#the trouble with wooing immortals who have seen this shit before

[ibijau]

How to woo a Lan pt2 / On AO3

Jin Ling takes a walk with his dog, reminisces on the past, and gets a brilliant idea

It took Jin Ling the better part of two weeks to remember the idea he had nearly had that night, after he’d accidentally insulted Lan Sizhui. He’d just been so busy that entire time, with more problems arising from that haunting they’d dealt with (Jin Ling had to write to Wei Wuxian, who in turn sent word to the person who had initially reached out to them). Then there had been councils, and bills for a change, and some trouble with a disciple who’d tried to take advantage of his position to harass some girls in town, and just about a billion more things that had kept Jin Ling impossibly busy.

Even that particular afternoon when the idea returned to him, Jin Ling was supposed to be working. He was trying to see if there was any way to reorganise the way Lanling Jin was run so certain people who had profited a little too much from Jin Guangyao’s less savoury decisions would be pushed aside, and that meant gathering a lot of proof of their suspected corruption (bills, mostly. It always came back to bills. Jin Ling was in hell). Jin Ling was trying his best, and he’d been very serious all morning, but by lunch time he had a raging headache and decided he deserved at least a little bit of fun.

The most fun Jin Ling could think of having on a bad day was to spend time with Fairy, so he went to get her. The poor old girl barked happily at him when he came near her pen, and ran around him for a few minutes when he freed her. The man in charge of Lanling Jin’s spiritual dogs wanted to order her to stop and behave, but dared not to so when Jin Ling himself was delighted by his dog’s happiness. So what if Fairy wasn’t always as serious as expected? She was a good girl who had more than proven she knew how to behave when it was really important. Other people might say she was spoiled, but they said the same about Jin Ling anyway, so at least they were well matched.

When Fairy had calmed down, Jin Ling went out into the gardens with her, figuring they could both use the chance to stretch their legs. While walking, he gave her orders in and there, just so he could say he was training her, should anyone bother him. But in all honesty, he just wanted to relax a little and have fun with the one friend he had who didn’t care that he always said the wrong thing.

Although their walk didn’t have any particular aim, Jin Ling soon realised that they seemed to be heading toward the aviary. He hesitated for a moment, fearful Fairy might scare the birds, before deciding it would be excellent training. A good spiritual dog had to know how to ignore distractions… and Jin Ling liked the birds well enough, if only because he’d heard his father used to keep some, back in the days. Jin Zixuan, he’d heard some people whisper when they thought he couldn't hear, had been the sort of person more at ease with animals than people. Nobody would actually say it directly, but Jin Ling strongly suspected that he’d inherited his people’s skill from his father... though at least Jin Zixuan had been universally liked in spite of it, or so he'd been told. Jin Ling wasn't so lucky.

It was nice, in the aviary. A little noisy, sure, and the smell took some getting used to, but it was very quiet and there was rarely anyone there these days. Jin Guangyao hadn’t been very keen on animals, so he had kept only enough birds to show status, and the person in charge of those birds had other tasks to keep them busy, so the aviary was often empty of any humans. It had made it a good hiding place, when Jin Ling had been younger and slightly more temperamental than he currently was.

When Fairy started whining and growling at the birds, Jin Ling ordered her to stay put and continued walking alone among the cages.

He used to hide in that place a lot, back in the days. There were a few good spots, like between those two high cages… Jin Ling remembered getting in that little dark space when he wanted to avoid all adults, and sitting among the birds for a shichen or two until everybody was too worried over his disappearance to think of scolding him anymore. And he wasn’t the only one who had noticed what a good hiding place the aviary was, because one time…

Jin Ling gasped as the memory returned to him.

He’d been… ten, maybe eleven at most. Jin Ling couldn’t remember what trouble he’d caused that time, but Jin Guangyao had been particularly cross because they’d had guests, and Jin Ling had been his usual temperamental self, but in front of a whole bunch of sect leaders. Except Jin Ling hadn’t meant to cause a scene (he rarely did, even then) so he’d been upset at being scolded so harshly when he didn’t understand what the big deal had been… and he’d run away after shouting something awful about hating his uncle.

The aviary had been a good place to hide, as it so often was. Jin Ling had gotten into his nice little dark spot unseen, and prepared himself to wait however long it would take for everyone to calm down about what happened.

After a little while, two people had entered the aviary. Jin Ling hadn’t seen their faces right away, but cold sweat had run down his back when he’d recognised their voices.

“I really don’t think Jin Ling will have run here,” he’d heard Lan Xichen say in a very odd tone, quite different from the usual way he spoke.

“Really?” Nie Huaisang had replied, half laughing. “But I think it’s worth checking anyway, gege.”

Lan Xichen had laughed too. A real laugh, not just something polite.

It had been so odd to hear those two laugh, Jin Ling recalled. Back then, Lan Xichen had barely seemed like a real person to his childish mind. He was the mighty Zewu-Jun, practically an immortal already, aloof and always calm, and he didn’t just laugh like that. As for Nie Huaisang, he was always sad and pitiful, nothing at all like this laughing and teasing young man Jin Ling could hear but not quite see at that point.

Jin Ling had hesitated to leave his hiding spot to check if it really was them, or demons having taken their form… but if it was them he would have been punished, and if it was demons they’d have eaten him, so staying hidden had seemed more prudent.

He’d heard movement then, the rustling of fabric, and Lan Xichen gasping.

“Huaisang, not here,” Lan Xichen had said, trying and failing to sound scolding. “If someone were to come…”

“No one ever does,” Nie Huaisang had retorted. “I know, I used to come hide here when da-ge dragged me to conferences. It’s just us, gege, and I haven’t seen you in so long…”

“We’re meant to look for Jin Ling, A-Sang,” Lan Xichen had complained, sounding almost whiny.

Nie Huaisang had laughed again, and now he was coming into view for Jin Ling.

It might have been better to not see that, Jin Ling had thought at the time.

Because what he’d seen, then, was Nie Huaisang smiling widely, walking backward, pulling Lan Xichen by the collar. And Lan Xichen, who surely could have resisted if he hadn’t liked this, was following willingly, eagerly even, his eyes burning until he suddenly grabbed Nie Huaisang by the waist and he…

And they…

Jin Ling remembered crying out in surprise.

He hadn’t been used to adults kissing, or anyone at all really. His uncles had both taught him to be careful about showing affection, because of his status as sect heir, and they’d both made it clear to him that only married people should kiss.

Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang weren’t married, Jin Ling had known that. He hadn’t always paid enough attention to the lives of grown-ups around him, but Lan Xichen had been in Jinlin Tai all the time, and Jin Ling had heard both Jin Guangyao and Qin Su offer to help their friend find himself a suitable bride. They’d also offered the same to Nie Huaisang, and talked sometimes between them of how it might help lift the permanent gloominess of character that had taken over him since his brother’s death.

“Oh, shit,” he’d heard Nie Huaisang say, and somehow that had been the last drop for Jin Ling who had broken into tears.

It had taken Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang great effort to get him to calm down, and more still to convince him to get out of his hiding spot. But by that point they’d been back to their normal selves, Nie Huaisang a pitiful, panicky mess, Lan Xichen radiating calm to the point it became contagious.

“Jin Ling, will you do me a favour?” Lan Xichen had asked when the little boy had been standing in front of him. “What you saw just now… can you keep it a secret?”

Jin Ling had hesitated, still sniffling a little.

“It’s forbidden to do that,” Jin Ling had said, remembering his weird bastard uncle, the one they’d kicked out some years before. “Only married people can, and two boys won’t marry. Are you going to be punished if I tell on you?”

“Cut-sleeves aren’t allowed in Jinlin Tai?” Nie Huaisang had gasped, going from pitiful to angry until Lan Xichen motioned for him to calm down.

“There was an incident a while ago, that Mo Xuanyu boy,” Lan Xichen had explained to his friend, before looking back at Jin Ling. “But Mo Xuanyu wasn’t punished because he liked boys, it was for being forceful about it. You understand the difference, A-Ling, don’t you?” Jin Ling had nodded, more to please that kind man than out of real understanding. “You are a good boy. To answer your question… no, we wouldn’t be punished, not really. But it would make some people unhappy, and we need more time to prepare for that. You understand, right?”

“Like when I break something and I don’t want to admit it right away, but if I calm down then I can tell jiujiu or shushu?”

Lan Xichen had nodded, smiling so gently that Jin Ling had been a little flustered.

Come to think of it, he’d always been a little weak to that kind smile the reallygood Lan had. So weak that he had promised to keep Lan Xichen’s secret, and had done so for years now, never thinking much about it again, never catching any sign of these two being more than friends. Maybe it had just been a fling between them, and that was why they hadn’t wanted to go public about it.

Considering everything that had happened, Jin Ling hoped for them that it had never been serious.

Still, as he walked among birds and reminisced about that incident, Jin Ling finally remembered that idea he’d very nearly had two weeks before: if he wanted to seduce a Lan, he needed the help of someone who had done it before. This meant either Wei Wuxian, who was awful and unbearable and hadn’t realised Lan Wangji liked him until Jin Guangyao told him while holding him captive, or…

Or Nie Huaisang, who hadn’t seemed to be having any trouble figuring out on his own how to get a Lan to like him, judging by what had happened some years before.

With the beginning of a plan forming at last, Jin Ling returned to Fairy's side to give her all the petting she deserved. If his hunch was the right one, then he'd be even busier than before in the weeks to come, so better give his dog a lot of affection while he could.