#the way he stumbled over the 'i love you'... the way she had said 'my sister hardly shows her true feelings to me'
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Snow Angel: Squalls (3) Paige Bueckers x reader
Summary: Whay happened before Halloween (reader tweaks out)
(Toc) (last)
Warnings: religion/religous trauma, homophobia and internal homophobia, Catholicism, alcohol and improper alchohol use
AN: guys I'm so sorry for this its a bit intense but I love angst and am religiously traumatised myself soooooo…
October 29, 2022
The processional music rang out over the aged speakers in the church as the priest made his way down the center aisle. The inscence made your eyes water and the smell of the old rotting carpet consumed your senses. You stared straight ahead, squeezing your eyes shut. Waiting for the confessional.
Pushing the curtain open, you stepped into the dark box and kneeled on the thinly padded cushion.
“Bless my father for I have sinned..”
The same thing every week. You glanced up through the mesh screen at the shadowed face in the other side.
He said the same thing every time.
Pushing open the heavy wooden doors you stepped out into the cold October air. You felt your chest tighten as you looked down at the notifications from Paige.
Shoving your phone in your pocket you started the walk back to her dorm.
October 30, 2022:
You sighed at the sight of her. Long blonde hair cascading down her back, tiny shirt, big pants. You didn't even know what she was dressed up as, you didn't care. Fuck I need a drink.
You knew it was okay. It's okay to be gay and like girls. Paige liked girls and that's fine. You really had no issue with other people living their lives how they wanted to because it wasn’t you business. But you couldn't ignore the crawling feeling that chewed at your stomach when you saw a pretty girl when you saw Paige. The guilt that would slowly consume you, make you feel sick to your stomach. Worst of all you could never just admit it to yourself, you liked Paige more than a friend, and it was eating you alive.
You quickly tore your gaze away from the blonde, making you way over to Nika who was nursing a bottle of tequila. Withing the hour, the churning in your stomach had melted away, and when you looked at Paige, instead of hearing the priests voice you heard her sweet calming tone.
October 31, 2022
7 AM mass is usually reserved for old people from nursing homes and early morning commuters—and you. Sliding into a row in the back, you kneeled, letting your forehead rest against the pew in front of you. You didn’t move the whole mass.
“Forgive me father for I have sinned…”
He says the same thing every time. And when you leave, the same consuming, heavy, feeling occupies your chest. You blame the tears on the incents and walk out of the church with you head low.
—
Paiges dorm was full of people and you had been nursing a bottle of pink whitney since you got home from mass. “Paigeeeee, are you ready to go?” you giggled, stumbling into her dorm living room and wrapping your arms around her neck. “Jesus Nika what did you give her?” You could hear the concern laced in Paiges voice as she stabilized your hips and unwound your hands from her neck. You melted under her touch, god she was pretty.
You gently held onto her hands, running your fingers over her knuckles and holding them up to your face. “What did she give you? Hmm?” you looked up at her big blue eyes, laced with concern. Can you feel the sin? Can you see it written in my eyes? Do I feel dirty to her too? You giggled slightly slumping into her chest. “Nothingggg~ look I'm fine!” You attempted to sober yourself up, standing up straight, trying not to sway on your feet.
“Sure thing babe.” You felt your stomach churn at the pet name. You hummed back at her, you watched her eyes search your face before she gave up and turned back to her conversation with Aaliyah.
—
You stumbled out of the bar. This is bad, so so bad. You knew you were beyond drunk. Messy. The only good thing about this situation was Paige, gently guiding you into the back of an uber and closing the door behind you both.
She had never looked prettier. Ever. “I like your hair.” She grinned at you “Thanks, I do too.” “its very pretty” you reached up, running your fingers through her hair. “Whats it like…?” your sentence faded our as you glanced out the window, your hand still fiddling with her hair. “Hmm?” She looked back at you. You dropped her hair looking back into her eyes. You felt like you were being swallowed. The uber pulled into your parking lot before you could finish your sentence.
“Come on, lets go.” Paiges voice was gentle, coaxing you out of the backseat, looping an arm around you and guiding you in through the door. You tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as she leaned in a bit to put the key in the door. “Paige.”
“Yea? What is it?”
“I love you” she smilled at you and you felt your vision blur. “Awwe I love you too, don't cry!” You desperately palmed at the tears rolling down your cheeks. She gently placed you on the bathroom counter. “Whats wrong?” grabbing a cotton pad she began scrubbing at the makeup on your face. You sniffled and shook your head.
“C’mon you can tell me anything. Whats up?” she stopped her gentle scrubbing to crouch to your level. “I’m so scared, Paige you're killing me.” you could feel the tears burning in your eyes, yor chest felt tight as you gripped her hands. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling her straighten up infront of you. She paused for a moment, unsure about whether or not to dissect this. “Lets go to bed, okay. I know you're probably tired.” You could feel her gently guide you off the counter, your eyes still squeezed shut.
“Maybe walking would be a bit easier if you opened your eyes?” you shook your head. “I'm not supposed to see you anymore.” You stumbled into her back as paused again, obviously confused. “I can’t go to Heaven anymore Paige this is all I have now.”
The silence was heavy, the only sound coming from the silent crys you let out. She kept moving slowly through your messy room. You yanked on her hand, pulling her to face you. “Its your fault! Why don't you care!” she gently guided you to sit on the edge of the bed. In the dark light you could make out the tears waiting in her eyes. You really ruined it this time. You pushed at her shoulders, repetitively hitting her with weak jabs and punches. “You’re ruining me Paige! You're ruining me! I don't stand a chance I- how do you live with…it?!” You both knew what you meant. You had done this before, a long time ago.
Tears streamed down your face, dripping into your lap. Paige was silent as she moved to take your shoes off and pull the cover up. “Sleep on your side, don't roll over.” Her voice was flat, monotone, but you could see the hurt still in her eyes. As she stood up to walk to the door you grabbed at her arm. “No, no, no please Paige don't leave me! Please I'm sorry, I love you, please. I really do, I'll live with it, ill live with it for you. Just for you you're all I need I-” You watched her cry, her back turned to you. Broad shoulders shaking as she rubbed her eyes. Silently she left the room, the door softly clicking behind her.
In the darkness of the room, you swore you could smell the old carpet and the inscense.
November 15, 2022
As you walked out of the church, head still pounding from last night, you glanced down at your screen to a text from an unknown number.
"Hey! I don't know if you remeber me, but my name is Maggie we met last night! If you don't remeber we talked a bit last night and I helped you get home."
another text came through as you stared at the screen.
"Anyways, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and see if you wanted to get coffee or something today?"
You unlocked your phone and opened the chat, responding immediately.
"Yea sure! what are you doing for lunch?"
(see how our dialoge changes colors 😗😗😗)
TAGLIST: @smiths-fan--13 @yannasuniverse @stydiaownsmyheart @hellokittyfeenie @justareadernotawriter1
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( drabble ) intoxicated ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 방찬 ՞
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ chan comes home drunk with only one thing on his mindヾ
boyfriend!chan・ reader g ・ smut cw ・ sex under the influence, unprotected sex, breeding kink, pregnancy talk wc ・ 0.8k | click to library
request. can you make one of Bangchan? please, he is drunk and horny after a party and he is obsessed with getting her pregnant ?
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i loved writing this idk why i hope you like it <3
looking at the clock it was way past midnight when you heard the door open. “baby!” you heard your boyfriends slurred voice. “baby where are you!” you shook your head — shrieking when he came bursting through the door. “baby!” he yelled out. “hi baby!” you laughed at how drunk he was. “hi chan.”
“hi baby.” he smiled, face flushed as he stumbled over his own feet. “not that drunk i swear.” he said, but his actions said otherwise. “i missed you so much.” he kicked his shoes off; unbuckling his pants. “wished you would’ve came out tonight.” taking his shirt off, tossing it. “it was fun.” he clumsily climbed into bed, falling flat on top of you. “bang christopher chan!” you yelled, slapping his bare back. “get off you are heavy.”
“why.” he whined , wrapping his arms around you. “why are you being so mean?” his face pressed against your stomach. “i love you so much and you’re being so mean.” his eyes closed, you shook your head, thinking he was going to fall asleep. “chan let’s lay down now.” you tapped his cheek. “come on baby.”
it was silent; you thought he had actually fallen asleep — that was until you felt his hands lifting up your shirt. “channie what are you doing?” he hummed. “just wanna feel my girl.” he rubbed all along your waist. “you smell nice.” you chuckled. “it’s your body wash.” you ran your fingers through his hair. “i know, but im talking about your natural scent, smell so sweet.” he kissed your bare stomach. “ch-chan.” you warned.
“what?” he said softly, slurring his words. “let’s lay down.” you said, trying to get him to sleep, even though he was slowly turning you on. “o-okay.” he said, before sitting up, quickly pulling you down, your head hitting the pillow. “let’s lay down.” he kissed your neck. “ch-chan you’re intoxicated, we’re not having sex tonight.” he whined against your ear. “you’re not taking advantage of me , i know you feel how much i want you right now.” he took your hand, running it down his abs, down past his waist. “see.” he groaned, placing it on his cock.
“ye-yeah but you’re still not in your right mind.” you didn’t want to egg him on, but he wasn’t having it. “im well in my right mind to know how much i want to put a baby right here.” he pointed to your stomach. “wanna fuck you so full that it has no choice but to stick.” the air was too thick, you could still smell the alcohol on his breath. “let me finally put a baby in you.” his hand working into your panties. “chris.” you moaned. “see you’re so wet, you want this, you want to be fucked full of my babies.” he groaned. “let me do that.” his fingers slipped into your dripping cunt. “gonna get you pregnant tonight.”
chan was insatiable when he was sober, but it was nothing compared to when he was drunk. you were on your 4th orgasm, chan on his second; the clock beside you was almost at 2:30 am, but he didn’t plan on stopping — determined to have you swollen with his kid by the end of the night. “fu-fuck baby.” he groaned, his hips snapping against yours. “fuck i love this sweet pussy so much.” he groaned, his face flushed. “chan.” you moaned out. “so fucking tight , taking my fat cock like the good girl you are.”
he was pinning you to the bed as he plowed into you. the squelching noises from your previous orgasms filling up the room. “fuck you hear that baby -fuck- you pretty pussy is talking to me.” he huffed. “she wants to be bred so bad , she crying for my cock.” his necklace dangling in front of you. “you wanna cum for me?” you nodded dumbly, you were now intoxicated but not like alcohol, but his cock, you sobbed out. “so bad.”
“cum for me.” he whispered in your ear. “fuck chan!” you screamed out, you sweet juices spraying all over his abdomen. “ye-yes fuck baby.” he groaned. “fuck cum all over me.” he continued you to fuck you. “that’s it -fuck- fuck me im gonna cum again.” he moaned, cock twitching as his filled you up for the third time that night. “fuck im gonna breed you , fill you with my seed, give you a pretty baby.” he groaned. “fuck i love you so much.”
feeling his warm cum pouring inside you, he sighed falling against you, your bodies sticking together. “chan , channie get up we have to clean ourselves.” you could feel his heart beating as he softly snored on top of you. you ran your fingers through his sweaty wet hair. “told you , you were tired.” you kissed the top of his head. “you big goof, you know you can’t hold your alcohol.” he wrapped his arms around you , holding you close. “sleep now.” you chuckled. “fine.” you said, finally drifting off to sleep.
almost a week later the two of you were standing over the sink in your bathroom , a positive pregnancy test sitting right in front of you.
©️LUVYENI
#kpop x reader#kpop smut#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#skz hard hours#skz smut#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#skz hard thoughts#skz drabbles#bangchan x reader#bang chan x female reader#bang chan smut#bang chan hard thoughts#bang chan hard hours#bang chan drabbles#bang chan imagines
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Can you please do one where the reader isn’t feeling well and a recruit offers to escort her to her room (Bucky and Sam are in a meeting) but then tries to take advantage of her? She feels dirty, ashamed, and breaks up with Bucky. Weeks pass before she works up the courage to return to the Compound, knowing the recruit will be there, because she misses seeing Bucky and Sam. They hang out, and as she is leaving, the recruit corners her. Bucky overhears him being mouthy. After the recruit is dealt with, Bucky assures her that he loves her and that she is not damaged goods, so to speak. Thanks! 🩷
You’re Not Damaged Goods
Bucky x Y/N
Warnings: Mentions of assault. Angst.
Y/N clutched her stomach as another wave of nausea rolled through her, leaving her lightheaded and unsteady. Training that morning had been brutal—pushing through her discomfort in the hopes of staying under the radar hadn’t helped. The last thing she wanted was to bother Bucky, who was tied up in a strategy meeting with Sam and the team.
As she stumbled out of the gym, leaning heavily against the wall for balance, a recruit named Jared jogged over. Tall, with sandy blonde hair and a cocky smirk, he was one of the newer faces around the compound.
"Hey, you okay?" Jared asked, concern lacing his tone.
Y/N tried to wave him off. "Just… not feeling great. I'll manage."
"You sure? You look pale. Come on, let me help you get to your room," he offered, his hand brushing her arm.
She hesitated. Normally, she’d decline, but the thought of collapsing in the hallway was worse. "Okay, thanks," she murmured.
Jared slipped an arm around her waist, steadying her as they walked. His grip felt a little too tight, but she chalked it up to his effort to support her. As they turned a corner, she noticed they weren’t heading toward her room.
"Wait," she said, pulling back slightly. "My room's the other way."
Jared grinned, the concern in his eyes replaced by something darker. "Relax. I just thought we could… talk somewhere private."
Alarm bells rang in her head. She tried to step away, but his grip tightened. "No, I think I'll head to my room now," she said firmly.
Jared's smile turned predatory. "Don't be like that. You’ve got to know how pretty you are, right? Bucky doesn’t have to know."
Her heart pounded as panic set in. "Let go of me," she demanded, her voice trembling.
Instead, he pressed her against the wall, the cold surface biting into her back as his weight pinned her in place. His breath was hot and rancid against her ear, sending a shiver of dread through her. Her pulse thundered in her ears, drowning out the muffled sounds of agents passing in nearby hallways. Every nerve in her body screamed at her to move, to fight, but her limbs felt leaden, her fear momentarily paralyzing her.
“Come on,” Jared whispered, his tone dark and filled with deep intent, “you don’t have to play hard to get.”
Her heart clenched as his hand slid lower, crossing a boundary that made her want to throw up.
A surge of adrenaline flooded her system, snapping her out of her frozen state. She shoved him hard with every ounce of strength she could muster, her hands shaking violently as she forced distance between them.
"I said no!" she shouted, her voice breaking with raw fear. It echoed down the hallway, a desperate plea for anyone—someone—to hear.
A passing agent rounded the corner, startling Jared enough that he lost concentration. Y/N didn’t waste a second, bolting down the hallway and locking herself in her room. She sank to the floor, tears streaming down her face. She felt dirty, humiliated, and most of all, ashamed.
That night, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Bucky. He’d been so happy after the meeting, his smile so genuine. How could she burden him with this? Instead, she let the memory fester, her thoughts spiraling. By the next morning, she’d made a decision.
She had to leave.
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
Weeks passed, and Y/N’s absence was a gaping hole in Bucky’s life.
He tried to reach her—calls, texts, even showing up at her old apartment—but she never responded. Sam tried to reassure him. "She probably just needs space," he’d said.
But Bucky knew it was more than that.
He just didn’t know why.
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
Y/N hadn’t planned to return to the compound. Every step she took inside brought back memories of Jared’s leer and the way his hands had pinned her in place. But she missed Bucky and Sam. She missed their banter, the way Bucky’s presence made her feel safe.
She made herself small as she walked through the halls, avoiding eye contact. She found Sam first, laughing in the kitchen. Bucky was next, sparring in the gym. Both greeted her warmly, but she kept her distance, her guilt gnawing at her.
“I should go,” she said after a few hours, clutching her bag tightly.
“You sure?” Sam asked. “We just got you back.”
“I’ll visit again soon,” she promised.
As she stepped into the hallway, she froze. Jared stood at the far end, his eyes locking on her immediately. His smirk was back, sharper and more menacing than ever. She tried to turn away, but he was already moving toward her.
"Y/N," he drawled, his voice dripping with mock sweetness. "Long time no see."
She didn’t respond, quickening her pace, but he grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him.
“Running away again?” Jared sneered. “You don’t need to pretend you didn’t like it when I—”
“Get your hands off her.”
Bucky’s voice was low and steady, sending a chill down Jared’s spine. He was standing just a few feet away, his jaw tight and eyes blazing with fury.
Jared laughed nervously. “Hey, man. Just talking to her.”
“Agent Lee,” Bucky took a step closer, his voice ice-cold. “You have 10 seconds to get out of eyeshot.”
Jared released her arm, raising his hands defensively. “I didn’t mean—”
“Save it,” Bucky snapped.
“I gave you 10 seconds, you now have 5. Here’s how this is going to work,” Bucky continued, his voice dropping even lower, almost a growl. “You’re going to stay far away from her—from any woman in this compound, actually. You don’t speak to her. You don’t look at her. Hell, you don’t even think about her.”
Bucky leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper now, but no less terrifying. "Because if I catch you stepping out of line again, they’re not going to need a meeting to figure out why you’ve gone missing. You’ll just disappear. And trust me, I’m very good at making things disappear."
The ghost of a smirk played on his lips as he straightened, his gaze never wavering. "So, what’s it gonna be? Are you walking out of here, or am I carrying you out in pieces?"
Jared swallowed hard, his face pale, his bravado crumbling. Bucky’s stance didn’t waver, his protectiveness a palpable force that seemed to radiate through the air.
"You made the wrong choice coming after her," Bucky added, a final warning in his icy tone. "And if you’re dumb enough to try again? You’ll find out just how bad of a mistake that was."
Jared muttered something under his breath before retreating, but not before Bucky stepped forward, towering over him. “If you so much as look at her again, I will invert your ribcage, you sad fuck.”
As soon as Jared disappeared, Bucky turned to Y/N. She was trembling, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.
“Doll,” he said softly, stepping closer. “Are you okay?”
She nodded weakly, but tears welled in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
“For leaving. For not telling you. For—”
He silenced her with a gentle hand on her cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for. This wasn’t your fault.”
“I feel… ruined,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “Like I’m not the same person I was before.”
“Listen to me,” Bucky said firmly, his thumb brushing away her tears. “You are not broken. You are not dirty. What he did—what he tried to do—doesn’t define you. And it sure as hell doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Her lip quivered as she met his gaze. “You mean that?”
“Every word,” he said, pulling her into his arms. She melted against him, the weight of weeks of guilt and shame finally lifting.
“You’re my everything, Y/N.”
For the first time in weeks, she let herself believe it.
——————————————————————————————————
Hope this is what you were wanting, Hun. It’s a bit heavier than my usual stuff so, I really tried to capture your request as best I could. 🫶
Requests Open!
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ok wow, took me 4 hours to read and annotate this.
i love LOVE the banner, it rly like set the mood of the story and i love your editing skills !!
whoops, this is long.
— plot; easily my most fav wonwoo fic. oh god, i was from the moment you announced in front of me was in the works. angsty fic with best friend wonwoo, i was SOLD. plus unrequited love? pining? realistic characters? yes. the angstiest piece written so beautifully and done with so much effort. and this hits way too close to home. i literally felt called out at multiple points of reading. i just love how realistic and gut wrenching this is.
— oc; she's an idiot, i love her. honestly, i feel like she's me lmao. everything from pining like an idiot to the buzzfeed unsolved and aot, man. she's so well sculptured in a way her characterization is realistic. her sensitivity, the willingness to let him walk over her like that, pining, naivety, accepting him no matter what. fucking hell, she wasn't even angry at last, just so tired and soft with her wordings, only breaking down by the very end. she needed a push to take a stand for herself and i'm so glad she did!
— wonwoo; *sighs* the very introduction and he was already being a dick. but goddamn the fact he's genuinely oblivious to it? when i was expecting toxic bsf! wonwoo, i didnt expect him to be a cardboard cut-out of he-who-shall-not-be-named. ig every girl has stumbled across these type of guys. it would've been so easier to hate by just seeing the story from his pov. but introducing his thoughts and views made me fee pity for him. bcz yeah, he's human too and as much as he's despicable, i understand him. a true gray character. his feelings were so complex. the string of relationships that never worked out were so bitter to read about, him ghosting her yet always crawling back, the uncertainty when she started ignoring him, the jealousy, the anger. his character was so raw and human. as much as i feel sympathy for him, sometimes leaving ppl like this behind is the best answer.
— seokmin; ok, i was so enamored by this guy, that i completely overlooked the fact that he could have bad intentions. like?? if you read thru my annotations, i genuinely liked him? even when wonwoo said he knew what he was doing, i thought wonwoo was being stupid. ... until i heard it straight from seokmin. man, the twist? i was so shocked, i dont even know what's gonna happen lmao. this is crazy.
— the friends; i love them from what we've seen of them. the scene with gyu giving him a reality check? fuck yes, you need friends like that. not only was he looking out for her, he was looking out for him too. i loved it!
— annotations;
Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?
the angst is already hitting omfgggg
and the prologue feels like the opening to a movie, i love it so much.
“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.
asking the real questions here
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.
nooo, but also yesss for the slowburn
“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.
that hurts..
But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
this is already hitting omfg
He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.
ow ow ow, ok.
but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else.
🙁 angst is angsting
Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.
reading this while im on my periods is gonna punch me in the gut
“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.
🧍not me serving lanes with seokmin lmao
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him.
been there, done that. i am guilty your honor
You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.
she’s down bad and attached af but I UNDERSTAND RAHH
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up.
🧍… i giggled
Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder.
RAHHHHHHHH 🦅
“Of course, what are best friends for?”
ofc ofc … best friends …
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
this was so beautiful, i just had to point it out. Anna’s writing >>>>
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day.
alexa play, snow on the beach (anna’s version)
He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you.
fuck, i feel called out
Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.
is this about me?
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.
this fucking play is abt me
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year.
oh fucking hell, anna are you perhaps stalking me??? im having flashbacks
He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.
wonwoo bro, what is this behaviour
Everything that you weren’t.
fuck, ok that hurts (i refuse to cry so early)
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
ik normally ppl would hate this, so do i. but been there, done that… not proud of it
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit. The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.
your imagery ???? holy shit, i never thought of the siren metaphor in this way. anna, ur brain >>
“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.
🧍*sighs* pls dont tell me he’s gonna talk like this the entire time. Wtf jeon wonwoo
Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night.
listen, this is gonna be difficult if he's gonna keep acting like this
His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.
Delulu is the solulu (in fiction)
The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
oh here comes the jealousy.
At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.
asdfghjkl, jealousy is one ugly demon. I hate it
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
another hit in the gut, it seems so important at that time but looking back, nope.
“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.”
🥺🥹 friends like this >>>
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.
i need a seokmin in my life rn
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him.
lmao, i love soonyoung
huhu, im so READY for wonwoo’s pov
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo.
I screamed when i saw this, FROM THE TEASER ASDFGHHJKL
He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling.
wow, try being her for a sec, my guy
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care.
10 points for self awareness!!
Because in his mind, you’re his best friend.
I folded so fucking fast, im not immune to possessiveness
[wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u.
i am not immune to jeon wonwoo
The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.
yes yes YES, he’s jelly
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe.
i love his complexity. the most perfectly gray character, like any other human being. I love your characterisation of him so much!!
That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him. He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone.
Awww, this is cute but knowing how’s he gonna act in the future ….
“You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?”
i hate these typa relatives ??? like bro LOOK AT URSELF
Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.
AHHH, ANNA U AND ME, WE ARE THE SAME PERSON omg i love buzzfeed unsolved.
Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.
fuck this reminds me of him. anna, you stalker
And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all.
no fuck, everything reminds me of him wtf
He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.
🧍u have a girl waiting for u back at home but i wont blame him
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less.
…… this hurts
Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.
but i am happy for him. It’s important to not base ur happiness on someone else !!
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control.
uh…. Wonwoo ??
“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!”
AOT MENTIONED
“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,”
…. ??? im offended
He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.
… yeah i think i know
The answer was you.
There it is
With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted.
oh it is warranted, trust me.
“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.
TELL IT, GIVE IT TO HIM, GYU
“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.
im hollering lmaooo
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes.
ok, i feel bad for him.
Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.
poor guy, didn’t even realise it.
What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?
💀 idk if i shud laugh im so sorry
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment.
nvm, this is so messy and so real
You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.
Bro, just grow a pair and go talk to her instead of coming to conclusions on ur own wtf
The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.
wonwoo, aren’t you her best friend? her sexual ventures now annoy you, hmmmmmmmm i seeee
Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.
slow burn, yearning, ah yes the only two things keeping me alive
“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.
🧍… i did not expect her to block him just like that but queen knows her worth !!
“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.
i ….. uhm … this is messy
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth. Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.
i feel bad for him but don’t balme her either rahhhhhh
“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.”
HUH?????????? WAIT WHAT. WTF OH NO NO
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.
oh ….. oh my god. wtf
He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less.
I KNEW IT
Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.
Nooooo, wonwoo. i am very shocked by the turn of events
Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?
damn this alluding to his prev relationships … makes me sick. I mean he didn’t know better but still …
“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.
😭wtf wonwoo
Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.
i get him but boy pls, this is not the way
His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.
understandable but stil smh
I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice.
SHE SAID IT, OMG SHE SAID IT
He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅
In Front of Me (1)
cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me ₊˚
⊹ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader ⊹ genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) ⊹ wordcount: 40.6k (part 1) (part 2: here)
⊹ summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.
⊹ tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (content warnings under the cut)
⊹ note: this story was meant to be posted for wonwoos bday, but if you know anything about me by now, i never really stick to my self made deadlines lol. thank you to my cutieful, big brained beta readers: ♡ @junkissed @chocosvt and @sunniques ♡ everyone in @svthub and @highvern and @gyuswhore who helped me w this fic as well ! if u look closely this is pretty much just a sugar coated version of real life events lol... anyways i hope u enjoy and lmk what u think thru the replies and reblogs :) !
⊹ masterlist, fic playlist.
⊹ smut tags: no smut in this part :p ⊹ warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p
⊹ what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ♡ i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!
prologue.
Despite your age, you’ve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone.
In all the years you’ve known Wonwoo, you’ve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings you’ve harboured for him since the eleventh grade.
He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldn’t even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his “next step” should be. The doting best friend that you are, you’d gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems.
“I just, I don’t have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?” he asked you over the phone.
Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits.
Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit.
“It’s not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?” you ask him, and he pauses to think.
“I don’t know, but I can’t stay, that would make things worse,” he sighs. “It’s better to just stop this whole thing now.”
“I agree, but are you sure?” you continue to ask him the same questions you’ve been asking since you were sixteen.
“I’m sure,” he replies with a heavy sigh.
“Okay, then goodnight. It’s almost one in the morning,” you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak.
“I’m not the bad guy, right?” he asks you for reassurance.
“No, you’re just human Wonwoo. There’s nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,” you affirmed.
“Alright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers listlessly.
“Good night, Wonwoo.”
Your phone beeps indicating that he’s hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?
act one, favorite crime.
chapter one.
“Wait, what? You and Wonwoo aren’t dating?” Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.
The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghan’s living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway.
It feels like every time you’re with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo haven’t thought about dating, or why you two haven’t decided to take the chance and just be together.
“You guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,” Wonwoo defends the two of you.
“You’re telling me in all the years you’ve known her, you haven’t developed feelings for her once?” Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide.
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.
“No, c’mon, we’re just friends. That’s it, right?” Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.
Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation.
“U-uh yeah, Wonwoo’s right, we’re just friends,” you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once.
“See? Now can you all just get off our backs?” he chastises.
The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwoo’s friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. He’s completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most people’s, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwoo’s feelings, and you also respect that whenever he’s dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts.
He becomes more detached when he’s in a relationship, and you’re okay with that. His priorities change and you’re okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you can’t force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.
You’ve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals don’t change just because you love him, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less to see the person you’re in love with, fall in love with someone else.
two.
“Hey, you okay?” Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m alright,” you mutter, but you know you don’t look that way.
Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when you’re not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite.
The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least that’s what you like to think. But your heart can’t seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,” he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear.
You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spill—not like this, not in front of so many people.
“It was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannie’s house,” you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend.
“What did he say?”
“That he’s never liked me before,” you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye.
Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesn’t have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate.
“It’s alright,” he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.
It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your university’s dining hall. But you’re thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldn’t help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice.
“You deserve more than this, I hope you know that,” he whispers in your ear.
three.
Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwoo’s past relationships is the perfect example. He’s not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?
You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you can’t let go of. No matter how many times you’ve tried.
A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you don’t remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway.
“Hey, sorry I didn’t text,” Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch.
“It’s okay, what’s up?” you move to sit beside him.
“I broke up with her,” He says, shrugging.
Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache.
“Well, how did it go?” you ask with a bit of apprehension.
Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. He’s never been bothered to really break up with someone.
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. It’s pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that you’re a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another.
“She was crying, but at least it’s over now,” Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table.
“Oh.” You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins.
It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but you’re not sure how to react. There’s a part of you that’s happy to know that he’s single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken.
Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information you’ve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions.
“Are you still going to Seokmin’s thing this weekend, though?” you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats.
He shrugs his shoulders, “If I feel like it. Are you?”
The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.
“I mean, I don’t have a ride so…” you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen.
“I’ll go since you’re going, that way you have a ride,” he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch.
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. You’re very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest.
Wonwoo’s arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything.
“Thank you for agreeing to go to Seokmin’s so I have a ride,” you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesn’t notice your flustered expression.
“Thank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,” he whispers back, kissing the top of your head.
“Of course, what are best friends for?”
four.
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
Falling in love with Wonwoo wasn’t gradual at all.
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.
When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldn’t fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didn’t stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokémon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.
When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates must’ve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man you’re in love with gained attention from people who didn’t even bat an eyelash at him last year.
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didn’t mean he was that much different from how he was last year.
Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time.
When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didn’t invite you for dinner as often, you two didn’t talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasn’t worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.
“I feel like I need to break up with Haein,” his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth.
Haein was Wonwoo’s first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you weren’t.
You couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?
Wonwoo’s first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.
“Oh. Why?” was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said.
“‘Dunno, I just don’t like her anymore,” he admitted effortlessly.
You didn’t know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically.
“Well, if that’s what you think is right,” you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again.
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didn’t want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings.
Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they weren’t. He’s never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones.
five.
By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didn’t exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you.
You’ve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him. The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him.
Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that it’s better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic you’ve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios.
‘What if he likes you back?’
‘You never know until you try.’
‘Take the risk or lose the chance.’
What if.
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesn’t let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit.
The possibilities are endless, and you’d rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.
A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. There’s excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen.
7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5.
There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldn’t help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that it’s something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary.
Everyone had planned to meet at Seokmin’s place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldn’t be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends.
Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasn’t a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokmin’s was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza.
Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know he’s outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is.
The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if it’s just from afar.
“Hi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,” your voice resounds into the night.
“It's never a problem if it’s you,” he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.
Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know you’ll think about it for the rest of the night.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks, smiling at you.
The ride to Seokmin’s house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.
…
The clock on Seokmin’s pale white wall is nearing midnight and you don’t want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didn’t catch. She’s Joshua’s childhood friend and he only brought her along because she’s visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwoo’s deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you weren’t sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesn’t realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.
Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokmin’s apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, and that’s what hurts the most.
“You doing okay?” Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.
“Huh? Oh. Yeah I’m okay,” you chuckle, but there’s nothing humorous about your laugh at all.
His eyes soften, he knows that you’re not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when you’re trying to save face. There’s a lump in your throat, and if you didn’t have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably would’ve gone to the bathroom to cry.
“You wanna talk in my room?” he offers, and you’re grateful.
Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you.
Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside.
As you sit on Seokmin’s bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why can’t you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and he’d be the first person you search for.
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? It’s tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that you’ll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
“It’s okay, just let it out,” Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug.
Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel.
“I know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,” Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. “You’re so hurt, and it’s taking a toll on you. Please, I can’t bear to see you so sad.”
His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though it’s not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself.
“I-I’m sorry,” you hiccup, tears staining Seokmin’s white shirt.
“Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,” he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions.
“Because, if I was normal, you wouldn’t have to worry about me, about why I’m always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,” you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist.
“Hey, look at me–” he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. “You are not a burden. We care, that’s why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.”
“Thank you, Seokmin. I’m so happy that I have someone like you in my life,” you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but he’s still somehow able to hug you even tighter.
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. He’s always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.
“I’m so tired, I’m tired of feeling like this,” you admit to him.
Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile.
“Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,” he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you.
“I want to feel better,” you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest.
“I care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but there’s a point where you’ll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,” he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know he’s right. “In the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in won’t do you any good.” He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said.
“Thank you, Minnie, I’m so thankful I have you,” you sniffled.
“And I you.”
…
Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night.
“Of course, it’s really no trouble at all,” Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them.
The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokmin’s, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. He’s not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoung’s way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened.
As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didn’t mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ.
“Soon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,” Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead.
“But you love it when I sing,” Soonyoung whines, and you can’t help but laugh.
“I do, but our friend has had a long night,” Jihoon counters.
Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. “If you want me to be quiet, I will.”
“No, it’s okay, I’m actually enjoying it, thank you very much,” you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics.
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind.
The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you.
Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didn’t know where else to go or what else to do.
Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and you’re scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep.
1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok?
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
chapter one.
Wonwoo’s ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but he’s too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didn’t even say goodbye. It’s the first time you went home from Seokmin’s place without him.
By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didn’t want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning.
Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing.
He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two?
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, it’s him that’s doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether you’re going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he can’t stand that feeling.
Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least that’s what he forces himself to believe. That it’s not fair of you to ignore him when he’s worried about you, because he’s your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been.
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps he’s conceited and selfish, but he doesn’t care. Because in his mind, you’re his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesn’t even consider it a possibility. You were busy, that’s it. That has to be it.
…
Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldn’t stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him.
12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?
Nothing. Not even a thumb’s up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing that’s so important that you couldn’t even open his message let alone read them?
1:27 p.m. [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didn’t give it to her though 😁
Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He can’t believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes it’ll be the text that finally gets you to respond.
2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u should’ve seen it! reminded me of u. [1 photo attachment]
Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of what’s worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.
4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today?
The sight of you getting into Seokmin’s car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.
4:30 p.m. [wons <3]: saw u get into seokmin’s car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw.
Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just can’t stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back.
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, he’s unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.
two, wonwoo’s summer before senior year.
The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over.
Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that he’d be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadn’t been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldn’t help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him.
He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldn’t be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.
Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldn’t care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldn’t do much but sit back and listen.
Much to his dismay, his parents hadn’t even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldn’t stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say.
There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldn’t bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore.
“Wonwoo! You’re all grown up now, and I can’t believe it,” Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, “You know, you’re still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?”
Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression.
“No they do, I don’t know maybe it’s my fast metabolism or something,” he refuted her claims. He couldn’t wait to get out of her sight.
“You know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,” she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance.
“Yeah maybe,” he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not you’ve texted him yet.
It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldn’t be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.
[4:15 p.m. kst] [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved] [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point i’ve turned all my mirrors backwards] [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! 🫶]
He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parents’ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.
Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat.
Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all.
[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment] [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing] [you: u better not snitch 😾] [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS] [you: ok thats enuff…txt me when u land!]
Wonwoo really missed you.
…
One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it.
He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break.
It was initially his brother’s convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwoo’s shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seongho’s encouragement had finally paid off.
Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasn’t so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasn’t all that bad-looking, after all.
Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home.
“You got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,” Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest.
His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym.
“Okay! You’re done, that was good,” his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips.
“Thanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,” he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle.
Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement.
“Uh, don’t look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,” Seongho tilted his head in the girl’s direction and Wonwoo couldn’t be more confused.
“Huh? Are you sure it's me they’re looking at and not you?”
“I’m serious! You should go talk to her,” Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo.
“Hyung!” Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses.
Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation he’d been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord.
“Hi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?” she asked him, batting her eyelashes.
“Uhm, I guess? I’m only here for the summer though,” he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say?
“Oh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.” Haein’s smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwoo’s.
Wonwoo’s actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.
“I’m Wonwoo.”
“Wonwoo, hmm, that’s a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,” she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep.
Wonwoo’s mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number.
They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer.
To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since he’s been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ah’s words weren’t so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation.
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.
…
The after-effects of Wonwoo’s surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadn’t worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldn’t find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for.
Wonwoo wasn’t entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on.
Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time.
…
Quite like the seasons, Wonwoo’s feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them.
Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested.
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didn’t Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didn’t see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks.
“It all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!” Wonwoo couldn’t contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didn’t seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out.
“I'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,” Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. “I just didn’t get anything that was happening.”
“Wait, really?” He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didn’t understand.
He didn’t understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday.
You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together. It had become you and Wonwoo’s thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend.
It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he should’ve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do.
“Honestly, I’m really tired, I’m gonna go to bed now okay?” Haein’s voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts.
“Oh okay. Night.” He said before ending the call so quickly that Haein’s ‘I love you’ was cut off mid-sentence.
Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didn’t want to say those words if he didn’t mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night.
Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didn’t want to pretend any longer, it would’ve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldn’t help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on.
Wonwoo’s relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldn’t keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasn’t sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.
three, present time.
The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didn’t know that.
“Are you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?” Mingyu lectures him.
The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwoo’s mind couldn’t help but wonder. He hasn’t been acting like himself since the night of Seokmin’s party.
“Oh, right.” Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table.
Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasn’t seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop.
“Not to be rude, but you’ve been looking like shit lately. What’s wrong?” Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didn’t have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins he’s had with you and Seokmin on campus, he’s begun to sense that it’s some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that it’s completely unwarranted.
Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. It’s uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he can’t help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you.
Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, there’s a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end.
“Thanks for that, asshole, I just haven’t been getting much sleep,” Wonwoo huffs.
“Okay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way you’ve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?” Mingyu presses.
It’s not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, that’s what you were for. However, he can’t talk about his problems about you, to you, so he’ll have to settle for the next best thing.
“Y/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokmin’s,” Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice.
For the past two weeks, he’s been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest.
Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friend’s situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyu’s reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny.
“Serves you right, you’re a dick to her, man.” Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.
“What?” Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend?
“How blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you can’t see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?” Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.
“I am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if I’ve ever said something to hurt her feelings,” Wonwoo defends himself.
Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he can’t seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you.
“You’re a dumbass.” Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more.
“Could you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me what’s going on?”
Shutting his laptop, Mingyu’s posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it.
“She cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. It’s not about what you’ve said to her, it’s your actions. Ever since we were in high school all you’ve done is use her to solve your problems. I can’t even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I don’t know what happened at Seokmin’s place for her to realize that, but you don’t deserve her,” Mingyu confesses.
Soaking up each word that left Mingyu’s mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he can’t seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you?
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesn’t want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth.
It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldn’t tell him anything?
Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but that’s romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because that’s how it's supposed to be.
Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwoo’s whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he can’t anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but he’s pushed you so far to the brink that you’d rather ignore him than attempt to hash out what’s been troubling you.
“I-I didn’t know that's how you guys saw our friendship,” Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend what’s been said to him.
“It’s not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I would’ve cut you off a long time ago.”
“Well, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this could’ve been said before she started ignoring me,” Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.
“It was kinda obvious, man,” Mingyu shrugs.
“Was it, though? If I had known, I would’ve at least tried to be better,” Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy.
“How about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,” Mingyu suggests.
Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyu’s advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldn’t even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he can’t go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought.
four.
For the first time in Wonwoo’s life, he’s unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time.
Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place.
Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldn’t help himself. He can’t help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. He’s such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?
After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwoo’s attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye.
“Shit!” Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you weren’t able to recognize it in the dead of night.
Boring holes into the back of Seokmin’s head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he should’ve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.
The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He can’t help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokmin’s visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.
He’s never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today.
Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he can’t ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didn’t go on any longer.
…
There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times he’s tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind. Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away.
There’s a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that you’re still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldn’t pick up.
Wonwoo wasn’t the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways he’s never acted before.
The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake.
One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose?
Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.
[12:52 a.m.] [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?] [not delivered]
The silence within the four walls of Wonwoo’s bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list.
Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwoo’s finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you don’t pick up, then that’s it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms.
“The number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,” an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.
The notification is gut-wrenching, but he can’t just sit here and pretend like it’s okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off?
five.
Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasn’t been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but it’s almost two in the morning and he’s still continuing to weigh his options.
It’s either you’ll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or you’ll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect.
He’s already lost his mind. This shouldn’t be the way you two break it off. It won’t be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation.
Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. There’s nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.
Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, “I think I should be asking you that. You clearly don’t live here.”
“Minnie? Is someone at the door?” your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day.
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth.
Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.
“Yeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,” Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwoo’s. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokmin’s expression had said more than his words ever could have.
Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokmin’s thick skin.
A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwoo’s tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your “neighbour” is looking for.
“Okay!” is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwoo’s stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen.
“Whatever you’re doing, she’s not gonna fall for it,” Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could.
Seokmin chuckles bitterly, “She already has.”
There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth.
Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such.
“You’re fucking sick, you know that?” Wonwoo practically spits in his face.
“I could say the same thing for you,” Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, “I didn’t have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.”
“I’m not just going to let you get away with something like this. She’s my best friend.”
“I think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,” Seokmin taunted.
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didn’t expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.
Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, “I think it’s time for you to leave. She doesn’t want to see you.”
The last few words that he heard come out of Seokmin’s mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost.
“By the way, don’t text her anymore. I’ve made sure she won’t get any more notifications from you.”
The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldn’t just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.
…
Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didn’t matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place.
After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.
With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokmin’s words hold any truth behind them.
Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldn’t end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same.
If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you haven’t let him speak.
As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?
Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like it’ll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away.
After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension won’t vanish and it’s starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing it’ll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin.
“Minnie? Did you leave something agai—,” Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.
“Wonwoo…” your voice falters, like you genuinely didn’t expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door.
“Did you fuck him?” Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.
His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesn’t have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home.
“Did you fuck him? Yes or no?” Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you don’t know who he's talking about. “C’mon, you know who I’m talking about,” he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him.
How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps it’s undeserving to do so, but Wonwoo’s frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.
“The past two weeks you’ve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?” Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness.
He didn’t plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression could’ve broken down every wall he’s built if only he hadn’t let his anger proceed him.
Wonwoo should’ve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down.
“Seokmin doesn’t care about you, and I’ll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?” He can’t stop talking.
“Stop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?” You cut off his rant. “Out of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesn’t matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesn’t involve you.”
“No. I’m just trying to help you. Seokmin isn’t the person that you think he is,” Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how you’re twisting his words.
The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwoo’s extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldn’t stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.
“That is exactly what we’re not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years we’ve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and I’m tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didn’t care enough to notice.
“I gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldn’t even come up for air. And I’m just sick of it. I know there’s a part of you that cares about me too, but it’ll never be equal. I’ll always love you more than you love me, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“What hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didn’t even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about? He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And that’s a lot more than I could ever say about you.”
Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause.
“Please. It’s late, you should go home,” you sigh, but Wonwoo couldn’t move an inch. He refused.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him.
“Wonwoo…” there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place.
“Please. I’m so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,” Wonwoo resorted to pleading.
A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.
The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too.
“It’s time for you to go. I’m tired, Wonwoo.” A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek.
He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart.
Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He should’ve known.
He should’ve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
end of act one.
⊹ a/n: if you liked this story pls dont be afraid to let me know thru a reblog, comment or ask! also a big ty to my beshies forever @vapidlynn and @bunnyjjongie who i've texted multiple times in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance abt this thing hehe.
#lola's recs <3#yall#this is easily one of the best wonwoo fics i ever read#i love it so much#can't wait to read part 2!!
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"I don't like your stupid, white hair."
"And I don't like your boring, brown hair, buddy."
"W-well... well, I don't like your ugly, doo-doo face!"
"Your mama does."
The two could go bickering like this for hours on end if you let them. What may seem to be a mutually digressive arrangement is actually an oddly adorable bonding in disguise. Satoru and your son put on a front of being annoyed at the other's presence, but you've never seen them apart for longer than a few minutes at a time. They've grown on each other; much like how moss grows on a statue that's been lingering out in the open. An indispensable cycle of life that's truly inevitable.
"No, she doesn't! She doesn't! She likes... sof- sofis... sofistogated guys."
"You mean sophisticated?"
"Shut up!"
You'd been terrified that your little one wouldn't have a father-figure to rely on anymore after you divorced your husband. However, it was something you had to do for his sake. The child deserved to live in an environment that wasn't always reeking of alcohol, where he wasn't subjected to the constant, drunk yelling of a pathetic excuse of a father who couldn't get his shit together and lazed around at home all day while you did all the work. If that meant that you'd have to raise him on his own, then so be it. At least he'd be raised properly. Signing those papers was, by far, the easiest decision you'd ever made.
"I'm not shutting up because a kid in clothes too big for him is telling me to."
"You... you're the one always wearing tight clothes around the house to impress my mama."
"No, that's because I'm ripped. Gotta show off what I've got. And your mama loves that."
"Oh, yeah? That means you show off your... your - um... ugly, doo-doo face!"
Would you regard it a miracle that Satoru just so happened to stumble into your life around that very time? Well, relatively. Meeting him wasn't something you'd planned, nor anticipated. The kind stranger who offered to pay for your order at a café a year ago has somehow, thanks to quite a romantic sequence of events, turned into your boyfriend; a rock to lean on for when you need the support. And, also, someone that your little one can look up to (with the fun, bonus benefit of the pair getting into silly, childish quarrels nine times out of ten). What is Satoru if not a three-hundred-and-thirty-six-month-old toddler, too? Puts your five-year-old to utter shame with the way he acts.
"Enough. Baby, we've been over this before. Behave."
"But, mama, he's being a meanie!" "But, babe, he's acting all pretentious."
The responses come simultaneously: one is high pitched and whiny, and the other is your son. Sometimes, you have to pause and ask yourself how you haven't gone insane yet. It's the love that keeps you from falling apart. How could you ever harbor any other feeling for these two, except for wanting to cherish them? You just... need to work on a pet name that doesn't apply to the both of them at once.
"I don't want to hear it. Sweetie, finish your lunch. And, Satoru?"
"Yes, honey-who-loves-me-and-my-'ugly, doo-doo'-face?" He's smirking, snickering, while saying this, the sly bastard. When will the pair ever relent on trying to one-up the other?
"Why have you got one of my hair ties on your wris- never mind. Don't forget to change the sheets in our room. I'd do it myself if not for the meeting I need to get to in an hour."
"Yes, ma'am."
Cue a tiny gasp.
"But, mama..." The voice of your little one breaks the peaceful silence at the dining table once again. His legs start kicking back and forth - a sign that he's growing restless - from the chair they're dangling off of. He's got a protest already forming up in that head of his. "Toru said he'd take me to the skate park today. And he promised to get ice cream after."
Toru, huh? That's new. You can't help the smile that paints itself on your lips. The two have been getting along pretty well, it seems, contrary to all the bickering they do. That's always nice to know. It's amusing to see the dynamic they've built. One second, they're riling each other up to no end, the next, they've already formed a secret alliance to go out and have fun together. How cute. "Is that so?"
"Mhm! So that means we need to leave riiight after I finish my lunch. Don't get mad, okay?"
It's the small things like these that warm your heart. Some sacrifices can be made if it's in regards to this adorable (step, even though you haven't married Satoru yet)father-son moment. The sheets are insignificant right now. "Awwh. Of course I won't get mad, baby. It's good for you to want to spend more time with Satoru. Isn't he a fun guy?"
"... maybe."
. . .
"Just make sure he's safe out there. Helmet and gear on at all times, no big ramps. And don't let him eat too much sugar. He'll get hyper. Once the rush dies down, he'll get cranky -"
Satoru's arm wraps around your waist before you can finish your sentence, pulling you overwhelmingly close to his frame. Instinctively, your arms move to wrap around his neck, just the way Satoru likes it. Oh, how he wants to just throw everything else out the window and drag you to the nearest room with a lock in place.
"You -" A quick peck to your lips, followed by a nibble on your bottom lip. "- worry -" Another peck. "- too -" Another. "- much." Then, an unexpected bite on the shell of your right ear. "I'd never allow myself to let that little demon get hurt; or hyper."
Large hands wander across the curve of your back, resting firm on your butt. Satoru doesn't want to expose your son to the way he's squeezing your plush flesh with his long digits, so he shifts to have your back pressed against the wall. A perfect opportunity to kiss you - which the man can't help but seize. What else is a smitten boyfriend to do while waiting for your son to get ready and come down from his room upstairs? Lips against lips until one of you pulls away for air. "He's safe with me, okay?"
"Okay."
"Atta girl. Now, you go that meeting of yours. And, tonight, after we both get back- oww."
"Groooss! Don't kiss my mama, or you'll make her ugly! Like youuu!"
"Baby, no. Don't kick Satoru's ankles-"
"I'm saving you, mama."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jujustsu kaisen x reader#fluff#gojo satoru#satoru gojo x reader#jjk satoru
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⟢ ⋮ introducing. . . surgeon!matt & governor's daughter!reader .ᐟ
the bustling port town of harrow's end was a stage for peculiar encounters, none more so than the day a surgeon named matthew sturniolo met the governor’s daughter, lady isabelle harrow.
matt, a deft and resourceful young man, was known as much for his skill in the operating room as for his knack for finding himself in dubious situations. his latest escapade had been a daring—but perhaps ill-advised—operation to save a smuggler who had taken a musket ball to the side. his success in the matter earned him a begrudging thank-you and a hastily paid fee, but also the ire of local constables.
୨ৎ
he was catching his breath in the governor’s lush gardens—having jumped over a stone wall to evade capture—when he spotted her. lady isabelle was a picture of grace in her pale blue gown, a parasol tilted over one shoulder as she examined the blossoms of a rose bush.
matt, nursing a scraped hand from his escape, attempted to retreat, but a dry twig underfoot betrayed him with a sharp crack. isabelle turned, her green eyes locking on him.
“you’re not supposed to be here,” she said, her voice steady, but her lips curled with the faintest trace of amusement.
“i could say the same,” matt replied, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “but then again, i doubt you’ve spent the morning fleeing armed men with more zeal than wit.”
“fleeing?” she echoed, intrigued despite herself. “a criminal, are you?”
“a healer, milady,” matt said with a bow. “though not every soul in this town shares my appreciation for discretion.”
isabelle tilted her head, studying him. his dark, unruly hair and sharp features gave him the air of a rogue, yet the confident way he spoke belied a sharp intellect. “a healer, you say? you seem rather... out of place for a man of medicine.”
matt grinned, his charm effortless. “true enough. but as luck would have it, one of my patients proved to have a poor temperament and an even poorer sense of secrecy.” he stepped closer, careful not to overstep propriety. “speaking of temperaments, yours seems remarkably calm, considering you’ve just stumbled upon a trespasser.”
isabelle smiled faintly. “perhaps i prefer intriguing trespassers to dull invitations.” she closed her parasol with a sharp click. “tell me, sir surgeon, what will you do if i summon the guards?”
matt chuckled softly. “i imagine i’d be in quite a bind, though i might wager my skill with words would buy me a head start. but you won’t, will you?”
“and why not?”
“because,” he said, meeting her gaze, “you’ve already decided i’m far more interesting than whatever ball or tea your father has dragged you into today.”
isabelle allowed herself a laugh, light and musical. “perhaps,” she admitted, “but that doesn’t mean you’ll escape unscathed. follow me.”
matt blinked. “follow you?”
“yes. it wouldn’t do for the governor’s daughter to be seen alone with a scoundrel.” she smirked. “you’ll play the role of my new physician until i can find a way to send you safely on your way.”
“your new physician?” matt said, raising an eyebrow. “i’m hardly dressed for the part.”
“lucky for you, i’m in charge here,” isabelle replied, her tone both commanding and mischievous. “now, come along, dr. sturniolo. let’s see if you’re as clever with people as you are with scalpels.”
with no better options, matt fell into step behind her, half in awe of the young woman’s audacity.
a/n... thank u so much for all likes, reblogs and comments under my first fic (and the follows)! that means so much to me really. hope u like this small introduction :) i literally love the artful dodger sm i just HAD TO write about matt. love u!
(lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist!)
© PPLEASEXANNY
#sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#ppleasexanny
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Lost in the Stacks
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader
AU: Coffee Shop Owner Steve x reader
Warnings: none just Robin and Steve things
Authors Note: I hope you enjoy, I was very passionate about my Stevie boy so take this long fic :) (I’m slowly getting use to writing more- bear with me-)
Word Count: 3.2k
Masterlist
MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+
The bell above the door jingled softly as you stepped into The Upside. The café-bookshop hybrid was a warm refuge from the gray skies outside, its wooden shelves lined with books, mismatched armchairs tucked into cozy corners, and the smell of coffee and baked goods filling the air.
Behind the counter, Steve Harrington was wrestling with the espresso machine. His dark green sweater hugged his frame in a way that made you linger for a second too long, and his hair looked as effortlessly perfect as ever.
“You’ve gotta finesse it, Harrington. Not scare it into submission,” Robin Buckley teased, grabbing a cloth and wiping the counter as she passed him.
“I don’t scare it—I tame it,” Steve retorted, though the machine sputtered indignantly, making Robin snort.
“Hey, you,” Robin said, looking up and spotting you. “Back for more of our famous customer service?”
You laughed, setting your bag on the counter. “Obviously. Where else can I get entertainment with my coffee?”
Steve glanced up, his expression softening when he saw you. “Hey! Usual?”
“Please,” you said, smiling. “But no rush. Looks like you’re in a heated negotiation over there.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, this thing hates me. I think it’s personal.”
Robin leaned over conspiratorially. “It is. And it’s winning.”
Steve rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his grin as he busied himself with your order. Robin gave you a sly wink before walking off to restock pastries.
It wasn’t just the books or the coffee that kept drawing you back to The Upside. It was Steve, with his clumsy charm and easy smiles, and Robin, whose sharp humor always made you laugh. Together, they made the place feel less like a shop and more like a second home.
Months ago, you’d stumbled into The Upside for the first time, drenched from an unexpected rainstorm.
Steve had been behind the counter, towel in hand before you could even ask. “Rough day?” he’d asked, his grin warm and teasing.
“You could say that,” you replied, wringing out your hair.
“Well, you’re in the right place. Best coffee in town. Also, books. You like books, right?”
“I think you’re supposed to ask that before recommending them,” you said, smiling despite yourself.
“Details,” he said with a wave of his hand. “What’s your usual? Or do you want me to surprise you?”
Before you could answer, Robin piped up from where she was shelving books. “Don’t trust him. He once made me a ‘surprise drink’ that tasted like dish soap.”
Steve scoffed, though his grin never wavered. “Ignore her. She’s bitter because she’s not the favorite coworker.”
“I’m your only coworker!”
That first visit had stuck with you—not just because of the cozy atmosphere but because of Steve’s awkward charm and the way Robin’s sarcasm balanced it out. You’d started coming back regularly after that, finding excuses to linger a little longer each time.
Over the weeks, your visits to The Upside became a steady routine. Steve always greeted you with a smile that seemed reserved just for you, and Robin never missed an opportunity to tease him about it.
One afternoon, Steve handed you a book along with your latte. “This just came in. Thought you might like it.”
You glanced at the cover, touched by the gesture. “Thanks, Steve. I’ll let you know what I think.”
Robin smirked as she passed by, muttering, “Smooth move, Casanova.”
Steve shot her a look, cheeks flushing.
Another time, you brought in a stack of books to donate. “Figured they’d get more love here than on my shelf,” you said.
“Great taste, as always,” Steve said, flipping through the titles.
Robin leaned over the counter, stage-whispering, “Just ask her out already.”
Steve glared at her, but his lips twitched with the ghost of a smile.
Steve leaned against the counter, pretending to focus on the list of inventory Robin had scribbled earlier, but his attention wasn’t on the task at hand. His eyes kept drifting toward you, seated at one of the tables near the window with a cup of coffee in front of you and a book in your hands.
The sunlight streaming through the window illuminated your features, catching in your hair and making you glow. You were engrossed in your book, an occasional smile or furrow of your brows giving away your thoughts as you read. Steve couldn’t stop watching, his heart pounding in his chest at every subtle movement you made.
Robin, sitting cross-legged on the floor behind the counter as she sorted through a box of new arrivals, didn’t miss his distracted expression.
“Oh my God, you’re doing it again,” she said, snapping her fingers at him.
Steve startled, straightening up. “Doing what?”
“That thing where you stare at Love like she’s the lead in some cheesy romantic movie,” Robin said, gesturing dramatically toward him.
Steve frowned, crossing his arms. “I’m not staring.”
Robin gave him a look that said she wasn’t buying it. “Oh, really? Because you’ve been ‘not staring’ at her for, like, ten minutes now. You’re lucky she hasn’t noticed.”
“She hasn’t noticed, right?” Steve asked quickly, panic creeping into his voice.
Robin rolled her eyes. “No, Steve, she hasn’t noticed. She’s too busy living her life while you’re over here acting like a lovesick puppy.”
“I’m not a lovesick puppy,” Steve muttered, though his flushed cheeks betrayed him.
Robin snorted. “Right. You just can’t stop staring at her because… what? You’re admiring her reading posture?”
Steve glared at her but didn’t respond.
Robin grinned, leaning forward. “You like her.”
“No, I don’t,” Steve said automatically, though he knew it was a weak denial.
“Please,” Robin scoffed. “You so like her. Don’t even try to deny it, Harrington. You’ve been crushing on her for weeks, and it’s getting painful to watch.”
Steve groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Fine, okay, yes—I like her. Happy now?”
“Ecstatic,” Robin said, her grin widening. “So why haven’t you done anything about it?”
“Because I don’t want to screw it up,” Steve admitted, lowering his voice. “What if I ask her out and it’s weird? What if she stops coming here?”
Robin’s expression softened, though her teasing tone remained. “Steve, listen to me: Love likes you. Trust me on this one. She laughs at all your terrible jokes, she lets you recommend books, and she spends way too much time here for someone who’s just into coffee and novels.”
Steve hesitated. “She might just… like the shop.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. She likes you. It’s so obvious. You’re just too chicken to admit it.”
“I’m not chicken,” Steve shot back, though his defensive tone only made Robin laugh.
“Really?” she said, standing up and brushing off her jeans. “Then why do you freeze up every time she walks over to talk to you?”
“I don’t freeze up!” Steve protested.
“Uh-huh,” Robin said, clearly unconvinced. “Look, Harrington, you’ve got two options: keep doing nothing and torture yourself, or grow a pair and talk to her like a normal person. Your choice.”
Steve groaned again, slumping against the counter. “Why do you have to make everything sound so dramatic?”
“Because it is,” Robin said with a smirk. “This is your big moment, Stevie. Don’t blow it.”
Steve sighed, stealing another glance at you. You were still focused on your book, completely oblivious to the conversation happening just a few feet away.
Suddenly, he straightened up, a thought popping into his head. “Wait… I have an idea.”
Robin raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? Do tell.”
Steve gave her a look, his fingers tapping nervously on the counter. “I’ll just… give her coffee. On the house. You know, as a little gesture.”
Robin’s eyes widened in amusement. “Wait, that’s it? You’re gonna give her free coffee? Wow, Harrington. Such a bold move.”
“Shut up,” Steve muttered, but a smile tugged at his lips. “It’s something.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky she likes you, because this is honestly the most anticlimactic thing I’ve ever heard.”
But Steve wasn’t listening. He was already making his way to the counter, clearing his throat before calling out to you, who was still absorbed in your book.
You looked up, smiling at him in that warm way that always made Steve’s heart skip a beat. “Hey, Steve.”
“Hey, Love,” he said, already fumbling with the coffee machine. He was trying to look cool, but his hands were shaking just a little.
“Can I get you a refill?” he asked, focusing more on the machine than on you.
Your eyes softened, your smile widening. “I was actually just about to ask for one.”
“Well, it’s on the house today,” Steve said, trying to sound casual but feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. “For you, Love.”
You blinked, clearly surprised by the offer. “Oh, wow. Thank you! That’s really sweet of you.”
Steve just nodded, still trying to avoid looking directly at you, as he poured the coffee into a fresh cup. He handed it to you with a nervous grin, which you returned.
“Anytime,” he said, voice a little more strained than he’d intended. He stepped back toward the counter, fighting the urge to keep staring at you.
Robin, of course, didn’t miss any of this. From across the room, she gave Steve an exaggerated thumbs-up and mouthed the words, You got this, making him groan internally.
You were already sipping your coffee, and Steve allowed himself to look at you again for just a second. You seemed genuinely pleased, the warmth of your smile making him feel lighter.
“Don’t back out, go for it” Robin says as she pats him on the back before going back to fixing the shelves.
It was a slow Tuesday afternoon at The Upside. The warm light streaming through the shop’s tall windows highlighted the specks of dust dancing lazily in the air. Steve was behind the counter, pretending to reorganize the coffee syrups but really stealing glances at you as you browsed the fiction shelves.
You had a small smile on your lips, your fingers brushing over the spines of books as you debated which one to pick. Steve thought you looked beautiful—effortlessly so—and it made his stomach twist in knots every time he saw you.
Robin, perched on the stool near the register, noticed his distracted glances and let out an exaggerated sigh.
“Steve, if you stare any harder, you’re going to set her on fire,” she whispered, leaning toward him.
“Shut up,” Steve hissed, his face immediately heating.
Robin grinned mischievously. “Oh, come on, Harrington. This is painful to watch. Just go over there and ask her out already.”
Steve shook his head quickly, his voice low but insistent. “I can’t just… I don’t know if she even likes me like that!”
Robin rolled her eyes, hopping off her stool and leaning her elbows on the counter. “Are you kidding me? She comes in here all the time. She laughs at your dumb jokes. She even lets you recommend books—and you have terrible taste in books.”
“I do not!” Steve protested.
“You do, but that’s not the point. The point is, she’s obviously into you. You’re just too chicken to see it.”
Steve opened his mouth to argue, but before he could get a word out, Robin stood up straight, clapped her hands together, and said loudly, “Hey, Sweetheart!”
Your head popped up from behind a shelf, a book in hand. “Yeah?”
“Can you come here for a second? Steve has something he wants to tell you.”
Steve froze, his face draining of color. “Robin!” he hissed, wide-eyed.
You walked over, your curiosity piqued. “What’s up?”
Robin smiled innocently. “Steve was just saying he—”
“Needs help with the espresso machine!” Steve interrupted, practically jumping in front of her.
You blinked, clearly confused. “You need my help?”
Robin snorted, folding her arms and leaning against the counter. “Nice save, Harrington.”
Steve glared at her before turning to you, his cheeks flushed. “No, I don’t—look, can we talk for a second? Alone?”
Your eyebrows lifted slightly, but you nodded. “Sure.”
Robin gave Steve a smug grin as she stepped away, muttering, “You’re welcome,” under her breath.
Steve led you toward one of the quieter corners of the shop, away from prying eyes (and ears). He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly nervous, and you couldn’t help but find it endearing.
“Okay,” he started, exhaling deeply. “So, uh, this is going to sound kind of dumb, but—”
“It’s not dumb,” you interrupted gently, giving him an encouraging smile.
That seemed to give him the courage to continue. “Right. Well, I’ve been, uh… I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now. But I kept chickening out, and then Robin decided to, you know, stick her nose in, because that’s what she does.”
You laughed softly, which made him relax a little.
“The thing is,” he said, his voice quieter now, “I really like you. And I’ve been wanting to ask you out, but I wasn’t sure if you’d… if you’d even want that.”
You blinked in surprise, your heart skipping a beat. “You like me?”
Steve nodded, his cheeks a little pink. “Yeah. I do. A lot. And if you don’t feel the same, that’s totally fine, I just… I had to say it.”
For a moment, you didn’t say anything, and Steve’s nerves seemed to spike.
“Love?” he asked cautiously.
You smiled, your voice soft. “I like you too, Steve.”
His eyes widened slightly. “You do?”
“Of course I do,” you said, laughing. “Why do you think I keep coming back here? It’s not just for the books or the coffee.”
Relief and joy washed over his face, and he let out a nervous chuckle. “Wow. Okay. That’s… that’s good. Great, actually.”
“So,” you said, taking a small step closer, “are you going to ask me out properly, or do I have to do it for you?”
Steve grinned, his confidence returning. “Right. Would you, uh, want to go out with me? Like, on a date?”
“I’d love to,” you said, your smile bright.
Robin, who had been shamelessly eavesdropping from behind a shelf, popped her head out with a triumphant smirk. “Finally! Took you long enough.”
Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Robin!”
You just laughed, feeling lighter than you had in weeks. Steve peeked at you through his fingers, his embarrassment fading when he saw how happy you looked.
“Guess that means I should start planning something great,” he said, his voice warm and teasing.
“You’ve got this, Harrington,” Robin called from across the shop, giving him a thumbs-up.
Steve shook his head, but he couldn’t stop smiling.
Steve had picked you up just after sunset, his car rumbling to a stop outside your house. You’d stepped out the door wearing something simple yet thoughtful, a soft smile on your face as you slid into the passenger seat.
“Wow,” Steve said, his voice soft, his eyes lingering on you for just a moment too long. “You look… amazing.”
You felt warmth rise to your cheeks. “Thanks, Steve. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
He chuckled, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. “Yeah, well, I figured I’d try to impress you.”
The car ride was filled with lighthearted conversation and a bit of nervous laughter, both of you falling into an easy rhythm despite the fluttering nerves. Steve drove you to a small, tucked-away diner on the outskirts of town, a place he’d discovered during one of his many aimless drives.
“It’s not fancy or anything,” he said as he held the door open for you, “but they make the best burgers in Hawkins. And the milkshakes? Life-changing.”
The interior was quaint, with vinyl booths and a glowing jukebox in the corner. The smell of sizzling food was inviting, and the soft hum of chatter created a comfortable atmosphere. Steve guided you to a booth near the window, where the glow of the streetlights outside cast a warm light over the table.
The conversation started light—books you’d recently read, Steve’s stories about running the shop with Robin (“She’s like a tornado, but I wouldn’t trade her for anyone”), and the little quirks of Hawkins.
“Okay, serious question,” Steve said, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table. “If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“Pizza,” you replied instantly. “Easy.”
“Solid choice,” he said, nodding approvingly. “But you haven’t lived until you’ve tried the waffles from Benny’s. We’re talking top-tier breakfast food. You’ll see—I’ll take you there sometime.”
The way he said it so casually—like there would definitely be another date—made your heart skip.
By the time the food arrived, you were both relaxed, laughing over Steve’s high school antics.
“So you’re telling me,” you said, trying to suppress a giggle, “you actually styled your hair for gym class?”
“Hey,” he said defensively, though his grin gave him away. “It’s called priorities. And anyway, it worked. My hair survived dodgeball.”
“Barely,” you teased, taking a sip of the milkshake he’d insisted you try. It was, as promised, incredible.
Steve reached for his own shake at the same moment, knocking his hand against yours. The cup tipped slightly, and a streak of chocolate landed on the table—and on your sleeve.
“Oh no,” Steve groaned, grabbing a handful of napkins. “I’m so sorry. This is why Robin calls me a walking disaster.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s fine. Really. Chocolate’s a good look for me.”
He glanced up, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. “You’re taking this way too well. Most people would be plotting revenge by now.”
“Maybe I’m saving it for later,” you teased.
After dinner, Steve suggested a walk to help you “digest” (and maybe work off the milkshake fiasco). The park was quiet, the air cool and crisp as leaves rustled underfoot.
Steve walked beside you, his hands shoved in his pockets, occasionally glancing your way as if to make sure you were still enjoying yourself.
“You know,” he said, his voice softer now, “I was kind of nervous about tonight.”
“Why?” you asked, surprised.
He shrugged, kicking a small rock along the path. “I guess I didn’t want to screw it up. You’re… different. In a good way. I wanted tonight to be perfect.”
You stopped walking, turning to face him. “Steve, it’s been perfect. Milkshake disasters and all.”
He laughed, his eyes crinkling in that way that made your heart flutter. “Yeah? You mean that?”
“I do,” you said, and for a moment, the world seemed to quiet around you.
When Steve walked you to your door, the nerves he’d managed to shake off earlier crept back in.
“So,” he said, rocking on his heels. “This was… really fun.”
“It was,” you agreed, smiling.
“I, uh, I’d like to do it again sometime,” he said, his voice hopeful.
You nodded. “I’d like that too.”
For a moment, it looked like he might leave it there, but then he stepped closer, brushing a soft kiss against your cheek. “Goodnight, love”
“Goodnight, Steve.”
As he walked back to his car, a little bounce in his step, you leaned against your door, already looking forward to the next time.
The next time you walked into The Upside, the bell jingling above your head, Steve’s grin was a little brighter. And when Robin saw the way he looked at you, she just smirked.
Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜
#x reader#steve x you#steve harrington x y/n fluff#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#stranger things fluff#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things
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hi I love your arcane viktor and mylo stories a lot 👀 and I have a request!
Could you do one where Y/N (who is his girlfriend in this) is hurt and she almost starts to cry because of the pain but Mylo is there to give her comfort and treat her wounds?? And maybe try to make her laugh by his stupid jokes to distract her pain (I just know that guy is a softie on the inside)
Hope this isn't much keep up the good work!! :3
Omg thank you so much for your request! I'm so happy to receive these and also to hear you like my fics is making me all giddy inside^^ I will absolutely do your request as fast as possible bc to be honest. I appreciate that you love Mylo too! It's hard to find fics with him. So here it is! I hope you like it and I didn't disappoint you^^
Patchwork and Punchlines
Characters:
• Y/N (Your Name)
• Mylo’s girlfriend, resourceful and tough, but injured during a skirmish.
• Mylo
• Sarcastic and witty, but shows his softer, caring side when Y/N gets hurt.
Pairing:
Mylo x Reader
Trigger Warnings:
• Violence and Injury: Includes a brief chase, Y/N being hit and injured, and receiving medical attention.
• Pain and Medical Treatment: Mentions of stinging pain and treating a bleeding wound.
• Mild Blood Imagery: Brief reference to blood and bandaging a wound.
Masterlist
Words: 1149
--- Zaun was no stranger to chaos, but tonight seemed particularly hostile. The air was thick with tension as you and Mylo darted through the crowded streets, weaving between towering pipes and makeshift bridges. A simple errand—delivering a small package for Vander—had spiraled out of control when a group of hostile enforcers appeared out of nowhere, barking orders and swinging batons.
"Split up!" Vi had shouted over her shoulder, already leading Powder and Claggor down another alley.
That left you and Mylo with no choice but to head the opposite direction, deeper into the winding maze of Zaun. The shouts of the enforcers echoed behind you, growing louder with every second.
“We’re gonna die!” Mylo yelled, narrowly avoiding a stack of crates as he sprinted ahead of you. “I knew this would happen! I said this was a bad idea, didn’t I?”
“You say everything is a bad idea!” you shot back, struggling to keep pace with him.
Suddenly, an enforcer burst out from a side alley, cutting off your path. His baton gleamed under the dim industrial lights as he swung it toward you. Instinctively, you ducked, the baton grazing your shoulder instead of smashing your face. The force of the blow sent you stumbling into a stack of barrels, the sharp edge of one scraping your arm as you fell.
“Y/N!” Mylo skidded to a stop, his eyes wide as he turned back to you.
“I’m fine!” you lied, clutching your arm as you scrambled to your feet. The pain was sharp and immediate, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins forced you to keep moving.
The enforcer lunged again, but this time Mylo stepped in, jabbing his elbow into the man’s stomach and yanking you out of harm’s way. “Fine, huh? You’re bleeding, genius!” he snapped, dragging you toward a narrow alley.
“Yeah, well, I’d rather bleed than get arrested!” you retorted, wincing as your arm throbbed.
“Good point,” Mylo muttered, glancing over his shoulder as more enforcers poured into the street behind you. “But I’d rather not do either.”
The two of you ducked into the alley, Mylo practically shoving you forward. The path twisted and turned, the walls closing in as the sound of pursuit grew fainter. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you reached a dead end.
“Great. Just great!” Mylo hissed, pacing back and forth. “We’re trapped! This is how it ends, isn’t it? Beaten to death by enforcers because Vi couldn’t keep her mouth shut.”
You slumped against the wall, exhaustion and pain catching up to you. “Stop panicking for five seconds, Mylo. We lost them.”
He froze mid-rant, his gaze snapping to you. “You’re kidding, right? What if—”
“I said we lost them,” you interrupted, gesturing toward the silence around you. “Now, can you just—ugh—focus on this instead?” You pulled your hand away from your arm, revealing the blood-streaked tear in your sleeve.
Mylo’s face paled. “Oh, crap. That’s… that’s not good.”
“It’s not that bad,” you lied again, though the tears welling in your eyes said otherwise.
He crouched down in front of you, his earlier panic replaced by something softer. “Not that bad? Y/N, you’re leaking! People don’t just casually leak!”
---
You leaned against the wall, biting your lip to keep from crying out. Blood seeped through the tear in your sleeve, the sharp sting of the cut making your vision blur.
Mylo was crouched in front of you, his hands hovering as if unsure what to do. His usual snarky confidence was replaced by wide eyes and furrowed brows. “Okay, okay, don’t freak out,” he said, mostly to himself. “You’re not dying. Yet.”
You shot him a glare through the haze of pain. “Not helping, Mylo.”
“Right, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck, visibly flustered. “I’ve got this! Totally. Just… give me a second.”
He rummaged through his satchel, pulling out a ragged strip of cloth and a bottle of something that smelled like it could melt steel. His face softened when he glanced at your pale features, a rare crack in his sarcastic armor. “Hey, I’ll fix you up, alright? I’m practically a doctor. You can call me… uh, Dr. Mylo.” He grinned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Licensed in talking too much and patching up badasses like you.”
You tried to chuckle, but it came out as more of a wince. “Doesn’t sound very reassuring.”
He kneeled closer, dabbing the cloth in the makeshift antiseptic. “Okay, this might sting a little. Like, maybe a lot. But you’re tough, right?” His voice wavered, betraying the nervousness he was trying to hide.
When the cloth touched your wound, a sharp hiss escaped your lips, and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. Mylo froze, his hand halting mid-motion. “Whoa, whoa, Y/N—don’t cry!” he blurted, his voice rising an octave. “I mean, not that you can’t cry if you want to, but—uh—oh, crap, I’m terrible at this.”
You couldn’t help but let out a weak laugh at his panic. “Mylo, you’re so bad at this.”
“Hey, that’s rude. I’m saving your life here!” He smirked, clearly relieved by the sound of your laugh. “I mean, without me, who’d patch you up? Vi? She’d probably just punch the wound closed.”
“Powder?” you teased.
“Powder would just throw glitter on it and call it a day.”
The image of Powder sprinkling glitter over a bloody wound made you laugh despite the pain. Mylo grinned, clearly pleased with himself, and gently continued cleaning the cut. “There we go, see? You’re already looking better. Laughing hurts less than crying, right?”
As he worked, he kept up a steady stream of ridiculous jokes and commentary. “You know, if you keep getting hurt like this, I’m gonna start charging you. I don’t work for free, you know.”
“Oh, really? What’s your price?” you asked, your voice steadier now.
“Hm…” Mylo tilted his head, pretending to think. “How about you buy me dinner? Or, I dunno, just kiss me better when I inevitably stab myself trying to open a can or something.”
You smiled through the lingering sting of the antiseptic. “Deal.”
With the wound cleaned and bandaged, Mylo sat back on his heels, brushing a lock of hair out of your face with uncharacteristic tenderness. “See? Told you I’d fix you up. Not bad for a street rat, huh?”
“Not bad at all,” you admitted, feeling a warmth in your chest that had nothing to do with the injury. “Thanks, Dr. Mylo.”
He chuckled, the sound softer now. “Anytime, Y/N. But seriously, next time? Duck faster.”
You rolled your eyes, but your smile didn’t fade. Mylo might have been a cocky, sarcastic pain most of the time, but when it mattered, he was there for you. And as he leaned in to press a quick, awkward kiss to your forehead, you realized you wouldn’t trade him for anything.
---
#fanfic#oc#fanfiction#arcane mylo x reader#mylo x reader#mylo arcane#mylo arcane x reader#arcane mylo#Mylo x yn#request completed#Arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane fanfiction#arcane x reader#Arcane mylo#arcane zaun#arcane enforcers#zaun#Mylo#Fanfiction#Request open
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"Apparently a return of true royalty~" Phoebus said as he was swinging his sword skilfully to red of the shard demons, and then hummed while letting out a breath, "And there are forces that are preventing them from coming to where they belong."
"Don't get distracted, Captain Sun God~" Jasmine was flipping and jumping like a speedy rabbit at how she was taking down monster after monster, using parkour and a lot of her weapon in the air. She landed gracefully on the ground and then stood up, some black goop from the monsters stained her face, "After all, I have a feeling their boss is nearby controlling them..."
Phoebus frowned as he was then nodding, "Right..."
It was then Phoebus saw how Sano and Hak were finishing up the fight and then placed his sword away, knowing that the battle was over with. But now they have to sniff out the rat that brought these monsters in the first place.
As that was going on, Hime watched Prince Dantè with wide eyes, her eyes suddenly sparked in gold but it was gone as soon as it came. But she nodded and soon rushed in the portal and both Amiboshi and Maria followed. Bambi was the last to go in, but let out a loud cry of pain when one of the dying shards aimed it's claws as a last act before it was killed...
"BAMBI!" Hime yelled when the buck stumbled out and fell to the ground, seeing the blackening veins appearing on the hind legs of her companion, "No, no, no, no--"
"Princess--" Amiboshi skidded to his knees and checked over the creature, his eyes softening before looking at Maria, "Lady--"
"I'm on it!" Maria was quick to place her hands above her hands over the deer's legs and tried to extract the cursed wounds and heal him, closing her eyes as her hands started to glow.
Hime hiccuped with tears as she placed Bambi's head onto her lap carefully, stroking his head as his breathing seemed to be too low and slowing, and she tried to comfort him, "Please don't go, please!"
"Considering Faith is trying to take advantage of Zen, there's no doubt that she might also try to take him out for power as soon as his uses are up," Edward hummed as he was leaning back in his chair before breathing out, "What sort of hold does she have on him?"
"Maybe the promise of finding Shirayuki and Obi's souls without going through Truth and it's Law of Equivalent Exchange...?"
Edward sat up for a moment with wide eyes as he looked to his brother, then he shook his head with a scoff, "Doubt. There's no way that woman would be stupid enough to dangle the impossible. Even if she managed to help Zen revive a few, but that's mostly because of some loopholes. Zen would have to give up something greater than himself to bring back people personally for his own gain..."
"...Unless he has a Holy person. Like a Saintess." Alphonse pointed out as he looked to the Council, "I've heard the rumours. That there is indeed a woman of that title going around Kingdoms. And Zen will be definitely interested..."
"Okay, you didn't tell me that during your solo-patrol," Edward narrowed his eyes at Alphonse, who shrugged.
"I didn't think of it important...at first," Alphonse murmured before he had a serious look on his face, "That was until I got realiable news from one of our own, they witness her revive an army from a small country before their very eyes..."
Milo hummed as he was skimming through the shelves but then glanced up at the other before turning to Wěi qí, "While I can read to my hearts content, there are just some that I cannot be allowed to touch. Which, I respect..."
It was then he sat himself down comfortably in the couch, and gestured for Wěi qí to sit by him, "So...how are you?"
Davion looked at the pictures and his eyes watered and he let out a slight sob. Gods, he has truly missed so much. The fact that he sees the kids, grown up and there are others that were tenderly loved and cared for by his two soulmates...it honestly was a sight.
And he was not in it.
He leaned against Beelzebub and took a breath, just letting out his silent cry of missing everything, and that he was glad to be alive once more. Never again will I lose anyone or lose myself...
"Let the White King try, Ed. Doing so would mean to undo the seal, and we all know that our Emperor has been eager to set us free once again." Carmen reminded the alchemist. "Investigating us would also be pointless, as the same issue would arise."
Iago seconded that, but he also admitted that they can't put anything past Zen. "So I vote we take caution, Carmen. Better to side on that and ensure that our Emperor doesn't lose Davion again." "Agreed, Iago. None of us desire to see our Emperor lose one of his loves." Carmen replied and gave a nod before the next subject came about: what else the Elric Brothers learned.
One of the other females, a dark elf, asked if Ed heard from their little spy within the walls. "Lord Typhon has pointed out that with Faith making herself comfortable by the White King's side, then we should be prepared for anything that damned Bitch throws our way."
Citalee and the others agreed before letting the brothers take their stand.
Laughing at Eric's cute and obvious crush on his nephews, Wěi qí waved as the fallen prince headed back to where the boys were. "That'll help soothe Yun's worry." He added with a soft giggle. Sometimes, he wondered if-ah, well, that would come sooner than he expected. "Ah, young love."
Letting Milo inside, he chuckled and nodded at his question. "Yun did say that you have access to the entire library." With the extracted promise that Milo would not read anything aloud lest he was told that the book he may have is safe.
Wěi qí led Milo to the area he had been in, which had their tea and snacks waiting. And yes, it had the books that he loved to read in this area.
Back with Davion, Beelzebub smiled and set his glass aside before hugging the dragon knight. "Oh Baby, that ain't wishful thinking...it's sweet." The demon king replied as he shed a few tears. "Losin' you took a toll on both of us. And the kids."
He summoned a family photo showing Davion, the five boys who were the dragon knight's sons. Stephan had grown into a confident, if not mischievous, tide dragon, Li hanging off of him and appearing just as innocent as ever. But the trio that Davion had yet to meet were none other than Onyx, Eclipse, and Ivory, who was holding their service animal, a lion who looked a LOT like a certain lion's former uncle.
Before any harm could come to Hime, a roar was heard and then what looked like black spikes appeared from the shadows, impaling the Mirror Shard Creatures. "I REALLY hate these buggers."
It was none other than Prince Dantè who whistled for his familiars to take care of the shard creatures, and then, he turned to face the group. "Use the shadows, they'll get you to the town square and to safety. Mim, Archimedes, guide Hime and her companions."
The shadow wolves barked before flanking Bambi's side, nudging him to show that they wouldn't attack while keeping the group safe. "Go. I'll meet you there!"
With Sano and the others, members of the town saw what was happening, and someone sounded the alarm. And that was when the sound of the conch shell was heard, causing the town to cheer.
Polaris and her crew arrived in the nick of time!
"Kaito, FIRE!"
A laugh that sent the town scattering only to be drowned out as the s cannons fired, the balls directly hitting the Mirror Shards. And of course, Sano's group was shielded by a certain sea dragon who sighed. "Whoopsies...Sorry!" Kaito barked at the group.
"Blithirin, Ejit..." The dragon growled before noticing Phoebus and Jasmine. "Blithirin' Nine Hells...What that lass see to send in her top four?"
#::ic#::long post#//so much going on#//and I'm here eating oranges enjoying every second xD#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Phoebus::⋙◕╟❖╢❀#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Jasmine::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Hime::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Amiboshi::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Maria Campbell::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Bambi::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Edward Elric::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Alphonse Elric::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Milo Thatch::⋙◕╟❖╢#❀╟❖╢◕⋘::Davion::⋙◕╟❖╢
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so i left the mormon church as a teenager (15ish? 16?), but stayed in attendance until i was 20. i was pretty up front about the whole deciding-it-wasnt-true process with my bishop, who frankly took it really well, but it wasnt like i pulled all 150 ward members aside and had a heart to heart with them. anyway, i didnt believe, so at 19 i didnt go on a mission, and while some people in the ward were totally fine with that, others werent. and there was one woman in her late 50s who pulled me aside one day to interrogate me why i hadnt gone on a mission.
"the duty of every young man" she said.
and the thing is, im autistic. and a lot of people assume that when youre autistic, your social skills just arent very good. but thats not exactly true. your Be Polite skills are kind of eh, and they tend to stay that way, but as a sort of survival mechanism your Be Rude skills become amazing simply because you get put in tons of situations where your choices are to Function or Be Polite. and no one can choose Be Polite forever. the world demands function, it merely encourages politeness.
anyway, it can really catch neurotypicals by surprise, because hey, heres this kind of awkward, graceless guy, who stumbles over his words a lot and is very apologetic. hes probably a huge pushover. but i'm only like that when we're playing The Polite Game, because i am frankly kind of bad at it. but when its time to play The Rude Game, i go fucking ham and asking about the not-going-on-a-mission thing is Super Rude. so i said:
"sister hadlock... they wont let me go because i lit-er-ally cannot stop sucking dicks. i dont know why, its just so, so hard."
*dramatic pause*
"also - its very difficult to stop."
anyway, it almost killed her. i think she'd expected to just kind of steamroll me for the entire conversation, but the answer crushed her soul. instead of continuing her interrogation she made a noise like a horse drowning in a bog and left.
to add insult to injury, she went to the bishop after that, thinking he'd chew me out for being an ass, but instead he chewed her out for not minding her own business. then she went to my parents after that, who basically went "yeah, babylon was pretty rude. but youre also pretty rude. what are you, mad that he's better at it than you?"
i really loved that ward.
#mormon#exmormon#that ward was actually very kind to me#i know a lot of exmos have horror stories about getting ostracized but i only wound up leaving when i moved to my college campus#and ive just never been interested in attending anywhere else because it wasnt about Mormonism#it was about those guys#the village that raised me
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Taste - Max Verstappen x Singer! Reader
Summary: She’ll just have to taste you when he’s kissing her. When Max and Kelly break up, the pair of you start something sweet. But, it only lasts a short while when your conflicting schedules drive him back into her arms.
Warnings: Kelly Piquet slander.
Requested: No, I’m just obsessed with making up fantasies whilst I drive home from work with my music on
Faceclaim: Sabrina Carpenter (yes, I know she’s used a lot but I stole her song and her occupation so why not steal her face)
F1 Masterlist
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f1wags just posted
liked by user1, redbullracing and others
f1wags max verstappen and kelly piquet both confirmed they have seperated, posting a short statement on their instagram stories. the news comes after months of speculation after explosive arguments were caught on camera
3,306 comments
user1 omg did anyone see that red bull admin liked this and then unliked it
user2 thank god! i’ve been waiting for this day for ever
user3 can we see him date someone his own age now that didn’t go after him when he was a teen?
user4 finally! turns out manifesting works
user5 he always looked so upset after they argued. hopefully he finds someone good for him
user6 hear me out, but how hot would he look with yn ln
→ user7 like they’d ever cross paths. he’s an athlete and she’s a pop star
→ user6 yes but my point is that they would look hot together
→ user8 he did have one of her songs playing in the background of a stream once?
user9 i love how she’s really laying it on thick in hers and he’s just like “yeah, it’s over”
→ user10 we love an unbothered king
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mclaren just posted
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and others
mclaren we have a special guest in the garage this weekend. thank you @/yn_ln for joining us
6,098 comments
yn_ln thank you so much for having me! i had an amazing weekend but i don’t think i’ll be in a rush to do hot laps again
→ landonorris don’t be like that. i know you had fun!
→ yn_ln idk who trusted you with a licence but they should be fired
→ landonorris idk why they call you short and sweet :(
user1 she looks soooo good wtf liked by maxverstappen1
oscarpiastri it was really fun having you in the garage. thank you for making lando seem tall. now he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the weekend
→ yn_ln f1 girlies, can you tell me if he’s dating the curly haired one?
→ oscarpiastri well played. i apologise for bringing your height into this
→ user2 yes, yes they are, yn
user3 chat, is this real? my fave singer in my fave team’s garage! two worlds colliding
charles_leclerc omg please stop by ferrari. my girlfriend, alex, absolutely loves you
→ yn_ln come pick me up! (‘cause i don’t know my way around the paddock) and i’d love to meet her
user4 omg somebody tell max. i hope she gets lost and stumbles into red bull
→ user5 my delusions might come true if that happens
→ user6 he saw her when charles was walking her over to ferrari
→ user4 and?!
→ user6 nothing. he turned around and went back into the garage
→ user7 yeah after he went bright red!
f1wags just posted
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f1wags only two months since his split from model, kelly piquet, max verstappen has been linked to singer, yn ln. the pair have been spotted numerous times on dates and caught in moments of affection
2,999 comments
user8 yn’s clothing brand liked this!
→ user9 that doesn’t mean anything?
→ user8 well, considering that is her own brand, and they’re a part of her image, i’d say it means something
user10 anyone else notice that they’re wearing different outfits in every photo, which means they’re all from different days/dates
user11 i’m going feral
user12 okay but you can’t even deny that this is them because it very clearly is
user13 people said i was crazy when i talked about these two being together!
user14 they’re so hot together. i might actually combust
user15 i’m (s)creaming
user16 the hand holding 🥹 they’re not just fucking
user17 my new otp
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kellypiquet just posted
liked by maxverstappen1, piquetjr and others
kellypiquet my 🩷
2,987 comments
maxverstappen1 ❤️
→ user1 aha this is such a dry response lmao
user2 wtf? i thought he was with yn
→ user3 that was just a rumour
user4 he looks much better with yn
→ user5 yeah but she can’t give him the stable relationship he needs so no wonder he went back to kelly. she’s always there lmao
→ user6 yeah because she never lets that man go. she’s possessive and it’s not healthy
user7 max is so cute with p
user8 my favourite thing about this post is that all of these pics are old because max is currently in a press conference with his long hair, not these short strands
user9 how could he leave yn like this? they were so cute together
(comments on this post have been disabled)
yn_ln just posted
liked by landonorris, kellypiquet and others
yn_ln in honour of my tour starting, please enjoy my new single taste! 💋
14,033 comments
user1 omg a new album, a new tour and an additional song?
alexandrasaintmleux got this on repeat
→ charles_leclerc this is true. it’s all we’ve had in the car
→ alexandrasaintmleux don’t act like you don’t know all the words
user2 this was 100% written because of the max situation
jennaortega but how hot do we look
user3 not kelly liking this!
→ user4 i like to think the middle picture is aimed at her for stealing yn’s man
redbullracing blue is definitely your colour
→ mclaren she looks better in orange
→ scuderiaferrari we think she should try red next
→ yn_ln i’ll wear whatever colour invites me to watch rich men drive around in circles next
→ alpinef1team pink it is!
landonorris i liked the parts where you died
oscarpiastri oh so you’re allowed to make height comments but i wasn’t?
→ yn_ln please refer to the middle picture
user5 chat, i can’t stop thinking about “he pins you down on the carpet, makes paintings with his tongue”
→ user6 max verstappen, i was not familiar
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yn_ln just posted
liked by redbullracing, oscarpiastri and others
yn_ln i heard there’s some sort of race on so i thought i would show some support. let’s play spot the team
10,001 comments
user7 omg did you see that charles and alex were there!
→ user8 and pierre and kika
→ user9 well, we know who got charles in the divorce
user10 we all know who red bull wants in max’s garage 👀
→ user11 the fact that they liked a gossip post of him dumping kelly and are now all over yn’s insta
user12 okay but the placement of the bulls has me weak in the knees
user13 who’s your favourite driver?
→ yn_ln daniel ricciardo
→ danielricciardo showing this to everyone i know
→ user14 does that include max? liked by danielricciardo
user15 we love a petty queen because you can’t tell me the writing isn’t aimed at kelly and max
→ user16 and the bull instead of the kiss
mclaren we’re hurt. truly hurt that you didn’t post a pic with our logo
→ yn_ln you have a whole insta post dedicated to you!
alexandrasaintmleux the hottest concert i’ve ever been to
→ charles_leclerc still can’t believe she arrested you when i was right there
landonorris does this mean you can come to the race? like you’re practically already there??
→ oscarpiastri i second this
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requests open. i'm just slow haha
coming soon; lewis hamilton baby angst
this wasn’t due out until next week but MAX WON!!! And so I’m posting this in honour of that. I’m just sorry this was planned as angst 😬😂
tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one drabble#formula one fluff#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen drabble#max verstappen headcanon#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x reader
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Drinks and Jackets
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: lando comes home drunk and doesn’t recognize you, and you can’t help but swoon at the devotion your boyfriend has for you
warnings: drinking, slight cursing
word count: 0.9k
・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.
A long sigh left Lando’s lips as he pushed his bedroom door open, stumbling slightly in his steps as he did so, needing to cling onto the door frame for support so he didn’t go flying face first into the carpeted floor of his bedroom.
After inhaling a deep breath from his nose- the man's eyebrows furrowed in concentration- he pushed off of the frame and attempted to shrug his jacket off of his shoulders. Which only ended in him banging into the wall next to his bed with a small, “Ow,”.
“Lan?” A soft voice rang through the darkness of the room after the thud was emitted.
Norris jumped at least a foot into the air with a small, high pitched squeal of surprise, whipping around with wide eyes just in time to see a figure turn on the lamp beside the bed.
You were tiredly rubbing at your eyes, pushed up on one elbow as you looked at him from across the room, imminently taking note of his wide eyes and tousled hair. Not to mention the fact that he only had one arm through the sleeve of his jacket.
Slight amusement crept onto your features when you realized you had startled him, though a hint of guilt kept you from openly laughing as you gently asked, “Are you alright?” Sleep lacing your tone.
The wide eyes of Lando didn’t shrink. In fact, they only seemed to widen as he looked at you as if you had suddenly grown two heads right before his very eyes, “Who are you?” He hissed, panic and confusion seizing his tone.
At his words, all of the exhaust suddenly disappeared from your body and you finally pushed yourself to fully be sitting up, now wide awake and alert, “What-”
You didn’t even get to finish voicing your bewilderment before Lando- literally- stumbled over his own feet to reach the opposite side of the bed you were sitting on, “That’s my girlfriend's spot!” He exclaimed, eyes still wide as he stared at you.
Your eyebrows drew downwards, “I know, it-”
“Listen, I’m warning you lady, you need to get out of here before she gets back.” He was nodding along to his own words. While he clearly thought he was looking very serious- and maybe even threatening- it was difficult to even consider him whilst he looked hilarious. Clearly drunk and jacket half hanging off of him.
And just like that, the mumsnet flickered back inside of you and a slow grin slowly lifted the corners of your lips, “Is that so?” You asked, playing along when you realized just how drunk he was.
Lando nodded again, “Yeah, and she could kick your ass.” He said it so matter of factly with his chin raised, clear pride laying in his words, even as wasted as he currently was.
Unable to hold it back anymore, you let the first chuckle slip out of your lips as you pushed yourself to your knees and made your way over to the other side of the bed until you were in front of him at eye level.
You reached out and hooked your arms around his neck, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at him lovingly, “And what if I wanted to kiss you right now?” You teased.
Just as the brunette man's eyes widened in a panic and he looked as though he was going to move to swat you away, he froze, blinking once. Twice. Three times at you.
“Love?” He looked like a little, lost puppy dog when he tilted his head to the side, the first bit of recognition flaring through his eyes when he finally realized that it was you in front of him, not some random girl sleeping in his bed.
“You had fun with Carlos and Danny, I take it.” You joked, subconsciously toying with his curls.
“Oh, love, I missed you so much.” Lando gushed suddenly, face automatically becoming alight and housing a lovesick expression.
A laugh escaped your lips as the man wrapped his arms around your center and brought you both flying down onto the mattress before holding you close, his eyes already shutting as he let out a hum of content.
You chuckled, watching as he snuggled closer to you, inhaling the scent of your hair with his eyes still squeezed shut.
Gently, you maneuvered the two of you so that his head was resting against your chest and you were the one cradling him. He let you do so without an ounce of argument, the soft smile still sitting on his lips as he held you close.
Despite the fact that his jacket was still only half off of him and he was yet to change out of his clothes that he was in to go out, you knew from past experience that there was nothing on earth that could pull Lando off of you at that moment. Even to get fully ready for bed.
So, instead, you held him close, running your fingers through his hair after flicking off of the lamp light and waited for your boy to fall asleep.
“I love you,” The words were mumbled against your old sleep shirt with the man himself being halfway to sleep.
“I love you too, Lan.” You dipped your head to place a lingering kiss on the man's forehead, “So much.”
#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic
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THE RAIN SCENE OH MY GODDDD I FORGOT HOW HARD IT FUCKS
#pride and prejudice 2005#pride and prejudice#jae.txt#I'm goijg unsan d#the way he stumbled over the 'i love you'... the way she had said 'my sister hardly shows her true feelings to me'#god fuck this film fucking hits in so many ways#every single beat of this movie hits exactly the way it's supposed to
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bang chan recs (18+)
key: !!! = personal favourite, s = smut, f = fluff, a = angst
add. notes: hai :3 i know i said i would make a skz recs list but the minute i scrolled thru my likes n started saving from chan onwards, i realised i had Too many recommended fics for him (this list is like 40 fics/drabbles long....) so i decided to just make member separate posts instead!!! i tried not to have repeats of authors to give u guys a broader scope to choose from n also sorry in advance that i yapped so much abt them it's just like . these r my all time fav authors so it's expected. anyways i hope u guys love these works as much as i do bcs they r from some of my absolute fav creators n plz give them lots of love n always make sure to appreciate these ppl <3
. . .
hopelessly devoted to you — @changbunnies (!!!, s, a?)
this was literally a 11/10 fic like i am not even joking rn. i luv greaser chan n even tho he messed up, the way he makes it up to mc is so so soooo sweet. the fact that he's so gone n pussydrunk while eating her out, the sweetness in how he holds her n fucks her is all too mindnumbing n i hope u continue writing bcs u r amazing at it!! i will always come back 2 this when i need a pick me up fr
2. bad idea — @hyunsvngs (!!!, s)
JUNOOOOO my lovely baby.... i adore u n all ur work always but this fic. This Fic. it changed the trajectory of my life. like not even kidding but i was a different person when i started reading this n when i finished it i was Changed. life is worth living now, the grass is greener n the birds always sing 2 me which i firmly believe is bcs of u n this beautiful yummy fic. i fucking LOVE stepdad chan sm like there's smth so gross n nasty abt fucking ur mom's bf n even tho mc is a menace, i still loved it. never stop doing what u do!!!
3. 1095 days — @luvyeni (s)
EX INMATE CHAN RAHHHHH!! i have akshewally been following ur work for so long n i LOVE!! the way u write :3 thank u for always churning out ur work so fast n being so good at what u do. im obv a sucker for daddy kink considering i eat it up every time n it's so fucking good i love how chan cares for mc n the way he gives it to her once he's back. mark my words i will EAT this man up n this fic whenever i stumble across it
4. milk and honey — @straykeedz (s, f, a?)
user straykeedz u have to stop... ur work too addicting n perfect.. ur depiction of chan too real n crazy (/pos)... they're gonna get u... but seriously i love bffs2lovers so bad n the way u always characterise chan n make him call mc so many cute pet names melts my heart :( i've also been following U for a long time n even tho everything u write is so so soooo good, this has to be one of my faves alongside ur inexperienced chan fic. i hope u don't pressure urself too much to update n jus do what u have to do :D
5. my wife — @chrizzztopherbang (s, f)
ngl i Think this is my first fic from u cus i followed u bcs of it n that's a given honestly cus newly turned husband chan?? eating his wife out metres away from his friends n family on the other side of the door n fucking her within an inch of her life right after they're pronounced husband n wife?? i love it i loved their bickering over who's a pervert n i just love the idea of mc finally calling the love of her life hers forever. i hope they r always happy alongside u
6. sweet nothing — @frenchkisstheabyss (!!!, s, f, a)
this fic actually changed me as a person too not even kidding. i EAT UP exes to lovers n the portrayal of it was so good here bcs there's so much unspoken tension between the two n then chan begging mc to not leave again n her promising she won't bcs all she wants to do is be his at last?? AWOOGAAAAA i need him so bad it's jinja michin (i am so cringe sorry..) ANYWAYS!! i hope u know tattoo artist + ex bangchan is a crazy combo n that the makeup sex was HOT HOT HOT!!! plz keep writing i adore u <3
7. pick you up — @moonchild9350 (!!!, s)
see idk if this is tmi but sex where ure being picked up n fucked is downright nasty in the best possible way n i fear i need to get railed like that by chan so u writing abt is literally u making my fantasies come true. this fic was a delicious mix of cute w chan telling mc he only works out so he can pick her up (based off of his bbl texts obv) n hot w him Actually fucking her within an inch of her life. i love all ur work tee bee eich so keep doing what ur doing!!!
8. spring has sprung — @cbini (!!!, f, s)
miss ems where do i even begin with u.. (u probably Do Not Know me but i know u smirk emoji. soz that was weird erm but ya i am the binnie anon who said u deserve changbin LOLZ) this fic was the perfect mix of cuteness w raw passionate fucking i love the idea of chan getting hard bcs ur dressed so preciously in a pretty dress i think it's rooted somewhere in his slight corruption kink which comes out def when u r all dolled up for him. anyways u never miss n i hope u know that <3
9. walking in on rooomate!chan / pt. 2 — @kacciidubs (!!!, s, f)
going 2 be very honest here i do not even remember what happened in part 1 bcs part 2 of this roommate chan fic actually blew my mind away like Seriously user kacciidubs u r insane!!! all ur work never misses n i am always so eager whenever u post bcs i've been following u n loving everything u put out for so long. ofc ur chan work is my favourite as u can tell but this fic... this fic was crazy the switch between daddy n sir oh my god what if i cream my pants rn. plz never stop writing <3
10. last nerve / pt. 2 — @cb97percent (!!!, s)
user cb97percent let me just preface this by saying whatever u write is INSANE. like i already knew u were a great writer but this fic? changed me as a person not even joking rn. the way mc n chan banter n how chan's an asshole who is pissed off how he can't get it up anymore unless he fucks mc is so funny n how the raw passion between them results in the best sex Ever. n ofc the ending w minho took me out n Yea i just . i have no words plz never stop writing to u as well
11. hush — @petrichor-han (s)
sucker for exhibitionism n sucker for chan so what better way to comemorate this occasion than by reading abt it? this entire scenario was so hot like honestly i can totally imagine chan's bitchass doing this bcs he's so cheeky in nature he would lose himself from the thrill of almost getting caught. u r amazing as always thank u for churning out so much content for kinktober may god or whoever u believe in bless u with eternal inspiration
12. daddy!chan helping you shave — @hyunjins-orange-slice-too (!!!, s, f)
i sent u an ask already talking abt how much i love u n everything u write but THIS. this made me weak in the knees bcs i have imagined this very scenario so many times if im being brutally honest. there's smth so sweet n domestic abt the act of helping ur partner shave n with daddy chan in the mix? kill me now plz. the way he asks if he can play w mc once he's done n how he sternly instructs her to be safe like omgkjdfjhjdfgjhhjg need him in ways that give the pits of hell a run for its money w how hot n nasty im abt to be fr
13. one last time — @baby-yongbok (!!!, s, a?)
like i said, i am a sucker for the exes to lovers pipeline alongside husband chan so while this isn't Either of those things entirely it still scratches the itch in my brain very very well. the way mc n chan exchange snarky remarks n how chan only says he's satisfied once they're done fucking OHHHH MYYYYY GODDDD... need this man carnally like i would dump him just so he can fuck me the way he fucked mc in this fr (that is a lie we r locked in 4 life). u r brilliant as always i always look forward to ur work so next time u r questioning if this is worth it just know lovscb97 on tumblr has ur back fr
14. chan ask drabble #1 — @skzms (s)
maymay.. my eternal luvr... the genius behind smrsmf minsung... ofc u were bound to eat this up n end up on this list. idgaf if it's just an ask answer or drabble bcs the way u write is so . so Elegant. i love how u always use ur words to describe the emotion lingering between ppl in love n the way u do it here w chan n mc, the way he reassures her afterwards n how he promises her he'll give her everything later while fucking his fingers into her ohhhh mannnn.. i can just imagine him in his suit thank u for bringing the vision to life fr
15. you're right, baby — @chlorinecake (s, f)
soft dom chan who is ur fiancé fucking u n claiming u bcs he's a lil pouty that u forgot ur ring?? n then going so far to say he'll cum in u to make sure everyone knows who u belong to?? RAHHHHHH HE NEEDS ME!!! this was written so deliciously i loved the way mc n chan cared for each other n also the ending was so cute LOLZ hope they r happy in every universe n that their wedding goes great fr u r an awesome writer user chlorinecake
16. silence — @valkyriexo (s, a)
make up sex make up sex make up sex!!! i love it so good even tho it hurts so bad when mc realises chan forgot to show up :( but the fact that he makes it up to her by begging her to not leave him n making her cum as many times on his tongue as possible for her to forgive him?? INSANITY!! the longing in their eyes n words n actions from how much they've missed e/o when he finally touches mc n oh man.. u ate this up
17. corruption — @goquokka00 (s)
STEPBRO CHAN RAHHHHH i am a sucker for him (in more ways than one iygwim eheheh.. soz) i loved the sinister blackmail u added into the story n how he fucked mc bcs of her bad grades by making up some shit excuse abt learning how to please someone like y/n u can't be this dense girl!!! (i'd do it too if he asked me #Tbh) ANYWAYS. idk how this didn't have more notes bcs it was hot asfk i hope u keep writing more stuff to come :3
18. chef's kiss — @hyuniepies (s, f)
the tenderness of mc n chan's love mixed w the nasty dirty talk ohhhh hyuniepies u r a GENIUS!! this is exactly how i imagine domestic life w chan would be like; him coming back home to u cooking a dinner n then fucking u absolutely silly on the countertop bcs he just can't wait after getting a look at ur figure n bcs he's missed u so much. i too would be obsessed w bangchan if (read: when) he becomes my husband teehee
19. chan ask drabble #2 — @miupow (!!!, s)
USER MIUPOW UR FUCKING BRAIN!! HOW DO U CARRY SUCH A HUGE BRAIN IN UR HEAD!!! DOES UR BACK NOT HURT FROM HOLDING UP THE DELICIOUS IDEAS OF BCHAN SIZE KINK!!! like i told u yst i love ur writing n i love U so bad. u always eat w every request or idea u come up with n i absolutely adore that for u i hope u truly never stop writing bcs u have a serious gift n i hope ppl keep telling u that constantly bcs i sure as hell will <3
20. pretty mouth of yours — @jeongin-lvr (s, f)
need to give chan head like . Yesterday. but OHHHH MEINNNN GOTTTT fiancé channie w mc sucking him off so pretty u know exactly what im a sucker for u dont u user jeongin-lvr? ur writing is tooooooo good i swear i have read so much of ur work n granted this is one of my fave chan works from u icl i love the jeongin ones even more but i'll add those to my innie recs list later :3 ANYWAYS!! plz never stop writing u r awesomesauce (cringe.) n i love u hope u r having a great day today
21. daddy issues — @hwan-g (!!!, s, a)
HELLO THIS FUCKING FICCCCC... it is so good so delicious so fucking beautifully written that it brought tears to my eyes no joke. i still remember the first time i stumbled across it n like wow.. i think i dmed u on my side reading account too to express how much i liked it bcs i rly Did like it truly was a piece of art n sometimes i can't believe ppl like u just write stuff like this for free?? u should be getting paid good money bcs all ur work ALWAYS eats <3
22. closing the distance / pt. 2 — @thefantasyden (s, f)
ik long distance relationships r tough n it's awful when u can't spend time w each other physically or touch either but hear me out . it would Not suck w chan bcs he'd do everything for u the way he does everything for mc in this fic. from how he shows up n is too nervy to kiss her to them finally touching each other for the first time n then she moves back to him?? ohhhh man i love love n i love U for making this ur work always eats n trust that i'll always come back to this fic when i need to rmb how much i love chan
23. riding chan's thigh/knees — @faeryacha (!!!, s, f)
i love daddy chan so bad im sorry im not even gonna hide it anymore n i love the way he was written here too, from the way he asks if mc wants to play to the way he has her fuck herself on him to get herself off like i'm not even into little space like that but the minute he refers to himself as daddy n speaks to me all soft n protective im on my knees on the floor ready to suck him off like my life depends on it. u ate so bad w this plz continue doing more amazing work in the future!!!
24. steamy desires — @notsoangels (s)
shower sex w chan mngnghfhghgh.. need him so bad id let him fuck me anywhere as he pleases but in the shower?? w the hot water cascading over us w just us in our little world like omgomgomg NEED. i love the simplicity in ur writing too n how it paints a picture in my mind bcs i can vividly imagine all of this happening like him making u squirt on his cock n then rinsing u off so u can spend time wrapped up with each other on the bed like plz. One chance plz.
25. the fuckboy next door — @seospicybin (!!!, s, a)
miss seospicybin.. how do u always do it? how do u always come out w the most mindbreaking jawdropping amazing insane array of fics without even breaking a sweat like hello? this series is so fucking good from the smut to the angst that hurts so good. i love the development of the plot n that chan tries So hard to be true to mc so he can be w her n the way she tells him to do it for himself like :( they deserve each other sm i am very much looking forward to part 4!!!
26. pussydrunk chan — @aeliuss (s, f)
mngngngngjghgh i love pussydrunk chan so bad n i love the idea of him being so infatuated w mc that he just Had to drag her away n eat her out. i also love that he's there to support her in the end n how turned on he gets from her just being herself like that is a real man!!! n the way it's so reflective of how chan is irl too? i feel like this is how exactly how he'd behave— needy but so so soo in love with u too
27. kitty — @bandgie (!!!, s, f)
no joke this fic made my pussy throb. i need him 2 do this to him so bad bcs i need Him so bad. the way u wrote the subspace drop n how immersed mc was in her role n the way chan guides her thru everything n then the aftermath of it like hngnngnfgddjghjgh... i always have loved ur writing but this particular piece rly got to me along w ur kinktober series i hope u continue to do writing bcs u seriously so so SO good at it fr!!
28. angel eyes — @temptaetions (!!!, s, a)
this fic. this fucking FIC. bro this is actual evidence of the fact that literary geniuses exist bcs the way u wrote so beautifully not just the actual smut but the whole storyline?? u r a godsend fr like u should be getting paid to put out work of this degree. not only r u a PHENOMENAL writer but i hope u never stop writing bcs this was actually so so lovely n amazing to read i wish i could revisit the first time i read this T_T
29. just (fucking) friends? — @snowyquokka (s)
HELLOOOO i love possessive fwb chan almost as much as i love ur writing!! the way he's so annoyed at how she said they're just friends so he takes out his anger on her but then at the same time asks her what her color is to make sure she's still okay WOWZAAAA.. need him Bad. n in the end when they both agree they don't wanna be just friends like chan.. i don't want 2 be just friends either.. come 2 me plz... anyways very yummy work fr
30. american whiskey — @straywrds (!!!, s, a)
this fic... how do i even begin w this fic... the way u write is actually so . so otherwordly yk? u rly pour all ur passion into ur writing n the way u describe everything like every emotion every detail every feeling it's so raw n real that it touches my heart. i can Feel what each of the characters go thru n the SMUT... the smut is so so delicious ofc. i've read ur other work n u r such a good writer plz keep going with what u do i will always support u fr
31. free use w/ soft dom chris — @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (s, f)
the dirty talk in this.. hngnngkgjjdgjjh. i need free use w daddy!chan just as bad as i need to reread this fic ten times until it's ingrained in my brain n any telepath w the ability to read minds out there is disgusted by how many times i think abt it (idk what this analogy was i am sorry). the way he eats mc out n the way he fucks her omgfkjdgjhjhgjh NEED HIM RAHHHHH u did so well w this
32. play tight / pt. 4 — @roseykat (s, a)
squirting w chan squirting w chan SQUIRTING!! W CHAN!!! the way he makes mc do it once n then immediately goes "yea i need to feel that on my dick" n fucks her within an inch of her life like ohmygodjkdjhsfghj i did eat up the angst too but the way u wrote them fuckinig was so nasty n delicious I ENJOYED IT SM!! this entire series is such a good read even tho it's not chan centered idk if there r more parts to it but if there r plz link me to them!!
33. dream you — @charmercharm3r (s, f)
ok i know we r discussing smut n all n trust that i will get to that but THIS!! this was so cute n precious ohemgee the way he loves mc n takes care of her n banters w her at the start so lovingly is so so precious to me i want him so bad :( the smut was also very delicious w chan switching to hard dom mode n making mc suck him off before ravishing her like oh my god PLZZZZ FUCK ME PLZPLZPLZ u did so well on this plz continue writing more for me at the least <3
34. brat-taming w/ chan — @blurboki (s)
this damn drabble was so.. hngngjfjghjhdgjh. i want 2 be a brat to chan so bad n act out just so he'll snap n put me into my place which is exactly what u wrote n i LOVED IT!!! it's so short n simple (not a bad thing at all btw) yet it's so powerful too? i love the characterisation of chan cus i firmly believe this is how he'd act in bed w a fussy bratty s/o like wow. Just wow. i love u and ur delicious mind i hope u r having a great day just for this :3
35. tell me all about it.. — @chnsbm (s, f)
hngnfjhdfsjghgjh the idea of chan making u forget all about ur stress n playing with u to help u sleep is so gfjfjjjffjhgjhjh HOT!!! the way he lovingly reassures mc like u don't need to worry abt it now just let me take care of u n how he's such a fuckin TEASE!! w the way he's touching her is so so hot u ate w this idea n i will forever die on the hill that this is really smth chan would do— tease u n make u talk while he's doing ungodly things to u just to see u stutter over ur words
36. be that guy — @daizymax (!!!, s, a)
i have said it once i have said it twice n i will say it one more time bcs i don't care how many times i need to reiterate it needs to be said: EXES TO LOVERS W CHAN IS TOP TIER!!! the smut in this was so delicious but the LONGING chan had for mc.. the way he felt the twinge in his chest for letting her go oh man.. i'd take him back if he so even looked at me but maybe im just crazy. BUT ANYWAYS!! this is possibly one of the hottest chan smuts there ever is so thank U for this delicious gift fr
37. more than just friends — @kwanisms (!!!, s, f)
werewolf chan my luvr... my big strong baby who will knock me up w his knot n fuck me until the sun rises RAHHHHHHHH!!! this was so so SOOOOO good n yummy like from the way he pinned mc to the wall to the way he ordered her around n how his self restraint snapped the moment she called him daddy like why's that so Me behaviour HELPPPP anyways user kwanisms u fucking ATE w this i hope ur pillow is cold every night u go to sleep <3
38. connected — @j-0ne25 (s, f, a)
let me just start this by saying I FUCKING LOVE U USER J-0NE25!!! ur interactive stories esp megaverse r so fucking good how r u so bigbrained my dumbass could never like actually JSDHJFJHGJH. anyways i rmb reading this very vividly n oh boy.. "baby patience, or do you need me to teach you a lesson?" Brother my panties r drenched n off dont even start w me rn. anyways this was so so delicious plz never stop writing i beg u
39. chan ask drabble #3 — @hyungszn (!!!, s, f)
saved the best for last but CLOVER.. (u dk me but i am ur biggest fan hai :3) "your mouth is saying no but your body is telling me a different story, mrs. bang." GRRRHJDJSDFJHKJSFKJSFKJGJ... I NEED HIM SOO FUCKING BAD!!! the way they banter even while having nasty sex n just love each other so bad n hello my breeding kink went feral w this. when mc asked him to not eat his cum out of her pussy n he was like "and why is that?" cus he wanted to hear her say it GRAHHHHH I WILL EAT HIM!!! on a side note, u r so so soooo amazing i have been reading ur work for so long i think since american pie n i can safely say u r one of the best skzblr writers i have ever seen along w so many other ppl like plz keep up the good work bcs i will ALWAYS support u for it !!!
. . .
add notes: thank u very much to all these amazing writers fr. if ur work wasn't featured here now do not fret!! i probably (most definitely knowing my dumbass) just missed it cus i didn't scroll Very far down in my likes (there's like 2k+....) so trust that u will most likely end up on the next recs list!! i love u all very much regardless if u r here or not n as always a very big thank u once more for all ur amazing hard work, u r all doing so well n i hope u guys know that <3
#✰ sunny's skz recs!#bang chan#bangchan#bang chan smut#bangchan smut#bang chan fluff#bangchan fluff#bangchan x reader#bang chan x you
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disgusting(ly in love) || matt sturniolo
an; hiiii my loves how are y'all?? someone please give me some ideas for this i wanna make one for chris too:( this was originally supposed to be for 10 mins but i ran out of ideas and ended up making it 8 mins THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 400 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU ALL<33
summary; a youtube compilation of matt and yn being in love for 8 mins.
tagged; @t1llysblogs
matt was bored. and on youtube. having stumbled upon a video titled "MATT AND YN BEING DISGUSTING(LY IN LOVE)!!!??? tw happy couple (ew)" he decided he had nothing better to do than watch this.
clip one; sleeping beauties
the clip started with nick going down the stairs and screaming for matt. what he didn't know was yn, matt's girlfriend had stayed over.
expecting matt to be awake, he pushed the door open with his vlog camera on.
there laid matt and yn, all cuddled up on the bed. the blanket covered their tangled legs yet the way matt held his girl against his chest was enough to make everyone jealous of the couple. near them mr wrinkleton, matt's pug plushie and ms bubbles, yn's rabbit plushie cuddled too, almost making it look just like the couple in plushie forms.
a small laugh left nick, as he zoomed the camera into their faces.
clip two; twitch stream
matt was streaming on twitch with his brothers while his girlfriend went out on lunch with her friends.
coming back home, yn did not expect to hear shouts from each brother's room. assuming they were only playing video games with each other, she yelled "honeyyyyyy i'm homeeeeee" right as she entered in matt's room. not giving him any time to answer the girl skipped her way to her boyfriend and sat on his lap; all excited to tell him about the latest gossip session she had with her girls.
but that could wait for a while.
he looked so beautiful that she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his neck, giving a sweet kiss on his lips. pulling away she kissed his cheeks and mumbled "god you're so cute".
giggling softly, the boy pulled her face up and said "thank you baby" she was about to say something when chris screamed "OH MY VIRGIN EYES". laughing at the way her eyes got wide, matt explained "we're streaming baby"
clip three; birthday gift
sometimes yn vloged. since the triplets' birthday was coming soon, she decided to vlog the entire process of shopping for the brothers.
twelve minutes into the video, she was all set and ready with meaningful gifts for each brother. once she put all the gifts in separate bags for each brother, she smiled at the camera. "finally. it was such a tiring day. now only one thing is left to do. y'all remember the paints i brought? well we're doing a fun little craft." taking out the red and pink paints, she went to grab a plain black tshirt.
cutting a heart stencil out of a paper, she stuck the paper to the tshirt's back. applying the fabric paint on her lips she started kissing the cloth between the cutout paper heart. applying different shades of pink and red, she filled kisses in the shape of a heart. laughing at her now smudged 'lipstick' she showed the camera her now ready gift.
"gonna let it dry now. i think i will maybe do something in the front also. not sure. will keep you guys updated!!"
safe to say, matt loved his gift so much that he demanded another kiss tshirt so that he could wear her kisses every day.
clip four; beach
this was a short clip from the hawaii vlog. the triplets, yn, maddie and nate where walking to the beach near hotel. well not all of them were walking through.
yn decided she was too tired to walk today and matt being the absolute angel he is, let her to hop on his back as he carried the girl to the beach.
maddie had vlogged matt carrying his girl on his back, humming to whatever she had to say. the camera captured matt listening carefully to his girlfriend as she spoke animatedly about penguins. the last thing the camera captured was yn repeatedly kissing the boy's cheek as he smiled before chris pushed the couple claiming "it was sick to watch people in love"
clip five; beach again
this was a clip from the same vlog as the last. matt and yn were seen enjoying in the water. splashing water against eachother their joyous laughs could be heard.
suddenly matt lifted the girl up, enjoying her screams of fear. dropping her a little, matt laughed harder as his girl tightened her hold on his neck. "matt i swear to god if you throw me in the water" laughing at her empty threats, matt dropped her down a little.
"MATTEW STURNIOLO"
"but baby i love you" he said as he completely dropped her down.
clip six; deaf, mute and blind challenge
yn sometimes participated in the triplets' videos. right now she was a part of the deaf mute and blind challenge. nick and chris were deaf, matt was mute and she was blind.
it was tough to be blind when she was only one who could actually cook something but nothing goes according to her wish, right?
which brings us to this moment. yn, desperately trying to find the bowl which contained the pancake mixture. looking at his struggling girlfriend, matt came behind her and pulled the bowl towards them. putting the whisk in her hand, he grabbed her from behind and helped her whisk the ingredients together. mumbling a small thank you the girl was finally relieved as the process was almost over.
all while nick and chris danced and screamed to doja cat.
clip seven; grwm
yn was filming a get ready with me to go to a date. while she was putting the make up on, her boyfriend entered the room. saying a quick hi to him she turned back to explain her makeup process to her followers.
"—oh y'all need to try this mascara. it's sooooo good. i literally cried—" hugging the girl matt cut off her rant. he squeezed the girl in his arms as she turned around to place a kiss on his cheek. laughing at the bright red stain her lipstick left on his cheeks she tried to grab a tissue to wipe it off. protesting against it, the boy pulled her closer to him.
clip eight; dancing in the snow
the clip was from a random vlog yn posted. it started off with yn putting her vlog camera on the car's bonet and running towards matt. the two, fully covered in wools from head to toe danced in the snow without any music.
matt twirled his girl, a small laugh leaving him as the girl lost balance and collided with him, pushing the two to the ground.
it may seem silly to others, dancing without any music or laughing like madmen in the snow but to them this was the best moment of their life.
as the video ended, matt pouted at the screen. he now missed his girlfriend. he decided to facetime his girl not knowing chris was right behind him and he recorded matt smiling and blushing at moments with his girlfriend. probably this would end up in another compilation of matt and yn being in love.
#cherrynflowergarden🦢🌹🍒#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x you
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All These Things That I've Done
Summary : In which Bucky leaves behind a loving note every time he goes on a mission. But what happens when you stumble on a letter not meant to be found… yet?
Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader (she/her)
Warnings : cursing, mentions of death
Requested by : myself haha
Word count : 2.7k
Note : This is just angsty fluff with a happy ending, really. It was inspired by a song by the Killers of the same title. Enjoy!
Requests are open!
You woke up in the early hours of dawn, the sunlight filtering softly through the sheer curtains, blanketing warmth over the room. You rolled over, expecting to find Bucky beside you, but your hand touched only a tangle of sheets.
Shit. What day was it? You glanced toward the calendar on the wall, and your stomach dropped. Of course. He was supposed to leave for some sort of extraction mission today.
You couldn’t deny the worry rising in your throat. You knew deep down, James Buchanan Barnes was one of the most skilled fighters on the planet. Sam always reminded you of that the last time you saw him, as if he knew how much you worried. He’d battled alien armies and come out with only a few scratches. A mission like this? It ought to be a piece of cake. You pushed anxiety back down your stomach.
The room was eerily quiet, almost haunting. You heard a soft thud from the hallway, followed by Bucky’s muttering to himself from the other side of the slightly open bedroom door. “Where did I leave my gloves?”
You smiled at his gruff frustration and shouted out just loud enough for him to hear, “Did you check the dryer?”
There was silence before you heard a cluster of steps, and then his voice echoed back through from the washing room, “Got it!”
His footsteps made their way back to you as Bucky appeared in the doorway, fully suited up in his gear. He was strapping the glove onto his human hand, his vibranium arm reflecting in the morning light. You couldn’t help but admire him, eyeing him from top to bottom, your breath hitching at how effortlessly handsome he looked in his tactical suit.
“Morning, doll,” he said with that half-smile that always made your heart flutter like a million little butterflies simultaneously beating their wings.
You sat up, rubbing your eyes as he walked over. He reached the edge of the bed, sitting down next to you. He leaned down to brush a strand of hair away from your face and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, making your chest warm with joy. “I didn't mean to wake you up.” He apologised.
“You didn’t,” you mumbled, still groggy from a dreamless sleep. With a tired smile, you asked, “Did you hide the note yet?”
It was a tradition the two of you had started long ago: before every mission, Bucky would leave you a little note, something for you to find while he was away. A scavenger hunt, if you will, to keep you occupied, to remind you he was always thinking of you. Sometimes the notes were practical—like ‘Don’t forget to drink water while I’m gone.’ Other times, they were a bit longer and heartfelt, and it made you feel closer to him even when he was far—even when you couldn’t feel the warmth of his touch and feel the joy in his kiss.
“Of course,” he replied, chuckling. “First thing I did this morning.”
You reached for his hand, your fingers tracing the edges of his gloved palm, craving the feeling of his bare skin. “Be careful out there, okay?”
He leaned down again, this time pressing a kiss to your forehead. His lips lingered a little longer than usual. “Always am,” he murmured, but you could hear the slight uncertainty in his voice, one that you noticed only because you knew him inside out. You could detect the slightest change of inflection, of intention, in his voice. He’d been like this for the last few missions, and you’d be lying if it hadn’t made you a bit more weary. A bit more on edge.
—
Later that evening, after a long day at work, you found the note.
You had been looking around your shared home, sighing at how empty it felt. How it didn’t feel like home without the love of your life echoing the walls with his laughter, filling the air with his scent. You had missed him so much already.
When you found the note, you had been checking for loose change in your jacket pockets. It was tucked neatly into one of them, and you couldn’t help but smile as you pulled it out, unfolding the familiar handwriting. You always wore this jacket in a specific weather—when the sun was shining and it was windy enough. When you were certain it would not rain. You smiled, knowing Bucky would have had to check the forecast to make sure he put it in the right jacket for you.
The stress of the day melted away in that moment, replaced by a gentle warmth that spread through your chest. His notes always had a way of making everything better.
This one was short but sweet:
‘Don’t miss me too much. I’ll be home before you know it.’
You smiled, your fingers brushing over the soft texture of paper. Lately, he had been cutting the edges to soften the paper after you told him you got paper cut from one of them.
How had you not noticed it in your pocket all day? Perhaps you had just been distracted. Still, the idea that his words had been with you the whole time made you feel like he’d been by your side, even though he was probably on a different continent by now. You took a deep breath, walking up to your bedroom. You folded it neatly before tucking the note into the small box on your nightstand—the box where you kept all of his letters. By now, there were dozens of small reminders of his love for you.
You sat on the edge of the bed and opened the box, pulling out a few more letters. You took your time to read through them.
‘Don’t forget to take care of yourself. I know you get so wrapped up in work that you forget. I’ll bring you back something special.’
‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Thank you for being patient with me.’
‘When I get back, can we try the new coffee shop down the street? Don’t go without me.’
You chuckled softly at one of the more recent ones.
‘I may be a super soldier, but I still can’t fold a fitted sheet for shit. You’ll have to show me again when I get home.’
Oh, what a wonderful boyfriend you had.
—
Two days later, the ache in your chest had only grown. You missed Bucky so dearly, and you were starting to struggle to keep yourself busy from the overwhelming emotions.
But your worries weren’t yours alone. In the past few weeks, you have noticed subtle changes in Bucky. He was quieter than usual, his smiles a little less frequent. There were moments when he seemed far away, lost in thoughts he didn’t share. You’d catch him staring out the window or slipping away into the early morning hours, as if trying to outrun something you couldn’t see. You didn’t want to press him, not when it was clear he was trying to handle it on his own. But now, in the silence of the empty house, the signs of his unease gnawed at you.
Cleaning the apartment helped, at least for a little while. But as you organised his things, you found another note.
It was not hidden in the usual places, not anywhere you would even think to look, therefore not one he expected you to find.
You wondered why the note was tucked deep into the back of one of his drawers, behind all his mission files that he’d stay up late to read up on. The edges were rounded, so you knew that this would have been somewhat recent.
There was something different about it. Folded smaller than usual, like it wasn’t meant to be found just yet. Or maybe ever.
Your heart raced as you unfolded it, curiosity getting the best of you. It was a note, right? If it was meant for you, why did you feel so guilty opening it?
But nothing could have prepared you for the words written inside.
‘If you’re reading this, it means I didn’t make it back.
I’m sorry. I tried to be careful. I always try to come home to you every time. But I knew there’d be a day when I wouldn’t make it.
Maybe this is for the best. You deserve so much better than what I can give you. You deserve better than someone with blood on his hands. You deserve someone who isn’t always living with one foot in the grave.
Please don’t waste your time mourning me. Move on. Be happy. Go get yourself someone who can give you the life you deserve. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by you.
I love you more than anything in the world.’
Your hands trembled as the letter fell from your fingers, tears already welling up in your eyes.
The words on the note blurred as your tears fell. You tried to convince yourself that it was just Bucky’s fear talking, not a premonition. But a voice in the back of your mind whispered, What if he’s right? What if one day he doesn't come back?
What if he’s not coming back?
You’d always been confident about Bucky's ability to survive on his missions. Sure, you’d worry about the odd wound or if he’d get a scar that needed constant medical attention, but death was, more often than not, off the cards. Now that you knew he thought of it, that’s all you could think about.
Bucky had always been so good at hiding this fear. You knew something was off, but you always thought that he was just a bit nervous, that’s all.
But here, it was laid bare in his own handwriting.
It broke your heart that he had already resigned himself to the idea that one day he wouldn’t come home. That his death was inevitable. And worse, that he believed it would be better off that way.
—
The days dragged on painfully long after you found the note. Every time your phone buzzed, your heart raced uncontrollably. You were expecting news—good or bad—but it was always something else. Work. Or people checking up on you.
So you used them as a distraction. You threw yourself to work, met with friends, and did anything to stop your worries, but nothing worked.
Each night, the bed felt colder and lonelier, the house quieter than you would have preferred. Anxiety has already started eating you up and swallowing you whole.
To your relief, Bucky returned a few days later, safe but exhausted. You heard the door click open, and before he could say anything, you rushed to his side, wrapping your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest, taking in his scent. As he shut the door and dropped his bag, your fingers fluttered on his back, making sure he was real. Then you sunk your palm into him as if he might slip away, as if his life depended on it.
He held you tight, rubbing slow circles on your back, his voice soft in your ear, taken aback by your reaction. You usually cracked a joke or two, or excitedly kissed him on his arrival. “Hey, I’m here. I’m okay.”
Your body was tense—almost skeletal—against his. After a moment, he pulled back slightly, his brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
You hesitated, your heart pounding, then quietly said, “I found it. The note.”
His face froze. He knew which one, but he had to ask. “Which one?”
“The one I shouldn’t be reading,” you paused hesitantly, “…yet.”
Bucky’s expression fell into oblivion, looking pale and empty. He looked away. “I didn’t want you to find that,” he murmured.
Tears stung your eyes as you gripped his jacket tighter. “How long have you been carrying this stupid fucking idea that every mission is your last?”
He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair, struggling to find the right words to communicate how he felt. “A couple of months. It’s just how I think now,” he admitted, his voice heavy, raspy. “Every mission feels like it could be the one. And if it is... ” He trailed off, his emotions hanging in the air like a death sentence waiting to be dealt. “Maybe it’s better that way. You deserve someone who can give you a normal life.”
You reached for his hand, stifling quiet sobs, squeezing it tight. “How could you possibly say that? Do you have any idea what it feels like to know you’ve already accepted that you might not come back?”
“There've been a couple of close calls,” he admitted with a heavy heart, and this was the first time you’ve heard of this. You could tell he was just blurting out words, trying to string together an explanation as best he could. “What I’m saying is, If I were out of the picture, you wouldn’t have to worry about these things.”
You sighed, trying to steady your voice but not succeeding. “I don’t want that. I want you, James.” His first name sounded gentle in your tongue. It sounded like a longing, like a cry.
His gaze dropped to the floor, tears brimming in his eyes. “You deserve better.”
He whispered it again, your name escaping his lips like a prayer. Your heart ached. This man, who had fought battles no one could imagine, who had survived horrors and rebuilt himself piece by piece, still didn’t believe he was worth loving.
You took a steadying breath and shook your head, cupping his face gently. “You don’t get to decide what’s better,” you whispered firmly. “Do not tell me what I do or don’t deserve.”
His hands slipped from your waist, almost helpless. You were not letting him lock himself out again, not when you had the chance to pull him out for good.
“Look at me,” you said, a little sharper now, forcing him to meet your gaze, looking into his stormy eyes that once looked as blue as clear skies. “You’ve spent years carrying the weight of everything you’ve done. You’re not that man anymore, Bucky. Deep down, you must know that too.”
He shook his head, his voice hoarse. “I’m always going to be that man. I can’t just erase that.”
“No,” you agreed, and your hand slipped down to rest against his chest, right over his heart. “But you’re also this man—the man who leaves me little notes before every mission. The man who gets frustrated when he can’t find his gloves. The man who cannot fold a fitted sheet to save his life.” You let a chuckle escape your tight chest, and it coaxed a little, hopeful smile from him, too.
“And I love all of you,” you continued. “The parts you think are broken—I love them all. So stop trying to push me away like you’re some kind of lost cause, because you’re not.”
You pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, your lips lingering there before pulling back just enough to meet his eyes again. “Talk to me. Let me help. You don’t have to carry this alone, Bucky. But this note—this can’t be the way I find out about these things.”
His lips quivered, and you could feel the cracks in his fortress gate starting to open.
His arms wrapped around you in a desperate embrace.
After what felt like silent eternity, Bucky finally spoke, his voice rough with traces of a fragile kind of hope. “I don’t know if I can believe it all right now. But,” he gulped down a sob, “I’ll try. For you.”
“No,” you insisted, an encouraging smile on your lips that made his heart stutter, “for yourself.”
He nodded weakly, and that was enough.
For a moment, you stayed like that, wrapped in each other��s arms, the world outside could be burning down, and you wouldn’t care as long as he was safe.
Eventually, Bucky loosened his grip just enough to look down at you, his fingers brushing softly against your cheek. “You sure you want to put up with all this?” He just had to ask. “No take-backs.”
You laughed softly—a cathartic release, the sound filling the quiet room. You nodded, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.”
For now, it didn’t matter that he didn’t truly think he was worthy of love yet.
For now, you could believe for the both of you.
And one day, maybe he’d believe it too.
-end
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