#the way it's at least 6 months (likely more) til we'll get the show

[lamonnaie]

MinQ thoughts (Ft. Ties and Rope)

icymi min is ohm's character and Q is leng's character :]

Early on (ep 3-ish) Something something they're making out now, clothes are coming off, Q's in a suit for whatever reason (Min orchestrating a fake photoshoot of some sort to get people off his back? idk) Q takes off his own tie and all while they're making out, he ties Min's hands to the headboard. By the time Min realises, its too late, Q just drops one last peck to his lips then leaves him there tied up - for revenge reasons not kinky reasons (this time around at least)

Then a while later, around ep 7-ish in terms of relationship development, they've got a system set up where Q's allowed to go out for certain business but he ultimately comes back to Min (is this even for kidnapping reasons or are they just boyfriends without the name at this point? who knows tbh, not them thats for sure) This time he comes back in a suit, they make out about it, Min's undressing Q all sexily but then HE ties Qs hands to the headboard without him realising. Q's all "what the fuck are you using my own trick on me", and mins like "yep", then he walks out the door, Q's shouting after him "you know I wouldn't leave anyway right", Min backtracks his head popping up in the doorway and asks "really", Qs just like "yeah" but Mins like "Mmm, I don't think so," then he walks away for real - this time the tying up is for abandonment issue reasons

(also very indicative of how building trust between them is gonna be so much back and forth, very 2 steps forward 1 step back, min doesnt have to tie Q up but he still believes that he does)

(yes this entire tie saga is largely inspired by ohm and his obsession with tugging around leng by his tie 😩😩)

Also SO many shenanigans (horny and otherwise) from their whole hands tied together while they sleep deal

one of the first times they're sleeping with their hands tied, they're in bed, min's asleep (or is he) and Q's on his side just watching min. he brings up his free hand to trace min's features, the camera follows, doing the thing where it zooms in on each specific part of his face as Q touches over it ever so lightly. He's tracing min's lips when it pans back to reveal Min's eyes are open (maybe they have been all along?). Q's frozen, not sure how Min's gonna react, but then min just slightly parts his lips and all of a sudden Q's fingers are inside his mouth. (logistics of sex when your hands are tied to each other? i'm sure that's a thing people are into, i'll leave the experts to figure it out)

something about how min's the kidnapper and he's technically got the control here, but tying their hands together places them both in the same situation,they're both restrained, neither can fully do as they please, they're equals in a sense

(because isn't that really their whole situation? different circumstances, but at the end of the day they're both trapped)

and the best way to navigate when their hands are tied is to do it together, hold hands and try to work through it with their combined strength

But also as Q's sleepwalking stops, the nightmares don't.

post-canon, they're together, they're happy, no more sick brothers or kidnapping, but some nights (no where near as often anymore, thankfully) Q will still get nightmares. min's heard the stuff about never waking up a sleepwalker, and waking up Q from his nightmares is a whole challenge in itself anyway. but min somehow figures out that having their hands tied together makes the nightmares go away almost entirely. so whenever he wakes up from Q's sobs and thrashing around in the middle of the night, he'll grab the rope from their side table and carefully bind their wrists together, just like they used to before. the first time Q wakes up to the ropes around his wrist again, Min's been up almost the whole night himself, first from Q's nightmares, then from anticipating Q's reaction to the whole rope situation. he's not exactly proud of how their relationship begun and every other time they've brought out the rope since (it definitely gets its fair share of use in the MinQ household) it's been with clear consent and enthusiasm on both their parts sometime beforehand.

but of course, Q wakes up, barely even acknowledges the rope at all, grabs onto Min's hand even tighter, turns around so he's nestled even further into Min's side, and promptly goes back to sleep.

they talk about it later (talking has been something they've been working on in the relationship), and establish that it really doesn't bring up any bad memories for Q (no doubt overshadowed by all the better rope-related memories they've made since) and that min's allowed to tie Q up as he pleases.

(Min doesn't know whether he wants to cry or be horny about that admission) (He decides on both, maybe even at the same time)

at some point the rope becomes a comfort thing for them, more than anything else. more nights than not they'll go to bed with their hands tied together, holding hands becoming their normal sleeping position

they've had friends over who were offended that they were doing kinky shit with other people there (Min thinks the friend deserves it for coming into their room unannounced anyway), but it takes a bit of explaining to make unnamed friend realise that it really isn't a sex thing

(except when it is, but they keep that to themselves this time)

[jules-has-notes]

Dayton, OH — VoicePlay live performances

After spending quite a bit of time in Ohio the previous autumn, VoicePlay returned in July 2015 for a night at the Fraze Pavilion. The show was almost cancelled for inclement weather, but luckily the rain held off and the outdoor venue stayed dry.

Their opening act was Eleventh Hour of Kettering Fairmount High School, the host group for the Kettering A Capella Festival that VoicePlay had participated in the year before. These talented kids had also opened for the Sing-Off tour a few months earlier at the Troy, OH show.

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[NOTE: The videographer sings along a lot.]

Each performance of this blend of comedy skit and musical medley is always a little different. How much will the driver and passenger poke at each other's buttons? Where will the air freshener go? What song will Layne sing? Have a watch and find out.

Details:

title: Road Trip

original songs / performers: [0:50] "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim; [1:08] "Orinoco Flow" by Enya; [1:26] "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot; [2:35] "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; [2:48] "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister; [2:57] "Voices Carry" by ’Til Tuesday; [3:14] "Shout" by Tears For Fears; [3:30] "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War; [3:40] "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd; [4:24] "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago; [5:43] "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason; [6:04] "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel as Elsa in Frozen (2013) ** see this dedicated post for original song links

written by: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Al Dubin & Joe Burke; "Orinoco Flow" by Eithne "Enya" Pádraigín Ní Bhraonáin & Roma Ryan; "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Noddy Holder & Jim Lea; "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; "I Wanna Rock" by Dee Snider; "Voices Carry" by Robert Holmes, Aimee Mann, Michael Hausman, & Joey Pesce; "Shout" by Roland Orzabal & Ian Stanley; "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by Papa Dee Allen, Harold Ray Brown, B.B. Dickerson, Lonnie Jordan, Charles Miller, Lee Oskar, Howard E. Scott, & Jerry Goldstein; "That Smell" by Allen Collins & Ronnie Van Zant; "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Peter Cetera & David Foster; "Let It Go" by Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

My favorite bits:

road raging Eli

Tony's flickering eye movements at the first iteration of "Cum On Feel the Noize"

♫ "We'll get WILD, wild, wild…" ♫

Layne jolting awake on the beat

Geoff's little twirl as he flees the vehicle

Earl using the pretend aerosol spray as deodorant rather than his usual hairspray motion

Hey, Layne, look up there. ☝

Eli almost laughing at the different interruption

Trivia:

VoicePlay had been performing and tweaking this medley/skit since at least 2010.

They made a professional recording in front of a live audience during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.

Layne usually sings "Royals" by Lorde as his interrupting solo, but sometimes changes it like he does here in an attempt to make the other guys break character.

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As much fun as this medley is to listen to, it's even more entertaining to watch the boys perform it live, bopping around the stage and playing together.

Details:

title: The King Has Returned (Lion King medley)

original songs: "Circle of Life"; [1:51] "I Just Can’t Wait to Be King"; [2:29] "Hakuna Matata"; [3:16] "Be Prepared"; [4:39] "Circle of Life" (reprise)

written by: Elton John & Tim Rice

arranged by: VoicePlay

My favorite bits:

the rhythm section step-touching their way through the "Circle of Life" chorus

Tony and Eli gesture-bickering over which of them "mine" refers to during "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"

Earl's little Elvis groove at the beginning of "Hakuna Matata"

Eli and Earl bouncing across the stage in time with Geoff's little downward riff

Tony and Geoff's alternating Twist moves

the crunchy transition into "Be Prepared", and their emphatic stomping

Layne making a butt-smacking motion toward Geoff to go with the whipcrack in his percussion line

the two beats of silence after "Pay attention!"

Trivia:

This medley originally appeared on VoicePlay's 2012 album "Once Upon an Ever After"

"Hakuna Matata" was also included in the "aca-Disney" mashup they created for the 20th anniversary of Disney On Broadway, as well as in their "Aca Top 10 — Disney Sidekicks" countdown.

"Be Prepared" later appeared in their "Aca Top 10 — Disney Villains" countdown.

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[NOTE: The videographer sings along a lot.]

VoicePlay isn't exactly a boy band, but they certainly sound good singing these hit pop songs from across the decades. And they've got a few moves to go with those talented voices.

Details:

title: Boy Bands medley

original songs / performers: "ABC" by The Jackson 5; [0:36] "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles; [1:19] "My Girl" by The Temptations; [2:08] "Sherry" by The Four Seasons; [3:04] "YMCA" by The Village People; [3:37] "(You Got It) The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block; [4:00] "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys; [4:40] "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSYNC

written by: "ABC" by Berry Gordy, Freddie Perren, Alphonzo Mizell, & Deke Richards; "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by John Lennon & Paul McCartney; "My Girl" by Smokey Robinson & Ronald White; "Sherry" by Bob Gaudio; "YMCA" by Jacques Morali & Victor Willis; "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" by Maurice Starr; "I Want It That Way" by Andreas Carlsson & Max Martin; "Bye Bye Bye" by Kristian Lundin, Jake Schulze, & Andreas Carlsson

arranged by: VoicePlay

My favorite bits:

Geoff's slow realization that his mic is dying

the other four carrying on through "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" just fine, but knowing that the next transition could be borked

return of the bass right on time, but a third too low (Good recovery, dudes.)

Eli's little head tilt in the back during the chorus of "YMCA"

the crunchy transition from "Right Stuff" to "That Way"

Tony's fabulous pop timbre on the lead for the last two songs

"Everybody watch him drink that water." VoicePlay, modelling healthy hydration habits.

Trivia:

VoicePlay revised this medley and finally recorded a video for it in 2019 as the result of a Patreon poll.

This piece usually ended with "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, but The Fraze didn't have a screen to project the visual gag that goes along with it, so the guys omited that part entirely for this performance.

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[NOTE: The videographer and her daughter sing along and yell a LOT.]

This video contains three separate numbers — Layne's drum solo, the "A Crimpella" medley of phonations, and an encore of "Don't Stop Believin'".

Details:

title: Layne's drum solo

written & arranged by: Layne Stein

Look at him go!!! 🥁

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title: A Crimpella

original songs / performers: [2:12] "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was); [2:25] "Witch Doctor" by Alvin & the Chipmunks; [2:32] "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; [2:37] "We Go Together" from Grease!; [2:44] "Motownphilly" by Boyz II Men; [2:53] "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas; [3:01] "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard; [3:03] "Shoop" by Salt N Pepa; [3:10] "Jock-A-Mo" (aka "Iko Iko") by James "Sugar Boy" Crawford; [3:18] "Mahna Mahna" from The Muppet Show; [3:30] "Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin" by Journey; [3:51] "Goofy Goober Rock" from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie; [3:55] "MMMBop" by Hanson; [4:08] "Hooked on a Feeling" by Blue Swede; [4:10] "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock; [4:16] "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka; [4:25] "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen; [4:42] "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga; [4:46] "Can't Get You Outta My Head" by Kylie Minogue; [4:52] "Limbo La La" by James Lloyd; [4:56] "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie; [5:13] "Wanna Be Starting Something" by Michael Jackson; [5:20] "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" by Steam ** see this dedicated post for original song links

arranged by: VoicePlay

My favorite bits:

the stomp sending Eli flying

everyone "watching" the UFO flyby and waving to it

the big wind-up before the others join Tony in rocking out

Earl's little chugging motions during Geoff's "ooga chaka" solo, that Layne then picks up for the next section

using the ♫ "goo-ood-byyye" ♫ as an actual exit line

Trivia:

This medley was part of their setlist for several years, including during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.

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title: Don't Stop Believin'

original songs / performers: [8:00] "Don't Stop Believin'"; [10:38] "Open Arms"; and [10:47] "Any Way You Want It" by Journey; [10:31] "Oh Sherrie" by Steve Perry

written by: all songs written by Steve Perry in collaboration – "Don't Stop Believin'" with Jonathan Cain & Neal Schon; "Oh Sherrie" with Randy Goodrum, Craig Krampf, & Bill Cuomo; "Open Arms" with Jonathan Cain; "Any Way You Want It" with Neal Schon

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci

My favorite bits:

the rare pairing up of Geoff and Tony & Eli and Layne during the first set of harmonies

Earl giving the camera a pointed look

Geoff's growl note as everyone but Earl drops out

the stacking of the polyphony section

Trivia:

Contrary to the cameraperson's assertion, Earl did not "mess up" the melody. That's how VoicePlay's arrangement goes. It's intentionally different from the original Journey version that she was probably expecting.

VoicePlay had been performing this arrangement since at least 2009, when they were still going by 4:2:Five.

In 2016, they were the featured guests at Camp A Cappella, and recorded a video for this song with the campers.

They later recorded a full version of "Any Way You Want It" during the second round of their PartWork series.

For a couple years, Eli also sang with a Journey cover band called Raised On Radio in between VoicePlay gigs.

[noxturnalmoth]

Scalpels and Paintbrushes || Chishiya Shuntarô x Reader

- read ‘til the end for notes -

When a freelance artist travels to Japan to rekindle her passion for art and her life, she finds herself in a whole other predicament. Dangerous games, dangerous people, a dangerous world with dangerous rules. She’s alone, fending for herself, until she meets a disoriented medical student that will bring her comfort but might bring more difficulties and heartbreak aswell.

TW: gore

Chapter 6: We'll meet again

That night Chishiya and I readied ourselves for our second game together, a four of clubs, and the day after we decided to play again, so Chishiya could get more experience and because he seemed kind of thrilled by the games. And I mean who am I to refuse him to indulge in his cavings, we're gonna die anyways so at least let it be in our own accord. So, after a very tiring game of seven of spades, we were left with ten days of visa.

We spent those days looking around, talking, nothing really fancy compared to our first week together, but it worked. We worked. Both in and out of games. It was mostly comfortably silent, with only Chishiya's mp3 or the radio as background sounds. But when we talked it was also great, as long as the silence might be so were our conversations.

We talked about before the borderlands, what we did, how it was for us. We told stories and anecdotes, took pictures, and soon enough I realized that he might've been right, I definitely got too attached. I mean, he was pretty great, a bit of an ass and a bit cold at times, but he was great. He didn't show it directly but he cared, sometimes he laughed and smiled when I was being a dumbass, he comforted me in his own peculiar and aloof way when I felt more down than usual, he always helped me with chores and cooking. He even dabbled into building small gadgets to help us and made me a sort of polearm with a taser on one end that I could activate by a button near the grip on the middle where I mostly held the weapon, and on the other end a blade from a pretty big butcher knife we found.

"If some play dirty to win then so do we to defend ourselves. Plus you're a dumbass, wouldn't want to hurt yourself."

He said.

Yeah right, just admit you care Shuntarô.

But yeah, a month has passed, Hide and Yume were still fresh in my mind but I felt like being in the Borderlands reduced my mourning by a big chunk, I had no time to wallow, I had to survive.

And so this is how I found myself, a month after meeting him, with Shuntarô Chishiya, in a ten of diamonds.

At first I was pretty happy, diamonds were both our strongest points, and it was medical themed which meant that Chishiya had a vast advantage.

The pitch of the game was that we were thrown into the Shinjuku Hospital, once again an advantage for my partner, and had to find and resolve three puzzles per floors. If you couldn't find in a given amount of time a puzzle on the floor you were in, you died, if you couldn't solve it or solved it badly, you died.

It was easy enough when in the pediatric wing, creativity was my forte so we got out of there fast. The pharmacy, nephrology, neurology and psychiatry floors were also quite easy. So all in all we got through it all pretty fast. Most of the others weren't as lucky as we were, as they either panicked, or weren't knowledgeable enough on medial subject and we had to hear their screams echo through the empty halls of the Hospital. But even through all that we had to keep on going. You see, one floor had been locked and could only be unlocked when all of the other floors were cleared.

The surgery floor.

And at first it seemed easy enough, Chishiya and I separated and talked through walkie talkies to help each other and gain more time, and it worked. So we unlocked all of the floors and got to the Surgery rooms in only a few hours, before we were reminded of the difficulty of the game once we got to the previously locked floor.

"You take the right part, I take the left?" I asked and the med student nodded. We bumped fists and then immediately got to work. And after looking through a few rooms I finally arrived at a puzzle.

"I found one."

"Same."

"I'm not gonna lie it looks really plain, no tools, nothing whatsoever."

"Wait, I am going through a passage? It was hidden behind a cabinet."

"Oooh did you find anything?"

"Wait a sec...Yeah, it's a control room of sorts I can see every camera. Another player found another game room on this floor so it seems we're about to get out...wait they're on the other side of your room. In the prep space..."

All of a sudden all the lights and cameras shut down, all the doors lock themselves. I hear footsteps and try to calm my breathing.

"Chishiya, I think someone is in th-"

"(y/n)? (y/n)? You're here? Fuck, shit, shit-"

The door wouldn't budge. I could hear him try to open it through the fuzz induced in my brain by the chloroform covered napkin my agressor pushed on my nose and mouth as they choked me to make me inhale air faster. Then it all turned black.

How much time passed, I don't know. But my body hurts, it's cold, I'm parched, and most importantly of all it's bright, really bright.

I cough as I open my eyes, damn it, it burns. The light, my body, my throat, my lungs, it all burnt. As my vision gets less and less blurry, my hearing starts to come back, a heart monitor beeps calmly, I am lying down, wearing an oxygen mask, my legs and arms are...cuffed.

I start to panic, the heart monitor starts to beep erratically, and that's when I feel the needles in my arms, IV fluids and many other machines were linked to me....I think know where it's all going and I don't like it one bit.

"Welcome to the second part of ten of diamonds, Operation. Various items were placed in the body of the patient, seven remote controlled bombs, and three caps of arsenic. A doctor has been asigned to perform the surgery, and they will be guided by the head surgeon who is in the control room with all the help they need in books. There will be no time limit for this game. But if you do not take out the bombs or arsenic caps in the way they are meant to be removed, it will result in the release of the fluid or the remote detonation of the bomb. Good luck!"

Lucky for me, or not, I understood the big lines...

I turn my head to the left to see a guy, in his late thirties maybe, shaking as much as I was and crumbling to the ground. The doctor.

I then realized it meant that Chishiya was the head surgeon, he maybe wasn't in here but he could help.

The thought didn't do much to ease my nerves though and tears start to fall from my eyes.

I hear the click of a microphone and a heavy sigh.

"(y/n)? I'm sorry you have to be in this predicament, I-I swear on my life I'm going to do anything I can to save you and help the other person in here with you, okay." He says rapidly, overcome by stress and panic.

I sob and nod as he takes his cue to explain to me the details of the game. So that was why my body hurt so much. Ten foreign and deadly objects were in my body and I had approximately 90% chances of dying, lucky me.

The more I tried to dedramatize the situation in my head the more I breathed heavily, thrashed around, and cried out loud. I had done, seen and lived horrible things but that definitely was the worse I've had since Hide and Yume's deaths in the Kuchisake-Onna game.

"Listen to me, you're having a panic attack, focus on my voice. You understand me, don't lose yourself completely, I'm not next to you to help so I can't do much, but it'll have to do."

I sob loudly and nod, I couldn't stop but that didn't mean I didn't hear him, so I tried to answer before I became too restless to do so.

"Name three things you can see."

"T-the heart monitor......the sheet covering me....the tool table.." I feel my throat constricting and the tears escaping my eyes faster but I could hear clearer.

"Great. Name two things you can feel."

"...The cold operating table.....the metal of the cuffs..." I start to breathe a bit slower as I take in my surroundings, my sobs getting more and more spaced out.

"That's it, I've got you. Now name one thing you can hear. Just one."

"I can hear you. I can- I can hear you, you're here."

"Yes I am. I'm here. You've done amazing, good job."

My sobs have now died down and although my heart is still threatening me to jump out of my rib cage I definitely feel calmer.

I choke out a laugh. "Thanks doc."

"I told you I've got you. Now, let's get that shit out of you, ok?"

"Please do."

And so Chishiya starts to talk to the one with the role of the doctor who I learned was named Kamo Yoshiteru. I understood Chishiya's encouragement and saw the man in the room come towards me.

"My english not good, but I try, I help you with Chishiya-san it's promise."

I nod and give him a small smile to reassure him, after all he was an accountant, not a surgeon, and he was in the same situation I was in, only on the other side. So I understood the immense pressure that was put upon him to save me.

"Okay so it seems like the bombs need to be removed by gently pulling the latches on it open from the arteries. You have one in each leg, two in your chest area, one hear the heart, one near the diaphragm, one in your right arm, and two in your left."

I take in the info and nod slowly, trying to take slow deep breaths to not hyperventilate again. And look at Kamo-san also nodding.

"But we will focus on the caps first, I know they said there was no limit of time but I can't help but want those out of the way first, there are less and they could melt and result in (y/n) taking in the poison anyways. As for their positions, one is in each leg, and the last one is in the right arm."

He then instructs Kamo-san to look at the map of the blood vessels that was in the room and points out where each element is in my body. Kamo-san uses a blue marker to point where the caps are, and a red one for the bombs. Organisation is a key point here, so having an accountant maybe isn't as bad.

"You take out the caps the same way you take out the bombs, the caps have only three latches compared to the bombs who have seven so rest easy, but not too much."

And that's how the surgery starts. Apparently I was injected with anesthetic before hand, which is nice, but it also means we have to not take too long because it might wear off and there is nothing else of the sort in the room.

The caps were easy enough to take off, Kamo-san nearly fainted when he first cut me up but kept a cool head and slowly but surely removed the first cap, he then sealed the wound shut by sewing it together and puting gauze and ointment on it. The same happened for the rest.

He wiped his forehead on his sleeve and cracked his knuckles nervously. To which I smile, I was going to reassure him, as freaked out as I was, so that he performs his surgery just fine. If I believe in him, maybe it'll work. Plus we had Chishiya.

Speaking of which he sighed in what seemed relief.

"Okay, okay. (y/n), are you alright?"

"I'm not dead, thanks to you guys." I choke out a strained laugh.

"Yeha, and we'll keep it that way. You've done a good job Kamo-san, very good job. Next the bombs, I suggest we take it slower, no chemical risks, so we can focus more on the latches so she doesn't die."

"Thanks for the reassurance buddy." I shiver as I imagine the state of my body after a remote controlled small explosion.

"You know I have to think about any and every outcome, right?"

"I know, it wasn't against you, you've been doing amazing. It's my fault I got stuck he-"

"It's not, you couldn't have known. Stop worrying, we're fine. I'm fine, so are you and so is Kamo-san and we'll keep it that way."

"I don't care if I'm in one piece as long as I live, so you guys shoot your shot."

Kamo-san nods and washes his tools as he listens to Chishiya's instructions, all of a sudden he seems more cold, more professional, we were 30% done but 70% were still left and those were the worse.

With shaky hands and a deep breath Kamo-san starts to cut open my left leg where the first bomb should be, and slowly but surely he peels of each latch from the device and throws it in the kidney shaped bowl, one down six to go.

The bomb on my right leg came off just as easily. Then came the right arm, the surface being smaller meant that Kamo-san had to concentrate more, and the fact that it was so close to my face made it hard not to look at the dangerous surgery. But the bomb was taken out easily as well.

We were 70% done, only 30% left. Kamo-san looked at me.

"Can I take out blanket from you?"

He asked for consent even in a situation like this, and I won't lie it made me smile. I nodded and he unwrapped my chest from the paper-ish sheet.

It was hard not to blush when a man had to manipulate your breasts but seeing as it was to save me from impending doom, the blush quickly left as I took a deep breath and nodded at Kamo-san so he could start.

All the while Chishiya helped him maneuver the best he could from where he was. He was of such a great help since the very start of this hellish surgery, by now I just wanted to run to him, take him in my arms and cry. But I had to be strong, I could do it later.

The diaphragm bomb got discarded after a while, the sweat gathering more and more on Kamo-san's forehead as he performed the dangerous surgery.

And after what felt like hours so did the heart bomb. This one was the most dangerous but Kamo-san aced the removal, I had to remind myself to hug him too. His point of view was probably as horrible as mine right now and he aced those surgeries like a boss. He didn't deserve this.

Last was the left arm, the first bomb came easily off, although needing some concentration, it definitely was more safe than the ones in my chest. I slowly started to feel what was done on my arm but kept on thinking positively, soon enough and probably before the anesthetic wears off, I'll be free of the last bomb.

For the second bomb of the left arm I felt more confident, Kamo-san had done a great job until now, I had to help him get past this last bomb. But as soon as I opened my mouth to encourage the older man a loud beep is heard and blood suddently splashes on my face.

My left ear rings. My face is hot, the red liquid dripping down my face. And as curiosity slowly took over me I looked at what was left of my left arm, a bloody stump, the 70% of my arm on the ground looked so foreign to me. And it's only after a few minutes that my body realized, the stump started to sting, my eyes watered, and my throat hurt from my screams. The effects of the anesthetic were wearing off and I just lost an arm, perfect timing wasn't it?

As this happened the door loudly opened, revealing Shuntarô in scrubs, rushing towards me, eyes frantic.

"I'm here, I'm here. It's okay."

"I'm so- so sorry.."

"Kamo-san, you did your best and extracted 9 out of 10 of the elements in (y/n)'s body, it's tiring and traumatizing, you don't have to apologise, not many in your situation with so little knowledge would have done so well. Be proud of yourself."

The older man nodded but fell to the ground and sobbed, the game's stress finally catching up to him.

But Shuntarô he took a probe and activated it.

"(y/n), hey (y/n), can you hear me?"

I nod through tears.

"Does it hurt?"

He says as he touches around the stump and when I scream he realizes that the anesthetic wore off almost entirely.

"Listen, I have to use that probe to burn your stump and stop you from losing all your blood, it's gonna hurt like hell but it's the only way you can survive. It's called electrocauterization. I'm gonna be as careful as I can to not hurt you anymore than you already are, do you trust me?"

I nod again, and it's all it takes for him to get to work. His lips in a harsh frown and his eyebrows furrowed as he works through the stump. The tool leaving an odor of rancid burnt meat in the air, the feeling of cauterization under the last of anesthetic feeling like billions of needles were stabbed in what was left of my arm.

Without waiting until the end, I faint, the operation and the stress of it all finally crumpling down on me like the weight of the world on Atlas' back.

_______

When I wake up, I'm on my bed, it's warm, hot even, unbearably so, but it feels....good. For a second it feels as though everything was a nightmare. But the soreness of my left arm and the sight of the stump as I try to lift my arm out of the covers prove me wrong. The sobs come to me once more my body shaking by the force of them as the source of the unbearable temperature moves and engulfs me in its arms.

"It's okay....I'm here. At least you didn't lose your dominant hand. I know it might be hard but you're alive, you can still realize your promise. Having one arm less doesn't make you less of a human. And what if it makes you weaker, you'll just have to compensate, and knowing you and how much there is in your head, you have more than what it takes to do so."

"Please don't go.." I say through boken voiced sobs. He shushes me, one hand through my hair, the other massaging my back.

"I think I have to though."

I look up at him, confused.

He looks away, gulping, clearing his voice.

"I'm getting too attached, I'm getting hurt and so are you, it isn't good. I can't stay with you if I'm going to see anymore of that." He sounds desperate, and so sad, his voice lowered to just a mutter.

"Shuntarô, that's- that's just how the borderlands are. I need you...please..."

"So do I, but I-" He sighs. "I'll stay until the end of our visa, then go. I can't stand it, seeing you hurt."

"But-"

"And I prefer you hating me because I left you than seeing you suffer this much. It might not sound good to you but I just, I can't handle it. You slept two days, and those two days seeing you like that were the worst moments of my life."

He looks at me with teary eyes, I had never seen him this way before and it scared me. During the surgery I only thought about Kamo-san and I but he was...

"I was so scared. When I heard you scream when the lights shut off, when everything did. And when I saw you on the surgery table, when I heard the rules...I couldn't believe the bullshit I just heard. I- I couldn't do anything but talk and watch...And when I was finally able to come to the OR, and saw you and heard you...It hurt so much. Seeing that gruesome sight, and being able to do nothing but talk, watch and rhen clean up while hurting you more. It ruined me."

"It must've been so hard on you Shun....I'm so sorry-"

"DON'T apologise, it's the game master's fault, not yours. But I think I need to get my thoughts in check, to breathe. And I got too attached to you to do so with you around."

"Hypocrite. You don't even follow your own advices. 'blahblah don't get too attached blahblahbl-"

He suddenly pinched my nose to stop me from talking and I softly laughed and looked at him in the eyes.

"But why in eight days?"

"Because I want to take care of you. And I want to care for you."

"But you already do all of this?"

"I just...I'm not good with words."

"So show me what you mean."

He looks at me dead in the eyes with so much sadness that I physically felt sucker punched. But all of a sudden as if he snapped out of a transe he kissed me. It was slow, passionate, filled with tears and unsaid words, heavy breaths and sobs.

I grasped at his blonde hair, now showing dark brown roots as he clasped both of my cheeks within his hands.

The kiss felt like it burnt and was cool at the same time, I could taste the saltiness on our tears, blood from Shuntarô's lips as he seemed to keep on biting them out of stress.

When we broke off we were breathless, our foreheads resting on each other's until he lifted his head and kissed mine.

"Well this was long overdue..." I mutter as I snuggle closer to the male and he softly chuckles.

"Yeah, in the end I think we might both be dumb, you more than me though. It's probably because you rubbed off on me."

"Fuck you."

"When and where?" He quotes me from the first week we spent together and we both softly giggle as if we talked any higher the world would break.

Silence then settles between us as we look at each other, breaths heavy with feelings.

"I won't stop you. Just promise you'll call me on the walkie talkie....from time to time at least..please...I just need to know you're fine."

"I will, I think I won't be able to live with myself if I don't, as much of an asshole I am I can't do it. Not to you. But I might be silent for a week or two, just so I don't drop everything and run back to you."

"Thanks for everything Shun."

"No, thank you, without you-"

"You'd be doing much better, stop denying the truth."

"No I wouldn't. Never once in my life did I have a real friend, neither did I have a girlfriend. You've been kind of both."

"Wow I'm your girl now huh?"

"Only if you want to."

"Maybe once we're done getting our feelings in check. I think you're right, we need some time to breathe, it's been a lot, everything I mean. And after we're done, we'll meet again, and then I'll say yes."

He looks at me softly, caressing my cheeks. "Is it a promise?"

I raise my only pinky left. "Even better."

He chuckles and we interlace our little fingers and hug each other to sleep.

After that the eight days seemed to pass by so fast. Shuntarô took such great care of me, as an intern he had to learn to be gentle, and that's all he ever was with me during times like these. My stump, although still looking like a disgusting red, charred mess of flesh, started to heal slowly but surely.

I aided him in making the food, as I was now less able to do most of the work. We talked as much as we could, making most of the time that was left. We listened to music together, like we always did, and painted, dyied our hair one last time, and did our chores together.

We kissed, anytime we could. Anywhere and everywhere. We watched the stars. We danced. We drank. We took pictures. We slept.

And soon enough the final eight days had passed. Chishiya and I got him a backpack so he could take all the things he had accumulated over the last two months, a few of Hide's clothes, a few pictures, a few letters, drawings and paintings we made. The gadgets he had made and some trinkets we found, a few rings or earrings, little souvenirs from our adventures...

"So this is goodbye huh?"

"No, it's a farewell." I look up at him as he says that, his hands wiping my tears away.

"What's the difference?"

"A goodbye is forever, a farewell is a promise to see each other again."

"Since when did you get so sappy?"

"Since I met you, you dumbass."

"Wow, love you too."

"I love you, you know that?"

"For our last time together for some time, I think you could prove it to me one last time so I can be sure..?"

"You're such a handful."

"But can you blame me? You love it."

"No I can't, and I sure as hell do."

And like that he dives in for one last kiss, he pours his all into it, his tears, his heart, mind and soul. His every atoms. And when it's finally time for us to find a game, I adjust the strap of my polearm holdster on my shoulder, caress his cheek to wipe his tears as he does the same to me, and look up to him.

"Farewell the Shun, we'll meet again. Don't know where, don't know when."

"But I know we'll meet again some sunny day."

<Prev / Next>

M.list

taglist wanters

Hey you guys, lately I've been struggling a lot more with my mental health than I did for a while, and I'm sure as hell not getting better, so I'm sorry for not posting for months. But here you go, I hope you'll like this chapter.

[bonfire-at-the-crossroads]

Rutger Hauer has passed, and is on his way through the stars, toward the shoulder of Orion and the Tannhauser Gate.

He gave himself to the world of film and created characters which will continue to inspire the people lucky enough to share in the dreams he left behind.

I wrote this a couple years ago - and maybe it’s time to look at it again.

Thank you Mr Hauer for leaving this place a little brighter for your having been here.

Good journey, peace at last.....

————————————————————————————————————-

January 8, 2016

It's Roy Batty's birthday.

Ridley Scott's 1982 movie - Blade Runner - cast Rutgers Hauer as the renegade Replicant in search of his maker.

The film was a brilliant adaptation of Philip K Dick's "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?"

Roy and a small group of Nexus-6 Replicants, have stolen an off-world transport, killed the crew, and returned to earth - in an attempt to coerce their designer to extend their programmed four-year lifespan. January 8, 2016 was the day of Roy's inception, and also the day his genetic coding has scheduled him for death.

He is being hunted by Harrison Ford, as hired-gun Deckard - a Blade Runner - paid to track and kill escaped Replicants.

----------------------------------------------

In 1982 - the idea of the year 2016 was a mind-numbing distance away.

"The Future" was a place where anything was possible, and our wildest dreams would come true.

It seems like yesterday.

And yet, when I started thinking about the world I inhabited in '82, and where I've washed up on the shores of 2016 - it's been quite an extended sea voyage.

I was married to somebody else.

We walked into town to the little movie theater on Central Avenue, and as we moved to our seats, were told by the usher ( yeah, that's right - there were still ushers ) -"You shouldn't even bother with this movie. It stinks. Four people at the last show actually asked for their money back."

We loved it.

Minds were blown - and we went back two more times, bringing friends.

That Christmas Eve - I had a small stroke. I was 26.

At the time, I was more worried about how the news would affect my husband - and did not fully appreciate my own predicament. He overheard the doctor on the phone making arrangements for what was then, the only echocardiogram machine in the New York area.

"Is that about you?" He asked. I nodded.

My husband passed out cold on the waiting room floor.

I survived. Had test after test after test, and slowly got my left side back under my own control.

Time passed.

We tried for the baby - and a series of horrors led to the loss of pregnancy, and culminated with a 3:00 AM visit to the emergency room.

The husband was so upset - he left me by the hospital entrance, and drove home.

When he inevitably decided that he needed "space" and wanted to "take a break" -(clearly, his office-affair had nothing to do with this decision ) - I used the time to take a good long look at the marriage.

When he came back three months later - I was not the girl he had walked out on.

The world had changed, and so had the locks.

-------------------------------------------------

I moved into the West Village with a girlfriend. It was awkward having a roommate after having a husband, home, and mortgage - but I made it work.

An unusual boyfriend followed, and several years of actors, artists, and cabaret performers filled my days and nights.

It was Manhattan in the '80's. There were nights out spent dancing at the clubs til dawn.

The Met was open late on Friday nights, and my group of fellow oddballs wandered the museum halls every week for over a year.

Art and illustration was my livelihood. I knew everyone in the Village ( at least by sight) and was completely comfortable in my element.

But my friends got sick.

And my friends started dying.

AIDS ravaged the world.

The Village was ground zero, and everyone was terrified. We didn't know where it was coming from, didn't know how to cope with the skeletal friend, the friend covered with sarcoma blotches - was it the end of the world?

In many ways - yes. It was.

The best, brightest, most talented people on earth were dying out - and all I could do was hold hands at the bedside, and attend memorial services.

There was a three month period when I went to a service EVERY SINGLE WEEK.

My dearest friend, Bruce - I never even knew when he was well. We were fellow illustrators, and spent hours a day with phone cocked between shoulder and ear - talking while we drew in our separate studios. He was in Chelsea, I was on the corner of Perry and West Fourth.

We brought children's books to life, and loved the work.

As AIDS ravaged his body, he needed to take long naps in the afternoons. His fever would spike uncontrollably - he called it "Shake and Bakes."

He fussed over the ugly sarcoma lesions which appeared on his arms and hands - he found a theatrical makeup which he swore would cover them up so that nobody would know.

Everybody pretended that it worked.

"Well, my sweet darling angel - I took a shower this morning, and guess what? I watched all my hair go down the drain."

Some medication he was taking, combined with what may have been a chemotherapy cocktail - took every hair on his head.

He entered the shower - with.

Exited - without.

He had been told this might be a possibility, and had already purchased a wig from a professional Broadway wig-maker.

It was awful looking, but we continued to pretend.

He slipped farther away, and was hospitalized on a closed floor reserved for AIDS patients.

I visited every single day.

I brought tiny gifts, saved up stories to make him laugh - and built my day around spending time with him.

His family wouldn't come and see him. Friends did their best, but simply couldn't be with him when push had finally come down to shove.

I remember shouting at his brother on the pay phone in the hospital hallway "I can't make this better. I'm not allowed to make decisions for his care, because I'm not a family member. He is dying, and you need to be here."

He wasn't.

I held Bru's hand, and wiped his forehead. I asked the nurse to turn up his oxygen because he was struggling and begging for air. "It's as high as it will go." she said - and even though it was time for all visitors to leave, she said I could stay.

The day before, he had spent time with a priest who had given him what I now believe was last rites. He seemed comforted, and we said what needed to be said.

"You know Bru....I will ALWAYS love you."

He smiled and said. "I know. And I will always love you too."

He took his last breath a little before midnight.

I closed his eyes.

Twenty seven years have passed since that night.

-----------------------------------------------

The unusual boyfriend fell victim to his own silliness. He convinced himself that another woman was sending him messages about being attracted to him - and he needed "some space" to explore the magic.

He did.

She didn't

And I was magically single again.

As 1990 dawned - the Internet had not been invented.

The cell phone - wasn't.

Video rental stores were visited daily, and made money hand-over-fist.

Blonde, Madonna, and all that wonderful 80's music that my kids now think is divine - were the sounds of the decade.

And I didn't quite trust CD's.....

Times Square was just beginning to shed the peep shows and adult movie houses.

It was gritty, and how I loved it.

July 4th of 1990 I found myself eating in the diner downstairs from my apartment on the corner of 14th St and Seventh Avenue.

It was empty.

I ate my bluefish dinner and went back upstairs to the drawing board.

One single red rocket cleared the rooftops and the stars rained down.

I was bored.

Decided to place a personal ad in The Village Voice. "Looking for an interesting conversation over a cup of coffee....." and some other minor nonsense.

Over 350 people responded in the three days I checked the answering machine.

"I've never answered a personal ad," said the voice on the phone."I live with a grey cat. And I'm reading DUNE. Maybe you could call me, and we'll get a cup of coffee?"

On our third date, he never went back home.

"You know what? It's getting kind of silly to keep paying for an apartment to keep my cat in...."

"So what are you saying?" I asked. "Are you asking to officIally move in here?"

" Nope. Let's get married. It'll be fun. I'm not exactly getting younger - either are you. Why not?"

"It'll either work - or it won't. What's the reason that we shouldn't at least TRY?"

He talked me into it.

Brian and I were married in the Cathedral of St John the Divine, three months after our first date. Twenty five years ago, last October.

Babies happened. Three in a row. "Irish triplets" as my obstetrician called them.

Quinn.

Morgan.

Maddie.

They were (and are ) the three finest people I have ever known - and are the center of my soul.

Brian and I survived critical fulcrum points where the smallest waver would have plunged all of us into hell.

We stared death in the face - death blinked, and looked away,

more than once.

We walked away from alcoholism.

Left cigarettes behind,

Did battle with depression,

and kept walking....

We've skated on the thinnest of financial ice for YEARS.

We've worked and worked and worked some more - and it was never going to be enough to keep the ship afloat.

The kids, as we've laughed over the years have "Never missed a meal."

Nothing was easy, but our youngest will be the third to graduate from college in the Spring. Yes, there are loans to be paid - and we'll do everything we can to help them gain traction in their lives.

About a year and a half ago we took a good hard look at where the road was leading us. Our ability to maintain the income necessary to support our lives in Westchester county, in a big house with a big mortgage - huge utility bills, and a dwindling job market - we came up with a plan.

The bank was unhappy with our syncopated mortgage payment schedule - and really wanted their house back. Things were sliding downhill, and we simply couldn't stop it.

"Let's take the money from my last free-lance job, and buy a house in Ireland."

Found one.

And did.

Sold the house in Westchester.

Packed up everything we could.

Got on the plane.

And here we are.

January 8th, 2016, and it's 1982 all over again.

The Replicant is out of time.

He sits high on the rooftops above the city, rain is pouring from the black skies - and Roy Batty,- in his last moment of life - knows what it is to be fully human.

"I've seen things, you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

We all go through the motions. We get out of bed every day, and do our best to keep our lives and our families moving forward.

We work.

And plan.

And strive for happiness.

I'm no Roy - but I too, have seen things that will pass away with me when I go.

I, too, have learned what it is to be fully, and completely - human.