#the therapist in s10: she doesn't need a friend she needs a father etc etc

[shallowseeker]

do you think sam was on claire's side when she wanted to risk her life being a werewolf because of him wishing dean hadn't saved him (at least not the way dean ended up saving him) in season 9? (i've been reading takes on the scene where dean says claire doesn't get a vote, likely out of fear of losing her, but other people say it's because he's controlling of his loved ones, and while i think dean is Wrong to say claire doesn't get a vote, i don't think he's being intentionally malicious when he says it, and i wished to hear your thoughts). sorry if this is a weird question.

I think this is a difference in parenting style.

Dean is more of a natural parent here, taking charge and laying down the law when Claire's safety is at stake. Sam, on the other hand, is oddly light with huge issues like the werewolf cure, but annoying pushy about smaller things, like pushing for Claire to "tell Mom now."

Dean is less rigid about Claire's chosen personal boundaries with Jody but much more direct when it comes to big safety concerns and suffering. This contrast really highlights how Sam’s style can be a bit funny—he doesn’t always seem like a parent but more like a mentor, focused on rules and guidance.

Meanwhile, Dean and Cas act instinctually with her, feeling around and finding their footing quickly, acting to lay down the law when Claire's safety is involved.

Sam, in comparison, sometimes comes off like a tattletale, overly concerned with the details rather than the immediate danger. I had a very long (I'm sorry it's so long!) thing about this here:

It's so funny because while Sam is willing to let Claire make life-or-death decisions about werewolf cure, he's still pushing on the "tell Mom now" front. And while Dean is a little rigidly protective over the "this cure will probably kill you and cause you unimaginable suffering front," he's less rigid on this interpersonal one:

This is one of the things I yell about for Sam, and why/how a season 16 could be so important to me re: Sam's parenting journey.

I favor Sam's core dilemma being safety vs. autonomy, and it's one of the reasons I want Dean II to be John Winchester-Sam-balls-to-the-wall-nutcase-hybrid to the power of 20,000 so Sam can get a taste of his own medicine.

EDIT: I will add that Dean has come a long way with his instinct towards parenting. With Sam, it was "then at least he dies human!" With Claire, many years later, his first thought is that he'd rather have her as a monster than potentially suffering/dying for a cure.