#the tradie tf2

[magnetictapedatastorage]

im still obsessed with the idea of blu engineer having 20 trade certifications instead of 11 phds. he's got every sticker EVER on his hardhat he could disassemble your house like a termite in minutes if you pissed him off

[winknotable]

Saw some tradies wearing hardhats while walking on the train tracks and my heart skipped a beat. Anyway enjoy some quick engy sketches (:

[blubushie]

Disclaimer: none of this is to be taken seriously.

DNI IF YOU:

Are vegan (vegetarians are fine)

Are a cyclist (bikies, you're on thin fucking ice)

Don't like flanno

Are scared of snakes

Are scared of bugs

Unironically say "NAURRR" (Aussies are exempt)

Drive a manual (I'm jealous of you)

Scream when you're afraid or startled

Don't take your shoes off indoors (WTF is wrong with you?)

Have never loved the stars too fondly

Claim your favourite flower is roses

Like the colour pink

Don't wear a watch

Don't like vegemite (WTF is wrong with you? x2)

If you DO like vegemite, DNI if you eat it at level 6 or anything below 3

Eat vegemite plain off the spoon (WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? x3)

Call all cattle "cows"

Use chapstick (let your lips split like a real man)

Weren't sacrificed on the altar of Victoria Bitter

You drink Foster's

Call thongs "flip-flops" (wrong) or "jandals" (inhuman)

Are a ranga

Wear neon colours (hunting orange is fine, safety green is only permissible for tradies)

Like wearing shoes

Wear socks and ESPECIALLY if you sleep with socks on

Like maths (you're an alien)

Wash your face every morning

Don't know how to change a tyre

Think heat above 80F/25C is "unbearable"

Have never ridden a horse

Don't know the difference between revolvers and pistols

Have, at any point, unironically uttered the phrase "assault rifle"

Are from M*lbourne (Victorians, you're on thin fucking ice)

Are from New Zealand (Aotearoans, you're fine)

Are French/speak French (Africans, you're on thin fucking ice)

Are Canadian (exempt if you're the TikTok lumberjack lady)

Are French-Canadian (double-wrong)

Are English. The rest of the UK, you're on thin ice.

Are from a city with a population higher than 1mil. People from cities with populations of 30k to 999k are on thin fucking ice. People from cities/town/shires/villages with less than 30k I love you.

Think "bogan" is an insult

Don't shave with a knife (people who use straight razors, you're on thin fucking ice, people who don't shave at all I love you)

Have never been sunburnt (only for people who can get sunburnt)

Don't like camping

Own decorative towels and ESPECIALLY if you get mad at people for using them. It's a bloody towel and I'm using it for its intended purpose

Believe in astrology

Have a skincare routine and/or wear makeup

Drive a Toyota Prius

DON'T love thunderstorms

Were born after 2023

Think catching toads to get high is "animal abuse" (the toads are fine unless they're cane toads, fuck cane toads, all my mates hate cane toads)

You microwave water for any reason

Have never been to a B&S ball

Don't believe in aliens

Are taller than 158cm/5'2"

Take multivitamins (aka you are healthier than me)

Haven't read my fic (minors exempt, do not read it)

Don't like bush ballads or sea shanties. I'm going to show up at your house and aggressively sing Waltzing Matilda at 3am outside your bedroom window

Think the term "blackfella" is racist

Would give me up, tell a lie, and hurt me

Don't bless the rains down in Africa

You shave your eyebrows

And the only LEGITIMATE ONE on this list...

People who think/call Sniper TF2 a Kiwi. If you'd call Sniper (who left New Zealand as an infant and spent his whole life in Australia and didn't even know his Australian parents weren't his birth parents until he was 30) a Kiwi, then you would call me an American because I was born in America and moved to Australia when I was two. You need to re-evaluate how you see migrants, relationships to culture, and adoptees.

[chulyuchkinq6h346-blog]

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