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m0e-ru · 10 months ago

Note

Hi! I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been reading your meta posts about Izanami and Souzai Daigaku and the like and you mention the game script often, do you have a link to the dump or to a big doc containing it? I only saw your Izanami one and it's fascinating, I'd really like to see more! I try to take screenshots of things like minor NPC dialogue but I miss a lot of stuff.

Also, while I'm here I'd like to ask, do you have a link to the Persona 4 Visualives? I know you uploaded them to your YouTube channel (and I'm very grateful 🥰) but I mean the actual files. I can only find dead torrents of them...

Either way, thank you very much for all the thoughts and reading material! #TeamIzanami

HAII HAIII HAIIII /waves violently and i trip on my feet and eat my spreadsheets/ imso happy youre here

i'd be SO HONORED to share my resources and im SO HAPPY SOMEONE'S SO INTERESTED ENOUGH TO ASK !!!

I've gathered and curated my own resources throughout the years, and I'll be sharing the original mirrors of where I got them. Of course, if any of these links are dead, I always have my own copies so you can ask me again WAHAHA

SCRIPT DUMP

ShrineFox

https://shrinefox.com/apps/textsearch

https://drive.google.com/file/d/113DuAlmIqb8AU4xBYNuU5FDxPP3mVX67/view

If you're not already familiar, ShrineFox has been a mod dev in the Persona scene for a while, right now though they're working on a lot of other projects too hehe. They had this "text search" app for a while where you could find text from entire script dumps of a game they had on hand, mostly the Persona games. Right now, the app's taken down, but the whole dumps have been uploaded in this Google Drive!

The _msg files are the ones you're looking for for the text n stuff. The _flow files are for the backend behavior coding and all that. These txt files are really big too, so try opening it with a source code editor like Notepad++ or Sublime Text because it might blow up a normal writer app like Word or Writer LMAO (188K LINES??)

Also, these are really the raw text dumps. There’s a learning curve to how interpret IDs and all that but you’ll get used to it, or just hit me up!

Vanilla JP Dump

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/s7c87y07vsv0t/Game_Scripts_and_Anki_Decks

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ukDIWSkh_xvpppPbgs1nUR2kaEwFaWlsJgZUlb9LuTs/edit#gid=0

https://www.mediafire.com/file/9mkufgtde42em6v/Persona_4.txt/file

Here’s a transcript of the JP text of the base game, not Golden. It’s formatted plainly, without the raw code or IDs or anything, so it’s easier to read but hard to crosscheck with the ENG text from the first dump.

MOEL Backroom (my stuff)

kai's spreadsheet of spreadsheets (and other docs)

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/18X2sR-1duXGWtQtJd5mesjrVUorjvUkOiwEjXT25Lmc/edit

Here’s my (supposedly) entire directory of my documents and spreadsheets I made throughout the years! You can take a gander if something catches your eye. I also made a summary of it and more resources on my Neocities :]

https://moel-sekiyu.neocities.org/archive/resources

Steam NPC Dialogue Calendar (P4G Edition)

[disclaimer: big page!!] https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2425834890

BIG SHOUTOUT TO STEAM GAMER TYSSERR FOR LITERALLY DOING ALL OF THIS MAN YOU ARE SO FUCKING REAL FOR THIS 🫶🫰🫶🫰🫶🫰

This is an entire guide for all the NPCs overworld in Inaba AND Okina, specifically a glossary for each NPC and when they actually show up. I wouldn’t know if this is really complete but it SURE IS comprehensive. If you can navigate the dumps right, you can reference that to figure out what their actual dialogue is and read it in context.

WEATHER CALENDAR

Vanilla Wikidot page

http://persona4.wikidot.com/schedule

P4G Spreadsheet

https://www.reddit.com/r/persona4golden/comments/w8h1fi/persona_4_golden_complete_weather_forecast/

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1iQfD_E2WhbW362puKUN_VJybjWBngUQTC2jI9CUmsLE/edit

These are calendars that have the weather throughout the game, and the wiki one has events and other stuff too just for the base game. The spreadsheet is a weather calendar throughout P4G, you can make your own copy to annotate if you’d like!

SELF DUMP

If you see throughout my resources, I don’t really source some of them from anywhere else because I dumped the scripts myself! Especially the JP scripts and the Arena/Ultimax story modes.

There’s a lot to say about it considering I learned it while trying to crack into the games files myself and debugging mod files on my own LOL. Here’s a few Amicitia pages as a starting point, and you can ask me for anything else

MSG and BMD (and BF)

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/BMD

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/BF

These files contain text and dialogue and description etc etc. You can check these pages to see how to extract them with tools available. There are .BMD files in .BF files most of the time.

PM1 vs PM2 & PM3

https://amicitia.miraheze.org/wiki/PM1

PM1 has text, dialogue etc

PM2 & PM3 only found in main folder (JP assets, not the ENG nor KR nor CN asset folder) deals with environment, models, etc etc

VISUALIVE / the Evolution Direct Download Link

The moment everyone’s been waiting for !! Here’s a link to both Visualives and the bonus content, which I’ve already posted on my YouTube like you said. I will kill this link in a week or so for security purposes and my actual cloud storage. If you want it past this time though, you can always hit me up and ask me personally! I’m planning to properly host it one day, I’m just being thrown against the waves right now.

update: i've killed the link now. if anyone else needs it, you can always come to me personally!

aand that’s it! I’ve actually been writing this throughout the whole week whenever I have the time. Here’s as comprehensive as I’ll get, and thank you SOSOSO MUCH sticking around!!

#persona 4 spoilers #assk #herrdoktorat #persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 visualive #p4v #// i need a resource tag #fyle #// you should consider yourself lucky im in a mood to gather information these emails are KILLING ME i am SICK !!!!!!!#// blows a kiss to you i was literally so hyped seeing this i wanted to focus on different spreadsheets even if it killed me #// but the sleepies won there is no winning against the sleepies

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withingerly · 10 months ago

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dramas I watched in 2023

I'm more of a reblogger/lurker here and I don't really post much (at all), but I was looking at my spreadsheet of dramas last month and realized I was about to hit an insane, personal record number of dramas watched in a calendar year. So I decided to write up a recap post, mostly for my own sake because I have a terrible memory.

I am closing out 2023 having watched 92 dramas. What the actual fuck. I thought watching 67 dramas in 2021 was a cry for help, but I really have no excuse for what happened this year. (To be fair, 43 of the dramas I watched in 2021 were c-dramas, whereas this year, 65 of the dramas I watched were BL, so by total hours watched [which is not actually a metric I keep], I did probably watch more in 2021.)

So, if you care to read about which of the 92 dramas I enjoyed the most this year, along with other random categories like favorite lead characters, favorite ships, and favorite drama with X trope, read on.

Favorite C-Drama: Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Okay, this was the year I finally got what all the fuss was about with Cheng Yi. He's honestly a little weird looking to me, but damn the dude is charismatic and magnetic and I could watch him spit up fake blood all day long. (Maybe someday I'll finish Immortal Samsara, but also I'm finally beginning to make my peace with the fact that xianxia just isn't really my thing, so maybe not.) Although Cheng Yi played a huge part in my love for Mysterious Lotus Casebook, it wouldn't be my number one c-drama of the year if everything else about it wasn't excellent too. This show gave us unhinged queen Jiao Li Qiao, Qiao Wan Miao finally cutting down Xiao Zi Jun as he deserved, actually interesting cases to solve, the best shiniang and the most pathetic shixiong. And oh yeah, a truly fantastic polyship. Pretty much every single thing about this drama was perfect to me, which is a rarity. This one is definitely going up there in my top 5 c-dramas of all time.

Runner Up: Love and Redemption

They really don't make dramas like they used to anymore – literally. I would love to rewatch this one, but I don't currently have the bandwidth to make it through all 59 episodes again. And the way they genderbent Xuan Ji in the final arc but still kept her love line with Si Feng as a central plot point regardless? Currently airing c-dramas wish they could (but no seriously, fuck censorship so hard). This one might also deserve all-time top 5 status, but I blazed through my first watch so fast and furious that I think I'd have to do a more reasonably paced rewatch to confirm. In any case, this was the drama I couldn't binge watch fast enough (only a Neo from the Matrix moment, where I literally upload the drama into my brain in an instant, would have sufficed), which is a testament to how thoroughly I enjoyed this one.

Favorite K-Drama: Revenant

It seems like every year there's a k-drama that makes me go against my own taste, and this year it was Revenant. I am pretty firmly anti-horror, but the gifs of Kim Tae Ri in this show got me so intrigued and she was an absolute beast. Her performance alone would have carried this to favorite status, but then my pathetic little man Hong Kyung showed up and I don't even know why I shipped them so hard but I really really did.

Runner Up: Alchemy of Souls

I'm cheating and putting both seasons here because even though I've probably rewatched more bits from Light & Shadow, the second season wouldn't have any of the emotional weight it does without the first season, so I'm not picking between them and you can't make me. At first, I was so disappointed that Jung So Min had been recast, but I ended up loving the second season anyway. Actress switch aside, Light & Shadow feels like a very different show, but I loved the way they handled the repercussions of the first season in a way that felt both consistent and earned.

Favorite K-BL: The Eighth Sense

Absolutely no question here. The Eighth Sense ate my brain while it was airing. It was the strong Shelter vibes at first, but then Seo Jae Won and Kim Ji Hyun totally won me over on their own merits. By the end of episode 9, my heart was in throat.

Runner Up: Cherry Blossoms After Winter

When I started writing this out, I was not expecting Cherry Blossoms After Winter to be here at all, but it really snuck up on me. As soon as I finished the drama, I binge-read the webtoon, and then I ended up rewatching the series more than a couple times, so yeah, I enjoyed the hell out of this one, with all its old-school vibes.

Bonus Shout Out: Our Dating Sim

If Our Dating Sim had been a little angstier, it might have given the above two a run for their money, but regardless, I have to give it a shout out because "Have you been well, without me?" is a line that just lives in my brain rent-free from now on.

Favorite Tw-Drama: Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

This could just be the recency effect, but I might go so far as to say Oh No! Here Comes Trouble is my favorite Taiwanese drama of all time. The mysteries were engaging, it's funny, it's emotional – don't get me started on how many tears I shed. The acting and writing were just top notch, and if they bless us with a second season, I will be first in line to watch.

Runner Up: About Youth

I don't think I hear many people talk about About Youth on here, so I feel pretty justified in calling it an underrated gem. It was basically, for me, a perfect drama all the way through. The main couple and the side couple were all wholesome babies and I wanted to protect them. Ye Guang's struggle in particular really resonated with me. I often think I'm getting too old for high school and college dramas, but when they hit that nostalgia factor just right, I am sold.

Favorite J-Drama: Utsukushii Kare: Eternal

Cheating a bit here because Eternal was a movie, but it was the final installment to the Utsukushii Kare series and it was perfect. We finally got the character growth I wanted, that made me believe these two crazy kids would actually make it.

Runner Up: Tokyo in April Is…

My best friend pointed out recently that j-dramas are great with obsession, and yeah, I do love my j-dramas a little fucked up. Not only does this one feature obsession, but it also has another of my favorite tropes: second chances. Ren had my whole freaking heart, and the way he finally got his happy ending left me on the floor. That chase scene was one of my favorites.

Favorite Thai BL: A Tale of Thousand Stars

(Fun fact! Prior to this year, the only Thai BL that I had watched was Kinnporsche. RIP to me.)

This was definitely my hardest category, because it was my most-watched category (33 dramas), but I gotta give it to A Tale of Thousand Stars. Solid execution of some of my favorite tropes and it just ticked all the boxes: good pacing, good acting, good plot, good chemistry. And lucky me, we got Our Skyy 2 this year. I'm usually not that bothered by proposal scenes, but this one got me hard. It was exactly the kind of epilogue to Tian and Phupha's story that I didn't realize I needed.

Runner Up: Lovely Writer

On the complete other end of the spectrum, upending all our favorite tropes, is Lovely Writer. I rewatched this after watching a dozen more Thai BLs, and I have to say I enjoyed it even more. During my first watch, I hated the first half, only stuck with it because I liked Gene so much, and loved the second half. Upon rewatch, the first half was not nearly as unbearable, and I think it was because I could see that Sib was intentionally playing into a BL archetype. But still, the second half has all of my favorite moments. Once their shared history is revealed, Sib stops being a cardboard cutout and becomes more human, and the entire storyline picks up and I am much more invested in his and Gene's relationship. That dinner where they come out to their families is excruciatingly awkward and I love it (and the episode that follows) so much – those scenes alone elevate it to favorite status.

Favorite First Half of a Drama: Destined

I love both Bai Jing Ting and Song Yi, so my expectations for this drama were very high, and the first half of Destined absolutely delivered. Just sheer perfection, no wrong steps, everything I didn't even know I wanted. Unfortunately, that kind of means the show peaked when they found themselves in the wilderness, trying to get the other to survive out of sheer willpower purely because they believed in the other's goodness. THE BLOOD FEEDING!!! Ahem. So yeah, the second half was okay, it had its moments but was generally a little boring and predictable, but dear god that first half was incredible.

Runner Up: The Blood of Youth

It may seem strange to have The Blood of Youth in this category, since I ended up giving it a 5/5 rating, but I just loved the Xiao Se x Wu Xin x Lei Wu Jie dynamic so much and as the show veered away from that, I couldn't help but be a little disappointed.

Favorite Drama That I Wouldn't Actually Recommend to Other People: Love in the Air

I know some people loathe everything MAME touches, but Love in the Air worked for me on every level. Well, I wish the acting for the couple in the second half had been a little better (ducks and runs), but I loved the first half and still quite enjoyed the second half. I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it speaks to my little lizard brain.

Runner Up: History 4: Close to You

I absolutely get why this show is controversial and why people hate it. I also don't care. This show had some delicious angst, and I was emotionally invested in both couples. Just a thoroughly enjoyable watch, but yeah, unless you're familiar with certain BL tropes and know you like them, I wouldn't actually recommend this one.

Favorite ML: Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)

Look, was it really going to be anyone other than this broken and silly man that feels the weight of the world on his shoulders and thinks his own life is worth less than everyone else's? It's been 4 months since I finished this drama, and I am still so emotional about Li Lianhua.

Runner Up: Xie Wei / Xue Ding Fei (Story of Kunning Palace)

I love an unhinged bastard, okay? When you realize that he loved her all along, her suicide in the first timeline hits that much harder. But I do love that he (albeit unknowingly) gets a second chance, and the man just goes for it. Never ever over the scene where he stabs his own hand, through the table no less, despite his obsession with playing the qin, to protect her. Romance storyline aside, I also love a good hidden identity trope (yes, there's a theme to this category). Xie Wei's revenge quest was delicious, and I freaking loved his scenes with Yan Mu and Yan Lin, all the meaningful looks and things unsaid until Yan Lin finally knelt in front of his cousin and acknowledged him.

BL Shout Out: Ai Di (Kiseki: Dear to Me)

It's hard to compare MLs from shows that run for 40 episodes vs. 12, but I have to shout out my favorite feral gangster Ai Di. I love me some good pining, and not only has this man pined for nearly his entire life, but he makes it everyone's problem.

Favorite FL: Xu Hongdou (Meet Yourself)

Xu Hongdou was just so cool and kind and gorgeous, and okay, yeah, I had a big crush on her. I've never seen Liu Yi Fei in anything before, I didn't even realize she played Mulan in that recent Disney live action production until my sister pointed it out much later, but she's one of those actresses that can make me cry just by tearing up. Xu Hongdou felt like a real person, kind but not a pushover, strong but still vulnerable, and I somehow want to grow up to be her even though I'm older than her.

Runner Up (tie): Shim Woo Joo (Call It Love) / Gu San Yeong (Revenant)

This one is a tie because I loved both Woo Joo and San Yeong for the exact same reasons: they were just so fucked up but trying so hard, and more than anything, I just wanted them to be happy. While the ships in both dramas were great, for me the real otps were the FL x happiness.

Favorite Supporting ML: Wu Xin (The Blood of Youth)

Every time Wu Xin was on screen, it was just a breath of fresh air. I get that he's totally overpowered, so for plot reasons it made sense to remove him, make him mind controlled, etc. But every time he wasn't on screen, I missed him. Even though the casting was a bit of an odd choice (they gave us a man in his early 30s playing a teenager), I can't imagine loving Wu Xin as much as I did if it hadn't been Liu Xue Yi. He doesn't really manage to look like a teenager, especially next to Li Hong Yi and Ao Rui Peng, but he really pulled off Wu Xin's innocence and naivete and childish humor. He also gave Wu Xin a certain gravitas and realism that I don't think a younger actor could have pulled off.

Runner Up: Jin Fan (My Journey to You)

Jin Fan, my beloved. His backstory was delicious and made his relationship with Gong Ziyu even better. Also, the fact that he actually secretly liked Gong Zishang back the entire time??? My man.

Favorite Supporting FL: Yang Ying (A Journey to Love)

A YING MY GIRL. Her journey from neglected, unloved princess to capable and powerful grown-ass woman who marries a dude she doesn't love to protect her people was quite possibly my favorite thing about this show. I would 100% watch a drama just about her, and I so wish we'd gotten an actual glimpse of her and Li Tong Guang in that little epilogue in the final episode. Their alliance/marriage is fascinating to me. He Lan Dou better be a FL in some dramas asap. She was equally convincing as both a meek, terrified princess, helpless to the whims of bigger political machinations around her, and an icy cold princess in enemy territory, actually playing the game instead of just being a game piece, determined to not only survive but to also protect everyone she loves.

Runner Up: Yoon San (The Eighth Sense)

Shout out to the only person who was actually Jae Won's friend in this show. Yoon San was a total scene stealer for me, don't even get me started on that bit when she was singing by the fire on the beach (swoon), and I found her friendship with Jae Won really sweet and believable. I think this actress is super talented, she nailed the funny moments, she nailed the heartfelt moments, and I would love to watch her in another drama.

Favorite Non-Canon Ship: Gong Shangjue x Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You)

I did not go into this drama expecting to be so into these cousins/sworn brothers, but Gong Shangjue and Gong Yuanzhi's relationship as it unfolded throughout the show became the one I was the most invested in. I fully admit I'm a sucker for a dynamic where one party is wholehearted devoted to the other and also wholeheartedly believes the other is not nearly as devoted, so as soon as we got their tragic backstory, I was solidly on board.

Runner Up: Na Na x Da Mai (Meet Yourself)

I know Chinese censorship blah blah blah, but Na Na and Da Mai should have been girlfriends, cowards. I guess at the very least, neither of them ended up with a real love line of their own, but still, they should have been girlfriends. It just makes sense.

Technicality Shout Out: Li Lianhua x Fang Xiaobao (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)

The only reason this pairing isn't at the top of the list is because I, personally, don't consider them non-canon. They read to me exactly the same as the pairings in The Untamed and Word of Honor, thus they are canon.

Favorite Friendship: Pu Yiyong x Chen Chuying x Cao Guangyan (Oh No! Here Comes Trouble)

Watch the last episode of Oh No! Here Comes Trouble, and tell me this friendship trio didn't make you cry buckets. You know each of them is wondering how they ended up with the other two as friends, but somehow they're also totally ride or die and I love them all so much.

Runner Up: Lom x Yiwa (Wedding Plan)

I loved Lom and Yiwa's long history together, the sacrifices they made for each other, their deep love born out of a bond of shared family pressure and mutual understanding. Their friendship actually drove the plot, and even when I was hollering at Lom to just be honest, his actions (and inaction) felt realistic once we got to know how important Yiwa is to him and why and once we had the context to understand how he had lived his life up to that point.

Favorite Found Family: Liudaotang (A Journey to Love)

If you've seen this show, I feel like it needs no explanation. These spies and scouts and murdery people with big ass swords and spiked shields and automatic crossbows were too good for this world. And the way their little family just kept getting bigger and bigger (spoiler: UNTIL IT DIDN'T) was so much fun to watch (spoiler: UNTIL IT WASN'T).

Runner Up: Rainbow Premium Taxi Service (Taxi Driver, Season 2)

I loved the way they addressed the end of season 1, by showing that these people are all a little messed up and they belong together and they really need the revenge business just as much as their clients do. When Kim Do Gi got roofied and he had his little housewarming hallucination, where they all wore matching slippers with hearts (!!), it honestly made me wanna cry a little.

Favorite Drama Featuring Friends to Lovers: My Only 12%

I don't know if it's because I missed it when it was airing, but I don't think I see many people talk about this show and I don't get why. This is to me quintessential friends to lovers. Seeiw and Cake's friendship felt absolutely real and lived in and honest, and the episode when Cake's family moved away had me bawling. Seeiw's pining physically hurt me, and Cake's confession scene in English could have been cringe but it was actually so fucking romantic.

Runner Up: Fake It Till You Make It

I don't know if everyone else would classify this one as friends to lovers because from the moment these two meet, it feels like they're teetering on the cliff of a romance or at least an excellent one night stand. But I just loved the way they flirted openly and then talked honestly about why they needed to stay friends and nothing more. I'm not typically that into "will they won't they" romances, but here, their hesitation to get more involved made sense emotionally, but at the same time their chemistry was fire and their attraction to each other was palpable, so it all just worked for me. Also friendship rings instead of couple rings was so stupid and I loved it.

Favorite Drama Where Nice Guys Finish First: Light On Me

This is totally not to say that Shin Da On isn't also nice, I just have no idea what to call this trope, but it's one of my faves, where the lead character ends up with the person they didn't actually fall for first. I did not foresee Tae Kyung ending up with Shin Woo at all, which is some poor media literacy on my part because all the hints are there from the beginning, but that kind of made the ride even more fun. One of the reasons I enjoy this trope so much is the built-in pining, and Shin Woo had some excellent pining. "Yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow, I will continue thinking about you" was a freaking great line.

Runner Up: My Ride

You might think a drama about two actually decent guys would be boring and lack conflict, but this drama employed this trope perfectly by starting out with Tawan getting a shot at his first love, the seemingly wonderful Por. So instead we got some great pining, Tawan being an oblivious sweetheart, and Mork trying so hard to be a good friend and not overstep, even as he was dealing with his own sexuality crisis. Just delicious.

Favorite Drama About Soulmates: Until We Meet Again

Did I only watch two dramas with the soulmate trope? Maybe so, but it's my list, so I do what I want. Until We Meet Again was what I would call a pitch perfect show – it delivered on everything it set out to do. I thought I was doing okay with the whole tragic soulmate storyline, but then I got to the very last episode and cried pretty much from start to finish. From the start, that episode got me so good and did not let up for like the next half hour, and so I was basically just left leaking tears until it all wrapped. Damn you, Fluke.

Runner Up: La Pluie

God this show was interesting. Smarter people than me have written a lot more nuanced and thoughtful meta than I ever could, so all I'll say is that I thoroughly enjoyed that a drama based on the premise of soulmates was really actually about how love is work. It wasn't a perfect show, but it was so interesting and the cast was so great that it was definitely a stand out.

For a true glimpse into my insanity this year, here is the full list of dramas I watched, including my ratings, in the order that I watched them:

Alchemy of Souls (4/5)

Alchemy of Souls: Light and Shadow (4/5)

Unchained Love (2/5)

Hi Venus (2/5)

The Blood of Youth (5/5)

Meet Yourself (5/5)

Silent (3/5)

Big Dragon (3/5)

Love in the Air (4/5)

My Tooth, Your Love (4/5)

Moonlight Chicken (4/5)

Utsukushii Kare: Season 2 (3/5)

A League of Nobleman (3/5)

Lovely Writer (4/5)

The New Employee (3/5)

Be Loved in House: I Do (2/5)

Not Me (3/5)

Tharntype (3/5)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (3/5)

Theory of Love (3/5)

Tale of Thousand Stars (4/5)

Wish You: Your Melody from My Heart (2/5)

Our Dating Sim (4/5)

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (4/5)

Call It Love (3/5)

To My Star (3/5)

Bed Friend (3/5)

The Eighth Sense (5/5)

Taxi Driver: Season 2 (3/5)

Takara-kun & Amagi-kun (3/5)

A Shoulder to Cry On (4/5)

About Youth (5/5)

Light On Me (4/5)

Minato's Laundromat (4/5)

History 2: Crossing the Line (3/5)

History 1: Obsessed (2/5)

Dark Blue Kiss (3/5)

Together With Me (3/5)

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble (5/5)

My Engineer (3/5)

Never Let Me Go (4/5)

My Only 12% (4/5)

Black Knight (3/5)

Love Mate (3/5)

Until We Meet Again (4/5)

Love By Chance (4/5)

Bad Buddy (4/5)

Between Us (3/5)

Here We Meet Again (3/5)

Secret Crush on You (2/5)

Love Tractor (2/5)

My Ride (3/5)

Star in My Mind (2/5)

La Pluie (4/5)

2gether (3/5)

Destined (3/5)

Hidden Love (4/5)

Tokyo in April is… (4/5)

Revenant (5/5)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (5/5)

Sing My Crush (3/5)

Bad Guys (3/5)

Love and Redemption (5/5)

Oh! Boarding House (3/5)

Stay By My Side (3/5)

Jun & Jun (3/5)

Fake It Till You Make It (3/5)

The Legend of Zhuohua (3/5)

My Lovely Liar (3/5)

My Journey to You (4/5)

Second Chance (3/5)

Lost in Translation (3/5)

My Personal Weatherman (3/5)

Wedding Plan (4/5)

Laws of Attraction (3/5)

Bon Appetit (3/5)

Oxygen (2/5)

Why R U? (Korea) (3/5)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (4/5)

Hidden Agenda (3/5)

Behind Cut (3/5)

History 4: Close to You (4/5)

Destined with You (3/5)

Dangerous Romance (3/5)

Story of Kunning Palace (4/5)

Perfect Marriage Revenge (3/5)

My Dear Gangster Oppa (2/5)

A Breeze of Love (2/5)

I Cannot Reach You (4/5)

Be Mine Superstar (3/5)

A Journey to Love (5/5)

Ai Long Nhai (3/5)

#drama review

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fuckthisshitimin · 6 months ago

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@edenfrompluto, you asked my thoughts on "Connor Dyer", aka "CD09663", aka "Blorbo From Our Spreadsheet"...

Thank you so much for asking. Took me a few days to answer because 1) I don't have any info to add to the discussion, only speculations and not new ones 2) This made me want to re-listen to everything. Instead I re-read all the transcripts in a haste.

The "Alice's deadname" theory is cool alright but the "Alice's secret 2nd brother" theory? It is a punch in the gut and I love it.

Unfortunately, my ears don't catch the glitches in the audio that may-or-may-not indicate lying (unless I try very very hard) and I didn't find transcripts that included all of those (if there are, please send a link!!!! someone making the lord's work out there?) so I can't use that to speculate.

What we know about Alice:

she's been working here the longest, almost a decade.

she went to Nottingham with Sam (does this count as extrapolating?)

she is very insistent Sam does the job, nothing less (!!!), nothing more

both her parents died after college, and then they dropped out of touch with Sam

she hooked Sam up with the job

She's in the same age group as Sam so somewhere in her thirties, which means she got the job soon after uni - and she went to a good, hard-to-get-in university - a job Lena said "it would be difficult not to be [overqualified for]". If I was to make a timeline, I'd say she started here after her parents' death (and it wouldn't be weird if their death was weird), so, around the time they dropped out.

Now, when The Magnus Institute is first brought up, she doesn't act like she's familiar with the name, so Sam probably hadn't mentioned it to her before.

Alice very clearly signifies that she doesn't want Sam sniffing around. Though, if Celia's word is to be trusted, Alice described Sam as being "an overachiever, obsessive, a bit repressed, nosey, kind of a recluse, and very easy to wind up." This is not the profile of a friend I'd want to recommend to my "horror government file-first-ask-questions-never" job. The commands "just do the work, don't think about it, don't do research" are in direct contradiction with how she sees him. Now, he was being pathetic and not having a job, so desperate times... Though we have no idea what this "most pathetic vague post" was, and if it mentioned "the incident" at work enough to make her think he had an Encounter, it could have played into the decision.

I really don't have much to add to the theory except how compelling it is; if she is here to find out more about her brother (maybe after discovering things about him when her parents died?), why not let Sam in on things? If it's to protect him, why drag him here in the first place?

Also, Alice has some relationship with the computers here. She's the only one on good terms with Colin, got along with Teddy enough to still have a drink with him after he quit, named the voices - Gwen accuses her of finding "speakers" just to get on her nerves, so she thinks that's something Alice can somewhat control.

So, yeah. Thank you for asking my thoughts, though it's more about Alice than this mysterious "Connor".

Also, I don't know how hard it is to get a name change in the UK, or how hard it was in the 2000s/2010s, but being currently in my 20s, I know the deadname of most trans people I've had long-term intimate relationship with, either needed them to send packages, saw them accidentally on official stuff, heard them being deadnamed by family, some of my friends also heard and saw my deadname when my school made a mistake... So if the document Sam recieved is the one we have and "Connor Dyer" is Alice's deadname, there might have been a chance he'd recognized it? I don't know. Thinking about this has been fun while waiting for the new episode.

THAT DAMNED SPREADSHEET

DOES ANYONE TO HEAR ABOUT MY ADVENTURE IN THE SPREADSHEET?

Cause I'm pretty damned sure I know what getting "High" on Milgram means.

Talking about his being rejected by the Magnus Institute, Samama said:

[That definitely feels like when it all started. […] Well, after that it all just went downhill. Didn’t get into Oxford, so I went to Nottingham.]

And that does not sound like what one would say about something that happened when they were, like, eight. So I went to take another look at the spreadsheet. Of course I was wrong, because The Magnus Institute burned in 1999, so he couldn’t have been more than nine, but I found out other stuff.

A thing that bugs me in how I’ve read some discussing the spreadsheet is that Sam has the highest empathy score, and that it made him “too nice/good” for the Institute’s purposes (not necessarily this directly but it has been implied, including in the “recruiting future avatar theories, and… well, implying that low empathy makes you more likely to become a literal monster is quite disgusting, actually).

First, I think we got one thing wrong on the Kohlberg column. Since they are kids, it doesn’t seem shocking that they’d be around stages 1 to 3 of his “Six stages of moral development”; but it doesn’t say Stage 1, 2 or 3 it says Level 1, 2 or 3, and I don’t think it’s a mistake.

His six stages are divided into three levels: Pre-Conventional (1,2), Conventional (3,4) and Post-Conventional (5,6).

People in stages 1 and 2 (Level 1) have a sense of morality that is linked to the direct consequences of their actions on themself — stage 1 is “don’t hit the dog because you’ll be punished” and stage 2 “give her half your banana and you’ll get half her chocolate bar” (very simplified).

People on stages 3 and 4 (Level 2) have internalized their surrounding’s sense of morality and act accordingly — stage 3 being “I’ll get a good grade in being a person by following the rules” and stage 4 “the rules I learnt are true and real, failing to follow them is Wrong and upholding them is Right” (idem).

People on stages 5 and 6 (Level 3) have a personal sense of morality that is critical of societal norms — stage 5 being “there are rules, and those rules can and should be changed through compromise to be fair to the greatest number”, and stage 6 “unfair rules should not be followed, direct consequences like punishment are irrelevant when it comes to deciding to do what it right” (very, very, very simplified).

If I’m right, the spreadsheet is so much more understandable.

First thing I wanted to do was put numbers on how singular Sam’s results are:

He gets “High” on both Milgram and Asch when the overwhelming tendency is that the higher your other scores are, the more likely you are to get “Low”, and the numbers were, indeed, that among the 49 children who scored “High” on both, 33 were in Piaget’s stage 1, 15 were in stage 2 and only Sam was in stage 3.

The 33 kids who were in stage 1 are the opposite of Sam:

(Abbreviating so it’s easier to compare values but P=Piaget, K=Kohlberg, Ps=Prosocial, S-A=Sally-Anne, U=Ultimatum, EI=Empathy Index)

33K: (P) Stage 1 :: (K) Level 1 :: (Ps) Low :: (S-A) Fail :: (U) Unfair :: (EI) ≥62%

Sam: (P) Stage 3 :: (K) Level 3 :: (Ps) High :: (S-A) Pass :: (U) Fair :: (EI) 98%

So that’s weird. And when I went to filter by Kohlberg levels… absolutely no kid that was on “Level 2” scored High on Milgram and Asche.

In fact, among the 99 kids on Kohlberg Level 2, none got “Low” for prosocial, none got “High” on Milgram, only 2 got “High” on Asch.

And when we read “Level 2 (Conventional Morality) instead of “Stage 2 (Pre-Conventional Morality, what benefits me directly)” we can make sense of this:

“To reason in a conventional way is to judge the morality of actions by comparing them to society's views and expectations. […] Conventional morality is characterized by an acceptance of society's conventions concerning right and wrong. At this level an individual obeys rules and follows society's norms even when there are no consequences for obedience or disobedience. Adherence to rules and conventions is somewhat rigid, however, and a rule's appropriateness or fairness is seldom questioned.” (by Kohlberg himself, from Wikipedia)

Adults can be Level 2, by the way. Adults can even be Level 1. Subjects of the Milgram experiment are displaying peak Level 2 behavior.

“High” on Milgram is “Did not electrocute/Disobeyed”

“High” on Asch is “Did not conform”

GOSH THAT IS SATISFYING

Bonus: the average empathy index is 79,1%, the median is 82% with 116 kids below 82%, 13 kids at 82% and 120 kids above. Of the 116 kids below the median, 11 got “Low” on Milgram. Of the 13 median kids, 3 got “Low” on Milgram. Of the 120 kids above, 91 got “Low”.

If we take the average instead, of the 163 kids more empathetic than the average, 100 got “Low” on Milgram, and 2 got “High”, of the 86 less empathetic than the average, 5 got “Low” and 59 for “High” on Milgram.

So actually here, low empathy is inversely correlated to willingness to hurt if ordered to.

And it makes sense. Low empathy is often associated with anti-social personality disorder, autism, depression — and you know what’s very associated with anti-social personality disorder? Disobedience.

Now I have to make another post about the weird kids in red's names.

#tmagp spoilers #long post

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