#the way bruce is like 'you feed the bats?' as if he hasn't lived in the batcave for ten years

[connanro]

batman (1940) #655

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Black Cat AU stuff part 3

1. Black Cat, Alley Cat, and Nightwing get into pun battles a lot. They don't even fight they just throw puns and jokes at eachother. Tim thinks that would be great if this didn't happen all the time. He and Damian were currently chained to the wall with thier mouths taped shut, sure the bomb was deactivated and they were saved but he really doesn't wanna listen to another 20 minutes of bad jokes.

This also works with Chat Noir if you wanna add him.

2. There's so many ways to add Chat to the story. You could have him run away from Paris after finding out why Hawkmoth wants the Miraculous. (let's see Hawky come to Gotham. See if he dares)

Or Black Cat might see his home situation and be like, "Um, no. >:/ I'm kidnapping you now, you deserve better."

3. A situation where the mission goes wrong and Robin is knocked out. He awakes later with his head laying against Black Cats chest with the latter holding him tight and keeping gaurd in whatever hidey-hole he had stashed them away in. He started focusing on his surroundings to help fight off his blush, and while the sounds of gunfire outside wasn't exactly comforting the distinct lack of shouts and fighting was apparent. His family wasn't being harmed. Kitty still didn't let him leave without a damage assessment. Robins arm was broken but that seemed to be the worst of the injuries. Kitty somehow managed to mother hen him the rest of the mission without being annoying or getting in his way.

His feelings for kitty only seemed to grow after this

4. Robin keeps thinking about how Kitty always smells like flowers and that means he must like them, so he heads over to this new flower shop only to recognize the voice at the register as kitty. (Its not because he's memorized his voice via crush! Shut up inner Dick!) Of course he tells no one of this revalation, but if he continues to visit this shop on the regular...well he can just tell Father that he picked up a new hobby

5. Tim has a similar situation a few months later. He saw a guy feeding pigeon at the park and greeted him with a friendly, "Hey."

Danny recognized Red Robins voice and- on reflex- greeted him back with a, "Hello, pretty bird." Then he realized Tim wasn't in costume, which was followed up by realizing he wasn't in costume. Then finally- "Oh Ancients, you're Tim Drake!"

They stared at eachother for a seconds before Danny took a risk, "This never happened."

"And why shouldn't I tell the others about this?"

Danny stared him in the eye, "Because you'll never live it down?"

"Fair enough."

So now two bats know kitty's civilian id and aren't telling anyone else in the family. It'd be hilarious if this became a trend.

6. Damian (15) has a crush on Danny.

Danny (17) has a crush on Tim

Tim (19) loves coffee

No love triangle. More like a love conga line where Tim doesn't know why Dami is so territorial over thier friend. There's now two people with the nickname "Clueless"

7. If Danny or Dani decide to keep the white glove(s) and/or boots in thier costumes you can bet Selena will call them affectionate cat based nicknames such as Mittens, Boots, Paws, Frosting, ect.

8. Bruce is close to having a stroke. Not only can he not find out anything about the potential baby bats Selena has he has a problem but Damian is lovestruck, Tim is lovedumb and he's expecting broken bones and broken hearts on the horizon.

And to top it off he still hasn't been able to get any DNA to test if they're his or not. It would be really uncomfortable if they were.

9. Skulker appears and the cats have no idea how he got here. They beat him up in fifteen seconds flat and shove him in one of the thermos that Danny always keeps on him.

10. Tim accidentally used one of Dannys thermos' for actual soup. Tim might be showing light signs of ecto-contamination later.

That or he purposely uses it as a soup cannon against bad guys.

[wellthatjusthappend]

I have seen the stuff you've done with previous stories and I love your writing, the way you wrote your stories are amazing honestly. could you do a story where omega jason and alpha roy are married and jason has given birth to the first child and having a small with them baby, lian. cue the bat family only finding out that they're married when jason does not turn up for a mission because he's on maternity leave. it all kicks off and their totally pisserd because he hasn't told them jack shit.

Ooh, yeah I can do that. I freaking love writing Red Fam. And Jason would go elope without telling anyone. 

“Jesus Christ kiddo, you’re a mess,” grumbled Jason lifting the squirming infant up onto the changing table.

Honestly, the first day they could go a whole day without multiple clothes changes, Jason was going to be tempted to shoot off some fireworks or some shit. Roy would probably be even worse.

As if summoned by the thought, Roy wrapped his arms around Jason’s middle and molded himself to his back.

“How’s my baby?” he cooed, resting his chin on Jason’s shoulder.

“You better be talking about our daughter,” Jason said dryly, continuing to pull a new onesie over her head.

“Of course,” Roy chirped. Jason didn’t believe him for a second.

“Well, since you asked, she’s been a screaming, puking, shitting mess,” Jason grumbled, “She is a newborn after all.”

“You love her~”

“I know I do. I pushed the noisy gremlin out; she’s a fucking treasure,” Jason said hoisting the happily drooling girl back into his arms and kissing her forehead while Roy snickered.

“You know I kinda miss the baby bump,” mused Roy stroking Jay’s stomach thoughtfully, “It was super cute.”

“Fucking inconvieniet is what it was.”

“A little sexy too.”

“You would think that, weirdo.”

“We should make another,” Roy mused, shifting to kiss their little girl’s black hair.

“Don’t even think about it,” Jason threatened, narrowing his eyes.

“Aw, you quite liked making the first one if I remember correctly,” Roy purred, turning his head to nuzzle against the bond mark on Jason’s neck.

Jason couldn’t quite suppress pleasant the shiver the touch caused. Nor the Heat tinged memories it brought up: pushing his husband down and snarling in pleasure when his knot finally locked into place. Jason would always be grateful that Roy was an Alpha that loved being sexually dominated by his Omega partners. They probably would have never worked otherwise.

“Don’t be fucking gross in front of the kids,” Jason said a little gruffly kicking him in the shins.

“She doesn’t understand,” Roy grinned, “besides, you like it when I’m fucking-”

“DADDY!”

Jason and Roy both jumped as Lian toddled into the room pointing at Roy.

“DAS’ A BAD WORD, DADDY!”

“Yes, sweetheart, Daddy’s sorry. Inside voices please,” Roy said kneeling down next to his first daughter.

“FUCKING-”

“No, thank you, babycakes,” Roy laughed nervously.

“Daycare is going to love that one,” Jason snorted, bouncing slightly as the baby in his arms began to fuss.

“Oh please, it was only a matter of time before you cursed in front of her,” grumbled Roy.

“CAN I HOLD THE BABY J-DADDY?”

“Can you remember your inside voice?” Jason grinned at his step-daughter as he plopped down into a chair.

“Can I hold the baby, J-Daddy?” Lian asked slightly quieter, but no less eagerly as she clambered up onto the arm of the chair.

“If you eat your dinner,” Jason granted. She was too little to do it on her own, but if Jason or Roy was there to help her, there was few things Lian enjoyed more than holding her new baby sister.

Well, maybe candy or flying with her Auntie Kori, but those were hard to beat.

“Speaking of dinner,” Roy said coming to perch on the other arm of the chair as Jason fumbled one handed to get his shirt open enough for the baby to start feeding, “I made some stew for you guys that should be ready in like 40 minutes, but are you sure you’re good to do bedtime on your own today? I can get Connor to cover for me.”

“Connor has been covering for you almost every other night since this one was born,” Jason said adjusting his hold, “We’ll be fine. Go give the kid a break.”

“If you’re sure,” Roy said leaning over to give him a kiss.

Jason let his eyes fall closed as he leaned into his Alpha’s touch. He never thought he’d be in this sort of domestic situation… used to swear up and down as a kid that he’d never be some alpha’s stay at home omega bitch. But it’d never been like that with Roy. In fact, Roy ended up doing far more of the domestic work than Jason did (since he made half of the messes anyway).

It’d be another month or so until Jason was street ready again after months out of training while he was pregnant. Even when the time came though, the idea of leaving his girls at home with someone else filled him with anxiety.

He’d figure it out later.

“I WAN’ A KISS TOO!” Lian announced right in his ear.

“You got it, Princess,” Roy winced, his ears clearly ringing slightly too.

Jason let himself smile fondly as he looked at his new family. It was perfect.

His phone buzzed with another emergency all-hands mission from Gotham, but Jason just pressed ignore as usual.

If it was truly important, someone would tell Roy.

****

Jason woke up bolt-right in the middle of the night not knowing what had woken him.

The baby was asleep- for once- in the crib next to the bed and he could see Lian was out light a light in the next room as well from the monitor. He looked around blurrily, his pulse still racing for whatever reason. Roy was still out on patrol and would be for another hour or two at least. For sanity’s sake, Jason quickly tested a few of the custom alarms Roy had set up from his phone.

They were all turned off.

Feeling much more alert, Jason unlocked to safe by the bed with a touch of his finger and grabbed his knives (the guns and ammo were locked separately elsewhere much more securely out of curious fingers reach) before rolling to his feet. He needed to get Lian and move her to the room so he could guard both children more effectively, but-

Movement by the door.

Jason had a knife at their throat in an instant.

“Give me one good reason not to slice you open,” he hissed.

“Jay! You’re alright!” Dick breathed out a sigh of relief, completely unconcerned about the knife at his throat.

The light in the living room flicked on and Jason blinked as he took in the sight of most of the rest of the Bat’s easing out of the shadows.

“What the fuck are you doing breaking into my house in the middle of the night?!” Jason snarled quietly.

“You haven’t been answering Mission calls,” Bruce said unrepentantly.

“So? You’re not my fucking boss,” Jason snapped.

“There have also been no Red Hood sightings in months, plus your civilian persona hasn’t been seen at any of your usual bars and haunts,” Tim interjected.

“We got worried Little Wing,” Dick said soothingly.

Fucking over-protective Alphas.

“Well, now you can see I’m fine, so get the hell out,” Jason snapped.

“Not until you explain,” Bruce said stubbornly, “Not until-”

Everyone froze as the baby started crying.

“Aw, shit, now look what you did,” Jason said, dropping the knifes and hurrying over to pick the girl up.

“You- baby- that’s a baby, Jay,” Dick stammered out, creeping cautiously closer.

“No shit, sherlock,” Jason grumbled as he soothed his daughter with soft cooing sounds.

“Why-”

“Obviously it’s Todd’s, Grayson,” Damian spoke up for the first time, “Or has your nose stopped functioning?”

“You had a baby?” Tim looked completely disgruntled.

“And you didn’t tell us?!” Dick was starting to sound offended.

Bruce’s mouth was a hard line, his shoulders full of tension.

“Will you guys shut-up?” Jason glared, “You’re going to wake up Lian too at this rate.”

“Lian? As in Lian Harper? Why would she…” Tim trailed off.

“...I’m going to fucking castrate Roy.” Dick growled. Bruce honestly looked like he might help him.

“Will you knot-heads quit it?” Jason snapped, “This is my family and my husband and I’ll thank you all to get your noses out of our business.”

“Your what?!”

Jason growled. It was going to be a long night.