#the title is almost an artifact title because i didn't realize how much he really had to hide but like also

[romance-rambles]

godheim alkaid | in which he has (almost) nothing to hide (anymore)

Years after you settle down near New Godheim, your sons take part in a scheme to distract their father before the big surprise party. Unfortunately, Alkaid is observant—and his sons take after him.

1.4k, post-canon, birthday surprises, really domestic stuff with slight angst, children of characters, reader is mc [mentioned only], series: an eventful first meeting

ALKAID IS TENDING TO HIS garden when the door to the quaint house he shares with his wife and three children creaks open.

Hushed whispers descend upon his blossoming garden, but he remains deliberately immersed in cooing over the flowers. His gloved fingers hover over, but never touch, the stems of the purple flower he once brought to life for his wife—back in the snow-buried Godheim he once called home.

Whatever silence his sons can scrounge up lasts only until someone starts shoving—from the yelping, he can guess it's Leo, the older of the two. They sort out the argument between them quickly, then wordlessly set out further into his garden.

And this is, apparently, how some siblings act, particularly if they're close in age. You've vouched for the statement with anecdotes of your school life, but even almost thirteen years later, he finds it hard to wrap his head around it.

He and Ehlonna were never so rough with each other—or at all. But then again, they could only ever dream of the only kind of childhood his sons know.

This is only another difference in a terribly long list, one he hopes will only grow longer.

"Hmm?" Alkaid pauses in his act, pretending to have only just noticed his sons' arrival. "Who is it?"

Silence greets him in return. He waits. A second becomes many, but they do not keep him waiting for long. Instead, they join him by the flowers, almost solemn in the way they gaze at his hard work.

And the way their eyebrows pinch together reminds him of you.

"And what brings the two of you here?" Resting his hands on his knees, he cranes his neck to greet them, one by one. A hint of amusement trickles into his tone. "Will you not be helping your mother this year?"

The two attempt to glance at each other. He leans back a little, disguising his short laugh as a polite cough. The remnants of a smile, however, linger long after his gloved hand retreats. Pressing the back of his bent fingers against his lips, he allows it to return to its former glory.

Behind his back, they converse wordlessly. He pretends he can't hear the rustling of their clothes as they gesture at each other.

"No," Leo huffs out. Forest green eyes narrow at him, carefully gauging his reaction. "There's no point in trying this year."

"Yeah," Sirius grumbles.

Unlike his brother, he's nearly the splitting image of his mother. The title is out of reach only because of the occasional reminders that Alkaid is his father—in the color of his eyes. In the thickness of his hair. In his love for gardening, and in his quiet perceptiveness, one that would leave him wise beyond his ears if he had been born into any other life.

"You always know what we're up to for your birthday."

Indeed, Alkaid thinks privately, settling down onto the ground, with his hands back on his knees. Without delay, his sons mimic him. Today is no different. But he'll pretend it is, though it remains to be seen if his youngest son will buy it.

"Oh," he utters instead. "You didn't get me a present?"

"Not a physical one," the blond says quickly. His words take on a biting quality at the end—the message is clear, both to his brother and to Alkaid, though it's aimed at only one of them. Say something. "We're going to do whatever you want to do, Father."

Turning his head to Leo, Alkaid pretends to think, "Well, I did plan on spending more time on the garden."

"Urk." His next words slip out through gritted teeth, not quite an affirmative, but neither is it a denial. The blond leans forward, unamused gaze pinned on his snickering brother. "Ahem, it's your birthday, Father. You should relax for the day. Somewhere far, far away from here."

"Your mother once did something similar," Alkaid says wistfully, obliviously. "How nostalgic."

In unison, with an ease that suggests much practice, the twins gag at his words. They cap it off with a bland, but insistent, "We know," having perhaps grown tired of hearing the same things over and over again.

"Have I mentioned it before?" he inquires innocently. He hasn't, by the way. Nor has he mentioned the ending, where you did manage to surprise him. Such a trick can only work so many times. "I must've forgotten."

"It's possible," Sirius agrees amiably, having recovered in remarkable time. His fingers lightly caress the soft petals of Alkaid's flowers. "It only shows how much you care about Mother. You make her tea whenever she wants and you've been growing these flowers because they remind you of her."

Less amiably, Leo grumbles, "And you've told us so many stories that we could recite them in our sleep. You and Mother both."

Alkaid smiles faintly. If that is the worst of his sins, of their sins, then surely, they're doing something right. That he has to listen to his children complain is a small price to pay.

"So, when are you going to give them to her?"

"I'm not sure," he admits.

It is the sense that he's being watched that spurs him to glance back at the kitchen window, but the curtain remains drawn, void of any silhouettes that would give the game away. He thinks of his wife, of the awkwardness that's settled into their home—a genuine mistake they don't feel equipped to fix, one that isn't even their own, not entirely.

But they should've expected it. They should've realized that people would carelessly bring Ehlonna up in front of the twins. They should've known better than to try and hide her sacrifice, her—

In that moment, the dark-haired boy nudges him, pulling his attention back onto the flowers. Carefully, a smile slots back into his pleasant expression. Alkaid unclenches his hand—and when had he done that?—and resolves to focus on the current matter at hand.

"Then, do the two of you have any ideas?"

"You'd know better," the younger blond mumbles, his spirits having noticeably dampened at the direction the conversation is taking. "You've known her for a long, long time. Longer than us, since before—"

As expected, Leo was—is—the bigger problem. And Alkaid understands it. He does. But he's allowed to hope that, one day, Leo will realize he has nothing to compensate for, even if he is a bit more withdrawn than his siblings.

A lot more withdrawn, actually.

Perhaps oblivious to the slight tension in the air, though that seems unlikely, Sirius interrupts him without a care. "Give them to her on her birthday!"

A sound option, but—

Alkaid glances at his oldest son. Lips jutting out into a pout, he glares at the unsuspecting flowers in front of him. Under the sun's warmth, his hair takes on a more golden hue, as if it was gold spun into delicate strands.

Brushing the boy's bangs out of his face, Alkaid asks, "And what about you?"

"Isn't it your birthday today?"

He holds his forehead and scowls. At his father's words? At his actions? The older blond remains uncertain. Scarlet blooms acroas the boy's cheeks, the color intensifying as his brother snickers.

Gently, Alkaid offers his younger son a rebuke.

"You're right. Why don't we change the subject then?" He chuckles, tapping his chin. A hint of amusement slips into his words; his next words come out almost song-like. "Now, what shall we talk about?"

"Anything else."

"From before you met Mother!"

As requested by his boys, the topic shifts. The garden soon forgotten, they talk about his childhood.

He talks about Zack, who he'd reunited with shortly after New Godheim had been established, who they knew as "Uncle Zack". He talks about Ehlonna, focusing on the happier memories—on stars, and how he thought she might appreciate the company.

He talks about the Archmage last, telling them close to everything but the period in between, where their relationship grew distant. Wording his sentences carefully, so that they won't look unkindly upon his mentor. Focusing on the happier bits, like the time he and Ehlonna threw him a surprise party, even though they—and the emperor, as well—knew nothing about the day of his birth.

And in the garden they remain, until the ringleader behind this surprise birthday operation comes to fetch them herself, when Alkaid utilizes his best acting skills to be nothing less than thoroughly caught off-guard.

They don't really believe him, but that's okay.

There's always next year.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - The Shorts!

Finally, I decided to talk about these.

PPG 2016 isn't the only reboot to have net-exclusive shorts, as Disney's YouTube channel had several DuckTales shorts across its first season.

Welcome to Duckberg!

A few months before the premiere of DuckTales 2017, Disney released these shorts to introduce everyone to the citizens of Duckberg. Namely, it focuses on the inhabits of the McDuck Manor. Most of these are just one joke premises, which is fitting because they aren't even a minute long.

For example, here's one where Webby is sneaking around in a dark place, aiming for some sort of ancient artifact with her various gadgets. This was online before the very first episode, so this is actually our first look at the new Webby. No longer is she just the "little girl" of the group; she seems to be a spy in training with her night vision goggles, her glowstick, and her grappling hook!

This ancient artifact turns out to be a cookie jar, and the only cookie left is one of the common yuck cookies: oatmeal raisin. Hey, I'd eat it. Dewey shows up specifically to tell Webby that he's eating the last chocolate chip. That's kind of mean.

Then this happens. Yeah, that doesn't look like anger, it looks more like demonic possession. There's a similar short with the new Mrs. Beakley, where she easily takes care of a ghost that the boys were struggling with. It makes sense, as these characters have huge changes from the classic DuckTales. They might as well show them off.

There's a Huey short, featuring a character that looks a lot like the Tenderfeet. Thankfully, he doesn't talk or do any "devil in plain sight" gags, he's just here to show off that Huey is the one that reads that Junior Woodchuck Guidebook the most. Definitely his best performance, but that isn't saying a lot.

There's no real Dewey-focused short beyond his appearance in the Webby short. There is kind of a Louie short, involving a "time machine" that, oddly enough, works exactly like the time machine in that one episode of the other reboot. Thankfully, this reboot only made it a minute long short, and it works okay.

The biggest highlight is this short with Launchpad McQuack, and it's completely fitting of his character. I don't even want to talk about it; it would ruin the magic of watching the actual short.

There's also one for Donald Duck's years-not-shown birthday, which oddly wasn't included in the compilation. This is a shame, because it's a decent joke. Again, it's just the one, and it's not as good as the Launchpad one. Then again, very few things are.

The next series of shorts is a lot more interesting, as they all fit together into one short, released in minute-long chunks throughout a month. Fittingly enough, it happens to be called...

The World’s Longest Deathtrap!

The episode begins with Webby landing in the titular deathtrap, with Dewey. I guess they felt sorry that he didn't get a short of his own, since we get a lot more Dewey here.

Unfortunately, due to Dewey not being too bright, he presses a button that causes the deathtrap to activate, causing the walls to very slowly close in on them. Webby theorizes that this deathtrap has aged very poorly over the centuries it existed.

When I saw these pop up on YouTube, I was thinking this was just a joke video with nothing really happening. This couldn't be further from the truth. One part is pretty much entirely "Launchpad doesn't know how to rescue people from a hole", and it's absolutely hilarious.

Eventually, everyone except for Scrooge, who is absent entirely from these series of shorts, ends up in the deathtrap. They keep unintentionally activating even more traps, before Huey drops in and tries to use his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to help out. In a way, it worked. How? Watch to find out.

I would not be surprised if this short started out as either a scene in an episode or a whole episode in itself, but they either felt it was too throwaway, or that they ran out of ideas. It's a good watch.

Dewey Dew-Night!

Aw, yeah. The talk show introduced in Day of the Only Child gets its first big expansion here. The main plot is that Dewey wants his talk show to become popular on the internet, so he tries his best to get the best guests, the best sketches, and the best Dewey he can muster to get those sweet sweet thumbs ups. It's just as funny as it was in Day of the Only Child, though I do wish those cardboard cutouts returned.

The first short focuses on Webby. It's sort of funny in that everything is just awkward, as if he's making this all up as he goes along. Fitting!

They're still trying to make Manny the Headless Horse a thing. Maybe there's some people who really like him, but I found him more of an "eh" character. Dewey doesn't seem to like him either; his original guest was supposed to be Scrooge McDuck. Unfortunately, he decided Dewey Dew-Night was well below him, much to Dewey's derision. Whether it was unfortunate for Dewey or Scrooge is pretty obvious.

He even tries to do segments, like "Will It Crash?", an parody of "Will It Blend?" Dewey apparently never realized that ship has sailed almost a decade ago, even if Launchpad is the highlight of all of these shorts. That is an accomplishment, actually, this series and the deathtrap one could work as B-plots.

Unfortunately, none of this seems to get him the audience he so desperately craves. He even keeps pointing towards his likes and dislikes, which eventually skews slightly towards the latter. He seems to blame his audience for this, but he understands. He decides to try to go on a unicycle and jump over a cat. A real cat, by the way; I can’t help but notice when they use non-anthropomorphic animals.

Unfortunately, any attempt to actually finish this stunt was ruined because the rest of the boys were tired. There is a hidden joke here, where Dewey thinks that because it's a late night talk show, it's supposed to be filmed at night, too. If only he knew.

Oh, and there's this really good running gag with Glomgold throughout this entire series of shorts.

Dewey: Apologies to Flintheart Glomgold, who had to be bumped.

Glomgold: (off-screen) WHAT?!

I like how it is implied that Glomgold successfully infiltrated the McDuck Mansion, but just can't wait to be on this completely legitimate talk show. Best of all, it has an actual payoff. All in all, a great way to use the format.

There are a few other shorts, but there's not much to say about them. There's Webby Reacts, a series where Webby Vanderquack does an in-character reaction to various Disney Channel programs. It did remind me of the very short lived revival of Beavis and Butt-Head, where they had segments where they talked over MTV's other programming.

The other is DuckFAILS, which is just the nephews, the honorary niece, and Launchpad failing to do things in glorious stop motion. I guess Scrooge McDuck had a "no failing" clause. I can't insult the amount of time it would take to make these, and this seems like something that would be fun to see between shows.

I'm sad that they didn't do anything like this to tide us over during this current hiatus...but I guess that's what I'm doing, at least.

← What Ever Happened To Della Duck?! 🦆 Treasure of the Found Lamp! →

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Spear of Selene!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Madison Bateman

Directed by: Dana Terrace

Storyboard by: Emmy Cicirega, Ben Holm, Jason Reicher

Mythical!

The episode starts with Dewey and Webby intentionally trying to cause the Sun Chaser to crash. Okay, there's a little more to it than that, but that what is essentially happening. Judging by the faces, it appears to be Webby's idea.

They'll have to make an emergency "landing", this is Launchpad McQuack, after all, on an island. Checking his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, Huey realizes that they are landing on uncharted territory which Scrooge happens to know about: the mythical land of Ithaquack. How Dewey or Webby knew about this place's whereabouts is unknown. A really good hunch, perhaps?

They do know one thing: it's a good place to start looking for clues about Dewey's long lost mother, Della. This is due to a note first seen in The Great Dime Chase. It’s a note that directly ties into the fate of Della, one of the two biggest mysteries of Clan McDuck. According to the note, Della took the Spear of Selene, and since Selene is a Greek goddess, where else to look but a Greek island? I almost forgot about this, I should have been more hyped about the title.

Their plan is to find the Spear of Selene. They sure are making a lot of assumptions about it. Namely, they assume they can find the Spear of Selene again, as if Della took the Spear of Selene to put it back where it came from. Assumptions will play a significant role in this episode, as we will learn later.

The rest of the nephews are just as excited to explore this new island, though Scrooge and Donald aren't. We get to see Donald's reason just minutes after, as he gets smothered by someone who considers him one of his old friends: the legendary Greek hero Storkules! It's the usual "big muscles, little brain" cliche. We get a shot of Donald Duck being stuck between his pecs.

Storkules also sees his "kin", and despite apparently just meeting them, he happens to know they're his nephews without being told they are. This one-sided reunion is interrupted by his father, Scrooge's reason for not wanting to go here.

It's a duck version of Zeus, proof that great power doesn't necessarily come with great responsibility. In this cartoon, in the original Greek myths, and certainly not the incarnation in Disney's own version of those Greek myths. He also happens to be named Zeus; unlike Ithaca and Hercules, the Gods don’t really care about having duck pun names, I guess.

Huey's first reaction, outside of ecstatic that all myths are real, is to step on Zeus's foot to see if Greek Gods can feel pain. Yeah, Huey may be the smart one, but he should count his blessings that Zeus has bigger ducks to fry. Namely, a certain super rich duck.

We get some backstory via Greek jars: Zeus, King of the Gods, also sees himself as the God of Hospitality, and the King of the Beach. This all changed when Scrooge McDuck showed up and really, and even made better sand castles while continuing to find even more treaure just under them. Isn't that more of a Gladstone Gander thing than a Scrooge thing? Zeus ended up losing his popularity, though a hissy-fit-caused lightning storm probably did not help.

This scene establishes that Zeus happens to be a sore loser, though he gets his chance to make it up. Storkules tells his father that he should prepare a party for their new, courtesy of his father, the God of Hospitality himself. With his almighty power, power greater than all of the Gods of Olympus combined, the King of the Beach pulls out...

...a cooler, some grapes, a pegasus playing harp music, and some chips and dip. Scrooge says that the dip too salty, and he is immediately called out by Zeus for disparaging Olympus!

He challenges Scrooge and the rest of the nephews that aren't in the A-Plot to a series of heroic trials. Heroic trials that are in no way a way for Zeus to get back at Scrooge for lowering. Storkules is pretty excited to see how these adventurers are going to tackle them, but Scrooge and Donald are slowly trying to back away from this.

Unfortunately for them, a lightning dome, courtesy of Zeus, blocks them from escaping. The nephews and Donald will have to compete whether they like it or not, and they sure show the contrast right before the commercial break:

Huey and Louie: Woo-hoo!

Donald and Scrooge: Oh, phooey.

Cannot help but notice that Huey and Louie's new distinct personalities aren't being used to put them into different roles this time. While we get hints of this, with Huey pulling out the Junior Woodchuck Book, and Louie relaxing with his grapes. It's better than making one of them just not appear for no reason.

While the adults and the rest of the kids have to deal with what is essentially Zeus's temper tantrum, Dewey and Webby have to go through heroic trials of their own. One of the main problems that comes up is their wildly different interpretations. Dewey does not want to think of his Mom as a stealer of artifacts and betrayer of the McDucks, while Webby keeps implying that to his chagrin.

This escalates further and further as their search for the Spear of Selene, or where it was, continues, as they keep finding artifacts that are not what they are looking for. They go through a trap filled room only to find the Sword of Selene, and they have to fight a monster until the monster tells them they won't get the Spear of Poseidon. After telling him that's not what they're looking for, the monster puts them down and gives them directions, even waving goodbye at them once they leave. It seems like a gag from The Powerpuff Girls. The real one.

Of course, Dewey isn’t alone, as we get some hints from someone who probably experienced what happened to Della firsthand. While Storkules is talking about his friendship, he brings up Donald's "fiery sister"...and wonders where she is. All Donald can do is look at his nephews, and solemnly tell Storkules that he does not adventure anymore. He gives one extra detail in a later scene.

Donald Duck: I don’t adventure anymore, someone always gets hurt.

Storkules: And what would your fiery sister say...

Donald Duck: Because she can’t...someone always gets hurt.

Really cuts deep, even in his trademark voice. I've noticed that I just accept it now.

To prove even further how much he does not want to go back to his adventuring days, even under the literal thunder dome, he does not even try to win in these heroic trials. Unfortunately, a combination of his bad luck and Storkules' lack of anything that isn't muscles to make him fail at failing. Despite winning, Zeus keeps the trials going, as he really does not want to admit failure.

This turns into a montage of sorts. There's a race to a bag full of wind, a discus throw, a chariot race, and even a sculpting competition! In each event, Donald tries his best to keep himself from winning, only for either the nephews to win, or for Storkules to do something not too smart.

Then again, it is possible that Storkules is intentionally losing, considering this, I do not know if I should say "flattering", portrayal of his opponent. Zeus still did not consider this a winner, and considers a "final challenge."

Said final challenge is to steal the golden fleece from a small child. This child would turn out to be a siren, which hypnotizes Storkules to strangle the nephews. The siren's song doesn't hypnotize the nephews because...I do not know. Targeted singing, perhaps?

Thanks to the rather friendly monster, they end up at a scale model of the mountain they were climbing to get to the temple, which leads to a circular tomb that may have the spear. Suddenly, some ancient Greek writing appears on top of said tomb, and Dewey asks Webby, knower of all languages in this series, if it says that Della died a hero. He'd rather imagine his mother is dead than to consider that she didn't have the absolute best of intentions. Again, pretty deep.

The tomb then starts to close really, really slowly. Those ancient tomb makers really have a thing for those. They can’t be bothered to make it just shut, they have to have some sort of mechanism that makes it really easy for intruders to get out of their traps. There is an explanation later on.

Dewey eventually starts to block Webby, as the conflict between them gets violent. He get an dramatic scene here where Dewey has to wrestle Webby down, as if, deep down, he knows he's not going to like what's in that tomb. He even throws Webby down the mountain at one point. There's a little humor sprinkled here and there, mostly regarding a chimera statuette, but not enough to ruin the scene. Eventually, Dewey curls up, sad, and Webby just decides to stop.

Webby: I guess there’s some mysteries that don’t need to be solved.

Dewey immediately changes his mind at the last second at that, almost as if he knew he was violating his show’s own theme song. Well, it was might solve a mystery, but still. He grabs Webby, and does under the door at the last minute...only to find a stranger telling them "gotcha."

It turns out, it's a Greek goddess who doesn't use a duck pun for her name: Selene! She's slightly disappointed until she recognizes how Dewey looks just like Della. While the answers are still out there, it is a sastisfying scene for those who want to know a little more about Della. The most I will say is that this mystery goes far deeper that a stolen artifact. They have to keep this mystery going; we got two seasons of this show.

The Zeus plot also wraps up pretty well, with Scrooge possibly getting some inspiration to almost end this conflict. I say almost because something from the other plot interferes in a way I won't spoil. The episode has many bookends: it ends with a Launchpad joke, a storm, and the same amount of progress in trying to find Dewey's mother.

How does it stack up?

Disappointments when it comes to closure are to be expected when it comes to mid-season episodes, but it does end with a shocking twist. This episode has it all: good comedy, good characters of the week, some dramatic moments, and a good twist. Highly recommended.

Next, the other major cliffhanger from The Great Dime Chase gets resolved! Unfortunately, I will have to take a week off due to birthday plans. I do not have anything set in stone on whether or not I'll repeat the same thing I did the last time I missed a PPG 2016 review.

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