#there really isn't much you can do in this situation

[beautiful-basque-country]

What do you think? https://youtu.be/WW4D-1Sa-r8?si=8peyR-RkNAeYOynL

Kaixo anon!

Somehow I thought somebody would ask me about that video? I watched it yesterday.

I'm suscribed to Linguriosa's channel and have learnt very much from her videos, that are generally well researched and explained.

This one isn't different. She tries to be somehow aseptic and focus on the laws that attacked Galego, Català, and Euskara during the dictatorship without too much assessment or analysis beyond that.

For instance, she says that the first ikastola (school 100% in Basque) was opened in Donosti in 1954 but fails to mention it was actually a clandestine school. She also fails to add context when she says thatin the 60s - the so-called "liberal phase" of the dictatorship" - magazines and records could be edited in Basque.

By that time, 23 years - a whole generation - of repression and punishment and making people ashamed had passed; that thousands of Basque-speakers had left their homes (27,000 to Cuba and +7,000 to France, just in 1937, and we're talking about the registered immigrants; it's calculated that half the people that escaped Spain did it illegaly);

Literally millions of people from the rural communities of Spain moved to the industrial capitals - especially Barcelona and Bilbo -, which made the few Basque speakers remaining not to interact in Basque since maaaaaaaany citizens were now from outside EH and Spanish, even though not over imposed by law as before, was very much imposed by the situation;

This is to say that by the 60s when Franco allegedly changed his mind and was so gracious as to let Basque people have content in our language, Basque was a TINY language on the verge of death. Unimportant. Incidental. Completely safe.

Then I see comments below Linguriosa's video saying something like "I am Basque and I was always taught that Basque was super banned under Franco and now I see that I was fed propaganda" and my heart breaks. Because this is exactly what happens when you fail to give as much context as possible to actually let people understand the whole picture and story.

Because, really, if you know nothing about this and watch the video, you actually get the idea that Franco became more tolerant regarding the minoritized languages in Spain as he got older and what he was actually doing was just laughing at our people: see? you have freedom to use your language now, too bad nobody can speak it anymore!

I'd love to know the takes of my friends @useless-catalanfacts and @jar-jar-ate on this, if they oblige! ^_^

[chimerafeathers]

the concept of intentional boredom/tedium in video games is very much a "your mileage may vary" kind of thing and i go back and forth about it in different situations. where does it work? where does it feel earned/worth the mental toll? why am i gonna play a game that is trying to make me miserable?

i can understand this not being the case for everyone (ymmv, after all) but for ISaT i was so fucking fully on board with the repetitive tedium of it all. rubbing my grubby little hands together and going yesssss, yesssssss, make my immersive gameplay experience directly emulate the exact frustrations and anxieties and mind-numbing breakdowns of the player character. remind me, at every turn, the toll this would take on the person living it. make me live their inner monologue before it's ever verbalized on screen.

how strong you feel, compared to the party you're inevitably leaving behind, how weak they seem now. how annoying it is to cut down these same enemies again and again, always pointlessly getting in your way (oh, how convenient that Siffrin feels the same way so intensely that you can get an item that lets him scare them off by sheer force of will before they attack you!). since when was the King's battle--so terrifying, so impossible before--so easy? can't this go faster? you've heard this all before.

let me skip ahead, loop around, treat my character my body Siffrin as disposable, take the fast and easy way to reach the next goal when you're on the verge of an exciting breakthrough, this loop doesn't matter anyway. but ohh, this next loop might be The One, better do this one right and follow the script to perfection. make all the jokes and say all the right things to get the lovely bonding dialogue so you can carry the Best Version of Everyone through to the end. that'll give you the Good Ending, right? can't hurt to try, right? you don't really believe it but this time will fix everything, right?

how generous and wonderful to have so many shortcuts at hand! dissociating zoning out to skip repetitive dialogue, splitting your head open on a rock slipping on a banana peel in the town to loop right to the floor you need, suuuuurely all of this stuff is purely for the Player's Convenience and won't have any psychological impact on our dear protagonist such that it gets slammed back into the player's face as a stomach-dropping reminder that someone's moment-to-moment experience in this time loop still matters, still carries over, still gets riddled with scars even if they can't be seen!

i've played & watched enough games that trivialize/hand-wave game mechanics that it's pretty easy to detach myself from the minutiae of video game decision-making. "this input gets the Good Response" -> "i will continue doing this input." "this option will be more efficient" -> "might as well save some time then." but this game would not let me stop thinking about consequence.

picking Siffrin's favorite food makes them happy! :) it's also the option that makes Bonnie the happiest! yay! -> i keep picking their favorite food -> Siffrin gradually grows sick of something that once brought him joy -> oh. right. that...makes sense, huh.

okay i asked the King what i needed, mann there won't be any tears after the fight is over so i'll have to do the whole ending scene again and that takes a while and i reeeeally wanna talk to Loop, maybe i'll just lose on purpose this time -> OH. RIGHT. THIS IS MAYBE THE MOST PAINFUL WAY FOR SIFFRIN TO DIE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HUH. -> never gonna do that again actually!!!!! the ending isn't that long!!!!

banana peel time! we've got places to be and mysteries to solve! -> (you're a living comedy sketch.) (you wonder if you'll ever be able to smell bananas again without wanting to vomit.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

it's always cute to see Isabeau's reactions! pick the options that make him blush :3 -> (disgusting. manipulative. it's no wonder he thinks he likes you, you made him feel that way.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry siffrin NO he liked you before any of this happened please don't think of yourself that way--

maybe it won't hit the same for every player (what game can expect to do that?) but holy fuck it hit for me. the way the mechanics let you fall into familiar gamey rhythms but constantly, constantly remind you that this is Siffrin's life you're playing with. the way you end up perfectly in step in the worst ways. muscle memory and habit built up so well that you both stumble when something changes. devastating and delicious

[yawping-poets-society]

we don't talk enough about cameron's first real scene, where he talks to neil outside his dorm before todd arrives. in case anyone doesn't know what i'm referring to, here's the dialogue from the scene:

Cameron: Hey, Neil, study group tonight?

Neil: Yeah, sure.

Cameron: Business as usual, huh? [turns to leave, then] Hey, I heard you got the new kid. Looks like a stiff. [laughs at his own joke] [Todd enters] Oops. [Cameron leaves]

so let's talk about it!!

cameron opens with the study group question. this is pretty straightforward to me-he knows he's none of the poets' favorite, and certainly not charlie's. neil is his foremost supporter, pretty much the only one who sticks up for him, so this makes sense. he's checking with neil, his 'in' to the group, to make sure he can hang with these guys. he wants to be part of their circle so badly, and that's pretty clear from the get-go.

and then he hits us with this whole "stiff" business. this is a major thing i've seen people use to justify their hate of cameron and i really struggle with that.

because, well...this is SO undeniably awkward. neil tells todd just a moment later not to mind cameron because he was "born with his foot in his mouth." so off the bat, that's not something you say about someone who's consistently rude or who you don't like. that's neil sticking up for cameron. he's saying, sorry todd, he means well, or at least, he doesn't have any ill intentions. cameron's just not got the best grasp of social cues, that's how he is. this is a pretty valid explanation in and of itself, but if you'll walk with me a little further, i've got a deeper theory about why cameron makes this comment.

more than just it being awkward, this casual friendliness, haha, new kid, a mild insult said with much bravado...this isn't really cameron as we see him for the rest of the movie. though he does remain relatively awkward, it doesn't really match his character of being cautious and trying to not stand out, to fit into the group (as we see in his first line). so how to explain this action (because i don't believe the explanation is just: cameron is being an asshole/being awkward)?

to me? this is what cameron thought charlie would say. isn't that almost exactly how charlie always talks about cameron, after all? for a great example, see later in the same scene:

Charlie, about Cameron: What's his specialty, bootlicking?

so maybe cameron believes that this is how friends treat each other. or at least, how they talk about other people to entertain their friends. charlie, while not a stellar student and clearly not liked by the administration, is the class clown, which makes him popular with students at welton. thus, cameron is probably jealous of charlie. he probably wishes he was more like charlie-confident, funny, well-liked, etc. and again, he clearly wants to be friends with neil, and part of their larger group, very, very badly. all of this to say:

i don't think cameron meant what he said about todd.

he's trying to get a laugh out of neil. so what does he do? he does what he thinks charlie-neil's funny best friend-would do. it's not a nice thing to say, but to me, it really just reads as someone who is trying to guess what the appropriate, funny thing to say in a situation is, but doesn't actually know. cameron might not have even really thought the 'stiff' joke was funny. but he thought neil would find it funny, which is really the whole point. cameron is, at the most fundamental level, an unpopular kid who wishes he was well-liked, and is fumbling around blindly trying to find his way there.

[sdmnpact]

Heyyyy can you plz do a fan fic of George Clarke x reader where they look after the readers little cousin for the day and they go out to different places

Day Out.

George Clarke x Reader ff

~~~

Are we still on for today? 😘

You received that text from your boyfriend George Clarke, you love the boy to pieces and today you two had a whole date planned. He had spent so much time planning such a lovely day out for the two of you. Unfortunately or maybe not so unfortunate your aunt had just asked you if you could babysit your cousin.

As much as you would love to go out with George, you know your aunt needs your help and of course you love your cousin so you couldn't resist seeing them.

Sorry baby, my aunt needs me to watch my cousin, y/c/n. Remember them? Raincheck?? 🥰

You sent back. You were hoping he wouldn't be upset by this as he knows how much you love your little cousins. You looked at your phone screen as bubbles appeared then disappeared repeatedly.

What if we take them along with us? 👀

You didn't hate the idea. Your cousin hasn't met George yet and you don't know whether they'll be fine with it or not but who knows maybe it'll be better than you think.

Alright then xx

>>>

"Okay now, his name is George and he's a really nice guy, I think you'll like him." You explained to y/c/n who was hesitant on meeting this guy. You looked in the rearview mirror to see them still slightly discontent with this situation but you know that once they meet him, they'll love him.

You finally arrived at George's flat, calling him to come out. He came out with a backpack on holding a small plushie. You narrowed your eyes, wondering where he pulled that from. You watched at he walked up to the back window.

"Hey there." He said waving the plushie in y/c/n's face. You saw their face light up as they reached for the plushie as George smiled widely. He gave the plushie to them as they laughed happily. You 'awwed' at the sight watching as he got into the car.

"That was sweet." You grabbed his hand. He leaned forward and gave you a small kiss on the cheek. "Well, I'm only sweet." He winked at you as you let go of his hand and rolled your eyes. He laughed as you began driving. "So where are we going anyways? Shouldn't you be the one driving?" You said driving aimlessly. "Well it isn't that far from here, I'll drive after this." You nodded as he pulled up the maps on his phone.

You finally arrived at the destination, an outdoor mini golf course. "Mini golf? Is this what you had planned for us?" He nodded smiling from ear to ear. "Only the finest for ma' lady." He is such a dork, but he's your dork.

All of you went up to the putting booth and grabbed your equipment. Y/c/n seemed so happy to be there. "Yay golfing!!" They shrieked as they ran to the first hole while you walked side by side with George. "They're so cute!" He gushed as you grabbed his arm. "I know, they're just like me" You batted you lashes at him as he playfully shoved you off.

"I'm gonna beat both of you!" Y/c/n shouted grabbing the club in their tiny arms. "Is that so? Well, I'm the golf master!" George said getting his club ready. You chuckled to yourself as you watched them playfully fight with their clubs.

"Okay, settle down, let's do this."

You know George is a big softie but you've never seen him like this. When he's around children, he sort of turns into a big teddy bear. You watched as he would playfully tackle your cousin, hugging them in his arms or helping them putt when they couldn't get the angle right.

You couldn't even concentrate on the actual game but rather George's interactions with y/c/n.

"Y/N! It's your turn!!" Y/c/n shouted at you as you were caught up watching George.

"Distracted, are we y/n?" George smirked. You shot him a little glare but sent a cheesy smile to your cousin.

You set yourself up for the shot, taking your sweet time aiming the putter.

"Any day now" George teased as you just shook you head, finally striking the ball, getting a whole in one.

"Was that good enough for you?" You said a bit sassy, swishing your hair at him. He playfully rolled his eyes coming over to grab your waist.

"You're actually really annoying" He towered over you, the breeze sending a whiff of his cologne, you basked in his musky scent.

"You're one to talk, so obsessed with me." You chuckled lightly pushing past him.

The three of you continued your game of mini golf, with y/c/n taking first place at the will of George who you watched purposely throw the game so your cousin can win after you explicitly told him not to. Of course that meant you got second place and you couldn't not rub it in his face.

After mini golf, George planned on having a picnic for you two at a botanical garden but since your cousin has gone along, he decided a park would be more suitable.

You guys arrived at the park and found a nice spot on the grass underneath a giant oak tree.

He laid out a large blanket, unpacking all the food he had packed for you guys. Sandwiches, crisps, fruit, juice, gummies. He had packed a whole meal for you lot and you couldn't have been more appreciative of the thoughtful man that sat in front of you.

"Here you go baby, just how you like it." George laid out a plate in front of you filled with your favorites.

"You're so ridiculously sweet." You teased, pinching his cheek making him blush a bit.

You watched as your cousin went off to play on the playground. "Be careful!" You shouted making sure they don't injure themself.

"Calm down, mom, I think they'll be alright." George chuckled taking a bite of his food.

"I just wanna be cautious, if there is one scratch on that little head, my aunt will have my ass on a swivel."

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." He reassured, getting closer to you. He sat behind you, wrapping his arms around your body. He planted a soft kiss on the top of your head.

You sat there for a while in his arms watching your cousin play on the swing set. "You fancy having one, one day?" He asked you suddenly making your eyes go wide with shock.

You have been dating for quite a while now and seeing as basically all your mates are having babies, you can't say you haven't thought of having one with George.

"With who?" You joked earning a smirk from him.

"Of course, I'd like to have one, one day. I need to find Mr. Perfect first." You continued.

"What if you've already found him?"

"Then I'm the luckiest person in the world." You looked up towards him, the sunlight beaming through the leaves down on his face showing just how beautiful he is.

You enjoyed spending time with him, safe in his arms. You loved him deeply, and you made sure that you always showed him that.

After a while you both laid back on the blanket looking up at the clouds.

"Look at that one." He pointed out. "Looks like a heart. It's almost as big as the heart I have for you."

You looked at him and he turned to look at you. "I love you, so much."

"You know I love you with my entire being." He replied back brushing a loose strand of hair from your face.

You brought you hand to his face, brushing your thumb against his cheek. It was a moment of bliss. Just you two in this vast open world, without a care in the world except each other.

"Y/n!" Y/c/n yelled as you sat up, forgetting about them for a split second.

"What's up?"

"Can we get ice cream?" They asked pointing to the truck that pulled up near the playground.

"Of course, come on, I'll take you." George said standing up, grabbing their hand. "Get your usual babe?" You nodded as a reply.

He walked off with your cousin, hand in hand. Seeing George with a small child was making you go crazy with happiness. You know that he will be the best dad ever.

~~~

After you enjoyed your ice cream. you got a text from your aunt telling you that she was home.

"Your mom wants you home now? Shall we go?" You said brushing your cousin's hair.

"NO! I wanna stay with Georgie!!" They yelled grabbing onto his leg. "Aw it's okay, we'll see each other again, next time I'll plan a better day out for all three of us." He said picking them up.

Your cousin hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go.

He walked like that to the car and placed them in the backseat.

You both got in the car and you began driving towards your aunt's house. George grabbed your hand, shooting you a toothy grin. You shook your head at him as you looked back towards the road.

You finally arrived and got out to greet your aunt.

"That's your boyfriend?" She asked as she walked up close to you. You two watched as your cousin said their goodbyes to George.

"Yeah, he's a sweetheart." You gushed.

"He's a keeper, make sure to tie that one down."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to do that." George said holding y/c/n as he walked up behind you.

"Thank you and nice to meet you." She said taking y/c/n from him, shooting him a smile.

"Nice to meet you too." He said as she winked at you, walking back inside the house.

George grabbed your hand as he led you to the car, opening the passenger door for you.

"Thank you, but you're driving? Where're we going?"

"The night's still young."

---

A/n

This is such an adorable idea!! I hope you enjoyed it!!

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

Oh my God I'm such a twilight girlie you write him so good!!! Like I'm a blushing mess here giggling kicking feet the whole nine yards. Also making him thic is such a accurate power move 🤭🤤 one of these days I'd love to hear all your thoughts on the different 🍆 sizes for the links I just know it'd be glorious until then I shall devour all your writing repeatedly while imagining hot blondes (your four rut one is my absolute favorite I must confess)

Anon you flatter me!!

Hyrule: 4.9 inches. Now, before you come at me in the comments for making our fairy prince smaller than Four, hear me out: like I've said before, and continue to say, penis size is heavily affected by both genes and external factors, and even a slight discrepancy in either one can had mixed outcomes. 'But Fyre, we came here for sin, not a biology lesson!!', some of you may gripe, but I promise there's method to this madness. Ever since starting his first adventure at the ripe age of 9 or 10, Hyrule has been on constant alert because of 1) the literal cult trying to steal his blood to reincarnate a giant pig man and 2) the fact that his world is quite literally a wasteland with minimal food/tainted water/and all sorts of other nasty things. I can't even imagine the stress he was under during those frankly crucial developmental years, so it's highly likely that his body just... didn't fully develop due to a combination of him not getting enough to eat/drink and being on the run for most of his life (i.e lots of stress + probably a horrific sleep schedule). Moreover, both of these factors are what's known as endocrine disruptors, which can heavily affect mental and physical growth.

But now onto the dick-cannons: while he may not be the largest or thickest, I like to think Hyrule has a pretty good handle on what he's doing regardless*. Definitely not circumcised, considering his background (someone please tell him how to wash).

*(I once saw a headcannon that Hyrule probably used sex as a form of payment when things got tough, which I think is very underrated and absolutely true.)

Four: 5.5 inches. So I DEFINITELY did too much research on Four's, but I think y'all need to hear this. While I love the headcannon about Four's dick being 4 inches because his name is quite literally 'Four', I'm not sure anyone has tried to tackle this conundrum with his heritage in mind. Typically, penis size is influenced by parental genes, the person's own unique genes, and a combination of other external factors. For Four, we know for certain that he has Hylian parents, BUT he's also part Minish because of the events of Minish Cap. The Minish are typically described as anthropomorphic mouse people, so we can comfortably use mice as the basis for this genetic addition. Now, mice typically have a penis size of 10% of their body length (tip of nose to base of tail), which would concurrently put Four at 0.458333333 in feet, or 5.5 inches.

Dick-canons: probably circumcised. He's got the vibe of being pretty unassuming, but then he whips it out and everything suddenly makes sense. Balls* are on the bigger side (BREED), but no one's complaining.

*(Have you seen mice balls?? They're fucking [tee hee] massive. View at your own risk, but I couldn't have stopped the idea of Four like this if I tried. Yes yes I know this is a rat, but close enough!)

Wild: 5.6 inches. This one was probably the most difficult, because Wild's just... an average guy*. He doesn't have any non-Hylian transformations or crazy evolution history under his belt (tee tee), so all that really leaves is his height–which isn't a truly reliable measure of penile length, BUT we take what we can get in this blog–and background. It's somewhat implied that his father was a knight/someone who worked for the kingdom, which means he and Warriors were likely raised in very similar situations, though Wild's likely was a bit more stressful. For one, he pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal at the ripe old age of 12, and was immediately shipped off to guard Princess Zelda while she attempted to awaken her powers. While not as extreme as Hyrule's backstory, this is still a great deal of pressure for a child who arguably had a very peaceful life before finding the Master Sword, but I don't think he suffered any developmental conditions; even with the stress of finding out you're the Hero of Hyrule before you even finish puberty, it's reasonable to assume that Wild was physically cared for by the royal family, if only for the fact that his destiny was to defeat Ganon. Not just that, but there's the whole other issue of being stuck in a shrine for 100 years after dying; I'm no doctor, but that doesn't sound like favorable conditions for anyone. Obviously, the shrine heals him, but is that all it does? It's a well-known fact that water isn't good for skin**, especially considering he laid in it without moving for a century, so it's hard to imagine how his dick looked after the bath to end all baths.

Dick-canons: it glows– assuming he actually does have a penis, it's fairly average looking. Probably circumcised for military/cleanliness reasons, but he does have a very lovely vein running up the side of the shaft that always looks like it's about to pulse out of his dick. He should probably get that check out. Average sized balls, maybe a bit on the small side due to 100 years of cold water exposure.

*(I'm just going to come out and say this: all the Links are, at their core, average guys. Twilight was a goat herder. Time may or may not have been birthed by a tree and raised by tree people. Hyrule is just a simple traveler. Wind wasn't even chosen, he just wanted to save his sister. That's why they're so likable... they're not born special, or heroic, or anything. They're just dudes. Regular, selfless, boring, amazing dudes. Anyways enjoy the rest of my insanity.)

**(Is it wrinkly? Dried up? Completely and totally detached?? Laying in water for even a few days can cause severe medical complications, such as open sores, loss of skin elasticity, bacterial and fungal infections, and tissue decomposition. Cold water can temporarily slow the effects of decomposition because of adipocere formation, which is a phenomenon in which a waxy substance forms over the skin as a byproduct of fat decomposition, but not for 100 years. By this logic, Wild shouldn't be on this list because he shouldn't have a dick.)

Legend: 6 inches. Y'all already know where this is going. Unlike his successor, Legend didn't begin his first adventure until the age of 12, and lived a fairly stable life before hand thanks to his Uncle. This means that there likely wouldn't be too many developmental factors to worry about in determining the dick-cannons, so now we must turn to his rabbit-ifying encounter from his first adventure. I'm going to use the eastern cottontail rabbit (Sylvilagus floridanus) for this example because they're one of the most widely studied/available rabbit species. Now, cottontails typically reach 14-19 inches in length, but I'm going to go with 20 inches for Legend because he is CHONK, and also 20 is a lot easier to do math with. Keeping this in mind, WikiVet has informed me that rabbit penises can range from 20 to 45 mm in length. I'm going with 45 mm (4.5 inches) because he's a big boy and I also want him to have a big dick, so, when paired with the 20 inch body length, you'll find that approximately 8.86% of a rabbit's length is dick. Now that we know dick-to-body ratio, all that needs to be done is put that against Legend's height of 5'6", which leaves us with 5.8476 inches, but I added an extra 2 in to account for the fact that he is also hylian. It just feels right.

Dick-canons: Definitely a good choice if you're not sure what you want; bunny boy has many talents. Definitely has some breeder balls*, and I firmly believe he's curved just right for maximum pleasure. Probably circumcised because of his uncle, but he's secretly glad because it means he doesn't have to clean it like he would if he wasn't.

*(Yup, we're doing this again. Scientifically, rabbits have some of the highest sex drives of any animal, and are capable of breeding six hours after giving birth [WTF], which means this absolutely applies to Legend. He is never not down for a fuck.)

Sky: 6.3 inches. Prepare yourself because this one is very speculative. So, Sky was born on Skyloft, a set of islands in the sky. He was trained as a knight for most of his life and had a generally very peaceful life, so no endocrine disruptors or developmental discrepancies to worry about. Moreover, we know he started his journey at seventeen, which means he's at the tail-end of development. Now, instead of turning to some type of animal encounter, I'll turn to his Hylian heritage to answer this conundrum. I doubt there's anything out there with Skyloft's exact elevation, but it does appear to be a decent few thousand feet above the cloud barrier, which I've discovered are most likely altocumulus clouds, which typically form at an elevation between 6,000 to 20,000 feet. To calculate this, I watched a Skyward Sword gameplay video and determined that, in-game, it takes approximately 1:02.87 to reach the surface, and, assuming Sky/Link, is going at terminal velocity (the fastest an object can go while in motion, which happens to be 120 mph for belly-to-earth skydiving), this would put Skyloft at a roughly 7,544.4 foot elevation, which aligns with the altocumulus cloud prediction. There are only so many places on Earth that match such a high elevation, but I'm going to choose the Himalayas (which are inhabited by the Tibetan people, which are already known to have more capillaries and a more specialized hemoglobin function due to living in higher altitudes) as our comparer-region. Using this information, we can safely assume that Skyloftians, though fictional, who evolved in a very similar environment, may exhibit some similar traits to the modern-day Tibetan people.

While researching, I also discovered an incredibly interesting phenomenon called "airplane boners", which is a scientific occurrence where changes in pressure can cause erections (i.e. flying on a place), and decided that this would be perfect fuel for my scholarly degeneracy, which leads me to my next point: Sky has a big dick as an evolutionary response to what is colloquially known as the 'airplane boner'. Not convinced? Let me explain. When a penis is erect, arteries in the pelvic/penile region dilate to allow for greater blood flow, which thus increases the size of the penis itself. Now, imagine being at a high elevation for your whole life, surrounded by people whose ancestors have never lived anywhere else. I firmly believe that Skyloftians are well-endowed as an evolutionary response that allows the sustainment of larger blood vessels as a sort-of defense against high air pressure. Natural selection favors these traits because they ultimately lead to reproduction, which is the single-most important characteristic of evolution. 6.3 inches was a bit of an educated guess, but I believe that because the people of Skyloft evolved in a closed high-altitude ecosystem, it's entirely reasonable for Sky to be THICC because his body has a adapted to handle a greater hemoglobin factor and increased vascular capacity, likely in the penile region.

Dick-canons: due to the blood-vessel evolution, Sky's dick is likely thicker than average, with some very visible veins running up the sides; so many that it likely makes his dick appear incredibly flushed when erect. Contrary to what some of you may think, I don't think he has large balls, because it is likely more advantageous to have a smaller scrotum to combat the elements/conserve heat. So no breeder balls for him, but that doesn't mean he can't breed you just as good ;)

Twilight: 6.8 inches. I feel like this goes without saying, but he's a country boy. He's hung. Twilight grew up in Ordon, a close-knit community where everyone takes care of everyone, which means he most definitely had a very good childhood. Like some of the others, I see no reason to bring up developmental challenges due to being chased by a cult or some similar bullshit, so we're going to skip right to his transformation of a wolf at the beginning of his journey. Contrary to Legend and Four, I do not believe that this transformation affected him significantly in terms of penis appearance/size. Twilight was 17 when his adventure began, which means he already is at the end of physical development from a biological standpoint, and, in Linked Universe, his tattoos appear to be the only true physical mark on his hylian body, so it's safe to assume that we don't need to take this into consideration. Now, some of you may say: "Fyre, but your theories were so crazy for the other ones and now you're saying Twilight's hung because he's country??" Yes. Yes, I am saying that.

BUT.

There's a pretty solid theory running around that Twilight is a very small part Gerudo, due to Talon (Malon's father) having married/banged a Gerudo woman in secret. In LOZ, it's fairly obvious that the Gerudo are supposed to emulate modern-day Middle Eastern culture, which a study by the National Institute of Health states have an average penis length of 14.34, or 5.6 inches. Obviously, this is nowhere near 6.8, but this is also a race of mythical female warriors, so everything's a little skewed. However, in every iteration we see of the Gerudo, they're always tall, somewhat aggressive, and visibly muscled, which are all indicators of above-average levels of testosterone. This is highly important because, in addition to being required to build muscle mass, testosterone is heavily responsible for penis growth during puberty, meaning that Twilight could very well be the way he is because of this naturally-increased testosterone production (i.e why he's so visibly muscled compared to the other Links), plus an assumed more efficient vascular system due to his heritage. Adding on to this, Twilight likely already has booming levels of testosterone due to his very physical, very labor-intensive occupation as a rancher, plus the fact that he's in the prime of his life. In short, he's doing everything right: he eats well, works out, and has fairly decent emotional and mental health, all of which can be correlated with optimal penile development.

Dick-canons: Breeder balls to the MAX. All that extra testosterone has got to go somewhere, and it ain't his head. Fairly girthy, so prep is a necessity. Has one big vein right under the head that honest-to-god throbs when he's turned-on. Probably not circumcised because Ordon is fairly closed-off and I can't see them as being sticklers for that.

Warriors: 7 inches. While height isn't directly correlated with dick size, it is reasonable to assume that Warriors would be a bit higher on the list because of this, as well as his overall health in comparison to Hyrule and/or Legend. It's hinted that Warriors was raised in a very military-esque lifestyle, so it's not a surprise that he wouldn't have any true developmental setbacks in terns of penile length. Now, that doesn't mean we can't analyze the reasons why he's like this. Being raised in a militant environment means he was fed appropriately, participated in training regularly, and was likely taught stress-regulation habits (does he use them? no, but at least he knew them during his developmental years). Like Twilight, increased muscle mass is typically linked to elevated testosterone levels, and since Warriors has been training his whole life, it's reasonable to assume that these factors had a positive impact on his penile development. He and Twilight are very similar in this regard, except Twilight's size comes a bit more from favorable, wack genetics, though they both make sure to take care of themselves. However, Warriors is shown to be somewhat vain in Linked Universe canon (to the point that the other heroes have a running joke on it), which means it shouldn't be put past him to try more... under-the-table methods to ensue his 'perfection' reaches all aspects of his body, dick absolutely included. I'll leave it up to y'all on whether it's actual herbal/medical enhancements or sheer force of arrogance, but it's still a fun thought!

Dick-canons: Definitely circumcised (if not, definitely obsessed over keeping that shit squeaky clean). He's not as girthy as Twilight or Sky, but it'll definitely feel like he is from the way he wields it* during the deed. Doesn't have the biggest balls, but they'll definitely smack against any ass he can get his hands on.

*(There's a lot of speculation on whether Warriors is a manwhore or not, but I believe he's got experience. Definitely not in relationships, but one-night stands? Tavern hook-ups? He's done more of those than he's [un]willing to admit, but when it's someone he honestly, truly cares about? Slap a blush on him and call him a virgin, because he sure acts like it!)

Time: 7.3 inches. I saved the best for last. I want to preface this by saying that Time is HUGE, so obvious he's got to have a bitchbreaker in those britches, right? Right? Not exactly, because the version of Time we see in Linked Universe is the 'second' version; the one who got sent back in time by Zelda for Majora's Mask. This is HUGELY relevant because, honestly? Time likely took terrible care of himself over the course of Ocarina of Time, or at least somewhat neglected his needs in favor of completing his quest. Then, when he was sent back to being 12 years old in a new timeline by Zelda (Majora's Mask), you cannot convince me that he didn't have a major epiphany on how to actually take care of himself now that he was literally given another chance to get it right. He still trains, hard, but also knows his limits and, for the first time in his new life, he actually makes a point to start eating vegetables and drinking milk*, which give him all the essential nutrients to bridge the gap between surviving and living, especially during these crucial developmental years. Time genuinely makes an attempt to try. For himself, this time. And it pays off in the form of that fat-ass cock ;)

Dick-canons: a true bitchbreaker that will rail you six ways to Sunday. Not circumcised (bro was basically birthed by a tree), and definitely has breeder balls; he basically acts like he's in rut, and Twilight's got to get that trait from somewhere. Probably pretty veiny, like his hands (HNNNN), with just the slightest curve that'll have him hitting all the right spots.

*(Lon Lon milk all the way, my good readers.)

And, of course, I had to consult google:

[thatguyjam]

Highschool Sweethearts - Max Verstappen

Valentines event Masterlist <3

Max Verstappen x Male!ChildhoodFriend!Reader

You and Max Verstappen grew up in the same town, and went to school together, and quickly grew close. Although you didn't cart, you would always play with max's toy cars, leading to you being his best friend pretty quickly. His dad didn't like you very much, only ever seeing you as a distraction from Max's racing, but his mom always welcomed you with open arms, just happy that you could make her son happy.

As both of you got older, Max was away for racing more and more often, and the two of you couldn't help but separate a touch. Quite a bit actually, to the point where the once inseparable friends hadn't talked in years. That was, at least just until one day when you where towards the end of high school, he showed up at your door.

"Hoi- Max???"

"Y/N!!! Y/N guess what!!!"

Max came into the house like he lived there despite not having been there for years, buzzing with energy, only stopping to politely take off his shoes and look as you expectantly

"Huh?"

"Guess what"

"What?"

"Well, guess"

"Max, I haven't seen you in ages, how would I know? You've just randomly shown up at my house in the middle of the day."

"Oh yeah, it- I'm sorry it's just with carting and single seaters getting to a high level I'm hardly even in town, and whenever I am, dad is working me to the bone, I just- I'm sorry I haven't come by as much. I've missed you a lot. If it's any consolation you're the first person I've told? Even before my dad."

"Told what exactly? We didn't really get there"

"Oh! I'm gonna be a f1 driver next year!" Jaw dropping, your eyes widen as you stare at your childhood friend. Max takes your hand and pulls you to the couch as he rambles on, "Yeah, youngest ever, even younger than Vettel was. I'll be driving with Alpha Tauri, which isn't the best of course, but it is still very good, and they said if I perform well I'll definitely have a seat at Redbull."

Your brain finally catches up with the situation as Max continues on about things you never really understood, you think you hear the name Damiel a lot and mentions of F2, but your thoughts are going too fast to be sure. Looking up, you're finally able to really look at the blue eyes that have been absent from your life for too long. A feeling in your chest that you remember from when you where a kid bubbles up again, and there is nothing you can do as you surge forward and plant a kiss on Max's rapidly moving lips. His eyes go wide, and lips silent as he processes the situation, before he clumsily kisses back.

When you pull away, those big blue bambi eyes look up at you, cheeks tinted pink as he struggles to catch his breath

"That was- That was incredible. I've never kissed anyone before"

"Never? Awww, I was future formula one driver Max Verstappen's first kiss? Cute"

An even darker red forms over his cheeks as he buries his face into your chest.

"I'm glad you're the first person I told" he mumbles into your chest, pushing you further down onto the couch so that he can properly lie atop of you.

"Me too pretty boy, me too."

banner credit to @enchanthings-a

Taglist: (comment or dm to be added)

@koalapastries @justaf1girl

[sweatersexual]

I just saw somebody claim that Lirin couldn't feed his family due to his ideals so I'm bringing this post back

Also, running a "pay what you can" medical service isn't some pie-in-the-sky utopian fantasy. That's how a lot of community-based resources function. I think it's really easy to forget this in our modern society where a lot of us are so alienated from our neighbors, but in a small town like Hearthstone where everybody knows everybody, there's more accountability when it comes to community resources. People who try to freeload face social consequences much more easily than they would as an anonymized population in a city. Nobody wants to be the guy who ruined the good thing for everyone when everyone knows you and where you live

So you're going to do your part to make sure your town's only doctor can continue to treat people for free. Even if you have to start doing it under the table. Which is exactly what the people of Hearthstone did, and even then, Lirin and his family's standard of living didn't drop by too much. It was stressful but still tenable

That's also why Lirin knew revealing the faces of the men who came to rob him would work. He de-anonymized them and reinforced their sense of accountability. Those principles are what kept his family fed and his clinic operational for years on end. It was not such a huge gamble for Lirin to de-escalate a violent situation that way too

I think it's wild that people seem to think of Lirin as living in some ethics professor's ivory tower when his idealogy is very much grounded in the world of the brutal society he lives in. A lot of people have pointed out that Lirin was learning/practicing medicine during the reunification of Alethkar. He knew he was living under a tyrant. Gavilar was at the height of his power and knew how to maintain control. Violent rebellions get brutally put down under those conditions - we know what happened to Rathalas. Lirin has deeply held convictions about nonviolence, but his pacifism is also pragmatic. Lirin's resistance is rooted in empowering his community, that's why he refuses to leave them behind

Real life resistance doesn't look like Katniss Everdeen taking down bad guys with her bow and arrow (there's a reason Suzanne Collins goes out of her way to emphasize that Katniss is a symbol, not an organizer). Real life resistance starts with meeting people's needs and reducing their dependence on the corrupt system. That's what Lirin does. He doesn't rely on magic powers to save the day because for almost his entire life the remnants of his world's magic system were controlled by his oppressors. His ideals were not formed in a classroom, they were formed while he was doing real, unglamorous resistance work in the middle of a war

Tl;dr Lirin is an organizer who knows how to not only meet his own family's needs but his community's as well. He is a pacifist because he is deeply in touch with his lived reality. It's not his fault he doesn't know he's a side character in an epic fantasy

If you give lirin shit for staying in hearthstone you're wrong. It is made VERY clear in the text that while his family was under financial strain under Roshone, they were NOT starving. They weren't eating GREAT food but they were eating. They didn't go without any major necessities. And they could afford medical supplies on top of it. Also it's wild that people assume they could afford to move if they couldn't afford to eat. And Lirin says they could afford to move

Not going to downplay that financial stress is bad for a kid's home life but at the same time, you can tell that Lirin and Hesina were shielding Kaladin and Tien from most of it, which is what good parents do when they've fallen on hard times

And yeah, it would be a dick move to deprive an entire town of their ONLY medical professionals just because of a grudge. Do the lirin haters know what community building is and that you're not going to always get along with the people you're in community with. At the end of the day they were practicing mutual aid and I hope the lirin haters remember that the next time they call him a liberal centrist or whatever

[ben-talks-art]

Why is Desscaras so likable? 🤔

So something has been on my mind for a while now...

There's this series called "Ichi the Witch" that has been growing in popularity lately and among the cast of characters there's Desscaras, a powerful mage who's considered like a superstar among the witches for how good she is at her job, and Desscaras herself is aware of that and always takes as many chances as she can to be smug about it...

But for some reason it never feels annoying when she does it, and I'm very intrigued as to why that is.

Desscaras is basically a fusion of Bulma and Piccolo from Dragon Ball.

Much like Bulma, she's a young and bratty genius who gets stuck with this wild young boy and now has to work with him while going on crazy adventures while doing her best to keep him in check.

But she's also like Piccolo in the sense that she can also be very wise, observant, and calm when the situation calls for it and capable of taking advantage of what she knows and what she can do to come up with different solutions for different problems.

I kept wondering why her smug attitude never annoyed me like it usually tends to when it comes to other "full-of-themselves" types of characters.

Characters like Vegetta or Bakugou who because they're so strong, let it get to their heads and often end up behaving like total jerks in the earlier parts of their story arcs.

I feel like the reason it never bothered me with Desscaras is because, unlike these two, you never get a sense she's trying to prove something.

With Bakugou and Vegetta, you could always tell they were trying to make people understand they were hot stuff, to make it clear that they were the best, to convince others as much as they try to convince themselves to believe in their own hype.

It always had a hint of insecurity as if they needed people to believe in them because deep down, they didn't believe in themselves.

But you don't really get that from Desscaras.

It always felt like she couldn't care less what people think of her. She doesn't need me, you, or anyone to buy into her hype, because she already buys it, and that's all she needs.

The reason her smugness isn't annoying is because you get the sense she's doing it not because she has something to prove but because that's just how she sees herself.

She's likable because you can feel how much she loves herself and who she is...

And in a modern world where everyone is constantly trying to compare themselves to someone else in order to measure how happy or how successful they are, seeing someone who's just already happy with who she is is a very refreshing experience.

I saw some people often comparing her to Gojo, and I can totally see why.

They both are super strong characters who are so comfortably happy with who they are that they allow themselves to act a bit immature and goofy every now and then because they have enough trust in their own character and in their own strength to back it up.

Some sort of... "I'm strong and wise enough to allow myself to be silly" kind of thing if you will.

And that's the key word, "comfortable."

We have several examples of characters who are confident in their own strength, but who you can still feel a sense of pressure from.

Like, they're so strong so they need to set an example, they need to be a role model, they need to make people feel safe, they need to live up to the image that's expected from them.

But Desscaras doesn't care about any of that. She doesn't try to be a role model or anything, she's just living her life the way she's most comfortable with.

The fact that she's one of the strongest doesn't get in the way of how she presents herself to others, her personality does.

The best way I can describe Desscaras is an ideal combination of power + confidence + and comfortableness.

She kinda feels like the perfect embodiment of strength. Characters in stories who are often labeled as "the strongest" or "the most powerful" are often depicted like people who let the power get to their heads and thus end up becoming huge jerks because of it, or they are so confident in their strength that they start to treat things with indifference because they know they can survive anything, or they feel so responsible for the power they carry that they became overly cold and serious about it.

There are several depictions of strength but we don't often get one that manages to balance it out this level of confidence, maturity, and comfort with one self.

You usually tend to feel like one element or two is missing to create something really unique, and Desscaras feels like that something unique where every element is just at the right place.

She feels like a very refreshing take on "The strongest" trope, a comfortable depiction of strength, and I'm excited to see where we go with her. 😊

[esamastation]

Gamer girl gets transmigrated into a farm boy Chapter 5 [<<Prologue | <Chapter 4 || Chapter 6>>] Ao3 link

-

The rest of the day goes by much the same way it did in the game. They make their way back to the farm, where Van helps Mr. Gylcross unload his purchases and carry some of them to the barn and the rest into the house. Janelle welcomes them with a warm meal and freshly made batch of apple juice, made from, "Apples I picked myself just this afternoon!" as she says. It's delicious.

"What did you buy in town?" Josel asks as they eat.

"Nothing much," Van answers, and ain't that the truth. "Mostly I just looked around, took in the sights."

Josel hums. "Yeah, you haven't been to the town a lot, have you?"

"I guess not," Van agrees, thinking back to the player character's messy background as a hand on the Gylcross farm, and how it might be revealed here - if it even was.

"How did you like it? Did you see anything interesting in town?" Janelle asks curiously.

"It was fine. It was all pretty interesting," Van admits and takes a bite of bread, wondering if she made it herself.

The System journal had updated while he'd been in town, and going by its writing, it was the most amazing thing ever to happen to Katie. Most of the journal entry was her detailing every event that happened, but there were some interesting titbits in between, which Van had noticed but not really thought about at the time.

… Oh my god, the town looks exactly like it did in the game! Only now I'm seeing it all in first person! It's so wild. There's so much more people here than there were in the game, too - probably since the limits of rendering capacity have been thrown out of the window. Real world isn't held back by RAM. Hah.

Also? Kids. There are children here - and not just one-age-fits-all like in some games, no, there's older teenagers and younger teenagers, and I also saw a toddler in the marketplace - and I think one woman had a baby in a sling? A baby! Definitely didn't have any of those in the base game - not a single kid to be had in all of Age of Tales, except in pre-rendered cutscenes. I wonder if it's just for humans, or will we get to see dwarf or elf babies - I've never seen a dwarf baby, ever, in anything I've ever seen or played. Probably not elf either, unless it was like a half-human-half-elf situation brought forth by an illicit cross-species love story.

I wonder if Van can have babies - like, conceive them? I mean, there's romance in Age of Tales, such as it is. There's sex scenes and stuff. Can those now have, like, consequences? Does this world have contraceptives? Is that something that I have to now think about?

Van with a baby would be pretty cute, though. I wonder if I can somehow get him to hold a baby…

And that's where Van had to stop reading in order to preserve the delicate equilibrium of his mental stability.

"There were a lot of people in town," he concludes with a cough to clear his throat, and takes another sip of the apple juice.

Janelle gives him a sympathetic look. "Yeah, it's a bit different from how it's around here, huh?" she says and pats him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you had fun."

"Yeah," Van agrees.

By now he's kind of starting to feel the limits of Katie's social meter, though. She'd never been a particularly extroverted person, and while it's different inside a videogame… this isn't a game, not really. It's been a whole day of interacting with people and trying to figure things out, and Van is feeling mentally kind of worn down.

Plus, he's got an existential crisis scheduled up, and it's starting to feel kind of urgent.

"You mind if I turn in for the day, sir?" Van asks once he's done eating, turning to Mr. Gylcross. "I'm kind of tired."

"Of course, my boy. Just get Bell settled in for the night and get the cart in the barn," Mr. Gylcross says.

Thankfully, Josel has apparently done all other farm-related duties off screen. All Van has left to do is get the cart inside and Bell brushed up, fed, and settled in a stall, all of which happens by automation. Josel, who's got a more permanent berth in a little hutch next to the farmhouse, bids Van good night, and with some relief Van heads up to the hayloft.

There he lays down in the hay, mentally preparing to Think About Things and Handle Them… only to find his mind full of static. He needs to deal with the Realisation and he needs to come up with a plan for tomorrow, because there's a lot coming his way tomorrow.

And yet, even though he lies there for a while, staring at the ceiling, not a single coherent plan comes to mind.

Finally, Van gets up again and goes back down to get a bucket of water. It's not quite as good as a real mirror, but in a pinch…

His reflection is very faint on the water's surface, but he can just about see himself and make out his features. The caramel ice-cream hair is really not looking its best. It's curly in the game, kind of fabulous in a way that doesn't fit Van's body type at all - here it sticks every which way, unkempt and not exactly flattering.

No permanent magical hairstyling in real life, huh.

Combing his fingers through his hair to push it away from his face, Van turns his head this way and that, taking in his features again. The jaw, the cheekbones, the forehead - he really looks like he was drawn by a comic book artist. Except made real. 

He's really - Katie is really in Van's body. This is Van, made flesh and blood. Well, he doesn't actually know if the body can bleed, but it probably does. It gets hungry and thirsty. And, judging by the feel of things right now, it also needs to relieve itself. Which is… another thing he hadn't been thinking about.

Sitting on his knees for a moment, Van weighs the oncoming mental health crisis against probably mortifying body function weirdness and chooses the latter, standing up. Time for a true fantasy adventure - figuring out how men piss.

Delightful.

Though as a man he should be able to go wherever - so long as he wasn't flashing someone, anyway - seeing as this is the first time and Katie only sort of knows what she's doing… yeah, some privacy is called for. There's a wooden outhouse behind the farmhouse, which Van slinks his way to like he's doing something wrong and illicit. The outhouse is pretty small and forces him to bend over, and it's overall very awkward. It stinks. The seat is tiny and looks kind of uncomfortable to actually sit on.

Katie has a feeling she's going to miss Earth's modern day plumbing before long.

Right now she has other concerns, though.

Van takes a deep breath - and then regrets it, because of the outhouse smell - before looking down. The trousers are easy enough to figure out, they're basically normal trousers except fastened with a string instead of zipper. The underwear, not so much. While Katie has seen it before and actually spent quite a bit of time trying to figure it out, seeing it on Van now…

It's a kind of cloth wrap thing, like the whole thing is one long stretch of fabric wrapped around the waist and down. The final effect is not unlike briefs, and it's actually kind of comfortable and it definitely keeps everything contained… but if Van takes it off, he will definitely not be able to put it back on again.

Hm, maybe he can, sort of… move it aside…?

Touching it is a bit weird. Katie does a little gibbering flailing thing in the back of his mind while Van tugs at the fabric, feeling all the stuff beneath shift - feeling all the stuff feel the movement. It's weird - having sensations in bits Katie never had before. 

Kind of cool though, too. In a sort of unreal way.

Van gets his fingers beneath to pull his penis out and then… there it is, sticking out past the cloth, with its two buddies still nestled in the wrapping.

It would probably be inappropriate to call it a tool. It kind of fits, though. It's very… proportional. 

And Katie is suddenly very aware of her long stint as a single woman, because damn. Like, she's never been that into the look or size of a guy's dick - a penis is a penis, they're all kind of the same in the end - but damn. Van has one hell of a dick. Like, Katie probably wouldn't want to have sex with Van, because ouch… but damn.

"Okay, don't play with it, just do your business," Van mutters, thinking back to Katie's stint in the kindergarten and wincing at the memory of potty training. As extremely unsexy thought as there ever was, he thinks with a grimace and then attempts to… manoeuvre himself into position. "Just point and aim."

It's weird, and very… fleshy. But at least the rest of the operation is roughly the same for a man as it is for a woman - bladder is a bladder, apparently. It's still weird - as is not needing to wipe afterwards. It doesn't feel like it's enough, to just shake it. Not that there's anything to wipe with in the outhouse.

"Weird, weird, this is so weird," Van mutters, shaking himself and then quickly tucking the weapon away.

There's nowhere to wash his hands afterwards.

"Great," he mutters and then slinks back to the barn where he sleeps at night. His mirror water turns into hand washing water, and he still feels a bit dirty afterwards. He's hyperaware of what's going down below the belt, all of a sudden. Also, maybe getting a bit hard? Is it really that damn easy to get riled up as a man? Van's not even thinking of anything sexy, and apparently it's going up on its own. What the hell?

Climbing up to the hayloft, Van lies down and tries to not think about his dick. He's got an existential crisis on his hands. Woman stuck in a man's body here. This is no time for any kind of self-inflicted fun times. He needs to experience the horrors of being not in a body of his own. Her own. Whatever. Body dysmorphia, here we go!

Yeah, no, apparently not. His mind keeps slipping downwards along with the blood pooling there, as though the damn thing has a gravity of its own. He can feel his penis straining his underwear - taking it out, putting his hand around it, it would feel… probably pretty good right now. And it's not like Katie doesn't want to - like she hasn't been curious what it was like, how it would work. Porn and smut painted a pretty vivid image, of course, but nothing beats hands on experience.

Mmm, hands on…

Van stares at the ceiling for a long moment, biting his lip. There's no one in this end of the barn but him. The Gylcrosses are in their house, Josel is off in his little hutch… there's no one here. No one but him.

… Right, okay. Fine.

With a grunt Van gets up to find a rag or something.

It would clear his head too, probably, if all the post nut clarity memes are to be believed. He would have his existential crisis with a clear mind afterwards.

-

Katie wakes up the next morning to the cock crowing somewhere outside and has a moment of flailing confusion at the feel of all the hay around her and sight of the wooden ceiling and beams above her head… before everything comes back.

Right. She's still here. She's transmigrated into Van and to the very start of Age of Tales. And it's now day two.

"Shit," Van murmurs, running a hand down his face. His chin feels bristly - apparently that's a yes on the needing to shave going forward, if he wants to keep Van's chiselled chin in view. Which is probably not all that important, considering that, well…

Tonight, the plot would finally kick off in earnest.

Breathing in and out for a moment, Van lets his arm drop to his side. He hadn't even thought of what he would do, beyond the usual. Even with all the dramatic consequences, the Rift opening was still part of the tutorial, and so all the enemies were pretty low level. The character was meant to run, of course - at this point there was not much they were supposed to be able to do against them.

Emphasis on the supposed. This is, however, Age of Tales.

The whole tutorial section is a bit… Well, overall, Katie gets it - the whole point of the tutorial section is to paint the illusion of peaceful normalcy and introduce the player to the base mechanics and the NPC shops before the plot can kick off and burn the whole idyllic place to the ground for shock value. The first time Katie went through it, it was pretty epic, overall.

But giving the players the chance to shop before the fight was kind of dumb.

Because, while the game didn't get that popular, it had some players, and just about everyone who did play it went about the tutorial the same way. They gambled for cash and kitted themselves out as best they could as soon as they could… and in so doing, turned the whole Rift thing into a bit of a joke by actually standing up against the invasion, something they plot-wise weren't supposed to be able to do. And most of them didn't even realise it, breaking the game completely by accident.

And when you went about it perfectly intentionally, well… the Rift stopped being a threat at all and became the perfect spawn kill camp.

That was what Van had been planning to do - until reality nerfed Katie's money-making tricks.

"System, open inventory," Van calls.

[Inventory] [Simple Knife, lvl. 1] [Shepherd's Slingshot, lvl. 1] [14 x Basic Stone Ammunition ] [3 x Spearhead] [1 x Apple] [Empty Jug] [Dirty Rag]

Yeah, not exactly winning starter gear, especially considering that he still doesn't have a single shred of proper armour. He hasn't been this poorly prepared for the Rift since the very first playthrough - and even then he at least had some armour and a sword! Reality is really kicking his ass this time.

He can't figure out if it's frustrating or exciting. Probably the first one.

"Guess I'm making some spears," Van muses and then sits up with a grunt. Finger-combing the hay out of his hair, Van eyes the dirty rag and then winces. He would need to get rid of it, and maybe he could wash up somewhere before getting started. Unfortunately, he doesn't think there's a washroom or anything around here…

[Farm Chores, Lvl. 1.] [It's a new day on Gylcross farm, and it's time to get to work!]

[Farm Chores 1, Lvl. 1.] [Let the chickens out.] [Let the goats out.] [Let the cows out.] [Let Bell out.] [Quest reward:  10 exp, 3 Apples.] [Farm Chores 2, Lvl. 1.] [Muck the pens and stalls.] [Quest reward:  10 exp, 5 Fresh Eggs.] [Farm Chores 3, Lvl. 1.] [Take a look at the garden and weed Ms. Janelle's vegetable beds.] [Quest reward:  10 exp, 4 x Mixed Herbs] [Farm Chores 4, Lvl. 1.] [Milk the goats and the cows.] [Quest reward:  2 exp, 1 Bottle of Milk.] [Accept?] [Yes.] [No.]

Van winces a little at the sudden bombardment of pop-ups. Looks like he has some work to do. How much it all will matter when this time tomorrow the farm will be in ruins aside… exp is exp. And if he could squeeze in another level up before the Rift, it definitely wouldn't hurt.

Standing up - and bending over to duck below the ceiling beams - Van shuffles to the ladder to start the day with a quick rinse in a bucket of cold water.

By the time he heads out of the barn, Janelle has breakfast ready and set in front of the farmhouse. "Good morning, Van!" she calls, waving. "Come have some eggs and pancakes!"

Josel is already there and already stuffing his face with eggs. "Good morning," Van greets them both and then asks, interestedly, "Pancakes?"

"Yeah - Daddy bought flour and sugar yesterday!" Janelle says excitedly. "We've got some honey too - come here and try it."

Van does, sitting down beside Josel, accepting his share with a, "Thank you, miss." It looks great, and it smells even better.

"It's Janelle," the farmer's daughter says firmly and sits down across from him.

The breakfast is great, as are the pancakes. Mr. Gylcross doesn't make an appearance, but no one comments on it, and so Van doesn't either - maybe the man sleeps in when it's not a market day, or something. After they're done eating, Josel helps Janelle clear out the table, while Van considers his quests.

"Are you going to let the animals out?" Janelle asks, wiping her hands in her apron. "I'll come with you - I'll collect the eggs while I'm at it."

"Sure," Van agrees and offers Josel an apologetic nod before following Janelle towards the chicken coops.

It's a perfectly pleasant day, with only a few fluffy clouds in the sky and just the barest hint of a breeze in the air. The sort of day when nothing bad is supposed to happen, of course. Perfectly normal day.

"Daddy says you visited the tailor yesterday," Janelle comments. "That you ordered some kind of armour."

Van blinks and looks at her. "Uh, I didn't realise he knew about that," he says. The man hadn't mentioned it. How did he find out, anyway? "I did, yeah."

"Why?"

Well, there's going to be a battle in Westbrook the day after tomorrow, and then the place is going to be set on fire, and Valthor's most annoying minion is going to make a grand appearance. Van is really hoping to curbstomp that guy's smug little face to the ground, and armour would make that much, much easier. "Well," he says, because clearly he can't say any of that. "I don't know. Just felt like it, I guess?"

Janelle looks at him carefully, and asks, "Have you… remembered something?" she asks. "About your past?"

Van hesitates, because in the game the player character never remembers time before the farm - but he does learn about it from others. "No, not really," he says finally. "I just… have a feeling I'm going to need something. Actually," he adds and takes a spearhead out of the satchel. "I also got a few of these."

Janelle accepts the dull spearhead, tilting her head with confusion. "Is that a weapon?"

"Head of a spear - I'm going to find some pole to stick it on," Van says and shrugs. "And then I'll have a spear."

Janelle shakes her head, looking a little upset. "But what do you need a spear for?" she asks.

Van shrugs again. "I don't know. It just feels like something I should have."

Janelle hums unhappily, turning the spearhead in her hand. "So, I was right," she murmurs and looks at him sadly. "You are a soldier."

In the game you learn the main character's background in flashbacks and  hints from the designated Mentor character at Ulgor's Camp, but it's a pretty cliché dealio overall. The player character has amnesia - of course - and was left at the Gylcross farm by a Mysterious Hooded Person - of course - while the Mysterious Hooded Person ran away all suspicious-like. Janelle Gylcross eventually found the player character hiding in the barn hayloft, all confused and out of it and bleeding from the head. Through some interrogation and arguing with her father, Janelle got him settled in as a new farm hand.

It's all shown to the player in this grainy sepia cut scene, a collage of moments as the player character learns how to swing a hoe and milk the cows and stuff. It's pretty wholesome. And the fact that it's shown to you only after the farm has been burned down and everyone there was killed, well… Katie has some issues with the arrangement of narrative there, but it was kind of a punch to the gut, the first time she played the game.

Also absolutely hilarious, watching this brick shithouse of a man do these cute farm chores, like carrying baby lambs around, delicately harvesting berries from the bushes and weeding garden beds.

"I'm not a soldier," Van says and accepts the spearhead back. "I just feel like it'll be better to be prepared than not."

"Right," Janelle says and hugs herself, looking uncomfortable. "Are you going to leave the farm? I know Daddy only contracted you until the harvest, but… I thought you liked it here."

"Well… it is nice," Van says. And it really is. He looks at the farmstead around them and hums thoughtfully. It's very peaceful and idyllic and wholesome. In the game it's often implied how much the player character wishes he could've stayed there, wishes none of the terrible things that followed wouldn't have happened, and the world could've stayed as it was.

More than another day of it and Katie would be climbing the walls, bored out of his mind.

"I guess we'll see," Van says and smiles at Janelle. "You never know what will happen."

-

[<<Prologue | <Chapter 4 || Chapter 6>>] Proofread by @nimadge, many thanks

-

I call this the Tool Inspection Chapter. And I hope it made at least one person laugh as much as it made me to write it.

[stringofswineteeth]

I wasn't going to respond because I wasn't confident in my previous response so didn't that adding on to whatever response anyone had was going to be helpful, wasn't much to add that would be worth disagreeing with whoever responds, they'd have it handled.

I'm responding because I don't think your addition is worth disagreeing with. But, you said you can't wrap your head around it, so I am going to explain my concerns because I think they're important to understand.

There ARE people impersonating legitimate researchers right now for nefarious purposes. And it's not about it not being the "perfect time" it is about it being outright terrifying time, where I'm not even convinced getting gender related healthcare from verifiable organizations is safe. This isn't something I'd advocate against doing because there's a lot of complexities to personal situations and everyone must take calculated risks.

There's plenty of links I wouldn't trust and risks I wouldn't take that I wouldn't get in the way of others' decisions surrounding, at least without verifying that it is ONLY dangerous.

Basically, I don't think my response should've been what it was, but I also think it is worth considering why I would respond that way. The level of danger related to all things being openly queer, especially getting entered into a database as such, is unprecedented in my lifetime, not just imperfect. On top of that, the people involved are very young, and the economic situation might encourage making rash decisions when money is involved. Also ig worth noting that the dangers of unknown links have only grown.

Again, I think I probably should've minded my own business, or spoken in less definite terms, especially if I'm not willing to do research into the organization I am concerned about or click links provided. I also think what I was advocating for, hiding, can be damaging because part of the goal is not just to kill us, but also to make those of us who remain invisible, and I hadn't thought through the implications of that.

I'm editing in an addition because I'd rather be done with this, but I am still thinking about it. All the above that I said holds true, but I don't feel right about leaving it there. Yes, we need to be loud and make sure our voices and history is not erased. At the same time, it is extremely important to be aware of the risks you are taking and make your choices very intentionally. If you have investigated this source and have decided they are trustworthy and contributing to their study is important enough that it is worth the risk, absolutely be brave and go forward with that. I don't want your voice erased, I just don't want you to put yourself in danger that isn't balanced out by the good it does. please be extremely careful. I wouldn't feel okay about leaving this up without really making that point clear. Especially under unverified links to the same type of content we KNOW is being imitated by people who wish us harm.

I am not encouraging you to roll over, I am encouraging you to tread extremely carefully while acknowledging that there are some risks worth taking. It is up to you to decide what those are.

Researchers at the Lyda Hill Institute for Human Resilience with the University of Colorado Colorado Springs are recruiting LGBTQ+ teens (ages 15-18) and their caregivers for a study of an online group program.

Parents and teens can EACH earn up to $160 for their participation.

Click the link below to learn more!

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Reaction fic idea!

Team 1 and Kim Rok Soo are placed in a theater, set up in the audience's seats. The chairs are modern, covered in soft, plush cushions. The edges of the arm rests glow an eery dark red, and seem to pulse at the regular rhythm of a human heart.

Kim Rok Soo wakes up. The air in his lungs is cold and his surroundings are foreign.

He recalls the night before, drinking with the company after they received some aged wine for another job well done- requested by yours truly. Despite drinking, he has no traces of a hangover. His clothes are the same as last night, but his new white button up is missing the dark purple stain that a drunk, deeply apologetic Jang Sejong was responsible for.

He rubs the back of his neck, frowning. He doesn't know what's happening, but it smells of a God. Something that shouldn't be messing around in their world like this.

Across the seats is a stage, covered by thick and heavy red curtains, except for a small opening in the middle. Behind the curtain, from what he can see, is an impenetrable darkness. It isn't moving but it strangely feels as if that the darkness is breathing. Looking around, Kim Rok Soo realizes that the black walls of the theater give a similar impression.

Standing from his seat, he finds that there aren't any physical restrictions, tangible or otherwise, besides a strange weakness in his muscles. It makes him want to sit back down. His team is scattered in the audience, some farther behind and some closer to the front. Out of all of them, Kim Rok Soo is situated on the chair closest to the front, right in the center. It feels purposeful.

There's many reasons for why he may be positioned in the front, but he has a feeling that it has to do with the previous owner of this body, the man now named Cale Henituse. The issue is that he doesn't know what that means for him, who is now inextricably linked to this situation.

As his team behind him begin to show signs of waking up, he smiles, eyes cold yet elegant. Time to do the thing he's best at:

Feign ignorance.

There is really nothing to gain here by revealing his secrets, his identity, or the potential cause behind their being here. It would cause confusion, twist minds, and sew distrust. He doesn't mind if his team finds out that he isn't their original leader- he can manage that just fine. It's just that...

It's too much work. Why would he do something so complicated right now?

The team member closest to him, Kim Min Ah, opens her eyes and he greets her with a casual wave.

"Good morning, did you sleep well?"

[tribow]

So I watched Natsume Yuujinchou

or "Natsume's Book of Friends" for the English title.

I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It's a real nice slice of life anime. I'm writing this as of watching season 1 and I'm absolutely going to continue watching this one.

Anyway what's it about? Youkai! Easy way to hook me in immediately. If you involve youkai (or similar folklore creatures) in a story I'm immediately interested. Even so, despite my strong bias on the subject matter, I promise it's done very well.

The titular character, Natsume, is a highschooler born with the ability to see and interact with youkai. Growing up while being able to see supernatural phenomena while everyone else can't was rough for him. (If you don't know what youkai are, think of Natsume's situation like being able to see ghosts.) His parent's weren't even sure how to deal with him and sent him off to their relatives instead of raising the child themselves.

Natsume's character is defined by his isolation, but also by the few people he has met that has shown him real kindness. His current family earnestly cares about him, but he hides the fact that he can see youkai from them, as he does with everyone. He has learned that doing so will lead to isolation, but ironically hiding what he can see isolates him from other people as well.

However, Natsume's ability isn't unique to himself. His grandmother could also see youkai, and she's infamous for creating the "Book of Friends." This book contains the names of tons of youkai, and with that book, you can essentially control any youkai whose name is written in it. For a long time Natsume would have to deal with some youkai targeting him, and this was why. Having now learned that he has his grandmother's book, Natsume resolves to return the names of youkai.

Why?

Well watch the show. I could sit here and summarize it, but that doesn't make for a good review. The story....or at least season one of the story....focuses on that theme: isolation. It's not just Natsume, but many of the youkai he encounters that deal with it in their own ways. As a result, each episode ends on a pretty bittersweet note.

Isolation comes in many forms; loss, rejection, protection, selfishness, resentment, and much more. People, and in this case, youkai experience it in many ways, but instead of wallowing in its own despair, this anime focuses heavily dealing with it positively.

I appreciate this anime's willingness to show very sad situations and the characters involved are pretty mature about it. I can imagine this anime helping actual people deal with their own struggles with isolation.

Now, that's not this anime's only theme. It would be fairly shallow if that's all it had to say. You got some action, comedy, and drama here or there. There's some nice character development going on as well. I really like how the show is written overall.

I wouldn't say its at a "masterpiece" quality since there are definitely some jumps in logic that happens sometimes. It definitely makes some poor excuses to set up certain scenes, but I can't complain too much. These issues only show up for a few episodes.

Speaking of the episodes, they're all self-contained. There's a linear narrative of course, but every episodes concludes itself and does not inform what happens in the next episode. This made it strangely hard to binge for me since there isn't a hook to keep you watching. I loved the show, but each episodes ends on such a satisfying note I want to do something else and come back to it later. Weird.

Anyway, Brain's Base was animating this one! Y'know these guys really take on a wide variety of stuff huh? Natsume is an interesting one since it's both very laid back and has some action. I wouldn't say Brain's Base went particularly crazy here, but you can see the effort put into a lot of shots. The animation looks good, but it's humble. Nothin real fancy going on, but the visual direction does a great job at conveying this story.

I have a feeling this is one of the shows Brain's Base is proud of, and it's successful too! This anime goes on for several more seasons and I'm pretty excited to keep going with it.

What's real crazy is that I've never heard anyone talk about this anime before. This is good! Real good! I highly recommend this to anybody, even if you have never seen anime before. It's rare that I get to say that because there's usually some caveat to an anime that makes it hard to recommend to anybody, but there's nothing to worry about here! It's good, great even.

Maybe it just couldn't reach a large western audience. It is dealing with youkai after all. That's a shame, but hey, it doesn't mean you can't watch it now! Give it a try!

[shawsimmer]

hi! do you have any tips on how to make teenagers look like actual teenagers? venus looks so good!

hi!! so i don't use the preteen mod, but i do use the shortest height preset from this set by luumiasims. so far there really isn't a huge animation issue because her friends are using the same preset and other animations with adults/kids (like hugging) don't look that bad. however, i'm noticing that there are some clipping issues when trying to pose her, though. i hate how teens are the same height as adults and i really wanted to play out the preteen/early teen life stage with the girls. other than the height preset, i think i just made her eyes bigger and cheeks fuller. i think adding blush and braces also make her look younger. i try to use hairstyles and accessories that look "younger", but tbh i'm having a hard time finding clothes for her atm. here's a photo to show what the shortest height preset looks like standing next to an adult and a child. i hope this was helpful!

more asks under the cut!!

byeee this is so funny. i forget i never really posted the beginning parts of this save so not many know the lore of these three. oh god, i'm gonna yap for a bit. short story of their relationship is eva & kato got together in their early 20s and were going to have a son named saturn, but sadly eva had pregnancy complications and they lost the baby. unfortunately, it made things really difficult in their relationship and they decided to break up. during their time apart, eva meets judah and falls in love, but she ends up cheating on him multiple times with kato (even the night before she got married to judah ) and they literally wouldn't stay away from each other. years later after both girls were born, she confesses to judah and they take time apart. i know what you are probably thinking, how tf does this end in the big happy family we have now? eva basically made it known that kato is her soulmate and she could never really be done with him. they would have never broken up if not for the loss of their son, but she was also so in love with judah and the family they had created together. she proposed the throuple idea (lmao the audacity) and both kato and judah were veryyyy hesitant, but ultimately, they both loved her so much that they decided being with her was worth it. at first, they decided to just move in together and kept their relationships with eva separate. ngl it was such a weird and tense time in my game and they would constantly get jealous/upset with each other. i ended up using a mod allowing more than one partner and things settled down. after some time living together the guys realized they actually fw each other and they were lowkey bestiess. they have been together #challengers style a few times, but they usually tend to be romantic with eva separately. i know it's a weird situation, but now i'm happy with how things turned out. no one holds any ill feelings towards each other and all three of them just really enjoy doing life together and parenting the girls the best they can. there's soo much more to it, but i tried to keep it as short as i could lol.

totally!! you don't have to credit me, but i would like to seee

hmm i'm not really sure. i normally label my sims as maxis-mix. maybe more alpha? i think i prefer alpha skin details and clothes over mm. my build/buy cc is a good mix. it's nice not having to force myself into one style

ty :)) i don't really play legacy challenges. having rules sometimes ruins the gameplay for me, though i do think they are super useful when it comes to using/playing with certain features of packs that i wouldn't mess with otherwise. i tried nsb 2.0, but i'm still on gen one lmao. sorry i don't really have any to recommend.

hi!! it's actually really easy if you have sims4studio and a photo editing software. i use photoshop. first i find either a painting or photo frame that i like, then i export the diffuse map in s4s. i take the png file and basically paste my photos on top of whatever was in the frame (in photoshop) and then i import it back into s4s & save. if you want an in-depth tutorial i could definitely make one, but there are also a lot of great ones here on tumblr and youtube.

had to ask my bf about this lol. i have 0 idea what any of this means:

cpu: amd ryzen 5 3600, ram: 16gb ddr4, gpu: rtx 3060, 1tb m.2 nvme ssd (x2), motherboard: asus prime b550-plus, 650w power supply

i think i've had this account since 2018, but i didn't start to really use it until around 2022. i was suuuuper involved in the simsta community at the time. i was always kind of intimidated by tumblr (and the people here) and didn't really know how to use it. now that just seems funny.

well, first i think i should mention that i absolutely do get bored and experience burn out. sometimes i don't touch the game for months. i feel like this is common and i know a lot of my friends experience it too, so don't feel bad about it.

not sure how great my cas advice is considering i feel like i make the same sim over and over, but one thing that helps me keep things fresh is using cc, presets, and aesthetics that i don't normally use. i find myself using the same skin details a lot and things can get boring. use that hair that you never touch, try out different aesthetics, mix and match different skin details together, utilize different sliders, pick a fun hair color, try different makeup styles!

when it comes to keeping gameplay interesting, my advice is to try not to micromanage everything. i knowww it can be difficult, especially if you have a certain storyline in your head, but i feel like if you control every little thing, it's easy to lose steam and things can get boring or unenjoyable fast. it's really fun to let your sims tell their own story and it keeps you guessing what will happen next, especially when they decide to do things you wouldn't normally choose for them. for example, when eva had her pregnancy complications it took everything in me not to cheat it away, but some of my sims wouldn't even have been born had i not let things play out. another example is when she decided to be unfaithful. it's not something i'd normally want my sims to do, but it created a whole different story that has been so interesting to play. also let your sims have flaws! not everyone is a saint. let them be mean, let them fail, and let them develop their own personalities as you play. i pay attention to their whims and choose to do the things they want. when my sims age up, i like to use the randomizer on their traits and pretend it's fate. now this isn't to say i don't have some storylines or things that i'd like them to do planned out, i just wouldn't recommend planning their entire life out all at once, you know? but this is what keeps things interesting for me, it may not be for everyone :)

as for the right time to take screenshots, it depends on your personal preference and what you want photographed. i personally take screenshots of my sims doing everything so much that i feel like a proud parent. every once in a while, i go through my screenshot folder from the beginning of my save and watch everything back like a movie :'). when it comes to actually posing my sims for a screenshot, i like to keep it to a minimum because setting everything up can sometimes take me out of gameplay mode lol. i really only pose them when i want to take photos to decorate their home or if there's a pose i really want to use to tell a story.

hi!! this is so nice :')) thank you!

i don't really have anything specific when it comes to posting on tumblr, other than using hashtags that help others see your posts. i don't care about numbers or anything like that. i post whenever i want, sometimes multiple times a day and sometimes once a month. i feel like as long as you are posting what you love, the right audience/community will find you. definitely interact with people in the community! there's so many creative people here that inspire me all the time. if you have specific questions about how to put sims up for download (like exporting their files) or anything like that, feel free to dm me! i'm happy to help. :)

ooo okay, so presets help a ton. northernsiberiawinds has some head presets and i use #8 all the time and it gives the head a narrower shape. here is a gif showing how i use sliders to pull the face down because i honestly don't know how to explain it in words and figured a visual would be of more help anyway. hope this helps! <3

[struggling-jpg]

Dan Heng Appreciation (3.0 Edition)

Resident Dan Heng Enjoyer here, late because it really took that long to let everything in the story settle in + it's been enough time for a lot of players to get through the quest

I must continue my quest in appreciating Dan Heng

Of course, 3.0 quest spoilers below~

The naming the next reincarnation option is FOUL LOL

I love how logical he chooses to approach things! It's also kind of amusing that we can be more upset about Cloud-Piercer breaking than he is.

Once again, true but FOUL looool

He's adorable, I love him!! And I adore how the pair make sure to get those pictures for March. I love this trio TvT (and it hits so much harder considering the current situation for March)

Real lol

This part!!! Protective Dan Heng has my heart TvT He was so on point for talking about how they weren't obligated to help after all that and how they could just leave while they were still on good enough terms. But him still going with whatever the Trailblazer decides is so ride-or-die of him, he's Astral Express first and foremost!

"Our resident yapper isn't here, so one of us has to do the yapping, and it clearly isn't going to be you."

That's a whole mood.

Bro doesn't even say a word ToT you would NOT catch him doing physical contact when asked directly like that LOOOOL

CONCERNED DAN HENG MY LOOOOOOOOVE

"My friends are my power" coming from Dan Heng is so funny ToT My KH-loving self is clapping and pumping my fist in the air. (Can't believe I can't escape KH on my side blog either ToT)

It's funny 'cause I legit said out loud, "What? I am interested though!" Let me game, Dan Heng!!!

I actually have more screenshots but I thought these would be good enough for this post. I love that he's here with us and we get to venture with him!!! I love seeing more of his character shine through and we get to see how much he loves the Express. I'm gonna cry!!!

I know I've made posts about whole quests for updates since 2.4 but I'm not sure if I want to for 3.0? Mostly because it's very loaded, though I do have a lot of thoughts.

(Everything in tandem to March and the Paths that surround Amphoreus has me screaming)

[bananaactivity]

Davenport Family Headcanons and portraits for shits and giggles

There are 8 of these mother fuckers so buckle in. Some background info is in another post but ill probably add that part in as re-blog thing... anyways enjoy my yapping

Davenport Family

Donald Matthew Davenport ( 44 ) January 8, 1971

The Daven-family figurehead and oldest Davenport son. A genius who works well with tech related to transportation, communication, personal protection, training, security systems, and helpful but basic AI ( think eddy). His work was praised heavily within the market that Davenport Industries existed in. He noticed his brother getting in with some shady investors and tried to stop him leading to a huge argument and a few months of not being able to reach him he found out that Douglas had been horribly injured and killed. He took the time to gather his brother's possessions finding the bionic children and taking them in. He raised them keeping them sheltered so that the government would stop messing with them. Eventually, he married Tasha and had a stepson in Leo who convinced him that it was safe for the kids, and he's had a kinda stressful but great love-filled life since. Eventually, his brother returned and after being mad for a bit he soon got right back into the swing with his baby brother. He was so happy to have his brother back after eleven years. Still bullying him of course but it's all love. He is kind and smart and very nervous. He isn't stingy with his money either, he does a lot of charity events for struggling kids who wanna do S.T.E.M. He looks at some kids who remind him of his brother as being a bit strange. He doesn't discourage them but helps them move in ways that won't hurt them in the long run. You can be an alternative scientist without getting dropped in like his bro. Sadge :( Sometimes he crashes out but it's a nervous crash out. Sometimes the kids really mess up and you really gotta step back and be like… okay guys bsfr. His little brother was a mad scientist and a handful, he was stressed. And his “death” made him sad. Rose is also a stressor she thinks he's a wimp :(. He was a Hippie, a “playboy”, a big goofy nerd, he's gone through many phases. He loves all his children. I never minded them calling him Mr. Davenport. Though I will say mostly Chase does it in my AU. Not for trauma reasons he's just silly. They all call him Dad and Leo calls him Big D. Marcus and Dan call him Uncle D.( For a long time he would just talk to Eddy instead of people before he met Tasha. Eddy is just a helpful assistant with a personality he always made me mad as a kid. He can keep some personality but I don't like the Tasha disrespect keep it P with my queen. )

BI- curious for a while ( He had a fling with Peirce Harrington way back when they were in a fraternity together at some fancy Uni. You know Frat boys, I do. Freaks.)

Douglas Patrick Davenport ( 42)

April 6, 1974

The Daven-family emo child and youngest Davenport son. A genius who is a bit unethical and does crazy work related to human enhancement, cognitive modification, bioweapons, and biotechnology, really pushing human and technological capacities while blending them. His work was highly controversial of course, it was kind of taboo when talking with people interested in Davenport Industries. Though many “darker” people were interested in his work, Doug hadn't received much praise due to the macabre of his expertise. So he entertained these investors getting himself into a dicey situation, leading to a blowout with his brother in 2002. Doug's situation was a little dire so he faked his death having to leave behind ABC. He could only take the Androids. He stayed in his dark angry hole. Mad that his brother was still thriving while he kept up this new evil stuff. Hoping that the children he had to leave were okay. He got into it with some more dicey figures eventually meeting Krane who was interested after reading some of Dougs old Highschool blog posts about bionics. Doug had already lost a lot of money so he planned to get his kids back but ended up defecting back to his family… he loves them.

Douglas loves his kids. They don't call him Dad, he’s Douglas. Sometimes Uncle Dougy. Leo calls him Lil D. He told him to stop. He didn't. He understands he made choices and that resulted in them being left. He had only come back to exploit them for money… bros, not the dad. He is to his android boys and that's great. He loves um. He enjoys going to Dons charity events. Seeing kids like him with alt ideas. And he sees his brother helping and encouraging them. He'd take back some of his choices if he could but he's glad of the few positive impacts they had. He's still alt, maybe a freaky idea here a crazy thought experiment there. But he knows to reign it in now. He was getting a bit too crazy perhaps, may have broken many moral rules there but he loves his family. Perry thought he was a butch lesbian when they met but then they became friends and she was like ohhh. 

Bro doesn't care if he likes you he likes you, I think Perry is the same but she has some preferences. ( What if I shipped him with agent Graham what then? You can't stop me lol)

Tasha Francine Davenport ( 44)

April 6, 1974

A mother, a businesswoman, the baddie. She divorced Leos's dad and they don't talk about that bitch who cares. Her son is her baby she loves him. She loves Donald a lot too when they met he was pretending he was a Donald Davenport look-alike who worked at a coffee shop. He called himself Conrad Shadingfort. ( Bro is supposed to be a genius wtf)  they ended up hanging out. He bought the coffee shop she frequented just so he could continue working there to see her. She knew the whole time and thought he was just being silly,. He hung out with her for 2 years and got to meet Leo too. When he wanted to ask her out he told the truth and she was like: “Huh? You thought I believed you?? Well, you’re so cute and silly and I like you so I will go out with you!” He kept the coffee shop as a business also having made a bunch of cool gadgets to help the employees. It was a cool spot lol. And then they got married later yay! Now she loves all the Davenport children even the androids lol. She doesn't have the baby yet (I'm bad at drawing babees) She is sweet and caring and knows when to do things for her because it isn't selfish. 

Tasha is Demiromantic yayyyy

Adam Robert Davenport ( 19) July 7, 1996

Good ol’ Adam. My fav, my boy. He is so relatable, I relate heavily. I'm the older sibling I'm the silly sibling (I stand by Adam is just into absurdist humor with a heavy commitment to the bit, and isn't dumb. Bro says stupid shit on accident and on purpose and you'll never know ) When he Bree, and chase bully each other its normal sibling level. He never uses his super strength with his siblings; it is just his normal strength. Which is a lot mind you but it doesn't hurt it's just irritating. He's still a Taylor fan, but if this took place in 2024, he would add Chapplle Roan to his playlist quickly. I'm not a big Tay or Chapplle enjoyer, but I won't ever let that affect Adam’s truth. You know what he likes Billie and Sabrina too, Laufey, Solange, Nicki, Doechii, he loves women's music artists, all of them. They're all baddies who slay according to him, Even if they didn't make music in 2011-2016. He's super chill no stress on his bones unless someone touches his siblings. Yall should know how he gets when they're in danger. “ I can call my sibling a dusty bum bitch, but if you even look at them wrong I'm beating your ass.” Adam is a big animal lover he's been asking Donald to branch out with animal charity events and he's working on it yay ( Adam and Douglas began to bond over animals. Especially dogs)

He's isn't labeled like I said he's chill, I relate bro, love him. His preferences do align with aroace ( so relatable bruh) He's just silly yayyyy!

His abilities are under the L-P Chip: Lasers, strength, lung capacity, “big blue fart that blows shit up” as he calls it, and durability.

Bree Downy Davenport ( 18) November 22, 1997

Bree. another Baddie. Bad-bree. Sorry. She's silly, not a super slob like that one gross-ass episode but she's a bit of a fem-tomboy ig. Catching frogs and lizards carefully here, painting nails, and putting on baddie fits there. Finding interest in environmental issues a big fan of ethical tourism. She's been all across the earth. She's good at clocking her brother's tea ofc. She and Leo talk a lot, Leo has been in tons of AP classes and introduced her to AP Environmental Science she loved it and they joined the environment club together. She is obsessed with the island ecosystem as it is a man-made one. She's glad her brother Chase talked with Donald about making sure if he did this island thing that he made it as safe for the environment as possible and he did a good job. ( She and Douglas began to bond because while Douglas was “dead” he went to a lot of places, they talk about them and history all the time) She's not gonna get superpowers. Now that's something I'll get mad at, she has more bionic abilities they're just locked. If she was really feeling that useless (she's not) she could have asked Doug about unlocking another one.

She’s a bi queen. Also an elite-level fumbler. Not because she's a bad partner. Just so bad with expressing feelings so it never gets to that level.

Her abilities are under the S-S Chip: Super Speed, invisibility, wall stick, durability, and voice replication. She got rid of Spikerella she hated it.

( I don't like most of these portraits but this one just pisses me off like wtf happened to his face)

Chase Junior Davenport ( 18) August 5, 1997 Chase Chase Chase. He's on the case. He's very logical and often uses his computer brain for most tasks. It's like that one time they had a boys vs girls for no reason and he used his bionics immediately. He's always using his bionics just because of the computer brain. He's super lucky he can use two bionics at a time otherwise he'd be a dumbass while fighting. He also downloads apps to do most advanced tasks or hobbies, except guitar and martial arts which he learned on his own. ( He loves Radiohead, thats how he and Douglas began to bond heheh ) He pretends to hate Spike but also declines to get his app deleted. Spike always has his back even if he's a bit… dramatic and violent. This Chase is a bit more unsure and less cocky due to this Donald not being as cocky too. (That was def a learned behavior.) His identity took a while about to season three. When Leo first helped them assimilate into high school Chase thought he could download a bunch of teen movies to get ahead. Introducing him to a concept he literally never thought of. Having a partner. It always ended badly cause he just thought it was what he was supposed to do and he wasn't ever into it. This changes that one episode where Chase was tryna impress a girl and Adam was tryna stop him to Adam being like “ Bro you don't even like her stop before you hurt her fam..” Anyway, eventually he figured it out and told Adam who was like I coulda told you that fam..,

He's labeled Aroace and is very repulsed by everything. Leave his ass alone.

His abilities are under the I-S Chip: Computer brain that can do all computer stuff at elite computer speed, Laser Bo, Force field, telekinesis, Magnetism, durability, Spike, and enhanced senses

Leo Francis Dooley (17) May 7, 1998

I don't have many headcanons for Leo. He's perfect bro. Silly, perfect comedic timing, smart, and caring. He loves hanging out with Doug. He didn't need as much time to be bonded with him as ABC for obvious reasons. He and Marcus have beef most of the time though. That's how cousins be. He and Daniel are cool tho they love bullying Marcus together. He and Gordo though had a massive falling out ( Break up). Never again. He dated Jenelle, he had a tiny nemesis crush on Taylor. He’s single now.

He's a pan-king.

He doesn't have a chip but his abilities are plasma, energy-sucking or wtv, shields, and a strong leg,( his eyes are just aesthetic)

Marcus Julian Davenport ( 18) December 14, 1997

I don't have much to change about Marcus either. He's still a little freaky butthead. He loves his brother and he loves playing the guitar as well ( Radiohead enjoyer yayaya). He also does a bit of boxing, why not? His Archenemies are his Brother and Leo still, but in a goofy way not a murder way. He and Daniel were like the goofy duo tryna trick ABC and Leo. Marcus was intimidating while Dan was just being silly bonding with Leo. I just think it's funny if we just add Daniel to Marcus and Leo moments where Leo is clocking Marc's tea and Dan is just like “ Lol yeah Marcus is trash hehe”. He has a much better relationship with this Doug as Doug lets them be them and has never abandoned him. Doug was goin crazy when his sons got missing. He's so silly.

He's not super interested in relationships not in an aro way but just like not that interested. If he sees a bad bitch though who's to say lol

He has no chip; He has all Adam Bree and Chase's abilities both hidden and not.

Daniel Moore Davenport ( 13) March 21, 2002

When you look at the timeline you may see the name Danielle.( This is also a reference to Bree asking about why Doug never tried making another girl. He did here but Dan was like nah fam) Yah originally Doug was tryna do one female and male design. The female took a little longer which is why Dan is so much younger. After a few years tho Dan wasn't fucking with that. Doug was just like: Ya know what this is fine and a win. Bro is so sentient and observant he got body dysmorphia :(. He's just a silly boy now. He bullies his brother with Leo butttt... He has a lil crush on Spencer. (That's Spin's name that he uses with his non-friends but I think its funny to say) I think it'd be funny if Dan and Leo are bulling Marcus, but Spin comes in and bullies Leo causing Dan to turn around and swap sides. Then both Leo and Marcus side-eye him like: aw hell naw. I also think it's funny if they have that moment in the wimpy kid movies where Marcus is Rodrick looking at what Dan (Greg) is looking at ( it's Spencer ( Holly)) and he busts out laughing: “ BROOOO NO WAY WILL THAT EVER HAPPEN! AHAHAH” I gotta draw that lol. Unfortunately, if you've read that one fanfic of mine you know that Spin is the leader of a team comprised of Daniel and Bob. And you also know how I feel about writing inter-team relationships. It would piss me off if my teammates started being all goo goo-eyed while we're on a mission like stopppp. So Bob has to watch his oblivious bestie and a dumb-ass android get themselves into avoidable shit. Bob went on a sabbatical from having crushes and now he's a chill guy ( he learned from Adam that hot babes aren't everything and to take time for himself, bros 15 he's gotta chill) Anyways…

Dan does identify as trans and hes another guy whos chill unless he has a crush ( he thinks Spin is so cool bro awww he just wants to hold handsssss )

He has no chip and his ability is the replication of all tech not just bionic. Like if he touches a megaphone he can amplify his voice or record things and amplify them. can save up to two bionics in a folder to use without touching someone. If he wants to use a different two he has to clear his folder.

Back Ground Info for shits and giggles

How Bionics and Androids Work

There are three levels for Bionic Humans and five for Androids, here they are in order of Rank

Bionic Levels: Superior Bionics, Partial Bionics, Soldier Bionics

Andriod Levels: Superior Bionic Andriods, Superior Androids,  Androids, Basic Androids

There are only three Superior Bionics. Guess who? You never will… It's ABC, obviously. Subjects A, B, and C. They were the first to have chips, with so much care and passion put into them over the years Doug worked on their chips and embryos. They're irreproducable. Their bodies can handle the toll of bionics well, as they were grown and raised as embryos to do that. Yes, the chips can be fixed up if pieces are smashed but brand-new ones that have the same strength of capabilities can't be done. That's why they have the glowy-eye things in my art. Leos a special case shut it. The chips are called Lazer-Punchy, Intelligence-Smarty, and Speedy-Sneaky. L-P, I-S, and S-S, chips respectively. Doug is shit at naming things. This exclusivity was done so that the 3 are extra special I wanted as much separation from the super soldiers as possible. It was a little irritating back when that season aired to see how all these new bionic people made ABC less special but I didn't want to get rid of them. So now it's a spectrum. They can activate 2 bionics at a time more if they train super hard.

The Super Soldiers and Krane are Soldier Bionics. Significantly less strong and durable than the Superiors. They had bionics implemented later in life. (Super soldiers were orphans or homeless children taken by Krane with no family to return them to and also another reason) A lot of them in the case of Krane. Little did Krane know, but even if he wasn't defeated and destroyed or wtv, his excess of bionics would have killed him eventually. His body was deteriorating rapidly and he took a bunch of shit to cover up the pain like an idiot instead of realizing the actual issue. The amount of abilities he put in is what made him so strong and formidable but again his body would've completely collapsed eventually. That's actually what Geis was waiting on cause she wasn't as much of a dumbass. The island also provides a lot of health care to the super soldiers after saving them. That's also what got the government to back off again, How much care they needed and how “useless” they would be without this constant care and upkeep. Again they just are like an iPhone 8 to ABC's iPhone 11. if that means anything lol. They can only activate one bionic at a time.

Leo is the only Partial Bionic, again the tech was something Doug spent a while on. Bionics that can be used later in life without causing trauma to the receiver. He was preparing to sell it to Krane but he didn't which is why Krane did that worse thing. After Leos's severe almost fatal injury Doug had to try something. He used his plans on the injured areas (his legs, arms, and head) and this makes Leo Bioincs less strong than Superior Bionics but more stable than Soldier Bionics. Doug destroyed these original design books ( superior and partial) as he knew Krane would do anything to get his hands on something like that. Chase however has a file saved in his computer brain that can be accessed even if his bionics have been compromised. He can activate one bionic at a time, more if he trains.

There are only two Superior Bionic Andriods. Marcus and Daniel. M.A.R.C.U.S: Modular Android Reactive Construct Utilizing Sentience. D.A.N.I.E.L: Dynamic Android with Neural Intelligence and Emotional Logic . Again trash names dunno what Doug was doin. They have a level of sentience and intelligence that's pretty much like… Vision or Ultron ig. They have this humanity to them and I treat them as such thats why they're ‘bionic” androids. They are conscious completely, they have personalities completely. There are technically no limits to their use of bionic abilities as it relates to LR universe. Minus cooling systems and child locks ( on Daniel) that stop overheating. They can eat, drink, and sleep. They're anatomically accurate to humans as well. ( Not for freaky reasons ofc just Douglas trying to replicate human processes again this is what makes them bionic, they replicate humanity very well) Any fluids that a human can have are simulated by special liquids that need to be replaced once every 10 years. That being things like sweat, digestive fluids, tears, and blood. These are all simulations though, and if they aren't replaced it's no big deal just means they can't do any of that stuff like eat or sweat. It's all aesthetic that stuff, just Doug showing off. They also grow like a human again Doug being a show-off. Doug started them before ABC meaning technically Daniel is older than Adam lol, but he finished them at different times. Daniel wasn't conscious until 4 years after Marcus and 7 years after Adam. The reason is that it was much easier to leave Androids as a WIP than actively growing bionic children. (The androids start out toddler size cause it is easier to work with. just what I think seems reasonable not any science all of this is what I deem reasonably possible in a fake world, it's not even pseudoscience) They can use as many abilities as they want with consequences if they overdo it.

There is only one Superior Android, Troy. T.R.O-7:Tactical Robotic Operative 7. Troy is not a bionic android; he only looks like a human. He doesn't replicate any human functions, and he is not anatomically correct. He can't eat, sweat, cry, bleed, sleep, or grow. He looks exactly the same as when he was first finished. He does however have a complex personality, similar to the Bionic Androids. Hes like the… Friday to their Vision. If that means anything lol. Hes very vain ofc but he misses a lot of social cues and has a harder time empathizing. Gies didn't bother to fix these for reasons that'll be clearer in the next level. Geis started Troy in secret back in college after Doug first started Marcus and Daniel. She had 6 versions before he was functioning how he does now. He still is very pervious to water, overheating, and a wide variety of things that happen to machinery. The reason hes less advanced is due to Gies not caring about the intricacies of accurately replicating humane behaviors. She thinks of androids as an easier way to do bionics—easily controllable weapons without waiting for growing embryos that can use bionics. My Doug was more of a human bioscientist with dubious ethical and moral codes. Troy can use up to 3 abilities before he begins to shut down.

Any other Androids in Gies army are Androids. Different from Troy. Troy took all of her college and 5 years after she graduated. Again the only reason she was doing this was for convenience and a leg up in this world so she used Troy as her money maker and all of the others are even less human than Troy. They were all destroyed with no hesitation while Troy was jailed. 

Basic Android are things like Robo Perry and EDDY. Like the Siri and Alexas of our world but with a little more spice.

Timeline for shits and giggles

1992- Creation of Davenport Industries ( Don was 21 Doug was 17) 1994- Begins 2nd year of college for Doug ( 20) and the beginning of Marcus and Danielle ( Daniel) and the prototypes of the L-P, I-S, and S-S chips/ first meeting of Geisel 1995- Geisele begins work on the first Troy. T.R.O-1 1996- Doug Graduates and Davenport Industries begins taking off, making both Davenport's millionaires and affluential inventors and scientist 1996- Gisele and Doug break up 1996- T.R.O-2 1996- Adams embryo is now a baby boy 1997- Brees Embryo is now a baby girl 1997-T.R.O-3 1997- Marcus is sentient 1997- Chases Embryo is now a baby boy 1998-T.R.O-4 1999- Donald builds the Penthouse in Centium City 1999-T.R.O-5 2001- Geisel makes a breakthrough in the movie industry and ceases work on T.R.O-6 in favor of working her way up the industry 2002- Danielle ( Daniel) is sentient ( a few years later Danielle is Daniel) 2002- Doug (27) and Dan (31) fall out and Doug fake dies ( Adam 5, Bree 4, Chase 4) 2002- Dan finds ABC and Raises them 2006- The Gov tries to tack ABC for “science” but fails because I said so 2008-2013- Doug works with shady people to get money and he is fairly rich, he also meets Krane during this time who promises him a big payout for the tech of human bionics and partial bionics he left behind in his young adult rage 2011- Geseil completes T.R.O-7 and becomes an Industry Titan with her breakout hidden star Troy West ( if this were a big thing you’d hear about the movies hes is as sly ref across all the seasons) 2012- Dan ( 41) and Tasha ( 41) tie the knot and Leo finds out about the Rats 2013- Doug Returns and does his evil stuff but he and the android bros get redeemed 2014- Krane does all his evil stuff and teams up with Geis but also does a solo thing so he dies 2015- The Island is up and running for about a year 2016- Geis finally comes in and gets her ass handed to her 2017—- Elite force stuff

I hate everything including all these fuckers. Ignore all the rats lookin crazy as hell i was tweaking when i drew that i promise

[andypantsx3]

HIIIII andy!!! just a genuine question.. if you were to be pressured to update your fanfiction, or getting harassed just because the readers expected u to update it... would u delete ur entire account dedicated to that fic and delete the fic itself too? 😭☹️ (I hope this isn't weird, i just wanted to ask an author bcs this happened to my fav fic today)

I am so sorry you lost your fave fic, omg that is so genuinely devastating!! That is like losing a friend for real :'(

This is a tough one. Obviously there is no right or wrong answer, or any way to know what you would do in the same situation until you're in it. I really think it's up to the author to determine their level of comfort and act accordingly to keep themselves mentally well and safe, and to consistently reassess that as things change!

Personally, I know all too well what it is like to get harassed online and have contemplated nuking my account at times too. I have had friends who have had to abandon blogs for similar reasons as well. But for me, the positives and the friendships and fun little connections I have made on here have always far, far outweighed the negatives.

Plus I also have insane deadlines at my IRL job so it makes me laugh when someone gets shirty with me to update my fics like, buddy you lead this work project then and I will go write you your little chapter lol. So at least, people asking me for updates (even rudely) has never really bothered me too much.

I guess all of this to say, never say never, but I can't envision doing that personally! But I def recommend you download all your fave fics if they're on AO3 and store them somewhere if you can. Because you never know what is gonna change!!

I hope your fave author finds their way back someday and you get to read that fic again!! Sending you (and your author!) all of my good vibes rn.