#the usual ''the person is in there somewhere and theyre forced to watch their body do stuff'' thing is not my fav for sure

[localsolverhost]

i REEEEALLY should write my headcanons on how the solver possession works i have THOUGHTS i just dont know how to put those in WORDS

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, Ep. 1 (Cont)

So obviously, Hibiki lived. What, you thought she died? Nah, not yet.

The show punts us back to the present.

And Hibiki’s in a brand new school! Looks good. It looks better than most University campuses. So it be in the psuedo-future, where pods and towers and glass are everywhere, and god knows how the condensation works in the building.

And it’s a music academy! Because fuck you, this is a musical anime. What, you thought she was going to a technical school? Trade school? No buddy. Better get with the choir ‘cause we singin’ out here.

All the teachers hate Hibiki, because she’s the world’s biggest goof.

This is karmically balanced by her having such a swanky dormitory that it outrivals most high end studio apartments. Look at this shit. Look how many square feet that is. A family could live in here. Is she paying for this? How can you afford this?

“i saved my money”

Her roommate? It should be obvious.

Her soon-to-be wife. This is not an exaggeration. She literally acts like her housewife. This is something even the voice actresses keep in mind. It’s that ingrained.

I... what? But. But they do...

She loves her idiot girlfriend.

Tsubasa is going solo for depressingly obvious reasons. Also, she goes to this school! Nobody really cares, though. It’s sorta weird really, you’d think more people would freak out that a pop star of national acclaim would be getting classes at their school, but nah! Not a damn person cares. It’s just the usual.

Oh right. Hibiki cares. That’s real fucking creepy, Hibiki.

This scar is important. It’s what she got after the whole incident. You might say it’s going to show off her... forte! Eh? Eh...? ‘Cause, ‘cause it’s a forte symbol, and it means force in italian, and it means she’s gonna get stronger, and... okay. Okay, I’ll shut up.

Harry Potter jokes aside, Hibiki isn’t just tailing Tsubasa to be a creepy stalker. She wants answers; mainly an explanation for what the fuck happened during that whole Noisefest 2017 thing, and why they were in admittedly cool outfits singing to themselves without any music (because presumably the music is only in our perspective, not theirs).

Hibiki’s really hung up about not dying, and she’s worried the whole Symphogear revelation was just part of a near death hallucination. Like seeing angels right before dying, except a bit more anime.

Anyway, time to go to sleep together with your bestest friend in the whole wide world who clearly would not marry you at the drop of a dime.

In the top bunk of a bunk bed. Clearly heterosexual behavior. Straight as straight can be.

Meanwhile the Noise are wrecking shop in some undisclosed location somewhere as the military keeps attacking them.

This is a bad time to point out that guns, bullets, and all conventional artillery and means of warfare have no effect on the Noise. This is also a bad time to remind you that this is not the first altercation; so much so that civilians are on a first name basis with them.

“i am literally being thrown into a meat grinder”

Tsubasa shows up explicitly to clown on the military, putting the F. U. in SNAFU.

Tsubasa is currently an angsty gay mess. Her girlfriend’s gone, she’s in the same school as the person she sacrificed her life for, and she’s real fucking lonely. Also her family sucks ass. I mean real ass. Not the traditional ass. We’re talking advanced ass.

Abridged footage of Tsubasa defeating the Noise.

“why the fuck were we even sent out to begin with”

Meanwhile at Lydian, where fully stocked healthy buffet options are just The Norm in this cafeteria. You know, just making more higher tier casual food restaurants be put to shame by this.

Hibiki eats the SHIT out of things. Spiritually, she’s basically Goku.

Tsubasa comes in and some girls sorta lose their shit but otherwise they’re really keeping it together for being near a celebrity. Hibiki gets up and-

“uhhhhhhhh hi”

Awkward sniffing noises.

“aw damn shits gettin real too bad i cant watch this i got a four course meal to get to HA CHA CHA”

And in a single hand gesture, Tsubasa absolutely destroys the shit out of Hibiki.

Annihilated. Never living that one down. Total destruction of her ego.

You know it’s bad when even your girlfriend-to-be roasts you for it.

Yeah, pirating is the only way to get the- I mean! Digital goods are only to be retrieved through purchase.

Anyway. Our lovely little nerd sets off to buy some limited edition CDs of her favorite idol and also her classmate, Tsubasa; the clipped wing of Zwei Wing. A fitting, but unfortunatre title. Hibiki is all giddy about this until her Hibiki sense tingles.

The patented HibikiSense technology only goes off in two scenarios: When she’s hungry, and when she’s in danger. Using her limited, but sharpened, braincells, Hibiki understands that she already ate several times. So the only thing left is-

You know, you’d think there’d be zone warnings about this kind of stuff it happens on the regular. But this is Hibiki, so she probably never paid attention to them.

Intense fax noises in brain.

Hibiki, being A Good Person, goes out of her way to save a little girl she heard in danger.

Weirdly, the day changed rapidly, but fuck it, we all know it’s for the drama.

I want you to take a moment to process this picture. How long do you think the Noise have just been standing there to catch those two? Do you think they all collectively went “You know, they’re gonna end up here, so let’s just wait it out for a bit.” And then just stood there for hours? These are the things that keep me up at night.

Hibiki makes her run to the shelter with the girl, but failed to realize having 4 meals in succession is a real bad thing to do before running what culminates a triathlon.

Hibiki remembers Kanade’s words of advice, though. They ring out something like:

So she keeps going. And going. And going.

What a thrill...

She makes it to the roof of some... power facility complex? With strong Megaman vibes? And they hide out there, blissfully unaware that this does not stop something that has rockets phase right through them. And can, y’know, fly.

Surprise, motherfucker. Thought you saw the last of me.

Cornered, and out of options, she does what any main protagonist would do in the worst possible situation.

Whips out some good ol’ fashioned superpowers, baby!

Even the noise are confused! They literally look at each other and go “uhhh, what” and wonder what the fuck is going on!

“ohhhhhhh my GODDDDD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING MY EYES”

Naturally it’s just GOTTA be an EVENT everybody’s gotta know about.

“oh my god the gaydar’s OFF THE CHARTS”

The impact of this is that this is Kanade’s old relic, which was used as the basis of her Symphogear. This gives two implications: She’s alive (she can’t be), or someone else is wearing her duds in a hand-me-down fashion.

GUNGIR DATTO?!

“no fucking why. is. is she alive? she cant be. she died in my fucking arms. i SAW her die. how the fuck- who stole her clothes? thats impossible. oh my fucking god. my brain cant take this. who the fuck is running around in my deceased girlfriend’s clothes. im going to fuck them up so bad. im going to rewire their skeleton so they have legs for arms. theyre gonna be lanky fucking kong once i get my hands on them. ohhhh my god. i need to destress at panera or something. fuck. oh my fucking god.”

As the elemental piss stream vortex keeps pulsating out of Hibiki’s chest like a strange, pulsating flashlight of energy, her very body transforms to embrace the relic and become..

Feral? She’s turning feral? Oh shit. I didn’t remember this. Oh boy. Better go see a dentist later.

Oh Jesus Christ.

I hope you never watch AKIRA, Hibiki.

Oh. Oh, you thought this was gonna be a happy transformation? You thought wrong, viewer. Hibiki is no longer fucking around. And to think, this is just the beginning...

[darkgreiga]

Wishes, Dreams, and Memories Chapter 31

Fandom: Rune Factory 4 Rating: T (to be safe) Genre(s): Adventure, Hurt/Comfort Characters: Lest, Dolce, Pico, Amber, Dylas, Leon, Frey, Arthur, Margaret, Forte Summary:  She had a wish to see him again. He had a dream of her last moments. They had their memories of having only each other. The amnesiac Earthmate never knew that by bringing his best friend back wouldn’t make his daily life go back to normal. Nor did he know she was the key to his and his ancestors’ past. Chapters: list Navigation: <<prev   |   next>> Author’s notes: The first chapter of the last arc is here!

Chapter 31 – Calm after the Storm

-Lest’s POV-

After the battle, Kane managed to find us in the castle after he had gone to the cave to escort the Guardians out safely. Frey explained everything to us, about how the Guardian’s corruption could affect even Venti, and we also told everyone about our relation to Ethelberd and Halwell. The news was a surprise to them as much as it was a surprise to me. After all, we don’t even look like the Sechs emperors by the outside and inside.

Two weeks have passed since that day. I can’t tell whether the corruption is completely gone or not, but all I can tell is that Venti is doing a lot better than when the corruption was still at large. Frey isn’t staying in the castle with us anymore, but she still visits us at least once every two days. She still has duties to attend back in the capital, so she can’t stay longer than a few hours.

I’m starting to feel that she is a close sister to me, but on the other side I can still tell that she’s not telling us everything. None of the Guardians or Kane actually paid attention to Frey’s wound back then, expect for Dolly and Pico. She looked like she was aware of something about Frey, but for some reason, she’s keeping it from me. I can’t actually force her to talk about it, but the fact that she’s hiding something from me is bothering me somehow. Why can’t you just talk to me about it if it’s actually bothering you?

-Third Person POV-

“Sweetie, will you stop staring at me?” the sound of his wife snapped Lest out of his trains of thought, realizing that Dolce was standing in front of him.

“Oh, sorry,” Lest shook his head to make sure that he was completely awake before putting his hoe over his shoulder, “Well, I’ll be working in the fields for the time being so let Frey know when she drops by to visit.”

“I will,” Dolce nodded before giving him a peck on the cheek, “Work hard, okay?”

Dolce watched as Lest left for the fields before Pico popped in front of her, “Are you sure about this, Dolly? Shouldn’t you say something about it to him?”

“No,” Pico followed Dolce closely as the two of them headed for the kitchen, “I need to be certain about the facts first. What we’re thinking now is just the conclusion we come into after we looked at her wound.”

“You’re scared, aren’t you milady?” Pico’s words made the Guardian stop her activity, “You know how it feels to lose a family… well, both of us do.”

Dolce let out a sigh as she turned to Pico with a frown, “He’ll know the truth sooner or later. I don’t want him to think that I’m hiding everything from him.”

Pico let out a sigh and smiled, “I think you’re worrying too much, Dolly. A bit more than usual, I guess,” Pico watched her friend working in the kitchen, “I guess I can see how much your love for Lest had changed my Dolly!”

A blush appeared on the Guardian’s face as she continued cooking, “S-Shut up!”

Lest let out a tired sigh before he admired his handiwork on the field, which was completely clean of garbage from the storm two weeks earlier. Crop seeds were planted on the tilled field and they had already been watered. His job on the field was finished and it was time for him to do his work in town.

Just as Lest was putting down his tools at the edge of the field, a scroll fell out from his pocket. He picked up the fallen scroll and the emblem of the Sechs Empire was visible on the scroll’s paper. A frown came to his face as he remembered the scroll’s contents when it was first given to him.

-Flashback-

“So…” Lest spoke up to Arthur and Kane as the three of them were in Arthur’s office, “The empire is requesting me to be the acting emperor?”

“Yes,” Kane nodded as he rolled the scroll he was holding and handed it over to Lest, “Lord Halwell still hasn’t awakened after a week of recovery even after getting help from the best doctors.”

Arthur turned to Lest, “It would be sad to see you go, but I will not force you to go if you wish to stay.”

Lest turned back to Kane, but stared at him for a moment before speaking up, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“No, I understand,” Kane responded with a smile, “The higher ups only requested for you because of your relation to Lord Ethelberd, but they never forced me to take you back.”

“Speaking of which,” Arthur interrupted, getting Kane’s attention, “How is the empire doing currently?”

“Much better than when everyone was corrupted, that’s for sure,” Kane replied with a shrug, “Everyone remembers what happened, but they don’t really know why it happened. Other than that, the corruption in the empire seems to have disappeared without a trace.”

“I see,” Arthur nodded in understanding, “If there is anything else we can do to help, please let us know.”

“Of course,” Kane nodded, “My main purpose for coming here is to deliver the scroll, but I’ll tell the higher ups that you can’t take Lord Halwell’s place.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Lest waved the soldier goodbye as he left the office.

-End of Flashback-

“The acting emperor?” Ventuswill asked as Lest showed her the scroll in the dragon room, “Hey, I guess I’m right about you being royalty after all!”

Lest let out a laugh, “Don’t be too proud on it, Venti. You need to remember who my father was.”

“I know,” Ventuswill paused for a moment as she stared at the wall, “Speaking of Ethelberd, I think I recall hearing something when I was still in the forest. I know that I recognize that voice, now I remember that it was him.”

“Wait,” Lest looked at the dragon god in surprise, “You met him in the Forest of Beginnings?”

“Not exactly meeting in person, though,” Ventuswill put her claw under her jaw as she tried recalling the encounter, “I can only hear his voice saying that he won’t surrender until all Earthmates perish.”

“Can he still be alive in there? And corrupting people into doing things they shouldn’t do?” Lest asked.

“No,  that won’t be possible,” Ventuswill shook her head, “Humans can’t stay and live in there for a long period of time. If a person stays there for longer than they should have, their body will soon break into runes. Even so, the soul would still remain in there forever unless there’s a special case that they’re resurrected.”

“Just like what happened to you,” Lest added, “But if his soul is still there, can he do any harm to the world?”

“Hm…” Ventuswill went back to her thoughts, but nothing came into her mind, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s very unlikely.”

“I hope so…” Lest let out a sigh, “This corruption thing just happens to come and go without a reason and a trace. I just wish that there’s a clue somewhere so that we can prevent it in the future…”

“And then, he ran around the house in panic while yelling that there was a deadly scorpion in the house!” Frey and Pico broke out into laughter while Dolce simply chuckled as she sipped on her tea.

The three girls were hanging around at the castle’s balcony with Frey telling stories about the siblings’ daily lives in the past. Two plates of flan were sitting on the table untouched as the three were busy talking. Pico was completely taken into the conversation, but Dolce had noticed that her guest hadn’t touched either her tea or her flan.

There was a single question she had been meaning to ask Frey and her observation prompted her to pop the question right away, “Before we hear more of those stories, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“Sure, we can talk while you have your flan,” Frey responded as she simply looked at her share of flan.

“Okay,” Dolce took her share of flan, but the scent of her favorite meal suddenly made her feel weird in the stomach, “Ugh…”

“Are you okay Dolly?” Pico saw as Dolce put a hand on her mouth before shaking her head.

“I’m fine…” Dolce uncovered her mouth before taking a spoonful of flan, only have the weird feeling on her stomach come back, “Not again…”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Frey asked worriedly as she took the flan from Dolce’s hands, “You look kind of pale.”

“I’m… okay… ugh…” Dolce quickly rose from her seat and ran inside, heading straight towards the bathroom.

“Is she sick or something?” Frey turned to Pico.

“That would be my best guess…” Pico turned to the barely touched desserts, “Dolly really loves sweets like flan and cakes, but she’s been avoiding them for the past week for some reason.”

“Hm…” Frey tapped her chin as she was thinking, “I don’t think she’s suddenly become bored of eating her favorite dishes…”

“That’s impossible. There’s no way she’s going to give up on her all-you-can-eat cake routine every-” Pico was silenced with a single talisman landing over her mouth.

“You’re saying too much,” Dolce had just returned from the bathroom, but her face told the other two that she wasn’t feeling that much different than before, “Sorry for that interruption.”

“I don’t mind, but I don’t think you look well at all,” Frey replied worriedly, “I’ll tell Lest about your condition when I see him, so why don’t you two just stay home until he gets back?”

Dolce let out a defeated sigh, “That… might be the best…”

Lest let out a tired sigh as he pushed the castle door open while carrying an extra paper bag with him. With Dolce taking her temporary leave from her evening shift, he decided that it might be best for them to eat dinner at home to let her rest at home. With the ingredients in the paper bag put in the kitchen, Lest left for his room to check on Dolce.

Lest had expected the female Guardian to be asleep with Pico watching over her, the scene he saw was Dolce knitting on the bed with a terrified Pico at the edge of the bed, “I’m… home…?”

“Oh, welcome back Sweetie,” Dolce put her knitting aside and greeted Lest with a smile as she approached her, “How was work today?”

“More or less the usual, I guess…” Lest’s attention was focused on Pico as he let Dolce took his backpack off him, “More importantly, what happened to Pico?”

“Just a simple argument between us,” Dolce replied, completely ignoring the fact that Pico was still in the room, “Are you going to prepare dinner tonight?”

“Yeah,” Lest nodded, “I was planning to make your favorite cake today, so-”

“I want… something else, if that’s okay…” the attention of the other two in the room shifted to her, “I want… some fried veggies…”

The room became completely silent with Pico hovering in front of her with the look of disbelief, “Did I hear that right? Dolly, you never liked eating any kind of vegetables!”

“I’m kind of surprised too,” Lest added, “But if that’s what you want, I guess I need to head out to buy the missing ingredients…”

“Alright,” Dolce nodded, “Sorry for the trouble.”

The two watched as Lest left before Pico turned back to Dolce, “Are you sure you’re fine milady? Do you need Jones to check your condition?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Dolce let out a sigh before she went back to her knitting, “You’re being a lot more stubborn today. Do you want to be wrapped in talismans again?”

“N-No, please don’t do that again to me!”

[welllpthisishappening]

I wanted to tell you I watched an NHL game last week for the first time. Its all down to Blue Line! Hockey playing Killian is too hot. Except that playoff beard...*shudder* (Baseball fan usually so I know the playoff beard. I mean I get it, but theyre so ugly. Lol) If you were serious about ideas for stuff for the Blue Line world, I would adore seeing Emma’s joy when the playoff beard returns to normal Killian/Colin scruff. And her reluctant admission that yes, she hates the playoff beard. Haha.

Ah, this is the nicest anon! Hockey-playing Killian and this whole group of other Rangers has kind of taken over my life. They win a lot more than the real Rangers, but that’s neither here nor there and I’m mostly just bitter that our defense is so awful. 

Anyway, I agree completely about the playoff beard. The worst. The woooooorst. So here’s, uh, here’s 4.1K on playoff beards and athletic superstition and Emma’s thoughts on making out with her boyfriend. Set just a few days before the epilogue of Tripping Over the Blue Line. Also, whispers, I’m always down for Blue Line prompts and The PyeongChang Triple updates on Tuesday and Friday at noon. 

“It’s just…very long.”

His lips twitched at the announcement, eyes cracking open and Emma tried to hold her ground – something that was easier said than done when they were still in bed and she wasn’t sitting up, just a pretzel of limbs and blankets and pillows and a playoff beard that had, officially, overstayed its welcome.

“I’ve got it on good authority that’s how hair works, Swan,” Killian muttered, arching an eyebrow and that wasn’t playing fair at all. He grinned when she rolled her eyes.

“You’re being difficult on purpose.”“You’re making sweeping comments on hair.”

“Facial hair.”“Is there a difference?”

“I mean, obviously,” Emma grumbled, nearly kicking a blanket off the bed when she flipped onto her side and –– “God, that is just stupid.”

Killian’s eyebrows flew up his forehead, the left joining the right in its apparent quest to make her stomach do several somersaults at whatever time it was, “You’re shouting insults at me now,” he grinned, flipping his head on the pillow and maybe he should get a haircut too.

His hair kept falling into his eyes and, really, Emma didn’t mind that much because his whole face seemed to shift when she’d lean over and brush it away and that did something else to her stomach too, but she could only think so many sentimental things at once and she was on a quest.

A facial hair quest.

She’d come up with a different name eventually.

Maybe after she forced a razor in his hand.

“Swan,” Killian prompted, tapping a finger on her wrist and she nearly jumped out of the bed. “You’re like a live wire. Why are you making proclamations about facial hair?”Emma made a face, scrunching her nose and working a laugh out of him and this was not going according to plan at all.

Four days after making history and finding themselves on Page Six, again, and there was still a goddamn trophy sitting on her kitchen counter, and they hadn’t really done much more than sleep and kiss and not kiss and occasionally eat and Killian kept trying to force her to drink glasses of water because “hydration is important, Swan,” and the smirk whenever he said that was easily the best and worst thing she’d ever seen.

They’d been outside twice.

For the post-victory dinner and brunch at the brownstone before Mr. Vankald drove Elsa and Liam and three painfully adorable children to LaGuardia.

He wouldn’t let them call a car.

It was the single most familial thing Emma had ever seen – and Mrs. Vankald hand wrote her recipe for cinnamon sugar french toast and handed it to Emma before they went back uptown.

She kind of wanted to make cinnamon sugar french toast.

But, now, four days after making history and locking themselves away from the rest of the world, they had another team dinner and a parade to help plan and something needed to be done about the playoff beard.

“It’s overstayed its welcome,” Emma muttered, realizing rather belatedly she’d never actually answered his question. His eyes fell closed when he laughed, shoulders shaking against the mattress when he tried to tug her back against his side.

Emma flopped down, twisting her arm awkwardly underneath her and Killian was still laughing when he looked at her – eyes just a hint brighter than usual and that was almost impressive considering how much hair kept falling into his eyes.

“Should I be offended by that?” Killian asked. “I have been a little preoccupied.”He widened his eyes meaningfully, something that felt a bit like flirting lingering in the air and Emma bit her lip so she didn’t do something stupid like push his shoulders even further into the mattress and hitch her leg over his hip and that was part of the problem to begin with.

“Not offended,” she argued. “Just…it’s really long.”“You’ve mentioned that several times now, love.”“Yeah, well, you keep doing whatever, so it’s really cheating and it seems wrong to tell you that I want you to shave your face.”That smirk was the dumbest thing in the entire world.

And kind of working.

And she didn’t even want to think about how many e-mails were sitting in her inbox. She hoped Merida wasn’t too stressed out. Emma had never planned a parade before.

There were probably eight-hundred forms to fill out.

“Shave my face,” Killian echoed, sounding as if he was just half a second away from another round of laughter and Emma stuck her tongue out. The laughter arrived in full force, bouncing off the walls of her apartment and maybe into the center of her soul or something equally absurd and she was definitely going to make french toast.

“What else would you call it?” Emma asked. “You really can’t show up to dinner looking like you’ve spent the last two months in the mountain.”

His whole body shook with the force of his laughter and Emma was going to do permanent damage to her shoulder if she kept twisting and turning and trying to smack at her boyfriend – her Stanley Cup-winning, distractingly attractive, even when he looked like he was auditioning to be some kind of Bear Grylls stand-in boyfriend.

“God, you are the most frustrating person in the entire world, you know that?” Emma groused, voice muffled when her head landed on his shoulder and Killian hummed before kissing the top of her hair.

“That’s been mentioned a few times, yes,” Killian grinned. He traced his hand across the curve of her spine, brushing in between her shoulder blades and back down and it probably would have been decidedly romantic if Emma didn’t reach up her hand and tug on the end of his beard. “God,” he yelped, eyes flashing towards her, all blue and sharp and Emma couldn’t really shrug, but she tried anyway and maybe her smile was a little cheating. “That was almost aggressive, Swan.”“I have a lot of feelings about this facial hair.”“You seem to have one feeling about its length.”“Because it is mountain-man long. Robert Redford in that movie long. Haven’t seen humans in years long. Very good at foraging for berries long. Should have signed with the Sharks long.”

Killian glared, but it didn’t hold much weight and front office was still talking and Regina hadn’t kicked down the apartment door yet, which either meant it was going well or absolutely horrible and Emma was an absolute idiot.

Superstitious athletes.

“Killian,” she breathed, but he shook his head once and the force of her jaw snapping shut seemed to reverberate down her spine.

“Jeremiah Johnson,” he said. Emma blinked. “The Robert Redford movie you’re looking for is Jeremiah Johnson.

“God, why do you know that?”He smiled, kissing her forehead again and Emma shifted, twisting her legs up with his and the blankets and there really weren’t many clothes between them. She had no idea where her phone even was.

“Swan, you brought it up,” Killian pointed out. “If you’re going to make sweeping generalizations about the state of my facial hair with slightly dated Hollywood references, then you’re not allowed to be surprised that I know what you’re talking about. Those are the rules.”“Those are incredibly detailed rules.”“Call ‘em like I see ‘em.”“Pun or cliché?”“An overused answer in post-game press conferences.”Emma smiled, something fluttering in the pit of her stomach that felt a lot like hopes and wants and they should probably discuss their apartment situation at some point. After the parade. After dinner. Definitely after he shaved his face.

“I have worked in the league for years and I have never once heard a single person use that phrase at any point,” Emma laughed, arching her back when his hand moved again and they were never going to get out of bed. She’d make him shave that goddamn beard in her bedroom if she had to. “It doesn’t even make any sense. That is a baseball pun. At best.”“I thought we decided it wasn’t a pun.”

Killian made a noise in the back of his throat, half a laugh and a bit of a disagreement and someone’s phone rang…somewhere in her apartment. “I really don’t know what we’re talking about at this point,” he said. “Is that your phone or my phone?”“I don’t know. How come you’re worried?”“About?”“Killian!”

“You’re still assuming I know what we’re talking about, Swan. And I think that’s your phone. I’m fairly certain mine is dead.”Emma rolled her eyes, hardly surprised and just a bit charmed and Merida was probably freaking out about permits. “Why are you worried about this? You won a Stanley Cup. You stole a Conn-Smythe.”“Borrowed.”“That implies you were intending to give it back and that would require you to actually leave this apartment. Is that why you haven’t shaved? So the league reps won’t recognize you?”“I have every intention of getting out of this bed at some point today.”“With a razor?”“That question suggests that there is, somewhere, in this bed a razor that I would bring with me when I got out of said bed.”“Oh my God,” Emma groaned, squeezing her eyes closed and Killian chuckled lightly under his breath. Her phone stopped ringing. And started again.

“How many times do you think Merida will call to ask you about the parade before she tells Ruby you’re not answering your phone and Lucas arrives with some sort of battering ram?”Emma laughed, but he probably wasn’t far off the mark and her stomach growled. Loudly. Killian quirked an eyebrow, waiting for a response and pointedly ignoring what he absolutely was not admitting to. “Half a dozen,” she answered. “But I’m not sure if that includes the inevitable text messages and e-mails she’s sent too. And you’re being stupid.”“I’m sorry, what?”“They already told Regina they were going to offer. She’s probably just bartering zeroes.”“I don’t think you barter with contract extensions, Swan.”“And I think you’re refusing to shave because you’re trying to hold onto some kind of Stanley Cup winning magic or whatever.”His eyebrows shifted again, another deflection and Emma tried not to scowl. It didn’t work. “Are you suggesting that we won the Stanley Cup with magic, love?” Killian asked, taking his time on every letter and Emma probably wouldn’t have been able to hear the strain in his voice a few months before.

It felt like it reached out and slapped her.

“De. Flec. Ting,” she said, rapping her knuckles on his chest in between every syllable. He caught her around the wrist as soon as her jaw snapped, tugging her hand up and brushing his lips over her knuckles and it sent a chill down her spine that felt incredibly out of place in the middle of the summer and the start of the offseason and she kind of wanted him to shave just so there was more face to kiss.

She didn’t say that out loud.

“Maybe a little,” Killian admitted, widening his eyes when Emma let out a sound that was vaguely triumphant. “And maybe I really didn’t want to get out of bed when you’ve been in it. Wearing team-branded when you happen to do wear anything.”Emma had a response. She did. She had some sort of flirty, slightly sarcastic retort, could feel it sitting on the tip of her tongue, but then she met his gaze and he looked so….certain. In this and them and how much he wanted to stay in New York and, maybe, stay in bed and her fingers were in his hair before she realized her brain had even decided she wanted them to be there.

She made a noise when he moved her, something between breathless and swooning and eventually she’d tell him that she absolutely, positively did not care about the zeroes or whatever Regina was bartering or anything even remotely related to the inevitable Post story about his contract negotiations, but Emma was far too busy trying to document whatever her whole body did when he canted his hips up.

A live wire.

The beard scratched against her jaw when Killian kissed her, likely leaving red marks in its way when he moved down the side of her neck. She nipped at his collarbone in retaliation and she’d probably think about the sound he made – some kind of strangled, needy, slightly desperate thing – for the rest of her goddamn life.

And if they’d been a mess of limbs and blankets before, it was nothing compared to what they were now – hands moving quickly, like they were trying to stretch the moment out in front of them with their legs twisted together and Killian hissed when Emma’s toes brushed against the side of his ankle.

“You’re feet are freezing,” he mumbled and she could feel the hint of his smile against her skin.

Emma rolled her hips in response, working another groan out of him and the morning was doing dangerous things to her ego and certainty that she could plan a parade in 48-hours. “You’re talking way too much.”He grinned at her, a flash of teeth and want and calling it desire sounded absurd, but she was having a hard time formulating coherent thoughts anyway so that seemed like par for the course.

That was another pun.

Or cliché.

Whatever.

Emma rocked back, trying to find enough space between them to tug the shirt over her head, but Killian’s fingers were back on her wrist and she was fairly certain the look on his face had imprinted itself on several different parts of her brain.

He shook his head deftly, something in his gaze that probably would have led her to come up with another electricity pun if she was still a cognizant human being, but Emma was straddling her boyfriend and he couldn’t shave because he was nervous about the rest of his professional hockey-playing career and all of those things colliding together formed some sort of impossible scenario where they absolutely had sex while she was still wearing team-branded.

And his number.

“You’ve got some sort of name and number thing happening here, don’t you?” Emma asked knowingly and the tips of Killian’s ear’s went red. She brushed her tongue over her teeth, a shock of control shooting through her limbs and it felt a bit like standing in the middle of an inferno or winning a Stanley Cup four days before and she didn’t hear her phone ring again.

Killian shook his head again, shifting against the mattress with a hand heavy on Emma’s hip. She could see the tendons in his neck when she stared at, strained as he tilted his head back into the pillow and his eyes fluttered shut.

Emma smiled. And laughed. “It’s rude to laugh like that, love,” he mumbled, voice gruff and that need was back. They were never going to get out of bed.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Emma countered. She ducked her head, letting her lips trail across his jaw and he probably couldn’t even feel it through the ridiculous amount of beard. “I’m just pointing out observations. Play by play as it were.”He groaned when she carded her fingers through his hair, nails scraping lightly over the nape of his neck and there were goosebumps on his skin. She was bordering just on the edge of uncomfortable, body bent in a way that wasn’t doing anything for her thighs, but Emma laughed when Killian’s hand moved again, pushing underneath cotton and a t-shirt that still looked pretty good even after a season of team rules and away games and some kind of historic performance.

There was a deeper meaning in there.

She ignored it.

“You’re the one who said I was talking too much, love,” Killian bit out, flipping them again and grinning when Emma’s hair splayed out underneath her. “Quid pro quo or whatever.”“Ah, you are a font of cliché.”

He opened his mouth to mutter something, but Emma didn’t give him a chance, tugging him back down and she might have sighed when his lips crashed against hers, but that might have been him too and she’d lost track of anything that wasn’t how exceptionally good they were at kissing each other.

She never took the shirt off.

They did, eventually, get out of bed, lingering in each other’s space and Emma was fairly certain her neck would be red for most of the offseason, but there was a mark just under Killian’s collarbone so it felt like they were almost even.

“You want some help?” she asked, voice quiet when they padded into the hallway. She wasn’t wearing any pants.

Killian tilted his head, like he was waiting for some metaphorical rug to be yanked out from underneath him, and Emma tried to smile. “Yeah, ok,” he said, letting his palm rest flat against her back and it was some sort of miracle they didn’t trip over each other on the way into the bathroom.

It was a balancing act of sorts – Emma perched on the edge of the sink with her toes only just skimming the floor and Killian standing in between her legs with a pair of tiny scissors in her hand. She tried to concentrate, but that was a very distinct type of challenge when his thumb was brushing small circles around her knee and Emma was positive she nearly cut off his nose at least four times.

“You don’t have to do anything except snip, Swan,” he muttered and the whole thing felt oddly personal and, somehow, a bit romantic and she’d clearly lost her mind.

Maybe it was because they hadn’t been outside in two days.

“Stop moving,” she grumbled. “You’re freaking me out.”“You know I am capable of shaving myself, love.”Emma hummed, a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat, and she nearly stabbed him in the cheek when he smiled. “I’m just trying to make sure this happens. Do we have…whatever here? Are you going to ruin your face doing this?”“Shaving cream?”

She didn’t answer immediately and Emma tried to cut in a straight line, far too aware of the placement of his nose and the quirk of his lips when the scissors got too close. “You know it’s going to be fine, right?” Emma asked, hooking her foot around the back of his knee. He nearly crashed into the cabinet under the sink. “Like…no matter what?”Killian’s eyes flashed, darting up towards Emma and they should really find shaving cream. It felt like the wrong moment to mention that.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I do know that. And there’s shaving cream underneath your left foot because I brought it before the season started.”Emma bit her lip. “Planning ahead, Cap?”“Hoping.”“Unnecessary.”

“Move the scissors so I don’t impale myself while trying to kiss you.”

She did and he did and there was shaving cream on the edge of her shirt by the time Killian ushered her out of the bathroom and told her to put Merida out of her misery.

Emma had sixteen text messages and two very detailed threats from Ruby and she was mumbling instructions to Merida, phone pressed against her ear with her shoulder and Mrs. Vankald’s recipe sitting on her counter, when she heard the quiet whir of an electric razor at the other end of the hall.

It took him nearly forty-five minutes and Emma was in the midst of trying to decide how to separate the team on floats that could only be certain dimensions as dictated by the city of New York and the canyon of heroes when she heard footsteps.

She nearly took out the pan on the stove when she spun around.

And Merida shouted when Emma dropped her phone.

“It’s rude to stare, Swan,” Killian said, arms crossed lightly over his shirt and she couldn’t stop moving her eyes, tracing over the clothes and how well they fit and the distinct lack of any facial hair. He smiled when he took a step forward, bending to grab her phone and she was pleasantly surprised to find her entire arm didn’t explode when he brushed his fingers over her palm.

Merida was still talking.

“Not staring,” Emma said. “Just…” She waved her free hand through the air, sighing when one side of Killian’s mouth tugged up and maybe he should have shaved the eyebrows off too if they were going to keep doing whatever it was they were doing.

Taunting her.

The fucking eyebrows were taunting her.“Certainly feels like staring,” Killian countered, tilting his head and maybe she wouldn’t think about those sounds from before all night. She’d think about his jaw. And the shape of it. And how sharp it looked when it wasn’t covered in playoff beard or perpetual stubble and Emma wasn’t sure she was still breathing.

His cheeks flushed slightly when she didn’t say anything, rocking back on his heels and it wasn’t jarring so much as it was surprising and attractive and Merida was still talking about player distribution.

They should come up with another name for that too.

“Swan,” Killian said, caution in the name and his face and she couldn’t stop staring at his face.

She’d had seen photos at the brownstone – Draft night and college articles and even that one picture of the entire family on the steps of a downtown courthouse, slightly stunned smiles on their faces and there’d been no hint of a beard then, but this was…something else all together.

Killian always had stubble, not quite a beard, but definitely enough that it would drag across her skin in a way that made her toes curl and it always made him seem…him. And now it was like she was seeing his entire face for the first time, looking younger and more open than Emma could remember and her toes curled for a totally different reason.

She wasn’t sure he’d completely shaved since he got into the league.

That felt important. To this and them and each other and maybe she was just as weirdly possessive as he was.

Emma reached up, brushing the tips of her fingers over his jaw and the slant of his cheekbones, mumbling something to Merida when she asked another question. “Your cheekbones are insane,” she said, rolling her eyes when Killian blinked in surprise. The smirk was back. “That’s not what I was planning to say.”“I’ll take it,” he grinned, brushing his lips over her. Merida absolutely heard. “Is she freaking out?”“Kind of. You want to share a float with Scarlet? He’s got to film all this stuff anyway and we’ve got to put your face everywhere.”“My face specifically?”“Yeah.”“Huh.”“Fishing for compliments.”“Eh, you were staring, Swan,” Killian said and her breath hitched when he pulled her flush against his chest, nuzzling his nose into her hair. The french toast was going to burn. “And I don’t care about float positioning or distribution or however seriously Scarlet is taking his filming duties. Whatever you need, love.”“That seems fairly wide sweeping.”“It does.”

Merida shouted something that sounded like I don’t need to be here for this and we can figure this out later, boss and Emma barely heard her when Killian tugged the phone from her hand and they had to make more french toast.

Robin and Will both laughed at the distinct lack of facial hair later that night, collapsing against the side of the bar in the restaurant with hands around their middles and tears in their eyes and they only stopped when they noticed the look on Emma’s face.

Killian wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head and didn’t flinch when Roland leapt towards him shouting Hook, look at your face like he was a totally different person.

There were probably comments on the SubReddit – discussion and discord about Cap’s lack of beard and what it meant or could mean, but Emma spent most of the night kissing everywhere she could and she was, absolutely, done worrying about the internet.

She was fairly certain Mary Margaret looked close to tears several times.

And, two days later, on a float in downtown Manhattan, when the scruff was back and the zeroes were certain and the future was set, Emma kept kissing everywhere she could, trying to promise and ensure and she was fairly positive it worked when Killian muttered I love you, Swan in her ear.

She didn’t take the team-branded off.

[tumblunni]

OH MAN GEEZ IM FUCKIN EMOTIONAL ALREADY black butler: book of circus spoilers below:

oh god, the ways they expanded the story for the anime are SO FUCKIN SAD I kinda like that they made it so you actually do see the circus crew kidnapping children this time. I mean, I dont think its made to make them any less sympathetic, but it definately reminds you that the playing field is even here and they’re morally complicated rather than just poor innocent victims of mr evil protagonist. Also its REALLY GORY and REALLY PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR

Its so messed up, seriously These poor kids are being sent to kidnap other kids, by a creepy asshole murder pedophile fuck. And they dont know WHY theyre kidnapping kids, they don’t know what happens to the ones they hand over. And they’re all JUST FUCKING KIDS, they’re fucking children who’re all heavily disabled in different ways and LITERALLY owe their life to this horrible villain man. And they dont know why they were saved and why these other kids are.. going.. somewhere else. And they really dont know whether to trust their ‘father’, but its pretty clear they all have their suspicions that the kidnapped kids might be dying. But they dont have anywhere else to go if they disobey their father, and he’s fucking with their heads so they all feel like they’re the only onw with doubts and they cant even question it or everyone will turn on them and they’ll get kicked out on the street again and never see any of their siblings. And they all VERY MUCH know what its like to be dying on the streets. And this time they’d had a chance to know what its like to have prosthetic limbs and medical help and be able to eat three solid meals a day and wear pretty clothes and have a family. Having all that taken away will hurt even more than if they’d never known what it’s like..

So I sympathise with them, I really do. And I really believe they could have been rescued, and could have been redeemed, and ultimately we shouldnt be blaming them for what they did, only blaming the man who forced them into it and gave enough illusion of choice that they were able to feel guilt about it... BUT STILL that was REALLY FUCKED UP AND DISTURBING AND SAD AND DISTURBING AND SAD

seriously they PUT ON A FINAL CIRCUS SHOW for every single kid they kidnap part of it is about luring them in so they trust them, but also it seems they take it way too far for it to just be that. They almost got caught because they spent so much time doing their performance for this poor lil matchstick seller girl! and its equal parts heartwarming and DISGUSTING because this poor kid is like.. I dont even know if they drug their victims or if she was just going insane from having to see them killing the policeman that tried to save her they’re just horribly gorily fighting the policemen, stabbing a fucking knife through some guy’s eye, and the kid is sitting there having a complete mental collapse, laughing as if this is all part of the show. And we get this twisted vision of her point of view, seeing the nice clown man doing a funny show smacking mr teddy bear with a mallet, as the dead body of the policeman falls at her feet. And then they bundle her into the carriage and thats just the end. We dont find out what happens to the kidnapped kids, any more than the kidnappers know... We just got to learn so much about this poor kid, and that poor policeman, and have a bunch of heartwarming moments of them becoming friends, and then she just turns the corner for like five minutes and the policeman is like ‘wtf is that flute music’ then sees a fuckin ENTIRE CIRCUS IN AN ALLEYWAY and gets stabbed through the goddamn eye trying to reach the kid in time. And she’s so out of it that she couldnt even see him. His last thoughts were probably seeing her glassy eyes staring right through him... And we know that he had a daughter that this street urchin reminded him of, and we know she had a sick little brother who really needed the money the policeman gave her, and an abusive mother that’ll probably be forcing that poor brother to go out panhandling now her daughter is gone.. And just... GAHH my fucking emotions my sadness and also A LOT OF FEAR so much blood

and I KNOW HOW IT ENDS i know that the kids don’t fuckin go to a happy place with a nice new dad and ‘father’ only spared those few kids so they could be pawns he could manipulate into capturing more kids, and test subjects for his evil science team’s freaky bullshit and they dont even KNOW that they’re test subjects! they dont know that their prosthetic limbs are MADE FROM THE OTHER KIDNAPPED KIDS WHO NEVER CAME BACK god, im already imagining how they’d fuckin animate the poor ringleader guy throwing up as he realizes his arm is made from someone else’s bones and then he just DIES they all just die horribly in service of this disgusting fucking child murderer pedophile that they thought was their father half of them never learn that they were the villains all along, the other half get to know it just in time to despair utterly as they’re killed off too

and evil bastard’s trump card that kept them all obeying him it DIDNT EXIST he fucking held it over their heads that their other siblings were still out there somewhere, at his ‘orphanage’, and they had to work with him so he could send money back to them so they could all be happy too when really he’d killed them long ago, and for all we know they could be the ones that joker’s prosthetic arm was made from T_T and ciel’s fuckin only chance to do something to help the people he completely failed who all died hating him and thinking he’d betrayed them, that they were the good guys and he was the villain... that last chance was a fucking lie he tried to save the ‘other kids’ and the fucking ‘orphanage’ was an empty abandoned building full of nothing but maybe a stray doll they left behind before they were all horribly murdered so we just end on our protagonist being the absolute villain of this arc, and the actual villains being sympathetic kids, and him laughing like a madman as his last chance of redemption blows away on the wind

oh, and he fuckin personally murdered a bunch of kids too, even though he didnt kill all his villain friends with his own hand. he found some of the kids in the lab that were test experiments, the few who hadnt been killed yet. the few who’d had to watch potentially HUNDREDS of friends be dragged kicking and screaming to that operating table, and see every second of them being eviscerated into pieces. And ciel just sees himself in them, they’re all so catatonic that they cant even see him and all he can see is himself and he knows from personal experience that a kid can come back from that, but he knows how much of a monster he’s become and he thinks the kids would be happier if they could die as they are instead of losing themself so he just sets the whole building on fire and i end up crying for him even as he’s committing a horrible act! fucking moral ambiguity: the show

and god, even this episode’s goofy friendship fun parts were horrifying too! it starts off with the whole ‘ha ha ciel doesnt know this kid is Doll, cos she ~looks like a boy~ when she’s not in costume’ random stupidness but its still cute cos she’s being so kind to the newbie, and you can learn a lot about her character from it how she’s trying to be all smiley and goofy and giving him candy and saying how she’d never even tasted it before, and now he can stay here and be her lil brother and never get hit by anyone and never go hungry and she knows the goddamn price she has to pay for all this, and she wants to keep ciel innocent of it she doesnt know he’s already just as corrupted, and he’s really a spy sent to take them down and then just DEAR GOD THAT SCENE THAT IS NOT OKAY but it was absolutely fucking necessary I think, to keep the moral ambiguity and not make us just hate ciel forever she fuckin.. accidentally triggers a ptsd flashback in the poor kid he’s never been homeless before so he doesnt realise its a group bathroom, and then freaks out and tries to run. but she’s just teasing him as part of her cool big sis persona, and doesnt realise he has an actual reason to be scared. So they end up fighting and she accidentally reveals the scar on his back to everyone the fucking brand that was burned into him when he was kidnapped and enslaved and the episode just ends with our usually unflappable protagonist curled up in a ball under a towel, shaking and crying and his only comfort is the demonic butler he’s using to enact his revenge, and all he says is just ‘you’re better than this, you’re a badass’ ciel never really has any form of actual sympathy, does he? the only person who knows about what happened to him is this morally ambiguous monster minion guy. and the whole hook of the series is that we never really know if Sebastian actually gives a shit about ciel or any of the other humans, or if he’s just waiting for the poor kid to fuck up and leave an opportunity to devour his soul. I wanna believe that Sebastian does have some sort of fatherly affection for ciel, or at least they both care about each other in a sort of.. mutually evil way. But even if thats true, its not like sebastian is gonna really be any good to talk to in a time like this. he;s just gonna sass ciel for showing weakness. he just has this fuckin motivational speech of ‘yo ciel youre a fuckin evil bastard, remember? get up and continue your evil bastard ways’. and somehow it actually kinda works and actually kinda feels affectionate in context :P BUT STILL SERIOUSLY POOR CIEL he could have turned out a lot better than this if he had someone in his life who could actually give him a goddamn hug but I guess thats not really what he wanted, even though its what he needed instead he wished for the power to enact revenge on the one who killed his family and enslaved him and he set off on this long horrible path of becoming an evil bastard to track down this other evil bastard when he’s only fuckin ELEVEN and he’s happy to throw away his soul, and doesnt care if sebastian betrays him in the end and he burns in hell forever, as long as he can stop that evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and this arc is so fucked up cos he failed so horribly to stop some OTHER evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and he’s become so twisted and antiheroey and cynical that he missed his chances to redeem those poor other twisted kids, and maybe he could have done better in stopping the real villain if he had.. and the only fuckin thing we got out of this arc was that the bastard kidnapping these children was a copycat criminal of the one who did it to ciel, so we at least finally have one clue that might lead to a resolution someday but EVERYONE DIED and ciel’s even more fucking traumatized! and he’s jumped off the deep end and become full antihero evil bastard and all the character development he had during the arc has been negated and fuckin completely reversed cos of how it ended and he lost a bazillion friends and he was betraying them the entire time, and they died resenting him, or resenting him AND learning that he was right and they’d been working for the villain all along, and then he couldnt even save their other siblings cos they were long dead and just THIS FUCKING ARC IS SO FUCKED UP GAHHHHH

I guess sometimes you just wanna watch depressing cinema, yknow? I do hope that someday this series actually ends with at least a bittersweet ending, not an equally fatalistic one that means everything was all for nothing. i want the poor circus kids’s deaths to actually mean something...

Also, randomly and incidentally, I want the giant creepy pedo incesty shipping fandom to die in a fire. Before I even started watching it, Black Butler was famous as ‘that pedo anime’, everyone acted as if Sebastian x Ciel was canon and they kept teasing it in every episode or something. BUT NOPE. NONE. NICHT. NON. NAG YDW. Where the FUCK did they even get it from, seriously?? We don’t know if Sebastian is gonna betray ciel or not in the end, but im PRETTY FUCKING SURE that he doesn’t have a boner for a fucking ten year old! I know the idea of a demon servant is a common romance novel thing, but seriously wtf is wrong with you... I know I’m mad that this arc ended so horribly, but still I feel like the various moral ambiguity discussions are super interesting and I would have regretted if I’d never read any of this manga just because of some awful fanbase members.

ANYWAY IN SUMMARY bunni cry over episode

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

200, 183, 162, 150, 137, 124, 110, 99, 73, 64, 62, 50, 48, 36, 22, 19, 18, 7, 2, 1, thank you!

200: My Crush’s name is?

Non existent. I mean there’s a girl I think is super cute but I don’t think she’s into me other than as a friend so I’m not super hardcore crushing or anything. For the most part, I don’t crush often lol.

—–

183: Piggy Banks Are:

Cute! As long as they have the plugs at the bottom. The thought of smashing ‘em makes me sad.

—–

162: Do I believe in God?

Personally, I don’t feel we can disprove the existence of a God, nor can we prove it substantially, there’s just not enough evidence to go one way or the other. And an absence of evidence is not proof of a thing either way. I do think that there are things we don’t understand still in the universe, and that there might be some kinda forces that exist in it, be they good, evil, neutral, chaotic, what have you. But they don’t possess any real sentience or anything like that If you know what I mean? It’s weird I’m sorry.

—–

150: Blondes or Brunettes?

Personally I prefer brunettes, but blonde ain’t a bad thing sugar. ; p

—–

137: Coke or Pepsi?

I prefer Pepsi by a long shot, bc it isn’t as sweet- which is also why I prefer to drink diet cola -but mostly I just drink whatevers available and I buy whatever is cheapest.

—–

124: Disney or Sixflags?

Well I’ve only been to Sixflags, but I think I prefer that to disney just bc it seems less crowded and less merch oriented? Also it exists outside of Florida/California, both of which are so fucking hot why would I go there. In general though I prefer water parks to the idea of both.

—–

110: What Do I Think About My Neighbors?

I live in an apartment complex with thin walls so, just in general, I wish they were all quieter. But I’m probably just as loud to them from their perspective, so fairs fair. Otherwise they seem nice enough but I don’t socialize with them a whole lot with like 1 exception .

—–

99: When was the Last Time I Went to a Movie Theater?

Last week I went to the movie tavern with a friend to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2! ( a fun movie, which, while not as amazing as the 1st, was still really enjoyable and worth watching!!)

—–

73: What am I Doing Tommorrow?

I’m gonna help a friend pack up her place, bc that kinda stuffs always better to do w someone!

—–

64: My friends are:

THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING BEST HOLY SHIT I LOVE THEM ALL, ONLINE AND OFF. Also in some way they are all generally ridiculous and I love ‘em for it♡♡♡♡

—–

63: My Computer Is:

Reliable, for the most part. It’s nothing fancy but it allows me to enjoy the things I wanna so I can’t complain! (It’s a lenovo)

—–

50: Where Would I Like to Be?

In a general sense, somewhere cold and rainy, but I’m at home right now, in my bed with my kitties, so that’s p. Cool too ^_^

—–

48: Ever been in love?

Nope. I love plenty of people but have not been in love. I don’t date often and I prefer platonic companionship. I do believe in love, and I like to think I’m a romantic a heart, but I think love needs to be built on trust and friendship and mutual respect, and you need to put a lot of work into it. I don’t really believe in things like soulmates, or The One, or love at first sight lol. My roomate says I’m too pragmatic about it. I seem to have veered off topic here. My bad

—–

36: What is My Favorite Vehicle?

I don’t own one. I also generally dont care much for cars, as long as theyre safe and reliable and economical, but media wise, my favorite car on TV is probably the Blueberry from Psych. I don’t know why but I love that thing.

—–

22: What s My Favorite Animal?

I really like cats ok? Big, small, domestic,wild. I just love them and their floofy lil faces and nerd ass behavior so much!

—–

19: What’s My Favorite Sport to Watch?

Out side of sports anime, which are actually interesting bc narrative and bonding, I don’t really care that much about sports. Hockey is tolerable, but if we’re being honest, that’s mostly bc I’m a 'Check, Please!’ fan and so I have grown to care for it.

—–

18: What is My Favorite Sport to Play?

Tennis is ok I guess, and I liked dodgeball in school. But mostly I’m meh on it all, sorry.

—–

7: What’s My Favorite Perfume?

I usually don’t wear it a whole lot, or I buy like bath n body works spray stuff. But if I could afford real perfume, I do quite like Light Blue by Dolce n Gabanna, and Happy by Clinique brings back good memories!

—–

2: What’s My Favorite Dog Breed?

I like mutts because they’re the best ones to own and the most friendly! Rotties are cuties too though, and Shelties are so fluffy! Corgis are also sweet little sausage fluff babies.

—–

1: Did I Answer All these Questions Truthfully?

Yep! If I hadn’t planned on it I probably wouldn’t have answered them at all, or I would have just made them wildly outrageous lol. But these were fun!!!! Thank you so much anon ♡ I hope you have a fantastic day!

[ariyadaivaris]

- VICTOPHER JOSEPH oh thank GOD we have languished in the time since you've left...welcome back

- i'm so in love with samir's earrings. enamored. obsessed. if i was emo in 2008 which sadly i was not i would be wearing those morning noon and night. he's so cute

- i love the bit where the boyz do Twin Magic and no one at all is confused by it because they look nothing alike and their gear is totally different. its SO funny. A Dastardly Plan. So Sneaky. So Clever. i love them SO much. what wouldnt i do to see them in an almost-storyline with everrise again...

- what wouldn't i do to see ANYONE on 205 in a storyline again :( it's not even that they're hammpered by the title not being on the show (for some dumbass reason) because like as we've SEEN some of 205's best storylines don't have to do with the title at all! though of course storylines around the title can ALSO be phenomenally good!! like, ANYTHING but introducing a new pop punk frontman and going "oh well ariya and tony hate them because theyre newcomers". i love gold standie, we all KNOW this, i would probably realistically stop watching if not for them, but this isn't really a story especially when it isn't going anywhere! no matter if ariya (and tony to some extent but it's really egregious with ariya) wins or loses a match, it doesn't matter or go anywhere! it's just some guys losing to some other guys and nothing happens until someone does something cool and exciting and then they get taken off 205 and to nxt.

- it's very frustrating. once mustafa got taken to the quote unquote main roster, that was it! instead of investing in the future like dbry apparently wanted (thanks sooooo much for that danny) they just take the best bits of it and stash them somewhere they can't outshine a manufactured idea of what wrestling fans will watch. 205...was at one point full of dudes left on their own to do whatever with very little oversight, and they flourished in that condition! they took things into their own hands and made it work. now it feels like...that's just not happening. nxt picks over 205 for whoever gets over and takes them. "too good for 205", or whatever. its just. god i complain about this every fuckin week i know but it really drives me insane knowing how good 205 was!!! seeing this hollow version of it really really does things to my brain. it was so good. it was so good once

- also ariya and mustafa should have feuded. ANYWAY

- OOH we're storming RIGHT in. he's MAD tonite. also he's wearing the sleekish slash design gear i like teehee

- yessssss its the submission move he picked up when he came back >:) we don't see it very often because i don't think ariya really gets to control the pace of the match that often but i think it's so cool

- IS HE DOING TONY'S MOVE?????

- HE'S KINDA DOING A VARIATION ON TONY'S GOOFY LITTLE BOA CONSTRICTOR MOVE..........it's kinda funny seeing the difference between him and tony because tony is built like a brick shithouse and ariya is built like a capital T. i described it like a boa constrictor move but ariya uses it that way far more than tony does. tony can get away with brute force usually, and ariya has to weave and ensnare and outmaneuver. not that tony can't do that when required, they just have to fight differently. idk. its fun. i like how they contrast each other :)

- god ariya literally is SO handsome. twirls hair around finger

- averts eyes. now what DID he mean by all that <3

- ariya is SO smart he is SO smart and talented and cool. don't worry mister daivari /i/ know that you should be champion. i see that you are very very good at wrestling. i understand

- DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE YESSSSSSSSSS

- ariya's physicality tonight he is SO! UGH! UGH! ARIYA!!!!! DAIVARI!!! I LIKE HIM he is just. UNREAL how intense he is tonight. absolute delight to watch. really conveys that he hates grey's GUTS. a coward who acts like he's above ariya's methods only to use them when he can't beat ariya, and everyone celebrates him for it. ariya has worked himself to the bone for years and for a fraction of the respect and reputation grey's earned in less than a single year of it. ariya has a ROTTEN attitude and he hates grey with all his heart and it's very, VERY hard to say he's wrong. he's fighting with VENOM tonight! he is moving with a hatred that permeates every cell in his body and it's sooooooo good. i love watching him i LOVE him he is so smart and cool and epic

- MAN!!!!!!!!! tony tapped out last week quickly, and ariya gets caught in a submission and refuses. one thing about ariya is he refuses to stop fighting. when he gets in that ring he will do whatever he can to hold out as long as possible. you have to catch him by surprise, or you have to trap him, or you have to wear him out entirely. he...he fights for his pride. he's VERY proud. he occupies a space near the bottom of the cruiserweight hierarchy, and he's very aware of it. he doesn't have much. but he has his dignity. being deprived of that dignity is something he's just not willing to bear. it's the one thing that slips past his pragmaticism, i think, because though his passion gets the best of him sometimes he plans for his own survival at all times. his dignity is something he will hold on to even when holding onto it means his survival isn't guaranteed. i just think....i just think that ariya,

- also making a note, i guess: ariya's feud with akira (one of those feuds enhanced by the pull of the title but that lay in the character of akira first and foremost) pulled on a kind of similarity between them, where they both fight to win at all costs for the sake of their pride. (im not gonna say their honor. because like. well. you know -_-) akira had a support system that eventually convinced him to put his health first in the pursuit of the title, that convinced him to tap out rather than destroy his body for a chance at glory. that's kind of the dilemma of losing by submission, i guess. you give up, or you break. it's a really vulnerable position to be in, especially if you hold on to your pride like that. seeing akira admit to that vulnerability for his own sake was really satisfying! it was a FANTASTIC character arc, even if the way that the title was used during the end was *gritting teeth* bad. it's...its a really good way to pull a character apart and force them to grow or commit. it is THE story move. i think it's interesting that tony ended up tapping almost immediately last week. he's still a pretty arrogant character, he considers his job to be "making people jealous", he's gone through some development and he's not AS boldly disrespectful, but he's still very...haughty. he'll tap, though. he's not STUPID. in a low stakes match against some nobody he has no personal stake in, he'll tap if he can't get out. it's not that big a deal. it's not personal. for ariya, EVERYTHING is personal. tony has a kind of easygoing arrogance about him, but ariya has a RESENTMENT. that's kind of why they respond differently to these things. maybe. i'm just making things up who knows. anyway i think they should kiss to spice things up just for fun really i think 205 needs more gay people on it but all wrestling needs more gay people don't you think

[apsbicepstraining]

3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News

()

There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.

On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.

Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)

Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.

If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.

Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.

Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND

Lack of control

Poor stability

Misreading the item of the exercise

Lets tackle them in that order.

Control issues

Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.

Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.

But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.

RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating

You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.

He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND

Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.

If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.

For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.

Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.

Bad posture

Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND

Plank

Pushup

Loaded carry

Bear crawl

What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.

Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).

On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.

RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It

The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND

persisting your butt in the air

letting your stomach sag toward the floor

promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you

On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.

The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND

Bending to the side comprising the weight

Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side

Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out

You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.

A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.

Cognitive disappointment

Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.

I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.

But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.

To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.

RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen

If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.

Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.

But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.

A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)

How to do any employ better

The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?

If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.

2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?

This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.

3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?

This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?

Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.

Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .

This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .

The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rbud5u via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News

()

There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.

On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.

Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)

Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.

If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.

Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.

Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND

Lack of control

Poor stability

Misreading the item of the exercise

Lets tackle them in that order.

Control issues

Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.

Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.

But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.

RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating

You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.

He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND

Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.

If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.

For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.

Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.

Bad posture

Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND

Plank

Pushup

Loaded carry

Bear crawl

What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.

Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).

On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.

RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It

The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND

persisting your butt in the air

letting your stomach sag toward the floor

promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you

On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.

The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND

Bending to the side comprising the weight

Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side

Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out

You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.

A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.

Cognitive disappointment

Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.

I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.

But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.

To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.

RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen

If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.

Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.

But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.

A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)

How to do any employ better

The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?

If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.

2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?

This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.

3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?

This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?

Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.

Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .

This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .

The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rbud5u via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News

()

There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.

On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.

Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)

Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.

If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.

Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.

Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND

Lack of control

Poor stability

Misreading the item of the exercise

Lets tackle them in that order.

Control issues

Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.

Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.

But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.

RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating

You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.

He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND

Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.

If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.

For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.

Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.

Bad posture

Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND

Plank

Pushup

Loaded carry

Bear crawl

What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.

Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).

On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.

RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It

The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND

persisting your butt in the air

letting your stomach sag toward the floor

promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you

On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.

The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND

Bending to the side comprising the weight

Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side

Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out

You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.

A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.

Cognitive disappointment

Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.

I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.

But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.

To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.

RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen

If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.

Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.

But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.

A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)

How to do any employ better

The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?

If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.

2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?

This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.

3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?

This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?

Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.

Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .

This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .

The post 3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rbud5u via IFTTT