#there has probably been 20 times where I'm like “uhh I better direct u 2 old buddy” and he's just as baffled so ik it's not just me either
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it'll be a brother with an iten I've never seen in my entire life. I'll be like "heyy can I help ya" buddy will rly deadass be like "ye so I need one of these but smaller. it has to be the one for a rounded corner as well, it can not be the standard. this is crucial bcos I am doing rounded corners and will not be working w a flat surface. now ideally I want this exact iten, I can't remembered if I got it here or not bcos it was 35 years ago. I'm not sure if they even make them anymore. I don't even know what it's called or what it does. I'm unsure why I even want to complete this project. I don't even remember who I am or how I got here. do you know if these keys are for my car? who am I? you don't know who I am? who gave you this job? where is your manager little boy......."
#I'll really listen to like an entire minute of something to be like “buddy I've got no fucking clue what you're talking about”#it's crazy bcos sometimes they'll just do a light “I need a cloboptomized tenderoni for my shwiggle...”#and b4 I can be like “that's rocket science” they'll go into the 2 minute long badboy and I feel bad when I have to tell them idk their job#p sure I've already said this but people making like $50+/hr reacting like I should be teaching them shit when idk som#whole time they don't want to ask somebody like a coworker and feel stupid or w/e#I'm not talking about like “buddy wants a BaLl PeEn hammer?! ok let me call charlie chaplin” like it's genuinely the rarest most niche iten#there has probably been 20 times where I'm like “uhh I better direct u 2 old buddy” and he's just as baffled so ik it's not just me either#and like those 20~ times are between 4 coworkers so it's not just old buddy 2#like they legitimately will come and ask for som n be like “ye idk what it's called or what it does *shrug* gimme 2”#and it's a dragon egg or a shield left half#a rare amulet
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Reading Darth Plagueis,
by James Luceno.
Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.
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“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis
Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder
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Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*
———
Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW
A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard
Plagueis, a literal wizard:
———
Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name
Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,
Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something
———
*at the evil rich people party*
"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"
I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him
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Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:
Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species
His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad
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omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect
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Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes
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Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?
Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?
Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order
Gunray: ur a cleric?
Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"
Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes
———
Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back
Palpatine: *listening attentively*
———
Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill
Sidious:
Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—
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Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.
———
Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me
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Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.
———
Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master
Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”
———
“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”
This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present
———
Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*
I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)
#star wars#star wars legends#darth plagueis#james luceno#darth sidious#chancellor palpatine#darth maul#count dooku#anakin skywalker#long post#star wars yeeteth
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