#the special deck includes one (1) card that reads “admit you love the doctor or draw 25” and that's how tooth!master happens /j

[codemagister]

Needless to say, I won.

Brb gonna go challenge the Toymaker to UNO.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 14 Review: The Lady Doth Detest Too Much

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Another day has almost passed. Another day and another entry in this death diary. Oh Erica, my darling, still there is no way that you have come back to me.

Having grown bored(?) of recording his tape journal, Jean Paul has switched to writing a more traditional diary instead, which he stores in the crypt. I prefer the tape diary: Jean Paul’s tape recorder is retro and says “I am a wealthy eccentric” in a way that a store-bought blank book does not.

Alison comes to visit Jean Paul in the crypt and be a Debbie Downer, insisting that there is and will never be a way to revive Erica. If this were real life, she would probably be right--most scientists do not believe it possible to resurrect a cryogenically-preserved corpse--but this is Strange Paradise, a show with living and undead characters who are over 300 years old, portraits that appear and disappear at will, and a villain whose cause of death was a voodoo doll. Alison herself has called the island “evil” in previous episodes and blamed Jacques for her distress there, so she has no reason not to believe in the slight chance of Erica’s resurrection. I think that her disbelief is just wishful thinking, since, despite a few other glaring flaws (namely, the “on this island I am God” thing, a short temper, and a tendency to occasionally use too much self-tanner), he is a highly desirable catch. And, based on her reaction to her dream about Jacques, she desires him, too.

And now for Flaw #4: he’s passive-aggressive. Jean Paul, you know very well what she was implying, and it was *not* that you should commit suicide. She wants you to live, and for you to love her.

She tells Jean Paul, “you’re too young...to let Erica’s loss of life completely destroy yours,” and he responds, “Without her, I have no life.” I do think that he should take the advice that Jacques gave him episodes earlier and sleep with Alison--once they both get past the whole in-law thing, that is.

She enters the Great Hall and approaches Jacques’ portrait. “Why am I drawn to you, Jacques Eloi des Mondes?” she asks. “Or am I drawn to the man who resembles you so?” The portrait vanishes, she freaks out again over her crush on her brother-in-law, and, a moment later, Jacques enters through a doorway other than the one that leads to the crypt. (How exactly is Maljardin laid out? I thought the doors on stage right led outside, while the upstage ones led to the crypt.) Jacques comments about her being a “secret admirer” of him, and she denies it:

Alison: "Come now, Jean Paul! Just because I happen to find the picture magnetizing, that's not to say I would find the man." 

Jacques: "Perhaps he would have been even more captivating in the flesh."

Alison: "With his reputation? Raxl says he was a murderer!"  

Jacques: "History says he was a lover."

Alison: “A strange combination.”

Jacques: “Strange man. Attractive, repulsive, add it up. It’s almost like looking into a mirror.”

Yum!

Alison gets some dialogue paraphrased from earlier episodes about how Jean Paul acts like two different men, which Jacques handwaves: “I would be a poor imitation of a man to be dispensing sorrow and gloom all the time,” he says. “We have to have a little happiness to pop into our lives.” He pours some booze from the decanter and offers it to Alison, who refuses because she has a brain and that brain tells her that accepting drinks from unpredictable guys is a bad idea. So Jacques keeps the glass for himself and proceeds to gleefully poison Jean Paul’s liver.

“To a long stay on Maljardin,” he toasts.

Alison sighs. “Seems I have no choice about that.”

“No, Alison. You are completely the mistress of your own fate.”

“You said that you won’t allow me to leave!” she protests.

“Well, it’s simply because you’re a physician. Due to the unfortunate demise of Dr. Menkin,”--he makes a certain fake-innocent face as though he thinks that will make her not suspect him of murder--”I need you to advise and assist for Erica’s sake.”

She’s not buying it.

After some more recap, Alison remarks again about the changes in Jean Paul’s demeanor: “When I first met you and Erica first introduced us, your life was dedicated to spreading joy. Now you seem dedicated to just the opposite.”

I don’t know what this silly acting face is supposed to signify. That the buzz from his liquor just kicked in, maybe? That he’s fantasizing about shagging Alison on the couch in full view of Raxl? I’m going to guess both.

After the commercial break, Jacques passes in front of the camera specifically so we can see his ring. (Why did the directors and/or writer think that the audience needed to be constantly reminded when he's controlling Jean Paul?) “Alison, I have a secret which must remain a secret, and the people who are here all could possibly reveal it,” he explains.

“So, we’re all prisoners?” she asks. “Holly, Elizabeth, Tim Stanton?”

“And whoever else comes to this island. But ‘prisoners’ is such a harsh word, Alison, now. Actually, I prefer the technology ‘detained guests.’“

I love this line, probably because the "blackmail is such an ugly word" trope always amuses me. (Some other people call it a cliché, but "cliché" is too harsh a word. I prefer "trope," and not a discredited one, either.) Also, a line flub (which is perhaps also too harsh--I prefer "creative line interpretation"). I had to listen to it twice to determine whether it was really a line flub creative line interpretation or just YouTube misunderstanding Jacques’ Mid-Atlantic accent again (since obviously he means "terminology"), but he definitely says "technology."

So she, the Marshalls, and Tim are “detained guests,” whom Jacques is keeping there as a “precaution” until Erica is resurrected. She’s not convinced. His flimsy justification of his behavior complete, he re-focuses his energy on trying to seduce Alison, but she won’t have it. “I find you and everything you’ve done distasteful and revolting,” she insists, and he responds with the title of this review:

He’s making the same face as earlier, only it actually makes sense this time. Maybe the buzzed expression was actually supposed to be an evil smirk?

Oh, but just before that, he makes Bissits Face™. Lots of silly acting faces in this one!

Jacques starts talking about a doctor in Copenhagen who specialized in organ transplants, making me wonder how the hell Jacques knows about that. Are we missing part of the conversation during his meeting with the Cryonics Society in Episode 4 where Dr. Patton or one of his assistants told him about it? Did he read about it, perhaps while possessing Jean Paul? Did he spy on Jean Paul reading something about it? Or does he know because he’s supposedly the Devil and therefore knows everything? That would also explain how Jacques knows phrases like “jack you up by the bootstraps”* and why he references other modern things like merry-go-rounds** in later episodes. But wasn’t he trapped in his grave on Maljardin, unable to re-enter the world of the living until Jean Paul removed the silver pin from the conjure doll’s head? When he was trapped and presumably stuck in Hell, how did he learn about technological advances in the world above? So many unanswered questions and plot holes. I think I’ve spent way too much time analyzing this show.

Cut to a filler/recap scene with Matt and Vangie where he confirms what everyone surely already suspects about him:

He’s gone from full-time minister and part-time stalker to full-time stalker.

Meanwhile, Jacques has hijacked (hi-Jacqued?) Jean Paul’s tape journal and records a threatening message for him in a deliciously menacing voice:

Jacques: "Now hear this, Jean Paul. The next time you record your little message for your sweet darling Erica, you will make sure if you ever hope to see her again or that she will ever hear this message again that you do as I bid--which means with me in possession of your soul, you'll see to it that your guests follow my every request. And for you, that is a command!"

Back at the French Leave Café, Vangie tells Matt that, as a minister, he needs to travel to Maljardin “where [he] will eventually be” to fight the evil there. I forgot until I re-watched this episode that she said she was related to Raxl, which I’ll note in this entry because it only comes up once (that I remember). She also makes the baffling claim that Jacques is the Antichrist, which doesn’t make any sense. The plot of this show, both up until this point and after, has nothing to do with the Book of Revelation beyond both involving the Devil. I’m guessing that is another creative line interpretation and the actual line from the script is “the Devil walks on that island.”

I love her blouse. So much ruffly goodness!

She gives him a deck of tarot cards to take to Raxl, and he expresses some apprehension since he still considers Vangie’s divination witchcraft. Nevertheless, he reluctantly agrees, mostly because Holly is there and he claims he genuinely wants to help her. Perhaps he does genuinely care about her, but he will always be Reverend Stalker to me.

Meanwhile, back on Maljardin...

ROFL

Jacques lights a fire because it’s not hot enough for him on Maljardin and things need to be much hotter Oh, wait, it’s actually Jean Paul lighting the fire to “help cheer up the room a little bit.” Never mind. Maybe they should have included some in-your-face THIS IS JEAN PAUL shots to go with their THIS IS JACQUES ones. But it doesn’t matter. He isn’t wearing the ring anymore and he’s back to talking like Jean Paul and making normal facial expressions again. “You’ve changed again!” Alison exclaims. “He is possessing you! If I believed in witchcraft, I would believe Raxl.” It sounds like you already believe, Alison, but aren’t willing to admit it.

Jean Paul apologizes to her for imprisoning her and making her put up with all Raxl’s shouting about the Devil. She, however, says that she “no longer consider[s] [her]self a prisoner” and plans to stay, because she is concerned about him and his well-being, especially when Jacques possesses him. The next exchange is quite sweet, so I will transcribe the dialogue:

Jean Paul: “Perhaps things now will be different. You know, for the first time since Erica’s death, I feel almost like a human being. I think I can even sleep now.”

Alison: “Just because I’ve said that I will stay here on Maljardin for a while?”

Jean Paul: “No. Because of what it means: that I’ll have a companion again.”

Awwww.

He leaves to go record a message on his tape recorder journal: Alison will stay, my darling. She said for a while, but her stay will be extended again and again as long as her presence lends even the tiniest margin of safety for you. Well, there’s many other things, too, about Alison: the fact that she volunteered...

*outro drums and flute*

During his recording, the ending theme cuts him off and we don't get to hear the rest of his message. WTF? I swear, the writers (especially in the last four weeks of the Maljardin arc) sometimes act like they hate the Jean Paul/Alison pairing.

Overall, a genuinely good episode. Not one of the most exciting, but still a nice one with some important character development for both Alison and Jean Paul. I just wish they wouldn’t have cut off his speech at the end.

I probably won’t be posting another review later this week unless I get really eager to write about the next episode. It’s another important one, featuring the elusive Conjure Man who so far has only been alluded to, and there’s some stuff in it that I find interesting. But I’ve been re-watching early Desmond Hall and privately taking the piss out of things like Ron Sproat’s blatant self-plagiarism and pretty much everything to do with Cort, so I’ve been a little distracted. I’ll see you sometime next week--probably.

Notes

* “Jack up” in the metaphorical sense dates from 1904, while “pull oneself up by the bootstraps” dates from just seventy years earlier and may have been loosely inspired by a legend about the Baron von Münchhausen. A man from the 17th century would not be familiar with either phrase.

** In the 16th and 17th centuries, the term carrousel already existed, but it referred to a kind of horse ballet and not to a ride. The ride gets its name from the carrousel.

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