccines and limited supplies, many continue to describe a frantic and frustrating search to secure a shot, beset by uncertainty and difficulty.
This story also ran on NPR. It can be republished for free.
The efforts to vaccinate people 65 and older have strained under the enormous demand that has overwhelmed cumbersome, inconsistent scheduling systems.
The struggle represents a shift from the first wave of vaccinations — health care workers in health care settings — which went comparatively smoothly. Now, in most places, elderly people are pitted against one another, competing on an unstable technological playing field for limited shots.
“You can’t have the vaccine distribution be a race between elderly people typing and younger people typing,” said Jeremy Novich, a clinical psychologist in New York City who has begun a group to help people navigate the technology to get appointments. “That’s not a race. That’s just cruel.”
While the demand is an encouraging sign of public trust in the vaccines, the challenges facing seniors also speak to the country’s fragmented approach, which has left many confused and enlisting family members to hunt down appointments.
“It’s just maddening,” said Bill Walsh, with AARP. “It should be a smooth pathway from signing up to getting the vaccine, and that’s just not what we’re seeing so far.”
Glitchy websites, jammed phone lines and long lines outside clinics have become commonplace as states expand who’s eligible — sometimes triggering a mad dash for shots that can sound more like trying to score a ticket for a music festival than obtaining a lifesaving vaccine.
After being inundated, some public health departments are trying to hire more staff members to handle their vaccination hotlines and specifically target seniors who may not be able to navigate a complicated online sign-up process.
“Just posting a website and urging people to go there is not a recipe for success,” said Walsh.
‘Terribly Competitive’
Like many other seniors, Colleen Brooks, 85, had trouble sorting through the myriad online resources about how to find the vaccine where she lives, on Vashon Island in the Puget Sound near Seattle.
“It was an overwhelming amount of information,” she said. “I knew it was here someplace, but it wasn’t easy to find out how to get it.”
After making calls, Brooks eventually got a tip from a friend who had spotted the vaccines being unloaded at their town pharmacy. When she dropped by her health clinic to inquire about how to sign up, it happened they were giving out shots that same day.
“That was totally serendipitous for me, but I actually personally know several seniors who just kind of gave up,” said Brooks.
Finding out how to get a vaccine appointment was more straightforward for Gerald Kahn, 76, who lives in Madison, Connecticut.
Kahn got an email notice from the state’s vaccine registration system telling him to make an appointment, but he ran into problems at the very end of the sign-up process.
“As much as I would pound my finger on the face of my iPad, it didn’t do me any good,” he said.
So Kahn did what many have and called a younger family member, who was able to help him finish signing up.
“I think there are a lot of people my age, maybe the preponderance, who can only go so far into the internet, and then we’re not only stymied but also frustrated,” he said.
When Helen Francke, 92, logged on for a vaccine at the designated time, she discovered the spots available in Washington, D.C., filled up almost instantaneously.
“It was evident that I was much too slow,” she said. “It’s terribly competitive and clearly favors those with advanced computer skills.”
The next week, Francke tried calling and going online — this time with the help of her neighbors — without success.
“If I had had to depend on the D.C. vaccination website and telephone, I’d still be anxious and unsuccessful,” said Francke, who got a shot only after finding information on a neighborhood discussion group that directed her to a hospital.
In Arizona, Karen Davis, 80, ended up on a roundabout quest through state and hospital websites with no clear sense of how to actually book an appointment.
“I kept trying to do it and kind of banged my head against the wall too many times,” she said.
Davis, a retired nurse, called her doctor and the pharmacy and then eventually turned to a younger relative, who managed to book a 5 a.m. appointment at a mass vaccination site.
“I’m sure they did not expect older people to be able to do this,” she said.
Miguel Lerma, who lives in Phoenix, said his 69-year-old mother has been unsuccessful in finding a shot.
“She’s not an English speaker and doesn’t know technology well, and that’s how everything is being done,” said Lerma, 31.
Lerma said it’s especially painful to watch his mother struggle to get the vaccine — because he lost his father to covid last year.
“She’s mourning not only for my dad, but she’s also suffering as an adult now because she depended on him for certain tasks,” Lerma said. “He would’ve handled all this.”
‘Desperate’ Seniors Look for Help
Philip Bretsky, a primary care doctor in Southern California, said his older patients would typically call him or visit a pharmacy for vaccines like the annual flu shot, rather than rely on novel online scheduling systems.
“That’s not how 85-year-olds have interacted with the health care system, so it’s a complete disconnect,” he said. “These folks are basically just investing a lot of time and not getting anything out of it.”
California’s recent decision to change its vaccination plan and open it up to those over 65 only adds to the confusion.
Bretsky said his patients are being told to call their doctor for information, but he isn’t even sure when his office, which is authorized to give the vaccines, will receive any.
“Patients in this age group want to know that they’re at least being heard or somebody is thinking about the challenges they have,” he said.
There are some local efforts to make that happen.
In the village of Los Lunas, New Mexico, public health workers held an in-person sign-up event for seniors who needed assistance or simply a device connected to the internet.
A Florida senior center recently held a vaccination registration event and a clinic specifically for people over 80 who might not have a computer.
Novich, the clinical psychologist in New York, teamed up with a few other people to create an informal help service for older adults. It began as a small endeavor, advertised through a few synagogues and his Facebook page. They’ve now helped more than 100 people get shots.
“We have a huge number of requests that are just piling up,” said Novich.
“People are really desperate and they’re also confused because nobody has actually explained to them when they are expected to get vaccinated. … It’s a big mess.”
The ongoing shortage of vaccines has led Novich to halt the service for now.
This story is part of a partnership that includes NPR and KHN.
Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.
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This story can be republished for free (details).
‘Cruel’ Digital Race For Vaccines Leaves Many Seniors Behind published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/
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‘Cruel’ Digital Race For Vaccines Leaves Many Seniors Behind
With millions of older Americans eligible for covid-19 vaccines and limited supplies, many continue to describe a frantic and frustrating search to secure a shot, beset by uncertainty and difficulty.
This story also ran on NPR. It can be republished for free.
The efforts to vaccinate people 65 and older have strained under the enormous demand that has overwhelmed cumbersome, inconsistent scheduling systems.
The struggle represents a shift from the first wave of vaccinations — health care workers in health care settings — which went comparatively smoothly. Now, in most places, elderly people are pitted against one another, competing on an unstable technological playing field for limited shots.
“You can’t have the vaccine distribution be a race between elderly people typing and younger people typing,” said Jeremy Novich, a clinical psychologist in New York City who has begun a group to help people navigate the technology to get appointments. “That’s not a race. That’s just cruel.”
While the demand is an encouraging sign of public trust in the vaccines, the challenges facing seniors also speak to the country’s fragmented approach, which has left many confused and enlisting family members to hunt down appointments.
“It’s just maddening,” said Bill Walsh, with AARP. “It should be a smooth pathway from signing up to getting the vaccine, and that’s just not what we’re seeing so far.”
Glitchy websites, jammed phone lines and long lines outside clinics have become commonplace as states expand who’s eligible — sometimes triggering a mad dash for shots that can sound more like trying to score a ticket for a music festival than obtaining a lifesaving vaccine.
After being inundated, some public health departments are trying to hire more staff members to handle their vaccination hotlines and specifically target seniors who may not be able to navigate a complicated online sign-up process.
“Just posting a website and urging people to go there is not a recipe for success,” said Walsh.
‘Terribly Competitive’
Like many other seniors, Colleen Brooks, 85, had trouble sorting through the myriad online resources about how to find the vaccine where she lives, on Vashon Island in the Puget Sound near Seattle.
“It was an overwhelming amount of information,” she said. “I knew it was here someplace, but it wasn’t easy to find out how to get it.”
After making calls, Brooks eventually got a tip from a friend who had spotted the vaccines being unloaded at their town pharmacy. When she dropped by her health clinic to inquire about how to sign up, it happened they were giving out shots that same day.
“That was totally serendipitous for me, but I actually personally know several seniors who just kind of gave up,” said Brooks.
Finding out how to get a vaccine appointment was more straightforward for Gerald Kahn, 76, who lives in Madison, Connecticut.
Kahn got an email notice from the state’s vaccine registration system telling him to make an appointment, but he ran into problems at the very end of the sign-up process.
“As much as I would pound my finger on the face of my iPad, it didn’t do me any good,” he said.
So Kahn did what many have and called a younger family member, who was able to help him finish signing up.
“I think there are a lot of people my age, maybe the preponderance, who can only go so far into the internet, and then we’re not only stymied but also frustrated,” he said.
When Helen Francke, 92, logged on for a vaccine at the designated time, she discovered the spots available in Washington, D.C., filled up almost instantaneously.
“It was evident that I was much too slow,” she said. “It’s terribly competitive and clearly favors those with advanced computer skills.”
The next week, Francke tried calling and going online — this time with the help of her neighbors — without success.
“If I had had to depend on the D.C. vaccination website and telephone, I’d still be anxious and unsuccessful,” said Francke, who got a shot only after finding information on a neighborhood discussion group that directed her to a hospital.
In Arizona, Karen Davis, 80, ended up on a roundabout quest through state and hospital websites with no clear sense of how to actually book an appointment.
“I kept trying to do it and kind of banged my head against the wall too many times,” she said.
Davis, a retired nurse, called her doctor and the pharmacy and then eventually turned to a younger relative, who managed to book a 5 a.m. appointment at a mass vaccination site.
“I’m sure they did not expect older people to be able to do this,” she said.
Miguel Lerma, who lives in Phoenix, said his 69-year-old mother has been unsuccessful in finding a shot.
“She’s not an English speaker and doesn’t know technology well, and that’s how everything is being done,” said Lerma, 31.
Lerma said it’s especially painful to watch his mother struggle to get the vaccine — because he lost his father to covid last year.
“She’s mourning not only for my dad, but she’s also suffering as an adult now because she depended on him for certain tasks,” Lerma said. “He would’ve handled all this.”
‘Desperate’ Seniors Look for Help
Philip Bretsky, a primary care doctor in Southern California, said his older patients would typically call him or visit a pharmacy for vaccines like the annual flu shot, rather than rely on novel online scheduling systems.
“That’s not how 85-year-olds have interacted with the health care system, so it’s a complete disconnect,” he said. “These folks are basically just investing a lot of time and not getting anything out of it.”
California’s recent decision to change its vaccination plan and open it up to those over 65 only adds to the confusion.
Bretsky said his patients are being told to call their doctor for information, but he isn’t even sure when his office, which is authorized to give the vaccines, will receive any.
“Patients in this age group want to know that they’re at least being heard or somebody is thinking about the challenges they have,” he said.
There are some local efforts to make that happen.
In the village of Los Lunas, New Mexico, public health workers held an in-person sign-up event for seniors who needed assistance or simply a device connected to the internet.
A Florida senior center recently held a vaccination registration event and a clinic specifically for people over 80 who might not have a computer.
Novich, the clinical psychologist in New York, teamed up with a few other people to create an informal help service for older adults. It began as a small endeavor, advertised through a few synagogues and his Facebook page. They’ve now helped more than 100 people get shots.
“We have a huge number of requests that are just piling up,” said Novich.
“People are really desperate and they’re also confused because nobody has actually explained to them when they are expected to get vaccinated. … It’s a big mess.”
The ongoing shortage of vaccines has led Novich to halt the service for now.
This story is part of a partnership that includes NPR and KHN.
Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.
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The new medical education building at the University of Mississippi Medical Center was dedicated in August 2017. UMMC photo by Joe Ellis
The University of Mississippi has announced the naming of the medical education building at its Medical Center campus in Jackson in honor of Gov. Phil Bryant. The naming of Phil Bryant Medical Education Building became official today (Nov. 16) with approval from the Board of Trustees of Mississippi Institutions of Higher Learning.
The new building – a 151,000-square-foot, $76 million state-of-the-art facility – was dedicated Aug. 4, 2017. Working with the Legislature, Gov. Bryant was instrumental in securing funding for the project, including $10 million in federal Community Development Block Grant funding through the Mississippi Development Authority to launch the effort, as well as helping to secure $66 million in state bonds.
Gov. Bryant’s commitment to bringing more physicians to Mississippi and to growing the state’s health care economy extends back to his term as lieutenant governor.
“Gov. Bryant has worked tirelessly over many years to ensure that the new medical education building would become a reality,” said Jeffrey Vitter, UM chancellor. “He recognized the vital need to train additional doctors as well as the tremendous impact this medical school will continue to have upon our state for generations to come.
“The new building and expanded classes will stand as a part of his legacy.”
At roughly 185 doctors per 100,000 residents, Mississippi is the most medically underserved state in the nation. Addressing this issue has been one of the governor’s highest priorities. His commitment to increasing the state’s number of physicians was a focal point of his 2013 State of the State address in which he observed that having more providers will create better health care access for Mississippians, resulting in lower costs.
“This honor is incredibly humbling and unexpected, and I am so grateful,” Gov. Bryant said. “I will continue to serve the university and its medical community in every way possible in order to be deserving of this distinction.
“It is my hope that this wonderful new facility will help grow and sustain our ability to provide the best healthcare possible for the people of Mississippi.”
Medical school leaders began increasing class sizes several years ago in anticipation of the new building. With the opening of the facility last summer, the entering class size grew from around 145 students to 155 this year, and will eventually top off at approximately 165 – the size considered necessary to meet the goal of 1,000 additional physicians by 2025.
It is projected that the larger class sizes accommodated by the new facility will generate about $1.7 billion in economic impact by 2025 and that the additional physicians trained will support more than 19,000 new jobs by the same year. The economic impact of practicing UMMC-trained physicians is more than $6.3 billion annually, and those physicians are estimated to support more than 60,000 jobs in the state.
“Gov. Bryant has been a great champion of the effort to build a new medical education building, which will ultimately lead to more physicians for Mississippi and greater access to health care for more of the state’s residents, particularly those in rural areas,” said Dr. LouAnn Woodward, vice chancellor for health affairs and dean of the School of Medicine. “We are extremely grateful for the governor’s exceptional leadership in helping us achieve our mission of training Mississippians to take care of Mississippians.”
Besides his central role in garnering funding for the new building, Gov. Bryant has more broadly supported medical education efforts in the state. During the 2012 legislative session, Gov. Bryant signed House Bill 317 into law to establish more medical residency programs throughout the state, a move intended to allow more Mississippi-trained physicians to remain in the state.
That same year, Gov. Bryant championed and signed legislation creating Health Care Industry Zones to spur expanded access to health care and grow healthcare jobs.
Gov. Bryant also has a longstanding history of leadership and advocacy in support of growing Mississippi’s health care economy, including two years of legislation that removed barriers to the full adoption of telehealth as a means of providing patient care. As a result, Mississippi has been recognized by the American Telemedicine Association as one of only nine states with an A-rating as a top state for telehealth.
UMMC also was recently designated one of only two Telehealth Centers of Excellence nationwide by the federal Health Resources and Services Administration.
Gov. Bryant also was instrumental in passing the Health Care Collaboration Act, which will provide new opportunities for UMMC to partner with rural hospitals and others to further expand medical services. During his terms, the governor has also devoted significant support to growing the Mississippi Healthcare Corridor, which includes UMMC as an anchor institution.
Gov. Bryant’s commitment to a healthier Mississippi is shared by first lady Deborah Bryant, whose career in health care spanned more than three decades. Health care is one of the pillars of her platform to improve the quality of life for Mississippians of all ages.
She is active in a number of health-related causes, including serving as a board member for the Diabetes Foundation of Mississippi, which honored her in 2014 as a recipient of the “Women of Excellence” Award. She is also a frequent volunteer at Batson Children’s Hospital.
Dr. Ford Dye, a member of the board of the State Institutions of Higher Learning and an alumnus of the UM School of Medicine, praised Gov. Bryant for his commitment to improving medical education in the state.
“When Gov. Bryant first came into office, he set as a top priority the need to increase the physician workforce in our state to provide quality health care for our citizens,” Dye said. “He led the way to obtain necessary funds to build this incredible new building, which will house the School of Medicine at UMMC.
“Without his strong leadership, this new building would not have been completed. We are grateful to Gov. Bryant for his vision and service to the people of this state and are delighted this building will be named in his honor.”
The new medical education building was designed and built to house the School of Medicine, which was originally in the Medical Center complex that opened in July 1955. Over the years, demands for space have grown, and, as the Medical Center expanded, the medical school splintered into a network of disconnected sites, including some makeshift offices and labs.
“Naming the building housing the medical school after Gov. Bryant is a fitting tribute,” said Glenn Boyce, commissioner of higher education. “He has demonstrated an unwavering commitment to improving the health of all Mississippians and has pursued this goal with vision and passion. His vision will change the medical landscape of our state and help generations of Mississippians lead healthier lives.”
The medical education facility includes a cutting-edge simulation training area, which was made possible in part by grants totaling nearly $5 million from the Hearin Foundation. It is also equipped with a mock operating theater – funded by the UMMC Alliance and the Manning Family Fund for a Healthier Mississippi – virtual reality spaces with high-fidelity task trainers, a clinical skills center, flexible-use spaces and more.
Located on the north side of campus, between the Student Union and the Learning Resource Center, the Phil Bryant Medical Education Building will house the educational core of the School of Medicine. The building’s neighbors include the schools of Dentistry, Pharmacy and Health Related Professions, along with the Bower School of Population Health in the new Translational Research Center.
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An unthinkable way to lose your mom and why it's important we talk about it now.
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Instead of talking about me, my pre-existing conditions, my frustration and fear of what millions of Americans stand to lose because of the American Health Care Act, let’s talk about you.
More specifically, let’s talk about your mother.
You know those stomachaches she’s been getting on and off for the last six months or so? Maybe it hasn’t been six months. Maybe they started over the holidays: She was complaining about it at Thanksgiving while you were standing next to her mashing potatoes, but you weren’t really paying attention. At Christmas, she seemed a little more run down than usual, but, you know, she’s getting old. Aren’t we all, right?! She said something about menopause, and you noped the fuck out of that conversation. You don’t need to hear about how she and your father haven’t had sex in two months because she’s in pain or how sometime around Easter she started losing weight really fast because she’s so nauseated she can’t eat anything.
She did go to her doctor, but he told her it was probably stress.
She might start an antidepressant. She has the prescription, they gave her one, but she hasn’t filled it yet because deep down she doesn’t think she’s depressed. She just feels sick, except it’s kind of vague. She doesn’t really want to tell anyone lest she worry them unnecessarily. It's a mother's trait. It’s probably nothing.
Six months from now, she finds out too late that it’s ovarian cancer.
She should have known — that’s what her aunt had, but of course no one talked about it "back then." Apparently they don’t really talk about it enough now either.
She tells you the news when you breeze into town the night before Thanksgiving — too late to really help her with dinner preparations, but she lets you pour yourself a glass of the good wine. You start crying almost immediately, yet she seems eerily calm about it.
See, she had a bunch of other stuff in her medical record — high cholesterol, for one. She had ovarian cysts as a younger woman, not that she ever told you. She thought they'd gotten better after she had kids. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe she should have paid more attention.
In any case, she can’t seem to get her insurance company to pay attention.
She doesn’t want to have more tests or even see her doctor because for a while there, the co-pays were getting "a little out of hand," she'd thought.
Then it seemed like her insurance company was just denying everything her doctor wanted her to have. She tries to explain that to them, tries to say it wasn’t that she didn’t want to have the biopsy or the CT scan, she was just worried about the bill. Her doctor tells her she is being "noncompliant," but she would be wiling to comply if she thought she and your father could afford it.
She’s supposed to be on these medications, but they aren’t covered. Her doctor doesn’t seem to understand the disconnect between the pharmacy and the insurance provider. He suggests that she just call the pharmaceutical company directly and ask about getting it through charity care or something.
Your father says they’ll remortgage the house if they have to, but your mother says, "Oh, no, no, no. We’ll figure something out."
They haven’t yet. She knows they need to be thinking about it, but she’s feeling very tired.
She’s going to have to stop working soon — she’s been taking too many sick days.
Maybe she could get short-term disability, but this whole situation doesn’t exactly feel short-term. She would ask more questions, but she’s just so tired. She hurts. She’s not sleeping well, and she doesn’t have much of an appetite. When the timer on the oven goes off and she turns to tend to it, you see how thin she’s gotten, but you don’t say anything.
Later that night, when you’re in your childhood bedroom trying to fall asleep, you hear your dad’s weird, honking crying from the hall bathroom.
She dies by Christmas. At her funeral, you realize she was so much more than just your mother.
First, she was a daughter. It turns out your grandmother also dies just after the New Year, and everyone whispers that it was a broken heart that did it.
She was the love of your father’s life. Even though it always made you feel awkward to consider it, now that she’s gone and he’s the broken half that’s left, you understand completely what it means that he loved her longer than you did.
She was the "beloved" older sister, the "cool" cousin, the "fun" aunt.
You find out three different women considered her their best friend, and more people than you’d ever met or known about at least considered her a good friend or a shoulder to cry on.
You realize midway through the service that several generations of her students are there, and the ones that are now in college revert back into runny-nosed first-graders when they see you. She was the "favorite teacher," "the best teacher," "the only teacher who ever." Her colleagues tell you, with their tired, red-rimmed eyes, she had been nominated for Teacher of the Year for the fifth time, that they’re going to put a bench with her name on it in the courtyard, that her picture is hanging in the office.
You leave rather abruptly, excusing yourself as you twist away from the conversation. You look for your dad and find him out back of the funeral home, by where they park the hearses.
"She would rather have died than make us lose the house or dip into the money we set aside for you," he says, and his voice isn't unkind and there's no blame placed on her or you.
"Why the hell was she even thinking about money if she was so sick?" you sputter.
"If she was going to die, she didn’t want to bankrupt us. It was hard enough if she wasn’t able to work, but, you know — medical bills on top of that. It was a lot, kiddo. She was trying to protect us."
"She didn’t want to think that you’d ever be in that position, where you couldn’t afford to be sick. Where a funeral was cheaper than another round of treatment, or a hospital stay," he continues.
"She didn’t want be a burden on you or me or anyone. She didn’t want to be the reason we lost the house or used up the money we had set aside for you. She didn’t want to have to go on the Facebook and ask people to donate money to us."
"People would have. If they’d known," you begin to say.
"She didn’t want it to be like that," he says simply. "She worked hard all her life. She paid her dues. She just thought — I mean I guess we all thought that was enough, you know? To have rights. To have access to health care without losing your shirt."
"She was my mother," you squeak, and you’re crying now, "I loved her. I love her. I would have done anything. I didn’t know — she didn’t — I didn’t even know ..."
Your father, who has never been all that good at hugs, wraps an arm around your shoulder. He smells like American Spirits and shoe polish and that perpetual new carpet smell of a funeral parlor.
"She loved you more than anything. Like any parent, she just wanted to make sure you’d have a better life than she did," he says, and it’s so quiet, you hardly hear his words. But the weight of them you feel.
This story first appeared on Medium and is reprinted here with permission.
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