#the weather is dark and cold so I don't feel happy going out but I also cannot stay at home for the next month
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I miss her (the sun)
#winter break started on friday and i am sooooo bored#the weather is dark and cold so I don't feel happy going out but I also cannot stay at home for the next month#I'm meeting up with friends later this week#but yeah I just miss warm sunny skies and linen clothing and brat summer#they were so good to me#kiya's ranting hours
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Fresh Air
Matt Sturniolo x Reader
Check out my pinned post for more of my writing.
00 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 FINAL
Summary: One night at a party seems to change everything. A strange man with a friendly smile and a sleeve of patchwork tattoos seems to make you feel at home for a change. You're finally happy to have made a good friend to lean on - especially when it comes to your not-so-great relationship with your boyfriend. But what happens if you lean too much...what happens if you fall?
Warnings: 18+. This series contains mature themes, read at your own risk. (SMUT, angst, parental troubles, financial hardships, and more. Don't like, don't read.) This warning is made for all parts.
A/N: To be added to the taglist, send a request in my inbox or comment on the pinned post. I'm far more likely to see requests sent to my inbox.
With love and big tits, Rose.
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00 : midnight moonlight
[ 3 months ago ]
The air around me felt so fresh. I couldn’t tell if it was the fact I had finally escaped the crowd of smoke and sweaty bodies, but it felt good. Cold cement made my legs clutch together for warmth.
“I’ve…I’ve never talked to a stranger like this,” I admit.
Matt. He was sweet. Parties weren’t his thing either. I hadn’t even noticed him sitting five feet down from me until he had said hi. It scared me at first. A strange man, alone in the dark, with a sleeve of patchwork tattoos and a scowl painted on his features.
“Well,” he smiles, his teeth reflecting the moonlight from above us. The same soft grin that had soothed my panic to begin with. He wasn’t intimidating at all once he started talking. “---I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone like this, to be honest with you. I…I don’t know….it’s been a rough day and…I think I needed this. I’m glad we met,” he remarks.
Warmth radiates off of him while I let my shoulder relax onto his briefly. Curiosity swarms my thoughts. I hated talking to strangers. In fact, I hated everything about this. A loud party, a strange man, and bitter, unforgiving weather with a poor outfit choice.
Was I so tired I was growing delirious?
“I…me too. It’s been a day for me—-a week, even,” I snort. Matt swivels himself to look down at me. Sitting back up, feeling my stomach curl as his eyes gleam into mine. I feel bare. The brutal breeze does nothing to compare how stripped I feel under his intentful eyes.
Licking between his lips, he turns his head back towards the ocean. My chest heaves with relief. “I, uh…I guess it’s just been rough? I mean, I didn’t move to LA too long ago. Just…still getting settled, I think,” I explain.
Wrapping my arms tighter around myself, I feel my shoulders fall. Still getting settled. It had been months—four months—and there was no promise of more. I was still getting the same kind of opportunities for work, the same kind of photoshoots that made me…uneasy.
“Tell me about it,” he suggests.
Shaking my head, I let out a dry laugh. “I…I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Just—-let’s talk about something else. What’s going on with you, hm? What made your day so shitty?” I ask.
Matt lets out a deep sigh. Turning his body back towards me, he shrugs. “Don’t really know, to be honest. How about….how about we just talk? We are strangers, I’m sure there’s lots we could tell each other,” he points out.
“Um, let me think…” I snicker, pulling my lips between my teeth. “I—” Looking over, his eyes are trained on me. My words get caught in my throat as I feel the back of my neck crawl with heat, despite the freezing air. “I—why are you looking at me like that?” I mumble, looking at him from the corner of my eye as my lips curl up with a shy smile.
His laugh echoes in the air, easing the tension that had pelted onto my skin. I feel his hand land on my knee. “Geez, you’re freezing. Here,”
Before I can object, his sweatshirt is thrown over my lap. I bite my tongue as my cheeks flush from the innocent gesture. Darting a glance towards him, I open my mouth to object, only to have him push the fabric more onto my legs.
“Don’t worry about it. I have a long sleeve on too. I just—I’m not gonna sit here and watch you freeze all night. Plus, this way we can talk for longer,” he admits, sheepishly pulling his face towards the view in front of us with a soft grin.
“Well, what do you wanna talk about?” I retort.
Matt is quick to pull his eyes back towards me, squinting with question before he starts to speak.
“Moon or stars?”
Thank you for reading. Any interaction is appreciated!!!
#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#the sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x you#matt x reader#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo angst#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo headcannons#sturniolo headcanon#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets smut#Spotify
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Shiver
Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Summary: The snow may not be the only thing keeping you trapped.
Character: silverfox Bucky Barnes
Day Five of the December Daze Challenge.
Prompt - extreme weather leads to forced proximity
Note: As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
"Shit," Bucky plants his feet in the snow as you shiver against his back.
The wind billows around you, his body breaking it but not shielding you completely. You shiver under the wool blanket and open hospital gown. Your quick escape didn't allow much time for a weather report. His treads crunch and sink deeper into the snow as the back tire kicks up powder and the front clogs with the thick sheet below.
He growls and revs again, more in frustration than genuine effort. Your lip quivers and your teeth chatter. You look up as large cumulus flakes drift down, blotting out swathes of the sky.
"Gonna have to ditch it," he grumbles and kicks down the stand. He hardly needs to as the wheels are so deep, the bike might stay up on its own. He kills the engine and the silence blows around you, whistling behind your ears. "God damn..."
You rescind your arms, shaking as the cold seeps across your front, his warm fading quickly. You slide off the bike, your open rubber clog sinking into the snow, your exposed leg scalded by the bite of the cold. He climbs off and looks at you, a grimace lined in his forehead and cheeks. He shakes his head as he strips the saddle bags off the bike and puts them over his shoulder.
The grey streaks in his hair are illuminated by the white landscape, and the patches in his beard look even thicker. The scar through his brow pales with his exasperation. He beckons to you as you continue to quake. He doesn't wait for you to obey. He steps closer and hooks his arm around you, his metal one coming up to scoop you off of the ground. As he lifts you, snow clumps off your shoes and back to the heaps.
"Where--"
"Where are we? Where do we go? Two questions I don't got the answers too." He growls.
You rub your hands together and blow into them. He looks down at you, his eyes glinting with steel, his cheek twitching. He's forged in iron. He gives one-worded orders and grunts, so now that he's talking, you're concerned. Even more than you were before he showed up.
"Sorry," you utter.
He grunts. Right. He hikes you up so you fall against his chest. You welcome his warmth. He takes high steps away from the motorcycle. You watch it over his shoulder. You suppose it's replaceable.
He continues on, slow, but steady. The snow falls at a similar pace. You can't help but nestle into him. You've heard of this man before. Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier. His nickname is more apt in that moment, though he doesn't welcome the irony.
As he carries you, you feel his heart beat, and your own. He is a man underneath all the stories. An avenger. A hero. Your hero. Or just another captor.
You turn to see ahead of him. He walks into the ivory void, the snow slanting and swirling all around. You squint as it catches in your lashes and you hug the blanket tighter. It's damp with snow and offers little against the onslaught.
Hopelessness builds with the piles of snow all around. Still, he isn't daunted. Even as the sky darkens, even as you feel him tense with the burden of your weight. He just carries on. You know what that's like. To just keep going because there's no other option.
A haven appears at last, though you don't immediately see it. You think he's gone mad when he kicks the wall of snow. Then it collapses inward into clumps. The mouth of a cave opens from behind the dusty shower.
He steps through, out of the whining gales. You bend your fingers and wiggle your toes as they ache and throb. He takes you deep enough that the cold is not so virulent.
He puts you down and wades through the darkness. You huddle in a ball as you listen to him. You can't tell he's right next to you until he grabs your leg then trails down to your foot. He takes it out of the clog and wraps it in fabric. You're not sure what exactly the cloth is but it's better than nothing.
He does the same to your other foot before he moves away. Again, you hear him. His shadow blurs in and out of your sight until he turns on a flashlight. He props it in a nook in the wall so it casts across the space. You hug yourself and watch him.
He surveys the interior of the cave as he grips his hips. He doesn't look impressed. He drops his bags on the ground and unbuckled the blanket roll from between them. He unfolds it with a pensive gaze. His eyes flick over it to you. He nears and throws it at you. You catch it thankfully, letting he wet one fall off your shoulders.
He clicks free the clasp on his leather harness, undoing each strap until its slack. He slips it free then unzips his high-collared jacket. He removes that too and puts it with the bags. You stare at him in confusion.
"Your clothes are wet," he pauses and glances over, "what little you got. Take em off. We gotta stay warm."
"Huh?" You gurgle.
"Or you can freeze. I got the serum to keep me warm," he shrugs as he peels off his undershirt.
You don't hesitate again. You reach to the laces of the hospital gown just behind your neck. You've been poked, prodded, observed. You lost your modesty a long time ago. He doesn’t have any either.
As you drag the fabric away from your body, he approaches. Naked, hairy, shameless. He takes the blanket and lowers himself next to you. He wraps you in his arms, bring the thick layer around both of you as he guides you down to cave floor.
You cannot deny the heat of his body. You’re almost desperate for it. You quake against him as you snake your arms around him in turn and press your cheek to the top of his chest. Your legs tangle together as you entwine beneath the blanket, meshing together to keep the warmth within.
His breath is calm where yours is shuddery. You cling to him and close your eyes. The lull takes over. There is only the distant wind, the soft fall of snow, and the beating of his heart. Or is it yours?
You ease down into a senseless trance. You are not so much waiting for it to end as hanging on every second. You’re alive. You can stay alive. For the first time in maybe ever, you care about that. You’re not sure why. It might be nothing more than being away from that horrible place he took you from.
His lips brush your hair and send a new kind of shiver through you. The gesture is odd as he inhales, breathing in your smell. His hand crawls up your back and down again. Your skin speckles with bumps. His movement is cautious but deliberate, as if he’s unsure if your awake or not.
A low rumble rolls in his chest and escapes his throat. He splays his fingers wide and covers one side of your ass. He presses his palm to your firmly and curls his fingers. You whimper. What is he doing?
Your bat your lashes as you open your eyes. His other hand comes up to still your head, trapping it against his chest. His hand hooks under the curve of your rear. He shoves between your thighs, keeping his knee between yours as he feels around.
Your heart races in your ears. The whistling wind is replaced by a thundering drum. Your fear tempos as his determination guides his touch.
He pokes along your entrance and dips his fingertips just inside. He wiggles them as you whine again and brace beneath his chest, a layer of soft flesh pillowed over hard muscles. No, it can’t be. You saw it on the screens. On the pages. He is a hero. He saves people. He doesn’t do this.
He turns you onto your back and shifts his weight over you. You exhale as you look up at the stubble on his chin. You push until your nails crease in his flesh. He does not relent.
He parts your legs with his. He slips free his fingers and unwinds his arm from behind you. You sniff as your eyes burn with disbelief and fear.
“Please don’t,” you babble.
He doesn’t listen. Or maybe he doesn’t hear you. His other hand creeps around and pushes your chin up. He frames your jaw tightly as he rocks and rubs his rigid length against your pelvis. He groans as you feel him twitching.
He grips his dick and drags his tip down, tracing along the vee of your thigh and to your slit. He delves between your lips, rubbing up and down as you squirm in his grasp. Your hands are flat to his stomach as you push futilely.
Your voice evaporates with all of your strength. You feel the paralysis that comes with knowing there’s nothing you can do. You lift your eyes to the dark caverns of the ceiling and stare into the abyss.
He pokes along your entrance. You hiss as he presses against it, threatening to stretch you, even split you. He leans into you, slowly barging his way into you. Your body strains to take him as he lets out a long groan. Inch by inch he invades your body, conquering you as he keeps you pinned beneath the blanket.
The grey ends of his hair tickle you as he sinks until you can take no more. Your tears wobble in the brims of your eyes and you blow out a willowy sob. He lowers his head to brush his prickly stubble against your cheek. His gritty breaths blaze over your ear and he growls as he tilts back.
He pumps into you as you quaver out stunted cries. He rears back with long, slow strokes, only to slam back in quickly, holding himself deep before retreating again. You no longer feel the cold or the warmth, just his violation.
“W-w-w-w...” you rasp quietly under your tortured breath. The noise of flesh, wet and dry, meeting and parting echoes in the cave. “Why...”
He thrusts into you again. He keeps himself buried at the point of agony. You snivel and free a hand to mop your face. He lifts his head and hushes you as he shoves your arm away, caressing your splotchy cheeks with his thick thumb.
“You didn’t think I was saving you, did you?” He nuzzles your forehead as he snarls. “Doll, they made you for me to claim.”
You squeak and latch onto his wrist. Squeezing as he snaps his hip, jolting your entire body. Your pain swells with panic. You don’t understand what he means. If he didn’t save you, why did he kill all those people?
“Yielding, used,” you flinch as your temples tingle with the timbre of his voice. “Vessel, dusklight,” he continues reciting the disjointed words. Your eyes feel loose as if they might roll out, “forty-five, wilting.” You ears ring and you shake your head, digging your nails into his forearm, “one, belonging,” he ruts into you harder with each word, “together,” your skin crawls as your insides burn, “surrender.”
With his last word, your body goes limp. You can’t move but you can feel. You can feel it all. He pushes his hand around your head and cradles it as he bows his head to nuzzle your neck. His breath dampens your skin with each desperate burrowing into your core.
“They programmed you for me, doll,” he puffs into the crook of your shoulder. “They put a switch in you...” he groans and tenses as his other hand stretches beneath you to raise your ass, opening you even more to him. “That only I can flip.”
You don’t even have the power to cry. You can only lay there and stare and suffer. If he isn’t going to save you, no one else is.
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#advent#navy and roo's sleepover#december daze#mcu#marvel#winter soldier#avengers#au#captain america
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Reverse comfort reader taking care of Touya plsplsplsplspls 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I just had the amazing thought of it he's being overly cocky during winter "I don't need a scarf I have a fire quirk!" And the next days he's curled in bed with a fever and sore throat and there's a ton of I told you so's
Not even a fic if u don't feel like it maybe a smau but I think it'd be super funny 😭
🫐 Anon
sick touya supreme bc he can just lay there, be cute n not speak <3
sweat it out // touya todoroki
"What the hell are you wearing?" You exclaim after opening your front door.
"What?" He looks down at his attire. "What happened to hi, hello? A 'thank you for bringing me my package that I stupidly got delivered to your apartment?' Why don't we start there?" He huffs, stepping into your apartment, setting your package down on your kitchen counter.
It had been nothing but near freezing temperatures for the past few weeks- so cold that you had to layer up inside your own apartment to prevent your electric bill from skyrocketing.
"Hi hello, my sweet boyfriend." You roll your eyes. "Do you seriously need me to mommy you right now and scold you for not wearing a fucking jacket out in this weather? Are we not grown adults?" You drops the blanket draped over your shoulders and go over to rub his arms for the thermal friction. "Like you're seriously just wearing this long sleeve? It's freezing if you haven't noticed."
He raises his hand up to your face and snaps a flame into place in between his index and thumb. "You forget I run warm."
"Yeah okay, Mister. I-have-a-fire-quirk. How is that going to help you if it starts raining?"
He pulls you into his chest, letting his body heat transfer into your own, instantly warming you and most importantly for him, shutting you up.
You release a deep exhale in content. "Idiot. You just should stay. For the Winter. Just live here with me for a few months and never leave." You rub your face into his chest, savoring the warmth.
"I think we'd end up killing each other before Spring comes." He chuckles into your hair.
"I'll just chain you to the bed and duct tape your mouth close." You smirk up at him. "Everyone's happy."
"Don't threaten me with a good time, sweetheart." He pulls back, reaching out to tousle your hair. "But I gotta run. Told Shigs I'd be quick."
"Wait! Let me find you a sweater and an umbrella." You frantically look around your living room for any piece of clothing that you had previously stolen from him.
"No need." He bends down and quickly press his lips against yours, letting them linger for a few seconds before pulling away. "I have to go. I checked earlier and it's not going to rain and I'm not cold either. You on the other hand, worry about staying warm."
"It definitely is going to rain, Touya. I can smell it." You huff. "You'll get sick."
"What, is that a new quirk development or something? Weirdo." He lightly pinches your cheeks before slipping his shoes back on. "Also, I have a strong immune system."
"Seriously, let me find you an umbrella at the very least." You rummage around the coat rack for something that could fit him or a spare umbrella.
"Nope, no time. See you tomorrow, yeah?" He calls out.
"I guess." You mutter in defeat as you watch him slip out your door.
"Idiot." You sigh under your breath once the door clicks close.
-


"I'm here!" You call out after stepping into Touya's apartment, using the spare he lent you after locking himself out multiple times.
You kick off your shoes and shed off some layers, draping your jacket, and scarf over his couch before making your way to his bedroom.
"Knock knock." You say as you gently crack the door open, revealing near pitch darkness with sliver of natural light peeking in from the blinds.
You make your way over to the dark lump of mass of blankets on the bed, kicking aside used tissue paper that were thrown onto the ground before kneeling down next to the bed.
"Hello, my sweet stupid boy." You coo, slowly stroking the tuft of dark hair peeking out from the comforter.
"Don't be mean to me." The nasally voice muffled from under the covers. "Princess treatment today, got it?"
Touya finally pokes his head out from under the covers. It may have been dark, but you could still make out his puffy bloodshot eyes, dry cracked lips and flushed cheeks.
"I'll say it this one time then and then I'll give you the best princess treatment, okay?" You lean in close, letting your lips lightly graze the shell of his ear. "I fucking told you so." You whisper.
He groans, retreating back under the covers.
"Did you hear me? Okay maybe one more time." You giggle, trying to rip the covers off from over his head. "I told you so. It rained and it rained hard. Not ideal for that fire quirk of yours, huh? I fucking told you so."
"Fuck off." He groans once more. "One more time and I'm kicking your ass out."
"As if." You successfully tug the covers down to his chin, placing the back of your hand on his forehead. "You don't even have to energy to, you poor thing."
"Am I gonna make it?" He gazes up at you with his tired bloodshot eyes.
"Looks like you got a fever." You push away the sweaty stray hairs sticking to his forehead. "But I think you'll survive."
"Damn." He wheeze out. "That's unfortunate."
"It is, but maybe next time you don't listen to me, you'll get lucky and it kills you."
"Let's hope for it, then." He smirks, bringing his hand up to rub his eyes. "Can I have a kiss?"
"Nope. I'm not trying to get sick, Touya." You smile at the neediness in his voice.
You move over to the blinds and slightly twist them open, letting in some of the dim daylight before tossing the haphazardly thrown stray tissues into the trash bin nearby.
"I don't give a fuck. I want a kiss."
"Too bad." You pay no mind to his piercing stare as you wander around his room, tidying the space as well as clearing off an area on his desk to set up the cough syrups and fever reducers that you brought over from your own medicine cabinet.
You come over to him with the stray glass on water sitting on his desk and a couple Tylenols in your palm.
"Sit up." You order, kneeling next to his bed again, holding out your palm.
"Pop a perc then I black out..." Touya mumbles to himself as he sits up, grabbing the pills from your palm and popping them in his mouth, following it with a large gulp of water.
In this moment, you couldn't help but notice how precious he looked with his old flannel pajama pants, dingy stretched out band tee, disheveled hair and tired eyes- a spitting image of his everyday look when you two were teenagers.
"...Fuckin' I'm blowing her back out." He continues, leaning over to press a kiss on your forehead. "Don't look at me like that unless you're trying to help me sweat out this fever."
Your own face heats up. "The fuck were you saying earlier?" You chuckle, brushing off the insinuating comment and setting the empty glass on his nightstand.
"I don't know. Nothing." He coughs, laying back down, pulling the covers up to his chin. "I think the fever dream-hallucination is hitting hard. You should get in and cuddle before the sickness takes over and kills me."
You roll your eyes at the dramatics, nudging him to scoot over before climbing in under the covers with him, which felt like you had just stepped into a furnace.
He groans in content, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you in as close as he could.
"Can't cuddle for too long okay? I'm going to have to leave and make you some food soon." You mutter into his chest, letting your hand run up and down his back.
"No." He whines. "Just stay like this and I'll get better. I promise."
"That's not how that works." You mutter.
"Maybe if you give me a kiss instead? I think that'll 100 percent make me feel better." He pulls away, inching down towards you with puckered lips.
You stuck your hand out against his mouth, pushing it away. "I can't get sick, Touya. I know your ass will not know how to take care of me."
"You love hurting my feelings." He huffs.
"Well? Who put themselves in this situation. I told you, didn't I?"
"Shush." He mumbles, letting himself close his eyes and rest his chin on top of your head. "You didn't tell me shit."
You let out a sigh and let yourself close your eyes for a moment as well, letting your deep inhale and exhales sync in unison. Maybe having this every night wouldn't be too bad. Sure you two would tear each other apart if you had to spend every waking moment together in the same home, but for moments like these, you wouldn't mind it. Your eyes pop open the moment you feel the deep vibrations of his snores again your body, now realizing that you couldn't dare move from this position, risking waking him.
Just an hour. You'll only give yourself an hour.
-
touya tag: @moonchild701
#plot twist it def was not an hour#also didnt rlly proofread dont come for me#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#dabi#dabi x reader#touya todoroki x reader#touya todoroki#todoroki touya#mha dabi#dabixreader#touya x reader#mha touya
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No Regrets ~ HJS [MATURE WARNING]
CONTINUATION OF THIS PIECE
WORD COUNT: 3.9K
GENRE: Mafia AU, fluffy, first meeting, meet cute, fluffy jisung, soft mafia jisung being soft for reader, always there to protect her, bank heist and shes injured in the process, SMUT MINORS DNI, protected sex, sex in front of the fireplace, oral (female recieving)
PAIRING: Jisung x Fem!Reader
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of blood, killing, stealing, heists, reader being held at gun point,

Lightening slashed through the darkened sky making you jump a little and scoot closer to Jisung, the rain pounding against the windows of a cafe. Somewhere that had become your refuge from the storm that was growing worse by the second. Jisung glanced over at you, ever since you'd walked into the cafe he'd barely been able to take his eyes off you but he'd been trying. Not once was he able to though, it was like there was some kind of curse drawing him to you.
Years had passed since he'd ever been with a woman and he'd practically sworn off everyone he met, not wanting to get distracted by them but there was just something about you, something so warm and fresh that drew him in.
"Are you sure you don't need anything else?" Jisung questioned, his gaze solely on you as you shivered a little, you felt frozen to your core but Jisung's men had already given you a shirt, a pair of pants and a blazer you didn't want to take anything else from them. That was, you didn't want to be in debt to the man beside you.
All of the stories you'd heard about the man from the underworld but they'd all failed to mention how kind his eyes were or just how sweet he was...toward you at least. It was a strange contrast between what people said he was like and what he was really like, something you hadn't really been expecting until now.
"No...T-Thanks." Your chattering teeth gave you away before Jisung snapped his fingers at his men, who swiftly sprung into action. Moments later, a steaming cup of hot chocolate was in front of you and a dry blanket was wrapped around your shoulders.
"I can start the fireplace if it gets too much," Jisung offered, his chest tightening as he watched you closely, eyeing you up as if he were waiting for you to shiver and give him the chance to jump in and be the hero of your story. Not that Jisung was the hero in anybody's story, he was always the villain.
There was something about you that made him feel at ease, something that made him feel at peace as you sat beside him but there was also a nagging feeling inside of him, one that wanted him to protect you. It happened the second you'd barged into the cafe, shivering and dripping wet onto the floor. It was the reason he'd demanded his men into action before they could kick you out, there was no way he was going to send you out in the freezing weather.
"I hate the storms too," He finally mentioned, whispering so that none of his men around could hear the admission come from his lips. He'd never been one to tell people what scared him, not when it could possibly be used against him but you seemed in need of someone to talk to.
"You do?" Your voice cracked a little as you swallowed the lump in your throat, the tightness in your body loosening ever so slightly as Jisung put you at ease.
"Yeah, ever since I was a little boy they always scared me." He holds his cup in his hands, letting the warm ceramic warm up his cold hands.
"I would never have expected you to be scared of anything." You admit shyly before he beams at you, he liked that you were feeling comfortable around him more than he cared to admit.
"There's a lot you might not know, but I'd be happy to fill you in." Your cheeks warmed at the kindness coming from him and you nodded.
The storm raged on outside but the cafe was suddenly becoming a warm sanctuary amidst the darkness. It was an unlikely friendship growing between you both, a mafia underworld leader and a frightened girl who'd stumbled into the cafe by accident.
"My favourite colour is pink but if anyone ever asks it's black," Jisung smirked at you, making you giggle a little as you sipped on your drink.
"Mine's blue, but the colour of the sky on a really nice summer's day is blue." You admit to him, smiling while you forget the storm completely as you get to know Jisung just that little bit more.
The night had flown by too quickly for either of you and you hated as you saw the sun coming up through the windows.
"We stayed up all night?" You laughed nervously, trying to remember the last time you'd ever stayed up this late and it must have been years ago. The light burnt your eyes as you and Jisung stepped out onto the streets, you were still dressed in his guard's clothes and he couldn't help the jealous twinge he got thinking about it.
"Must have," He chuckles softly looking around for a car for you but there was none in sight except for his own.
"Vinny," He whispered in a low voice to one of his men nearby.
"Make sure she gets home safely." Vinny nodded understanding the unspoken order from his boss,
"Don't worry boss, I got this," Vinny told him as he got into one of the waiting cars and Jisung turned his attention to you. Searching in his pockets and handing you a small piece of paper with his number scrawled on it.
"In case you need anything. Don't hesitate to call." You gently took the piece of paper, staring down at it with a mix of surprise and gratitude flickering across your face. You never would have expected his number after a night of just talking,
"Thanks." You whispered before carefully tucking into your pocket and making your way to the car with Vinny inside.
"I'll be seeing you," Jisung called out, watching you with one last lingering gaze before you disappeared into the city and Jisung couldn't shake the weight of concern sitting on his chest.
He knew the dangers that lurked in the streets, especially to someone as unsuspecting as you. He was glad Vinny was going to drive you home but something still weighed down on him as he thought about you more and more being alone and he would do anything to ensure your safety. Maybe he could hire someone to watch over you all of the time, or would that be going too far?
"Boss, we have a meeting with Dante Moretti in an hour." A voice informed him snapping him from his daydream and he sighed nodding his head, there was no rest for the wicked.
"Can you make sure Vinny stays close to Yn, I want updates on how she's doing." He grumbled as he got into his car, ensuring your safety felt as though he was protecting a piece of his own humanity in the chaos of the world and he was going to do as much as he could to keep you safe.
Someone had been following you and you knew who, he wasn't as sneaky as he thought he was since he was almost 7 feet high and built like he could knock down a brick house with one flick of his wrist. Sighing a little you turned on your heel making Vinny almost crash into you from how abruptly you'd stopped in place.
"Vinny, I'm fine." You told him plainly, staring up at the man who looked as though he'd barely slept a wink in days. Ever since your rendezvous with Jisung a week ago, Vinny had been outside of your apartment and everywhere you went. Part of you thought it was sweet that Jisung had asked him to watch over you but after no contact with Jisung, it was beginning to get annoying.
Maybe he did this to everyone he met and the reason Vinnny was watching you was because Jisung wasn't sure you could be trusted but you'd had enough. You wanted some space and Vinny following you everywhere was drawing attention to you that you didn't need nor want.
"Boss said to watch you." You scoffed a little, if Jisung was that bothered about you being looked after he should have come to check on you himself rather than sending a babysitting,
"Your boss can come and watch me himself, I don't need an armed guard." You gestured to the gun that was on his belt and he glanced at it, it was something all of Jisung's men were issued with.
"But-"
"Go and take a break, I'm going to the bank...okay? Nothing bad is going to happen to me in there. Go get food or something." You pointed to the cafe across the street and he bit down on his lip, disobeying a direct order from Jisung meant he'd probably lose his life.
"I have to go, I have a meeting and if I'm late I'll never get the loan I need." You mumbled, straightening out your outfit and walking in the direction of the large building while Vinny looked at you. He knew you were right and he needed a break and what was five minutes going to do if he went to grab a muffin?
The glass shattered around you as loud popping sounds began to ring out, you ducked a little as you flinched. The man you had been speaking to you dropped to the floor instantly and frowned,
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" Someone screamed out, your eyes darted in the direction of the voice and your heart began to race. Armed robbers were storming into the bank, their faces covered by clown masks and you cursed yourself for sending Vinny away.
"Everyone be calm and do as we say and no one has to die." The main man called out as he turned to a man reaching for his wife only to shoot him in the head. Panic gripped you as you sank down onto the floor, none of the masked men had been able to see you since you'd been toward the back of the bank. With trembling fingers you began to hit Jisung's number, you'd had him saved ever since your night together and he was the only person you could think of helping you right now.
As you continued the rings Jisung answered and your voice barely came out above a whisper,
"Jisung, please...you have to do something." You held your hand over your mouth trying to calm yourself down, if any of them found you, you'd be dead.
"There are robbers...they're holding us hostage." You whispered frantically. Jisung's blood ran cold as he listened to the desperation in your voice. Without hesitating he sprang into action, issuing orders to his men and racing to the scene.
"I'll be right there baby, just stay hidden," He kept you on the phone as he raced to his car, he needed to make sure you were safe.
"Where's Vinny baby, is he with you?" Your breathing was frantic but you tried your best to focus on Jisung rather than the yelling and shouting that was going on.
"I sent him away, to eat...I-I thought I would be okay," You sniffled a little and Jisung wanted to reach through the phone and comfort you, wipe away the tears he knew that were streaming down your face.
"I'll kick his ass for listening to you," He chuckled trying to make you laugh but your breathing stilled as you heard someone coming toward you. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you held your breath trying to hide further under the table,
"Found you, sweetheart." Someone sneered, his voice dripping with malice as he dragged you out from your hiding spot his grip so tight you knew it was going to leave a bruise.
"Yn?! YN?!" Jisung screamed down the phone, forcing his men to drive faster down the streets toward the bank you were in.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you felt the cold metal of the gun pressed against your temple, you were shoved through the bank toward the front once again.
"Lookey what we have! An example to make of." He smirked as you struggled against his grip, your heart pounding with every beat as you thought about a way to get out of this or a way to drag it out.
"What did we say? Stay calm and no one will get hurt, it seems someone can't listen to rules." The metal of the gun was dragged down your cheek until he placed it underneath your chin, the tears free-falling as you whimpered a little.
Suddenly, amidst the chaos of the other men shuffling money into banks, the sound of sirens pierced through the air, signalling that police were outside. The grip the man had on you faltered for a second, his attention on the threat of the police. Mustering up all your strength and with the surge of adrenaline, you twisted free from his grasp, ducking out of his grasp and making a run for the safety of a desk. The man cursed as he scrambled after you, just as he got close a shadow emerged from nowhere and stared down at him.
"Jisung." You breathed out as he stared down at the man who had grabbed you, his moments were swift as he subdued the robber and put him to the floor aiming a gun at him this time.
"Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?" Jisung stared over at you, your breath catching in your throat as you watched him closely and you shook your head.
"I'm fine, just scared." You admitted as he nodded, turning his attention back to the other robbers who were all on their knees with their hands behind their heads. Everyone knew not to fuck with Jisung if they knew what was good for them and Jisung waited for the cops to come in.
"How are you doing?" Jisung asked as he sat beside you in front of the fireplace, after the robbery Jisung had taken you back to his place deciding that he didn't want you to be alone tonight.
"Fine, just like I was fine the other twenty-two times you asked," You said, teasing him a little for how often he'd been asking you the same question since getting there.
"I just want to make sure," He sighed, wrapping the blanket around your shoulder more and smiling at you. Your heart began to beat faster as you were cuddled so close to him.
"You're the first person I wanted to call when it happened." You admit, after the events of the day you weren't going to hold back telling him how you felt about him since there was no point, you never knew what could happen.
"Why?" He blushed a little as you watched him closely,
"I like you...a lot, and I wanted to hear from you one last time in case...In case I died-"
"I would never let anything happen to you," He whispered, clutching your hand in his and holding it on his lap.
"No?" You giggled a little as he ran his hand over your cheek and gently rubbed his thumb over your skin,
"No. I should kick Vinny's ass for leaving you." He grumbled, he'd wanted to do it after getting you from the bank but you'd begged him to take you home, not wanting to stay there any longer than you had to.
"I told him to." You reminded him but Jisung scoffed at the thought, the only person Vinny should have been listening to was Jisung and Jisung alone.
"He should only take orders from me." He grumbled a little and you inched closer to him,
"You're cute when you're mad." Your voice came out low and seductive as you gently kissed his jawline.
"Y-Yeah?" He stuttered a little as he felt you closer to him, his heart racing as you began to kiss his jaw again.
"Yeah, and hot when you're being the hero for me." You added before kissing his neck a little, his whole body flaming as his cheeks burnt bright red.
"Yn...Y-You went through something traumatic today, we should probably wait,"
"Why?" You stopped still and looked up at him, his eyes staring down at you, he wanted to, more than anything, but he didn't want to rush you into something.
"I don't want you to do something you'll regret." You smiled warmly at him,
"I promise I won't," You whispered before kissing him softly, his arms wrapping around your waist as the blanket you were wearing dropped from your shoulders.
Jisung carefully laid you down on the floor, kissing down your neck as he pulled the shirt you were wearing off your body.
"I've wanted you for so long," He groans, kissing down your bare chest and sucking on your nipples causing your back to arch off the floor.
"So don't waste any more time," You pleaded with him as he smirked, kissing down your chest until he reached your panty line which he quickly tore off you and threw somewhere in the room.
"I don't let anyone order me around but for you, I'll make an exception." He groans before putting your legs on his shoulders before pushing his face into your cunt. His tongue slowly licked through your folds as you let out a strangled moan of his name.
"J-Jisung," You cry out, your hands pushed into his hair and you ground your hips against his face needing more than what he was giving to you. Jisung didn't miss the hint though as he picked up the pace, eating you out like a man starved as he moaned against your clit sending vibrations up and down your spine.
"F-Fuck! R-Right there," You cry out as he continued to suck on your clit, his fingers pushing into you and sending you closer to the edge. Jisung smirked up at you, your eyes were screwed shut and your head rolled back as you gave into him.
"G-Gonna..Fuck I'm so close," You cried out louder, Jisung curled his fingers to your g-spot, moving his fingers at a brutal pace until you screamed his name out as your first orgasm hits you.
"So loud for me, I love it." He groans as you pull him up and kiss him deeply, not caring if you could taste yourself on his lips but just desperate for him.
"Want you," You grumbled as you quickly stripped him of the suit pants he was wearing and rubbed his cock through his boxers earning a grunt from him.
"I've got an IUD," You whisper to him when you see him searching around for something and he relaxes a little, kissing you deeply as you lay back down on the floor, your legs spread on either side of his hips.
"You sure?"
"Jisung, please," You whined out, spreading your legs further apart as Jisung lined himself up, easing into you at a slow and torturous pace.
"M-More," You begged as you rocked your hips up a little until he was pushed to the hilt, a strangled moan leaving both your throats. Jisung smirked at you as he slowly pulled out of you, only to slam back into you as you let out a scream of his name. He began thrusting into you, harder and faster than before as your hands dragged down his back.
"You're so tight, angel, you close?" He groans out as you clench around him again, moaning out his name as he continues his brutal pace. You'd had sex plenty of times but nothing compared to this, Jisung had you on the edge from just a few thrusts.
"You make me insane for you," He growls out as he continues to fuck into you,
"G-Good, you do the same for me," You whine out, rolling your hips in time to meet his thrust as you feel the familiar tension building inside of you.
"S-Shit, Jisung." You moan out as he grips your hips, his thrusts getting more determined,
"C-Cum for me angel," He groans, as if on his command you came around him, screaming his name out as you rocked your hips riding out your orgasm. Jisung wasn't far behind as he panted into your neck, his hips slowly to a still making you giggle a little.
"Let's go and get cleaned up," He whimpered a little, his hips shaking as you nodded and wriggled beneath him.
The morning sun filtered through the blinds in Jisung's room and he cursed himself for not getting blackout ones like he wanted to. The memories of last night began to filter through his mind leaving him smirking as reached out beside him. He frowned, a pang of unease gripping his chest as he stared at the empty space beside him. Had you regretted the night before?
With a heavy sigh, Jisung rose from the bed and rubbed the back of his neck. Your clothes were still in his room along with your bag and phone which meant you were still around somewhere he just had to find you. He padded down the stairs, an overwhelming sense of gratitude filling him when he saw you standing in the kitchen with your hands on your hips yelling at someone.
"I wanted to cook for him, what's the big deal!?" You cried out at the old lady who had swatted your hands away with a spatula when she found you cooking.
"He only lets me cook for him, it's the safest way." You rolled your eyes, about to tell her who you were when someone wrapped their arms around you.
"Come back to bed, let Sophia make our food so I can fuck your brains out," He whispered in your ear, biting down on your ear as you let out a small moan following him without question.
"So no regrets?" He asked, threading his fingers between yours as he led you back to the stairs.
"No regrets," You smirked kissing him on the cheek and rushing off up the stairs to his room again.
"I hate you," Felix's date said as he stood beside her, her arms folded across her chest as she stared at him looking completely pissed off that she had to be there.
"I hate you more, my little firecracker," He smirked down at her and you cuddled closer to Jisung as you watched the exchange.
"It's strange that's how they express their love," You giggled a little as Jisung took your hand in his, gently kissing the top of it before pulling you into his chest.
"Hmm, think we should uninvite them from the wedding?" Jisung smirked as you slapped his chest softly, hushing him. A charity event wasn't the place to announce your upcoming wedding, you wanted to do it properly and at a dinner with all of them together.
"We'll see you later," Seungmin's date whispered before hugging you and running off toward the stairs with Seungmin.
"They're going to fuck," Jisung laughed softly making you roll your eyes at him.
"They could just be wanting a private moment," You elbowed him in the chest as he chuckled to himself he knew what the couple were up to, since he and you had snuck off at parties to do the same thing plenty of times in the past.
"To fuck." He added as you groaned at him, pulling him to go and dance with you.

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Loophole (Zayne x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: Zayne has an Evol flare-up while you’re visiting Snowcrest. You’re a good friend, so you help him out.
It doesn't mean anything if you don't move, right?
Rating: Explicit (Minors do NOT interact). Word Count: ~6800. Tags/Warnings: Female Pronouns and Anatomy for Reader, Reader is MC, Caretaking, Friends to Lovers, Inappropriate Doctor/Patient Relationship, Childhood Friends, Bickering, Cock Warming, First Time, Vaginal Sex, Photography, Unsafe Sex, Porn with Feelings, Switching. Post-chapter 4 spoilers. Read it on Ao3 Here!
“Let’s get you inside.”
The cold weather poses something of a threat to Zayne, you've realised.
He'd never admit such a thing, of course, but if he hadn't wanted you to make such an observation, he shouldn't have made it his responsibility to impose such an unexpectedly strong presence in your life.
A year ago, you barely knew him. To say he kept you at arms' length was an understatement, but with everything that's occurred in recent months — with such a void left in your life from the loss of Caleb and Grandma — and the ugly mysteries eclipsing once-happy memories — your doctor, of all people, is the one dedicating almost every minute of his time outside of work to trying to fill that void. It's not like he talks your ear off — he's Zayne, after all — but he makes a noticeable effort to make himself accessible to you whenever he can.
He's been a good friend to you at the sacrifice of his own comfort.
In the seven months that have passed since the explosion, you've had more exposure to Zayne than you've had any of your other friends. He rarely strays from his quiet stoicism, but it's far easier to read him. These days, you can't believe you once thought him intimidating. The softer aspects of his personality aren't offered willingly, but accidentally. A slip of the tongue here, a too-long stare at a community cat there, a smile he doesn't think you notice. He masks his requests for you to visit him in his overtime hours as nagging reminders for you to water the plants. He never asks you to bring him dinner, but there's always an extra seat pulled up at his desk when you arrive with it unannounced.
You’re sure he likes it well enough; getting to know you after all these years. You’re just not sold on how fond he is of you knowing him.
It shows stark on his typically taciturn features. Streetlamp light bounces off fluffy snow at all angles in the little village laneway, illuminating the man with an almost healthy glow as he walks stiffly beside you, right hand clutched against his side and his left doing all it can to keep from crushing the bones in yours.
“I’m fine.” He insists while you lead him up to the cabin, grimacing at a sudden chill of wind passing over the porch. There's a certain tone he uses when he's putting on the bedside manner. As a patient, you'd be soothed. As a friend, your patience wanes. He's not fine.
”I’ll get a fire going.” You mutter, ushering him inside. He tries amidst obvious pain to be gentlemanly, waiting for you to enter first, but a scowl on your part has him conceding defeat and ambling through the door. “Get in the shower. Can you turn it on by yourself?”
There’s no more warm light from the street in here. Dr. Noah likely would have fallen asleep hours ago, shortly after you’d left for dinner. Still, even in the dark, you can sense the irritation in him.
“You act like I’m frozen solid.” He retorts on his way to the bathroom, knowing better than to stick around despite the attempt to uphold his pride.
”Get your butt in the shower before I throw you in there myself.”
The warmer months gave you no initial reason to suspect anything, but as the weather worsened and temperatures dropped, Zayne began to feel more on-edge. You’d bore witness to his attacks in the past, but he was no more willing to share his condition with you beyond the odd occasion of being unable to switch it off after a battle. You knew what it looked like when his Evol was acting up. It almost caused a fight, the first time you asked about it. Then, when it became clear you weren’t simply going to leave him to his own devices whenever he was displaying the signs, Zayne steadily, reluctantly, began to let you assist. He couldn’t stand it — he still can’t, you’re sure — not playing caretaker for once, but the two of you found a rhythm; keeping an eye on his temperature, steering clear of fluctuations, little remedies that help him bounce back quicker when his Evol gets the better of him. It became second nature to you, like carrying an Epipen for a loved one at risk of anaphylaxis.
You won’t lie, though. It pisses you off. He’s a constant nag when it comes to your health regarding your heart condition, but there was no allowable mention of his condition when he brought you to Dr. Noah. Not that your opinion counts for anything, apparently, but what idiot cashes out his annual leave for an extended stay in a tundra when he's so prone to such reactions?
It had shocked you even more when your friend declared he’d be staying back for the foreseeable future, conducting research for the old man on a solo expedition on Mt. Eternal. Your friend — the one who'd taken it upon himself to be a stand-in for your lost family — alone, in the worst possible place he could be in his condition.
It was unthinkable.
Four weeks was your breaking point after you’d returned home without him.
Sure, he responded to your texts within seconds. Reception wasn’t good enough for calls, but he made sure to give you no logical reason to worry about him. It didn’t help. Once your dreams started to take the shape of him disappearing into the mountains, you cut your losses and decided to visit for the weekend.
Just as well, considering he’d been massaging his wrist in your periphery for the entirety of your first day. Still, he'd insisted on showing you around Snowcrest, spending as much time away from Dr. Noah's cabin as possible. You knew his tells. He was bordering on a flare-up and hiding it from you. Had he mentioned it and agreed to stay in tonight, you might not of had to drag him home with frost seeping out of his clothes and a foul mood. Instead, he chose to be proud about it.
Idiot.
God knows what could have happened to him if he hadn't come down from the mountain to spend the weekend with you.
He’d never let you get away with such stupidity, and it’s hard not to hold it against him. You came here out of worry in the first place, and the visit isn’t doing a thing to set your mind at ease.
You tend to rekindling the dimming embers in the fireplace, content to mind your business once you hear the shower turn on. At least he’s doing what he’s told.
The living room heats up steadily. New flames settle into a longer-lived glow. You get yourself changed into more suitable bed wear; a commandeered hoodie from your doctor’s medical school era, large enough to reach halfway to your knees. The frayed cuffs have since lost their elasticity and there are a few choice stains, and most condemning, the drawstrings have been chewed to tassels — but god, if it isn’t comfy. Time stretches on, and while the worry gnaws at the back of your mind, you leave Zayne to his privacy. So long as you don’t hear a thump, you’re content to imagine he’s probably just in there being mad at himself over not being the sensible one for once.
Zayne keeps himself locked away for the better part of an hour, in the end. Even Pie pads out into the living room to investigate what you’re doing up alone in the middle of the night before a scritch sends the fox on its way back to bed.
You’ve slid most of the way off the couch by the time the man emerges from his room in fresh pajamas. With your back to the rug, you watch him approach stiffly, slowing to a halt upside-down. He’s still rubbing at that wrist, you note.
“You’re still up.” He mutters, brow knitted in discomfort.
There’s frost on his neck. His lips are blue. It wasn’t even this bad when you were outside. A pit forms in your stomach.
Then, his wake hits you. Cold air, chilling you to the bone, and you sit up in a flash.
“Zayne—“
He silences you with a little hand motion, stepping around you to seat himself as close as he can to the fireplace.
“You’re half-frozen.” You continue when he offers you nothing else. Crawling onto the couch beside him, you reach up to tug at the collar of his sweater, trying to inspect the severity of the attack. “God, you should have said something.”
“I thought you were asleep.” He replies quietly. “I’ve seen — how much it takes to wake you-“
Zayne flinches from your touch when your fingertip skims his neck. The most aggressive warning to stay back that he can risk without waking his mentor. You ignore him, of course. You always do. Sitting close, you press yourself to his side on the couch, guiding his right arm between your thighs. Your fingers lace between his from both sides, covering as much surface area as possible as you use your body to fend off the cold.
A moment is all it takes to see some of the tension in his face disappear. He breathes through the pain, eyes closed, and you shift your gaze to the fireplace to give him his privacy with it.
”You’re in so much trouble when this passes.”
A short, sharp chuckle slips through Zayne’s teeth. He nods once. “I know.”
You sit together like this for a long while, letting him sap the heat from your body to combat the flare-up. If not for the fire, you’d be shivering. It takes time, but eventually Zayne’s breathing evens out. His face relaxes, bit by bit. His half-frozen arm feels just a little cold to the touch.
Neither of you part. Not just yet. There’s too much left unsaid, and Zayne takes far too much solace in quiet to make the first move.
You let your temple drop to his shoulder. “Snow village dates are nice, but most girls would say yes to ‘Go Fish’ and hot cocoa if it means their date makes it through the night.”
After a second, Zayne rests his head against yours.
He inhales.
He pauses.
Then…
“I wanted you to have a nice time. I didn’t think it through.”
…God, he’s such a sweet man. It’s not wonder he’s got you wrapped around his finger.
There’s such a sense of finality to the way he says it. You suppose it’s not necessarily a wrong way to think of it, but it’s not his fault. Sure, it’s your last night together for what may amount to months, and he was stupid enough to think he could get away with poking the bear, but you’d rather have him come home alive and well. Not a victim to his own Evol.
It doesn’t sit right with you to let it end like this. The moment he’s recovered, he’s going to insist you both go to sleep. You’ll take the guest bed, and he’ll take the pull-out trundle, and he’ll remain there, soundless with his back to you. In the morning, you’ll say your goodbyes, and that will be that. The next time you see him will probably be for a check-up, and he’ll spend the entirety of the ECG acting like you’re mere acquaintances again.
No, you’re not losing momentum.
You’re not sure if it’s warmth in general, or if it’s a reaction specific to you — through trust, or the Aether core — there’s just no telling. Zayne keeps his cards too close to his chest for you to ever be sure, but you do know for certain that you hold the quickest remedy. If it’s just warmth, he never lets anyone but you get close enough to supply it. If it’s trust, likewise. The Aether core? You’re the only one.
“What are you—“
Zayne stiffens when you climb into his lap. He winces in discontentment; at such an intimidate proximity, at the physical danger he still poses, at the feeling of your thighs astride his. He doesn’t look pleased in the slightest, but still, his knees shift together, offering you a more comfortable perch on which to explain yourself.
You can feel the cold still radiating from him, fighting his body to keep from regulating its own temperature. It’s unpleasant, the way the chill claws at you, reaching across the expanse of your front. The joints in your hands already ache just from holding his arm to your chest. It’s imaginable, what it must be like to host such an Evol. What it must be like to have your own flesh freeze from the inside-out on a whim.
“Not done keeping you warm.” You answer simply, making a conscious effort to keep your teeth from chattering for his sake. He’s exercising enormous restraint not flinging you off of him already. You shouldn’t push your luck by sending him into any more of a panic.
“It’s not safe for you to be this close.” Zayne protests.
“Then I’m making you safe.”
This time, a growl escapes him. Pain cuts his patience with your impudence short. “You’re going to get yourself hurt—“
Zayne’s words die in his throat when you drape yourself over him, chest to chest, arms languidly curling over his shoulders. He goes completely silent.
“Aren’t you always telling me you can control it, anyway?” You muse, relaxing into him, moulding yourself to his body. The white frost that blooms beneath his skin begins to fade from his throat, unable to contend with the warmth of your breath. “If you didn’t want me doing this you shouldn’t have shown me how well it works.”
“That was after the aid of a hot shower.” Zayne argues. His logic might apply for that aborted attempt at an early-morning hike, but it falls flat tonight. “I was trying to warm up after the shower.”
Yeah, look how well that turned out. He’s as bad at lying as you are.
“So you’re saying I ought to have—“
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“If it’s not helping, Zayne, tell me.”
“…It’s helping.” He mutters.
You declare your victory with a hum, tucking your face into the collar of his sweater.
Even his scent is cold, somehow.
Beneath you, Zayne shifts, conceding defeat. You feel his lips ghost the side of your head. Considering — then retreating from a kiss — opting instead to rest his chin on you. His affected arm remains wedged between you, while his free hand comes to rest on your waist.
Minutes pass. Zayne’s breathing steadies to a resting rhythm. Eventually, the ice retreats into his flesh, disappearing with only a lingering chill. It shifts, marking the man’s return to normal, but he doesn’t announce anything. Instead, he tugs his arm out, only to wrap around you, surrendering to the moment.
“Do you have plans, while I’m away?” He asks.
“Tara’s been looking at the blank spots on my calendar, so I’ve probably got things on without knowing, yet.”
“Blank spots.”
”Yeah. Some of us have those.”
”Sounds like you don’t know what to do with yourself without me.”
“Please. I won’t have to worry about you bullying me. Maybe, y’know, I’ll do just fine without you.”
A chuckle escapes him. Tentatively, he toys with the fabric of your hoodie. “You’re not going to wash this at all, are you.”
Heat climbs up your neck at the suggestion. Of all the night clothes you had to bring, why did it have to be something you’d stolen from him?
You’re no coward. You rise to challenge. “Can’t miss you when it feels like I’ve got you with me.”
“I know you’ll miss me,” Zayne retorts, and wow, he’s really angling for a comeback after having you subject him to being taken care of, “But that’s no excuse for poor hygiene.”
“Poor hygiene—!”
You lean back to glower at the man, only to find him smirking up at you.
“I’ve half a mind to expect to find you asleep on the platform when the train pulls in, simply because you were too excited to wait at home for me to drop by.”
Your ears are positively scalding. You feel yourself shrinking, suddenly not so confident taking up as much space in the room. How does he have you so well figured out? Are you really that much of an open book? Compared to him, sure, but you’d hoped you carried a little more mystery about you than sitting on a station platform for a quasi-boyfriend-without-benefits like a dog.
Even if that is the case — does he really have to rub it in your face?
He can’t get away with this.
Speaking plainly, Zayne’s warmed up plenty. There’s no real reason for either of you to remain this close, and yet — despite lauding himself as the rational half of this friendship, his arms almost keep you from moving any further away.
His expression doesn’t falter with your silence, remaining ever-undisturbed. It unnerves you. His smiles never last more than a second, and you can count on one hand the amount of times he’s looked you in the eye with a pleasant face on. He’s on a power trip. If you don’t cut him down right this second he’ll go nuclear. He’ll leave you hanging with a ‘goodnight’ and a kiss on the forehead and you’ll both never speak of tonight again.
This is it. This is the last straw. Tonight, you leave him hanging.
“You want me to miss you so fucking bad, huh?” You accuse him, tapping a finger to your chin as you pretend to wonder. His eyebrow ticks. “Is that what you’re into? Man, you medical staff are all so power hungry.”
Zayne looks thoughtful for a moment. A thumb idly traces back and forth along your skin, barely tucked beneath your hoodie. It’s such a cautious touch. You wish he wasn’t just all talk. “Perhaps you’re easier to deal with when one considers you might actually like getting bossed around.”
There’s no hiding the erection that sits wedged between you. There’s no ignoring the heat that pools in your core every time it strains against your cunt, blocked only by his sweatpants and your underwear.
There’s no way he can’t feel your heart beat throbbing against him.
And yet — he pretends not to be taking part in any of it.
You think about it for a moment.
Then, you roll your hips forward, slowly, gently. Your nerves spark as your clit finds the pressure it needs against the underside of his cock.
It takes everything in your power to keep from doing it again.
A tiny shiver makes its way out of Zayne. Frustration, perhaps. You angle a knowing little smile at him, and his throat bobs. He knows he’s been caught.
Checkmate.
“Doctor Zayne, are you getting off on this?” You ask, and his face flushes scarlet. His eyes widen, caught off-guard by you finally crossing the threshold.
”I…don’t know what you’re talking about.” He answers lamely, pointedly avoiding looking down.
“You are!”
“Not so loud. It’s n-… it’s nothing.” He insists in a hushed voice, shooting a look over your shoulder before he’s satisfied that the coast is clear of anyone who might be privy to what the two of you are doing. “Just a biological reaction to stimuli.”
“Which stimuli?” You ask, feigning curiosity. “The cuddling, or this?”
To stress your point, you do it again, biting back the swell of enjoyment at the way his lips part of their own accord. A little hum spills forth, and his own hips chase the motion, just for a second, before he halts.
“Please.” Zayne murmurs, moving to hold you still. Inching you back onto his thighs, condemning himself to reveal two little damp patches. One where the grey fleece of his sweatpants pulls most taut. The other a little lower, where you’ve been rubbing your cunt along his clothed shaft.
“You need to learn when you’ve teased enough.”
What — fall back? Now? When all your nerves are alight?
Your tongue wets your lips as you take in the sight of him. Well on his way to wrecked, but not quite there. His expression remains otherwise impassive, but his pupils are far too blown to help him maintain the facade.
“You’re one to talk. Can’t hack it when it’s not you in charge?” You challenge him. “You’re not usually one to shy away from uncharted territory.”
You can’t help but reach out, itching to touch him. Fingertips smooth along his length, feather-light from the bottom up. His cock twitches when you reach the tip, begging for more.
“Ah—“ Long fingers snatch at your wrist, holding you fast. “Try no man’s land.”
“It’s nothing.” You assure him. “You said it yourself.”
Nothing. No different to how he so often strays into treating you, with all his dates and touches. Nothing, midday naps and linking your pinky-fingers as you walk together. Nothing, like the spare clothes you both reserve a drawer for.
“Just warming you up. That’s all.”
Zayne’s chest expands. His gaze fixes on your fingertips curling insistently at his waistband despite his grip keeping you at bay. “That’s all.”
Disbelief? Determination? Disappointment? You’re not familiar enough with how each of these sound in his throat to properly identify it, but Zayne’s grip on your wrist releases nonetheless. He opts to help you make more comfortable work of his track pants, pushing them down just a little to allow you easier access. There’s no presence of approval at how greedy you are about it, pawing and snatching at your prize while he tries to remain nonchalant.
You do try to give him the dignity of privacy by not looking down when he settles and you finally wrap both hands around his cock. He’s already indignant as it is, and the rumble that vibrates deep in his chest as your fingers close around him isn’t helping.
Oh — maybe just a little tease.
“Hey.” You chide, grinning. His eyes crack open, just enough to narrow at you. “Don’t make it weird. I’m a professional.”
It earns you a scoff. Zayne’s fingers, settled on your thighs, give a retaliatory squeeze, thumbs pressing just hard enough into your adductors to skirt on discomfort. He watches you tense at the feeling, and sensing an opportunity to shift the attention back off himself, decides to squeeze harder.
You finally flinch with an “Ow!”, and the man smiles to himself. Mission accomplished. He lets go.
”You’re the professional? How many surgeries have you performed?”
”How many have you performed?”
”…A lot, genius.”
“Didn’t you tell me that some of your worst patients are doctors themselves?”
“Your point being?”
There’s no point — at least not in arguing with him. He’s only trying to distract you. You shift over him, and his attitude dissolves. He leans back, maintaining as much distance as he can — or perhaps to watch, as you tug your underwear to the side — line yourself up — and sink down onto his cock.
Zayne’s chest expands, but he makes no noise. His eyes close. His lips part. A minor crease forms between his eyebrows. It might as well be a sob. You’d use such a reaction against him if you weren’t more concerned with suppressing your own, lest he catch you out. Your cunt burns from the sudden, full intrusion, and his diverted attention gives you the moment you need to grow accustomed to it.
Once you’ve gotten over the initial shock of the feeling, you brush any intrusive thoughts aside. It doesn’t matter if he’s one of your oldest and closest friends. It doesn’t matter if he’s your doctor. You were already squarely planted in conflict-of-interest territory the moment he took you on as a patient.
You try to ignore your own desire. Your body catches up with your actions quickly, igniting touch-starved nerves that you’ve long-fantasised him satisfying. Heat builds inside you at a nervous system realising you’re finally giving it what it wants, and it only screams for more. Of course you’ve wanted Zayne. You adore him, but he’s not the kind of man who could balance a friendship with benefits; if anything, he finds a way to be the inverse of such a thing. He gives you everything in the way of a relationship except sex, and with him steering so clear of crossing that boundary with you, you have to tread carefully.
As much as you want to, this is delicate.
“My point is: zip it and let me take care of you.” You manage.
Besides, its not like you’re actually having sex with him. He’s continually pushing the boundaries of platonic with all his touches and hugs anyway. It’s not like he has a leg to stand on if he wants to protest what sitting on his cock might mean for your relationship. Hell, this isn’t even the first time he’s been hard when you’ve had his hips pinned down with your own.
If anything, you’re doing the guy a favour by taking the responsibility off him to go this far.
Zayne doesn’t bounce back as quickly as you do. His eyes remain scrunched shut, his core engaged beneath your palms as you brace your weight to settle into a more comfortable position in his lap. He looks worried. Apprehensive.
“Doctor Zayne?” Concern begins to creep in, just a little. “Okay, you can say something now.”
“Please,” He grits between his teeth, and relief floods your body as some semblance of calm returns to his expression, “Don’t call me that — like this.”
“Like what? I’m just warming you up, remember?” You offer a smile when he opens one eye, mood shifting to quizzical.
“You’re so immature. And for the record, this constitutes malpractice. You’re a terrible doctor.”
”Trust the process.”
”Fine. What’s the course of treatment?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing.”
You can’t help but chuckle at such quiet outrage. It’s getting easier to read him. Relaxing against his front, you ignore a little gasp on his part to loop your arms around his neck again. Dishonest pretences be damned, this really is doing the trick. “All you need to do is stay still.”
Zayne weighs up his options for only a moment before giving in. His arms slip around your waist. His chin hooks over your shoulder, just barely nuzzling into the crook of your neck. He’s breathing in your scent, and the following exhale into your skin has you stifling a shiver.
Then, there’s a flex within you.
“Hey!” You choke, “I said stay still back there!”
“Quiet down. It was only a reflex.” Zayne defends, a little too cavalier to fly under the radar. “Besides, I’m not the one squirming.”
“I’m just getting comfortable. Your hips are pointy.”
Zayne’s hips slot up into yours, and the feel of him nudging just a little deeper has your eyes stinging. You fail to stifle a little squeak, and you’re shushed for it immediately.
“Just getting comfortable.” Zayne’s words lick at your ear, and the sound of him sends shivers through you, pooling between your legs, pleading with you to satisfy the ever-nagging want to start riding him. “You’re like a vice.”
He has to know how much of an effect he has on you. There’s no way he doesn’t.
You don’t respond to his attitude — however, the condemning, responding, constricting of your insides around his cock surely doesn’t go unnoticed, and with a hollow breath, he lifts you, just a little, enough to draw back and push back in. He’s slow about it; infuriatingly so, almost like if he inches in and out at enough of creeping pace you’ll either not bother to be strict with him, or you’ll simply abandon your own rules in favour of crossing the boundary he’s silently begging you to cross for him.
No. He’s not getting the upper hand here. Not when he gets to pretend all his little actions are forgettable. Platonic. Accidental. Misunderstood. There’s only so many times a guy can subtly grind on someone during a spooning session and claim ignorance when called out about it.
You lock your feet beneath his knees, and sink down onto him, hard. Pleasure blooms. Your cunt aches for more. A sharp breath escapes Zayne, threatening to blossom into an appreciative groan that would only serve to tempt you without your hand clapping over his mouth and a ‘shh!’.
“You can keep still, or this stops.” You announce in a whisper, and he watches you defiantly from behind your hand.
Zayne’s gaze eventually breaks away from yours. Conceding. For now, at least. You lower your hand from his mouth, and relax, reaching across the cushion to pluck your phone from the couch and check your messages.
Already, he’s bothered by your lack of undivided attention.
“You’re on your phone.” He huffs.
“I’m not rewarding your behaviour.” You reply simply.
“You’re not implying that behaving differently would warrant a reward, are you?”
That’s for him to figure out.
You shift your weight maybe just a little more than you need to, indulging in the feeling of his cock shift with you, within you, pressing insistently against that one spot that almost has your constitution coming apart at the seams. Zayne trembles momentarily beneath you, swallowing hard. He’s keeping his cool well enough, but as you settle into the new angle, no longer moving, his frustration makes itself known with another twitch inside you.
If he keeps doing that, you’re not sure you can hold out.
“You really think this is helping?” He asks, voice tight.
“You don’t believe me?” You pout, tapping your home screen and opening your camera app. “Fine, let the expert see for himself.”
Switching to selfie cam, you watch as the man glances at his image on the screen for half a second, before tearing his gaze away. Not a shocker, you reason. He’s probably never seen himself with a hair out of place. Flushed cheeks and dilated pupils? You might as well have shown him a traffic collision.
“Aw, come on. Look how much colour’s come back to your face.”
Zayne musters the courage to look up, but not at the phone. His eyes narrow at you. Accusatory. “I’m not interested in giving you blackmail material.”
“What? Get real. There’s nothing incriminating going on. Especially not when you angle it like this.” You switch on a filter and lean down into the man. “See?”
Curiosity gets the better of him, and his head tilts to get a better look at whatever scheme you’re cooking up. On the screen, both your flushed faces smooth out, blushing perfectly. Cat ears and whiskers. Cheek to cheek. Just another one of your countless selfies with completely platonic friends.
You take the shot. The shutter clicks.
“Cute.” Zayne mutters drily.
“You think so?”
“Only how much fun you seem to be having of it.”
Your brow knits. “Oh yeah? All right, stick in the mud, you take over.”
He gives too much away at that response. His long fingers immediately slip over your hips. He’s readying to flip you onto your back before he notices you’re holding the phone out to him. Then, knowing he’s shown his hand, he has no choice but to recover his pride.
Much to your chagrin, Zayne plucks the phone from your hand, aborting whatever miraculous step he’d been about to take. A corner of his mouth ticks, minutely. He angles your phone away from you, tapping and swiping. His own phone buzzes. Then, he casts the device at the other end of the couch, out of your reach. “I think it’s getting a bit late for screens.” He murmurs. Fingers smooth up and over the swell of your hips. His long arms uncoil from your waist, releasing you as he leans back. Leaving you with a lonesome chill. “And you ought to be going to bed.”
Is that…rejection? Has he just been humouring you up until this point?
You tilt your head. “I’m sorry. Is this not okay?”
“This is fine.”
He looks at the fireplace. Stoic as ever.
“Then what?” You frown.
He doesn’t respond.
Your throat runs dry. Dread creeps up through your heart.
“Hey. Talk to me.” You urge, smoothing your fingers along his jaw, and he leans into your palm.
Seconds pass. Zayne finally regards you again. There’s an acknowledging incline of his head — almost a polite bow. A pre-emptive apology for what he’s about to say.
“What happens after this?” He asks. “Do we part ways at the train station in the morning and the next time we see each other, it’ll be as doctor and patient?”
Oh.
“Is that what we are to you?” You ask, not entirely sure if you want to know.
He dodges the question the best way he knows how: with rationality. “I feel that if that scenario is what you want, we should say goodnight. My understanding of our relationship won’t change, I promise you, but if this goes further, at least one of us is going to feel differently. It would be better if there were no misunderstandings between us.”
Something tightens in your chest. Something dreadful and lovely all the same, anxiety and anticipation at the prospect of a tipping point, at least before saying goodbye. Trust Zayne, of course, to turn to smoke and mirrors when it comes to a confession of feelings, but you’ve known him long enough to see how far out of his comfort zone all of this is.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” You ask, aborting an attempt on his part to avert his gaze with a finger beneath his chin.
His expression remains inexplicable. Then, there’s that little tilt of his head. The quirk of an eyebrow. “Your assumption is correct.”
The apprehension that’s been building in the back of your mind disperses the moment he says it. Your resolve all but disappears. “My understanding,” You begin, reaching up to cup your hand over the other side of his face, “is that I’ve wanted you ever since I walked into that restaurant last year.”
Zayne doesn’t hesitate. His mouth finds yours in a heartbeat. Previously unsure hands pull you against him, locking you in his embrace. He’s so awfully gentle about it all despite your combined strength. Such a gentleman. It comes as no surprise that he shudders at the intrusion of your tongue past his lips — what does surprise you is how quickly he catches up to your pace. Inviting you in. Slipping an arm lower to brace your weight, and you feel yourself being pulled up off of his cock, just until only the head remains at your entrance.
The loss of him has you incensed. He keeps you from sinking back down, and your protesting whines are suffocated with another kiss. All he’s left you with to express yourself is your hands, and you seize the opportunity, combing your fingers through his hair and tugging, just slightly at the roots.
He breaks away with a little noise. Not pained, but shocked. Another one of his spots, you reason, and he’s just as displeased that you’ve found it.
“You don’t know when to quit.” Zayne pants. His fringe dusts your forehead. “What — what were we saying about bad behaviour going unrewarded?”
You’re too mindless right now to play any games. There’s no more thrill of the build that you can handle. Not after this long.
You break, instantly.
“Please —“ You whimper, almost trembling in his grip, trying in vain to take him back in again. “Zayne, I need it — please—“
Zayne relents right away. He gives you what you want, lowering you, burying himself in you to the hilt. Then he lifts you again, building into a steady rhythm.
”You’re so — you’re so frustrating.” He manages between kisses. “Should’ve told me this is all it takes for you to do as you’re told.”
More. You need more. Heavenly as it is, it’s not enough, just having him in you. You push back, and Zayne takes the hint. He’s said his piece. He lets you take the lead again without a fight, admiring the view as you roll onto the balls of your feet, gripping the back of the couch to keep yourself stable. The new angle feels deeper, each stroke rolling drifting sharply over your nerves as he brushes that spot inside you. It takes a moment for Zayne to kick into gear, brain short-circuiting as he watches you squat on his cock, taking what you need from him. Then, he leaves you to support your own weight. Fingers wrench at the front of your hoodie, yanking it up to your sternum, and his tongue sweeps a nipple. In the time it takes for you to react, his other hand has snaked between you, between your legs. His thumb rolls over your clit just as he latches onto your nipple and sucks. The keen barely escapes your lips before Zayne’s hand claps over your mouth, continuing his assault.
It goes from too little to too much. It creeps up on you so fast, so suddenly, and there’s nothing you can do but ride through it. A muffled hum is all the warning you can give him. Your pace staggers as the burn in your thighs catches up to you, but Zayne only goes faster, rubbing merciless little circles into your nerves. His hips roll up into you, compensating as best he can for your loss of control. Finally, the band snaps, and you sob against his hand, spasming around him, tears pricking at your eyes with the intensity of it all. You go positively boneless, and Zayne breaks away just enough to let you collapse into his chest as he carries you through it, breaths quickening as the lingering spasms of your orgasm invoke his own.
“Fuck, I’m—“ He barely stammers, releasing you only to coil his arms around your torso again, readying to pull out.
“Not going anywhere.” You promise, clinging to him. Your fingers comb through his hair, tugging again, and a whimper dies in Zayne’s throat. He buries his face into the crook of your neck. His hips roll up into you once, twice, thrice more, and then he goes still. Buried in you to the hilt as he tips into oblivion.
He’s so subtle about it that you barely even realise he’s coming. Maybe it’s the effort not to wake Dr. Noah. Maybe it’s like this every time. Having him hold you with such desperate reverence while he does his best not to judder in stark contrast to to the feeling of him pulsing within you, you reason you’d like to find out. He hides his face from you throughout, only pulling his forehead from your clavicle when the aftershocks have come and gone.
Zayne looks lovelier than ever like this — coming out of a blissful haze, gazing up at you with cautious adoration. His focus flickers between your eyes and your lips. His chest expands and collapses like he’s like a 5-miler, but his breaths are smooth.
Even now, he’s trying to maintain a cool composure.
“Forgive me.” He mutters, not quite meeting your eye.
Your head tilts. Chasing him. “Huh? Why?”
“I exercised poor judgement. That was rotten of me. I should have known better, given I’ve never prescribed birth control to you.”
“You really think I’d come to you for birth control?” You snort.
Zayne’s brow creases. An incredulous look totally undermined by how positively wrecked he looks right now. “I am your physician. Or has your other doctor friend decided to become real after all?”
Your fingers comb through his hair again. Despite a pleasant sigh on his part at the sensation, his expression remains steeled.
“Hey.” You finally manage to capture his gaze, only for any tells to evaporate. “Could you tell me something?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Are you more jealous that I might have had sex with someone who wasn’t you, or that I might have gone to another doctor?”
Zayne considers his answer for a long moment. His head tilts in that particular way it does when he has to make a decision, eyeing you expectantly. Punishment for daring to push him out of his comfort zone.
He presses a hand to your forehead.
A thoughtful hum escapes him.
“Curious. Your temperature’s dropping. On second thought, you should stay another day so I can observe you.”
“You’re avoiding the question!”
“Here. I’ll keep you warm. You can install those camera filters on my phone to pass the time.”
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# iwaizumi hajime - won't let go
a/n = i'm not the best at writing hurt/comfort type of stuff, but i hope this piece is alright ^^ also we love iwaizumi on this acc sm he's the man fr.
summary = after an argument, iwaizumi needs to apologize.
warnings = one swear word, argument, idk what else.
the sound of rain hitting the ground came from behind your window, being the only thing disrupting the silence inside. the storm was getting heavier with each passing hour, taking you and many others by surprise, since the last few weeks have all been sunny and warm. luckily you didn't go outside today; or the day before, or two days before, or ever since the argument.
the last thing you expected, in this type of weather especially, was to hear a knock on the door. you didn't order anything, and your parents were supposed to come back from their trip on sunday. so who could it possibly be?
you slowly opened the door only to be met with the tall, dark-haired boy, his clothes soaking wet from the rain, hair sticking to his forehead.
iwaizumi.
"what are you doing her-"
your words were quickly cut off by the boy, his eyes locked on the ground in front of him before his head went up, his focus now on your face.
"i'm sorry."
you were used to the fact that iwaizumi didn't show much emotion on his face, but you also knew one other thing. his eyes would always tell the truth. and right now, as you stared into them, you were positive about how genuine his words were.
"iwa, we can't go on like this if you don't trust me."
he knew you were right. after all, that was the most crucial part of a relationship; trusting one another wholeheartedly. and iwaizumi trusted you, there was no doubt of that. but something was different that day.
maybe it was the fact that he was mad after losing the match. maybe it was how jealous he was at the smile you gave to the karasuno members, how you celebrated with them after they won. but all of those things just rubbed him the wrong way.
he knew that you were their manager, but you were also his girlfriend. and something made him feel betrayed that day.
"maybe we shouldn't continue this, then."
his words felt like a knife going right through your heart. you could feel your eyes getting watery the very moment they left iwaizumi's mouth. as you looked down, trying to hold back the tears as well as thinking of what you should say back to him, you heard kiyoko, one of your fellow managers, calling you from the other side of the hall, since there was a team meeting before the next game.
you turned around and left, without a word, wiping away the single tear that managed to slip and roll down your cheek, assuring your friends that yes, everything is okay.
oh, what a lie that was.
you didn't see him since last week. in the meantime, karasuno managed to win the final and secure their place in nationals, and as happy as you were for your team, you couldn't help but shake the sadness away after what happened between you and iwaizumi.
"come inside. you're gonna catch a cold." a deep sigh left your lips as you gestured for him to enter the house, closing the door behind him. you quickly turned around heading towards the bathroom. "you're soaking wet. i'll grab you a towel."
"please, listen to me first." iwaizumi's voice sounded desperate as it echoed from behind you, his hand reaching out to gently grab you by the arm.
"not until i'm sure you won't get sick." you looked at him for a spare second, and he decided not to stop you. he waited patiently in the hallway, reaching out to take the towel you handed him the moment you stepped out of the bathroom, along with a hoodie and pants for him to change into.
his hoodie and his pants. ones that he left in your house on purpose, ones you always used as pajamas when the nights got cold.
as you stood there in silence, watching iwaizumi dry his hair, you couldn't help but realize how awkward it all felt. it was never this way between you two; you could spend hours without speaking, just spending quality time with each other and it just felt right. but now, after the argument it was different. and you didn't enjoy that at all.
"i'm sorry. about what i said after the game." he took a deep breath, looking up at you, his words disrupting the silence. "i was just, jealous. and mad. i was mad after losing that match, and it made me even more furious to see that you were so, happy."
you didn't bother to interrupt him, letting him explain everything.
"i know you're their manager, and you felt happy your team won. i completely understand that. it would be weird if you weren't cheering them on. i just couldn't help but feel bad." his eyes were glued to the floor, the overwhelming feeling of shame taking over him. "i know that i fucked up, really badly, and there's nothing to excuse what i said that day." iwaizumi could feel the tears starting to form, but he did his best not to let them spill, a shaky breath escaping his lips. "i just need you to know that- that i don't feel that way. i don't think we shouldn't continue this thing that we have. because i love you. i love you too much to lose you like this, to lose you because of my stupid actions."
your eyes widened at his words. there it was.
the first time he ever said those words.
you took a step towards him, your hand reaching out to gently lay down on his cheek, a small yet warm and gentle smile gracing your face.
"it's okay, hajime." your words sounded so soothing to him, you're voice calming and soft, even though millions of emotions were going through you that moment. "i accept your apology. i just couldn't help but feel hurt by your words that day, you know. i think it's quite understandable."
he looked up at you, nodding in response, as his hand instinctively went up to yours, thumb trailing little circles on the outer part of it.
"and, one more thing." he had a questioning look on his face, his head tilted to the side as he heard your words, your body moving just a little bit closer to him. "i love you too."
a shy smile appeared on his face, his fingers interlocked with yours as you stared at each other, both happy inside that this situation was over with.
"it's still raining. you can stay here until it stops, if you want."
iwaizumi squeezed your hand, his smile noticeably growing as he heard it.
"i would love to."
taglist: @ox1-lovesick @moonswolfie @wyrcan
#tsxkkis#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime x reader#aoba johsai x reader#iwaizumi fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu hurt/comfort
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Sweater Weather

Pairing: Husband!Toji x Wife!Reader
Summary: The winter months came faster than expected, each day colder than the last. Still, the chill in the air isn't nearly cold enough to put out the fire your husband has for you.
Warnings: fluff, teasing, use of pet names (Baby, Mama, etc.), language
"Megumi Fushiguro!", you shout from the kitchen at the sound of tiny, rushed footfalls and the front door opening. You peek out into the entryway as you remove your apron to see the little rascal in question halfway out of the house. "Just where do you think you're going?", you inquire while fully stepping out to lean against the lightly decorated walls leading to the front door, "You know how I feel about you running off without me knowing.".
The dark-haired boy pouts, anxiously shuffling around to face you with a hand still on the doorknob. "Itadori and Nobara want to build snowmen in the park, and we wanna get there before the older kids take up all the good spots!", he huffs from behind his hooded jacket while glancing outside. The ground's covered in snow, little flurries of ice drifting down from clouds adding to the mounds of white building in the neighborhood. You pretend to think for a while, finding his nervous shimmying adorable, before smiling and nodding. "Alright, kiddo. Don't forget to wear your mittens and hat.", you say before turning around to go back into the kitchen, "And don't forget to-".
"Watch out for weirdos and stick close to the others, I know!", he excitedly finishes your sentence for you before exiting the house, "Love you, mom!!". You gasp a little and turn to ask him to repeat himself, but he's already gone. Your heart melts a little in your chest and a soft smile creeps its way onto your lips. That was the first time he'd called you 'mom'.
You turn the stove off, hot cocoa ready and simmering, before making your way to the living room where you know your husband is. You'd been married for a few years, Megumi on the cusp of his seventh birthday at the time, and you'd grown to love the both of them dearly. Though Megumi loved and respected you as well, he'd always been touchy about referring to you as his mother seeing as he wasn't quite over the loss of his biological mom so early. You made it clear that you weren't a replacement for her and never could be, and you never pushed the subject any further. Hearing him call you his mom today warmed your heart more than he'd ever know; it made you feel fully accepted into his life.
"What're you grinnin' about?", the gruff voice of your husband called effectively pulling you from your thoughts. He was sprawled across the couch, black tee bunched up just above his belly button allowing you a good view of his happy trail. That was another thing you were grateful for: a husband as kind and gorgeous as he was. "Megumi called me mom before he left.", you answered softly as you neared the couch.
A smile graced his lips, stretching the thin scar on the corner of them a little bit thinner as he patted his knee. "Bet that made you feel all kinds of giddy, huh?", he teased as you straddled him. You rolled your eyes playfully as you made yourself comfortable in his lap and gave his chest a light shove. "Of course it did! Feels like I'm finally a part of your family.", you replied to which he tutted at you and rested his hands on your hips.
"First of all, it's our family. Secondly, you know damn good and well that boy's crazy about you with or without the name.", he gently scolded from beneath you, "Shit, I am too.". You smirked while looking away bashfully, his hands tracing patterns into your skin flustering you even more. "Is that so?", you hummed after a second while looking down at him again.
Mischief and love glittered behind his emerald eyes, his hands lowering to grip your ass as he grinned up at you. "You know I am, mama.", he answered, and you giggled while shaking your head. You moved lower to sit on his legs, and he sat up to follow you. "There you go, always ruining the mood with your freaky ass.", you laughed, and your husband feigned innocence. "Whatchu mean, ma?", he asked while leaning in further, set on invading the space you were trying to create. You raised a knowing brow at him as you lightly pushed him away with your pointer finger.
"You only use that name when you're trying to get in my pants, Toji.", you responded flatly to which he chuckled slyly. "Can't blame a man for tryin'.", he muses whilst leaning back to prop himself up on his elbows, "Besides... seeing how whipped you are for our boy makes me wanna give you another one.". A swarm of butterflies fills your stomach at his confession, the room feeling all too warm much too fast. It never failed to amaze you just how easily he could chip away at your resolve. "Just one?", you question while reclaiming your spot on his lap, arms draping around his neck as you lean into him. Toji smirks as he begins to close the distance, dropping onto the couch fully and pulling you with him. "As many as you want, baby.", he hums as his lips finally find yours.
The kiss you share is slow and controlled, the shared heat chasing away the chill that'd been nipping at you all morning. As your lips continue to push and pull at his, the icy tips of his fingers trace patterns into your skin from beneath your sweater. A shiver creeps down your spine at the temperature difference, and you lean deeper into him seeking warmth. He provides more than warmth as his hands wander, drawing tiny gasps from you as he marks a trail across untouched skin; heat provides a heat that can't be synthesized, a fire that can't be put out.
Your hands begin to travel as well, moving up from his shoulders to play and tug at his inky locks. Your husband groans at the sensation, briefly breaking the kiss to let out a shaky sigh. "You're killing me, ma'.", he whispers between you two and you smile. "If you keep being good to me, I'll let you 'kill' something else.", you tease before your lips reconnect. The kiss deepens even more, your hands sliding between the both of you to begin tugging his top off him. Before you're able to, all the heat that'd built is sucked out of the room by the sound of the front door opening and familiar voices echoing through the house.
You gasp and scramble off Toji, hastily fixing your clothes as the sound of footsteps draws nearer. Your husband chuckles at your flustered state and pretends to go to watch T.V. "Hi, Mrs. F!! Hi, Mr. Toji!!", Itadori and Nobara shout as they file into the living room. You greet them warmly as they both hug you tightly, their skin cold from being outside.
"Quit it, you idiots. You're gonna make her cold!", Megumi scolds them from the door and they giggle. "Hello to you, too, 'Gumi.", you reply before nodding toward the kitchen, "There's hot chocolate and fresh cookies on the stove if you guys want. Help yourselves!". Itadori and Nobara shout excitedly before squeezing you again and bolting into the hallway.
Megumi rolls his eyes as he narrowly avoids being trampled, rushing to hug you once they've both gone. You chuckle at his bashfulness as you ruffle his hair. "Welcome back, honey.", you hum and you feel him relax into you.
A loud clatter sounds in the kitchen followed by mischievous giggles causing Megumi to stand upright. "If you guys have broken anything, 'm gonna kick your asses before mom can!", he shouts before marching off toward the kitchen as well. Toji clicks his tongue at his word choice and Megumi offers a half-sincere 'sorry' as he leaves the room. Once the coast is clear, he leans in to nip at your ear to whisper into your skin.
"Yeah, one's not gonna be enough after all."
#anime#fanfic#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji x reader#toji x you#fushiguro toji#toji fushigro x reader#fluff#jjk fluff#one shot#this is so cute
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iris
gojo x male reader spoilers for the jjk manga!!
notes: high school gojo!, meanish suguru and shoko, satoru hating higher ups (we knew), unedited bc im lazy, not entirely lore accurate, reader has implied telepathy, really unrealistic, title from the googoo dolls, this could be so much better tw: cursing, DEATH (im describing death guys please watch out), making out (lazily and not described), saliva (idk its nasty to some people), gore described in death, BLOOD
…sun✰ draft back from my emo era, i cried writing this</3 happy april fools guys!
and i don't want the world to see me 'cause i don't think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am
satoru’s soft hands had become rougher over the wet winter.
countless cold december nights had made the skin on his hands crack. y/n and satoru laid pressed against one the roofs of the high school, fingers intertwined tightly. the warmth from their hands was like a fire, heating both of their bodies in spite of the cold winter. satoru’s eyes watched the sky, stars blinking brightly.
“i can’t wait till we get older.” he whispered, squeezing y/n’s hand gently. satoru turned his head to look at his boyfriend, smiling softly. butterflies fluttered their wings in y/n’s stomach at the expression, his face inching forwards towards satoru’s.
his only reply was a soft hum, satoru giggling. “uh huh, yeah. i can’t wait to go on dates at any time of the day, to wake up in your arms, to see you all the time, to go on missions with you, to marry you.”
y/n looked away and back towards the sky, his face caked with a pink glow. “shut it…”. the air returned to it’s winter quiet as the two stared at the blinking lights of the city.
the silence allowed the thoughts y/n had laid to rest bubble up again, flowing to the tip of his heavy tongue. maybe, just maybe, he could say them. if he was brave enough. it’s only a few words-
“maybe…” the start of a sentence brought satoru’s attention back, his eyes going straight to y/n’s face enshrouded in darkness. “once we retire from this sorcerer stuff we can finally be together? like in public.” y/n’s sentence ended, but the silence didn’t get broken up by satoru replying. doubts that y/n had pushed down for a second bubbled up again in the long, cold silence. maybe satoru didn’t want him forever. maybe he was something for now, something to quell the pain of adolescence.
and then satoru laughed.
satoru’s laughter rang through the night, so brightly that a passerby would think the sun was rising. y/n turned his head to look back at his boyfriend, his fears quelling as he saw the brightest smile on satoru’s face.
“i’m excited for the day i’ll forever be yours.” satoru moved forward, pressing a gentle kiss to y/n’s cheek. the world was so much brighter when satoru was affectionate, which was often, but the feeling of his lips was ethereal.
y/n let himself sink into the feeling. no doubts, no worrying about dying, just happiness. just himself and the boy he loved. he squeezed the boy’s hand again, allowing himself to feel each muscle and tendon squeeze satoru’s palm.
satoru let out a sigh, moving from his spot to cuddle into his boyfriend’s side. his breath was the slightest bit warmer than the weather outside, the patch of skin graced with the feeling reacting by sending a shiver through y/n’s body. the contact between them surfaced thoughts of doubts and fear that had been put to rest for a second.
so much for peace.
y/n brought his hand up to pet satoru’s hair like he was a cat begging for attention, words bubbling on his tongue. “toru…”
“hey really handsome boyfie may we go inside? i’m really cold and i don’t want to become a snowman.” satoru’s voice was chopped with the sound of chattering teeth, a smile on his lips as he looked up to make eye contact with y/n.
even when satoru cut his words off unknowingly, even when doubts clouded y/n’s mind, satoru’s bright smile melting everything he ever feared. the panic that morphed y/n’s smile into a frown disappeared as y/n nodded, sitting up with satoru in his lap. “of course, toru. let’s go to my dorm mr. snowman.”
soft whines and complaints left satoru’s throat as they climbed down from the roof, entering into the silent hallway. “i don’t want to be a snowman! i’m a warm, sweet ray of sunshine.” he spoke with a proud smile, his hand lacing with y/n’s. silence fell between them as the made their way to y/n’s dorm room, opening the door to enter inside.
satoru plopped down on the bed, a lovesick grin gracing his face as he looked at y/n. “also, it makes me happy you’re calling me toru again. i think you’re getting better. i think we’re better. it makes me so happy.” y/n stopped in his tracks at the dresser, putting the tshirt he was holding back down on the top of the surface. he looked back at satoru, smiling softly.
“i love you.” satoru said, a sparkle in his eyes as he flopped back down on the bed, y/n’s face flushing.
satoru loved him. it wasn’t a hard thing to assume, but confirmation made everything better.
the forgotten words he had to say crossed his mind once more, his returning smile falling even with satoru’s cute mumbling.
i have something i need to tell you.
the words wanted to push from y/n’s mouth, but he found a strand of restraint to keep them at bay.
it can wait for later. there’s no need to make satoru upset when he’s so happy.
the training fields were covered in snow as y/n woke up in the morning, suguru and shoko standing in their jackets under the pavilion. y/n’s eyelids slowly blinked as he adjusted to the morning light, his jacket thrown loosely over his unbuttoned uniform shirt. satoru came up behind him, slinging his arm over y/n’s shoulder like it was natural for him. like it was so natural, even though it caused y/n’s heart to flutter to the sky and made gojo’s cheeks turn the softest shade of pink.
“good morning my favorites!” satoru cheered, jumping into the snow.
shoko sighed, putting one of her finger tips next to her ear to block the sound of satoru making a snow angel. suguru cringed, side eyeing satoru as he got out of his angel and ran to him and shoko, leaning in to try and conserve body heat.
“good morning, satoru.” suguru breathed out, satoru smiling happily as he attempted to mold himself to suguru’s side. y/n let out a soft chuckle as satoru began to happily talk about his morning with suguru.
the outside was filled with noise, shoko and suguru resisting from rolling their eyes as they watched satoru jump around happily like a child on a sugar rush. they talk between each other, their words exiting their mouths in a hushed tone.
”god, he’s so energetic.” suguru sighed, putting his head in his right hand, shoko tightening her scarf around her neck.
”i know, it’s so early. i just can’t believe anyone could like him when he’s so energetic like this.” shoko sighed, rolling her eyes as satoru jumped to y/n, adjusting his hat.
even though the two were quiet, y/n still heard their words, the things they were saying swirling around his mind.
how could anyone like him. how could anyone like him. how could anyone like him.
how could they say that about his satoru? they were friends, weren’t they? as satoru played with y/n’s collar, y/n changed his gaze to look at suguru and shoko, shaking his head knowingly.
suguru smiled weakly, moving from his spot to make a snow ball, throwing it at satoru’s head with a smile. satoru turned, his glasses falling off as he stared at suguru. “bring it on!” satoru yelled, separating himself from y/n to throw snowballs at his friend. a small grin appeared on y/n’s face as he saw the two interacting, getting shoko involved. their loud screams rang through the exterior, y/n watching them play.
he loved satoru so much.
“y/n, come join!” satoru yelled, suguru and shoko reciprocating his call. y/n joined them, throwing snow at the three with a smile on his face.
how could anyone like him? because he’s the kindest, funniest man in the world.
the heater in y/n’s dorm must have been broken.
there were 5 blankets on his bed and a cuddly satoru resting on his chest, but the air was still cold. the windows weren’t open, and the rooms had been temperature checked before winter started, so what could it be?
“i don’t want you to go.” satoru whined, looking down at his boyfriend. a pout rested on his lips, his bright, blue eyes staring into y/n’s. his fluffy white hair stuck up in every direction, y/n’s hands running through it. he was cold because y/n had broke his heart (figuratively) by saying he had a mission to go on.
“i know. i’m sorry.” y/n’s voice was soft, a frown gracing his lips. satoru sighed, adjusted himself so he was situated in the crook of y/n’s neck, his hips wriggling before deciding on a place.
“i think the higher ups hate me. why are they taking away my boyfriend.” satoru whined, his words vibrating on y/n’s skin. “i could kill this thing in a minute and be back to you.” y/n winced slightly, pressing a kiss to satoru’s face.
“…you don’t have to do all this work for me. besides, it’s a first grade, i’m a first grace sorcerer, i’ll be fine.” y/n countered, causing satoru to break out into a sea of whines and complaints. with a sigh, y/n pressed a kiss to the man’s lips, a smile begrudgingly appearing on his own. “you’ll live, toru. i promise.” satoru smiled, snuggling his head into his boyfriend’s chest.
“i know. you’re really strong.” satoru spoke, his voice deescalating from his normal loud demeanor. he let his quiet voice take over, a soft, gentle voice replacing the energetic voice he used to carry. “i love you.” he said, his lips attaching to y/n’s jaw as he pressed gentle kisses to the skin. y/n sighed, his hands raking through satoru’s hand.
he pulled satoru’s head off his jaw, connecting their lips. they moved together as one, satoru’s puffy, pink lips a calming medicine for his body. was it possible for a man to be this perfect? satoru’s hands gripped y/n’s free one, his lips moving faster. y/n moved his hand that laid in satoru’s hand to rest on his jaw, a smile on his face. lazily kissing his boyfriend was one of the best pleasures in the world, there couldn’t be anything better than that.
satoru situated himself on top of his boyfriend, his unoccupied arm wrapping itself around y/n’s neck until his palm was pressed against the baby hairs on the nape. their lips were slowly moving back and forth, like a dance that was a slow and constant tango. satoru was a weighted pillow, and he quelled y/n’s anxiety that easily.
all the fear of something he had to say to his boyfriend, gone away in an instant. the words were gone from his lips, satoru taking them out through the placement of his own on y/n’s. a soft noise escaped y/n’s lips as satoru separated himself, a smile on his lips starting after seeing the thin strand of saliva breaking in between them.
“i’m staying the night with you. i’m going to be here when you leave tomorrow.” satoru affirmatively spoke, y/n smiling as he saw satoru wipe his lips.
“i guess i have all night to spend with you.” y/n spoke, satoru nodding, his hand squeezing y/n’s. “i love you.” he repeated, satoru rolling his eyes. the room was warm now, all the cold gone, y/n’s heart pumping fast as he saw satoru gaze into his eyes.
“yeah yeah, i love you too.”
satoru was one of the best ways to get sent off before a mission.
y/n had been gone for a week.
a week was unnecessary for this mission. satoru knew this. his boyfriend was strong, so one grade one curse shouldn’t constitute a week long trip.
something had to be wrong. that had to be the only option.
satoru sat up in y/n’s bed, his eyes sore as he rubbed them. his heart was beating fast, too fast for a simple deep sleep.
help.
was he hearing something?
satoru.
he was definitely hearing something. y/n’s voice ringing in his ears, even though he was hundreds of miles away fighting a curse. even with this rationale, satoru got out of bed and put his slippers on. pathetic. the strongest, only showing weakness for the man he loves. satoru exited the dorms, running as fast as he could without tripping. the streets of tokyo pass by in a blur, his stomach clenching and his lungs barely able to catch oxygen.
he had to find y/n.
he looked down an empty block of land in some deserted city block, time slowing after he blinked. satoru’s eyes caught on a bloodied figure, the damage of a fight prevalent on the street. he recognized that figure anywhere. his y/n.
“no, no, no, no, no.” satoru muttered, running over to grab the man’s hand. blood pooled down his arm, satoru able to see the bone peeking through from where the blood flowed. “baby, what did they do to you?” he asked the question quietly, squeezing y/n’s hand.
“there was too many- curses. one was… a special grade?” y/n spoke, his words getting cut off by the closing of his eyes in pain. “it doesn’t hurt anymore.” he spoke, tears pooling in satoru’s eyes.
“i need to get you back to school. they can save you- baby you hear me?” he spoke, his voice frantic.
“satoru, i think i’m dying.” y/n’s voice was hoarse, the words coming out shaky. his hand reached up to hold satoru’s cheek, a scared look appearing on his face. “you’re… glowing. it’s beautiful.” he whispered, tears dropping from satoru’s eyes. satoru began to speak, y/n cutting him off. “if i’m dying, at least i’m here with the man i love.”
satoru broke. tears now flowed from his eyes, now taking in y/n’s appearance. his chest was bleeding everywhere, and there were cuts in the pants of his uniform, where more blood leaked out. dried blood was caked on his forehead, showing that he had been bleeding for a long time. there was nothing satoru could do for him.
he was dying.
“i love you. so much. with my entire heart.” satoru whispered, kissing y/n’s lips gently. it tasted like blood. satoru hated that taste, but he savored it. he could still find y/n’s taste inside there, even if it was subtle.
“i love you too. forever.” y/n spoke quietly, his eyes glossing as he began to cry. satoru held the man tightly, disregarding the blood seeping into his pajamas, holding the man tightly as tears fell down his face and his breathing got slower until it stopped.
satoru’s heart stopped along with it. he cried out, sobs racking his body as he held the man tightly, voice heard by no one.
if only he had gone on the mission instead.
satoru was empty.
his heart was beating coldly, nothing good happening from each beat. he was alive. that’s why it was terrible. he was living and y/n wasnt.
his eyes were red and puffy, no icepack cooling the pain. his legs ached from how much he sat in bed, and his eyebags were deep from sleepless nights haunted by his boyfriend.
or, should he say, his dead boyfriend.
y/n’s funeral was small. yaga-sensei was there, and all the students (the living ones at least) showed up. even other sorcerors had shown up to pay their respects to the late, but seemingly great, l/n y/n.
everyone was given time up. everyone, except satoru it seems. everyone, except y/n’s own boyfriend. one of the only people in the world that gave two fucks about him.
satoru’s fingers clutched at the black fabric of his uniform, his signature glasses traded for a black blindfold that blocked out all the light. it blocked out the thing that only y/n could have. bright light.
y/n was the light. y/n was the brightest sunshine. y/n made gojo, the world, shine and become complete. and now his sun was gone.
tears dropped from satoru’s eyes, rolling down his cheeks. they peaked from under his blindfold until they fell off onto the grass or rolled down his neck. he was tired of kneeling. he was tired of sitting on the grass in front of his boyfriend’s grave, waiting for the day when he could join him.
”why did you leave me?” he asked, his throat choking in fear and annoyance as he berated y/n once more. wasn’t this one of the stages of grief? satoru never paid attention when the teachers when on about that stuff in lessons. he never thought he would have to know it. even then, the words somehow floated to the front of his mind. anger. he was angry. he was angry with himself for not going to help sooner, he was angry at the higher ups for not understanding the situation they set y/n up in, and he was angry at y/n.
why was he angry at the man he loved?
it was pointless to be angry with him. no good would come from it. “i’m sorry.” he whispered, tears pooling as he let his throat relax. “i’m so sorry. i failed you.” his speech turned from words to mumbles until they became weak cries, satoru’s head falling into his hands.
how many times had he cried this week? how much had he lost of himself waiting for an answer from someone in power? someone above him? why was he hurting so badly? when would it ever stop?
he just wanted his boyfriend. satoru wanted nothing else but his boyfriend. nothing more, nothing less. he would give the entire world for this wish, giving up being the strongest just for one more day, no one more hour, no minute, no second with the man he loved. he would give it all for the man he loved.
not loved. loves.
he loves y/n. he will always love him.
picking his head up, satoru wiped his tears. he sniffled once more, then imagined y/n wiping his tears as he stood up, confidence and anger radiating off of his body. he wasn’t going to cry anymore.
“i’ll make it worth it for you, y/n. i’ll make it worth it for you.”
was this the end?
satoru’s body hurt. what was left of it, at least.
how much longer did he have before he faded away? minutes? seconds?
he wasn’t ready to go. all the students he had left to teach, all of the things he had to do. he couldn’t leave yuji, nobara, inumaki, maki, panda, and megumi. god, he couldn’t leave megumi. how was he supposed to make sure that jujutsu sorcerers continued to be strong?
his eyes glossed over, blinking once, then twice as he looked at the sky. the sun was so beautiful. there was a beautiful glow, and he was brought back to high school. this must have been what y/n was talking about all those years ago when he died. the most beautiful glow filled the sky as his chest began to ache less, y/n’s face appearing in front of him.
“i told you not to join me so fast.” y/n said, his face clear from bruises and pain. satoru tried to speak, y/n shushing him. “come on, we’re together again at last.” y/n stuck out his hand, satoru reaching up to grip the skin. he could feel the skin. slowly, his body was lifted from pain and the blood and cuts taken as he was finally in y/n’s arms again. tears pooled in satoru’s eyes, feeling incomplete until y/n held him tightly. “i got you, love. it’ll hurt for a while, but i’ve got you.”
with a sigh, satoru nodded, kissing the man’s lips gently. god, he missed the feeling so much. his broken heart was finally put back together, a smile on his lips.
i needed someone who understood me like you. no more, no less.
“fushiguro, are you sure this is were gojo-sensei is?” itadori asked, fushiguro holding a bouquet of white flowers to place on the teachers grave.
“i’m sure.” he said, sitting down in front of a pair of graves, placing the flowers down. the rest of the first years followed suit, itadori looking up to read the names and inscriptions.
l/n y/n, 12/24/2006
gojo satoru, 12/24/2018
together forever.
i just want you to know who i am i just want you to know who i am i just want you to know who i am
the man satoru is... 3482 words
#✰jjk#✰satoru#✰sunflw3rbouquet#div cr roseraris#jjk ff#jjk x male reader#jjk fanfic#jjk angst#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen ff#gojo x reader#gojo ff#gojo x male reader#satoru x reader#satoru x male reader#satoru ff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x male reader
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The Day The Music Died
summary: some people have to grow up before their time. At 17, you're already juggling a career, school, and a toxic secret. It's a heavy load for anyone, but for you, it's life.
warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, heavy themes; allusions to sexual assault/prostitution, drugs and alcohol, bullying
a/n: very loosely based off this request. it's a heavy one so please don't read if any of the warnings may make you uncomfortable
word count: 1.1k
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School.
Them.
Training.
Homework.
Match day.
Recovery.
Homework.
Him.
You were tired. So so tired. But that’s what happens when you spread yourself too thin. And because it was your own fault you couldn’t complain. No one was forcing you to do this.
Football was already enough. At only 17 you were a starter for both club and country. So what was the point in school and exams and qualifications? The point is that nothing is permanent. Ever. No matter what anyone says, permanence isn’t certain. You have to have other avenues. Just in case.
Despite it all, you need the distraction. Football from exams and exams from, everything else.
The light in the attic bedroom is on when you get home. You cut the engine of your car, lean back against the headrest and sigh into the night. You helped your team get to a cup final tonight, you should be happy.
But the light in the attic bedroom is making you nervous.
-
“How is your revision prep going?”
You pull the sleeves of your thermals down over your hands when the wind picks up. Lia does the same. You think you’d both be used to the weather by now.
Your scoff travels in the breeze, “I’m up to my eyeballs in cue cards”
Lia offers a sympathetic smile. “I hear you,” she replies, her voice carrying a hint of understanding. “It’s tough juggling everything, but you’re doing great. Sleeping okay?”
No.
“Never better”. Her eyes narrow at you. It was a trick question, you realise. She can’t have missed the dark circles under your eyes. The consistent yawns you try to hide. “I’m fine, I promise”
-
Your skin itches. It always does after. That dirty feeling of shame and embarrassment. When belts are buckled and knees are tucked under chins.
Voices are muffled through the door. Not quite loud enough to hear what’s being said, but you can guess. Same time next week.
You kick yourself for growing up.
You fall asleep in the attic.
-
“You missed a pen yesterday”
You freeze as you step out of the cubicle. Your path to the sinks blocked by three of your least favourite people.
“Things happen” you mutter, your eyes fixed on the cracked tiles beneath your feet, unwilling to meet their eyes.
But the trio only laughs in your face, their cackling echoing cruelly in the cramped confines of the toilet. Layers of makeup crack under the force of their mirth, revealing the hollow emptiness beneath. The stench of cigarettes on their breath makes your stomach churn. You need to get to chemistry.
One of them steps forward, their gaze cold and calculating. “Should get fucking dropped,” they sneer, their words like a slap to the face.
Another one joins in. “And to think you play for our country? Pathetic,” they jeer, their words like a dagger aimed straight at your heart.
You feel the sting of tears threatening to spill over, but you refuse to let them see your pain. With a shaky breath, you push past them, their laughter following you like a sinister shadow. Chemistry. English. Training.
You hoped the attic stayed dark tonight.
-
“What’s all this?” You ask, eyes wide as you enter the changing rooms.
Banners and balloons adorn the walls, and your teammates gather around with smiles on their faces. Lia steps forward, a small cake in her hands, and presents it to you with a warm smile.
“What’s all this?” you ask, your voice barely discernible over the cheers and party poppers.
Lia’s smile widens, and she gestures to the decorations around the room. “It’s for you,” she says, her tone gentle yet filled with genuine affection. “Happy birthday”
You feel a lump form in your throat as you take in the scene before you. Despite everything, despite the challenges you face both on and off the field, your teammates have gone out of their way to make your birthday special. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over as you realise just how much this means to you.
“Thank you,” you manage to choke out, your voice thick with emotion. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
Lia steps forward and pulls you into a tight hug, her warmth enveloping you like a comforting embrace. “You don’t have to say anything,” she whispers, her words a soothing balm to your already shattered soul.
-
“You did good tonight”
Your brother's words are slurred as he enters the room and slumps into the chair in the corner.
“Thanks,” you mutter, your eyes fixed on the floor as you try to make yourself as small as possible.
But your brother doesn’t seem to notice, or perhaps he doesn’t care. He leans back in the chair, his movements clumsy and uncoordinated, and takes a swig from the bottle in his hand.
“You did good tonight,” he repeats, his words slurred and disjointed, his gaze unfocused as he stares off into the distance.
“There’s almost enough money,” he mutters, his speech slurred and disjointed. “I’m getting somewhere.”
You try to block out his words, to retreat into the safety of your own thoughts, but his voice is like a relentless tide, crashing against the walls of your mind with relentless force. You know better than to believe his lies, to put any stock in his hollow promises of success and prosperity. And yet, here you are, forced to listen to his drug-fueled delusions once again.
“I’m telling you,” he continues, his words becoming increasingly animated as he gestures wildly with his hands. “Once I make this deal, we’ll be set for life. No more worries, no more struggles. Just endless riches and success”
You take a deep breath, trying to push down the rising tide of frustration that threatens to overwhelm you. “You know, I could help you,” you offer tentatively, your voice laced with desperation. “I earn enough for both of us. Whatever you need, I can cover it”
But instead of gratitude, your brother’s eyes narrow, suspicion clouding his features. “What, you think I need your charity?” he snaps, his voice tinged with bitterness. “You think I can’t take care of myself?”
You recoil at the venom in his tone, the hurt evident in his words cutting you to the core. “No, I just…” you falter, struggling to find the right words to explain yourself.
But your brother cuts you off with a dismissive wave of his hand, his attention already drifting elsewhere. “Forget it,” he mutters, his voice growing distant as he sinks deeper into his drug-induced haze.
Happy birthday to you.
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draft 04; dostoevsky, f.
↪︎ fluff, fedya having a soft spot for his lover, reader is sick, gn reader, written with a fem reader in mind tho, references to irl dostoevsky’s life, surprise angst at the end, mentions of death.
↝ summary: when you become ill and are unable to fall asleep, he reads to you. the action feeling both familiar and distant to him.

You sneeze. Four times, actually.
You getting sick was highly inconvenient for Fyodor, as it prevented you from fulfilling your duties as a member of the Rats in the House of the Dead. He had to disregard plans and work his way around being down not only a member, but also the best assassin in the organization. Not to mention how it not only affected his organization, but also the Decay of Angels.
As annoyed as he was with the whole situation, seeing you in such a miserable state didn't bring him any kind of joy. On the contrary, he felt his heart hurt when he saw your teary eyes and heard your hoarse voice. Not that he would ever let you know that.
He stands up from his office set up and heads to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He can't concentrate, so he decides that he might as well check up on you. That is, of course, because he needs you to get better so you can get back to work immediately, and not because he heard you cough a little too much and a little too hard.
He places the glass on the bedside table. He hears you thank him weakly. "Are you okay?" he asks uninterestedly but scans your face for any kind of discomfort. "Tired..." you sneeze after you answer.
"Then sleep." He hands you a tissue, which you barely muster enough energy to take.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I don't know."
Fyodor sighs and then leaves the room. Your eyes start tearing up again, this time because you want him to stay with you. The whole image is comical: a killer as cold and ruthless as you, crying miserably because their boyfriend wouldn't spend time with them? Even if someone were to see it with their own eyes, it would be hard to believe.
Fyodor returns to the room with a book in hand. The cover torn and creased from the passage of time. It is Fyodor's favorite. Even if he rarely touched it, you knew he held a great fondness for that book in particular.
He lays down in the bed and looks at you expectantly. While your moves are slow, he waits patiently for you to make yourself comfortable against his chest. He opens the book on the first page.
"On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked away slowly..."
His soft voice and regular heartbeat lulled you asleep.

A young dark haired man lies kneeling at the foot of his bed. His head is hung low and his fingers are intertwined. After he finishes his prayer with an "Amen", he gets up and heads for his mother's room.
He enters quietly and finds his father already there, sitting on a chair by his mother's side. Her head turns upon hearing the door opening and a warm yet tired smile makes home on her face.
"Fedyen'ka." Her voice, although strained and tired, sounds happy to see him. "Come here, my angel. Your father and I have something for you."
He is given a book.
On a late night while talking to his mother, he had entrusted her with the knowledge of his passion for literature. Talking about some of the books he had managed to get his hands on, weather by acquaintances of his lending him some, or by the old man in the shoe shop who let him stay a couple of hours after his work ended just so he could read some of the books that he kept in the backroom of his store. That night his mother promised him that for his sixteenth birthday, she would get him a book of his own.
She had never broken a promise, yet there were still two months until his birthday. Fyodor understood at that moment that his mother was probably going to die before that.
A simple "Thank you." is all he could muster.
That night he was unable to sleep. His father went out to tend to some business, so the house would've been completely silent if it weren't for the coughs of his mother.
He gets out of bed, grabbing the book from the wooden dresser next to the door to his room. When he enters his mother's room, the coughing stops.
"Oh, Fedechka, did I wake you up?"
"No, mother." He takes a glass of water from a table nearby and puts it up to her lips. She takes a few sips. "Are you unable to sleep?" She nods.
He leaves the glass back on the table and grabs his book. His mother's gaze follows him as he moves to sit on the chair where her husband usually sat beside her. He opens the book on the first page.
"On an exceptionally hot evening early in July..."
She falls asleep with a smile on her face as she listens to her son's voice.
Two days later, Maria Fedorovna Dostoevsky would pass away.

Fun fact: i spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to understand which Russian pet names and nicknames are most common, just to end up not using any because in my head they’re already speaking Russian.
If you recognize what he's reading, ur hot. Ahhh I'm so in love with fedya, but i’m not sure if i like how this turned out...
— han.
#땡땡! han’s works#fyodor x reader#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader#fyodor headcanons#fyodor fluff#fyodor imagines#fyodor x you#fyodor dostoevsky x you#bsd imagines#bsd fyodor x reader#Fyodor dostoevsky angst#fyodor angst#bsd angst#fyodor x y/n
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👁️👄👁️ mayhaps g!p Donna X fem reader having morning sex. reader is a soft dom and has a praise kink. Reader just sweet talks Donna while she rocks her, then they go make breakfast after they manage to recover from their legs feeling like jelly lol
Yess!!! Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))
What a morning
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem!! Reader
Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI, fluff,
Word count: 4,147
Summary: You didn't want to get out of bed...
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!!I love you all!!!
“Come on, tesoro... Wake up.”
A soft voice interrupted your pleasant slumber.
To be honest, you couldn't know if you woke up from a dream, or were already living on it. You, who already thought that your life would be reduced to taking care of animals and praying to Mother Miranda, were more than satisfied with the turn that fate had for you.
The inclement weather in the region helped you get lost in the forest, and find who would be the love of your life along the way. Donna Beneviento, Lord and lonely woman, also met her own fate due to inclement weather.
At first sullen and distrustful, she didn’t feel comfortable with your presence. You could have died. You could have hallucinated until you fell off the cliff. You didn't, you survived her anger at someone snooping around her territory.
And not happy with having the privilege of continuing to live, love came later. Donna could be many things, but nothing that had anything to do with what people said about her in the village. She was just a woman tormented by her past, by her appearance. She just needed someone like you to make her life less dark, and you, you too.
“Mm, leave me alone...” You said, slapping the air, trying to get rid of her soft touch on your body. “Five minutes…”
"That's what you said ten minutes ago, (Y/N), come on, we have things to do,” Donna whispered, treacherously uncovering you. You groaned in annoyance and shook your head.
“Donna... Come on, come here...” You whispered with your voice still asleep, searching everywhere for the warmth of the body that was hugging you.
She laughed sheepishly, but she shook her head, getting out of bed. Not before giving you a soft kiss on the lips.
You sat on the bed, trying to cover yourself from the cold of that dark room. Well, at least that way you could clear your mind.
“I thought today we could go for a walk in the woods,” she commented, getting rid of her nightgown and combing the black hair that drove you crazy.
“Can I take the bed with me?” You asked jokingly, rubbing your eyes. She laughed again, shaking her head.
You sighed and lay face down, admiring that beauty that took you so long to discover. Sometimes you found it that it wasn't really a dream, hard to believe.
When she turned around, you had to force yourself to contain your laughter. Donna was always so shy, so embarrassed... It was a shame that her body thought for itself, marking a prominent bulge in her underwear, to which you raised your eyebrows and shuffled a little closer to her.
“Oh…. Wow... Wow...” You sighed amused, biting your lip. Yes, some morning passion could be enough to wake you up.
“What?” She asked, oblivious to where your eyes were pointing. When she looked down, and she realized what exactly you were devouring in your thoughts, she cringed in shame, putting her hands in front of her to push that glorious vision away from you. “Oh, I'm, I'm sorry,” she said shyly, her face growing redder.
You laughed, shaking your head, not looking away from her.
“Why are you sorry? I like to see you so... Happy,” you commented with a velvety, sensual and provocative tone. You just hoped she wouldn't run away that time, as was customary when her body did that kind of things, seemingly for no reason.
“Don't... Look so directly at me, it makes me nervous,” Donna protested, looking away and turning around.
You laughed again, getting up from the bed and slowly walking towards the lady to grab her waist.
“I like what I see,” you whispered in her ear, making her cringe at your cheeky whisper. “Hey, Donna… What do you think if we change the walk thing? The woods are so boring...”
She sighed, grabbing the hands that rested on her waist and slowly turning towards you, with a look of suspicion.
“Oh, and… So… Where do you want to go?” She asked, a bit nervous about the kisses you were beginning to place on her neck, smiling against her skin.
“I had thought that maybe... Instead of walking through the woods you could...” You murmured, caressing her skin gently, making her stay completely still on the wooden floor. “You could take a walk… Through my body.”
Donna laughed and turned around, which you took advantage of to kiss her before she could protest or make some kind of absurd excuse.
“(Y/N), you are...” The doll maker whispered, taking a breath after a few hungry and eager kisses, which matched caresses to her bare chest.
“Wonderful? Incredible? The best?” You asked jokingly, hanging onto her neck and walking slowly until Donna collided with the edge of the bed.
“Impatient,” she whispered, pulling on your lower lip, showing you that taking a short walk on your bare skin was a good plan. Her body only emphasized her conformity.
“Mm, maybe I am,” you said, gently pushing Donna so she fell on the bed and you could climb onto her body, moving your hips so you could feel her erection against your skin, something that drove you crazy. “Do you know what you are?” You asked with a hungry smile, as you got rid of your pajama shirt.
“No... I don't know,” she responded, grabbing your hips with her hands, maintaining that constant movement against her body.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” you whispered affectionately in her ear, making her tremble even more. Yes, you were an absolute fan of compliments, especially because of the reaction that those soft and tender words provoked in Donna.
“You make me blush,” she said, amused, joining your kisses, gently caressing your bare chest while you moved your hips slower making her body protest with a moan.
“That's the intention...” You hissed, with a dark, almost perverse tone, slowly kissing her chest, every inch of her skin, making her eye close in pleasure. “Do you want me to tell you more things?”
Donna nodded, holding on to you to keep you steady as her nails scratched your back in arousal. You laughed, standing up, causing another moan from the brunette, who felt the lack of contact like a stream of ice water.
“Then be a good girl and lie down on the bed,” you whispered in her ear, gently pushing her onto the mattress. Donna hesitated, but it was hard for her to turn down the opportunity to love you in such an unexpected way.
It wasn't the first time you caught her off guard. Every corner of the old estate had already been desecrated by your lust.
Crawling comically, she obeyed your request, lying down and watching expectantly as your pants disappeared in one swift movement, causing her dark, anxious gaze to fall on those now exposed parts.
“That's it... You're so good, Donna... You're so, so good...” You whispered, climbing onto her body and continuing with that soft friction, with discreet but noticeable movements of your hips.
She smiled, caressing your cheek as you kissed her neck, her chest, her shoulders... It was not something improvised on your part, it was intentional. You wanted to see her burn with desire, beg you to be closer to her, to have your hands playing with what her underwear was pathetically trying to hide.
“Oh, my love, do you need something?” You asked amused, grabbing one of your breasts, making her gasp at the sight and want to join on that lascivious touch. You pushed her hand away from you, clicking your tongue. “No, no, Donna… I asked you a question.”
She smiled nervously, but she kept your gaze, lowering that impatient hand over your chest, over your belly...
“I need you, (Y/N),” she whispered with a marked accent, her voice hoarse with her own desire, something you hoped to hear, but that wasn't enough for that torture you enjoyed every day.
“You’re so romantic…” You joked, making her shrug and look at you expectantly. “You love me, right?”
Donna nodded, her gaze tender, her hips moving a little faster, relieving the pressure she had between her legs.
“I love you, (Y/N),” she said softly, pulling you into a passionate kiss, something you didn't stop, laughing triumphantly at her serenity despite her nervousness.
It was possible that she was trying to fight against your words of affection. Maybe she was trying not to seem like a victim who gave in easily to your charms. Unfortunately for poor Donna, that was something she had never achieved.
You moved away from her kiss with a sigh that feigned severity, guiding her hand to where she wanted to go a few moments ago, to your breast, grabbing it, playing with your nipple between her soft and skillful fingers. You gasped, but remained calm. No, no, no. You were having control of the situation. Her caresses and kisses couldn't make you give in.
“I love you too, my love... My beautiful Donna,” You whispered, lowering your body so it rubbed against hers. The dance of your hips was accompanied by the wet kisses of your lips, which felt the vibration of her moans from your sweet words.
Her mouth traveled to your neck, to your shoulders, leaving her room to kiss, closing your eyes and enjoying her soft caresses, that romantic touch so far from lust and closer to innocence. But that didn't stop her mouth from biting one of your nipples, from stopping her lips from landing on innocent corners.
You smiled satisfied, moving away to play with the hem of your underwear, which had been getting in your way for a while.
Donna paused for a moment, only to watch your nakedness displayed in front of her. You noticed and played with the garment between your fingers, pouting at Lady Beneviento, who looked at you with curiosity and a bright eye, almost desperate.
“Do you want me to take it off? Do you want that, my love?” You asked in a sweet voice, moving away from her hips so she moaned again from the lack of contact. You discreetly glanced down at where her erection was twitching outside of her own underwear. No, not yet, you still had to play a bit more.
She nodded, frustrated at the lack of contact, bringing a hand to her trembling shaft to compensate the lack of your touch. That made you raise your eyebrows and give her a gentle smack as punishment.
“Donna, don't do that...” You scolded in a childish voice, leaning towards her and staying very, very close to her lips. “Don't be mean, mm?”
She moaned in response, trying to kiss you, which you prevented by pulling away again, causing her to protest with another anxious moan and stronger movements of her hips.
“Please, (Y/N)” she begged, framing your body with her hands, moving them over your skin so the temptation to masturbate would disappear with the softness of your body on top of hers.
You smiled again, caressing her chest, running your hand down her belly, brushing her erection with your fingers, making Donna gasp at your soft touch.
“Tell me, Donna, do you want me to take it off?” You asked with that soft voice again, emphasizing the movement of your hands in your underwear, pretending to lower it but at the last moment, you didn’t do it.
“Yes, please,” she asked in a comically formal way. To be honest, your panties had been bothering you for a long time, so there was no need to prolong that torture.
The garment disappeared down your ankles under her watchful gaze as she released her shaft from its prison, moaning in relief.
You put a hand on her chest so her back collided with the mattress. Your gaze was calm and your caresses were gentle, almost grazing her skin rather than touching it, a sensation she approved with a moan, grabbing your hips to position you in the desired spot, lining up your wet entrance with her trembling shaft, glistening with arousal.
Amused by her haste, you backed away from her, shaking your head and leaning into her ear.
“Who is the impatient one now?” You asked ironically, making her smile nervously, cupping your face in her hands and pulling you to cover yourself again with kisses, to continue that erotic dance of your bodies moving, rubbing skin to skin.
“I want you, (Y/N)...” Donna whispered, in your ear, making your dominant position about to falter, just about to falter.
“You want me,” you repeated amused, kissing her neck again, biting her skin, leaving a small mark, which made her tremble even more.
Your tireless lips moved down her chest, your tongue playing with her nipples, causing her moans to be replaced by gasps of surprise at your skillful movements.
Their hands stopped being so anxious and caressed you in a tender, romantic way, passing through your hair, over your back, brushing with your legs, with your hips, running over your entire body as if they wanted to memorize it, as if they wanted not to touch anything that wasn't your skin.
“You're so soft, so beautiful,” you whispered, rocking your hips, brushing her erection with your body, but only brushing. “Your whole body, your skin, is like a miracle, Donna, you are my miracle.”
Her eye widened and her expression saddened with a melancholy smile. Anything you could say to her was enough to get her excited by your words of affection. Donna was always alone. She never had anyone to tell her the truth of her existence, an almost divine one for you.
“(Y/N),” she moaned into your lips, pulling your face so they crashed into hers again, this time with more passion, with your tongues dancing at the same time as your bodies. The atmosphere had forgotten about the cold, it was only warm, scorching, capable of making you sweat while the desire increased, while it became more and more unbearable.
Her kisses turned you on even more, her hunger, the tremors of her body, the hardness of her shaft rubbing against your crotch. Even if you had wanted to wait a little longer, you wouldn't have been able to, not at all.
“Okay, my love... Here we go...” You said softly, lowering your hand to correctly position her erection at your entrance, playing with the tip on your clit, making you close your eyes in pleasure, just like her.
Donna kicked the mattress at the eternal waiting, at the touch of her penis against your moisture, without actually entering it. You knew she was enjoying it, but you also knew she needed you, a lot.
Little by little you lowered your body, feeling how her shaft slid smoothly inside you. Your arousal made that job easier, and made you shudder.
“Donna, you're so... Big...” You said in a low, lascivious tone, making the blush on her cheeks worsen as your walls hugged her body, stretching little by little. “You are perfect, my love, my body takes you so well…”
“So good...” She repeated when she was completely inside of you and you danced so she could feel you even more. “You, you hug so tightly, (Y/N)... I, I’m feeling you so much...”
“That's because I love you so much, my love, my beautiful Donna... My good Donna,” you said affectionately, moving slowly up and down, letting your body enjoy that intruder, letting your walls continue hugging her while you moaned in a low, sensual tone, one that you knew would make her more and more nervous, more excited.
Your words of comfort only made her moans the complete opposite of yours. Her hips moved as they could under your body, making you feel full, making you feel she was inside of you, making you hers and loving you as only Donna could do.
“My body is made for you, do you see? My body adores you, Donna, I adore you...” You continued saying among moans, letting her hands play with your hips, making your body move the way she wanted, the way she needed.
“I, ti amo...”
You laughed at the loss of control of her language, something that only happened at moments like this, something that only anticipated how close she was to her release. But no, it was still early for that, although your body screamed for you to let your own orgasm out.
“Wait, honey...” You said, pulling out and making her moan in surprise and frustration at the loss of contact. “Come, come here.”
You lay down, taking her place, gently pulling on her hand so her body was on top of yours. Donna didn't protest the lack of her body in yours, surely she was embarrassingly close to her own release, and she didn't want it to be so soon either.
After a few wet kisses, which revealed with gasps the desire and hunger of your lust you opened your legs slightly, making the brunette position herself between them, entering you again with a faster movement, making you moan in surprise.
“Donna...” You sighed with a mischievous smile on your mouth, running your hands along her back, scratching her skin while her thrusts sent huge waves of pleasure to your body. She smiled, but she didn't stop, leaning into your body, a gesture you already knew, and you knew what it meant.
“Oh… My love... Do you want me to hug you?” You asked, to which she nodded moving slower inside of you, making your hips lose that dominant control and move without your permission. She went even deeper and lowered her head to your chest.
You hugged her lovingly while her body adapted to that new position, while your hands played with her hair, while your body took her again, this time faster, revealing her need... And yours.
“Shh, calm down, my love... I'm here with you...” You said while you cradled her body while you kept her so close to you, flattering her, showing that unconditional love, that way of showing those feelings. “Donna, I'm so close...”
She moaned at those words and her hips moved a little faster, in an almost frantic rhythm, synchronized with your moans. Your walls hugged her erection with hunger, with the impatience that your face didn’t show. You let yourself be carried away by pleasure, closing your eyes and hugging her body tightly, letting only her movements take you to the limit, something that didn't take long to happen.
Your back tensed, your nails digging into her skin as your body suffered the spasms of an intense orgasm, one that you released with a moan you were sure would have made a few more cracks in the walls.
“Keep going, keep going, my love, you're doing so well...” You said when Donna stopped to contemplate the pleasure that her body was giving you.
With you now free of pressure, she no longer had to worry, and she resumed her movements in a much more intense way, in the way she knew she couldn't endure for long.
“Can I do it inside? Please,” Donna asked you with an intense moan, with that need forcing her to stop until she heard your response. You smiled, embarrassingly close to a second release.
“Of course, Donna, you've been so good,” you said in a condescending tone, gripping the sheets to hide your second orgasm, one that was revealed when Donna moaned again with one last thrust and her heat was released inside of you.
You clung to her body, not wanting to lose that overwhelming heat, that wet caress that made its way into your body. Donna fell to your chest, hugging it tightly as her seed filled you, while your walls played with that wetness, tightening with a second orgasm.
“It has been...” She sighed, taking a breath, smiling freely and with her bright eye, smiling in a tender, almost innocent way, almost.
“Amazing, like you, Donna,” you said affectionately, letting her leave you and lean better on your heaving chest, letting your fingers tangle in her black hair again.
“You are so flattering,” she murmured, playing with her finger on your chest, intertwining your legs, wet from your actions, from her release and your wetness mixed together. “You tell me some very nice things, (Y/N).”
“Do you like me to tell you?” You asked laughing amused. It was a little fetish of yours, but if it served to make Donna look at you with that face, so be it.
“I like it so bad... I... No one had ever said something like that to me or... Or done something like that to me,” she said with a slightly sadder tone, surely remembering the darkness of her past.
“That doesn't matter anymore, Donna, you are with me now, and I will never stop telling you how much I love you,” you said with a sincere tone, free of lust and any other feeling that wasn’t love. “Should we take a shower?”
The hot water ran down your exhausted bodies. It was a relaxing sensation and at the same time… Hot, very hot.
Donna hugged you from behind, resting her head on your shoulder while you enjoyed that romantic feeling, those arms tenderly embracing you. A shame your head turned to the path of sin when you turned around.
Without giving her time to protest, you launched yourself into her kisses, ones that she accepted willingly, hugging your body, keeping it very close to hers, making it so not even water could extinguish the flame of passion.
It may not have been something so slow and intense, but still, that moment of passion underwater was also worth remembering. It was a more unbridled, faster, more accelerated passion. Your body maintained balance while her arms served as support, feeling her inside of you again, feeling how she took you again, eagerly, without fear, without shame. What a day, and it had just begun.
“I'm so, so tired...” You murmured, leaning on the kitchen counter.
Once dressed, you decided to prepare breakfast. With your body and hers hidden under the fabric of your dresses, there was no longer any room for temptation, well, at least on her part. You just had to imagine her body inside yours like a few moments ago to feel that unbearable heat again.
“Me too, you’ve destroyed me, (Y/N)” Donna said amused, watching how the coffee maker did its work on the fire.
“Well, don't exaggerate,” you joked, running your hands up her back and peeking over her shoulder, stealing a quick, chaste kiss, to which she smiled shyly.
“My legs are shaking, (Y/N),” she commented, amused, moving the coffee maker off the heat and exaggerating her steps. You laughed, shaking your head.
“Me too, and I'm not complaining that much,” you said, putting the cup in front of you so that bitter liquid would clear your mind and divert your desire to sleep.
“You were complaining five minutes ago, tesoro,” she commented, pouring a coffee to herself and blowing out the heat.
“Well, but... I don't know, it was worth it, don't you think?” You asked feigning indifference, leaning next to her and looking at the rickety ceiling.
She nodded, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye, sighing at the same time as you.
“What do you want us to do today?” She asked, diverting the conversation so your lascivious eyes wouldn't attack again. It's not that you didn't want to, your body was simply too tired to repeat... At least at that moment, there was a whole day ahead.
“I thought you wanted to go for a walk,” you joked, nudging her, to which she laughed again, making a funny face.
“I don't think I can walk more than five minutes, (Y/N)... I think, I think we could work on the dolls.”
“What you don't want is for me to attack you again, huh?” You asked mockingly, joking, of course. Joking, right?
“Well, that too,” she teased, gently pinching your chin and kissing your cheek lovingly, pulling away before you could make another move.
“I couldn't even if I wanted to,” you admitted, with a sigh, controlling the trembling of your legs. “Look at my legs, they look like jelly.”
Donna looked at you amused, and she shook her head at that comparison, suddenly putting on a serious face.
“I mention the dolls...” she whispered, thinking about something.
“It's true, where is Angie?” You asked, alarmed by the missing puppet, which should already be bothering you.
“I'm up here, you stupid clings! Whenever you want, you can stop making babies and come here to pay me some attention! You stupid morons!”
“Oh...” You sighed, embarrassed. “Do you think she is angry?”
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Happy white day guys! >.<
Fic written for @poisonf0rest for the fic event! Hope you enjoy it girly!
Word count- 1.5k
Summary- you get a bit too drunk and your lover had to help <33
A/N- apologies if you were expecting smut, I didn't feel like smut would do this justice and I didn't feel like Zayne would do anything if you were drunk, he seems like the kinda guy who would want your explicit consent first. And the reason I chose Zayne was because I felt like he would be the calm to your wild streak :) And one more thing, I don't know how people act when drunk, I wrote some bits in here based off my own experience of my friends and ik that not every drunk person acts the same but I've never drunken alcohol so I wouldn't knowwwwww and js wanted to lyk teehee, lemme stop rambling now.
Content warnings! Cute fluff tbh, mention and use of alcohol but also the mention of assault (Idk if being grabbed by someone random counts as assault but I thought I'd mention it in case it does) I don't think I missed anything but pleaseeee lmk if I did
A lil' bit of love ❤️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a cold October's evening and you had gone out for drinks with Tara at a new club that had opened downtown. You had told Zayne about your plans in advance and he decided to just 'circle around the area' in case something were to happen. He knew you'd be fine, you always were, considering the multiple other situations you had gotten yourself into. Such as the one time you went out with your friends for a walk and found an abandoned shopping cart in the middle of a pathway so you decided to push each other around in it for fun, but…then it fell over and you broke your arm. Needless to say, he wasn't the happiest when you turned up to Akso with your arm in a makeshift sling. But no worries, that was 3 years ago.
The place was warm and quite stuffy too, a stark contrast to the biting cold weather outside. The smell of alcohol and the loud music overwhelming anyone who stepped inside like a thick, suffocating blanket. The lights above the bar were a dim blue in the dark place, just about illuminating everything else. Most of the lights came from the dancefloor not too far away, the flashing lights being an epileptic nightmare. The sleek, black marble countertops had little flecks of gold in them, making it seem a bit more elegant than it really was. And to top it off, the food and alcohol were pretty high quality.
See, the original plan was to go out and have a few cheeky drinks and a bit of fun. But nothing ever goes according to plan, no? You might have liked the taste of a drink too much and wanted more to mindlessly sip on for the sake of drinking something and without realising how much you had drunk, you were, well, drunk. Quite drunk actually. Seems like the alcohol had done it's job.
It was quite late now, about 23:43. You guys had just decided that perhaps it was time to disperse and go back home. Everyone went their separate ways and forgetting your fiancé's words, you decided to stand outside and wait for a cab. The chill in the air rendered you shivering as you hugged your little puffer jacket tighter around yourself. The little red dress/ cropped shirt and flared jeans/ black cocktail dress did little to keep you warm in the frosty display. (You can choose what you're wearing, just wanted to give some inspo!) It kind of reminded you of your lover when he was mad. Ah, Zayne…oh, Zayne! Shit, he's waiting for you!
With a newfound purpose, you turned around to set down the street, only to walk straight into a wall. A wall of muscle and cheap, off-white polyester, actually, Confused, you looked up to find some guy…Ew. You rolled your eyes and turned to walk around him, but not before he opened his mouth to pitch his ideas as to why you should come home with him.
"Hey gorgeous, you look like you need a ride. You can use me if you want."
He drawled with a smirk.
"Nooooo, I'm taken~"
You replied, still quite aware that you had to make a move to get away from this guy as quick as possible. But he didn't quite want you to go.
"Where are you going my pretty princess? I'm not done with you yet."
He spoke in a low voice as he reached out to grab your arm, stopping you from going anywhere.
"Hey, get off me you bastard!"
You exclaimed as you tried to pull your arm away.
"Hey- stop struggling!"
He snapped back, grabbing your other arm to try and drag you with him.
However, before you could even react to the new addition, an icy yet familiar voice sounded from behind you.
"I think the lady told you to leave her alone. I suggest you let go of her before I make you."
While you stood there, unable to tell what was going on behind you, the perpetrator retracted his arms and walked away with an eye-roll, grumbling to himself under his breath like a child throwing a tantrum because they didn't get what they wanted. As he walked away, you watched him silently go back to a group of other guys before they all walked off together. Who knows what else could've happened if Zayne didn't show up on time?
You slowly turned around to look at him, the frown on your face turning upside down at the sight of him. Exclaiming, "Zaynie!" in a bubbly and slightly slurred voice, practically jumping on him with a hug as his hands came up hold your waist and steady you.
"Careful love…let's go home now. I'd assume you'd want to after what just happened."
He murmured softly in your ear as he started to direct you to where his car was parked. He didn't get a chance to even ask you about how the rest of your night went before you went and started your drunken rambling, your exaggerated expressions and slurred speech adding to the amusement. The wind whipped around you, inevitably messing up your neatly set hair and tousling your appearance. A shiver shot through you and he couldn't help but chuckle beside you. He stopped, turning you around by your shoulders to face him.
Murmuring, "Silly girl…", he gently brought his hand up to fix your hair and wonky septum before cupping your face and pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead, smiling against your skin.
Noticing how cold you actually were, he removed his jacket and placed it over your shoulders instead.
"Won't you get cold?"
You asked worriedly, turning to look at him with wide eyes.
"No. Besides, the cold never bothered me anyways."
He replied, a smirk curling up his lip.
~
Once you guys got to his car, he drove you both home, though you were fast asleep like 5 minutes into the drive. When you got there, he parked the car and turned it off but he didn't have the heart to wake you up. So, he picked you up and just carried you in, making sure to take your purse as well. He laid you down on the bed, helping you to remove your shoes and taking a pair of cosy pyjamas from your wardrobe for you to change into.
"You shouldn't sleep in those clothes love. It's uncomfortable."
He murmured lovingly in your ear, gently coaxing you awake.
"Mmh…dun wanna."
You mumbled, quite annoyed at being woken up and snatched from the jaws of delicious sleep.
Turning onto your side in an attempt to run away from being awoken again, you were displeased to find that he was, in fact, not having it, picking up your limp body like a child and forcing you to sit upright.
"Change."
He commanded in a firm voice, dropping the pyjamas in your lap. Rolling your eyes with a groan, you stood up and walked to the bathroom, peeling off your clothes sleepily and changing into your pyjamas, a pair of cotton red and black ones with fluffy hemming/ a pair of silken black pyjamas/ a long/ short cotton blue nightdress. (You can choose what you're wearing again, just wanted to give some inspo! <3)
By the time you came back, he was in his own pyjamas by the bed and was putting some things on your bedside table for when you woke up later such as Advil for hangovers; some water in case you woke up thirsty; and a bin in case you needed to throw up and would be unable to make it to the bathroom in time. You didn't take much notice of it in your drunken, half asleep state, but you'd show him some extra love tomorrow.
You crawled into bed beside him, all tired and just wanting to sleep. He pulled you into his arms lovingly, letting you lay your head against his chest comfortably. You simply allowed yourself to be engulfed by his warmth, his arms encapsulating you and leaving you immobile. But that was no problem for you. Before you drifted off into sleep again, you heard your favourite words grace your ears again.
"Love you…sleep well, my girl."
He whispered softly, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple and leaving you to fall asleep with a smile on your face.
The endddd! <3
@unintentionalseductress
#love and deepspace#fic#zayne#lnds zayne#love and deepspace zayne#zayne x mc#l&ds zayne#zayne x reader#lads#zayne lads#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne li#teehee
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Hey I just wanted to tell you that I really like your stories. Your writing style is incredible and I'm always excited to read stories written by you. :) I hope you have an amazing day and take care of yourself!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! <333
Cold
You traveled with your boy to Germany to watch his next match for Champions and the moment you stepped out of the airport walking towards the cab, you knew Pablo was going to be grumpy about this weather. Pablo Gavi doesn't like the cold!!!
Hot Sevillano in him never gets used to sharp winds, rainy days and let alone such cold weather that it's here.
Bebitoo: did you get into the cab mi amor???
You smiled at how much he cares about every single detail when you travel separately especially when you're on your own. His family happened to be unable to come and so did his sister because of school, so you were his only supporter this time. Pablo always really appreciated you being there to support him during games.
"Mister,um...could I leave after the meeting and be back before dinner???" Pablo asked Xavi who knew really well where the boy wanted to go desperately.
"But no breaking the diet, chaval? Vale??" Xavi asked and Pablo promised thanking him with a big smile and texting you good news. Today was all for the two of you!!!
"And buy her flowers!" Xavi added tapping Pablo's shoulder with smirk while walking away and Pablo blushed nodding his head and taking the note from his coach.
"Amor! Amorrr! Abri!!!" you heard Pablo whining while standing in front of the door outside with the wind hitting his sensitive face. You opened hugging him excitedly happy to finally be together again.
"Are those for me???" you ask with the roses resting in his arms as he nodded with a smile.
"They're so beautiful Pablito! Gracias amor!!" you say taking and smelling them while he was jumping in place.
"Can we talk about them inside!? Porf!" he said and you chuckled letting him in and he immediately sighed in relief taking off his jacket and walking to the living room to grab a thick blanket.
"Are you really that cold???" you chuckle seeing him snuggle dup in the blanket so only his dark orbs were staring back at you. Que fofino!!!
"YES! It's freezing here! Joderrr!" Pablo said and you chuckled offering to make him some warm tea he immediately liked while walking to figure out how to turn on the fireplace.
"Here's some camomile and honey for mi frozen Pablito" you chuckle putting it on the table smiling wide when you saw that he turned on the fire place and made a little cozy fort in front of it.
"Venga aqui conmigo amorcito!!!"he said opening the blanket shortly for yo to join him and then engulfing you both with it as you faced the burning fire.
"Want your tea while it's hot amor???" you said and he nodded as you reached and gave it to him smiling when you saw his little red nose and his blushed cheeks as he got warmer now.
"Te gusta???" you ask and he nodded putting it down and kissing the top of your head while you rested your back against his strong chest enjoying the way having him around feels.
"It's perfect..." he said and you smiled looking up and he was already staring at your lips before leaning down and kissing passionately.
"Hmm..how long do I have you for Pablito?" you ask after you pulled away slowly clearly in awe with each other's feeling of love.
"You have me siempre amorcito..." he said smartly and you blushed nodding your head and leaning up to peck him quickly once more,
"You know what I mean...when do you need to be back???" you ask playing with his hoodie while he combed through your hair making you very sleepy.
"We have time princesa...relax" he said pulling you back and starting to massage your shoulders soothingly as you became even more sleepy thank to his ministrations.
"You're making me sleepy so that I don't make you go for a walk with me..." you chuckle and he nodded kissing the top of your head again.
"I love you amorcito...mucho...but I am NOT going out there in that freezing hell!" he said making you laugh and nod your head while cuddle up closer to him enjoying the warmth yourself.
"It's really not that bad. You are just too hot mi Sevillano" you said and he smirked looking down at your innocent face. You knew well what you were doing to him with this.
"Mala...princesa muy muy mala" he smirked and you chuckled as you both enjoyed cuddles before you fell asleep.
"Amorcito...time to wake up preciosa???" Pablo was slowly shaking your body while kissing you lovingly and you whined nuzzling further into his neck. You were so warm...it was perfect.
"Nooooo...so warm!!!" you said and he chuckled raising your chin to kiss your lips lovingly.
"Now you're the one who wants the warmth huh princesa???" he chuckled and you nodded kissing him back and reaching to touch his fluffy hair.
"I need to go back soon preciosa..." he said and you pouted that it was already time and that you will need to sleep alone tonight...ugh, you hated that!!!
"How am I going to sleep without you Pablitooo?" you said adorably and he couldn't help his smile while kissing your lips again.
"We'll be on face time until you fall asleep, vale?" he asked tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear and you blush nodding and really liked your little routine when he was away from home.
"But who is gonna warm me up when I get back to the hotel???" Pablo said and you smirked pecking his lips a few times which he really much enjoyed right now.
"Hmm Pedri" you said into the kiss making you both burst out in laughter while getting up from the blankets and walking towards the front door.
"I am going to miss you so much..." he said holding you still not able to let go and open that front door. Ugh this was always the hardest!!!
"Hmm me too...nothing matchess your hands around and you night kisses" you say pecking his bottom lip and he smiles nodding his head and kissing your forehead.
"We will see each other tomorrow" you add and he nods but when you tried to move to let him go he wouldn't budge.
"You have to let me go Pablitooo..." you say but he just pulls you closer nuzzling his face into your neck.
"Your'e so warmmmm!!! And it's so cold outside!!!" he said and you chuckle kissing his cheeks, nose, forehead and finally lips. He finally let go putting on his jacket about to leave when something popped into your head.
"Pablo! Wait!!" you say and he turns around smirking when you ran to the bedroom to grab your special blanket giving it to him.
"It's my warming blanket...smells like us" you say with a blush and he nods taking it and kissing you lips lovingly.
"I love you amorcito..." he said and you smile nodding your head kissing him back.
"I love you too" you say opening the door and he whines stepping out as you chuckled.
"Bye preciosa..." he said pouting and you send him a kiss.
"bye pablitoo.." you say as he got into the cab and you closed the door already missing him but excited to see him again tomorrow <333
#gavigif#gavi#fc barça#fc barcelona#fc barca#pablo gavi x you#pablo gavi x y/n#pablo gavi x reader#pablo gavi icons#pablo gavi#gavi x vini#gavi x yn#gavi x you#gavi x reader#pablo gavira#pablo martín páez gavira#pablogavixreadersmut#pablogavixreaderfluff#pablogavira
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Guilt and Grudges, 2: Darkness



Another one out, hope you guys like it so far! I don't really know what to write on these intros anymore, since not much is happening. I'm getting ready for exams, I'm working, and I'm writing. That's about it. I almost forgot to post this chapter tonight because of it, lol. Anyways, enjoy! <3
I try not to breathe loudly, but this is intense. Was it always so hard to get to the top? We walk up a couple of stairs and take a turn. In front of us is a large dark figure, and I look up to meet Josh.
“Hey man, what’s up?”
He smiles, giving Sam a nudge on the shoulder to greet her. I see a faint blush on her cheek, but I can’t determine if it’s caused by him or the cold.
“Not much, waiting for you of course”
“Man, I feel like this mountain gets bigger every time I climb it” Chris exclims, a loud sigh forced out when talking another step.
“Really? Feels the same to me”
“Oh come on, you grew up here, it probably feels like it’s shrinking”
“I guess that’s true”
I interrupt them both, cold and tired, wanting to get to the lodge as fast as possible.
“Hey Josh, nice to see you, BUT how about we keep moving?”
“Well, can’t keep the ladies waiting, can we Cochise?”
“We cannot”
I meet Sam’s eyes, and she’s also tired, not as bad as me, but still. She grabs my hand and starts dragging me up as I whine. “Sam, I was joking, we can make some snow angels or something. Just lay down, romantically, looking up at the stars…”
“It’s clouded”
“That’s the only reason why we’re not doing it?”
She laughs, and I pull myself together. It isn’t long now. Despite the cold weather, snow, wind, heavy bags and ice, I finally glimpse the dark pine planks of the lodge.
“When are you gonna install some cell towers up here? I’m getting withdrawals already” Chris asks, and I hurry to the stairs, sitting down and relaxing. Sam stands over me, breathing heavily as well. Were we really that out of shape?
“You got a spare million lying around, I’ll fix you right up” Josh empties his pockets, showing the lack. Chris starts fumbling around with his blue jacket, feeling himself up. I want to do that.
“Funny you should say that, I think I left it in my other jacket”
They start walking towards us, probably about to open the door. Finally. Josh scurries up the stairs, flickering with a couple of keys. Chris follows through, his hand brushing lightly against the hood of my jacket. Fucking hell. How am I supposed to survive this if every little touch makes me heat up like this? It’s fucking embarrasing. Luckily, no one seems to notice, not even Sam.
“Yo, yo, yo, are we getting things moving up here or what?”
“Yeah man”
I lift my head to Sam, and we share a look. This “boy-talk” is already drilling a hole in my head. I think she hates it even more than I do, her eyes rolling so far back her head that I can’t see her irises. A smile finds its way to my lips. If Josh and her got together, she would smack him every time he said something weird, I just know it. And Josh’s reply? Definitely something like “yes ma’am” or “as you wish”. There’s no secret that he’s down bad for her.
“Lead the way, Cochise”
I hear them moving down the stairs, each thump vibrating through my body.
“What’s going on?” I ask Sam, who’s looking up at them attentively, following every move.
“Frozen lock, I think”
They both get down, Josh continuing around the lodge. Chris, however, stops in front of me, mouth opening then closing, as if trying to say something. This leads to Sam taking a step back, giving me a thumbs up from behind him. I give a hard stare in reply. She can’t be that obvious around him.
He’s smiling, that sweet smile that he always does when happy. I look up in awe, hoping to control my eyes a bit. He lifts his head, finally speaking.
“So, how’re you doing?”
“Hmm, good now. Surprised by how out of shape I’ve gotten” I laugh, a bit embarrassed by myself. Ugh, if he could just hoist me over his shoulders right now I would never speak ill of the guys again. And that’s a challenge.
“Well, it is right after the exams. Are you freezing?”
“Yeah a little” I think about the fire inside. Sitting in front of it, warming ourselves. There are other ways to do that too though. Jesus Christ I’m letting my mind wander again. “I think I could use some time curled up by the fire” I continue, looking at him intently. I can imagine the yellowly lights gracing his face, his skin. I almost feel disgusted by myself for being so forward about it, I really don’t mean to.
His smile falls a bit, mouth still open as he takes a deep breath. I can see him swallow, and a sinking feeling embraces me. Oh no, I’ve been caught, he knows, and this is not the right time, not after everything that’s happened. I’m definitely stupid.
“Yeah… that does sound pretty nice”
His voice is different, breathy and serious. He keeps eye contact, holding intently as if trying to say something else, trying to get me to understand something. I don’t know what.
“Christopher Hartley! I’ll have to call your mother and complain if you don’t get your ass here immediately!” Josh shouts from the other side. I give him a weak smile, arm raising in a small wave as he makes his way over. His absence is already noted on my body. I already miss him.
Not seeing him in almost a year, to spend an eternity with going up the mountain, then just leaving? I’m being dramatic, I know that. But he feels like a drug, the small dose getting more and more wanting. My cravings are growing by the second. We left off at a terrible time, starting something that wouldn’t even make it an hour. And the circumstances make it even more difficult. How can we start up again without feeling guilty for the things that happened? Without being reminded by them. If we were downstairs, we could’ve stopped them. Or we could’ve reached Hannah or Beth. I wish we had.
“I’ve seen a lot of foreplay in my days, but what the hell was that?” A familiar voice sounds beside me. I look up, meeting Matt and Ashley.
“Way to greet me Matty”
“I mean, come on. The tension is obviously there, do something about it”
“Leave her alone Matt, they were both thinking about fucking each other by the fire” Ashley chimes in, a playful smirk on her lips. I look at the both of them, shocked by the incredibly rude greeting.
“You haven’t even said hello”
“I saw you four days ago” she defends, arms in the air and taking a step backwards.
“I’m sorry, hello, anyways-”
“Nope” I stop him, finger put up in the air. I stand up, walking to the other side of the lodge. No way I was gonna be teased this way. I mean, what if Chris suddenly opened the door behind us? That’d make for an awkward situation. I hear one last thing before I turn the corner.
“She’s embarrassed we’re right”
Assholes. I’m not that obvious, at least I try not to be. Ashley knows because I’ve told her, and so does Sam, who also told Josh last year. Now Matt also knows, though I don’t know how. I would’ve answered the same thing if someone else asked, maybe in a different tone, but still the same.
“Alright, alright, I got it. Jeez”
“You’ve got what?” I ask, surprising him from behind. He mumbles, cheeks getting flushed and not meeting my gaze. He looks everywhere but me.
“He’s got a plan!” Josh shouts, hand waving, signalling for us to follow. I walk beside Chris, sensing his nervousness and wondering what’s got him so worked up.
“What kind of plan?”
“A secret one”
I laugh, the silliness of it being a bit unnerving. Still, I’m intrigued, wanting to know more.
“Can I be part of it?”
“Oh, trust me, I believe you will”
“Great, can’t wait”
Josh laughs, and I smile, unknowing of what I’ve joined in on. Chris is still silent, swallowing hard and looking out in the forest.
“So, how’re we planning on breaking into my parents lodge?”
“We’re breaking in?”
Chris finally chimes in, letting me hear his voice and see his face. “It’s NOT technically breaking in if you own the place”
“We’ve already had this conversation” Josh sighs, turning around and walking backwards.
“How’re we getting in?” I ask, retraveling back to the original question. If the door doesn’t work, maybe a window or another backdoor will.
“Well, I didn’t say I had a plan on how to do it”
“You sounded like you had a plan” Josh throws out his hands in despair, head to the sky as he sighs dramatically. “You better deliver, or else you got five lovely ladies who are gonna be freezing their buns off, and last time I checked, that’s not a good way to get laid”
Chris tenses up again, giving a low huff in response. I laugh, Josh teasing him is hilarious.
“Wouldn’t want to spoil Josh’s plans with Sam” I whisper to him, just loud enough to make Josh hear. Chris’s lips move up in a smile.
“Hey, I’ve got A LOT of plans for you this weekend, just so you know. So don’t get too surprised”
“Bet Sam will be surprised”
“Oh, shut up guys”
We get to the side of the house, waiting for someone to form an idea. I look around. An empty fire-axe display, a couple of windows and a power box. Chris moves to the power box, and Josh follows.
“We’ve got ourselves a thinker, nice on”
They place themselves on either side of the box, one pulling and one pushing. I run over to help, suddenly aware that I’m not doing anything. A few grunts and pushes, and the box is right under the window. I breathe out. Almost wish I hadn’t helped them, that was hard.
Chris wastes no time, and jumps on top, slightly grunting as he does. Josh signals for me to follow, and I nod. He gives me his hand, and I take it, letting him help me up on the slippery box. A loud thud is heard, followed by whining.
“I’m okay!”
I help Josh up, and we move over to look in through the window. Chris is laid flat on his back, eyes pinched closed and arms spread. I give a small laugh. He’s adorable.
“Should’ve paid more attention in climbing class”
Josh and I immediately share a look, both of us furrowing our brows and wrinkle our noses. We look back, and he has already begun lifting himself up.
“You mean gym?”
“Yeah, you know, with the climb up the rope-”
A loud shatter interrupts him, and the room goes dark. I look around, seeing the light bulb has exploded. I lean in a bit, wanting to see him better.
“Woah”
“Did I do that?”
“I don’t… I don’t think so”
Josh fumbles with his jacket, hands going in every pocket before he finds what he’s looking for. A lighter. “Here, use this” he shouts, throwing it at Chris. He catches it with ease, lighting the small fire. The room lights up again, and everything gets more visible by the yellow flames. Oh, and his face, the way the light and shadows work together…
“Woah, Chris, I just got an awesome idea”
“Yeah?”
“Totally”
“Well, what is it?”
“Okay. So, I’m pretty sure that I’ve got some deodorant in one of the bathrooms, you could use that with the lighter” I look up at him weirdly before asking.
“How is a stick of deodorant gonna help?”
“Same question!” Chris exclaims, pointing to me.
“Spray-on, it’s a can”
“Ohh, yeah, now I gotcha”
“I still don't follow” I add, waiting for someone to explain.
“Flamethrower!”
“Just like we did with the little army dudes!”
“Yup, the ones we melted”
“You guys are madmen” I butt in, gaze going to and from them both as they talk.
“Didn’t you ruin a couple of toys with fire?” Chris asks.
“No?”
“Did you even have a childhood?” Josh jokes, pushing my arm.
I shake my head in response, letting them figure it out. If this was the way to get the door open, then let it be.
“Anyway, lock!”
“Yeah, flamethrower on the lock. On it!” Chris salutes, and Josh does the same back.
“Godspeed pilgrim!”
Chris turns around, and Josh and I jump off the powerbox, careful not to slip on the ice. I take his offered hand, my other one placed on the box as I carefully lower myself. He’s already on his way somewhere.
“Hey, Josh…”
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted to check on you, I know this year has been hard”
He puts his finger up, urging me to stop talking.
“I truly appreciate that you all came back this year, I know it must feel weird. But you guys are some of my closest friends, and I don’t want to lose that”
I nod, smiling a little his way.
“Well, okay. Just know that we’re here here for you, anytime”
He smiles, the atmosphere feeling lighter and lifted.
“Thank you, you should have a grown-up talk with Chris too”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean”
I cross my arms on my chest, unsure about how to approach the subject.
“Josh, I want to, but it all feels a bit…”
“Icky, weird, disgusting?”
“No, absolutely not. Maybe a bit disrespectful?”
“To who?”
“Your sisters”
The air around us gets heavy again, and I beat myself up for not thinking before answering. He slowly nods his head, as if understanding something he didn’t before.
“Okay, listen. They don’t mind”
“It’s not that. Everything started last year?”
“Something happened between you last year?”
“Right when the prank happened, we were in the upstairs bathroom…”
“Shit”
“Yeah”
“Fucking hell. And no one else knows?”
“No, and as soon as we heard commotion downstairs, we ran to see what was happening”
I try to explain, but everything sounds so vague and bad considering the circumstances.
“Hey, I get it, bad start. I appreciate both you and Chris, for everything you did, also that night, but don’t let that stand in the way. If you need my blessing, you’ve got it. You both deserve each other, and last year didn’t doom you as it did others”
I look up at him, trying to read his expression. But there’s something different there. He looks different, like another person. His eyes are empty and blind, the darkness clearly visible. Maybe this is not a good thing to talk about.
“Thank you Josh, but I think we both need to be on the same wavelength about this, especially after not having contact for a whole year”
He nods, and is about to turn around again when he puts his hand up, dramatically spinning around back, a finger pointed right towards me. I look at him surprised.
“You know, I don’t think Chris will find that can on his own”
“What? Yes he will, he’s a smart man”
“I mean, academically, yes, but give that man a location and he might go an entire different way”
I give him a sceptical stare, and he gives himself away as I catch a glimpse of his playful smirk. Was everyone on this mountain going to tease me?
“None of you guys are funny, I left the others because I thought there was a chance I wouldn’t get teased here”
“Oh, you’re no fun. You just need to shoot your shot”
“Absolutely not!”
“God knows the only way Chris will do it, is if you put a gun to his head”
“He might not even then” I add, the thought sinking in. If it really mattered, he would’ve done so already. Whatever these feelings are, they’ll pass.
“Oh, I guess we’ll see. But you still need to go inside”
A loud shriek is heard, something which definitely came from Chris. I look at Josh, and he just shrugs. Rolling my eyes, he helps me up on the power box, and I carefully make my way in.
“Josh, it’s super creepy down here!”
“Got your phone?”
I reach into my pocket, grabbing my phone and turning on the flashlight. The cellar lights up, full of dusk and boxes.
“Um, still creepy Josh!”
There’s silence, too much. He doesn’t answer, and I try his name again, but to no avail. Shit. I would definitely struggle to climb back out, so the only option left is to find Chris or the entrance. It’s been a year, and I don’t remember everything. I walk further in, deciding to ignore every dark corner and room. The door to the hallway is open, and I quickly make my way, immediately feeling the familiarity with the dark wood and wall decorations. It’s like nothing’s changed. Except the atmosphere, and dust, and that sinking feeling that something bad will happen. I walk to the end of the hall, noticing the family portrait at the end. Beth and Hannah look so alive, the brush strokes bringing out their colour and vibrancy. I miss them, both of them.
A loud noise bursts my bubble, making me look to my left to see the previously open door being slammed shut. My breath hitches, body tensing as I grab the doorknob. It’s locked. It probably has an automatic lock on the other side, and the wind made the door shut. There are most likely other windows open that made this happen. I breathe out, clutching my phone harder from being frightened. I just need to find Chris. That’s the only reason I'm here in the first place.
I take a right, walking further into the building to see a door creeping open right in front of me. I wait for Chris to go through, but he doesn’t come. The door is left open, the creaking noise burrowed in my brain. This is fucked up, wasn’t it closed? I thread forward carefully, each step taken with great caution as I make my way. I look through the door, seeing the familiar sight of the lodge’s hallway and main room. Thank God.
I walk to the door and look through the windows. Sam and Ashley are standing there, waiting for it to be opened. I knock, and they both jump at the sudden sound.
“Just me, didn’t mean to scare you!”
“Good, Chris already tried” Sam complains, trying to look back through the frost-covered glass.
“Yeah, I can’t see him”
I feel something behind me, something big and dark casting a shadow on the door. Soft yellow light approaching and a small creek right behind me. My body, which is already tense, gets stiffer, and I try the door handle to no avail.
Two large arms go around me. One on my waist and one around my neck. I scream before my mouth is covered with a massive hand, pressing down on my lips.
“Shit, it’s just me, just jokes” Chris smiles, letting go of me. My heart is beating out of my chest, pulse skyrocketing and breathing uneven.
“That’s one too many for today” I state, and he gives a small laugh.
“Sorry, couldn’t help myself”
He comes closer, arms closing around me in a gentle manner. The touch is soft, and too short as he leans away, lifting my face to look up at him. I’m calm now, the adrenaline rush lowering and my senses coming back.
“I swear to God, if you scare me one more time during this trip-”
“You’re such a scaredy-cat”
“That’s the point!”
I hear snickers outside as we keep bickering, and roll my eyes. Didn’t these people have other things to do than listen to us? I look down, seeing the spray in one of his hands. Oh, that’s right, they don’t.
“Let’s get this thing open” I wave to the lock, and he gives a smile, hand pushing me out of the way. He puts the lighter in front of the spray, and I take another step back, just for safety measures. He sprays, the flames being big and ashy as they go against the metal lock. I look over, making sure that he stays within the secluded area, and doesn't set the wood on fire. Luckily, he seems to have full control.
Finally, it seems enough, and before I can stop him, he’s quick to grab hold of the handle and open the door. The others thank him, while I notice the shaking and clutching of his left hand.
“Thank you, thank you” he bows. “I’ll be here all week”
A loud noise and fast-traveling animal runs out beside us, and I hold my breath, standing still as it passes. Chris yelps, jumping back while the other’s make way for it, letting it run back into the forest.
“Crap, that thing freaked me out” Chris breathes out, his hand on my arm. Poor thing.
“What was that?” Ashley asks, still laughing a bit.
“It was like, a bear or a tiger or… something”
“Awe, it was just a cute little baby wolverine” Sam taunts, walking past him and clapping his shoulder. The response makes me giggle, and he pulls his hand back, having both of them in the air and waiting for some consolation.
“Baby?”
“Don’t worry buddy, you’re gonna be a big boy soon” Josh adds, walking past him with Ashley and Matt. I give him a nudge, and we follow them into the main room of the lodge.
“Home sweet home” Josh exclaims, hands outreached to the dark space.
“Sweet is not the word I’d use” Matt whispers, and I agree. It’s dark, weird and feels too eerie for me. It’s like we’re in a horror game. Ashley rubs her arms, trying to stay warm.
“Oh my gosh, it’s so good to be inside, even though it’s still freezing”
“I’ll get a fire going” Josh walks over to the fireplace, placing down some logs and setting up.
“This place barely looks any different” Matt comes up beside me, looking over all the furniture.
“My thoughts exactly” I tell him, meeting his eyes. There’s some kind of worry in them. I bet he still feels bad. No wonder, no one should really feel good being up here. Not after what happened.
“What’s up, party people!”
“Hey!”
Mike and Jessica make their entrance, both psyched to get the action going. Most of us greet them back, but I notice that Matt doesn’t. He looks at Mike with contempt, something dark brewing. That’s what we all need now, some drama. I walk over to Ashley, sitting beside her on the sofa. Don’t want to be in the fire-zone when the shooting starts.
“Make yourself at home, bro” Josh tells Mike, still fumbling with the fire.
“Will do”
“Yeah, come on in”
Shit, now it starts. I give Ashley a look, and she leans in to whisper something to me. I listen while the drama unfolds in front of me.
“I was by one of the telescopes earlier, and saw Mike and Emily exchange quite an ‘intimate’ hug. Matt wanted to see, and I was unsure about what to do, but he just looked anyway. I think it really hit a nerve”
“No wonder” I whisper back. “Wouldn’t you be pissed if you saw your partner do that with an ex. The ex right before you. Who, you have A LOT of history with?”
“Well, yeah, of course”
Things seemed to have cooled off a bit between the two, Mike with both of his hands up in surrender and Matt taking a step back. Mike walks over to Jess, arm going to the back of the sofa, behind her. She nuzzles into him, and I can already sense Emily’s anger before she wanders into the lodge scoffing. This was going to be a long retreat.
“Oh my god, that is so gross. Are you trying to swallow his face whole?” she walks towards them slowly, stopping a couple of meters away, arms crossed over her chest. Not more drama. Matt takes a step towards her, hand reaching a little out for her.
“Em…”
I can imagine how he feels, seeing his girlfriend and ex like that, and then seeing his girlfriend get jealous. Still, he isn’t aggravated anymore, just trying to calm her with small steps. She doesn’t budge, but keeps looking at the couple with disgust.
“Seriously, can she be any more obvious?”
Jess snuggles further into Mike, taunting her and showing him off. I can already see that Mike’s getting uncomfortable, knowing something is about to blow up. Emily leans a bit down, as if talking to a toddler, staring Jess down.
“No one wants in on your territory, honey”
“Excuse me, did you say something?”
Jess now rises, walking up to her. The tension in the room strengthens, and I look over to the others, but everyone is fixated on the next move, sucking in the drama like sweet nectar. I sigh, feeling Ashley’s hand on mine, uncomfortably shifting as she watches. This’ll go nowhere, the bickering and bitching. If someone doesn’t stop them, they’ll keep going, maybe even get physical.
“Hey, watch it!”
“Oh, you’re the only one who can put him down? No one else gets to play with your toys?”
I lean over to Ashley, whose eyes are still glued to the fight.
“Is none going to stop them?”
“I wouldn’t dare to put myself in that position”
Josh stands up, shaking the ash off his fingers.
“Stop it! This is not why we came up here, this is not helping. It’s not what I wanted”
Sam stands up as well, taking a few steps and adding to the statement.
“If we can’t get along for ten minutes, maybe we just need a little break?”
Josh looks over at her, an appreciative smile on his lips, then turning back to the others.
“Yes! Mike, why don’t you check out the guest cabin, the one I told you about?”
Mike stands up, hand outstretched for Jess.
“Yeah, want to go do that?”
“Any place without that whore”
“It’s right up the trail” Josh adds as they walk out. Emily finally turns around, noticing our big eyes and awkward faces. Matt imitates an explosion, causing her to roll her eyes. I take a breath, looking over at Chris. His lips are thinned, and he also lets out some air. Jeez, that was a lot for most of us. Hopefully, things get better tomorrow. Matt walks over to Josh, noticing the lacking fire.
“So, should we get this fire going?”
“Yeah, working on it”
“Where’s my bag?” Emily asks, looking over at Matt.
“Huh?”
“My bag… The little one with the pink pattern, the one I got on Rodeo”
Her boyfriend gives her a dumbfounded expression, shrugging his shoulders.
“Matt, are you listening? Matt, I need my bag!”
“Oh my god Em, maybe you just forgot it!”
“Do you seriously think I’d just forget my bag?”
“Well, I-”
“Do you?”
“Guess not”
“You must’ve left it down by the cable car station”
“Ugh”
“Come on, hun. We’ll be back soon”
Matt sighs, walking over to her by the door.
“Then we can get warm?”
“We can get very warm”
He caves, arm outstretched and letting her lead him out. I lean back on the couch, energy drenched. God, why did I come? Ashley leans back, lips against my ear as she whispers.
“See how easy it is for them to say what they want to do to each other instead of OBVIOUSLY thinking loudly?”
I hit her, and she laughs. All the others look over curiously, but I just shake my head to them.
“Okay, I’m gonna go take a bath” Sam exclaims, patting Josh’s shoulder and walking up the stairs.
“Need help?” Ashley asks, already making her way beside her.
“N-” she hits her, looking over at us before agreeing. I roll my eyes as they both walk upstairs.
“What’s that all about?” Chris asks, and I tell him nothing. I can see Josh trying to hide his smile, still unable to get the fire going.
“Shit, forgot to give Mike and Jess the keys” He stands up, and I do the same.
“I’ll sprint over with them”
He walks backwards, looking at both of us while throwing the keys up and down, catching them in his hands every time.
“No, no. You guys are guests, get comfy, have sex, whatever”
“Man” Chris interjects, but he turns around and laughs.
“It’s what everyone else is doing, just follow the herd”
He disappears around the corner, and I sit back down. They finally made things even more awkward between us. The silence is deafening, only broken by a couple of giggles from upstairs.
“I guess we should talk” Chris suddenly says, eyes still on the ground, body leaning forward on his knees. The cold is almost as bad as the sinking feeling in my stomach, but I still nod in reply.
“Let's get a fire going first, it’s icy in here”
“Coming right up” he says with his comedic voice, the tone lightening the mood. We both walk over to the fireplace, setting up the last logs and lighting some matches. I watch his fingers as he does. The fingers tensing a little as he swipes the match to create fire. He leans into the fireplace, and manages to light right on the bark, setting the logs ablaze. I hum at the light, the air around us starting to get a little bit foggy and warmer.
I look up at him, noticing how close his face is. I carefully inch closer, everything in the background blurry as I look into his eyes. They’re wanting, as if needing something, or someone. His mouth is slightly open, and I bite my lip a little in anticipation. Both of our breaths are heavy and uneven, and I can feel it on my chin as he gets closer.
“I gave you five minutes!” Josh exclaims, and we both jump back. We look up, and Josh is standing between us, the girls on the top of the stairs watching intently. I stand up, making my way back to the couch. Chris does the same, pushing a smiling Josh out of the way.
“We were building the fire you so miserably failed at”
“Damn, harsh man”
“Sam, want to help me beat up Chris?” Josh shouts.
“I was just getting into the bath!” Sam responds, shouting down from upstairs. He gets a playful smirk on his lips, hand going to his mouth to carry his words further.
“And, do you need any help with that?!”
“Hardy har”
Chris and I look at each other, before looking at the flirt. He has a slight blush on his face, almost invisible.
“Well, if it isn’t the little Sammy-lover” Chris smiles, leaning cockily back on the couch.
“At least he wishes to be”
“I hate both of you”
“Maybe he’s the one who needs to be left alone for five minutes?”
“Shut up”
He laughs a little, and I smile at the thought of him finally opening up a bit. This was healthy for him, feeling like this. I’m still unsure about the whole lodge-ordeal, but so far, he’s good.
“You know, we have a spirit board here somewhere” He says, side-eyeing us with a sly smirk.
“A what?”
“Wow, you have a spirit board?” Chris asks, leaning forward interested.
“Yeah, yeah, they’re fun right?”
“Absolutely not” I say, shaking my head. After everything that has happened here, I’m not checking for ghosts and demons, that’s the last thing we should be doing.
“Should we have a seance?”
“No”
“Yes”
“They’re a joke, they don’t do shit” I try, but my argument fails.
“I know, but it's still interesting” Chris says.
I look over at him, and he’s looking at me pleadingly. Puppy eyes and a pouty mouth. I try to resist, but my defences fall, and I sigh. They both take it as defeat and cheer.
“But, only if I get Ashley with me”
“She’ll be easy to convince”
“Josh! No hot water, kind of a major oversight don’t you think?” Sam says, coming down the stairs. Ashley walks behind her, coming down to take her place beside me.
“Yeah, yeah, just gotta fire up the boiler, it’s in the basement”
He turns to us, already beginning to leave with Sam.
“You guys see if you can find the spirit board”
“A spirit board?” Ashley asks, and I just sigh. “They forced me to”
“Can’t say no to this handsome face” Chris smiles, getting up to look for the board”
“Come on, let’s go find it, it’ll be like a scavenger hunt” and she drags me up by the arms as I whine. “Fine”
We look for a while. At one point, we lose Chris. He walked into another room, not to be seen again. I try closets and shelves, but cannot find anything.
“Think it’s time to regroup?”
“Yeah”
We walk back to the main room, voices immediately heard.
“Holy crab, you were scared, admit it”
“I was not!”
“Come on, you totally pissed yourself!”
“Josh!”
Up the stairs comes the three guys, Chris wearing a monk-costume. I look him up and down while Ashley’s laughing so hard she almost can’t stand. She has to turn away to calm herself. I smile, walking towards him as he joins his hands in prayer.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
“I’ve found my true calling?” he says, hands making a cross over me.
“You know monks can’t own stuff, or have relationships, or sex?”
He thinks for a bit, looking me up and down with a small smirk. Is he… cocky?
“I guess I need to change profession then”
“Omg, will you take a vow of silence?” Ashley laughs, coming up beside me. He starts talking without sound. And I can’t help the small snicker that escapes my lips.
“Okay, okay, we get it”
He draws forward the spirit board, and I whine again. Why did we have to do this?
“Here’s our one-way ticket to the spirit realm”
Sam is already walking up the stairs, not wanting to take part in the activities. I almost want to join her. A hot bath clearly beats seeking demons. But I don’t, instead, I take off my coat and hang it on a chair before walking over to the others.
“Bold move of you with the sex-comment” Ashley whispers, and I give her a small smile and I rest my head against her shoulder.
“Well, you all have told me to be a bit more forward”
“That’s my girl”
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Ooc: The conversation~~~~
Ft this (feel free to pry into their brains on @deceit-and-doubt or @truth-and-compassion )
(also sorry bird anon you have to third wheel lmao feel free to bully smilk about it)

shadow milk opened the door after taking a deep breath, entering into pure vanilla's bedroom.
Walking in his chest full of anxiety, not letting himself show it on his face but his weak body was definitely crumbling beneath it.
"...hey.."
he spoke softly.. clearly upset and bothered by the potential of a fight.
"hello.." pure vanilla responded, his voice tense, he looked towards shadow milk, standing up from his plush bed, the once usually warm room felt cold and like you could cut the air with a knife.
The weather outside matching the air within the room, stormy and cold like an explosion of thunder or rain had been brewing. He looked at him with a concerned expression but not his usual calm soft concern this one was more of "I am on the brink of having a panic attack"..
"bluebird.. please.. you know why I want to talk." Pure vanilla chokes out, his worry clearly made him ill. He's clenching his stomach which can only be filled with a dark pit of concern.
A sickening dark pit.
"...i.. do.." shadow milk answers, looking away at the ground next to him, his face blushed from the shame and guilt he feels. "Then tell me, what's going on.. please.." pure vanilla pleads. Shadow milk jolts in sudden anger. "WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU! YOU'LL JUST GET MAD AT ME!" he screams.
"because I love you.. I am not going to get angry I merely want answers.." pure vanilla assures, gently reaching up to caress shadow milk's cheek. His eyes leer at him, his main with disdain and anger but the ones within the void of his hair look in worry and sadness, embarassment even.
"Fine.. but I don't know how to word it.. I'm going to trust you with something I never trust anyone with.. if you truly love me, any secret you gather from this should never be brought up again!.." he states a command as he hands over a pile of books from a portal. All diaries. "These are all my diaries from before you arrived at the spire til now. Approximately 3 150 paged ones." He pouts. "Read them.. they have all my dumb secrets and weird emotions.. connect the dots between them and you'll figure out what bothers me. Also why I keep this from you..." Shadow milk admits.
So pure vanilla sits down, picking up diary after diary, turning page after page, word after word, he reads. Every line is dripping with emotion and feeling, hurt, love, happiness, fear, sadness, heartbreak, anger. Thoughts of betrayal, admittance of shyness, as if you looked into him and unraveled him. Every word explained everything. New information pure vanilla didn't know prior about this cookie he loved so.
It ended up being 5 diaries. Some with pages torn out.
"do you.. understand.." shadow milk asked softly, sounding like he's about to cry, he looked humiliated as he watched pure vanilla read his secrets. "I do.. thank you.. I'm sorry you've been so afraid for this long.. I couldn't be that comfort you truly needed.." pure vanilla apologises. "...why are YOU sorry.. I fucked up.. I'm so scared to be alone.." shadow milk cries.
"and you don't have to be.. I'll never leave you.." pure vanilla exclaims, bringing the jester into a hug.
"everything will be alright, blueberry.." he says softly. He feels the clown begin jitter and twitch as he cries into his shoulder. He rubs his hand down his back, up and down, patting it on occasion as he soothes him with a hum.
Soon cradling him in his arms like a child, sat on the bed, the two together. "You mean everything to me, shadow milk cookie.. I adore you and everything you are, I'm so sorry you fear loneliness so much, I know that feeling.. it's crushing. I know I'll never understand how it feels to watch the children you adored grow up and know they'll one day leave you but unfortunately that's life.. just know you improved their lives more than any cookie could ever improve it, you gave them a home and love.. they'll forever be indebted to you, even if they spread their wings and leave the nest.." pure vanilla gently explains. "I know you deny it, but they're your children.. you see yourself as their parent.. I hope you know they'll forever see you as their dad.. "
"and please.. be reminded, there's no need to be so insecure around me.. I love you with all my heart, you shouldn't fear expressing your emotions to me, I understand my statement is rather hypocritical but we're both trying and learning, but we should be learning together not alone.. some tasks can't be done alone." He explains.
"So please.. let's be in this together.. we share a soul, we should be able to understand each other and not hide away.. there's no reason to be afraid anymore...I'm your boyfriend..." He reassures, gently stroking the back of shadow milk's head.
"...so.. you love me..?" Shadow milk asks, seemingly in denial. "Alot, yes.." pure vanilla replies, his voice quiet and sweet.
"...how much exactly..numbers..?" Shadow milk responds, he sounds tired, insecure. "I'm not sure I can even count to it..haha.. it's a rather large number, I'm not sure if it's an existing number.. I might have to make up an entirely new set of numbers.." pure vanilla chuckles. He takes shadow milk off his shoulder, holding him up on his lap. Looking him in the eyes he speaks with love laced words. "I love you bluebird.. I'm sorry for everything you're going through.. especially that scare.. I'm not sure why I even remotely belived it... But.. what if we were to say....start a family..?" Pure vanilla asks.
Shadow milk stares in silence. "Would you want to? I'm fine without, I have custard cookie the third.." pure vanilla asks, he sounds fine and happy as if this isn't bothering him, though that's merely shadow milk's own thoughts plaguing him.
"... I'm... not sure.. that d..doesn't bother you, does it?.." he asks, in a stammer. "Obviously not.. we have eternity ahead of us, besides.. we haven't even discussed the potential of marriage.. though I'm getting ahead of ourselves, I'm just so love struck with you.. you little heart stealer you~" pure vanilla teases, pinching shadow milk's cheek extremely gently.
He then kisses shadow milk's lips with gentle care. Feeling the usually cold cookie flush up in bashful heat. Soon removing himself from him shadow milk floats off and above pure vanilla, still near and in front of him. He wipes his mouth which pure vanilla laughs at. "Still not used to kisses are you?" The king questions, look towards his precious jester. "Absolutely not." He hisses in response.
The touch starved yet touch hating cat looks at pure vanilla, leering at him with his heterochromatic blue eyes.
"though I have a question for you before you leave which I know you're going to.. why did you make lingerie?" Pure vanilla asks, with the head tilt of a confused puppy.
"...W..what!?.." shadow milk stutters. "Why do you?" Pure vanilla asks with a smirk. "To know I even OWN that you would've gone into my room and snooped around, you little gnat!" Shadow milk yells, clearly embarrassed. "Why did you make that? Quit avoiding the question~" pure vanilla's asks again in some dumb flirting attempt. The jester's eyes go wide as he squeals. "QUIT AVO- UGH. WHY ELSE WOULD I MAKE THAT! WHY WOULD ONE PURCHASE LINGERIE!?"
"why would you make it?" Pure vanilla states again with a shit eating grin, his face blushed, clearly thinking about it. "UGH TO TURN YOU ON.." shadow milk shouts. "Oh~ well now.. h-" "NO." shadow milk blurts out. "Y-You're being.. WAAAY TOO FLIRTY!" he shrieks before storming out in a fluster. Pure vanilla laughs knowing he'll be back later with vengeance.
He lays down, feeling relaxed now such a weight is off his chest, he caresses the diary pile next to him, taking one and hugging it onto his chest.
"I'm so glad this is over.." he sighs.
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