#the thing i love about when Ash decides he's gonna go engage with Luke is how he walks 🚶🏼 with 🚶🏼 such 🚶🏼 purpose 🚶🏼

[kindahoping4forever]

Lashton @ The 5SOS Show Tour Lisbon - 23 September 2023

[love-bokumono-fics]

WIP Wednesday

With no game feature this week, let's look at some of the recent WIPs that haven't gotten a chance to be featured yet on the blog. These are the works that haven't been updated since I started the blog, so they haven't been included in the weekly Fresh Crops, or haven't been included in other feature posts yet.

Here's hoping you find a great new story to keep up with and await updates with bated breath!

(Have a WIP fic of your own that you'd like featured? Drop a link in the submission box! We'd love to see them!)

Edmond Route - by Mysterious_Prologue_Guy; WIP, 37/?, 54k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Light of Hope, Skytree Village

Relationship: Edmond/Light the farmer; Characters: Edmond, Farmer, Gareth, Tabitha, Harvest Goddess

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon a Light of Hope, Harvest Moon, Harvest moon Skytree Village

Summary: Contains spoilers. Meeting of Edmond and heart events.

Barriers - by krose13; WIP, 21/?, 148k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, Harvest Moon DS Cute

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran/Cliff; Characters: Claire, Gray, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Cliff, Kai, Karen, Popuri, Mary the Librarian, Rick, Basically the whole Mineral Town cast, plus Forget-Me-Not Valley

Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Complicated Relationships, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Not for the kiddos, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Unplanned Pregnancy, trying to fit a realistic pregnancy in hm time is a challenge but we doin it, POV First Person, Mutual Pining, Drug Use, Dreams and Nightmares, Drowning, I’ll probably have to add more tags as we go along but

Summary: Unlike everyone else in town, Gray wants nothing to do with the new farmer. He can't stand Claire, despite all her attempts to befriend him. But when one small mistake leads to an even bigger problem, he might be seeing a lot more of her than they both had planned.

Watered-Down Ideals - by LemWrites; WIP, 4/?, 4k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Farmer/Ludus; Characters: Original Male Character, Frank, Megan, Hector, Colin, Noel | Noelle

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, ADHD, I gave a farmer adhd and anxiety, this may have more projection then intended

Summary: Join Steve, the newly appointed farmer in the Trio of Towns world, on a journey full of; useless gay pinning, being a disaster, self hatred and more!

The Language of Flowers - by spoopybat; WIP, 68/?, 158k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: The Tale of Two Towns

Relationships: Cam | Kamil/Lillian the Farmer | Sato, Chelsea/Vaughn | Waltz; Characters: Lillian the Farmer | Sato, Cam | Kamil, Ash, Laney | Lia, Georgia | Raspberry, Chelsea, Vaughn | Waltz

Additional Tags: Tags Contain Spoilers, POV Alternating, Background Relationships, Starting Over, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Minor Character Death, Background Character Death, Minor Violence, Minor Injuries, Physical Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Socially Awkward Characters, Cliche, Mutual Pining, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Emotional Baggage, References to Depression, Dorks in Love, Dysfunctional Family, Melodrama, Family Drama, First Love, First Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Making Out, Loss of Virginity, First Time, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Christmas, Domestic Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Morning Sickness, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Constipation, Arguing, Medical Conditions, Medical inaccuracies but I'm gonna do my best, Panic Attacks, Engagement, Wedding Planning, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Honeymoon, Body Worship, Making Love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mental Anguish, Spa Treatments, Fights, Making Up, Mental Health Issues, Depression, Language of Flowers, Emotional reunion [Some tags removed to keep post sfw]

Summary: Lillian, a young woman from the Sunshine Islands, left her home and moved to Bluebell. In hopes that moving to this rural farm town to escape her troubled past and find the happy life she had always wanted.

Finding You - by HarukazeRen; WIP, 4/?, 3k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Harvest Moon 64

Relationship: Karen/Pete | Jack; Characters: Karen, Pete | Jack

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon 64, Tsundere Karen, Flashbacks, Slow Romance, Handsome Pete, Karen's hearts event, Some of Gray/Popuri and Ann/Cliff

Summary: Whenever he meets her, some memories of his childhood flash in his mind. A little girl who was playing with him and made his heart skipped a beat. He tries to trace the shadow of her because he wants to make sure, why does he keep thinking of her.

Earth and Rebirth - by TheBeckster; WIP, 17/?, 66k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: Multi, Gen

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Characters: Holly, Frank, Marlena, Wayne, Ford, Lisette, Brad, Carrie, everyone

Additional Tags: Undecided Relationship(s), Additional Tags to Be Added, lots of headcanons, Minor Character Death, Eventual Friends to Lovers, I'm not going to tag every single character, but they will all have a part in the story, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, New friends and found family, world building, Angst with a Happy Ending, Holly is an extrovert, endgame ship tbd, Cover Art

Summary: Holly considered herself fortunate to be living about as close to the dream as any young twenty-something could. A great family, a loving husband, and well, she'd admit their apartment was awful, but they'd be moving onto bigger and better things soon enough. She truthfully couldn't wish for more. But when an accident rips it all away from her, Holly finds herself seeking a change of scenery. Her Uncle's farm out in the middle of nowhere is the perfect place for her to hide to mourn. A familiar story with a twist or two.

Fire and Dew - by Juliko; WIP, 9/26, 73k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationship: Yuzuki/Original Character; Characters: Original Female Character(s) of Color, Original Characters, Yuzuki, Sumomo, Lisette, Colin, Wayne, Brad, Carrie, Shizu, Yaichi, Tatsumi, Omiyo, Umekichi, Lynn, Marlena, Daryl | Darius, Ittetsu, Moriya

Additional Tags: Harvest Moon, story of seasons, farming, Slice of Life, Drama, Family Drama, Family Issues, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Original Character(s), Major Original Character(s), Female Character of Color, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Past Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Humor, Eventual Happy Ending, Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Adoption, Sick Character, Lulukoko characters won't appear in this fic, Falling In Love, Dorks, Ableism, Happy Ending, Romantic Fluff, Break Up, Past Relationship, Cows, Chickens, Sheep, Rabbits, Flowers, Stimming, Family Fluff, Bisexual Female Character, Pansexual Character, Lesbian Character, Children, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma

Summary: For as long as she could remember, Harper Leigh Maxwell's dream has always been to become a farmer, but her father's job makes it hard to do so, since it involves lots of moving. After graduating from college, she finally decides to take a chance and get her own farm. She's determined to make the most of this opportunity and do what she's wanted. In the process, she makes new friends, learns many new things, and faces many hardships. One of the friends she makes is Yuzuki Fujiwara, a mellow, sweet natured man from the town of Tsuyukusa who doesn't have the best constitution. The two of them form a strong connection that may even end up blossoming into love. But Harper's past might make things complicated, and when it threatens to catch up with her, she may find herself facing the demons from her pre-adoption early childhood. This is the story of two different people, with different interests, passions, and paths in life, walking the same dirt road every day...

Finding the Way Forward - by AccidentallyTheWholeFanfic; WIP, 5/?, 35k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Story of Seasons (2014)

Relationship: Johnny/Fritz; Characters: Johnny, Fritz, Elise, Oak Tree Town, OCs

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life, Friendship, Family, Heavy Subject Matter, Humor, If Reina Pops Up Here I Will Refuse to Refer to Her as Licorice

Summary: Three youths move to Oak Tree Town on the verge of adulthood - each one an outsider in their own way, setting out on their own paths in life under their own circumstances. When those paths begin to cross over and influence each other, they all find that they might have some growing up to do if they want to find their way forward in life. Slash, M later. Heavy themes present.

Bring On The Wonder - by UrzaHemlock; WIP, 1/?, 2k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Animal Parade, Tree of Tranquility

Relationships: Molly | Hikari/Toby | Tao, Candace | Kotomi/Luke the Carpenter; Characters: Toby | Tao, Luke the Carpenter, Candace, Harvest Goddess, Finn, Molly/Hikari is Corina

Additional Tags: Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Original Character(s), Family Issues, Plot of the game but with fleshed out magic and trials, Mostly Animal Parade but with some elements from Tree of Tranquility mixed in, more tags to come, Possible change to Mature down the road

Summary: When Corina agreed to help Finn the harvest sprite save the Goddess Tree, it seemed the perfect chance to start over. After all, how hard could ringing some bells be? But magic isn't that simple, and Corina quickly discovers that there is more to being a savior. She'll have to throw all of herself into saving Castanet, body, mind, and even soul. She'll have to endure physical trials and emotional turmoil and even confront the things she wants to run from... ...but with the help of some new friends and a rather sleepy fisherman, she might just pull through.

Trial & Error - by KuramaBabe; WIP, 3/?, 3k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/F

Fandoms: Back To Nature, Save the Homeland, Magical Melody

Relationships: Gwen/Original Female Character, Gray & Original Female Character, Popuri & Original Female Character, Karen & Original Female Character, Cliff & Original Female Character, Ray & Original Female Character; Characters: Karen, Gray, Cliff, Popuri, Saibara, Harvest Goddess, Harvest Goddess Mariel, Gwen, Joe, Ray, Mary the Librarian, Original Female Character(s), Dog, Original Child Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexuality, High School, Graduation, Party, Family Issues, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Families of Choice, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Name Changes, Dead name, Makeover, Hair, Injury, Slow To Update, Strangers to Lovers, Starting Over, Road Trips, a capella, Fishing, failure - Freeform, Homophobia, Lesbian Character, My First Work in This Fandom, Coming Out, Cynophobia, Minor Karen/Rick, Minor Gray/Mary | Marie, Abuse

Summary: Maribelle has known for a long time she's different. But when she finally comes to accept it, her home life turns into something ugly. With the help of a friend, she changes her identity and moves to Sugar Valley. However, she has no idea she's moving into a construction zone and most of the inhabitants have already left...

[cthomashoodstory]

Best Years but Not in the Same Way (19)

Calum Hood x Reader

Previous Part

I’m sorry english isn’t my native. And also i got pictures from google and if one of it is yours and you want to take it down pls let me know. I’m so nervous to write this part sjsjsj i hope someone is reading. And btw if you found this post for the first time, i suggest you to read the entire parts i gave the link below! And so sorry if u get bored :(

Masterlist

-

”It’s literally 8 A.M in the morning, you better be have a good thing to showed me or i will hate you.” Calum called you in the morning saying that he had something to showed you and you have to come and now here you are. “What?” You asked him when you were in his room.

Then he pulled out a very cute floral dress. “I bought this for you last month for Ash birthday party today. I don’t know if you like this or not, but here it is. I hope you like it. And also the heels, i love it so i bought it to you.” He gave it the dress and heels and now you were just speechless because this dress is hella cute and expensive.

“I forgot it’s Ashton birthday...,” you paused. “Do you have something to be give to him?” He shooked his head. “Let’s get out then?” He nodded an you two headed out.

After 5 hours went out to store by store and had lunch, you and Calum finally arrived at home at 2 P.M.. You bought a Leather Lace-up Ankle boots for Ashton as present because he said he love wearing boots and he kinda collecting it right now so it might be a good gift for him. And Calum bought an electric guitar for him.

“Hey i think I’m gonna get ready, since i took an hour to do make up so... bye.” You waved at him and ran to his bedroom to get ready.

An hour later, you our from his room and you saw him stood waiting for you. “You were ready? Since when? Damn you look so hot!” You said it out loud and he blushed.

“Since 30 minutes ago i think? And you look so beautiful.” He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “I think we should stay at home rather than go to Ash’s party.” He gave you a serious face.

“Why?” Suddenly you felt so disappointed because you just prepared for an hour, you got a very beautiful mini dress from him and now he wants to canceled it?

He laughed. “I don’t want any men to steal you away from me. I mean look at you right now.” He teased you and put his hand on your waist. You were inch away from his face and now you wanted to to something but you afraid. You were still afraid until today.

“Should we go?” You asked him and he nodded while pulled his hand away.

You went out and he drove fast. You didn’t interact with him on the car. It was just too awkward for you both.

An hour later you and him arrived at Ashton’s place. It was just 4 P.M and his house already crowded. You held your present for him and Calum also did the same. You and him went in and looking for Ashton. You finally met him. He was stood at the corner with Luke and Michael and Mitchy Collins.

“Aye my favorite couple.” He hugged Calum first and then Calum gave the present. And then you hugged him. “Awh thank you so much, Cal and Bar. Enjoy the party.” You walked away from them and joined Kaitlin, Crystal and Sierra on the counter.

“Oh my God, look at your dress, you really stealing the spotlight!” Crystal complimented your dress. “I knew it Calum has a taste.”

You frowned. “Oh Calum showed us the dress after he bought it last month. Oh virtually of course. Don’t worry he didn’t cheat with us. His heart is belong to you.” Sierra explained and you smiled while rolling your eyes.

“So how’s the progress with you and Calum? Are you guys kissed already?” Kaitlin asked you excitedly. You knew she’s a bit drunk since she held the red glass.

You shook your head and nodded at the same time. “We are not dating, we’re still friends but we ever kissed and thats it. No more further explanation.” You grinned and poured beer to your glass.

After hours you’ve been mingled with everyone, you decided to go to the bathroom to freshing up. While on the way you pulled out your phone from your sling purse and you shocked you got 20 missed calls from Mike and you got so much message from him, your mom, Julia, Tranter and other friends. But one notification that caught your eyes was a missed call from Justin at 3 P.M.. What the hell is going on? You could feel your face is pale and you panicked and ran fast to the bathroom. You locked the door and sit on toilet. You called Mike Immediately and you scared to death. Your mind flashback to when he called you 30 times because he worried when Justin and Selena got back.

“Saara Palvin are you okay? Why you didn’t pick my call?” He sounded so worried, exactly like 3 years ago.

“My phone went silent and I’m fine I’m at Ashton’s birthday party. What happened? Nevermind i will find it by myself and i promise you i will be fine, i won’t hurting myself ever again. Okay? Bye.” You hung up the call and searching on Safari about Justin Bieber. That’s really what you searched because deep down in your heart you knew if Mike, Julia and Tranter texted or called you at the same time, it really had something to do with Justin. And coincidentally Justin did called you and it really ruined your mind. The search came up and you saw a news about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin engaged at Bahamas today. Wait what? Engaged? Justin is engaged? With Hailey? You read the headline again and locked your phone. You don’t care. You don’t care at all. He could do anything he wanted.

Then the bathroom door is knocked. “Saara? Are you okay? It’s me Kaykay. I saw you running to the bathroom worriedly. Are you okay?” She asked yo politely and you unlocked the door so she could come in. “Hey girl, what’s wrong?” She wiped out the tears that feel down to your face. You really managed to not cry in front of her but you failed.

You tried to breath slowly. “I think I’m going home now. I’m not feeling good right now. Justin is engaged with his girlfriend.” You finally confessed to her and she hugged you. “I don’t want people to know about it. What is my excuse then?”

She pulled the hug. “Just said that your mom needs you right know and they would understand. Calum would understand. You had to lie to them for your own sake. You need to rest, Miss B. And when you talked to them just thinking about a funny moments so that you wont cry.” You nodded and put the lipstick on your lips and out from the bathroom. You were separated from Kaitlin and walked towards the boys who sat down on the chairs laughing together.

“Hi guys i think I’m going out now, my mom is need my help right now and i will go to her place now. Bye guys, once again happy birthday Ashy.” You hugged Ashton, then Luke and Michael.

“Let me drive you there, Bar.” He held your arm but you brushed it off.

You looked at him. “No, you need to be here for Ashton. I will be fine okay? Have fun baby.” You kissed his cheek and left him as fast as you could because you were about to cry if you still there with him. You ordered Uber and headed home.

You finally at your bedroom and lean on the wall. You cannot cry because what’s the point of it? He has a good life and so are you. You are happy with your life, you surrounded by a very good people, the best friends who always support you, you’re happy.

You changed your clothes into pajamas and you sat on your living room. And you saw Calum texted you.

You felt bad for lying to him but this was the only thing you could do. He might get hurt if he knew the real answer. You really try hard to move on from Justin. It was harder than you thought. The past still haunts you until today. The memories still haunts you.

You turned on the tv and watch a random show but you didn’t really paid attention to it. Your mind kept thinking about Justin over and over. and you decided to keep your mind busy thinking about other by watching a criminal tv show.

It surprisingly distracted you for hours until you heard a message notification.

Ah these big mouth guys. Why in the hell they told Calum about it? So that why he asked you if you okay twice. He probably hated you right now. You couldn’t do anything but sighed. Calum must be hurted right now. Why all of this happened?

Then you heard your door being unlocked and you saw Calum walked in with flowers on his left hand and a totebag on his right hand. Wait what was he doing here?

“Cal?” You were so shocked when he showed up. He smiled to you and you knew he was hurted judging by his expression.

“Hi Bar,” he greeted you and handed you the flowers. “I just want to be here with you to cheer you up.” He signaled you to sat on the couch with him. And then you sat with him and put the flowers on your lap. “I bought you chocolates, lots of chocolate,” he pulled it out one by one. “Then a red lipstick because i know you love to wear it, and a tiny teddy bear. I honestly suck at this so thats the only thing i bought for you.”

You smiled to him and hold his hand. “Thank you, Cali. You really cheered me up.” “And i want to-“

But he cut your talk. “I know what happened, Ashton told me.” He held your hand tight. “I want you to be honest with me, i was so confused when you said you didn’t want me to drove you. I thought i made a mistake.”

You sighed. “Im sorry i didn’t want to hurt you, i didn’t want you to know that I’m hurt, I’m messed on the inside. I didn’t want you to hate me just because I’m still trying to find my way out from my past. I hate myself for keep hurting you until today.”

“Hey hey please don’t cry.” He hugged you and you cried on his chest. “I know moving on is the hardest thing to do, but i know you can do it. I trust the process, Bar. I trust us.”

You pulled the hug. “You can always find and fall in love with another brain, another soul, rather than stay and wait for me to heal the feeling.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I love you and i only want you in my life. I will always love you no matter how hard this situation is. I will wait for you.”

-

To be continued.

Next Part

[philthepegacornfics]

Stained Hearts

Michael Clifford x Reader

Summary: What happens when Michael tells his FWB he loves her?

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, implied sex, mentions of past abuse, angst

Word Count: 6k

A/N: @galcalirwin​ and I wrote this together! What inspired it was a conversation we had about the songs “i love you” by Billie Eilish and “Why Won’t You Love Me?” by 5 Seconds of Summer.

~Michael’s POV~

“Fuck!” I giggled, rolling onto my back, tucking my arms under my head.

“That good, huh?” she giggled with me, snuggling into my side.

“Always,” I murmured, moving my hand to run my fingers through her hair. “Gonna miss you when I’m gone.”

“You fuckin’ better.”

“I always do, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at that. Pretty good fuck, too,” she winked before kissing at my jawline.

I laughed loudly, hooking my fingers under her chin and bringing her up for a proper kiss.  “Fuck, I love you,” I breathed, before going in for another kiss.

She pushed against me, rolling out of bed, her feet hitting the floor. She didn’t say a word as she quickly shimmied into her jeans, throwing her shirt on over her head as she headed for the door, her things gathered up in her arms.

“(Y/n)?” I asked in confusion while my mind caught up with the last 30 seconds. Oh, shit… “(Y/n)!” I scrambled to my feet but the front door was already slamming shut. I slumped back down on the bed. “Fuck!”

~Y/N’s POV~

Panic consumed me as I booked it out the door and drove home. He said those words. Words that we agreed to never say. Friends with benefits. That’s all we were. Nothing more.

My heart was racing. What the hell did I do for this to happen?

“Maybe he was joking?” I said aloud, questioning everything as I entered the threshold to my home.

No, if he was joking he would’ve laughed his way through saying it. He can never tell a joke with a straight face.

“Fuck!” I yelled, throwing my purse across the room. The items in it spilled onto the floor where it landed.

Tears streaming down my face, I ran into my room and locked the door behind me. Michael has a key to my place and the last thing I wanted was to see him. He ruined everything!

Not bothering to change, I climbed into my bed. My thoughts were racing a million miles an hour. The last time this happened, things ended badly. Very badly.

“I love you,” he said when I caught him in bed with another woman.

“I love you,” he would claim every time he beat me when I tried to leave.

“I love you!” his voice echoed in my head for years to come.

~Michael’s POV~

You're still coming in a few weeks, right?

I stared at the message, waiting for a reply that never came. I sighed, swiping my thumb up my screen to hit the airplane icon on my phone before clicking it shut. I sighed again as I leaned my head against the glass of the plane’s window. “Fuck…” I muttered. Then I scoffed at myself. Really Mike? Fuck? That’s the only thing you’ve been saying for the last 6 hours.

“Jesus, who died?” Ashton’s voice asked me.

I opened my eyes that I hadn’t realized I had closed to peer back at the man frowning at me. He may have been frowning, but his hazel eyes were lit with humor. “I fucked up, Ash. I said the words we promised to never say.”

“Oh, shit…” The humor vanished as he took a seat across me from, resting a hand comfortingly on my knee. “Did you at least mean them?”

I swatted his hand off of me. “Of course I fuckin’ meant them!”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, fuck. Well, what’s the problem then exactly?”

“I wasn’t supposed to! That was the deal. Just sex. Keep the loneliness controllable. No real emotions. And I fucked it up!”

“Okay, back up. What exactly happened that made you say it in the first place?”

“Well, we had sex.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“And I dunno. We were just lying there like we always do. Joking with each other about how I better miss her and shit. And then, I dunno… it just sorta slipped.”

“Sorta slipped? How do those words just sorta slip?”

“Fuck if I know. But she just… she feels so good in my arms, mate. And I guess for a second I just wanted to pretend what it would be like if things were different. If I could have all of her.”

“So you didn’t mean it, then?”

“No, I did. That’s the problem. Like I know I should apologize, but I can’t. Because I don’t know how to apologize for saying something I meant to say. Like ‘whoops, sorry I let you in on how I’ve been feeling, my bad, you weren’t supposed to know’? I don’t know what to do, Ash. All I know is that I fucked up probably the closest thing I’ve ever had to the real thing. Three stupid fuckin’ words! If I ever met him, I swear I’ll kill him.”

“Not if she gets to him first, you won’t,” he chuckled. “Look, mate, and I know it’s easier said than done, but just try and move past it. Maybe this’ll all blow over by the time we head back home.”

“She’s gonna be with us in a month,” I reminded him.

“Shit… well, who knows what’ll happen a month from now.”

“Ash?”

“Yeah, Mike?”

“I appreciate all this,” I gestured about the man. “But, can I be left alone now?”

“Sure thing, buddy.” He patted at my leg as he got up and went over to bother Calum and Luke.

I clicked my phone, my home screen lighting up to a picture of her smiling brightly at me.

“We’ll never be lonely, right?” 

“Never.”

Course. Wouldn’t miss it.

I smiled at the notification. Maybe Ashton was right. Maybe this could blow over if either of us could pretend it never happened in the first place.

The plane rumbled and I turned my attention to the window, watching as the ground rushed by, then grew smaller and smaller as we climbed higher and higher. I felt a tear start to roll down my cheek, so I hurriedly wiped at my face, sniffing back even more. Or maybe we could just pretend she loved me too.

~Y/N’s POV~

In front of me were dark chocolate double doors. From the other side I could hear an orchestra playing a beautiful melody. I looked down at my hands to see myself holding a bouquet of cream coloured roses. 

I then notice that I’m wearing a beautiful dress. The top is white with intricate lace and pearl beading that overlap onto the skirt. The skirt was long and cream coloured to match the roses.

My cheeks started hurting because of how much I was smiling. Suddenly the band began playing louder, causing my heart to accelerate. The double doors opened slowly to reveal a beautiful ballroom that was decorated from top to bottom in whites and creams. Rows of chairs sat on both sides of the room creating an aisle for me to walk down.

I looked up to see Michael standing at the end of the aisle waiting. He hadn’t seen me yet. I start walking faster. He’s wearing a white tuxedo. His hair is combed, but still slightly messy as it always is. He turns and sees me. A smile breaks across his face as tears well up in his eyes. It takes everything in me to not drop the bouquet and run to him.

As I reach him, he steps forward and takes my arm. Walking me the last couple of steps. I turn and face him, basking in his presence. In the corner of my eye, I see a man I assume is a priest. He’s talking, but I don’t pay any attention. I was too busy studying Michael. And Michael was studying me back with bright green eyes.

“I love you,” he mouthed.

“I love you too,” I mouthed back.

I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing on my nightstand. I let out a groan as I rolled over to see who could be calling me at this ungodly hour. The screen was lit up with my best friend’s face. I let out a heavy sigh before answering.

“What’s up?” I grumbled.

“(Y/n)!” She squealed into the phone.

“Jesus Christ, woman. What do you want?!” I snapped.

“Well good morning to you too,” she giggled.

“Rosa, it is,” I pull my phone away to look at the time, “Holy shit, it is five in the goddamn morning. What do you want?”

“Well, I have news and I couldn’t wait anymore to tell you.”

“And that is?”

“I’m engaged!” she cheered into the phone.

Hurt panged into my chest as my dream flooded back to me. I stared blankly at the wall, not saying anything to Rosa about her news. My thoughts were racing. I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

“(Y/n)?” Rosa called out, bringing me back to the moment.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a second.”

“What’s wrong?” she sighed.

“Nothing, I’m just tired,” I mumbled.

“No because if I told you this two weeks ago, you would’ve been screaming. It’s Michael, isn’t it?”

“I can’t get him out of my head,” I sobbed as I continued to tell her about my dream.

“Honey, you need to talk to him.”

“Rosa, I ran. There’s nothing to say!”

“He’ll forgive you if you just talk to him. You’re still going on part of the tour, yeah?”

“Yeah. He asked me if I still planned on it, and I told him yes.”

“See! He wants you there. Just talk to him.”

“I don’t want to,” I admitted to her.

“Avoiding this isn’t going to solve anything,” she said sympathetically.

“You’re right.”

“I know that, Girl! Now, I’m going to let you go back to sleep. Dream about my wedding for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that we hung up. Before laying back down to sleep, I decided to check the notifications on my phone. I had three missed calls from two in the morning. All from Michael. I quickly made a mental note to text him in the morning before I left for work.

I sighed as I sat my purse on the kitchen counter after returning home from work. It had been another long day. It didn’t help that that was the night I was going to be flying out to see Michael.

“Leave it to me to wait until the last minute to pack,” I muttered to myself as I headed to the bedroom. Once I got to the door, I hovered my hand above the doorknob. Do I really want to go?

I shook the thought of staying here out of my head. You promised Michael that you’d go.

Without waiting another moment, I quickly opened the door and made my way in. Grabbing my suitcase, I shoved as much clothes as I could fit in it. I was going to be spending the rest of their tour with them, so I needed as many outfits as I could get. I then took a backpack and filled it with the rest of my essentials. As I packed, I let my mind wander. Mostly in thoughts about Michael and trying to figure out what I was going to say to him.

“Shit, I forgot to text Michael about him calling me!” I groaned. “He probably thinks that I hate him.”

A sudden knock at my front door pulled me away from my thoughts. I made my way to it and opened it to find Rosa on the other side.

“Why didn’t you just let yourself in?” I asked.

“With you being so stuck in your head, I didn’t want to scare you,” she shrugged.

“Well thanks for that. My stuff is in my room, let me go grab it.”

After grabbing my things, we took a silent trek to her car. It wasn’t until she started driving that Rosa spoke again.

“Did you talk to him?” she asked.

“No, I forgot…”

“How do you forget something like that?”

“He called me at two in the morning last night. I didn’t hear. I told myself I’d text him before going to work, but I woke up late. And I just kinda forgot,” I explained.

The rest of the car ride was silent until we got to the airport. I thanked her for giving me a ride and we made small talk until I had to go through security. Right before I went though, I took a picture with her and made an Instagram post. I then made my way to the gate and boarded the plane. Michael was always nice enough to buy me a first class seat.

After the flight had taken off, I motioned for the stewardess and asked her to get me wine. To keep the wine coming. My plan was to get drunk enough to pass out. I couldn’t be alone with my thoughts any more. They were all about Michael and what I may or may not feel for him. One thing I knew for sure though, was that I missed him. My body yearned to be held the way he holds me.

When I was half way through my second glass, the person next to me decided to make small talk, “Going to be up all night?” 

“Not the plan,” I gestured to my glass. “But, red eyes tend to do that to you.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Just seeing some friends. What about you?”

“I’m going home.”

“That’s nice,” I said before finishing my glass. “I wish we never learned to fly.”

“Fear of flying?” they laughed.

“Fear of what’s to come when we land,” I gave them a tight lipped smile before turning in my seat to end the conversation.

I made my way through the airport begrudgingly until I heard Michael shouting my name. When I spotted him, he was waving his arms in the air to further get my attention. A smile spread across my face at seeing him act like his goofy self. I quickly made my way over to them excited to see him, but as I got closer, my steps felt heavier. Every instinct in my body was telling me to turn away and run.

“Hey!” Michael said, pulling me into a hug the moment I got close. I returned his hug as quickly as I could. Not squeezing hard like I normally do to try and get it over with.

“Hey,” I mumbled.

As we let go, I saw Ashton walk up. An escape! I smiled at him.

“Hey, Ash!” I pulled him into one of my signature hugs.

“Hey, love. How was your flight?” he asked me as we pulled apart.

“Oh, it was great!” I lied. I quickly told him stories of previous flights I had. I didn’t want to admit that I spent most of it drunk and crying.

~Michael’s POV~

“Dude, would you relax?” Ashton scolded, looking at my leg that kept jostling his.

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled, pressing my palm flat against my leg to keep it from bouncing, but my other leg started it back up again.

“Jesus, you’re a fuckin’ mess, Mike…”

“Well, she hasn’t answered like any of my texts.”

“Did you call her?”

“Yeah, and she didn’t answer. I mean, I realized after that I had called her at like 2 in the morning, but still.”

“Hey, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re not hanging out outside an airport just for fun, are we? Like, (Y/n) got on the plane?”

I nodded. “Yeah. She made a post about catching her flight. I just don’t get why she can tell me that she’s still coming and then fuckin’ ignore me. Like I know she’s coming out to be with all of us and shit, but…”

“But we all know who she really comes for, and if she’s been ignoring you, then why is she bothering?” Ashton supplied.

“Exactly…”

“Well… maybe whatever she wants to say, she wants to wait to say it in person.”

I sighed, hoping he was right. “Shit, I see her!” I scrambled out of the car. “(Y/n)!” I shouted, waving my arms over my head to get her attention.

Her head lifted at the sound of my voice and she quickened her pace.

“Hey!” I smiled, pulling her in for a hug the moment she was close.

Her arms wrapped limply around my shoulders. “Hey…” she mumbled.

I felt myself deflate as I let her go. I bit my tongue when she noticed Ashton, perking right up. “Hey, Ash!” she beamed, giving him the hug that held all the warmth in the world.

“Hey, love. How was your flight?”

“Oh, it was great!” She started prattling off every detail of her travel, which sounded more like a mixture of other stories she had told us. I paid special care to pick up on any new details, wondering why she was hiding the truth of her most recent flight experience as Ashton and I took her bags and placed them in the trunk before we all climbed back in the car. 

When her leg pressed up against mine, I was willing to believe that she was just nervous about being around me given everything. But when I rested my hand on top of hers, she not only moved her hand away, but crossed her leg, shifting in her seat to give Ashton her full attention and effectively shutting me out.

“Mate? Mike? Michael!” Ashton shouted in my ear.

I flinched away, swatting at him like I would an annoying fly. “Fuck! What?!”

“You’ve been sulking all night. The last three days, really.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious…”

“Have you talked to her?”

“She doesn’t wanna talk to me, Ash.”

“How do you know that? She’s here, isn’t she?”

“Because I just do, alright?!” I snapped, slamming the beer bottle I’d been spinning in my palm down on the table and rising to my feet. “You think you know everything, but you don’t! You don’t know her! I do! And she doesn’t wanna fuckin’ talk to me because she fuckin’ hates me! Because the last guy who told her he loved her was a fuckin’ liar and that’s all she knows! All she knows to associate with those words is hate! And since I’m the one who said ‘em, guess who’s on the receiving end of that hatred? Me! Can’t you see that I’m losing a whole lot more than just some girl?! So, yeah! Sorry if my sulking is bringing you down, but I think I’m entitled to sulk when my world is fuckin’ fallin apart!” I knew people were turning their attention to watch me scream at Ashton, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the tears streaming down my face either. All I cared about was the pain in my chest threatening to break me wide open. Hell, if I had just yelled at Ashton in public, maybe I already had.

To Ashton’s credit, he just stood there, letting me go off. “Are you done?” he asked, his voice terrifyingly calm as I stood in front of him, my chest heaving.

“Yeah,” I answered, keeping my voice low as I felt the shame wash over me. Ashton was only looking out for me, and I knew that. “Sorry for yelling…”

His hand clapped on my shoulder. “Aw, it’s alright, buddy. C’mon, I’ll round everyone up and we’ll head back to the hotel.”

I nodded, watching him turn to leave me at the table. “Hey, Ash?” I called out.

“Hmm?” he asked, turning back around.

“Thanks. For listening and stuff. I know I’m getting on everyone’s nerves.”

“You’re not getting on anyone's nerves, Mike. You’re just going through it. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

I chuckled a little, shaking my head. “Well, forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.”

~Y/N POV~

“I’m going to get another drink,” I told Calum and Luke before standing up from our table and heading towards the bar.

I only took a few steps when I suddenly heard Michael yelling. I frowned and took a few more steps to get closer to hear better.

“You don’t know her! I do! And she doesn’t wanna fuckin’ talk to me because she fuckin’ hates me!” he snaps.

Is he talking about me? I take a few more steps until he’s in sight. In front of him, I see Ashton whose jaw is set as he just let’s Michael continue to yell at him.

“Because the last guy who told her he loved her was a fuckin’ liar and that’s all she knows! All she knows to associate with those words is hate! And since I’m the one who said ‘em, guess who’s on the receiving end of that hatred? Me!”

He’s definitely talking about me…

“Can’t you see that I’m losing a whole lot more than just some girl?! So, yeah! Sorry if my sulking is bringing you down, but I think I’m entitled to sulk when my world is fuckin’ fallin apart!” he finished. His chest was heaving as tears trailed down his face.

My heart felt like it was ripped in half. Tears started rolling down my own face. I turned on my heel and ran out to the patio of the bar. I didn’t want to become part of the scene that Michael just created. The air outside was nice and cool. I tried taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down, but they ended up more like hiccups. I leaned over the railing, feeling sick to my stomach.

“(Y/n)?” Ashton’s voice called out for me after a few minutes.

I turned back to look at him and the frown he was wearing deepend in concern as he walked up to me. I leaned over the railing again.

He started rubbing my back and asked, “Are you okay?”

“No!” I cried. Tears started falling faster.

“What’s wrong?” he pulled me into a hug. I buried my head into his shoulders and cried on his shirt. He continued rubbing my back as he held me.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“Are you talking about Michael?”

I nodded my head and Ashton let out a heavy sigh, “You need to talk to him.”

“I can’t!”

He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me out an arms length away. With his hands still on my shoulders, he looked me in the eyes, “You have to.”

“I know,” I sniffled, wiping my eyes. “I know I have to, but I’m just so scared.”

“Why are you scared?”

“I hurt him, Ash. I hurt him bad. I don’t know how he’d ever forgive me.”

“He will-”

“Let’s say he does. Then what? He thinks I hate him. He’s always going to wonder if I do or not. Which I don’t. I could never hate him. When I’m with him, it’s like nothing else in the world matters. My heart races and I get butterflies in my stomach, yet I’m so happy and comfortable at the same time. I like him, Ash. I like him so much it hurts. It’s killed me not being close to him this past month. I want him in my life. I can’t imagine a future without him! I even had a dream that I married him! And that scares me. What if he doesn’t want the same thing? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can never differentiate between him and my ex?” I cried.

“Have you ever thought about the fact that he’s probably just as scared as you?” Ashton asked. “He cares about you a lot, (Y/n). You’ve known Michael for years! He’s not like your ex, and I know that you know that.”

“Michael’s the first man I trusted after him…”

“Just talk to him.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.

He let out another sigh, “Come on, everyone is waiting for us. We’re going back to the hotel.”

~Michael’s POV~

I ducked into the bathroom as Ashton went to round everyone up. I gripped the sink as I peered at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and the tears I had shed had left track marks down my cheeks. I splashed water in my face to try to clear some of it up, hoping to pass for drunk rather than someone who had just sob-screamed at his friend in a public space. A feat that probably would work out better if I had actually gotten drunk. But I’d been scared to have anything beyond a single beer because I was afraid of how I would feel in a drunk state. I was already drowning sober, I didn’t want to risk hurting more than I already did, or confessing more things I was better off not confessing. 

I gave myself one good last stare before I threw on my sweatshirt, pulling up the hood to hide more of my face.

I found Calum and Luke towards the front of the bar, waiting expectantly. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked.

“Ash is getting (Y/n) from outside,” Calum answered. “You alright?”

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

Calum and Luke shared a look, before shaking their heads. “No, you’re not. But, whatever it is, you and (Y/n) will figure it out. You’ve been friends for too long to not bounce back from this,” Luke told me.

“I hope you’re right…” I sighed. Unfortunately, I had the sinking feeling that the conversation that would need to happen for me and (Y/n) to “bounce back” wasn’t one with a happy ending. Sure, the regression to basic pleasantries was killing me from the inside out, but at least it meant we were still in each other’s lives. Which, come to think about was how I had gotten into this mess in the first place. Wanting whatever part of herself she was willing to give me no matter how badly I wanted more because it was better than not having her at all. And yet, I still couldn’t bring myself to regret saying “I love you” to her. That was the one small comfort I could take away from all this pain. And all I could do was cling to the hope that she believed me.

I felt what small composure I’d been able to reassemble crack when I saw (Y/n) walking towards us with Ashton, and the wave of shame washed over me again. It wasn’t fair how the sweetest arrangement of eight letters had completely shattered us both. 

Ashton kept nudging me into her as we walked the block and a half back to the hotel, constantly clearing his throat as obnoxiously as possible. “Alright, I get it…” I growled at him under my breath, knocking my shoulder roughly into his.

“Then fuckin’ do something,” he muttered back, practically shoving me into her.

“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled, my hands going to catch her as she stumbled, throwing a glare at Ashton.

“Ss fine,” she sniffed, moving a step out of reach from me. “Sidewalk’s really uneven. Dark. Hard to see.”

“You okay?” I asked stupidly.

“Are you?” she countered. She drew her jacket tighter around her and picked up her pace to hurry into the hotel with Calum and Luke.

“No…” I answered, and my feet stopped carrying me forward.

“What the fuck?” Ashton questioned, hands going to my shoulders to keep pushing me forward. In front of us, Calum raised an eyebrow in silent question as an elevator arrived. Ashton waved him off.

“I tried…” I told him, tilting my head upwards like gravity would keep new tears from spilling.

“Try harder!” he hissed, as we waited for another elevator.

“Try harder how, Ash?! Talking things out doesn’t work if she doesn’t talk back! In fact, the only thing that’s kinda working is keeping my mouth fuckin’ shut. Like I should’ve to begin with…”

“Oh, don’t pull that shit! It wasn’t a slip of the tongue when you told her you loved her and we all know that. You meant to say them because you meant for her to hear them. You two just need to stop acting like you can sweep this under the rug.”

I shoved him into the elevator as the doors dinged open, hard. “We need to stop acting like we can sweep this under the rug?! You’re the one who keeps forcing our hands!”

“I’m not forcing shit! I’m trying to help you guys ‘cause I care about you!”

“Well I didn’t ask for your help!”

“Ask me if I give a fuck!” He slammed his fist into the buttons and the elevator started moving upwards. “Look…” his voice was soft when he spoke again. “You can hate me if you want to. This shit between you and (Y/n) is between you and her. You’re both adults. But you told her that you loved her for a reason. And she still came here for a reason. And if you two want to keep pussyfooting around the truth until one of you dies, that’s your choice to make. But you’re both my friends, and I’m not just gonna sit in silence when you’re both hurting.”

“It’s not you I hate, Ash… it’s him. I hate him so much. I hate what he did to her. And I hate that no matter what I do, I’ll never be enough. I’m not good at a lot of things. I know that. I’ve accepted that. But the one thing... the one thing I know I’m good at is loving her. It’s the greatest thing I’ll ever do.”

“So, tell her that,” he said as we stepped off the elevator and walked towards our room.

“Ash, you don’t get it… my greatest isn’t enough. I’m not enough. And I can hate him and blame him all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t good enough to be hers before him, and I’m still not good enough now. All I am is a distraction. So, I guess I’m good at two things...”

His jaw set as he pulled out the key card to let us into the room. “Well, lucky for you, I’m good at a few things myself.”

The look in his eyes frightened me. “Ash… what are y-”

He held up his hand, cutting me off. “(Y/n)?” he called out.

“Yeah?” she asked, poking her head out of the bathroom.

“Could you c’mere a second?” he asked as he opened up the closet and hung up his jacket.

“Ash, what are you doing?” I asked again as she came over to us with a confused, “What’s up?”

“Remember,” he said, grabbing our arms. “It’s not me you hate.” Then, he pushed us both forward, quickly shutting us inside.

“Ashton!” she gasped in surprise.

I rammed my shoulder into the door, but he must have been sitting in front of it because it didn’t budge. “Ashton! Open the bloody door!”

“No!”

She pounded her fists against the wood. “Ashton! This isn’t funny! Let us out!”

“I will once you two figure out your mess! Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop. Just text me when you’re done.”

“ASHTON!”

~Y/N POV~

“It’s no use (Y/n), he’s not going to let us out if we’re struggling,” Michael said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m going to kill him,” I muttered, stopping my banging on the door.

“That makes two of us,” he sighed.

We moved so we were facing each other, leaning against either side of the closet. Even in the low lighting, I could still make out Michael’s figure. I could tell he was looking at me too.

“Do you think there’s a light in here?” I asked, breaking the silence that engulfed us.

“I don’t think so, and if there was, I think the switch would be on the other side of the door,” he answered.

I sighed and started feeling my pockets for my phone, coming up short. I let out a huff of annoyance.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just breathed,” I shot.

“That’s not how you breathe. That was you huffing about something.”

A small smile crept onto my face. “I can’t hide anything from you, huh?”

“Nope.”

“I was going to pull out my phone and use the flashlight, but it got left out there,” I gestured to the door.

I watched Michael’s figure shift around until he pulled something out of his pockets. Suddenly a screen lit up, indicating that it was his phone. He quickly turned on the flashlight and shined it at me.

“Is that better?”

“No,” I giggled, blocking my eyes from the light. “Now I can’t see you at all.”

“Shit, sorry,” he mumbled, pointing the light at the floor.

Michael shuffled to his left before sliding his back down the wall until he was seated on the floor. I mimicked his movements and shuffled the opposite directions until my shoulder was pressed against the door frame. Michael then placed his phone on the ground between us.

With the light, I was then able to see his face. His eyes were glossed over with red surrounding the green. There were tear trails on his cheeks. I absentmindedly reached a hand over and cupped his cheek.

“Crying isn’t like you,” I murmured.

“I couldn’t help it,” he whispered, leaning into my touch.

I stroked his cheekbone with my thumb a couple of times before pulling my hand back. Michael appeared to deflate at the loss of contact.

“I’m sorry,” We both said at the same time.

“Why are you sorry?” I asked.

“Because I scared you off. I put a stress on us, that never should’ve been an issue,” he explained.

“Don’t be sorry. You only said the truth. I should be-” my voice broke. I cleared my throat as tears started to roll down my cheeks. “I’m the one who ran. I’m the one who created all of this drama because of something we both felt.”

“You mean that-”

“Yes,” I cut him off. “At least I’m pretty sure.”

He nodded his head, asking me to continue.

“I really like you a lot, Mikey. When you’re not around, I feel like I can’t breathe. Whenever I imagine my future, it’s always will you. I’ve been having dreams of us getting married, for crying out loud! And that scares me. I don’t know what to do. You said those words, and I panicked. For a moment all I could think about was him.”

Michael’s fists clenched the moment I brought up my ex. I put my hand on top of his before continuing.

“But you’re not him, and I know that. I fucked up and ran. I hurt you so bad and that hurt me. Because I was hurt, I got defensive, and I continued to hurt you. And I am so, so sorry. Michael, I don’t know how you’ll ever be able to forgive me.”

Tears were now streaming down my face. I looked up at Michael to see that he was crying as well.

“You’re already forgiven,” he said, grabbing my arm to pull me closer.

I shifted my body to allow myself to be pulled closer. Michael wrapped his arms around me. We wept into each other’s shoulders. 

After a little bit, I pulled away slightly to get Mikey to look at me. The moment he was looking at me, I smashed my lips against his. The kiss was salty from our tears, and held so much emotion. My heart started racing as butterflies erupted in my stomach.

We kissed until we were out of air. With our foreheads pressed together, a smile spread across my face.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I admitted to him.

“I’ve missed you too. Now, let’s get out of this closet.”

~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @galcalirwin​ @frontmanash​ @cxddlyash​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @talkfastromance4​ @aneclecticwriter​

[whatmakesmehappyy]

Consent- Calum Hood

Just a little thing that came to my mind one day. 

Rolling on your side you admired Calum’s sleeping profile. You smiled as you thought back to the night before, Calum singing his heart out on stage, the fans going wild at his voice. You brought your hand up to trace the veins in his hand before flipping it over and running your pointer finger along the creases there. Calum hummed and you looked up to see his eyes opening slowly. Another smile graced your face as he turned to face you, mirroring your smile. 

“Can I kiss you?” you asked. His lips quirked up at the corners. 

“‘Course, lovely.” you wiggled your way up toward his face, blanket falling off your shoulders and exposing them to the chilly morning air. 

“Lips?” you asked and he nodded again. You knew he found it odd, you always asking for permission to engage in an intimate act, whether it was for a kiss or a hug or even just to make sure it was okay if you sat down next to him. He never asked though, and you figured although he found it odd he didn’t find it weird enough to question you. 

Placing your lips on his your eyes fluttered closed and he pulled you on top of his chest where you settled in comfortably. Pulling away you placed a few more pecks to his lips and one on his nose for good measure before laying your head on his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. 

“The boys wanted to go out to dinner tonight with everybody. You wanna come?” Calum asked and you lifted your head up, nodding. 

“Who else is going? The girls?” you hadn’t seen the boys very much since they had come back to LA, too busy catching up with Calum while they were catching up with family and their girlfriends. 

“Mike said yeah last I checked.” you hummed and climbed off of him. He whined, “Where are you going?” Calum reached out and tugged on your hand. 

“To get ready.” you laughed as Calum pulled you back to bed.

“The dinner isn’t for hours, though.” Calum whined, burying his face into your stomach as you stood by the bed. 

You giggled, “Cal that tickles.” he blew a raspberry into your tummy in response. “Besides I’m not getting ready for dinner I’m getting ready for the day. It’s nine in the morning and my breath smells like sleep.” he blew another raspberry. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged slightly, he bit the skin around your stomach softly. “Are you wanting to stay in bed all day? Do nothing but watch Netflix? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“And chill.” he mumbled. 

“What was that?” 

He lifted his head out from your tummy, “And chill.” he said. You barked out a startled laugh. 

“Calum Hood!” you reprimanded, swatting his hair softly. 

“What! You love me and I love you so why not?”

“Who said I love you, hm?” you teased. 

“You did, you little shit. Three months ago, on our anniversary at around eight at night. You were in that stunning outfit and your hair was really really pretty that night too. You should do that style more often.” Calum said and he threw his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. 

Your breath caught in your throat, “You remember stuff like that?” you whispered. 

Calum looked at you, “Of course I remember that stuff. It was the first time the woman I’m gonna marry told me she loved me. I couldn’t forget that if I tried.” he looked at you and stood, fingers tilting your head towards him, “I remember everything about you. All of the things you might think are insignificant are some of the most important things for me to remember. Because it’s you and I love you. And I’ve never loved anybody more. You’re it for me, y/n.” You looked at Calum as he spoke. He didn’t open up often. He was more honest with you than most people, save the boys. But he’d never said something like this. Tears sprung to your eyes and you tried to blink them away. 

“Can- can I please hug you?” you whispered, throat too thick with emotion to speak any louder. 

“Always.” Calum whispered and you threw yourself into his arms and shoved your face into his neck, a tear slipping out and onto his shirt. The love you felt for him overwhelmed you and your heart felt like it could burst with emotion and you let more tears slip onto his soft shirt. “I love you, you know?” you nodded. You did know. He showed you everyday. Whether it was shown through affection or a text when he was away, or a random FaceTime in the middle of the day. You had caught on quickly that he would stay up late whenever he was in the world so that he could FaceTime you at a time that was reasonable for you. Your heart had fluttered when you realized it. As you hugged him to your body you remembered an interview he had done years ago. The interviewer was asking about heartbreak after the recent release of Jet Black Heart and Calum said he had never been heartbroken. He joked about having a “heart of steel”. The two of you had met not long after that and you quickly learned that his “heart of steel” was soft and needed to be held carefully. You promised yourself that you’d do everything in your power to keep his heart soft and warm. His exterior was strong but when he was in the presence of somebody he was comfortable with his walls crumbled, he was open and often the emotions he held in during the day came out full force. Keeping his heart soft was one reason you always asked to initiate anything. You knew that as long as he allowed you to keep his heart, you’d protect it with everything you had. 

“Okay I need to… I don’t know… make cookies or something.” you said, stepping out of his hold. Calum laughed but pulled you back into his chest. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours sweetly. He deepened it slightly but pulled back before things got heated. You loved his kisses. He always asked for consent before you guys went too far, always making sure you were comfortable and willing to take things further, but he wasn’t as cautious as you were when leaning down to kiss you or wrap you in his arms. You didn’t mind, you were asking for his consent, you were concerned with him; he knew he had your consent and if he didn’t he knew you’d say something. 

“Cookies?” Calum questioned, following you to the bathroom where you started to wash your face, “Babe it’s not even after noon.” he pulled his toothbrush out and squirted toothpaste on it. 

“I’m just feeling very emotional and I need to bake. Does Ashton like muffins? I’m thinking I’ll make some cookies and muffins, maybe some scones.” you dipped your head to the sink, rinsing off the face wash before pulling your toothbrush out and starting to brush. 

“Yes, Ashton will like muffins.” Calum laughed around his toothbrush. 

“Great. So muffins for Ash and KayKay, I’m thinking cookies for Mike? I’ll need to make more for Crystal too. What about Luke and Sierra? Scones or cookies?” 

“Y/n, the boys will like anything you make them. But you know you don’t have to right?” Calum came up behind you and put his hand on your waist as you brushed vigorously. You nodded before spitting, your butt pushing into Calum as you bent over, “I think I like this.” You saw Calum’s grin in the mirror as you straightened up and rolled your eyes, pulling him towards your kitchen. 

“Could you get the flour up there?” you pointed to the cabinet above the sink. “Oh! And the sugar, too! It should be right next to it. The salt and baking soda should be behind that.” you listed off the ingredients while you grabbed the chocolate chips, eggs, milk, and a mixing bowl. “Should we do a batch with nuts and one without?” you tapped your finger to your chin thoughtfully. 

“Just how many batches are you planning on making, sweet girl?” you turned to face Calum who was measuring out the flour. His eyes met yours and he smiled. 

“Cheek?” you asked and he grinned at you before nodding and you placed a kiss on his cheek where you could feel him smile as your lips met his skin. 

_____________________________________________

“Does this look alright? What kind of restaurant is it? Fancy? Casual? Fancy casual?” you called out from the closet, trying to find the best outfit. 

“Darling, it’s just a restaurant and you’ll look great in anything, promise.” Calum’s voice floated over to you from where he was in the bathroom and you huffed. Sometimes men could be so unhelpful. 

You grabbed your phone from the bed and texted Crystal, ‘What are you wearing tonight? Cal won’t tell me what the dress code is like!?!?!?!?!?!’ You tossed your phone back on the bed next to Calum’s and saw it light up with a text from Luke. 

“Cal, Luke texted you!” 

“What does it say?” you picked his phone up and typed in the password (your birthday) and clicked on the messages with Luke. 

“He wants to know the name of the restaurant.” you laughed and waited for Calum to tell you. 

“Fucking idiot.” Calum laughed, “It’s literally where him and Sierra had their first date, why is he like this?” he came out from the bathroom and grabbed his phone, sending a reply before picketing it. 

“What’s the name?” you asked. The name would give you a clue of how to dress. He didn’t reply and you threw a sock at him, missing terribly. Just then your phone dinged and you reached for it to see Crystal had replied. 

‘Wear a nice dress. It’s not too fancy but it’s not a casual affair either’  You sent a reply back thanking her for helping before deciding on a long dress that you had only been able to wear a few times before. With you makeup already done you were only waiting on Calum. You had just sat down on the bed and opened Tetris while you let your phone charge when Calum emerged from the bathroom. He looked stunning in a maroon button down and black pants. You got distracted and only snapped out of it when your phone buzzed letting you know you lost the game of Tetris. 

“Ready, love?” Calum called, walking to the door of your room. You hopped off the bed, placing a kiss on Duke’s head before following Calum, grabbing the heels you placed by the door on your way out. You were not going to wear those any longer than you had to and that meant waiting until you were parked outside of the restaurant to strap them on. 

“Hand?” you asked as you got into Calum’s car, holding your palm up for his to grasp if he wanted. As he closed the door and turned the ignition over he laced his hand through your and pulled out of the spot. 

“Is it okay if we pick up Ash on the way?” he asked, glancing at you as you shuffled through his phone to find a good song to play. 

“Yes! I miss him!” he knew you wouldn’t say no and seeing your face light up at the idea of seeing one of his best friends made his heart swell more than he could comprehend. “Oh I hope he wears a bandana tonight!” 

“You- What?” Calum asked, squeezing your hand. 

You shrugged, “I just think they would make a comeback. I miss those days.” 

Calum kisses the back you your hand, “I love you, sweet girl.” 

“And I, you, sweet boy.”

_____________________________________________

“Y/n! It’s been forever! How are you?” Sierra greeted you with a hug, Luke waiting with open arms right behind her. 

“I’ve been great! I loved hanging out with you while these dorks were on tour.” you laughed with her as Luke squeezed you tighter when he heard your words. 

“Hey! We’re great! Don’t be rude!” 

“Luke, I love you. You know I do… but you’re most definitely a dork.” you laughed as he pulled back from the hug. He huffed and squeezed your shoulder with a smile on his face. Just then the hostess came over to your group to show you to your table. There was already a few open bottles of wine at the table and wine glasses ready to be filled.

As you slid in next to Sierra, Calum whispered in your ear, “I didn’t tell you when we left but you look absolutely stunning today.” you turned to smile at him and thanked him with a blush on your cheeks. 

Shortly after sitting a waiter came over to take your orders and hustled away with the promise that your appetizers would be out soon. Casual chatter filled the table, questions about tour were brought up as well as seeing family again and traveling. A happy buzz coated your body as you listened to Calum talk and you watched him, his smile never leaving his face. There was laughter all around the table and a feeling of utter happiness warmed your body. “Can I kiss you?” You whispered in Calum’s ear and you saw his smile get brighter as he nodded, puckering his lips for you. “Thank you.” you replied as you pulled away. 

“Always.” Calum said, grabbing you hand under the table. You listened to the conversation happily and you laughed when the boys got a little wine tispy, their demeanor becoming louder, more jovial. Finally everybody finished their meal and the check came before everybody filed out of the restaurant. “You guys wanna come over? Y/n made all of you some gifts.” Calum asked the group, arm around your shoulder and you reached your hand up to meet his fingers.

Before you grasped his hand you turned to him, “Hand?” he looked down at you, smiled, pecked your nose and nodded. Happily, you grasped his hand as he tugged you towards the car. 

“I’m in!” Ashton said, wrapping his arm around Calum’s shoulder, tugging him into Ashton’s chest, which pulled you in, consequently. 

“Oof.” you huffed, trying to get out from under Calum’s arm, knowing the boys well enough to know they were a bit drunk and you figured it was going to turn into rough housing quickly. You were right as Calum pinned Ashton against the car and laughed victoriously. You rolled your eyes and turned to Michael, “Are you and Crys in?” he turned to you and smiled, nodding happily. You smiled at Crystal who hugged you and thanked you for inviting them over. You finally managed to get Calum and Ashton in the car, the two of them giggling wildly about some stupid joke. “May I have the keys, Calum?” you asked, holding your hand out. He dug his hand in his pocket, handing them over to you. 

“Be careful with my baby.” Calum said and you rolled your eyes. 

“Calum I know how to drive your car.” 

He looked at you incredulously, “I’m telling the car to be careful with you. You’re my baby.” you flushed fiercely. 

“You guys are so cute I love it.” Ashton was laying in the back seat, face turned towards the front where he was watching you and Calum. “I don’t get something, though.” he mumbled, moving slightly as you pulled out of the parking spot. 

“What’s that, Ash?” you asked, flipping the blinker on and glancing in the rear-view mirror to see Michael and Luke both following you. 

“Why do you always ask if you can kiss Calum? Or hold his hand for that matter? That’s not normal, I don’t think.” you blushed, hard. Looking away from Calum’s questioning eyes and focusing on the road, “Is it because you’re insecure? Because I knew a girl like that. Wait! Kelsey! You know her! You met her! Yeah she was really insecure about our relationship. She was scared that she was moving too fast, or that I thought she was using me or whatever. I didn’t think that, just so you know. She was lovely, and I tried my hardest to let her know I really liked her. But it just didn’t work, you know? Oh well.” Ashton was rambling but you barely caught any of it. You were thinking about what he said. It wasn’t normal. You knew he wasn’t trying to be mean, he was just drunk and didn’t have much of a filter. 

Pulling into your and Calum’s driveway you got out quickly, unlocking the front door to let everybody in. It wasn’t that you were insecure about your relationship with Calum, never. It was not about that at all, but you were still embarrassed that you had been asked about that in front of Calum. “Is this for us, y/n?” Sierra asked from the kitchen. You padded in to see her looking at all the baking you did. 

“Yeah! Yeah, this batch is for you! That’s for you guys, Mike. Ash these are yours.” you passed out the batches and they all thanked you with hugs before piling onto the couch to talk. You made your way up the stairs and took off your outfit, changing into something more comfortable. You quickly took off your makeup before going downstairs to mingle for a while longer. 

____________________________________________________________________________

“Ugh, finally.” Calum sighed as he climbed under the covers. You remained relatively quiet throughout the night, trying to think of a way to explain to Calum why you did what you did. “Hey, please look at me, sweet girl.” You turned on your side. “You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want. Ashton was drunk and rambling, I’m not mad or anything. And I really hope that you’re not insecure about our relationship. I’d hate to think I lead you to believe you’re anything but the best thing in my life.” 

“I’m not insecure. It’s something else.”

“I’m here if you want to talk, and if you don’t want to I don’t mind. I won’t push.”

“It’s about consent.” you blurted. 

“Consent?” Calum quirked his head. 

“I don’t want to talk about this when you’re not sober.” 

“Hey, hey, that’s fine if you don’t want to talk but I do want you to know that I’m completely sober right now, have been for a few hours now.”

“It’s just…” you trailed off, “you should be able to give consent.” Calum nodded. “And I know what it’s like when you don’t give consent and people do whatever they want anyway.” you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“What- are- did something happen? Are you okay?” Calum sat up quickly, grabbing your upper arms.

“I’m- no I’m okay! That’s- I wasn’t talking about that!” Calum sagged into your chest, breathing out a sigh of relief. “I’m talking about you.” 

Calum’s eyebrows furrowed, “That’s never- I mean, I’ve never been through that, though.”

“You have though! Even if you don’t see it as that. When fans come up to you! And they hug you without asking, or kiss your cheek without asking if it’s okay. Or they try to kiss you! Or- or when they encroach on your space. They don’t always ask. And I figured the least I could do was make sure it was okay if I did that stuff, since they don’t.” you shrugged and looked away from him. You felt foolish for admitting it, especially since Calum hadn’t even noticed it. Maybe you were looking to far into things. You looked up quickly when you heard Calum gasp. You were startled to see tears running down his cheeks and his eyes red-rimmed. “Cal-” he wrapped his hand around your leg, “I’m so sorry.” you tried to apologize.

“Don’t…” he trailed off and you kept quiet, tears of your own burning your eyes. “That’s not for you to worry about.” he whispered. 

“Yes it is! You’re my boyfriend, and sometimes people don’t respect your privacy and that’s… that’s not okay.” avoiding his gaze, still, you played with Duke’s tail that was resting in between you and Calum. 

“No, no I mean, I love that you’re looking out for me, it means the world. But you don’t have to ask. It’s not a problem that you have to worry about. I’ll tell you if I don’t want to kiss you, or hug you, or hold your hand. Though I don’t think I’ll ever not want to do that stuff with you. I love you. And I can’t believe that you took it upon yourself to make up for the fans that can’t respect our space, but you don’t have to try to fix it, okay? I love you, forever, my love.” you looked up at him, and, for the first time in your relationship, you leaned into him, pressing your lips to his without asking. It was short-lived, however, when Calum pulled back only a few seconds after you kissed him. 

“What-?” you started to ask but stopped when you saw Calum’s wide grin.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just that I’m so in love with you. And that’s the first time you’ve kissed me without asking. I loved it.” you pressed your face into his chest, hiding your face. He tilted your chin up and looked down at you, lovingly, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n.”

[peleksstuff]

Where Calum Is A Fucking Coward (gif's not mine)

"I'm really happy for you, dude. There is someone out there who can really handle you being a punk. I'm happy for you even though you didn't choose me as your bestman. Speaking of bestman. Calum Hood, who does not believe in love will give us a lovable speech." Ashton speech make the audience laugh before Calum takeover.

"Real funny, Ash.…Michael and Crystal. Damn, one of us is really married now, who's gonna be next?"

"Probably not you." Michael shout which make the audience laugh, cause they all know Calum, the guy who disgust love.

"Cause love is scam." he replied.

'Cause you're afraid of love, you bitch' (y/n) also wanna shout it.

"But the love between the two of you is an exception, I guess?" the audience laugh again.

"Please lets drink our champagne to our newly weds." the audience raise their drinks before drinking the champagne.

"What a shitty speech." Michaels comment to Calum's speech which earn him a slap on the chest by his now-so-called wife, Crystal.

"Hey, appreciate your bandmate."

(y/n) are now with the girls gushing about Crystal's wedding, wishing her and Michael the best. (y/n) feel so pathetic being jealous at Crystal's wedding cause she know she will never experience this with Calum as his groom. Why does she have to fall in love with a person who fears it.

"So who's gonna be married next?" Crystal asked.

'Obviously not me' (y/n) thought so she eye Sierra cause Luke's chatting about her all day, it starts to annoy her. How all of Calum's bandmates were all lovey-dovey with their girlfriends. And there's Calum who says 'love is a lie' all the time. Fucking bitch. (Calum not Sierra)

"Why you all looking at me?" Sierra asked which is kinda cute how blind she is, how she didn't know that's Luke's really whipped on her.

"Girl, please." Kay said.

"Aren't you and Ashton just travel in Paris? The city of love." (y/n) starting to feel out of place with this topic cause all of their boyfriend are actually in love with them and (y/n) relationship with Calum is all about sex with just tiny bit strings attached.

She excuse herself to the girls that she just need to go to the comfort room. And no she really didn't go to the comfort room, she goes to the balcony to smoke, habit she get from Calum.

She smokes for a while, deciding what she'll do with Calum. How to stop the feelings that she's starting to feel.

"(y/n)" Ashton startle you. You just glare at him which he just laughs.

"The girls are on the inside, why you here?" he asked joining you on the balcony with a drink in his hand.

"Need a fresh air." you replied, bringing the cigarette on your lips again. He watch you take it and laugh.

"You get that from him?" well he's not actually wrong so you just nod before chuckling he do really knows his mates.

"He smoke when he's bothered, i wonder if you do that too." An actual dad in the band. You stare at him, not confirming anything.

"What's on your mind?"

Calum. You thought.

"When will you gonna marry Kay?" he laughs at your question then drink the wine he brought. Is he nervous?

"So you will be stuck being Calum's date again?…I gotta say Calum's a shitty date." hes not wrong about that.

"Yes he is." you agreed.

"You love him dont you?" hes not wrong about that too. You stare at him first before smiling sadly.

"It doesnt really matter."

"Fair enough, the man disgust the word and feeling of being in-love." (y/n) wanna know who hurt Calum for him not to believe in love anymore.

"Disgust? I think hes more scared to it." (y/n) think that Calum heart been broke before and he doesnt wanna feel it again. He's scared of being broken again.

But before Ashton could speak again, he was cut by his girlfriend.

"Ashton, here you are. (y/n)? oh my god, you two been missing a lot. Luke's just proposed to Sierra." she says before grabbing his boyfriend which you also followed.

The first thing you saw is Calum who's standing beside the pissed off, Michael.

"Idiot, Why it has to be on my wedding?" Michael says but we all know deep inside he's happy for Luke.

After the successful proposal, a dance was announce to celebrate Luke's and Sierra's engagement. Calum found your arms and lead it to his shoulder while his hands are unto the back of your waist. You can smell the cigarette in his mouth. Has he been smoking too? Whats bothering him? You wanna ask him that, but he starts to speak when youre bout to.

"Do you ever wanna get married?" So thats what's bothering him?

'Yes, to you' you wanna aswer his question with that, but you know better.

"Still not on my mind." you lie. "Tell me, so I could let you go."

-

I take request 😊

[calpalirwin]

When I Pray For You

Summary: Ashton Irwin had only planned on performing and enjoying his New Year’s Eve rocking out to 80s music. He never planned on the woman in the black dress shaking up his world. What a way to rock in the new decade.

A/N: So this was originally a one-shot piece designed to satisfy my widest daydreams after actually meeting Ashton Irwin at a New Year’s Eve party. And now it’s a 3-part series. Catch up here with Part 1 and Part 2.

Content: Pregnancy. Cursing. General shenanigans.

Word Count: 7.5K

And away, and away we go!

~~~

“So, who are we gonna pick to be the godfather?” I asked her, once the shock wore off and we were curled up in bed.

“All 3 of them,” Bridget said simply.

“All 3 of them for 1 kid?” I giggled. “Oh, they’re gonna be so spoiled…” I continued to giggle with a small groan.

“You didn’t really look at the picture did you?” she asked.

“No,” I said sheepishly. I had been too excited to realize anything about it besides it being a sonogram.

“Probably for the best.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Look closer at the picture, Ash.”

I scrambled to reach for where I had placed it on the bedside table. I squinted, then my eyes shot wide open as I took in the small “A”, “B”, and “C”. “Oh, fuck…” I breathed, clapping a hand to my mouth. “OH, FUCK!”

“More than you bargained for?” she laughed.

“TRIPLETS!” I was on my feet, tears streaming down my face.

“Ash, you’re yelling.”

“HOLY FUCK!” I was spinning in circles, my mind racing, my vision blurry. A year ago I was just a dude who liked a gorgeous girl in a dazzling dress. Now she was going to be my wife and she was carrying not one of my kids, not two, but three! Three babies! Three… babies...

“Ash? ASHTON!”

~~~

“Hey, there you are,” her voice said softly as I opened my eyes.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled, wondering why I was on the bedroom floor. “Did you kick me out of bed?”

She laughed. “Yeah, like I’m strong enough to do that.”

“Triplets, huh?” I asked, it all coming back to me as I stood up.

“Whoa, easy there,” she said, gripping my arms to help keep me steady.

“We’re gonna be outnumbered, baby…” I realized, sitting back down on the bed.

“I know. Good thing we got 3 godfathers on hold.”

“So, they each get one?”

“Yeah. Figured we could name them after them? Sort of anyone. Like initial wise. I want Irish names, though.”

I smiled at her. God, she was perfect, wasn’t she? “Wait, you said you were due in May. Do you know the genders already?”

She nodded, biting her lip. “Well, Sierra knows. And Crystal. They’re planning the reveal party.”

“So, Luke and Mike also know?”

“Nope. The guys don’t know a thing. There are small benefits to you guys being off on tour. Easier to keep things a secret.”

“God, how are you not showing?”

“Oh, I am,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“You’re still beautiful.” Then, “Wait, you said ‘Baby Irwin’, not ‘Irwins’.”

“I know.”

I quirked an eyebrow at her.

She laughed. “I wasn’t sure if you had noticed much besides that it was a sonogram. I didn’t want you to faint on me in public.”

“Good call,” I giggled weakly.

“You good?” she asked, snuggling up next to me, her brown eyes still holding a trace of worry.

I held her tight against me, pressing a kiss to her hair, “So good. You?”

“I’ve had about four months to get used to the idea, Ash. Yeah, I’m good.”

“Fuck!” I groaned, tears forming in my eyes, this time not with joy.

“What?”

“I’ve missed four months…” I said with a choked sob. Then, I was weeping.

“Ash,” her voice soothed, her arms holding me tight. “It’s okay, Ash. We’re okay.”

“I’m already the worst father!” I wailed, sounding like a broken boy, not a father and husband to me. Not at all a man that deserved her.

Suddenly her lips were on my arms, leaving those soothing kisses I’d come to desire so much when my mind went dark. And just like that, she was pulling me out of the pit, loving the unlovable. “There you are,” she smiled when my breathing became regular.

“Sorry,” I sniffed, wiping at my face, beyond embarrassed.

“Listen to the good voice,” she reminded me. “The one that tells you that you are going to be an amazing father because you are beautiful and strong and wild and caring.”

“That voice sounds a lot like you.”

“Good. Listen to it. I have a tendency of being right.”

~~~

“Wait what?” Calum blinked, the only calm one out of the trio when we told the band. Luke was sobbing in his hands. Mike was running laps around the house screaming.

“She’s having 3 babies, dumbass,” Sierra said with an eye roll, rubbing Luke’s back soothingly. “It’s okay, Lu.”

“I’m just so happy!” the tall blonde man smiled, wiping at his face and pulling it together.

“I call dibs on godfather!” Mike screamed, finally coming to a halt.

“You each get to be a godfather,” Bridget told him happily. “That’s the joy of having triplets, Mike. Nobody gets to be left out.”

He crossed his arms, green eyes narrowed. “Fine. I guess that’s fair. Hey, Crys?”

“Whoa…” Crystal said, holding up a hand. “3 babies in 1 year is enough, Clifford.”

“What? No. I want an engagement ring like Ash.”

“Oh, thank God!” Crystal laughed in relief. “No offense, babes,” she said to Bridget.

“None taken,” Bridget said back with a grimace. “Quit kicking each other!” she growled at her stomach.

“They’re moving?!” we all asked, rushing to touch her stomach.

“They need to stop!” Bridget said, shooing all the hands away except mine.

“What are they?” Mike asked.

“Normally I’d lecture you on how gender is a social construct,” Bridget told him, “But Si, get the cupcakes. Or help me to my feet. No, just bring me the cupcakes.”

“Are you tired, baby?” I asked her, pulling her feet into my lap.

“I’m a lot of things, Ash,” she chuckled wryly.

“A pregnancy reveal, and a gender reveal?” Luke said, teary-eyed again.

Don’t you dare start crying again, Luke. Because then I will,” Bridget threatened him.

“Alright, here you guys go,” Sierra said, bringing out a small box of cupcakes.

“Everybody filming?” I checked, opening the box while 5 phones turned in our direction.

“Whoa, just one of you,” Bridget said, waving her hands. “We don’t need the 5 voiceovers. Crystal, you record.”

“Irwin triplet gender reveal, here we go!” Crystal’s voice announced.

I held one of the cupcakes close to Bridget’s mouth so we could both bite into it, revealing the blue frosting inside. “Boy!” we all cheered.

“Dibs!” Calum decided, taking the cupcake from us. “Godfather to the boy!” Calum sneered playfully at Luke and Mike, shoving the rest of the cupcake in his mouth.

“My turn!” Mike said.

“Ready, baby?” I asked, holding up the second cupcake.

She pecked at my lips. “Ready.”

“Girl!” we cheered around our bites, handing the pink-filled cupcake to Mike.

“Whoohoo!” Mike whooped, swallowing the cupcake in one bite.

“Final one,” I said, waving the last cupcake for Crystal’s benefit.

“Alright, Luke, ready to find out what your godkid is?” Bridget grinned, her tongue blue, pink frosting smeared by her lips.

Luke was practically vibrating with excitement for his turn.

“Here goes nothing,” Bridget shrugged, as we bite into the last cupcake, pink frosting coating our faces. “Girl! You’re outnumbered, Ash!” Bridget cheered, a wild grin on her face.

“Protect you sisters, Bubba,” I whispered, rubbing my hands over her stomach.

“They can protect themselves,” Bridget told me sternly, handing Luke the cupcake.

~~~

“Oh, my God…” I grumbled, placing my phone face down on the coffee table.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, half asleep in my arms as we laid together on the couch.

“Nothing. The video Crys posted,” I sighed, pushing my hair back.

“What about it? People like it, don’t they?”

I rubbed at my eyes in frustration. A year later and she still wasn’t fazed. She grinned every time she got a new follower, excitedly waving her phone at me. She waved at the paparazzi and asked how they were. “They do. And they don’t. Just the same old bullshit.”

She frowned. “You know I don’t really pay much attention to what they say. We know the truth. Fuck what everyone else thinks.”

“I know.”

“You’re angry,” she said, putting her hands on my face. “What are they saying?”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to upset you.”

Her frown deepened. “Ash…”

I smiled a little and pushed her lips up. “Stop that,” I scolded lightly.

“That’s my thing,” she said, smiling anyway. “What did they say?”

“Just assumptions that I asked you to marry me because you were pregnant. How it’s not very ‘Christian’ of me,” I said, leaving out the worst assumptions- that she had either cheated and was trapping me, or that she had gotten pregnant on purpose, again to trap me.

She laughed. “God, that’s such utter bullshit. People really will shit on other people’s happiness, huh? Wow…”

“Sometimes people just suck,” I shrugged, still angry at the hate people were giving her.

She frowned again. “Uh-oh… you’re not mad about what they’re saying about you, are you? Which means…” she stopped, her mind putting the pieces together. “Those assholes…” she muttered, angry tears in her eyes.

“Shh, baby, it’s fine. We know the truth,” I soothed, my hands rubbing up and down her back as her anger made her break down. 

“That is such BULLSHIT!” she cried into my shirt. “We planned this! These babies are planned! We’re getting married because we want to!”

“Shh, it’s okay,” I continued to soothe, letting her give voice to both our anger. 

“This is bullshit, Ash!”

“I know.”

“People fuckin suck…” she mumbled, her exhaustion overriding her anger. 

“Do you want me to address the comments? Or just leave it be?”

“Address it please…” she mumbled against me.

I reached for my phone, clicking it open and going live, not caring how much hell I’d catch for this with management. This was my personal life people were going after. They had made the mother of my children- my future wife- cry. I was pissed. But I needed to stay calm, for her sake, and maybe for my own. “Hey, guys. Ashton here. So, as some of you know, Bridget and I are expecting triplets. As some of you also know, we’re engaged. And I just wanted to take this moment to clarify a few things. So, Bridget and I decided we wanted to have kids together while I was still in Europe last summer for No Shame. It was a decision we made together. We weren’t expecting for her to get pregnant as quickly as she did. We knew this was something that takes time. But regardless of how short it took us, or how long it could have taken, the fact remains the same: we’re beyond excited to be parents together. We were, and are ready for this. Now, as far as the proposal goes, I actually bought those rings the day after we announced publicly that we were together last March.”

“You did?” her voice asked, her head lifting up.

“Course I did. I love you, baby,” I said, kissing her softly. 

“I love you too,” she smiled, tears in her eyes. 

“Good tears?”

“Very good.”

“Good. Cuz 5 minutes she was angry crying that some of you were saying… well frankly some rude shit,” I told the camera and her face hid back in my chest. “Anyway. I had the rings about 2 months before we decided to have kids. And when I proposed last week- because I kept stupidly waiting for the right moment, even though every moment with her is the right moment,” I paused to chuckle as she hiccup happy sobbed into my chest. “I didn’t know she was pregnant. I proposed because I love her and want to spend my life with her, preferably as her husband. The pregnancy and proposal have nothing to do with each other besides the fact that they were both going to happen eventually. In conclusion, yes, we’re excited to be outnumbered by our triplets. And yes, that’s ours as in hers and mine. Yes, we’re excited to be engaged and start planning our wedding. Yes, our heads are spinning. No, we don’t think it’s too fast. We both believe life is too short to not chase after what- or in this case who- you love. And as for the Christian aspect of it? God loves me because he has blessed me with an amazing woman who is carrying not one, not two, but three of my children like the unbelievable badass she is. I think He’s got bigger things to worry about than two people who actually love each other having babies out of wedlock. To those of you who have expressed your happiness, love, and support to my growing family, we love and thank you. To the rest of you? Well, this is the truth straight from the source. Anything you wanna add, baby?” I asked, glancing down to find her asleep on my chest. “Oh,” I said to the camera, my voice dropping to a whisper. “My badass superhero of a woman is asleep. Love you all, bye!”

~~~

“I pray you love like your momma,” her voice sang softly from the couch. I paused in my entrance, listening to her sing to our babies, her hands moving across her stomach. God, she was beautiful.

“Which song is that?” I said, coming over to kiss her.

“Oh!” she said, her cheeks flushing, her hand scrambling to stop the music. “Nothing, just a song I like to sing to them sometimes.”

“Country, huh?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow. Any time I caught her singing and asked what it was, I always got the “just a song I like to sing sometimes,” response, like she was embarrassed to admit that she liked other genres of music. I grabbed her phone, taking note of the song title.

She shrugged. “I like it.”

“I know you do.”

Her blush deepened. “Oh, I was thinking of names now that we know the genders.”

“Oh?” I asked, perking up and moving to sit next to her, helping her adjust against me.

“Yeah. Connor Theodore, Logan Rose, and Monroe Grace.”

“That sounds perfect, baby,” I smiled at her.

When she drifted off to sleep, something she took full advantage of on her days off because the pregnancy often left her exhausted, I set out to work. I listened to the song she had been singing, choking back the tears and picking softly at the guitar strings, determined to learn it as fast as possible.

“Ash!” her voice called out, drawing me from my thoughts. “I need help!”

I chuckled, setting the guitar aside and made my way downstairs. “Are you stuck? I asked her, giggling as she tried to roll herself to her feet.

“I am 6 months pregnant with 3 of your children,” she growled, her brown eyes hard. “Help me off this damn couch, or so help me God, I will end you where you stand.”

I giggled despite her threat. “C’mon, you,” I said, giving her my hands and pulled her up with ease. Pregnancy or not, she was still as light as a feather.

“I hate how easy that is for you,” she grumbled, staring up at me.

“How easy what is? This?” I asked, bending to wrap an arm under her knees and scooping her into my arms.

“I don't know whether to cry because of my anger or your thoughtfulness,” she mumbled, her hands gripping my shirt.

“How about neither, and I rub your feet?” I suggested.

“And my back?” she sniffed anyway.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

~~~

“Aw, look at these,” she said with a small laugh, moving her laptop so I could look at the pictures.

“You look beautiful,” I agreed, admiring the picture of her in the flowing dress, picturing her in a different one.

“I look 7 months pregnant,” she said with an eye roll. “You, on the other, look hot. As per usual.”

I chuckled, heat rising to my cheeks.

“Seriously. It’s really not fair how hot you are. Like, look at this shit,” she said, finger pointing at a picture where I was behind her, my hands cradling her stomach, her head tilted up, her eyes closed, a small on both our faces as I kissed her head. “You, sir, walk a fine line between sweet and sexy, and you look damn good doing it.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“You could. But you’d be wrong.”

“I also have a tendency of being right,” I smirked, kissing her deeply.

~~~

“Ash!” she said, shaking me awake. “Ash, wake up!”

“What?” I asked, sleepily, rubbing my eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Something’s wrong!” she said, her voice laced with panic.

Suddenly I was wide awake, jumping out of bed and pulling her to her feet. “What’s wrong? What’s going on? It’s too early for labor, isn’t it? Your due date isn’t for another 6 weeks,” I rushed, the words flying out in a panic.

“I know!” she cried, fear written all over her face. “Ash, I’m scared!”

“It’s gonna be okay, baby,” I promised, swallowing my own fear. This had to be okay. It had to.

Everything was a messy blur of tears and whispered promises as I felt my world crumbling around me. It felt like I was watching somebody that looked like me scream at the nurse manning the front desk that something was wrong, then watching as they wheeled her into a room. My weight finally gave and I sank to the ground, sobbing into my hands. Please God, let them be okay, I begged silently.

“Ash? ASHTON!” Calum’s voice called into the fog I was trapped in, and then three pairs of arms were pulling me to my feet, a cup of water pushed into my hands. I couldn’t even remember when or who they had called them. I couldn’t remember anything beyond the sheer terror on her face. The sheer terror of a mother scared for her children. “Easy, mate. We got ya,” Calum said and then I was sitting down. “What happened?”

“I- I dunno…” my voice sounded and everything snapped into focus, the dull ringing and fog finally fading out. “She woke me up. She said something was wrong. And now I’m here.”

“She’s in room 304,” Crystal said and I took in all their faces. Faces that conveyed no emotion except for the storm of panic and worry swirling in their eyes. They were holding it together, like Bridget needed them to. Like I needed to do myself.

I nodded at her words, hastily wiping at my face and downing the small paper cup of water. “Will you guys stay?” I asked, standing up.

“We’re right here, mate,” Calum assured me and they all nodded. “Go be with her. She needs you.”

“Hey, there you are,” her voice said softly, holding out a hand to me when I found myself in the doorway of the hospital room.

I choked back a sob of relief and quickly moved to her. “I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” I promised, placing kissed in her hair.

“Good, because I was really scared.”

“Did they tell you what was going on?”

She nodded. “But, I- I wasn’t really paying attention. Everything was happening so fast, and I- I’m sorry.”

“Shh,” I soothed, catching the tear that slid down her cheek. “It’s alright. You’re safe. That’s what matters.”

“We’re safe,” she corrected, her hands grazing her stomach. “I paid attention to that much.”

“Oh, thank God,” I sighed with relief, feeling the weight lift from my chest.

~~~

“Ugh this sucks!” she screamed in frustration, chucking the remote. She had been on bed rest for a week and was going stir-crazy.

“Well, the baby shower’s later today,” I told her, trying to keep her mind off the fact that she wasn’t allowed to be on her feet for more than an hour every day.

“Well, the baby shower’s later today,” she mocked, angrily.

I let out my breath in a small huff. I knew she was a storm of emotions, but it didn’t make her lashing out at me any easier to take. “I’m gonna go clean up downstairs so the girls have an easier time setting up,” I told her. “Call if you need anything.”

“Wait!” she said, and I stopped in the doorway, turning to look at her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry!”

I smiled softly and moved back across the room, crawling into bed beside her. “It’s okay,” I told her, holding her in my arms. “I know you don’t mean it.”

“It’s not okay! I’m being a bitch!”

I chuckled and held her tighter. “Do you want your baby shower present from me now?”

“You got me a present?”

“Well… sort of…” I said, rubbing at the back of my neck.

“Well, what is it?” she asked, getting excited.

“Sit tight, I’ll be right back,” I said, patting her leg and getting up.

“Ha-ha, really funny, Irwin. Sit tight? Like where the fuck am I gonna go? Mars?”

I chuckled as she ranted, running down the hall to fetch my guitar- reliving briefly the way she had looked back in May when she asked to play it for the first time. “Ready?” I asked, once I was back, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, you’re gonna make me cry? That’s my present? Awesome…”

I gave a small shake of my head and started playing. “I talk to God about you, and I ain’t even met you yet. Everybody’s waiting on you here. I can’t wait to feel your heart beat when I lay you on my chest. I’m already holding back my tears. I wanna be better than my dad was. I hope that I don’t mess this whole thing up,” I sang, altering the lyrics just the slightest.

“Oh, Ash…” she breathed, tears spilling down her face before her voice joined me, both of us gently singing our way through the song. “You really taught yourself to play that?” she asked, wiping at her eyes.

I nodded. “Course I did. You sing it all the time to them. I wanted to be able to do the same.”

“I fuckin love you, Ashton Irwin.”

“I love you too, Bridget Irwin.”

“I’m not your wife yet, mister.”

“We can fix that.”

She laughed. “Let me have these babies, and get back into shape first.”

“Why? You’re already beautiful.”

“Ash, I’m literally not allowed on my feet. I don’t even have a dress.”

“Alright, fine. But, I’m gonna make you my wife, sooner rather than later.”

“You better.”

I sang that song again to her before bed, after she kissed my scars. “Is this part of the ritual now?” I joked. “You kiss my scars, I sing you and them to sleep?”

“You bet your ass it is.”

I grinned, more than happy to comply.

~~~

“Ash!” her voice called from down the hall.

“Be right t- ow! Fuck!” I grumbled, smacking my head on the frame of the crib the guys were helping me assemble. With the baby shower over and done with, we were now getting changing the guest room into a nursery.

“Easy mate,” Calum said, as they all snickered at me.

“Fuck you,” I laughed, dashing out the room and down the hallway. “Whatcha need, baby?”

“Hospital!” she screamed, curled up in the fetal position on the bed. “Ow, ow, OW! STOP THAT!”

“Contractions?” I asked. We still had 3 weeks left until her due date.

“YES! And Connor won’t stop kicking!”

“How do you know it’s Connor?” I giggled, rushing over to help her up.

“The one with the wicked kicks would be Cal’s godkid,” she glared at me.

I shrugged. “Could be Monroe. Kicking you while you’re down? Sounds a lot like what a wild child would do.”

“Sounds like you should respectfully shut the fuck up! Hospital! Now! Please!”

“Up we go,” I said, scooping her up. “Guys, it’s showtime!” I called out as I carried her down the hall and downstairs, hearing the mad scrambling in the bedroom. “Mike, grab her bag. Luke, call everybody. Cal, c’mon, you’re driving us.”

“Ow, ow, OW!”

“Keep breathing, baby. You got this. I’m right here.”

“Ash! I’m not ready!” she told her, her voice panicked.

“Look at me,” I urged. “You can do this. You’re going to be amazing. I’ll be right here with you.”

“No fainting,” she told me.

“No fainting,” I promised.

~~~

“Aw, look at my gorgeous girls,” I smiled softly, watching her hold both Logan and Monroe in her arms.

“Aw, my beautiful boys,” she smiled back at me as I held Connor close.

“Let me know when you get tired,” I told her, seeing the exhaustion on her face.

“But…” she pouted.

“You need to rest,” I said, putting Connor down and coming to get the girls.

“No,” she softly whined. “I wanna hold them forever.”

I chuckled and placed a kiss to her forehead. “I know, baby. I know.”

“God, I could stare at them for hours, you know?” she said, looking longingly at the three bassinets as I set the girls down.

I looked down at the three of them, nodding. I knew exactly what she meant. I would never get tired of this view.

“Knock, knock,” Calum’s voice said, knuckles rapping against the door, Luke and Mike on his heels. “Up for visitors?”

“C’mon in guys,” Bridget smiled, beckoning them. “Did the girls go home?”

“Yeah, they’re making the nursery nice now that we got everything built,” Luke said.

“Thanks guys,” I answered. “Go wash up, and I’ll introduce you to the babies.”

“Oh, they’re so small,” Mike said, his normally loud voice a hushed whisper. “Who’s who?”

“Cal, this is Connor Theodore,” I said, placing the blue bundle in Calum’s waiting arms.

“What’s up, Theo? I’m Uncle Cal,” Calum cooed.

“Luke, this is Logan Rose,” I said, handing Luke the yellow bundle.

“Oh, hey there Lo-Ro,” he grinned.

“And Mike, this is Monroe Grace,” I finished, handing Mike the pink bundle.

“Aw, your pink like my hair used to be Mo-town. Your dad knows us so well.”

“Watch, Theo, Uncle Mikey’s gonna tell your sister how he’s punk rock,” Calum teased.

“I am punk rock, Mo-town, and I’m gonna teach you how to be punk rock, too.”

~~~

“Fuck!” she cursed, her eyelids flying open.

“What?” I asked, instinctively lifting my arm for her to curl up on my chest. “The babies are fine, go back to sleep.”

“No, it’s not the babies,” she said, her hands fluttering in a panic. “God, I’m the worst…”

“What’s wrong?” I chuckled.

“I didn’t kiss you,” she whispered, horrified. “My mind is all over the place lately, and I’m so tired, and I… I can’t believe I forgot. I never forget.”

“Oh,” I said, understanding. Then, “It’s okay, baby. We did the song.”

“No it’s not okay. Give me your arms.”

“Baby, you’re tired. I’m tired. We’re all tired.”

“Give me your arms, Irwin.”

I chuckled again and let her tug my wrists to her lips. “Never forget that I love you. Past, present, future. Every part,” she murmured against my skin.

“Only if you promise to remember the same. Our life together? It’s everything I’ve ever prayed for.”

“Me too,” she smiled up at me and my heart raced. “All those times I prayed for some sort of purpose, some sort of joy to override the pain, it was really you. I was praying for you and this life we’ve built and are continuing to build all my life, and I never even knew it.”

“I love you,” I said, even though those three words were far too simple to ever express how I truly felt towards the woman in my arms.

“I love you, too,” she said with that smile of hers, and I knew she felt what I couldn’t say. That overwhelming, whirlwind, pure fairytale magic that is finding your soulmate. That sense of knowing that every bad day is made better by looking into their eyes, that your best memories will be the ones you make with them. I had gone eight years thinking that the closest I would get to soulmates were my brothers, and I had never been so happy to have been so wrong. She was the piece I never knew I was missing. She was the answer to the prayer I never knew I was praying.

~~~

“Fuck…” I muttered, packing my bags reluctantly.

“What?” she asked.

“I don’t want to go. I’ve always been excited to tour. But this time? I just… fuck!”

She chuckled. “It’s only the summer, Ash.”

“I know, but I don’t want to leave you guys.”

“What if I told you that you didn’t?”

“What?!” I asked, my eyes going wide. “But, I thought…”

“Well, they had their checkup, and they’re doing well. So, I asked. Figured worse Dr. Robbins could say was “no.”

“And she said yes?!”

She nodded. “Since it’s the States, she didn’t see the harm.”

“This is great!” I cheered, packing with more excitement now.

“This is gonna be the most hectic summer vacation I’ve ever had,” she giggled.

“It’s gonna be the best summer vacation we’ve ever had,” I corrected.

“Is it a vacation if you’ll technically be working?”

“Every day with you is a vacation.”

She laughed. “That just might be the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said. And you’re gonna eat those words, Ash. A tour with three two-month olds? Oh, boy, what are we doing?”

“Taking our first family vacation?”

~~~

“No, put it back,” Bridget said, her voice stern, not even looking at whatever Mike had in his hands for his goddaughter. It had become a problem, the men spoiling their godkid as an attempt to prove who was the better godfather. A lousy competition that had no real winner. But it meant Bridget and I hadn’t really had to buy much for the triplets ourselves, so I wasn’t complaining. Even if my house was bursting at the seams with their generosity war.

“C’mon! Babies first tour!” Mike pouted.

“Hey, if he gets to buy something for Monroe, we get to buy stuff, too,” Luke said, crossing his arms, enacting the rule Bridget had put in place when tour started. All purchases for the triplets had to be approved, given that space was limited. Clothes, plushies, and necessities like diapers were the only things being approved thus far, and sparingly so.

“Nobody is buying any of these babies anything,” Bridget said, fighting to keep her voice down in the store because the triplets were asleep in the stroller and hell hath no fury like 3 screaming babies. “We came for ear plugs and diapers. Not clothes and toys.”

“But...” Calum started, holding up a pair of baby Vans that matched the ones on his feet.

“Connor doesn’t even walk!” she hissed.

“But he will!”

“Oh, if Cal’s buying Connor Vans, can I get Lo-Ro these pair of boots?” Luke asked, his blue eyes wide, lower lip jutting down.

“They don’t walk, Lucas!” She stood toe-to-toe with the man who had over a foot in height over her, her brown eyes hard behind her glasses. “Mikey, Monroe hardly has any hair to dye, dude,” she added, still staring the taller blonde down.

“I’m behind you. How did y- How did sh- WITCHCRAFT!” Mike yelled.

The triplets started screaming. Bridget rolled her eyes, glasses pushing up as she pinched the bridge of her nose. A sigh escaped her lips as she bent down over the stroller. “Here,” she said, passing a screaming three month old to the rightful godfather. “You caused this. You soothe. And you!” she said, wheeling around to face me, her index finger poised to stab at my chest.

I held up my hands and took a step back. “What did I do?!”

Her eyes narrowed. “You could be helping.”

“I got the diapers,” I said, holding up the package as proof.

“Thank you,” she said graciously despite the stress etched upon her face as the men struggled to soothe the babies. It seemed like she was constantly stressed these days. I didn’t blame her. First time parenthood to one kid was stressful, but three? Even with the help, it was hard. “Guys really? Rock, sing. Come on, help a woman out. Soothe your godkid, and you can buy them one thing, okay? But only one.”

“Loser gets diaper duty?” Calum grinned.

“You’re on!” the blondes grinned back.

“Oh, I like this idea,” Bridget said in a hushed voice, lifting my arm and placing it over her shoulders as she leaned into me. “Should’ve done this way sooner.”

“You okay?” I asked.

“I’m just tired.”

“I know, baby. I’ll get the guys on baby duty tonight, and we can do something just us, okay?”

“That sounds wonderful, but you know I’m gonna miss my babies, Ash.”

“I know. You’re a great mom, you know that?”

“You’re a great dad. I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.”

~~~

“Do you, Ashton, take Bridget to be your wife?”

“I do,” I smiled at her, looking fucking radiant in that white dress like I’ve been imaging her in since we met. I took her hand and flipped her Claddagh ring around.

“Bridget, do y-“

“Yes!” she interrupted, giggling, her fingers quickly fixing my own ring.

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride in 3… 2… HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

I kissed her. She kissed back. It was time-stopping and earth-shattering. “Happy New Year, my wonderful wife,” I said, my cheeks sore from my smile. 

“Happy New Year, my handsome husband,” she smiled back.

“I can buy you a real wedding band if you want,” I told her, taking her left hand in mine. “Or a real engagement ring. Whatever you want.”

She shook her head. “I don’t need fancy. I just need you and our babies.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Then, she giggled. “We really need to stop one-upping this holiday every year. I think we used all the good ideas.”

I shook my head. “Never. I love our tradition of starting a new year in a new way together.”

“You know, Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. But I think it just got bumped to second place.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

~~~

“Hey Ash?” she asked me after we got the triplets in bed after an exhausting birthday party for our now three year olds. Just where the hell did the time go?

“Yeah?” I asked, collapsing beside her on the bed.

“We need a bigger house.”

“Why? The girls are fine sharing a room, and they guys and I finished cleaning out the music room for Connor.” It wasn’t that we couldn’t afford another house, I just wasn’t one of those types who needed to live extravagantly. I had bought my 3-bedroom home when I moved to LA with the purpose of raising a family one day. 3 bedrooms was more than enough for us.

“Ash,” she said, handing me a wad of toilet paper. “We need a bigger house.”

“What’s this?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“The third test I’ve taken today. The proof that we’re gonna need a bigger house.”

“You’re pregnant?!”

“Yep. And I know, we haven’t talked about it. I thought I was fine with the triplets. But, they’re getting so big. And, then this just happened. Surprise?”

“This is great!” I cheered, pulling her into a hug.

“Really?”

“Yes! Triplets on the first go-round was a little more than I bargained for, so I wasn’t sure if you wanted more. But, God, baby, I’ll have as many kids with you as you want. I love watching you be a mom.”

“I love watching you be a dad,” she smiled up at me. “But, seriously. We need a bigger house.”

“I’ll call the realtor in the morning,” I promised.

“Whoa, I was half-joking,” she laughed. “It could be one, and if it’s a boy, we can just stick him with Connor.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. I will be happy regardless, but just don’t.”

~~~

“Congratulations, looks like triplets again,” the doctor smiled. 

“You’re not gonna faint on me, are you?” Bridget asked me, her voice teasing.

“Nah, I’m good,” I managed to get out through the lump in my throat, my eyes glued to the three blobs on the small screen.

“Ash, stop,” she said, her fingers soft on my arm. “You’re spiraling.”

“I never want to miss another moment,” my voice whispered, feeling all the hurt from missing the first half of her first pregnancy bubbling up inside of me.

“Look at me, Ash,” she coaxed, using the same soft tone she used with the triplets to get them to calm down. When my hazel eyes met her brown ones, she smiled. “You’re being too hard on yourself. You are the best damn man in the world, alright? You love your family and we love you right back.”

“But, I-” I protested.

“Shh, listen to the good voice.”

I nodded, closing my eyes and taking a few slow breaths to steady myself, listening to the voice in my head that was her. It was always her. 

“Now, you’ll need to take it easy,” the doctor was saying when I refocused. 

“Take it easy?” Bridget asked, eyebrows quirking upwards.

“Yes. A woman of your build carrying triplets… given your history…”

“History? The triplets were a week premature. I had them naturally. You can’t possibly be suggesting that this is a high risk pregnancy, can you?” Her tone wasn’t sad or worried. It was angry. Like she was insulted. 

“Mrs. Irwin, I’m simply saying we need to be cautious. We don’t want a repeat of pre-labor scares.”

“I have three three year olds, six classes of high schoolers, a husband, and a band that need me,” she said, her tone sharp. “Taking it easy isn’t something I have the luxury of doing. So, be straight with me, is there a reason to be worried?”

“No. Not at all. You’re healthy. They’re healthy. You’re still young. But we do need to take previous experience into consideration.”

She scoffed, turning to me.

I squeezed her hand, stepping up to be the man she believed I was. “You got us, baby. Tour’s right around the corner. Whatever it takes, whatever you need, you’ll have us by your side at every step.”

“Right, the touring,” the doctor said, knowingly.

“Can she not go?” I asked. If she couldn’t go on tour, I didn’t know what we're going to do because each option seemed worse than the last. I could go and take the triplets with me, but she would fight me- and win because she would cry- because she didn’t want to be away from her babies. She could stay with the triplets, but I would fight because she was supposed to be taking it easy and I didn’t want to be away from her and my babies, and we would both cry and lose that fight. Or, I could not go on tour, pissing off management, fans, and her because “Ashton Fletcher, it’s your job. We’ll be fine,” which would circle back to fighting over the first two options again. 

The doctor smiled. “There’s nothing to worry about. Everybody’s healthy. We’re only 8 weeks in.”

“Then why are you worrying me with this ‘previous experience’ shit?” Bridget sighed. Her glasses pushed up as she pinched her nose. “I’m sorry. You’re the doctor. You’re just making me aware of all the different possibilities. But we’re all healthy?”

“Yes. Everyone is healthy and growing as expected.”

“Then that’s all that matters.”

~~~

“Alright guys, you ready?” Bridget asked excitedly, handing each triplet a cupcake. Her and I already knew the genders: 2 boys, 1 girl- balance. And we were handing each triplet a cupcake of the opposite gender to gauge their reactions. They knew Momma had babies in her tummy. They knew that made everybody excited and Momma extra cranky and tired. They were excited to be big siblings, even helping me sing every night. But right now, the focus was on the sugary sweet in their hands.

“Cupcakes!” they cheered and we giggled at their excitement.

“Whoa, hold on,” I said, hands reaching out to stop them from shoving the desserts in their mouths. “You gotta wait a second.”

“Alright. Irwin triplets revealing Irwin triplets in 3… 2… go!” Bridget said from behind her phone. 

“Blue!” the girls said, excitement in their brown eyes.

“Pink!” Connor shouted, outraged, crossing his arms. “I wanted blue!” came the wail, the lip quiver, and the tears.

“Aw, Connor, it’s okay, Bubba,” Bridget soothed from behind the camera. “It means you’re gonna have another sister!”

“No!” The wail became louder and he kicked his legs, throwing the cupcake. “No sister! Brother!”

“Bubba, you are. Look at sissies and their cupcakes,” I urged. “You’re gonna get 2 brothers!”

Now the girls wailed, realizing what was happening. “No! No brother! Sister!” Two more thrown cupcakes. Three pairs of kicking legs. Three high-pitched wails of despair. 

“Well, that went about as planned,” Bridget shrugged, turning the camera. “Triple the trouble just got crazier.” She ended the video and put her phone in her pocket. “Alright, hey!” she said, making her voice happy for them. “Everybody gets what they want. Connor, you’re getting a brother. Girls, you’re getting a sister. See? No tears. C’mon,” she coaxed. 

“I have an idea!” I said, trying to help. “You guys wanna go see our new home?”

Bridget looked at me, her eyes wide. “What?! We got the house?!” she shrieked, clamping her hand over her mouth in shock. “The one with the basement and the pool?”

I nodded, grinning. She had been picky in our house search. I had wanted a house big enough for everyone to have their own bedroom. She wanted a house small enough to clean herself. And when her eyes light up as we toured the 4-bedroom house with a basement and a pool, I knew I would pay whatever price I had to to get it for her. “Got the keys this morning.”

“Oh, Ash, I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” I said, kissing her.

“Ew!” the triplets giggled.

~~~

“Cal, this is your goddaughter, Teagan Caroline,” I said, handing Calum the purple bundle.

“Welcome to Team Cal,” he smiled down at her. 

“Luke, this is Ryan Lee, your godson,” I said, placing the red bundle in Luke’s arms.

“Check it out, Lo-Ro,” Luke cooed at his goddaughter, crouching to show her Ryan. “Wanna help me paint his nails and find him some boots?”

“Yeah!” she agreed happily. Then, “Unca Lu, new boots, too, please?”

“You can have whatever you want, princess.”

I rolled my eyes, placing the green bundle in Mike’s arms. “Mike, meet Gavin Mitchell.”

“Aw, what’s up, buddy?”

Calum snickered, realizing the naming pattern. “Who named them this time? I see the theme.”

Bridget grinned, proud of herself. “Are you saying that sharing your initials with your godkids isn’t the cutest fuckin shit?”

“It’s pretty fuckin genius, is what it is.”

~~~

“This color!” Logan’s voice yelled.

“No, this one!” Monroe shouted back. 

“It’s my room, too!” Teagan, put in angrily. 

“Daddy!” All three blondes with brown eyes turned to me.

I sighed, rubbing at my face. Painting rooms was going to be a nightmare. “Boys, did you guys pick a color?” I asked with another sigh, ignoring the glares. Just another day with two sets of triplets. 

Three brown haired, hazel-eyed boys, one a head taller than the other two, shook their heads at me. “We all want different colors too, Daddy.”

“Baby?” I asked, my eyes pleading for her for some of that compromising greatness that has weathered every disagreement and tantrum for the last eight years. 

“They have 4 walls,” she shrugged. “Let’s pick a base color for the fourth wall and then they call all paint a wall how they want?”

“That’s a lot of paint that’s gonna go to waste, baby.”

“So, we’ll have a paint war in the basement.”

“Paint war!” the boys grinned.

Hours later, bedroom walls painted, the Great Paint War of 2029 took place in the basement, walls and skin a splattered mosaic rainbow.

~~~

“Happy New Year,” I whispered, pulling her in for a kiss.

“Ew!” six voices giggled. 

“Happy 10 years,” she smiled back, a hand shooing the kids away. “Go bother your godfathers.”

“We’ve been married 8 years,” I corrected. 

“We’ve been together 10 though,” she told me. “Best decade of my life.”

“Best decade of mine,” I answered back. 

She sighed in content, leaning into me. “This is everything I ever prayed for.”

“And you’re not even religious,” I teased. 

“I don’t have to be religious to believe, Ash. If this past decade has taught me anything, it’s that we make our own magic.”

“You just said you prayed for this,” I laughed at her endearing inconsistencies. 

“Just in case,” she smirked. “Didn’t wanna mess this up. Can never be too careful.”

“Thank God for answered prayers.”

“Thank God for all of my wrongs leading me right to you. And that leather vest. Do you still have that by any chance?”

I laughed. “Depends. Do you still have that black dress.”

“See me around later and find out.”

I laughed again, pulling her tight to me. “I love you.”

“Every part?”

“Every part.”

“Me too. You’re my favorite part of everything, Ash.”

“Even your new favorite holiday?”

“Especially my new favorite holiday.” Then, her lips were on mine for my favorite time-stopping, earth-shattering kiss. 

[csichick-2]

I'm semi-plotting a Lashton Mpreg AU in my head that may never end up on paper because I get nervous about sharing RPF.

So in this potential story, shortly after Ashton joins the band, he passes out after a gig and at the hospital they find out that Ash has been physically and sexually abused and also that he's pregnant, which Ashton himself didn't even know yet.  He's also malnourished cuz he was trying to lose the weight he was gaining from his pregnancy because he just thought he was getting fat.  Liz conveniently has a sister that's a social worker who conveniently also happened to be at the gig.  She works her social worker magic and Liz and Andrew get emergency custody of Ashton and his siblings.  Lauren and Harry weren’t abused - Ash took it all and never said anything to keep them safe. Ashton almost has a miscarriage because of the abuse and malnutrition, but the baby's a fighter and pulls through. He considers having an abortion because the pregnancy resulted from rape, but ends up deciding to have the baby. He's nervous that Liz and Andrew will throw him out when he turns 18, but Liz reassures him that they'll never force him to leave, but that if he chooses to, they'll help him find a place of his own and help him out financially until he's able to support himself on his own.

 Ashton's first night home from the hospital, he has a nightmare and Luke - who's room is right across the hall - ends up crawling into bed with Ash and comforting him.  This happens several nights in a row and eventually Luke just stops starting out in his own bed and is all "yeah Ashton and I share a bed now, deal with it."  Andrew thinks it's a bad idea cuz Luke and Ash are 15 and 17, but Liz is all yeah Ashton's already pregnant and Luke can't get pregnant, so let's just roll with it.

 Luke and Ash and Cal and Mikey keep doing their thing with the band and they start getting comments on YouTube asking if Lashton is having a baby cuz Ash has started showing and Luke is always fussing over him.  Luke, Cal, and Mikey do a video without Ash so he’s not forced to talk about it and address the abuse situation as tactfully as they can and leave a link to an article about the trial related to the abuse.

 Ash finds out he’s having a girl and the first time Luke feels her kick, he refers to her as “our baby” and Ashton falls in love with him right then and there.  Luke’s also been reading pregnancy books and has pretty much decided that he’s helping Ashton co-parent this baby whether his parents like it or not.  Liz and Andrew aren’t thrilled cuz Luke’s still only 15, but there’s not a whole lot they can do about at this point.

 I haven’t worked out the details, but Luke manages to convince Ash, Liz, and Andrew that his name should be on the baby’s birth certificate as her second father.  Liz is also in the delivery room when Ash goes into labor - like a week after a gig cuz the band isn’t letting Ash’s pregnancy stop them - but Luke is the one holding Ash’s hand and supporting him through giving birth to Baby Hemmings-Irwin. Ashton names her Lucie after Luke and her middle name is Elizabeth after Liz.  The night they bring Lucie home from the hospital, Luke says that since he and Lucie share a first initial, their next kid’s name has to begin with an A and Ash is all “I literally just gave birth so we’ll talk about that much later.”  A few week’s later, Ash turns 18 and Luke proposes to him and Ash is all WTF because Luke still is only 15, but he says yes cuz they’re stupid in love, but he figures it will be a long engagement until Luke’s 18.  Except in New South Wales, you can get married at 16 with the consent of your parents and the court and Luke’s a persistent bastard and pulls it off, so when the boys - with baby Lucie - head to London for songwriting, Luke & Ashton Hemmings-Irwin are married.  

 Around when it’s announced they’ll be be opening for 1D on the Take Me Home Tour, Luke starts talking to Ash about having a second baby and has already figured out the timing to make sure the baby’s not born until after the tour.  Ashton doesn’t know how to say no to Luke, but says they can only start trying if Cal and Mikey are okay with it in case another pregnancy ends up ruining the band. Mikey's all "wait you mean you're not already pregnant?" cuz he figured they started trying their wedding night.  He and Cal give their blessing and by the end of 2013, their son Avery is born cuz Luke won the A name argument.  Their management throws a hissy when they find out Ash is pregnant and threaten to kick him out of the band and replace them, but Luke, Cal, and Mikey all say they’ll quit if that happens, so management begrudgingly puts up with it. There’s some backlash from fan parents thinking two irresponsible teenagers having a kid is a bad example for their children and Luke is all “Excuse me, my husband and I planned the timing of this out very well thank you very much” on twitter and the internet explodes cuz Lashton are married.  But generally the reaction is positive and the boys have fun with it letting fans guess when the Lashton baby will arrive and the gender.

 Early 2015, they have twin boys who's names begin with C and M cuz they're nerds like that and then have another boy a year later, which is how they have five children before Luke's 20th birthday.  Ashton pops out three more boys in 2017, 2018, and 2019 with no plans of stopping with the babies because Luke desperately wants another girl and Ashton at one point foolishly told Luke that he can get his pregnant as many times as possible up until Ash's 30th birthday and Luke ofc was all "challenge accepted."  Luke's also become an expert at planning pregnancies around their tours so while a few times a show has started late because of Ash’s morning sickness, they've never had to cancel one.

 Ash gets pregnant again right before the World War Joy tour starts, but because I'm evil, he miscarries, which they find out at the first ultrasound when there’s no heartbeat.  And Luke blames himself.  Because if he hadn’t insisted on using every available baby-making opportunity - the largest age gap between kids is the 17 months between Lucie and Avery - and given Ash’s body more time to recover between pregnancies, then maybe they wouldn’t have lost the baby.  And also wonders if maybe it was God’s sign that they’re only meant to have 8 kids. Ashton tries to give Luke some space, but he’s hurt that Luke is withdrawing from him.  Luke confides in Mikey a lot and Ash goes to Cal and both of them are all “dude, I love you, but I’m not your therapist.”

 When the window that would have a kid be born during the gap between the North America and Australia legs of No Shame passes by with Luke making zero effort to actually make a baby, Ashton decides to take matters into his own hands.  So the whole shirtlessness at Fire Fight is totally baiting Luke into wanting to have sex again cuz they haven’t since the miscarriage not even with Ash topping, cuz Luke only tops when they’re trying to conceive.  They’re also asked in an interview if there are any plans for more kids and Ash is a cheeky bastard and says that he fully expects to be pregnant by the end of the year because Luke loves how he looks pregnant.  And Luke is giving him “WTF did you really just say that?” looks.  And then finally have an adult conversation and Ashton tells Luke that the miscarriage wasn’t his fault and that sometimes that shit just happens and dammit they’re going to keep trying until Luke finally gets his second girl.  They start the baby-making process once they know the due date will be past the Australia shows, and Ash knows he’s pregnant with multiples even before the ultrasound because the only previous pregnancy where he had really bad morning sickness was with the twins.  That still doesn’t prepare Luke & Ash for the doctor telling them that heartbeats 1, 2, AND 3 are all nice and strong and Ash immediately turns to Luke and tells him he’s a dead man.  Cal and Mikey were baby-sitting while they were at the doc’s and are all nervous because Cal, Mikey, and Liz are the only ones that know about Ash’s miscarriage.  But all is good and they find out that all three babies are girls and two of them are identical.  Ash does go into labor early after the last Australia show, but they’re able to stop it, but he’s on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy which makes him really crabby. They’d been planning to stay in Australia until the babies were born anyway, their families are able to help out with the rest of the kiddos.  Liz & Andrew Take them for Christmas because Ash doesn’t need that chaos and he ends up going into labor in the middle of the night on Christmas morning. They realize they won’t get to the hospital in time so Luke ends up delivering the first baby in their bedroom but the paramedics get there in time to deliver babies two and three.  During the delivery, Ash informs Luke that he’s going to be getting a vasectomy, but Luke’s not sure if he actually means it given that 20 minutes later he also threatens to castrate Luke with a rusty spoon. They name the babies Soleil, Luna, and Astra - as in sun, moon, and stars.  Mikey’s all wtf you guys are weird and Cal’s all “you’re only just figuring that out now?”

 I haven’t decided yet if they’re done after the triplets or if Ash sticks to his original promise to let Luke knock him up until he’s 30 because they’re already at 11 kids and that’s a lot.  If they do have more they’re going to wait a whole year before even thinking about trying because they’re gonna be more short on sleep than usual because three infants.  Lucie is a mini Ashton in girl form, but the rest of the kids all have Luke’s hair and Ash’s eyes or Ash’s hair and Luke’s eyes.  While the kiddos all know what their daddies do cuz they drag the kids on tour with them and hire tutors instead of sending them to school like normal people, they never push the kids towards learning any instruments.  But Lucie starts banging about on Ash’s drums when she’s five and he starts teaching her and his heart grows about 50 sizes that she’s taking after him and it’s the cutest thing ever.  Haven’t decided what level of musical talent any of the rest of the kiddos have but Luke does make the mistake of leaving one of his guitars out while Avery’s teething and it ends up with tiny tooth marks. He also ends up taking the lip ring out because baby number 5 is a grabber and pulls on it and Luke decides it should go before the kiddo is strong enough to rip it out and cause a lot of damage and pain.  I haven’t done the research on hair dye and pregnancy, but might be losing out on Ash’s hair color evolution.  And his earring because again tiny grabby hands, though it can always appear later once they’re done having babies.

 I might do Malum as a side pairing - I haven’t decided yet. And since Ash is pregnant both times they open for 1D, that might facilitate Larry and/or Ziam coming out but that wouldn’t be a major plot point.

 I did make a Sims save with teenage!5SOS last night to play this out.  I was too lazy to make their families so it’s just Cal, Mikey, Luke, and Ash sharing an apartment and then I used mods to immediately make Ash preggers.  The guy in the next apartment was having loud sex when they were trying to go bed so I sent Ash over to go yell at him since he can blame pregnancy hormones.  This same neighbor also tried to invite himself over to eat their food after Ash made dinner so this guy is going to be one of those neighbors.  I’m trying to avoid using the money cheat as much as I can, but they’ll need a bigger space by the time Avery’s ready to age up to toddler.  I might move them into the swanky penthouse apartment with an indoor basketball court because it’s the only lot where I’ve found a place to put a rock climbing wall where it doesn’t get rained on and break every timer the weather’s wonky. Eventually Cal & Mikey will have to stop living with them but I’ll worry about that when there’s no more room for them.  My mods let me do household sizes up to 25, so that part’s not an issue, it will just be a no more beds problem.  Mods will also help me make sure that the right number and gender of kiddos are born each time.  I’ll just have to force myself to not age up the babies the second they’re born because Sim babies are the world’s biggest pain in the ass.

[cal-puddies]

your kind of heaven ||  pt 2 make out with me || luke hemmings

pt 1. || pt 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || pt. 7 || pt. 8 || pt. 9 || pt. 10

Shawn grins and wraps you in his arms when you arrive. “Hey you’re here! Did you have a chance to check out the condo?” He asks.

“No, I came straight here. I’m feeling inspired.” You grin.

“Ok, awesome. I’m gonna order food and coffee and we can get started in the meantime?” He checks.

“Yeah, Shawn. That’d be great!” You grin, setting your stuff down and pulling out your guitar.

Around week 4 you were enjoying a glass of wine on the balcony from the condo Shawn set you up in. Every song had been about Luke.

You always saw him in everything. The blue in the sky matching the color of his eyes, blankets weren’t as warm when they didn’t smell like him, clothes not as comfy if they didn’t feel like him.

So you pick up the phone, staring at it, and then looking back at the night sky. You decide on it, scroll the contacts and click on Luke’s name.

“Baby?” Luke asks, after only 2 rings.

“Hey handsome.” You let out a sigh. “Sorry to call so late.” You take a sip and look down at the ground. “Just… we were writing and I… I was thinking about you. I miss you.”

“You can call anytime baby, you know that. I miss you too though.” He admits.

“Luke… are we gonna be ok?” You ask, looking back out at the night sky.

“You staring at the sky?” He asks, passing over your question. ‘Mmmhmmm’ you hum. “Red or white?”

“Red.” You say, wondering what he’s getting at.

“I think we’re gonna be good babe. We’re staring at the same sky, drinking the same color wine, thinking about each other.” He says quietly.

“I really miss you.” You whisper.

“I can be there baby.” He whispers back. “I can get on a plane in the morning.”

“Don’t you have a thing.” It wasn’t a question, because you knew. You could access his schedule, you shared a calendar.

“Everything can be moved, babe, that’s not even that important. You though, being there for you… that’s important.” He argues.

“I’d like to see you.” You mention. “If you can?”

He hears the loneliness, it tugs at his heart. It makes him ache too. He missed you, but he was resigned to think that was only him, and to hear it wasn’t, to hear that you wanted him too, you missed him like crazy, he wanted the next flight. Whether it was 15 minutes away or 15 hours.

He knew he was being rash. He couldn’t catch the exact next flight. He’d need to reschedule what he had.

“Yeah baby. What if I come up for the weekend? I could come in… like Thursday night probably?” He asks.

“Really Luke? You’d do that?”

“You know i'd do anything for you, angel.”

“I love you Luke.” You say quietly.

“I love you.” He responds, just as quietly.

And then you guys just sit quietly, on the phone together for a while. At least a good 30 minutes, just listening to each other breathe.

You finish your glass of wine and look at the sky one more time.

“I’m exhausted Luke. I think I’m gonna head to bed. I hope I get to see you this weekend.”

“Have I ever let you down, my love? I’ll see you Thursday.”

You grin and bite your lip. You were ecstatic to see Luke, to let him hold you. “Mmm kay babe, I love you. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, my love.”

You put your wine glass in the sink and cork the bottle of wine you’d opened. You take your rings off to wash your face and brush your teeth. And as your standing there, you stare down at them, and then pick up the engagement ring.

Luke had been strangely giggly that whole day, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. You’d spent the day at home, so it didn’t really matter, but he was touching you whenever he could.

You’d agreed to a mid afternoon nap with him in bed, and you were laying with your head on his chest. He played with your fingers.

“I wanna ask you something.” He'd said.

You looked up at him and smiled, “you can ask me anything, ask away.”

He reached over, pulling the drawer open on the nightstand, and grabbed something, closing it in his large hand, before knocking the drawer closed with the back of his hand.

“I love you.” He rubbed your back with his other hand. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I want you around forever.” He sighed. “And I wanted this to be a big gesture and super romantic, but I’m feeling it today.” He opened his hand, and set the box on his chest.

You sit up on your knees and looked at him a little panicked. “Luke.”

“Marry me?” He asked. You held your hands over your face as you started to cry. “Baby?”

“Yes Luke, of course.” You agreed.

He slipped the ring on your finger and pulled you close to him, kissing you. And it turned into an afternoon of sex, or making love, and a night of giggles and sweet kisses.

You smile to yourself. You missed the early days of you and Luke. You knew, deep down everything was still there, but you just hadn’t put in the effort. Neither of you had.

So Thursday couldn’t come soon enough and Shawn could tell you were a bit distracted. He wasn’t all in on Luke coming to visit, but you reminded him he’d already wanted Friday off.

You were texting Luke, you knew he had to be mid flight, but you couldn’t wait to get him here, to be kissing him, wrapped up in his arms.

You wanted to get him into bed, if you were honest. You always saw eye to eye in bed.

Shawn had different plans, as you waited. He showed up with a bottle of wine. He’d managed to get his shirt off halfway through, and sure, Shawn had a nice body that he worked hard for, but you were more than happy with Luke and his being a little soft around the middle, you loved it actually.

And Luke has some timing because Shawn pulls you in for a kiss as Luke is walking in the door. You push him off. “Shawn, what the…?”

“Uhh, what’s going on in here?” Luke asks, dropping his bag.

“Luke!” You turn and pull out of Shawn’s grip to go to him. Luke happily accepts you in his arms and he holds you a tight. You look up at him, “he kissed me, I swear.”

“I know what I saw babe.” He says quietly, nodding. His hand cups your face and he kisses you hard and deep, lots of tongue and he’s kissing you the loudest he could. “Missed you baby.” He says loudly. “Hi Shawn. Thanks for having Friday off. But I think we’re gonna want some alone time.” He holds onto you tightly.  

Shawn rolls his eyes but pulls his shirt back on and he leaves.

“I’m really happy to see you Luke. I’ve been thinking about you so much lately.” You mumble against his chest.

“Our house feels so empty without you.” He pouts. “I’ve missed you, I miss you next to me. When you called the other night… I can’t tell you how much I needed that.”

You push yourself against Luke’s chest and hold him tight. “I need you Luke.” You whisper.

He kisses the top of your head, “hasn’t felt that way.” He whispers.

“I know. Same could be said for you.” You mention.

“I know.” He agrees. “I love you…. now come make out with me, and I’ll love on you in the morning.” He coaxes, pulling you to the couch.

Luke is all smiles in the morning. Even with you riding him, all smiles and giggles around the moans. His fingers don’t grip as tightly as they had been, and it didn’t seem to be just about the sex like it’d become, it was about being close, as close to you as physically possible.

“Come here, I’m gonna cum.” Luke says quietly, pulling you down to kiss him.

The entire weekend went like that, hands on, sweet kisses, hand holding; all over the city, pap pictures, fan pictures, bottles of wine on the terrace, naked nights, morning sex, afternoon sex that flowed into naps, sex before bed that turned into cuddles and sweet talk.

You actually cried when Luke had to leave. You felt so close to him and you didn’t want him to go, but he needed to get back to the new album and you understood that.

“Love you baby.” He whispers into the top of your head, standing at the door.

“Love you Luke. Just a couple more weeks.” You mumble into his chest.

“Then come home to me, and we’ll keep working on this.” He pulls away enough to kiss you deep. “I gotta go.” He groans, squeezing you tight and kissing you one last time.

Shawn made the next few days stressful, he wanted to talk about Luke’s visit and he insisted on reminding you of all the things you’d complained to him about on wine nights or over dinner or drinks over the last couple years.

He liked to bring up the times you thought Luke was being clingy, or that he always put his music first, or the guys. That he never quit talking about having kids.

But looking back, Luke was just trying to be supportive and show you he cared, and of course he put music first, so did you and that was understood when you got together. And he’s always been straight with you about wanting kids. So you couldn’t fault him.

Ultimately, you were ready to go home. And once you were done, you left early.

You expect Luke to be gone, it’s not even noon when you arrive home, oddly Ms. P was gone, and it didn’t look like Luke had even slept at home.

You don’t think much more of it, he probably crashed at one of the guys, sometimes he did that even when you were home. So, you do some laundry and watch TV, take a nap. There wasn’t much in the way of food in the house so you end up at the grocery store, though inevitably you’ll order in.

You’re in the liquor section picking up more wine, it seemed like Luke had burned through quite a bit when you were gone, which was unusual, it wasn’t usually his drink of choice. But, you run into Cal.

“Hey you.” Cal says, standing at the other end of the cart.

“Hey Cal.” You smile. He comes over and hugs you. “How’re you? How’s the album coming?”

“Oh, we haven’t really started it.” He gives you a weird, but surprised look, he’s surprised you don’t know this. “Luke and Ash have both been working on some other things. Luke’s outta town with Sierra right now, they’re writing together for her new album. I thought you knew that…”

Taglist: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @september09241994 @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood @slimthicccal @softboycal @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @therealmrshale

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

[tangledup-andtwisted]

Locked In a Haze

Leather Part 3

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! I know you guys have been waiting a really long time for this, and I’m sorry for the wait. It’s pretty long, it’s almost nine pages in docs. ANyways - I hope you guys love it!

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), dirty talk

Part 1   Part 2   Part 4  Part 5

If you thought your relationship with Luke was strained before, it was now hanging by a thread. You thought you were saving yourself the argument by leaving that morning. Apparently, that was the wrong move, the usually fiery frontman was cold and aloof with you, brushing past you like you didn't exist. He no longer sought you out with insults or jabs. He just ignored you completely.

You were confused by his actions, but you were more confused by how affected you were by them. You had, wrongly, thought that Luke leaving you alone for the rest of the tour was what you wanted, but you find yourself missing his dark humour and disarmingly boyish smile.

At first, you were worried Luke would say something about that night to the guys, specifically Michael. If Michael found out you slept with Luke you’d never live it down. That played a huge part in you leaving before Luke, and the rest of the band woke up. The awkward ride from the hotel was bad enough, you didn’t want to imagine the aftermath of Michael finding you in bed with Luke. You replayed the morning over in your head wondering if there was anything you could have done differently.

                                                  ~ ~ ~

You and the boys were all on your way to breakfast and you were exhausted from the night before.  You mostly just kept quiet, Michael knows you really well and you were worried you’d do or say something that would make him suspicious. For some reason though, all the guys seemed focused on and slightly annoyed with Luke. At first, you were confused, but then Calum opened his mouth.

“Busy night last night, eh Lukey?” Calum smirked over at the frontman. From where you were huddled against Mike in the back of the van you could see Luke’s shoulders immediately tense. You held your breath waiting to hear his response, but he didn’t say anything, he simply shrugged his shoulders. You’d hoped that’d be the end of it, but it wasn’t.

“Aw, c’mon Luke, we all heard it,” Michael added from beside you. You groaned internally wishing he would shut up.  Ashton and Calum began moaning Luke’s name in high pitched voices, causing you to hide your face in Michael’s side so none of the guys would notice the shade of cherry your face had become.

“We’re just wondering where you found the time for a hookup, seeing as none of us went out last night,” continued Calum. You peeked over at Luke, wondering briefly why he hadn’t thrown you to the wolves yet.

“Had a couple drinks at the hotel bar,” he lied smoothly, “didn’t know I’d be interrogated about it later,” he said, eyeing Calum as he put his headphones in, effectively ending the conversation.

“You okay, Y/N?” Michael asked you.

“I uh - yeah? Why?” you managed to string together the words.

“Dunno, you just seemed kinda uncomfortable, I guess?” he gives you a strange look.

“I just don’t love hearing about Luke’s sex life this early in the morning, or you know at all,” you sniped back, hoping he’d leave it at that, and luckily he did.

                                                    ~ ~ ~

A loud noise from behind you shook you out of your reverie, one of the newer crew members had dropped some equipment he had been carrying around. He started to quickly gather up the things he dropped, a blush staining his face, you smiled kindly at him to hopefully put him at ease.

Tonight was the last show before a week-long break in LA, you wouldn’t have to see Luke for an entire 6 days. The only break in your respite being a friend’s birthday party Michael had asked you to attend with him in fear of running into his ex. You’d agreed, of course, knowing it would make Michael more comfortable if you were there for moral support.

You were excited for the break from touring, not only to escape the awkwardness any kind of interaction with Luke but also to sleep in your own bed for a little while. Well, not your own bed. You were staying at Michael’s place while you were in LA because you couldn't live there full time, it just wasn't your scene. You preferred your calmer, regular city life. He’d been trying to talk you into getting a small apartment for visits but to no avail.

The show went by pretty fast, the guys were amazing as usual, and the fans were overjoyed. You were just exhausted. You barely remember the ride back to the hotel. When morning came you were more than ready to get on the plane back to LA.

Once you landed you and Mike headed straight back to his house to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Michael had a couple days of rehearsal and some writing for the next album, but for the most part, you two stayed inside gaming and binging Netflix. Ashton came by a couple times, once with Calum in tow, hoping to drag you and Michael out on a hike or to a yoga class. While his efforts were in vain, you appreciate him checking in on you guys, and encouraging you to be healthier, even if he was unsuccessful. The majority of the week went by quicker than you’d like, and the birthday party was right around the corner.

When the night of the party finally came around you were nervous. You had spent a solid 5 days trying to forget Luke even existed, to no avail. In between episodes of Brooklyn 99 and your next takeout order, you'd find your mind drifting to those striking blue eyes. If Michael had noticed your daydreaming he hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t that you had a crush on Luke, no definitely not. He was just gorgeous and apparently amazing in bed. It’s not like you had started to actually like him, he was still an arrogant prick. Sleeping with him hadn’t changed that, if anything it had made it more apparent. You just didn’t know how you or your body would react seeing Luke again, especially since he’d be all dressed up and looking more gorgeous than usual, damn him.

Your party attire consisted of a very short and shimmery dress, you didn’t go out partying very often but you loved getting dressed up. By the time you and Michael show up to the party the other three boys are at least two rounds in. Ash and Calum are in the middle of a large group of people, socializing. Ashton seems to be telling a story. At first, you don’t spot Luke, not that you’re looking for him. After a few minutes you spot him talking to some girls you recognized as Instagram ‘influencers’. You roll your eyes and gesture to Mike that you’re gonna grab you guys some drinks from the bar. You’d only have one or two drinks, you’d decided because you’re not overly fond of being drunk. Once you make your way back to Michael he asks if it’s okay for him to go mingle. You tell him to go ahead, though admittedly you’re a bit annoyed that he dragged you to this party where you know no one but the boys and crew, just to ditch you. But you had only come to ensure his comfort and if he feels fine, then you can relax. Your plan was to hang out in the shadows, avoiding unwanted small talk. Or that had been your plan until you felt a body pressed up against yours.

“Hey, doll. I’m surprised you’re here” Luke whispers in your ear. You immediately tense. “Aww, play nice kitten, I’m just teasing,” he smirks at you, brushing his hand across the exposed part of your back making you shiver, before making his way back into the crowd, leaving you confused. Not just because he’s being openly flirty, but also because he hadn’t talked to you in almost two weeks. You need another drink, you decide, trying to get through the dancing bodies, to the bar.  Just as you went to hand the bartender money for your overpriced drink she simply shakes her head, gesturing to a man standing at the end of the bar. You weren’t certain how you were supposed to react, you definitely weren’t looking for a hookup, other than your confusing situation with Luke you generally tried to avoid one night stands. You’d never really been in this situation before because you don’t really go out drinking. You figured you should at least say thank you, so you walked over to where the man was standing. A smile immediately overtook his face, but it faded slightly when you merely said thank you for the drink. He tried to engage you in conversation and you tried to remain polite.

Somehow you two ended up on the dance floor, even though you hate dancing. You didn’t really know how to say no, and you were really uncomfortable. Once the first song was over and you were hoping you could go back to hiding on the sidelines, but the crowd of writhing bodies made it impossible for you to leave. You tried to tell the man you were dancing with that you wanted to sit down, but he claimed he couldn't hear you and dragged you farther onto the dance floor, drinks in hand. You didn’t know that your discomfort was so outwardly obvious until you felt a familiar presence.

“Hey, man, mind if I cut in?” you hear Luke’s voice over the bass-heavy music. You don’t hear the other guy’s response, but his demeanour changes immediately, getting more and more aggressive. You couldn’t quite make out Luke’s response, but the man clearly did not like what Luke had to say, because he sent his drink hurling through the air, drenching Luke. You could feel the anger radiating off of his body, you were worried that he was going to do something stupid, but he simply called a member of security over and had the aggressive guy removed. You turn, planning on thanking him for saving you, but you’re met with an empty space, and you see Luke’s towering frame making its way to the bathrooms. You quickly follow the path he made through the crowd and slip inside the large one person bathroom.

“Is there a reason you’re following me into the bathroom?” you’re met with steely blue eyes, connected to a very shirtless Luke. His shirt sitting by the sink, where he’d probably been rinsing the alcohol out of it.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping me,” you murmur, feeling shy all of a sudden. You lean back against the closed door, trying to distance yourself from his harsh gaze.

“Couldn’t do that after I finish cleaning myself up, doll?” He starts getting closer, crowding you against the door, and you’re having flashbacks to backstage and leather pants. “Or did you follow me in here hoping I’d fuck you again, hmm?” You shiver at his words, but you try to cover it up by tensing your entire body.

“No, no that’s not––” your words die in your throat when one of Luke’s hands lands on your waist.

“Are you here to show me just how thankful you can be?” he smirks down at you, running his thumb over your lower lip. And just like, as if the spell he had over you had been broken, you glare up at him.

“You’re such jerk, honestly Luke,” you try to move away from him, but you’re stuck where you are, pressed between the door and his naked chest.

“Oh, I see, you’re gonna run away again,” his eyes flash at you, seemingly annoyed. At first, you’re confused, but then it dawns on you.

“I’m sorry, did you want me to stay for a morning cuddle and breakfast in bed?” you scoff at him. The atmosphere in the small room changes quickly,  hostility replacing Luke’s flirty tone.

“You didn’t have to leave in the middle of the night like… like––”

“Like a one night stand? Because that’s exactly what it was Luke, we aren’t together. Don’t get confused. We fucked, it happened, but it's nothing more than––” your heated rant is cut off by his aggressive kiss. You should have been surprised, but you weren’t. You should have pushed him away but you didn’t. You couldn’t help but surrender to him. You could taste the tequila he’d been drenched in earlier. And you know you’re gonna regret this come morning, but sex with Luke was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. It was raw and angry and honestly the best sex you’d ever had. You can feel his hands back at your hips pulling your body to his. You loved feeling his huge hands on your smaller frame, it made you feel powerless, in a good way. His tongue invades your mouth, taking what he wants. You hear the lock of the door click, as Luke pulls away to look at you.

“If you don’t want me to fuck you again, you need to tell me now,” he looks down at you, with a steady gaze, waiting for you to push him away. But you don’t, you grab his hands in yours and place them back on your hips. His passive face morphs into a cocky smirk, causing you to roll your eyes exasperated. He doesn’t make some snarky remark as you’d expect, he simply reattaches his lips to yours and his hands wander around to grab your ass, making you moan against his mouth. He tears his mouth from yours, nipping and sucking his way down your neck.

“Luke,” you groan out when his teeth scrape against a particularly sensitive spot near your collarbone.

“I love it when you say my name doll, but you’re gonna get us caught,” he hums against your skin. Suddenly your feet are no longer touching the ground, you’re suspended against the wall, held up only by Luke’s hands and a singular strong thigh. You wrap your legs around him, trying to stabilize yourself. Luke’s attack on your neck doesn’t falter, and you feel your head fall back against the door in pleasure. His hands slide slowly up your torso, slowly flicking your dress’ spaghetti straps off your shoulders, and tugging the upper half of your dress down to your waist. “No bra, kitten? It’s like you were expecting this,” he almost hisses the words.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you”.  You want to tell him he already has but you don’t. His lips find their way to your breasts kissing and sucking the soft flesh. Pure want thrums through your body. When he reaches your nipple he starts sucking gently at first, but then you feel his teeth sinking into the sensitive peak, causing a shiver to run up your spine. You can feel desire deep in your belly, making your insides clench. Luke is suddenly carrying you, carefully setting you on the counter next to the sink. You give him a questioning look, the abrupt change of location thinning the fog in your head. “Didn’t wanna drop you,” he shrugs, “and I want to finally get a taste”.

“What? Luke, we don’t exactly have a lot of time,” you worry your bottom lip.

“We’ve got all the time in the world, kitten,” you open your mouth to protest, but he beats you to it, “you’ve gotten on your knees for me twice already,” he reminds you falling to his knees and kissing up your thighs slowly. “Let me return the favour”. His warm hands rub up your thighs, slowly pushing the hem of your very short dress up past your hips. He then removes your underwear, with his teeth, making you giggle a bit.

He merely raises an eyebrow at you, you just shrug at him in reply, and he grabs your legs again, spreading your legs for him and pulling you closer to the edge of the counter. “Try not to scream too loud, doll,” he smirks at you with a quick pinch to your nipple, before lowering his head between your thighs.

“Can you stop being a twat for even fi ––” your words are cut off with a soft noise from your throat. He’s got one hand holding your legs open, while the other one is pulling the skin taut, giving him better access to your clit. Which he’s currently suckling on, hard.

He pulls away briefly,” Sorry what was that, doll?” He doesn’t give you time to catch your breath or formulate an answer before he’s diving back in, lapping at your folds. You can only let out a sigh and a tiny groan as his tongue works its way inside of you. He uses the hand above his head to press down on your clit, while his tongue fucks in and out of you. His thumb starts making slow circular motions teasing your small bundle of nerves.

Of course, he would be astoundingly good at this, because Luke Hemmings can’t be bad at anything, especially not at sex, you thought, slightly bitter, but mostly thankful. It had only been a couple minutes and you were already panting, your body twitching in pleasure. His focus moves back to your clit, his tongue flicking it rapidly over and over again.

“Luke,” you moan out, dragging out the word. It seems to be the only word your brain is able to form. And you feel his warm chuckle against your heat.

“Shhh, doll,” he says, stopping his ministrations to look up at you. “What would Michael think if he found you in here, dress bunched up around your waist,” he runs his finger through your folds, “ with my head between your legs, moaning like a whore for me, hmm?” He again doesn’t give you time to answer him before his mouth is back on you. But he certainly painted a picture in your head. Part of you is mortified by the thought of Michael seeing you like this, but the other part of you is so far gone that you’re not sure if you would even ask Luke to stop if it did happen. Your thoughts are cut short when, well you’re not even certain what he did, but it felt amazing. His tongue glides down your folds back to your hole, teasing the rim over and over. His fingers are back at your clit plucking the sensitive skin. Your legs start to shake as Luke slips his tongue back inside and he takes notice. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and somehow you can see his smirk even though his tongue is still inside of you. You’re close, and he knows it, the glint in his eyes makes it obvious. But you don’t care because you’re cumming, with a breathless moan of Luke’s name. He works you through the tremors, laving your sensitive core after you’d slumped back against the cold counter. He pulls you up, pressing your bare chest to his.

“Am I that good?” His signature cocky smirk, gracing his face. You roll your eyes, scoffing. You stretch up and nibble lightly at his puffy bottom lip.

“Thought you were gonna ruin me, rockstar?” You tease him, hoping he’d make good on his promise. You feel the growl in his chest before you hear it.

“So demanding, kitten,” you thought you hated it when he talks to you like that, but your body seemed to disagree. “Need me that bad, huh?” he chuckles a bit but reaches for his belt buckle. He’s got his pants down past his knees and is about to pull down his boxers when he stops.

“Luke?” you raise an eyebrow at him.

He looks sheepish, “I, uh –– I don’t have a condom,” you’d expect the venue’s bathroom to have a dispenser, but no, you guess they’re too classy for that. You groan and shake your head, he goes to pull his pants back on, but you stop him.

“It’s fine, I have an IUD. We don’t need one,” you tell him, yanking his boxers off. He doesn’t waste any time after that, his hands wrap around your hips, dragging you to meet him. He slips inside of you easily and starts a harsh pace that you remember well. His hands pull your body to meet his every thrust, leaving you quaking with pleasure. He was always so rough with you and you couldn’t get enough. You wrap your legs around his torso looking for a better angle.  

“Always so desperate for me, baby,” he grunts out, running one of his hands through your hair. His grip tightens close to your scalp, as you try to keep up with his brutal pace. He yanks your hair harshly, making you gasp in pain. “You’ll let me do anything to you, won’t you doll?” His words make you hot, half with anger, half with arousal. You simply nod your head because you know it’s true.  You know you’re just feeding Luke’s ego, but he makes you feel like no one else can, and you’re always hungry for more. You feel the edge of the cold counter digging into your ass, but you don’t care enough to say anything. His lips are back against your neck, leaving more marks you’ll have to hide from Michael.

“You wouldn’t let anyone else fuck you like this,” he says breathlessly, you shake your head, but he wasn’t asking, “in the bathroom of some club? No. Mike’s always on about how you don’t like fucking around,” he takes a moment to catch his breath, his hips never faltering.

“But you’re gonna let me cum inside your sweet little cunt aren’t you doll?” his dirty words make your core flutter around him.

“Please,” there's not much else you can say. You try to work through the haze in your mind, but Luke is the only thing you can focus on.

“Yeah? You want me to fill you up?” You can only nod rapidly at him, arms tightening around his neck. Luke chuckles darkly at you, “M’gonna make you mine doll”.  With these words, his hips speed up to a pace you didn’t know was possible, and the large bathroom is filled with the sound of his skin against yours and your uh uh uhs. One of Luke’s hands wanders from its place on your hips to tweak at your clit again, bringing you deliciously close to the edge. Your body starts to tense and you open your mouth to tell Luke but all you can manage to get out is the breathy repetition of his name. All it takes to push you over is a light pinch of your clit. Your eyes squeeze shut and you let out a very loud groan, as you tense around his dick. You let your nails scrape down his bare chest, leaving thin red lines behind. He sets you back down and uses his hands to brace himself against the counter, pace increasing once again. His lips find yours one final time, as he lets his orgasm take over. When it’s over, he detaches your lips from his but presses his forehead to yours, just looking in your eyes as he catches his breath.

“Fuck. Why are you so irresistible?” you assume it’s a rhetorical question, so you don’t reply, you just trace shapes on his back with your nails. He’s kind of nice to be around after he’s cum, you think to yourself. “Alright doll, let’s get the fuck out of here before someone finds us,” he moves back from you and starts to redress, you squirm a bit at the feeling of his cum starting to drip from your spent hole. He makes a tsking noise, using his fingers to push the liquid back inside of you, and picks your panties off the floor, handing them to you. You slip them on and jump from the counter, trying to fix your dress.

“I want you to spend the rest of the night feeling me drip out of you, reminding you of what we did,” he whispers in your ear, sending chills through your body. You look in the mirror trying to sort out the disaster that is your hair. After a couple of minutes, you give up, deciding that this is as good as it’s going to get. You make your way over to the bathroom door, planning on leaving when Luke stops you.

“Wait, before you go,” he says while buttoning up his still damp dress shirt, “I have a proposition”.

people who asked to be tagged:  @wamweisha ,  @drummerboy794  @dontstopxx

[bxcketbarnes]

The Planning - Part Two // Mini Wedding Series

Gif credit goes to @tothemoonmikey :)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin/Reader

Words: 4223

Author’s Note: Heyyyy! It’s finally here, guys! It’s taken me so goddamn long to write this and I’m sorry it’s so long. I got a little out of hand. I hope you all like it and look out for the third part of The Planning! xoxo

I plop onto Ash and I’s bed, letting out a small breath of relief, glad to finally be home. Ashton’s footsteps became louder as he steps into the bedroom.

“It's so good to finally be home,” Ash breathes, setting my bag and his suitcase down by the dresser before laying down next to me.

I nod my head, humming in reply as I scoot closer to him, resting my head against his chest. “It is. I don't know how you guys go on tour for so long,” I tell him, dipping my fingers under his t-shirt, dragging my fingernails up and down his torso.

“It can get a bit tiring after a while, but the fans keep us going. I also have a countdown to when I'd see you again,” he confesses and I glance up at him, seeing a light blush on his cheeks.

A small laugh leaves my lips, scooting up a bit to press a kiss to his lips. “I love you so much, Ashton. I honestly don't know what I'd be doing right now if you weren't in my life. You support me on everything. I just… you're incredible,” I tell him as his fingers toy with mine.

He grins, pressing a short kiss to my forehead. “You're literally my world, Y/N. I will support you for both good and bad decisions you make,” Ash states and I slap his arm playfully, “hey! We both know you made some bad decisions in the past ten years,” he laughs, wrapping an arm over my shoulders.

I nod, laughing as I lean my head against his. “Okay, I have but so have you, mister!”

“Maybe those bad decisions made us realize how good we are together,” Ashton smiles before removing his arm, getting off the bed to grab his laptop. I cross my legs, fiddling with the blanket as Ash sat back down beside me. “So, did you want to get married here in California or somewhere else?”

I chew my bottom lip for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. “Will you be upset if I said no?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.

Ashton furrows his brows, shaking his head lightly. “No, of course not. Can I take a guess as to why you don't?” He questions and I nod my head for him to continue. “You think paparazzi will find out and manage to get into the venue and ruin our day.”

I couldn't help but scoff a bit, shaking my head. “Wow you're good at this game,” I chuckle a bit before biting my lip again, resting my hand on his chest. “But, yeah. I just want my rockstar of a man to myself for a day and not share him with the media,” I smirk and Ash rolls his eyes.

“I'm not a rockstar, babe.”

“Oh, I highly disagree,” I cut him off, placing a finger to his pink lips. “You are such an amazing drummer. Every show my eyes always gravitate to you behind your drum kit, smashing them drums like there's no tomorrow.”

Ashton smiles down at me, feeling his lips curl up against my finger. “Jesus, you're adorable.”

I shrug, grinning ear to ear as I lean up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I like to think so.”

-

Thanksgiving…

Ashton and I pull into my grandparent's driveway in Topsfield, Massachusetts. I grab Ash’s 5SOS III hoodie from the backseat, throwing it over my head as I let out a brrr noise. “Well, I should've known better that it’d be cold here,” I laugh as Ashton turns the rental car off, laughing a bit.

“I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so,” he laughs and I punch his arm lightly, getting out of the car.

“Shut up! You were the one who was supposed to check the weather,” I exclaim while grabbing our bags from the trunk as Ashton grabs the desserts we bought on the way here.

The two of us step up to the cute house, knocking on the door a few times before heading in. My mom walked around the corner, her lips forming a large smile. “Ma! Y/N and Ashton are here,” she calls out into the kitchen as I smile, setting the bags near the stairs before making my way towards her.

Grandma L/N walks over to the three of us, grinning widely as she opened her arms. “My sweet child. It's so good to see you,” she gave me a hug before moving to Ash. “Ashton, sweetheart! How are you?!”

The hazel-eyed man smiles, hugging my grandmother. “It's good to see you too, Anne-”

“Please. You can call me grandma,” she smiles softly as did I, happy about how they treat him as part of the family. “So, can I see the ring?”

I chuckle, nodding my head as I stuck my hand out in front of me. Ashton places a small kiss on my shoulder before heading toward the kitchen to drop off the deserts.

“When's the wedding?” My aunt Claire asks as we sit on the sofa in the living room.

“It's gonna be October 19, 2019. Next year,” I tell them, grinning as I fiddled with the ring. “I can't wait to marry my best friend,” I mumble, glancing towards Ashton who was chatting with my uncles and step-father.

My mom pats my knee, smiling at me. “I'm so happy you found someone who makes you really happy. It's a plus that he's a childhood friend,” she informs me and I nod my head, feeling my heart flutter.

The guys made their way to the living room, sitting down beside their spouses and Ashton sits down beside me. His arm drapes over the back of the couch, slender fingers brushing against my clothed shoulder.

“Have you two figured out where the wedding is going to be held?” My stepfather asks and I let out an awkward chuckle before shaking my head no.

I look up to Ash, grinning a bit. “I guess we should do all that stuff soon, huh?” I laugh as he nods his head, scratching his scruffy chin.

“I think I want it close to home,” I mumble, glancing towards my grandmother. “Do they have any wedding venues here in Topsfield?” I ask, feeling Ashton remove his hand from behind me before lacing our fingers together.

She looks to be in thought and I take out my phone, making a note to look into it later on. “There might be. I'm not too sure, sweetie.”

-

Christmas

I woke up to Ashton’s lips on my neck, his fingers gently kneading into my hips. I let out a soft groan before turning over to face him.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he mumbles, pecking my lips and I grin, stretching a bit.

“Merry Christmas, Ash,” I whisper while shifting a little, pressing a short kiss in return.

He shifts away from me, grabbing an envelope and I raise my eyebrows in curiosity. “I got you something and can’t wait to give it to you with all the other gifts,” Ashton tells me and I give him a look.

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” I playfully scold while taking the envelope from his hands.

“And you don't need to buy me things, yet did you?” He asks and I press my lips together before nodding, a giggle escaping my lips. “Exactly. Now open it!”

I let out a yawn while opening the envelope, pulling out a check made for two thousand dollars. My lips part, snapping my head towards Ash as he had a stupid grin on his pink lips. “W-What is this for?!” I ask, flabbergast by the amount.

Ashton didn't answer right away, just staring down at me before pressing a short kiss to my cheek. “It's for your wedding dress, beautiful. I crunched up the numbers a few weeks ago and decided that'd be a good amount,” he while his fingers tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Baby, I don't need this much for a dress,” I try to explain but he cuts me off by placing a finger to my lips.

“This is our wedding, lovely. If you happen to find a dress that you fall in love with and you happen to think it's too expensive... don't. I know you won't use the entire two grand, but I'm giving you the option too.”

-

New Years

Ashton and I were hosting this year's New Years party and we just finished setting up… two hours before said party. Honestly, we got a bit carried away on our kitchen island earlier… it's clean now don't worry. I wrap an arm around Ash’s waist as the two of us admired our decorated house, seeing the table of buzzers, hats, and glasses. “We did good, Irwin,” I tell him, patting his back as he nods his head.

“Yeah, we did.”

It was about half an hour to midnight and all our friends were hanging out in our backyard, drinks in hands. My eyes drift towards Ash as he was conversing with Luke. A grin came to my lips as I noticed how happy he always looks when with his friends.

“Hey, Mrs. Irwin,” Calum’s voice chimes and I turn my head to face him.

I roll my eyes, my fingers fumbling with the engagement ring as I let out a chuckle. “Technically I'm still Ms. L/N,” I laugh, grinning ear to ear.

“Yeah, well, close enough. Have you guys planned anything yet?” He asks, taking a sip of his drink. I shake my head, turning back towards Ashton to see his eyes on us. “You should probably get a move on. The wedding is in ten months.”

“I know, I know. Well, you guys are taking a small break from the tour so Ash and I will finally be able to sit down and figure it out. Don't worry, Cal!” I pat his shoulder, giving him a small smile before heading towards Ash who's now standing alone.

The cute hazel-eyed man gave me a grin as he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me into his body. “Hi, baby. What were you two talkin’ bout?”

I chuckle, knowing Ashton’s feeling good at the moment as I rest a hand on his chest, threading my fingers through his exposed chest hair. “Wedding stuff. He called me Mrs. Irwin,” I smirk, my other hand traveling up his back before combing my fingers through his hair.

“Mm. Mrs. Irwin. I can't wait to officially call you that,” Ashton hums, his fingers trailing under my shirt. “I can't wait to marry you. I'm so glad you walked into my life, Y/N.”

My cheeks blush, feeling my heart flutter in my chest as I saw the passion and love in his beautiful eyes. I could hear our friends counting down as the ball dropped on the television in the living room, the sounds of it flowing outside. “I love you so much, Mr. Irwin,” I whisper, the hand on his chest moving up to his shoulder.

3…

2… “I love you too, soon to be Mrs. Irwin.”

1… “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone shouts as Ash dips his head down, capturing his lips with mine. I stand on my toes, gripping his hair gently as I return the kiss, his hand cupping my cheek softly.

-

I click on the YouTube app on our smart TV as I sit down on our couch, computer in hand. Markiplier’s video of Welcome to the Game began to play, chuckling at his goofiness as I turn on my laptop.

The Kleinfeld's website began to fill my computer screen as I aimlessly began looking at their dresses. I tap against my chin before combing my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh.

“Look at you, babe. My gaming nerd has claimed the TV,” Ashton jokes, pressing a kiss to the back of my head, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Whatcha doin’? Oh,” he drags out upon seeing the website.

I lean my head back, looking up at the handsome drummer. “I'm trying to decide if I wanna go to Kleinfeld's or somewhere else. I love what they have, but I don't know how far they are from Grams. Plus, if I want my girls to go they'd have to get plane tickets and-,”

“Hey, breathe,” Ashton started, Markiplier’s voice fading out a bit as my fianceé sat down beside me. “I'm sure the girls will do anything in their power to go with you. It's your big day and last I heard from the guys, they're pretty excited. Don't stress yourself out, alright? Go to Kleinfelds, find the perfect dress for our wedding. I love anything and everything on you, so I'm gonna love it either way.”

I take a deep, nodding my head as Ash wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his chest, taking in his scent. Vanilla, my favorite. “I seriously love you. I know I say it all the time, but you are my rock and I couldn't ask for anyone better,” I mumble into his chest, feeling his large hand rub up and down my upper back.

Ashton presses a kiss to my forehead, humming quietly as he kept rubbing my back. “I love you, Y/N.”

-

Steff, Mariah, Payton, and I walk into Kleinfeld's together. My eyes widen a bit, taking in the beauty of the place. “Wow. It's more gorgeous than it looks on television,” I mumble while my fingers tangle together, feeling the nerves begin.

The four of us step up to the front counter and I give the girl behind it a small smile. “Hi! Do you have an appointment?” She asks, grinning widely and I nod my head.

“Yeah, um, my name's Y/N L/N,” I provide her and she nods her head, typing it up on the computer before returning her gaze to me.

“Alright, Y/N. If you guys could just sit over there,” she motioned towards the waiting area and the girls already made their way to the couches, “someone will be with you shortly.”

I smile softly, fiddling with the engagement ring. ���Thank you so much,” I tell her. I walk towards the girls, seeing each of them looking at the wedding dresses across the room. “I can't believe we're here,” I mumble to them, my eyes looking all around the place.

Steff’s lips moved to say something when my phone rings loudly. I widen my eyes, quickly pulling it out of my purse seeing Ashton’s name and picture on the screen. I mouth sorry to her before answering it, pressing the device to my ear.

“Hey, Ash,” I answer as a smile came to my lips.

“Hey, baby girl. Are you there, yet?” He asks and I nod my head.

“Yeah, we're just waiting for a consultant to come get us,” I say, crossing my ankles. “Did you have fun with the guys last night?” I ask, leaning back in my chair before looking to my friends, seeing them making lovey-dovey faces at me. I chuckle, rolling my eyes.

“I did. We got a couple drinks at the bar near Cal’s place then we all came back here to play Fortnite,” Ashton laughs and I join in.

“Michael force you guys to play or?” I ask, twirling my hair around my finger, gaining Steff’s attention at the sound of her boyfriend's name.

“What about Mikey?” She asks and I wave my hand, motioning that I’d tell her after.

“Eh, no. Honestly, he and Luke played while Calum and I watched. So, you're gonna show me what dress you get, right?” He questions and I scoff, combing my fingers through my hair.

“Did you really think that'd work or?” I laugh, sitting up before resting my elbows on my knees. “You know it's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding, silly,” I tell him before letting out a small sigh, the smile dropping from my lips.

“What's wrong?”

“I just… honestly, I'm pretty nervous that I'm not gonna find one that I'll love,” I confess, the girls beside me frowning as Mariah rubs my back reassuringly.

“Baby, keep an open mind when trying them on. Don't let the girls tell you what you look good in. Trust your heart and gut, okay?” Ashton tells me and I smile softly.

“Okay, I will. Thanks, handsome.”

A tall brunette walks over to us, a smile on her lips as she holds a clipboard. “Which one of us is the bride?” She asks and I quickly raise my hand.

“Hey, babe. I gotta go. I'll call you later,” I tell him, gathering my things before standing up.

“Alright. I love you. Have fun.”

“I love you, too,” I mumble before hanging up the phone, tossing it into my purse. “Sorry about that.”

The consultant shakes her head, leading us towards a couch and a small chair beside it. Seeing Yes to the Dress enough times, I sit down in the chair as my girls sit on the couch. “That's quite alright. So, what's your name and who did you bring?”

“Well, I'm Y/N and I brought my maid of honor, Mariah, and my two bridesmaids Steff and Payton,” I introduce, grinning as I set my hands back in my lap.

“Nice to meet you guys,” she comments, shaking each of our hands before standing next to me once again. “Well I'm Nicole and I'll be your consultant for the day. What's your budget?” Nicole asks me.

“Uh, two thousand,” I tell her.

She nods her head before looking towards my girlfriends. “Is there anything specific you guys would like to see her in?” Nicole asks them and they shake their head, small smiles on their faces. “Okay! Y/N, if you could follow me we’ll get you into a dressing room!”

I fiddle with my ring as I stand up, glancing back towards the girls mouthing wish me luck as I follow Nicole towards the back. We pass some other brides in dresses, making small comments in my head on how beautiful they look.

“So,” Nicole begins as we get into the room and I sit down on the chair, “what's your fianceé like?” She asks while grinning, clasping her hands together.

I let out a small laugh, my heart fluttering as I comb my fingers through my hair. “Oh man, where do I start? Well, his name is Ashton. We're childhood friends. I had part ways from him after he left the country to start his band and we had run into each other again at a concert me and a few friends went too. Even though we hadn't seen each other in about two years he looked the same except his hair was curlier. Anyway, in 2014 he asked me out for the first time and I said yes since I've basically been in love with him since we were preteens. Six years later we're still together, going strong and getting married.” I finish explaining, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“That is so adorable! I'm so happy for you two. Do you have a venue yet?” She asks and I shake my head.

“Unfortunately, no. Work’s been a hassle for the both of us, but I know I want it in Massachusetts,” I tell her, crossing my legs.

“Massachusetts is a beautiful place. When's your wedding day?”

“October 19th,” I smile, getting a bit anxious at how close it's getting.

Nicole claps her hands together, looking down at her clipboard. “Alright, well we should get started! Is there a certain style of dress you love the most?”

“Ball Gown,” I answer immediately. “And I'm not afraid of having a bit of color in my dress. I find the white and blush dresses to be gorgeous.”

The consultant nods, getting up from her chair before opening the door. “Okay! I'll be right back with a few dresses.”

-

I walk out to the main room where my friends were sitting, clutching the skirt of the dress in my hands. “Guys, I cannot believe I'm in a wedding dress right now,” I laugh, stepping up onto the small circle-like stage. I smooth over the fabric as Nicole lays out the train.

It was a pretty dress. Sweetheart neckline, a beaded bodice that stopped at my waist before flowing out to be a simple plain skirt. I press my lips together, looking at myself in the mirror.

“What are you thinking?” Nicole asks, a hand on her hips as she looks up at me.

I let out a small sigh, continuing to rub my hands over the fabric. “It's a pretty dress, but I'm just not feeling it, you know?” I glance down at her and she nods, telling me to turn around to show the girls.

I carefully maneuver myself, not wanting to tear the dress as I face my friends. “What do you girls think?”

Steff shakes her head first as the other three follow, giving me apologetic smiles.

“I think it's too simple,” Payton mentions and I nod, kind of agreeing with her.

“Alright! Onto the next!” Nicole mentions, helping me off the stage before heading back towards the dressing room.

-

Three dresses later and we still haven't found one that I'm completely in love with. I sit in the dressing room as Nicole went out to find some more. I bite my nails while bouncing my leg rapidly, getting a bit nervous. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when the door opens, Nicole and Randy coming into the room with large smiles on their faces.

“So, I've brought a friend with me,” Nicole grins.

“Hi, beautiful!” Randy calls out, setting the two dresses on the hooks as I stand up. “Do any of these catch your eye?”

I look over the dresses, seeing a couple blush ones in the mix as my eyes were drawn to one of them. A smile came to my lips as I pointed to the one on the far left. “This one! It's so gorgeous,” I mumble and Nicole nods, grabbing it off the hook as Randy steps out while wishing us luck.

After getting into it, feeling her clip up the back as I ran my hands over the tool skirt. “It's so gorgeous, oh my god,” I tell her, feeling good about this one.

“Yeah?! Wanna show everyone?” She asks and I nod. The two of us step out of the room, making our way back toward where my girls are sitting.

As soon as they see me they began to whoop and holler. I blush a bit, stepping onto the pedestal before Nicole lays out the large poofy skirt. “Honestly I love this dress,” I tell everyone, seeing Randy standing beside my consultant through the mirror. I could see the tears in my friend's eyes as I begin to shake my head. “No! Don't cry ’cause then I'll start crying.”

“Can I add some finishing touches?” Randy asks, stepping up to me with a veil in his hands. I nod my head, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. Tears well up in my eyes as he finishes, stepping away while I look at myself in the mirror.

“Oh my god,” I mutter, sniffling a bit as a couple tears slip from my eyes. “I'm getting married to the love of my life.” I cry, laughing a bit as I wipe the tears away. I turn to face my friends, Randy and Nicole helping with the skirt.

Mariah wipes her face, a large smile on her lips. “You look beautiful, Y/N. Ashton doesn't know what's gonna hit him,” she giggles as well as the other girls.

“So, Y/N?” Nicole grabs my attention, grinning ear to ear.

“Are you saying yes to the dress?” Both she and Randy ask and I keep quiet for a moment before I nod my head.

“I'm saying yes to this dress!” I excitingly call out, bouncing a bit.

-

The three girls were down in the hotel restaurant, waiting for me as I pace in my our hotel room while my phone was pressed to my ear.

“Hello?!” Ashton answers sounding a bit out of breath and I chuckle quietly.

“Hey, handsome,” I smile, sitting down on the edge of mine and Payton’s bed.

“Oh, hey you. How did everything go?” He asks, hearing the smile in his voice and I twirl my hair around my finger.

I lay back, letting out a huff of breath. “It went well. We had gone through like four dresses before I found the one. Tears were shed,” I tell him, laughing a bit and Ashton’s gorgeous giggle came through the phone.

“Man, I bet you looked beautiful though,” he mentions and butterflies soar through my stomach.

“I can't wait for you to see on our wedding day. I love you so much and I can't wait to marry you,” I mumble, the tears building up again.

“I love you, too. Sometimes I can't believe I get to marry the love of my life,” Ashton comments and I nod my head even though he can't see me.

“I feel the same way, baby. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always…”

-

Taglist: @gotta-try-something-new @twilightparker @ashs-cheergirl @dashlilymark @lukeskisses @morningfears @h0tsos @kinglyhood @crownedbyluke @thebookamongmen @shower-me-with-roses