#the stories i got from kids being dicks to me are all hilarious because they're bad at being dicks

[normal-internet-user]

Sooooooooooooo~~~ I've got more DC brainworms. I have come to share. 🤲🏼

Picture this, wildflower. *throws arm around your shoulder, gestures to the empty space in front of us, envisioning* A young (eventual) bat!sibbie reader who has a very similar essence to Jason.

and I mean....... literally. a mini Jason. lmaooo listenlistenlisten — yn is a scrappy, free-spirited orphan who comes from the slums of Gotham; they've been here a while, only giving a noncommittal shrug and wry smile when inquired about any of it. same story for a lot of us 'round here.

—and wouldn't it just be hilarious if they came into the Batfam the same way Jase did? By STEALING 👏🏼 HUBCAPS. 👏🏼

except it don't gotta be hubcaps, yn is a ✨professional✨ and a 🔥savage🔥 and just straight up carjacked the Batmobile LMALAOAOAOO (they earn Jason's utmost respect right off the bat [BAT PUN 🦇]; Steph, Dick, and Duke are the runner-ups). Bruce probably gains a new neck vein but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued!

thennnnn you muck up when you give the slightest inclination that you know his secret identity bcz it'd be significantly more terrifying (read: hilarious) than if you were to fall victim to the cliche 'i saw something i wasn't supposed to and now I'm being taken hostage by these randos in masks and oh holy smokes it's actually multi-billionaire airhead himbo Bruce Wayne!? and his KIDS!!??'

time skip because seamless transition, bing bada boom, they're Bruce's newest ward and filling the tabloids. while it may be a hot story that the entirety of the paparazzi froth at the mouths at, it's a different story behind the scenes.

reader has a sweet, dear personality at the core, but they put up a detached front; if anything, their crude humor and witty deadpan sarcasm attests to their harsh emotional walls put up.

it's nothing personal to these guys, they're just... constantly in self-perservation mode. they ain't never had nobody like this before, 'cept for their fellow street rat friends who're like family.....

I imagine those walls get worn down by Jason the most.

I also imagine Jason would be.... angry?? not at you!! never at you — if anything he'd probably steal you away from Bruce every chance he gets because he's scared you'll be readily thrusted into an unwitting role as a cowl-donner — but at Bruce's initial and seemingly impulsive decision to take you in- because of just how fast everything moved. he was a bit withdrawn at first, but he became undeniably protective over you as time went on.

you appreciate this earnestly; one day on your outings with Jason, he passes by the streets where you usually hung out with your friends. sure enough, they're all there, looking horrendously forlorn. you give out the group whistle- one you all made up and agreed on a longgggg time ago- and they all look at you like you're a ghost before you're being yanked into a group hug.

some of 'em are mad tho; they all caught wind, ever since you were printed in black and white on the newspapers lil' jimmy still brought to them fresh every morning. thought you ditched us for daddy warbucks. and some of 'em are genuinely happy, not only to see you, but had been for you. thought you managed to finally get outta this hellhole. we knew you wouldn't forget us, tho.

you're smart, yvette - your bestest friend ever since elementary - murmured as she hugged you so tight you could barely breathe. you're smart and warm and so kind... i'mma miss your candy apple self not being around me 24/7 any more, but heavens above, you made it, ynnie any foster parent would be blessed to have you as a kid, y'hear? anybody and everybody. she pulls you back and rests her forehead on yours, staring into your eyes with her tear-filled ones. don't forget 'bout us, yeah? we still got your back. stay safe and take care of yourself.

and if you silently cried on the way back to the manor, Jason didn't say much about it. just wrapped an arm around your shoulders and took you for burgers.

—i feel that incident would settle you deeper into Jason's heart. he just sees so much of himself in you. in this scrappy kid who puts up such a carefree front, but is actually made of honey and caramel at their center. who has such a strong emotional intelligence at that age that Jason's sure is the only difference between him and you. in this child, who has a pure heart full of love with so much to give and just wants to be loved in return.

reader's softest with Cass and Alfred, as in they feel no need to put up pretenses with them. it's how they both find out that you're perpetually jaded and reminiscent of a long-suffering lamb: soft, tolerant, brokenhearted, shreds of innocence swirling about their heart still, maybe a little lost......

SPEAKING OF THE GRANDLER HIMSELF 🌹🎉: you get roped into baking with Alfred one day, and because Alfred is the actual MVP, you fall into his affections too.

it's when you're kneading at dough when a crestfallen expression suddenly overtakes your expression.

"mr. alfred," you drawl, inner city accent thickening with the melting of your posture. there's a heaviness to your tone that wasn't there before. it catches the elderly man's attention immediately. "you remind me a lot of my old man. not my father, but there was this elderly gentleman who took care of us street urchins. old man peaches. cuz every time we saw him, he sold us fresh peaches from his little milk carton in trade for some colorful bottle caps. dunno where he got 'em, said he grew them out the cracks in the concrete, the geezer. he was always talkin' like that — like there was some deeper meaning to everythin'. we groaned all the time, made all in good fun of him right to his face, but we all really loved it.

"one day, me 'n yvette were scouting 73rd and maryanne avenue; it's the curve that has all those connectin' alleyways that hide the abandoned warehouses, y'know? it's also where we hid out with peaches. had a small space heater and brought anything we needed from the foster care buildin'. sometimes we'd get dragged back but you keep doing something enough times, them folks who don't get paid enough for it just stop givin' a hoot... so long s'we made it back for inspections and didn't pilfer the good stuff, y'know?

"anyway. we went in there hollerin' for mr. peaches... he was usually napping by the space heater or stringing bottle cap jewelry for us, but he wasn't there. searched the whole warehouse, whole perimeter, nothing.

"then, vettie found him... " you pause, a smile that didn't reach your eyes spreading your cheeks. "right by the compost bin outside the back door of that same warehouse, chest not movin' and lips stained with blueberries."

alfred feels his stomach drop, beside himself. you looked up from the dough in your hands and simply regarded the old man, an uncharacteristic nonchalance marring your features.

"he was the only one that really understood and looked out for us the way he did. i ain't been able to eat peaches or anything of the like since then, but vettie is the one who couldn't sleep for the weeks after."

Alfie had long stopped chopping the onions for the dish at this point and all he could think was what has this poor child gone through?

TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA TR

anywaaaaayzzzuh, I'm exhausted BUT yeah I just want to infect you lovingly with the brainworms of Jason bonding with a bat sibling reader who's a lot like him, and how he'd prevent a lot of pain that they ain't gotta go through because he went through the same.

And the things that he CAN'T prevent, because everyone deals with trauma differently, he's always gonna be there for you. And he wants you to know that.

reader is a bit wary of Dick because of his pure bubbliness and aura of flowers 🌸🌺🌻🌹🌷🌼💐and shooting stars — in Gotham?? — but Dick has an affinity to troubled kids and also . he's Dick Grayson, everybody loves him .

so he works together with Jason and soon enough, you're practically his respective child akshdjdhd

you and dami take a bit to come along BUTTTTT I hc that you come into their lives when Dami's a little older and therefore more matured.

I love Damian, I feel he'd be a pretty solid older brother figure.

the more time you spend there, the more you begin to trust your newfound family. (well, your pseudo siblings at least); the more you let your walls down, the more they get a peek into your true self- not just the distant exterior you put up.

you're thoughtful and generous; you like books and animals and know how to make ice cream from scratch with ice and plastic bags; you're resourceful and crafty - you learned how to hot wire cars and pick locks from the older kids down at the foster care home - but you don't try to give anyone headaches for it out of respect for Alfred, you claim solemnly.

you're a good kid.

it just takes a bit more for people to say that, and even more for you to let others see it.

I'LL BE BACK WITH MORE BUT PLEASE NOTE THAT I WROTE THIS THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, CONTINUALLY PASSED OUT, AND IT'S THE FRICKIN MORNING ALREADY LMAOAOAOAOAOOO

OH MY GOD.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

ZEEP.

ZEEP WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME-

I just- Can I just-

If Brucie EVER tried to but reader in a cape Jason would lose his MIND.

How DARE you even THINK about putting the baby at risk? How dare you?

Totally just takes reader and brings them to his apartment until Bruce apologizes for even suggesting such a proposterous thing.

He's eventually forgiven but he's on thin ice okay?

Sleepovers at Jason's are also a very common thing.

Since he lives in the Narrows, it gives you the chance to roam your old stomping grounds and see your friends.

Poor reader has to go to all kinds of fancy dinner parties now.

Public appearences.

Such a drag.

Uncomfy clothes, and uncomfy people.

So, being the feral little street raised shit they are, reader says the most out of pocket freaky crap ever.

"Yeah, living in the Narrows as a kid was hard. Especially after the accident."

"Oh, yeah. I love my new home. The velociraptor in the backyard is a sweetheart."

"What do you mean Jason's supposed to be dead? He obviously got better. I've done it more than once. Yes I've died before. They said I can't tell you what comes after. Who's they? Don't worry about it."

And literally no one can say anything because their new dad is one of the richest men on Earth.

Also their first fancy gala something definitly went wrong.

Like lets says it gets targeted for some kind of robbery 'cus, ya know Gotham. And it's full of rich people.

Reader is literally like, "Fuck no. Get the hell out."

Grabs a bottle of champagne and breaks it over the ring leaders head with a loud shout of "ANARCHY!"

ALFIE AND OLD MAN PEACHES-

OH MY GOD I'M CRYING. I HOPE YOU KNOW I'M IN TEARS-

Also, the little punk stealing the CAR is hilarious. So much potential there.

Dick *interrupting Bruce for the upteenth time*: "Hey, B?"

Bruce *Severly annoyed*: "Yes, Nightwing? What is it?"

Dick: "Who's driving the car?"

*Que Jason wheezing over the comms*.

Dickie gives all kinds of nicknames.

Little wing, hoodlum, baby bird-

Him and Jason compete for your time.

Like there is an underground betting pool for who can get you to spend more time with whom.

Jason shows you all hid hidey places around the manor if you ever need a place to just- be

Tim helps with homework when Jason's not around (which isn't very often, Jason makes a point of visitiing often just to see you)

It makes for wonderful bonding with your busiest brother.

Damian, (though he will never admit it out loud), enjoys it when you join him in taking care of his animals.

Batcow and Jerry love you, and Alfred the cat has taken to sleeping in your room.

The two of you take Titus and Ace for walks, and Damian very smugly rubs it in Jason's face when a tabloid photo pops up of the two of you in matching sweaters and sunglasses.

"Clearly I am the superior brother, Todd. Even the media agrees."

"Well then I know it's bullshit because the media says it's true."

"Tt."

I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN INTO STEPH AND DUKE AND CASS AND BABS UGGHHH

THERE'S OTHER STUFF I wanna ADD BUT I'VE MADE YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH I'M SO SORRY-

[spidernuggets]

I legit beg of thee please can you do prompt17. "Why the fuck did you have to make me fall in love with you" but like he's infected with some toxin from a mission and is genuinely angry at reader for making him fall in love with her, but like they're not together she's just his oblivious best friend and this is how you find out he's in love with you. I just find this hilarious cuz reader being overjoyed like oh shit he loves me but also like hey dude calm down lol Its also a tinge angsty cuz he's tiny self esteem thinks you could never love him back and thats why he's mad

Jason Todd x Reader

"Why the fuck did you have to make me fall in love with you"

You love Jason Todd. And for a long while, you believed it was a platonic type of friendship. Because you loved the way he laughed, his smile, his combat skills, his snarky remarks.

And then an oh shit hit you harder than a bomb. Not only did you love Jason Todd, but you were in love with him.

You joined the Titans a couple of months or so after he officially did. He offered you a brew the first time you met, and you politely declined but thanked him for the offer. This is where Jason immediately took interest in you.

When him, you, Rachel, and Gar were doing that blindfold sparring thay Dick recommended, he was even more intrigued at your skill level, but you weren't as skilled as he was, and ultimately lost the sparring match.

You were mesmerised by his advanced ability, asking him if he could teach you some tricks.

Boy, did this boost his ego.

And then the two of you became best friends. You guys trained together, played video games together, and listened to music together. Sometimes, he'd read lines from his favourite novels to you, ranting how dumb one character was or how stragetic another was.

Eventually, Jason took you to the school that he took refuge in during the time he was living on the streets. He told you his story before he got adopted, telling you his mom was a drug addict, his dad was abusive.

You listened, and you comforted him.

Then he told you how he admired the other kids for performing on stage. That's when he became so passionate for literature.

You joked with him, saying that you couldn't believe his biggest secret was being a theatre nerd. He quickly answered back that they were called 'thespians'.

That's probably the exact time you fell in love. Even after all the pain and neglet he's been put through, he still managed to become the strongest person you've ever met.

When you thanked him for showing you his school, that you appreciated how much he trusts you, you swore you saw a glimmer in his eye, even when he tells you it was no big deal.

Jason means so much to you. That's why you'd never tell him you love him. You think you'd break into a million shattered pieces if he left you because of your devoted but selfish feelings towards him. So you kept your feelings tucked away at the back of your heart, concealed from him.

Jason means so much to you that when he arrived back from what yoh heard was a dangerous mission, you instantly ran up to him, pulling him in a tight embrace, mumbling that you thought you lost him.

And it broke you when his response to your worry was a harsh shove.

He didn't say anything and walked straight to his room. He looked horrible. There was a bruise forming around his eye, dried blood under his nose, dark bags under his eyes and a busted lip.

You quickly turned to Dick, who just came in, confused at Jason's glum behaviour.

"Crane ambushed out of nowhere. Cooked up a new toxin. Anger. We gave Jason the antidote for fear toxin, but it doesn't do much. It should wear off after a couple of hours," Dick tries to assure you, but to no avail.

You pace around your room, biting your nails in worry. You look at the clock, and only 15 minutes have passed, and at this point, you feel like pulling your hair out from how stressed you were.

Jason slammed his door so hard when he went into his room that you felt like it could've broke.

Jason hasn't stepped a foot out in those past 15 minutes, and though you might think it hasn't even been that long yet, you couldn't help but stress and worry for your best friend.

So, you went out of your room, heading straight to his, knocking on the door waiting for an answer.

A depressed looking Jason opened the door slightly, and before you can say anything, he slams it shut.

You wanted to cry. He's never done this before. When he has issues, he always talks to you about them. You think that the anger toxin might've been the reason, but still. You aren't taking a toxin for bullshit, so you let yourself into his room, locking the door behind you to ensure no interruptions.

"Jason, what the hell happened? Talk to me!" You pleaded, trying to take both his hands in yours for comfort. In response, he swiftly pulls away from your touch.

"It's none of your goddamn business! Leave me the fuck alone," he says. He doesn't yell at you, but he sounds annoyed. He turns and walks towards his vinyls, pretending to sort them out, but just meaninglessly flipping through them.

"No, it is my goddamn business because you're my best friend! Why are you even pissed at me? It's not like you have a reason to!" you answer back.

"Says fucking who?" He spits as his voice slightly raises. You didn't want it to, but it slightly scares you. Jason has never acted like this towards you before. And if he is pissed at you for something, what was it?

Stealing the last pudding cup? Accidentally dropping his last beer? Winning the last sparring match against him?

"Okay, tough guy, what the fuck did I do to make you so pissed off!" You yelled back.

"For being so fucking annoying!"

What?

He thought you were annoying? Did he not like being friends with you? Did he regret being friends with you? You guess you are a bit too clongy at times. Or maybe you just talk too much.

Possible reasons start flooding your mind. The one person you loved and was your best friend was so angry at you because you were annoying.

"What?" Was all you can say, and it was heard as a tiny, pathetic squeak in your voice.

"You! You wanna know why I'm so angry?? Because you're so goddamn annoying! The way you smiled so brightly when you beat me in sparring, the way your nose scrunches up when you decipher a code wrong, the way you keep notes on everyone's birthdays on your calendar, the way you compliment me when I'm training you! All of it! It pisses me the fuck off!" He yells. You swear you can see tears at the brim of his eyes. "And the most annoying thing is how perfect you are! You- You're so beautiful and so skilled, and you deserve so much! And I can't give you what you deserve!"

But you stand confused. What the hell was he on about?

Jason rubs his forhead in frustration.

"Why the fuck did you have to make me fall in love with you," he says, way more quietly in contrast to his rant. But his voice breaks. And a single tear falls from his eye.

You couldn't believe what he had just told you. He loves you? He's... in love with you??

You were about to smile and admit your reciprocating feelings, but to Jason, your confused look on your face was disgust towards his undying emotions.

He wipes his cheek, face scrunching up, and his anger rises once more.

"No. No, no. I don't- I can't do this right now. You can kick me to the curb later, just- just get out!" He starts yelling again, stepping towards you, pointing to the door.

You attempt to calm him down, but he continues his string of get outs and leave me alones.

You didn't even notice that he unlocked the door and pushed you out before slamming the door in your face once more. You wanted to feel happy that he felt the same towards you. But he just looked so... hurt.

You decided you shouldn't continue to push. You knew he'd come talk to you later once he calmed down, so you go back into your room, waiting for his arrival.

It was late. Last time you checked your phone, it was 2:37am. You don't know how long it's been since then. Jason still hasn't come to see you.

You had your headphones on, writing notes in your journal for future training sessions and abstract plans for upcoming missions that may help Dick during debriefings.

You didn't hear the light knocks on your door, but saw a figure from your peripheral view walking towards you. When you look up, you see a dejected Jason Todd now in front of you.

He sits down on the edge of you bed as you quickly removed your headphones, storing away your jojrnal, ready to listen to him.

Jason couldn't look at you. "I'm sorry," he says. He thinks it's pathetic. Confessing his feelings because of some stupid toxin. Now he has to apologise, and he pressumes after this, you'd look at your friendship differently.

"It was selfish of me to tell you that I... That I lov-" He was quickly interrupted by you. You crawled along the bed to him, kneeling beside him, taking his chin to move his face so you can see those gorgeous green eyes you always adored. They were red and glassy. For the past few hours, he had been crying, even after the toxin had decreased. But you lay your lips ever so gently on his, and he couldn't believe what you were doing.

It took him a second to respond, but he happily kissed back, reaching forward, wanting more as you pulled away.

"You have no idea how much I love you, Jay," you say, barely above a whisper. His eyes widen.

"What? What, but I.." he sat there speechless. Was this real? Or was this the after effects of the toxin? "But.. But I've been dropping so many hints that I was so interested in you and... and you just seemed to have ignored it all," he quietly says. He thinks he whimpering like a kicked puppy.

"Literally, what hints?" You ask, dumbfounded.

"Are you serious? I've- I've called you babe multiple times, hinted at a date, gave you a flower," he lists the many times he had shown a liking to you. "I offered to teach you some combat skills- I keep those skills sacred, I've never taught anyone! Even Gar was yelling at me because I wouldn't teach him!" Jason says unbelievably.

Your hmfave heats up with embarrassment. "Well.. I never really said that observational skills were my strong suit," you weakly say, looking down, avoiding his gaze. And Jason couldn't helo but laugh a bit. He just found you so cute.

He takes hold of your waist, and you squeal as he shifts you so you're sitting on his lap.

"So.. You love me?" He asks, a cheeky grin on his face.

You roll your eyes and scoff. "God, you and your ego," you mutter, holding his face in your hands as you and him share one last kiss for the night.

[cer-rata]

Fav batfam ships?

See, making that plural was a mistake, dear Anon, because now I have an excuse to list one for every member I care about and also explain myself--

In no particular order:

Bruce and Talia: Partially because I am god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier and can ignore anything racist and OOC in all of her depictions over the last 20 years. I honestly think it's hilarious how disgustingly horny they are for each other and how absolutely stupid they get when left alone together. 10/10 so funny I could die, let them be dumb together as a treat.

Dick and Koriand'r: Listen. It's basic. They have problems, they've always had problems, but when the story and editorial direction allows for it they make each other so happy. Two traumatized kids from across the stars that find a moment of safety with each other? I am a simple man, it compels me.

Kate and Renee: I'm a sucker for disaster lesbians. I am. They are the avatars of lesbian disaterism and honestly good for them, keep making Aphrodite wildly upset with how hard you both can fumble a baddie, laddies.

Stephanie and Cassandra: It's popular for a reason! They are so wildly different while being weirdly similar! They care about each other in ways that are so genuine and raw, but aren't always helpful to the other party! Visually they look like a classic emo/sunshine ship, but if you investigate even a little bit it's quickly obvious that their dynamic is much weirder and more interesting. See also: the above disaster lesbians (wlw specifically here but the sentiment stands) thing.

Barbara and...Kara(?): ...This is my badly substantiated rarepair that also relies on a reality where Kara wasn't aged down. I just...it is one of the two variations of Superbat that compels me, and it purely comes down to the intensity of their personalities, the emotional weight they both carry, their intense understanding of loss and duty, and the fact that as Oracle and Supergirl they manage to have similarly heavy responsibilities on their shoulders.

Damian and Jon: The other variation of Superbat that compels me. Look. They've never got to have any consistent, wholesome, appropriate or healthy close relationships with any other viable options first off, so this isn't hard. Second, their arcs are literally designed to compliment each other, and the groundwork for that was laid out for sooo many issues. It's the opposite of Babs and Kara where there is actually so much content to be compelled by that it circles back to being painful again. Now, to be clear, I have no interest in anything happening with them unless and until they are allowed to be adults, mostly because I think those character arcs need come to completion before anything more than being best buds happens. Also, as god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier, the volcano didn't happen, Jon is going age normally and get to go to high school, they're going to fix it okay, there's a space whale--

Tim and Jason are in a weird "Y shaped" poly situation with a hairy bear named "Intensive Mental Health Care": No I will not be elaborating further.

Duke and ???: I love Duke. I have not been compelled by a ship for him yet. I know Tom King tried to make him and Gotham Girl a thing but...who wants that? I even like Gotham Girl enough to write for her, but WHO WANTS THAT!?

Anyone else I really haven't thought enough about to include...however....

HONORABLE MENTIONS THAT I DON'T WANT BUT SOMEHOW COMPEL ME:

Bruce and Minhkhoa: So funny, almost a parody of Bruce in a MLM ship, painfully comedic, Khoa is a disaster of a man and the most down bad creature on earth, beating even Talia on the obsession angle. Never let them prosper, never let them get it together, let me feast on this crack made canon.

Bruce and Selina: I DO like me some batcat, but I'm really more interested in Selina getting to be her own thing nowadays. Escape the bat-love interest curse girl, maybe go kiss an amazon or something.

Kon and Cassandra: Don't want this, but I am truly taken by the fact that was even a thing that was considered for 30 seconds. Insane. Insane pairing. Batshit. Kind of endearing? But please never again.

Barbara and Dinah: Listen 90's BoP (and often after too) was full of so much sexual tension between these two that it was almost suffocating. The one-night stand that they both fondly think about later, but told no one about? It needed to happen, but that's the end of it for me.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Okay, hi, here I am oversharing on the internet again about my parents lol, but I swear sometimes they're right out of a damn romance movie. I was reminded of this a little with the Surprise Pregnancy trope and I'd love to one day see someone write something with an adoption aspect (hi I am an adoptee). Trigger warning, though, brief mention of miscarriages. So, my parents were never able to carry a pregnancy past first term and it broke my mother's heart because (beyond being a badass scientist) being a mother was one of her biggest dreams. I think it was two or three miscarriages before my mother decided she had to make some kind of peace with herself or she was gonna drive herself crazy. So, she decided if she was meant to be a mom, she had to trust that it would happen one day, but that she was also deliriously happy with the family she had with my dad and their goofy ass Bassett hound. And then, the night she felt she made this peace, she got a call from a student that had worked under her at the college she and my dad were employed at - the student was pregnant and had realized she wasn't ready to be a mother, was leaving her dick of a fiancé, and needed to know this baby was going somewhere that they'd be cared for and protected and loved to pieces. And my parents agreed immediately to adopt. And that's how I got here, raised by two of the coolest people on the planet and having grown up absolutely loved to pieces by my whole family <3 I'm not sure why I feel so comfy telling you my life story, lol, but you make it easy, and one day when the inspiration fairies visit, I may try and write about it.

RAI. This is beautiful. Your parents sound so incredible and I'm so glad you got to grow up with such a wonderful family because it also meant that I got to meet you! Even if only through Tumblr lol

I feel the same way about my best friend's family seeming like they can't be real. They've been through a ton of shit (like, a lot of shit), but sometimes they act like a fucking Hallmark movie, and I have told them all to their faces. They find it hilarious and have to admit that they agree.

I AM ALSO ADOPTED, HELLO.

My circumstances are a bit different. My parents already had two boys and wanted a girl so badly. My mom is a pied piper and adores kids (no joke. If there are kids around, I GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL GRAVITATE TOWARD HER). She would literally adopt every orphan in the world if my dad would let her.

They decided to adopt a girl and ended up doing it internationally. The main thing I know about my birth parents is that my mom was sixteen when she had me. But other than that, not too much.

I've struggled a lot with identity, but my mom is one of my favorite people in the world. My family is also very white and I am very Asian. So the funniest thing is that THEY WILL FORGET THAT I AM NOT WHITE BECAUSE THEY FORGET I AM NOT BLOOD. So, that has led to my mother filling out medical forms incorrectly and having to ask for a new one, and acquaintances thinking my brothers are cheating on their wives until they DRAMATICALLY point at me and go "SISTER. mEET MY SISTER. MY ASIAN SISTER." 😂😂😂

Which is also why I find the gif of the guy at a hockey game with his sister so hilarious:

I love that you feel comfortable enough to share with me! And I hope that you are having a wonderful day!!! 😊💕

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I posted 4,277 times in 2022

That's 1,730 more posts than 2021!

974 posts created (23%)

3,303 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@drchai

@megamindsupremacy

@thisiswhereikeepdcthings

@ameba-from-space

I tagged 1,820 of my posts in 2022

#batman - 565 posts

#bruce wayne - 474 posts

#jason todd - 420 posts

#batkids - 392 posts

#batfam - 365 posts

#red hood - 177 posts

#dick grayson - 162 posts

#billy batson my baby - 160 posts

#tim drake - 154 posts

#damian wayne - 152 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#because i’m scrolling through a thousand posts trying to find one particular one from over a year ago but this one funny so i paused briefly

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Bruce: If I go on an actual vacation, then Gotham will suffer without me.

Dick: Bruce, this is ridiculous. You can't just treat all of Gotham like they're helpless infants. Next you'll be trying to adopt every Gothamite!

Bruce:

Dick:

Jason: Now look what you did. You gave him an idea!

Bruce: I do have the money for it-

Dick and Jason: NO!

(Inspired by ThePandaRedd's "Alfred call the guy" skits)

Barbara yelling at Bruce over the phone: STOP TRYING TO ADOPT ME

Bruce: It’ll work eventually.

Jim: I’m right here.

5,899 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#4

I want someone at the fbi to have a whiteboard tally of all the times one of the Wayne kids said something on live tv that resulted in a federal investigation being launched.

I want a separate tally of the number of convictions linked to one of those investigations, and another tally representing the number of times the Waynes implicated Luthor on national television.

I want the Wayne kids to be able to be on some talk show sharing a hilarious story of such and such a time and oh yeah Lex was there and doing this thing that was probably fine I don’t know law lol and someone in the fbi is watching and goes, “we got another one,” to the collective cheers and groans of those who placed bets on the outcome of the interview.

6,359 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

#3

Bruce: So, when you and Jason eventually get married-

Roy: We’re not dating?

Bruce:

Bruce: When the two of you get married, how likely do you think it is that you will change your last name to Wayne?

Roy: Jay doesn’t even use Wayne.

Bruce: *prolonged sigh*

Bruce: Yes, but have you considered how much it will annoy Ollie?

Roy:

Roy: Go on…

9,335 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

Jason: So.

Jason: How many murders did you refrain from committing today?

Damian: Thirty two.

Jason: Good for you.

Jason: Here, have a cookie.

11,510 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Do not cite the deep canon to me, witch. I was there when it was collectively ignored.

28,741 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[getmemymicroscope]

Two Shows, Randomly (Well, 3, or 4...)

First - I'm so sad Jodie's time as Doctor has come to an end. She's an awesome actress and was a really cool doctor (with really cool companions, and an epicly awesome Master as her rival), and while the first bit of her run had some choppy writing, I do think it got better with Flux, and then the two specials (especially the Groundhog Day one - I loved that one) and then, finally, sadly, the end. I've loved every Doctor thus far (well, at least from 9 onwards), so I can't pick favorites, but she was the first doctor where I was entirely caught up at the moment her tenure started. So there was that - the first time that I was watching things 'live.' And that was fun. That said, I loved the surprise twist at the end of the episode, and am so excited to see what happens next November.

Second - Ryan Hansen Solves Crime on Television* was one of those few YouTube Red/YouTube Premium shows that got canned when YouTube decided to get out of that business, probably because no one really wanted to pay for that (especially given the limited amount of stuff they had going at the time). But, well, Ryan Hansen is hilarious, the very 'meta' approach to the show was a lot of fun, the guest appearances thru both seasons were great - and I'm really, really sad that there isn't more of it. I mean, to some extent Ryan Hansen will always be Dick Casablancas, but, like, this show of him - and other celebrities - being weird, crazy (I assume) versions of themselves in a LA-centric crime show was pretty entertaining. The second season had some very questionable decisions (Black Panther musical, like, all of that whole story line), but it was still fun, and honestly, at the end, I was quite a bit sad that that was it. (Admittedly, I was also watching it many years after the fact, so that doesn't help things.) I wish IMDb or someone would pick it up. That sort of meta/fun is pretty entertaining when handled well, which this show was (for the most part).

Third - So Help Me Todd is a lot of fun. I love the cast, I love the premise, I love that the crazy relationship between kids and mom is, while constantly there, not something that overbears to the point of making the show unwatchable. Like, she's clearly slightly crazy, but they never go so overboard that you want to give up watching, and every show does end with a relative high point. It's sorta like The Arrow, if, you know, the mom in that show hadn't hidden secret after secret from her kids and pretty much created needless drama just to be drama-centric. Point is, I really do enjoy this show.

Fourth - I may have said this before, I don't remember, but Quantum Leap: good fucking heavens Addison is annoying as hell. Like, I know she's going thru a lot and I understand that, but, like, yikes. It does not make for enjoyable TV. I get that Ben did something stupid, for unknowns reasons, and she's suffering because of that, but like ... at least thru the first 4 episodes ... her actions, reactions, and everything else has just made it painful to keep watching. Not quite sure where they're going with the show's overall/background premise, or the apparent 'villain,' but they're going to need to make some progress quick to get focus off of 'angry Addison'-centric episodes.

[bi-demon-ium]

37. have you ever been the principal's office 👀

OKAY SO. technically this was the vice principal both times i think but i'm not sure. either way. yes. two times in my memory.

the first time is short and funny, so i will leave it above the cut:

namely. i was a hyper adhd Gifted Child(TM). i was generally unusual, loud, fast, annoying, etc. very hyperactive and weird, generally the school freak, etc. however. amazingly. this led to someone genuinely and actually reporting me (in like, MIDDLE SCHOOL) for being on drugs. like, cocaine drugs, or meth, or whatever, not even just like "that kid got some weed". and me, despite being a weird-ass little bitch, being this like. goody two shoes nerd too awkward to actually do anything remotely "bad", having never even Seen A Weed Before, was just like huh

literally the principal called me in and was like [obviously not serious about this] okay do you do drugs

and i was like "..........what? no????" and he was like "yeah i didn't think so. okay, go back to class"

which. amazing.

the SECOND story is the far more memorable one and is also far less funny and more just like ah! fun fact! so i'll put it below the cut.

so STORYTIME! my high school vice principal fuckin hated me and the feeling was mutual. that guy was a huge bag of dicks, enormously prickish, always insisted on calling me specifically out in particular on dumb shit (no hats indoors, so if i didn't take my hat off the instant i got inside instead of just. when i was allowed to go to my locker. he'd get on my ass even tho DEADASS HE NEVER DID THIS TO ANYONE ELSE IN MY HEARING even when there were other people with hats on, one time he made me take off my hat while i had arms full of two trays of cupcakes and did NOT offer to help and they got mildly squished in the struggle) and he was just generally the worst

now one day, my spanish teacher--and that's a whole other can of worms we don't have time for, but let's just say while i don't hate him as a person, he was deeply insufferable and definitely at least lightly sexist--basically made some comment that was kind of sexist. it was something about how he would accept friend requests from male students after they graduated but not female, lest anyone get ideas, which like. i kind of get where he was coming from, being cautious and all, it's not like i was calling for the guy to be burned at the stake, i just pointed out it was a little sexist and heteronormative to presume that, and i wasn't even mad, i was just kinda like "HA! SEXIST, DUDE!" because that was kind of the energy you know? i don't think i'm explaining this well, but the point is, i made a very offhand comment about my teacher being sexist.

end of the school day i'm told to stay after school and go to the vice principal's office. he proceeds to close the door behind me and ask me why i'm trying to ruin a good man's career. i'm talking full lecture about me trying to get him fired, about me being irresponsible and stupid and selfish, intimidation factor through the roof, tells me not to accuse anyone like this ever again, etc. (also, apparently i didn't make a jibe at him being sexist but in fact "grabbed my chest and yelled SO YOU WOULDN'T FRIEND ME BECAUSE OF THESE? which i promise you i didn't do, it's possible i misremembered and said something like so you wont accept a friend request from someone because they have tits MAYBE but i definitely would not have grabbed my chest and made a lewd gesture because despite being closeted i was very aware of my Transness and VERY self-conscious about it, so like. i KNOW that was a lie and idk here that came from bc my spanish teacher was a prick but i don't think he'd lie about that for no reason either, and i never asked him, so. not sure what was up with that actually)

anyway like in retrospect, even only days later, i was spitting mad, like, i wasn't even that serious nor had i accused him of anything or like, spread it around or something (if i was going to try and make him out to be a sexist prick maybe i'd talk about him 100 percent seriously planning to give away his tiny daughter's future hand in marriage for a truck, okay) but you should never react to someone saying "my teacher is ___" with "never accuse anyone of anything ever again" and so on, but like, at the time, this was big scary authority figure man with power over me and my life is yelling at me and i'm trapped alone in a room with him" so i was like. full in tears. and i do not cry easily. i remember just coming out of there trying incredibly hard not to cry and i sat down waiting for my mom to pick me up and the secretary deadass was like oh my god are you okay and i was like [fully about to have an emotional breakdown] [doesn't answer] so she offered me a muffin. i think i said no because i don't like a lot of muffins and i was crying too hard to eat anyway but i appreciated the thought, she seemed very concerned/confused at the teenager dissolving into tears in a chair near her desk

anyway i heard a few weeks ago he got fired for being a dick to some kids or something lmao

[gallavictorious]

Would you be able to write a lil fic from Kev's POV of Yev's christening party? I just know Kev would find Mickey's "guess what we've been doing, daddy" monologue hilarious. And maybe Kev notices Ian and Mickey being super soft after and realizes they're actually really good for each other?

An incensed roar; a table tossed aside; the sound of glass smashing, and of fists against flesh. Kevin Ball takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and reaches for nirvana. Or for enlightment. Or whatever. He isn't really clear on that whole bit. But he's calm, he's cool, breathing slowly, this is all good, shit was the noise of someone's neck snapping, no, no, he didn't hear that, it's peace, love, all that crap, he's so relaxed –

Shit, this is hard.

Fortunately, someone must have called the police and the police must have been nearby because it's just minutes before the cops storm in to haul off both Terry and Mick. The amount of damage done to the bar is still pretty impressive, Kev sees when he finally opens his eyes with a sigh of relief, but that's okay; the Milkoviches are usually surprisingly good about actually paying for that stuff. It's one of the reasons Kev doesn't mind them hosting their parties here, in spite of said parties ending in brawls as often as they don't.

The other reason is that they'd probably burn the bar down if he tried to refuse them.

Kev looks up from the sad remaints of a chair to catch sight of Ian slipping out the door, after the cops and their captives. There's this look on his bloodied face, something fierce and determined and grimly triumphant, and Kev can't help but frown, suddenly a little uneasy.

Thing is, maybe he should have seen it earlier. He knows he's not the brightest tool in the shed; he's okay with that. He's got V to do the sharp thinking, and besides, Kevin Ball ain't stupid about people. He notices things, and looking back, there's been all these little hints, shit Mickey's said and done in the past few months, and there's that thing he heard from a grumpy Lip about Mickey staying over at the Gallagher house ever since Ian came home. And okay, maybe he'd found that a bit weird, but Kev's been little busy lately by small things like becoming a father, so maybe he hasn't had too much time to worry about where his business partner might be putting his head down, okay. A man can only have so many things on his mind at once. Three maybe. He thinks he's read that somewhere. Or V told him.

But yeah, maybe he should have seen it earlier, but he hadn't. Doesn't get it until he sees them having a clearly heated but quiet conversation over by the side of the bar just before Terry shows up; then something finally clicks. Not quite into a certainty, but into enough of one that he's compelled to slide Ian a shot when Mickey runs off to greet his dad, and isn't exactly shocked when Mickey turns the music off to make his declaration.

Good for you, Mickey, Kev has just enough time to think before Terry charges at his son like a deranged bull and all hell breaks loose. Not that Kev paid any attention to that, because he's a conscienctious objector now; he doesn't only not do violence, he doesn't even see violence.

Now that calm's been restored to the bar, everyone but the most persistent drunks has gone outside to watch the arrest unfold, so Kev follows suit. It's freezing cold, the way only Chicago in winter can be, but he doubts either Terry or Mickey can feel the chill; they're still straining to get at each other, struggling against the police holding them down, and screaming blue murder.

”Get out of my house, you pole-smoking queer!” Terry bellows, but whatever hold he once had over his son must have broken because Mickey doesn't even hesitate, and there's a wild sort of glee in his voice as he calls: ”Fuck you, don't worry about it! I've been staying at Ian's since you've been in the can, bitch! Guess what we've been doin', daddy! We've been fuckin'! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard and I fuckin' like it.”

That's more than Kev ever wanted to know about Mickey's sex life, really, but he still can't help but grin as Mickey humps the car, giving emphasis to his words. ”Fuck you, I suck his dick and I fuckin' love it.”

Mickey's always been an expressive bastard, unafraid to speak his mind. Kev finds it both hilarious and worthy of respect, though upon reflection maybe there's a few things Mickey has actually been afraid to speak of, after all. Until now, at least.

Good for you, Mickey, he thinks, again.

The cops take Terry away; the guests filter back inside. The place is a mess and the object of the celebration has long since been whisked away by his mother but that's no reason to break up a party on the South Side, so Kev alternates wiping up blood with serving beer after beer after shot of cheap liquor. Everyone seems to be in high spirits; nothing like a good old-fashioned brawl to get the blood pumping on a cold winter's night, and the story of Mickey Milkovich coming out to the whole bar at his own son's baptism party is a good enough story to last a few retellings.

Ian and Mickey are nowhere to be seen, Kev notes, and again there's that sense of unexpected unease, of worry.  He remembers Ian's face covered in blood, the hard look there transforming him from the earnest kid Kev's known since he was in elementary school and into someone he's not sure he knows at all. Ian's scrappy, like all the Gallaghers; bit of a punk at times, and way into that Army crap of course, but at heart he's always been gentle. Hardworking, and caring, and soft in the way none of his siblings were; a good kid, for all that he's gotten himself in a bit of trouble lately, though Kev's not entirely caught up on that.

And now Ian's gone and gotten himself involved with Mickey Milkovich, who is about as far from a good kid as it's possible to get.

That's not to say that Kev doesn't like Mickey. The guy's funny, he has some good ideas and great initiative; he makes things happen, like that whole rub-and-tug business (okay, so maybe there's been a few misunderstandings about how they're to split the money and whatever, but apart from that, Kev's got no complaints about having Mickey for a partner). He also pays for his beer and isn't a bad drunk, both things a bartender knows how to appreciate. So yeah, Kev likes Mickey just fine... but he's not sure he likes him just fine as Ian's boyfriend.

Truth is, while Kev's not scared of Mickey – c'mon – he's not not scared of him either. Sure Mickey's about half his size, but he's ruthless and kind of crazy and has access to fuck know how many guns (that he actually knows how to use, unlike Kev), not to mention a whole bunch of brothers and cousins and whatever he can call upon. He's a criminal, the real kind, and it's probably only a matter of time before he follows his father and his brothers into big boy jail. Kev doesn't judge – you do what you need to get by, and it's bad practise for a barkeep to look down at his patrons anyway – but he can't help but wonder what it'll mean for a kid like Ian to get caught up in all that hardcore Milkovich madness.

For one, he's not sure gentleness can survive it very long, and he'd hate to see Ian lose that kind heart of his; hate to see him freeze and harden. He'd hate to see him give up on his dreams too, though maybe it's too late for that already, 'cause of what happened with the Army and that helicopter...

It occurs to Kev that Ian ran away just after Mickey married Svetlana.

Oh, shit. This must have been going on for years. Gallaghers have always been attracted to trouble, Kev supposes. He tries to stay out of it, for the most part. Live and let live – and let V be the one to make the off-hand judgemental comments or give it to someone straight if need be. Sure, Kev's been there to throw some advice Lip's way when Lip's been particularly stubborn about something or someone, but there's no way he's getting involved in this. Word got back to Mickey that Kev had tried to meddle in his love life, no talk of peace and love and overflowing plates of cabbage would save him from a bullet to the head, and his kids are not gonna grow up without a father.

It'll probably be fine anyway. Not like he begrudges Mickey a bit of happiness, and Ian's a tough kid. He can take care of himself.

It'll be fine.

Kev keeps telling himself that as he starts shooing the last remaining guests out.

---

He catches sight of them just a little later, when he's finally done getting the priest – half a bottle of vodka and two hookers in on his road to heaven on Earth – out the door, and is taking out the trash.

They're laughing. Through the blood and broken teeth, they're laughing. Ian winces with it, clearly in pain, and Kev considers heading over to ask if they're okay, if they need, well he's not sure, an ice pack or someone to walk them home or something.

He imagines Mickey reacting to that latter suggestion and reminds himself of his decision not to leave his daughters fatherless.

Ian and Mickey has stopped laughing, stopped talking, now (and if Kev had been an introspective kind of guy he might have paused to wonder at how easy it is to think of them like that, as one unit, as a couple, Ian and Mickey). Mickey's head is sagging slightly; Ian's looking at him with an intensity Kev can pretty much feel, even from twenty feet away and with Ian's back turned toward him. He knows he should go inside and leave them to whatever it is they've got going here, but he can't quite look away, his concern mingling with curiosity.

As he watches, Ian rises. He walks over to Mickey and slings an arm around his shoulder in half a hug, before softly running his fingers through the other boy's hair and bending down to press a brief kiss to the top of his head. There's nothing sexual about it; it's affection and comfort, offered easily.

Offered gently.

Mickey doesn't shy away from the touch. He leans into the hug; there's a faint smile on his lips as Ian pulls away, and it comes to Kev then that maybe it won't be Mickey's ruthlessness that tempers Ian's gentleness, but the other way around. Maybe Ian saw something underneath all that sneer and swagger that no one else could see, but was always there.

Maybe it really will be fine. Kev thinks maybe he believes it now.

---

A/N: Thank you for the prompt, nonnie! <3

I'm very happy you clearly specified 'lil' because yes, this I can do! Tiny little things I can mostly make happen! Might take me a while, but still. :) It was very interesting and rather more challenging that I had expected to try to get into Kev's head during these moments (though it gave me an excuse to rewatch all of Kev and Mickey's scenes in season 4, which was a delight!). I hope it's somewhere in the vincinity of what you envisioned, even if it didn't really get into why Ian and Mickey would be really good for each other; I think that's a realization that comes to Kev bit by bit over the years. Would love to see some scenes with him and Mickey in season 11.

This ficlet incidentally got me thinking about how the people of the South Side would distinguish between 'regular' people who don't mind breaking the law when given the opportunity and 'real' criminals who makes a living by actively doing so. Seems like it'd be a fine line at times...

Oh, and I do know that tools in the shed tend to be sharp rather than bright, but think that Kev is the sort to mix up expressions (and I feel the need to point this out since I'm not confident enough in my English to trust that this kind of thing will come across as intentional :p).

[unloved-cadillac]

Firstly to start off with, ummm a white kurtan, yes please, I know this bitch looks good whatever hes wearing, so it dont matter, BUT THE BLACK TANK TOP OOFFFF YOU BETTER STOP, ITS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEALTH. But moving on, I've finished reading the whole thing now, and I'm writing this in notes, so if you're getting thing like 40 minutes later it's because I'm drafting my ask. Basically I'm just gonna skim read it again and just give you my thoughts and any feedback, if that's okay with you, you can ignore this if you want to, I completely understand. I dont mind at all 😊😊

Ok to start off with, the exposition was really good, you've set the tone and introduced the Ackerman family really beautifully. When I read it initially the fact that Levi did not want a family or to get married was quite emphasised upon to me, and I'm really looking forward for the inevitable development and how his view changes as the chapters go on. I also love how you introduced Farlan and Isabel, and lightly touched upon how they met, you didnt go into too much detail and I really like that, it kept me focused on the actual story itself, which is about Levi and not Farlan. And Farlan wanting tto marry her 😢😢. I think it's really really sweet and I cant wait to see more of them. I love it so much.

The transition from setting the scene to their father being poisoned was not something I was expecting and made me go oh shit he dead. Part of me felt like it was moving too quick, but the other part of me loved the shock factor of it since it happened so suddenly. I didnt think of it as too big of an issue though, it was still enjoyable to read.

The whole encounter with the peasant guy made me wonder just how many more people there are like him, that dislike the Ackermans and would try to kill them. And whether y/n would be one of them. Also I got a bit confused as to who was speaking whether it was Farlan or Levi, but I read the sentence again and it was fine, I understood, so maybe I was just being a dumb bitch.

Oooh a quick point Levi sympathising with the criminal was really touching and made me feel warm and gooey. It shows that hes not a dick and does actually care about his people. But it also shows he has clear boundaries and is really firm. He will make a great leader in the future.

YESSS BODYGUARD ERWINNN!!!!! I WAS LITERALLY TELLING MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY, ERWIN AND LEVI BODYGUARD AU IS THE BESTT. YES SWEETIE UGH ITS FANTASTIC. IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT IM SAYING IT AGAIN I LOVE IT.

Carrying on, I love the whole Erwin/Levi/Farlan interaction, of course Erwin knows everything, why wouldnt he, hes a boss ass bitch. Also again, reaffirming that Levi does not want a wife, nOicE. Really builds up his future development.

The difference in Levi's and Farlan's reaction is comical. Ones there waving and smiling and the other ones there like fuck off leave me alone. ALSO WHOEVER SAID THEY'LL GIVE UP THEIR VIRGINTY SAME GURLL SAMEEE, I WOULD TOO YOURE NOT ALONE. AND YES FARLAN IT IS FUNNY, IT MADE ME LAUGH.

Awww the people are so nice, offering things for free, that's how you know you're loved by your people, I rate it, rate Levi sm.

Okay my guy, imma need you stop for a second and relax. Taking your top of??? And your scarf??? Okay big man, I see you, I see you, looking fine af. Ahhh I love imagining this in my brain, so stimulating.

Anyways, Y/N'S HERE NOWWW YES BITCHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, TURN IT UPPPP.

Nanaba being my sister is absolutely exquisite *chefs kiss*. I really thought you'd maybe put Petra, and then Petra would like Levi as well, but no its Nanaba and I fucking love her so so much. Also not really relevant, but I dont have any older sisters, but I do have older cousin sisters and I call my favourite one didi mooni (I think that's how you spell it, or muni idk) and yeah it just reminded me of her. I haven't seen her in so so long because of the pandemic and I miss her :(

Ah. So. Y/N does hate the royals. I wanna know why?? Does she think they're overrated?? A bad experience maybe?? Everyone else seems to love them. I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

ALSO PLEASE TELL ME THE LITTLE KID WAS MIKASA!!! IM HOPING SO SO MUCH ITS MIKASA, IT PROBABLY ISNT BECAUSE SHES AN ACKERMAN HERSELF BUT I CAN STILL HOPE!!! SHES SO CUTEEE AND ADORABLE AWWWW WEVIIII 🥺🥺🥺

THEY SELL TEAAA AHHH ITS A LOVE STORY BOUND TO HAPPEN. AND HE HASNT TRIED THEM YETT!!!! YES OMGGG TEA DATES, THEY CAN BOTH SIT DOW AND SHE CAN INTRODUCE HIM TO NEW SHITT AHHHH MY HEARTTTT 🥰🥰🥰IM GETTING WAYYYY AHEAD OF MYSELF.I need to calm down.

The whole meeting with Levi and Y/N was so adorable. It felt really short and I want more, but its okayyy, hopefully there are more chapters. Them locking eyes, him following her to get the leaves, HIM HELPING HER PICK UP THE BLOODY LEAVES, THE HAIR PART REMINDS ME OF IN BOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHEN THE PROTAGS HAIR GETS STUCK IN THE GUYS WATCH OR THEIR DUPATTA OR SOMETHING. OMGG Y/N IS ONE LUCKY BITCH.

Also since you havent specified the race of y/n, just wanted to ask is she Indian?? Or it it unspecified?? You wrote that she blushed bright red and many dark skinned readers wont be able relate. So yeah I'm not too sure whether that was intentional or not, I'm sorry if I'm mistaken though. I mean no harm at all.

Farlan's relationship with Levi is just beautiful, like I know I'm using the word beautiful a lot, but their broship is immaculate. Something else that I love.

Both Levi and Y/N not wanting to get married is hilarious. I really like how you've characterised her, shes really fierce, independent and seems really kind and caring as well. I really like this Y/N, very family oriented.

If I was her dad I would've taken the money. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ Not complaining about it because my dad would've done the exact same thing, but if I was him I wouldve taken it. Sis is broke, sis needs all the money she can get.

Both parties questioning Levi and Y/N is hilarious, fucking Erwin, I love him so much I stg. I'd sacrifice my life for him. Hes best boy 😇😇

I feel like this is really really long already so I'll quickly sum everything up, if you got this far you deserve a clap on the back and a medal, because I've basically just waffled. I really really enjoyed this chapter, it was very good in terms of introductions and getting to know the characters, I loved the initial meeting between levi and y/n and it did make my heart flutter quite a bit so that's that. I dont have any complaints really, just small minor things I've mentioned before and that's it. I really look forward to the coming chapters!!! Thank you so so much for writing it. Please make sure you're taking regular breaks and keeping hydrated and healthy. Thanks sweetie xxx 🥰🥰🥰

I’ve read this WHOLE thing..twice. I can’t stop smiling omf you’re so sweet! But, yeah minor shit I didn’t mention and I left it up to reader. Like the skin tone, sheesh. I don’t want any problems with that, I just said red blush to signify embarrassment. Reader is reader no matter what.

Aren’t we all broke af? But I liked the idea of the father being humble about it. Lol. Idk.

I don’t want to get into too much detail because that will obviously ruin the story but I love your ideas. Tea dates?! How cute! Erwin is the best, of course. He knows ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and he’s the kind of person who would follow his princes no matter what. Till the end, you know?

As I said, highly inspired by Bollywood movies lol.

You took your time and wrote all of this and I’m so fucking happy that you did. I can’t wait for all of you to see the upcoming chapters. I hope that you’re staying happy and hydrated as well. Also, happy Shivratri! (If you celebrate for it) and to everyone else celebrating.

-Caddy.

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Where's Nance? Buster: You had her last Rio: No idea Rio: Junior's room maybe? Buster: Cheers Rio: 👍 Rio: Any time Buster: Yeah Rio: Good talk, McKenna Buster: You wish, babe Rio: No doubt Rio: highlight of my night Buster: I know Rio: You don't need to say it Buster: You don't need to still be saying anything but you are Rio: Off you go then Buster: Make me then Rio: The reek of desperation is overpowered by your dad's cologne you clearly knicked Buster: Shame you didn't nick any lines from him 'cause yours are weak whereas he hardly ever loses an argument Rio: Come at him with the hero worship Rio: you turn my stomach without it, like Buster: He wishes Buster: And I'd have to find him first Buster: Probably hiding in the bathroom, unlucky for you Rio: Awh Rio: like father like son Buster: Fuck off Rio: No, you Rio: that's what we're doing here Buster: I'm nothing like that cunt Buster: And if that's the best you can do, give up Rio: If it didn't touch a nerve, why are you being such a pussy about it Rio: again, go convince yourself of that lie and all Rio: not what I'm here for Buster: If you were capable of touching a nerve, being convincing or telling a decent lie it'd almost be worth having you here Rio: 💔 Rio: If only I could say the same for you Buster: You can't say anything for me 'cause that'd involve speaking to me as well as about me, which you're also incapable of Rio: Why would I need to do either Rio: or wanna Buster: You tell me Buster: You're heartbroken by your own admission Rio: For you, babe, not about you Buster: You done now that's off your chest or is there more bullshit to come? Rio: You're out here begging for a reason to go Rio: not me begging you to stay Buster: I don't beg so you're gonna need a new fantasy Rio: Ha Rio: The one where you're not in my face has been a dream, honestly 💋 Buster: Yeah, I bet Buster: And if I was allowed to leave, I would Rio: Get over it Rio: Its a wedding, no one wants to be here Buster: Get over me Buster: Fucked if your parents don't but whatever Rio: They've done this many years and dramas, I doubt a real wedding will be what tips them over the edge, honey Buster: Do they need a new toaster? That could've been what swung it Rio: I hope so Rio: need one that does at least 10 slices at a time Buster: Fingers crossed someone's got 'em one that does 6 and another cunt's bought one that does 4 then Rio: Careful, that was almost like exchanging pleasantries Rio: you can admit you got them a toaster and still be a dick about it, amateur Buster: Calm down, just 'cause my name's on the card don't mean I have any fucking idea what was wrapped Rio: See Rio: such a #lad Buster: If you get excited about being in the kitchen making breakfast more fool you Rio: We all have to do it Rio: may as well do it with an all singing all dancing toaster Buster: That's your birthday present done and delivered then, babe Buster: You're welcome in advance Rio: I'll expect it and the 'Sorry I can't make it' first class Buster: 'Course Buster: I'll get your name put on it, how many slices do you personally want? Rio: 😏 Rio: Go six or go home, obviously Buster: Size matters Buster: Alright, I'll remember Rio: Girls gotta eat Buster: Especially on your birthday Buster: Still a princess then Rio: Duh Rio: Thought I'd give the tiara a miss though Buster: Shame Rio: Of course you'd think so Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: Sure its all foreign princesses and socialites Buster: Are you? Rio: Don't you wanna tell me it is Buster: Not really Rio: Alright Rio: I'll be sure then Buster: Good to know, like Buster: I'll see you around then Rio: at the next wedding perhaps Buster: Not if I'm old enough to not be forced to attend Rio: Unlikely Rio: someone always shacking up Buster: Yeah but in this fam they have their kids first so I've got loads of time Rio: Well Rocky just had his first so Rio: no you don't Buster: There's no way he'll stop at that one Rio: You don't have to birth your own bridal party Rio: they could do it and then have more, not a death sentence Buster: They won't though Rio: You're so clueless Buster: Fuck off Buster: I am not Rio: You are Buster: Why? Rio: Rocky isn't like the rest of this fam Rio: he's already garda Rio: why wouldn't he buck the trend there too Buster: Kids are expensive as fuck Buster: So are weddings Rio: If you're you Rio: I'm sure they'll go down the office and get it done nice and simple Buster: That ain't a wedding that's paperwork Rio: 🙄 I'm sure they'll be devastated to not meet your high standards too, McKenna Buster: You mean you'll be devastated to not see me there Buster: 'Cause there won't be the fam gathering you've got your fingers crossed that we cross paths at if they keep it cheap and simple Rio: He's enough like this family that there will still be a party at the pub Rio: don't be stupid Buster: Make your mind up, Cavante Buster: He's either one of 'em or he ain't Rio: You wish it was that simple Buster: I don't need wishes for that Buster: It is Rio: Nah Buster: Like I said, you ain't convincing Rio: Why do you want convincing so badly? Rio: Get a grip Buster: Why are you so bad at everything? Buster: You didn't used to be Rio: And my lines are weak Rio: You know nothing about me Buster: Yeah they are Buster: Hence I don't wanna know you Rio: Thank God Rio: be awkward if it wasn't mutual Buster: And this convo is awkward enough so Rio: You started it Rio: and refuse to leave it Rio: being this bad at taking hints ends up in prison sentences, like Buster: You can leave Buster: There isn't a literal door that you need me to hold open or shut in your face Buster: Take the hints yourself Rio: This is my inbox Rio: so why should I Rio: literally fuck off Buster: 'Cause you want it so badly apparently Buster: Why haven't you blocked me years back? Rio: In case I need a kidney? Buster: You ain't having mine even if there's nobody else to ask Buster: So you can go ahead and do it now Rio: Why Rio: You're so crap at this Buster: You won't miss me when we can no longer chat then Rio: I'm not petty, I don't block Buster: You're a glutton for punishment Buster: I'll bear that in mind Rio: You wish you had any kind of effect on me Buster: I don't need to wish for that either Rio: Still do though Buster: You wish Rio: Obviously Buster: Yeah obviously Rio: What do you want Buster: From you or from tonight or from life in a more general sense, like? Buster: What do you mean? Rio: Oh my God Rio: are you a philosophical drunk now Buster: Get me a drink, we'll find out Rio: Are you going to get me one Buster: It's your house and I'm the guest Buster: Don't be rude Rio: For what Rio: I don't need to hear what you pass off as wisdom Buster: Fine, don't Rio: They're free, don't act offended Buster: I'm offended by the gesture, or lack of, not the prize tag Rio: Yeah well back at you then? Buster: Fuck it I need to find Nance anyway Buster: You've done me a favour with your lack of manners Rio: Awh, you gonna tell her you love her Buster: Why would I lie to her face? Buster: Not very nice Rio: You aren't Rio: but you are pissed Buster: Me and the majority of the people here Buster: Probably wanna start now if you wanna tell 'em all too Rio: Exactly Rio: can't you just feel the love Buster: Nah Rio: Are you surprised Buster: Ain't the word for it Rio: Shouldn't be Rio: reap what you sow Buster: Cheers Rio: What, you really thought I'd be nice to you Buster: I didn't think about you, babe Buster: Other than that you could potentially know where my sister is Rio: Yeah right Buster: Yeah right Rio: Leave her alone Buster: Shut up Buster: I do what I want Rio: She's had enough of you Rio: and you're at my house so have some manners Buster: She's more than capable of telling me that herself along with anything else Buster: It's nothing to do with you Rio: Well she doesn't need to because you already know Buster: Like I said, stay out of it Buster: You're not fighting her battles for her Rio: No, I won't Buster: Hilarious Buster: What do you reckon you're gonna do? Rio: What have you done? Rio: Fuck all Buster: Don't sit there and fucking preach to me Buster: I'm there every day Rio: I don't give a fuck about you, don't get it twisted Buster: I never said you did Buster: I said you don't know fuck all about what's going on with her Rio: She's told me Buster: She'll have told you what she wants you to know Buster: So like I said Rio: Yeah she really wants me to know all the nasty shit being said and done to her Rio: such a juicy story Buster: Whatever she's said, everything she ain't told you is worse Rio: And what are you doing about it Rio: go on Buster: Maybe I would if I had anything to prove to you Buster: But I don't Rio: Prove it to her 'cos she's said how you've taken their side Buster: I bet she has Rio: Fuck sake, Buster Buster: Don't start with me on this Rio: You were always at least a decent brother Buster: I said, don't Rio: Do something about it Buster: Don't tell me what to do Buster: You don't even know what you're asking for or what it means Rio: She's your sister Rio: end of Buster: Yeah, mine not yours Buster: It's our lives not yours Rio: Yeah and hers is miserable and you aren't trying to help her Buster: I'm fucking trying to get her to help herself Rio: Jesus Christ Rio: that's not how this works Buster: I'm not a girl, I can't get involved in that shit Buster: That's how it works Buster: I've already sorted loads of lads out Rio: Yeah, no shit you can't smack then and pretend that's a fix Rio: she could still know that you don't endorse their bullshit, which she don't Buster: Fuck you Buster: And fuck her if she's gonna be that stupid Rio: Its not about being stupid Rio: all you have to do is tell her Buster: It's about everyone wanting to see the worst in me, her especially Buster: End of Rio: I already said, are you surprised though Buster: About her being such a man hating lesbian stereotype? Sometimes Rio: That is not what I meant Buster: I know exactly what you mean Buster: And I already answered you, surprised ain't the word Rio: What is then Rio: Don't be mysterious Buster: I ain't, I'm being polite 'cause I know you don't care Rio: Pick your moments Buster: Yeah Rio: If its not what you want with her, then you should do something Rio: 'cos its what you want with the rest of us Buster: I can't do what she wants me to and it's unfair of her to expect it from me Rio: But how is it not unfair for you to expect her to be a different person suddenly Rio: its on the bullies, not her Buster: I don't expect her to be a different person Buster: Just own the person that she fucking is Rio: You don't get it Rio: That's alright for you 'cos you get clapped on the back and prizes for the person you are all the time Rio: the person she is is awkward and shy and non-confrontational and her turning 'round and acting like she's the shit with it would not make them think its any better than it is Rio: they're clearly shitty people, end of Buster: Well she can be really confrontational when it suits her Buster: And there's plenty she's capable of being recognised for that isn't who she wants to fuck Rio: It's not about her being gay Rio: girls are vicious Rio: its all the other ways she doesn't fit in with them Rio: in what world is she gonna turn around and be so bad ass that they're stunned into what, liking her? Rio: why would she want that? Buster: She ain't tried to fit in at all Buster: In what world is it my problem that she didn't get to stay in Cambs? Buster: She wants to villianize me all of a sudden but that ain't vicious Rio: Because your genius solution is she just needs to befriend the people who are vile to her Rio: literally why Buster: That ain't any solution, least of all mine Buster: Nance made up her mind she was gonna hate it there before she got here and so she does Buster: Yeah there are cunts in Chelsea, there's cunts everywhere Rio: You keep missing the entire fucking point, Jesus Rio: They made up their mind that they hate her, they make her life hell, end of Rio: however fucking marvelous you think she can make her life to spite them, that's remaining a fact and you aren't even acknowledging it Rio: she would rather live here than with her own family, let that sink in, that is the situation Rio: she isn't moping about leaving a place behind 3 years ago, my God Buster: You're welcome to her then Buster: See how she manages to fuck Dublin up for herself Rio: Like I said, leave her alone tonight Buster: Like I said, make me or mind your own business Rio: Fuck off Rio: You're no help to her Rio: and you're happy not to be, clearly, so do her that one favour Buster: I don't do people favours Buster: Not a charity Rio: Just a sad excuse for a brother Rio: understood Buster: You don't understand fuck all about me but keep telling yourself you do Rio: I don't care Rio: and neither do you so you don't get to dictate how we see you Rio: your lack of action speaks loud enough Buster: Good Buster: Saves me making a speech, like Rio: That we can agree on Rio: 🙌 Maybe there is a God after-all Buster: As long as we don't make a habit of it Buster: And you don't take his name in vain or whatever Rio: That's the one message you're taking away from the bible then Rio: bit of a weird one but okay Buster: I remember loads of that shit Buster: Obviously the lions were the best but Buster: There's some good fights Rio: Jesus was lucky they didn't put him in the coliseum really Rio: might've scared Mary and co away when he came back, all mangled, like Buster: She might've been into all the scars and everything Buster: You don't know Rio: Well she was obviously into feet so Rio: I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, her tastes were well freakier than that cliche Buster: 'Course Rio: Have a good night then Rio: get some more blood of christ Buster: Shame his blood don't taste better, that way the two things you just said would be more likely to be mutually exclusive Rio: Your taste buds are as immature as you? Rio: figures Buster: That's the biggest load of bullshit you've written down all night Rio: It is not Rio: I drink red wine sometimes Buster: Me too just not the shit bottles your parents do Buster: They'd be better off letting your dad cook with it all Rio: Pah Buster: Either defend 'em or don't Buster: What the fuck is that noncommittal bullshit? Rio: I'm sorry but how have you convinced any of them that you're money Rio: that's what that sound was Rio: not dignifying that pitiful attempt with anything more Buster: You should be sorry Buster: Pathetic, like Rio: You said it Buster: You're judging my parents finances Buster: How undignified of you Rio: I'm judging you Buster: Yeah, trying to call me poor Buster: I've got what I've got, I don't need to convince anyone I belong anywhere Rio: And you can't buy class Rio: You're from trash Buster: I ain't trying to Buster: There's nothing wrong with my class or where I'm from Rio: Oh so you're claiming self-made Rio: that's your da Rio: you'll have to get your own act and you ain't found it, babe Buster: Like you said, I'll reap what I sow Buster: And I intend to sow plenty of epic shit Rio: Daddy's field Rio: Oh, McKenna Rio: I feel so bad for you Buster: My blood, sweat and tears, babe Buster: What do you reckon I'm doing at school all day, it's not just making the uniform look good Rio: How impressive Buster: It's necessary, if you wanna be impressed, you can have that Rio: I'm not Buster: Whatever you say Rio: You can leave the copy of your latest marks out of my birthday package, thanks Buster: You've just ensured I won't Buster: Enjoy the skim read Rio: 🙄 Buster: Been fun catching up, Cavante Buster: Let's leave it another few years next time though Rio: Take your own advice Buster: Easy when you're this boring Buster: Not gonna take yours Rio: Then why the hell are you still here? Buster: You don't want me to be Buster: And it's as simple to wind you up as it's ever been Rio: No, you're just even shittier Buster: That too Rio: What happened to you Buster: Like I said, Chelsea's full of cunts Rio: Yeah Buster: What happened to you? Rio: You said they're everywhere too, right? Buster: Yeah Rio: That's life, I guess Buster: How long did it take for Dublin to be as shit as anywhere else? Rio: I didn't ever think it would be any better Rio: beyond having family nearby Buster: Alright Rio: I didn't Rio: was never that stupid Buster: Calm down, I already said I believe you Rio: Alright Buster: You want a drink? Rio: Of course Buster: Of what? Rio: Not wine as you're such a snob about it Rio: I don't care, I've had all sorts today Buster: You had any brandy? Rio: I wasn't aiming to end my night with my head in the toilet, like Rio: so obviously not Buster: You do care then Rio: I didn't say no Rio: I said it wasn't in my plan Buster: I'll sort you out a decent drink Buster: Not that cunt, whoever you think I am Rio: I don't think anything Buster: Yeah you do Buster: You've made it well obvious Rio: That's about how you're behaving Buster: [brings her that decent drink as promised] Rio: [so awkward but having to maintain eye contact to be like cheers 'cos can't not] Buster: [walking away so casually like my job here is done] Rio: [🙄] Buster: [😏 I wish there was an even more smug dickhead version of this tbh] Rio: [Not too proud to drink it though but am gonna absolutely down it whatever it is] Buster: [he obvs has to as well but faster cos everything's competitive] Rio: [I hope you get the hiccups boy] Buster: [haha if only but he's too lucky for that kind of comeuppance to strike him down] Rio: IOU Buster: Easily fixed Buster: Off you go Rio: What do you want Buster: Don't spit in it and I'll take it Rio: 👍 Rio: have that for free Buster: Lucky me Rio: Don't push it Buster: What'll happen if I do? Rio: You're lucky, you won't find out Buster: Well now I'm obviously gutted Rio: [at him with some drink like drown your sorrows, boy] Buster: [knocks his glass against hers like oh thanks] Rio: [moving back like don't spill it on me, you messy bitch] Buster: [shakes his head and looks hot doing it probably] Rio: [shrugs like 'what?'] Buster: [gives her a look like you're the one still interacting with me] Rio: [walks off like you're weird] Buster: [watching her walk away and enjoying that view, once again where is everybody clocking this] Rio: [all partayingggg] Buster: [clearly] Rio: Why did you want to find Nancy? Buster: Last night I said some shit I shouldn't have Buster: But whatever she shouldn't of still been up Rio: They're in the music room Rio: if you still want to find her Buster: Forget it Rio: Go on Buster: Nah, we've had this argument already Rio: Yeah, last night, right Rio: so you should go Rio: you've got nothing else to do Buster: Don't tell me what to do Buster: She was the only person online then, she ain't now Rio: I'm not, it was your idea Buster: That you've spent most of tonight trying to talk me out of Rio: So you're gonna listen to me now Buster: Said like I've never given you exactly what you want Rio: Not that I remember Buster: Not that you're choosing to remember Rio: You feel up to reminiscing? Buster: According to you I've got fuck all else to do Rio: Except go talk to your sister Rio: which you're choosing to forget too, I guess Buster: I was doing line after line, I didn't know what it was gonna make me feel like Buster: It don't mean I'm gonna choose to dig a deeper hole now when I ain't Rio: What? Buster: It was my first time trying it so Rio: Did you like it Buster: I kept doing it, obviously didn't hate it, did I? Rio: Not that obvious, not necessarily Buster: Yeah well Rio: Where'd you even get it Buster: I was at a party I didn't have to get it Buster: It was just there Rio: yeah but who's party Rio: one of your friends Buster: Some girl from school Buster: I didn't ask Rio: Right Buster: Like I said, forget it Rio: Why, I'm not gonna tell on you Buster: 'Cause I didn't bring any with me so what does it matter Rio: Obviously Rio: you're not a complete moron Buster: Careful, you were almost talking sense Rio: If you reckon me giving you that you wouldn't try to take drugs through customs is a compliment, have it Buster: If I was taking it as a compliment I'd have told you that you were being complimentary Rio: If you were aiming for clarity, you would have made a statement in the affirmative of your apparent intellect, saying I'm ALMOST talking sense by implying you're not a COMPLETE moron, could as easily mean it'd be full sense to say you are in fact, a TOTAL moron Buster: You were almost talking sense 'cause you didn't admit that I'm not an idiot and felt the need to say that I still am Buster: There you go Rio: I said moron but I'll allow it Buster: I can read Buster: In case you've forgotten which twin you're talking to, like Rio: Hardly likely Buster: I know but a princess can dream, yeah? Rio: I'm sure they can Rio: but no need Buster: Whatever Rio: Exactly Rio: when I wanna talk to Nance, I will Rio: and should I ever feel the need to replicate a conversation with you, I'll go bash my head into the nearest brick wall Buster: So dramatic Rio: You really are Buster: You and me both, babe Rio: Careful, don't admit we're anything alike Buster: Why not? Buster: I ain't scared of making a favourable comparison, that's you Rio: Scared ain't the word Rio: and because last time we bothered to check-in, you think you're amazing and we're all beneath you Buster: You wish you were underneath me any time we've ever checked in Rio: I'm too sober to listen to your disturbing fantasies Buster: Stop chatting shit to me and get yourself more drinks then Buster: It shouldn't be that difficult Rio: Let's not conflate our mutual need for another drink with me wanting to hear what sick shit you're thinking about, McKenna Rio: Must you ruin everything, like Buster: 'Course I must Buster: That's the least you've heard about me Rio: You wish Nance would frame it like that Rio: You think infamy would suit, undoubtedly Buster: Never assumed or stated she was your only source of info anymore than I would her being reliable at it Rio: [Oh, before I forget, my idea was her lil boyfriend at this time is the neighbour boy 'cos realize that goal honey lol 'cos in my head its 6 boys and he's the oldest- (3 years older than her 'cos the vibe is when you're young that doesn't matter but he's like coming up 16 to her 13 now which makes you have to act so mature even when you ain't ready anyway)- like Rio and then some of the others are ones we've referenced Janis hanging with in the future when Grace was like you simply must not! and they could all be at this wedding anyway 'cos neighbour friends] Rio: Admit that you stalk much Buster: It's hardly considered stalking when you love yourself so much you post constantly, but alright, babe Rio: 🤔 hurr why didn't you block me years ago durr Rio: and if I'm after a drink, it ain't tea, so put the pot and kettle away Buster: Why would I block you? I'm having a lovely time Rio: Keep that to yourself Buster: Again why would I? Rio: Because I told you, I don't wanna hear what you think about me Buster: I'm not telling you Rio: You're implying it Rio: and being gross with it Buster: No I ain't Rio: Whatever Buster: If anything the implication is what you think about me and I could be much 'grosser' about it, like Rio: No Rio: I've told you what I think about you, one Rio: and you saying you're having a lovely time looking at my socials is an implication, one you can't pin on because I don't look at yours, I keep you on messenger apps only in case of emergencies re. kidneys and the like Buster: I'm only having a lovely time killing mine at this bullshit fam function conversing with you, anything else is you overthinking Rio: Get better at conversation because that's not what you said that in reference to Buster: 'Cause I knew it would get to you which it clearly has Rio: And why would you want to do that Buster: It's the most fun I can have until I'm allowed to leave Rio: How sad Rio: you said your sister isn't the only one online, why don't you make use of it Buster: I don't drunk dial, I'm not a fucking amateur Rio: Wow Rio: how many more lame excuses do you have Rio: seems neverending Buster: I already told you, I'm surrounded by cunts, I'm not gonna give 'em ammunition Buster: I'm not my sister Rio: I told you, I'm not confused Buster: Then don't act like it's an excuse Rio: Just leave me alone Rio: I'm not your stand-in entertainment just 'cos your friends aren't here Buster: What else are you? Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'm serious Buster: You've been very serious this entire time Rio: Today is shit enough without you Rio: I did not need this Buster: Likewise Rio: And? Rio: You're irrelevant Buster: And I don't feel sorry for you Buster: I'm talking to you 'cause I have fuck all to lose by doing it Rio: Enjoy talking to my inbox then Rio: I started over this, this is beyond Rio: I was only replying for your sister Buster: Stop crying about it Buster: Jesus Rio: 😥 Buster: [brings her a drink she did not ask for like drown your sorrows girl] Rio: [won't take it from him like put it down and go] Buster: [does but loling like okay] Rio: [closes her eyes and takes a deep breath] Buster: Why's it shit? Rio: you mean besides the cheap wine Buster: Yeah Rio: why ask Rio: you don't care or feel sorry Buster: Come on Rio: even if you did, you aren't ready for the rant Rio: get another full glass, like Buster: [Does] Buster: Tell me Rio: Its shit because it always has been and always is Rio: Last night, when mum and dad were doing whatever the fuck to get all this bullshit ready, Edie ran away. It started when they started planning this nonsense because even mum can have the same last name as us now and Edie really is the only one who won't but when one of the kids we asked if she wanted dad to adopt her she freaked the fuck out and I had to pull her away or she was gonna really hurt them but she's really fast and scrappy and I got covered in loads of scratches and bite marks Rio: and I didn't want to tell them because they were so busy so I had to look on my own Rio: luckily, she went to the pub to see granddad but then she was saying they should adopt her and she wouldn't come back for ages and Rio: then this morning she wouldn't put on anything nice, and then Janis always copies her and Edie encourages her 'cos she thinks its funny even though I was the one who had to make sure they were all ready because all the adults had fucked off to do more important shit and then Grace starts crying because she wants Janis to wear the same as her even though that was never happening and Diego and Gus are just so annoying about having to wear any clothes at all Rio: so by the time I'd given up on them all, I had no time to get ready and I already feel stupid because 13 is too old to be a pissing bridesmaid but no one cares about that, so I asked Harry to give me a ride on his moped to town but that didn't happen 'cos, well, reasons, so I'm just wearing something I already had Buster: [downs his drink and pulls her away into a quiet corner so that he can look at the damage Edie did because we all know he cares so much bye and is just looking at her like show me then cos needs to know that she's alright always before anything else can be said or done] Rio: [probably most of those scratchmarks are on her face so having to wear skin makeup which she wouldn't usually 'cos frecks and good skin so tah for that, just like have a closer look 'cos clearly not been that close today/forever, then I'll be nice and say the bites are coverable, on her stomach/back area but with what she's wearing can't really pull up or down so she's like it's fine but probably having a little drunk cry 'cos that frustrated and has opened the floodgates now] Buster: [thanks Edie for letting me do the softest face touches of all time and also brushing her tears away really carefully so the make up won't be totally ruined cos actually considerate af] Rio: [when that makes you cry harder but that's only partially your fault boy] Buster: [just hugging her and making me die cos he's so toll and she's so smol] Rio: [probably had such a growth spurt since, even though he's always been taller] Buster: [literally though she'd be shook] Rio: [just blurt out 'you're tall' you are drunk after-all Buster: [a little lol but actually genuine for once, pulling away enough so you can look at her and also genuinely being like 'it's a decent outfit'] Rio: [lols back 'cos obviously the least of her concerns but still 'thanks'] Buster: [just shrugging like it's so casual] Rio: [suddenly breaks the hug, looking around like !!!] Buster: [walking away cos can actually take hints] Rio: [but pulling on his arm like no and pulling him down so she can talk without shouting  'have you seen Edie?' obvs Mcvickers would also be keeping an eye on her too after her showing up but Rio lowkey been watching her all day but has slipped 'cos carried away in their arguing etc] Buster: [shaking his head since he likewise has been paying no attention to anyone else and why would he but has a little scout around now like let's go look for her without saying it cos can't care too much ever and be seen to but obvs does] Rio: [go from wherever you are and hopefully find McVickers and Edie and not Harry 'cos likewise being ignored rn] Buster: [Yeah she can be with them living her best life cos deserves it tbh] Buster: [ooh throwback one of mcvickers should say jokingly something about them being together cos never are] Rio: [just like NOT NOW GRANDPARENTS lmao] Buster: [walking away like fuck all y'all cos of course he is] Rio: [oh so moody, god bless you teens] Buster: [literally bumping into his sister on the way so he can be like fuck you as well and burn every bridge fully] Rio: [oh boy] Buster: [so angry and so sad always boy]