#the song is Metric's lost kitten if that tells you anything

[bitchfitch]

people who know my habits can prolly guess what this means but for the uninitiated: when I draw these fuckers dancing it means a new comms post is incoming

[lazysublimeengineer]

lost kitten

Summary: Halfway starts with happiness for me

Halfway house, lost kitten in the street

Characters: Ranpo Edogawa & Nakajima Atsushi

(A/N: I don’t own anything from this franchise. Respectful ownership belongs to Metric for this song and Kafka Asagiri for this manga).

Don't say yes if you can't say no

Victim of the system, say it isn't so

Squatted on the doorstep, swollen on the blow

Leaving without you, can't say no

Nothing gets past Ranpo’s keen, chartreuse irises.

So, when his line of sight grazed over Atsushi’s form the next time the other placed the stacked of papers onto his desk with an awkward smile on his lips and a pure sparkle of curiosity pooling around his amethyst eyes, he’s quick to dismissed him as a lanky male with an airheaded disposition and a terrible person who can’t say no to other people even if he doesn’t want to do it.

A doormat with no self-preservation.

Atsushi’s existence wasn’t worth thinking about so he focused on other things.

Even when the other was kidnapped back then he didn’t hold back on his own opinion of questioning the agency’s want of saving him when it’s Atsushi’s fault for falling into that kind of situation in the first place.

Because of his stupid kindness. Naivete. And didn’t have an ounce of self-regard for himself.

Even if Fukuzawa had persuaded him successfully back then to rescue the young lad, a twinge of acerbity pooled within him as he complied with his team’s wishes and successfully rescued him with his great assistance.

Ranpo had tried to dismiss it and paid attention to other important variables of their mission even though numerous emotions had arisen within him which had his mind and heart swam into pools of confoundment.

Halfway starts with happiness for me Halfway house, lost kitten in the street Hit me where it hurts, I'm coming home to lose Kitten on the catwalk, high-heeled shoes

Boarding on the train was a pain in the ass.

There were a lot of things that needed to be considered which always made Ranpo’s mind came into a screeching halt when processing more important information inside his head.

But most of all he hated it when he had to stare at the railway map at the train station like it was an object consisted of alien language.

For all his cleverness and intelligence, he had a terrible spatial awareness when it came to directions.

Most of the time he loathed some missions that required for him to take on the train.

“Ranpo-san…?” Atsushi’s hesitant voice in the background reached his line of hearing and halted his thoughts and concentration.

“Yeah?” He asked noncommittally.

“I already bought some train tickets so we’re good to go…” The other’s voice faltered slightly at the end which caught Ranpo’s attention and turned around to face him.

Ranpo saw the look of hesitation and slight embarrassment coloring the other’s face but what caught more of his attention was the other holding a bottle of—

“Ramune?” He voiced out.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. I figured that you might be bored and probably thirsty from the heat and waiting for too long because of the long lines at the booth. So, this one’s for you Ranpo-san but I’m not sure if you’d want a drink like this—.”

“Open it and give it to me.” Ranpo cut him off lightly.

Atushi blinked at him owlishly before complying to his words and twisted the cap off from the lid. The soft, sizzling sound of the soda permeated his ears as soon as Atsushi opened it and handed it to him.

Ranpo took it in silence and drank from its contents. As the other was mostly self-conscious around him to notice anything else, one of his eyes opened slightly and let his dazzling emerald orbs bored right through the other’s soul.

He guessed that lost kittens had an interesting side after all.

No more hard-headed Saturdays They got it, they want it, they give it away Tell me one thing you would never do I was looking for a hooker when I found you

Ranpo was used to it by now.

The incompetence and inefficiency of the police in this place was something that irked him in the past but he grew mostly out of it and regarded them with a cold indifference and distaste.

But this was one of those days that his backhanded comments and smart aleck remarks had made Ranpo landed himself in hot waters with one of the police officers.

He didn’t look like it but he had a basic knowledge of self-defense techniques from Fukuzawa himself which wasn’t to be trifled either as he was trained by a previous assassin.

Besides Ranpo view the other people who resorted to violence as a retaliation as a lower being than himself as he found them dull and lacking in sharpness in thinking that fists could solve everything.

Ranpo was ready to block out the other’s officer’s incoming fists when someone blocked it already much to his brief surprise.

His eyes grew wide for a moment as he stared at Atsushi’s paws effectively caught the other’s fist and blocked his attack.

“I’d appreciate it if we don’t resort to violence sir. Especially not hitting on Ranpo-san who’s currently lending his hand and skill as a detective in solving this case.” Atsushi’s firm voice rang out.

It was rare to see and hear Atsushi being like that.

He knew that he got some hidden claws but it’s usually overshadowed by his meekness and insecure behavior most of the time.

“Tch. Whatever. Don’t think that both of you are some hotshots just because your talented people.” The officer sneered as he withdrew his fists and walked away grumbling to himself.

And just like that.

Everything went back to normal.

You've got my eyes, you've got my eyes You'll never be mine, ah, but you've got my eyes

“I can defend myself earlier.” Ranpo’s casual voice shattered the deafening silence as they’re both walked back to the train station after Ranpo solved the case at the pier.

Orangey hues spread out through the sky as the sun was already setting down in the late afternoon.

“I know Ranpo-san… But deducing something from a complicated crime such as this in just less than a few minutes is a great talent itself even greater than my own honestly… And people such as the police officers should learn to respect and appreciate that…” Atsushi paused and looked at him with a serenely downcast expression on his face, a fragile yet smile of understanding marring his features.

It made Ranpo paused gazed at him with a brief expression of being taken aback for a few seconds.

And that’s when Ranpo knew.

Atsushi was one of the genuinely accepting and selfless people he had met in his lifetime.

When you lie, I cover it up When you hide, I cover it up When you cry, I cover it up When you come undone, I cover it up

Ranpo had realized his initial lukewarm reception towards him.

Because he saw his younger self in him.

Naïve. Accepting. Kind.

It disgusted him.

But he was more disgusted at himself.

He had turned into some jaded, cynical being disguised in the faux sweetness of his confectionaries and quick remarks to other people.

Emotions hadn’t been his strong suit and Ranpo knew that his sharp tongue and disposition with other people had always got him into trouble rather out of it.

But an unknown, niggling feeling within him had urged to take a good look at Atsushi and pay more attention to him.

And his intrigue grew with each moment passed them by.

So pent-up, I was coming home to you Happy in the nighttime, howlin' at the moon Sippin' on a cocktail, drinking in the loo There's something about you I hold on to

Days trickled by that turned into weeks.

They both found themselves in being partnered often in missions together.

Mostly because aside Atsushi being too kind in refusing tasks and partners being assigned to him, he was one of the few people who possessed a genuine patience that can rival a saint when it came to dealing with Ranpo’s fractious personality.

Their silence inside the train rides slowly turned into occasional small talks: mostly with Ranpo commenting idly on his observations about other people and ranting about everything else. Until it turned into a two-way street of conversation between the two of them.

Ranpo found out even with their stark differences, they have oblique similarities.

They’re fiercely protective of people they care about even if it’s in the form of different entire beings.

Opinions of the people they greatly respected and admire about were both important to them.

When the train ride was over, Ranpo had looked over the horizon where the sun was setting peacefully.

A maelstrom of emotions was awakening within him as he stayed longer by Atsushi side.

And he didn’t want it to end.

When you lie, I cover it up When you hide, I cover it up When you cry, I cover it up When you're blind, I cover it up

(A/N: Yeah, pretty damn late getting into this fandom. But what can I say? Ranatsu is the first rare ship that caught my attention in this franchise, and I just had to get this out of my system. Reviews are amusing so let me hear them from you).

[scapegrace74-blog]

Satellite Mind

A/N  I can’t stop myself.  I’m weak!  Weak!  The Saorsa-sequel is coming along, but the Metric universe just won’t leave me alone.  This story takes place just after Lost Kitten and Gimme Sympathy.  Previous fics are available on my AO3 page.

Oh, and mild warning for foul language, if that’s not your thing.

The song by Metric that inspired the title and a few lines is here.

January 14, 2017, Spittalfields, England

“I’m happy for you, Geillis, really.  I mean... Cartagena, wow.  You can, what?  Dabble in the emerald market?”

Her friend saw right through Claire’s glass face to her latent fear of abandonment.  Fiercely independent, a precious handful of friendships and habits anchored her in the world.  Without those tethers, she lived with a nameless dread that she might spin off into the void, lost in a great emptiness.

“Dinna lie tae me, Claire Beauchamp.  Ye havna left yer bed in the twenty-four hours since I told ye.  Ye’re jus’ starin’ up at the ceiling.  Ye ken I wouldna ever want tae leave ya were it no’ for someone truly special.  Juan Carlos, he’s...”

“Built like a stevedore and hung like a stallion, I believe were your exact words,” she interrupted, smiling despite herself at Geillis’ moonstruck infatuation.  The redhead had met the Columbian businessman at a New Year’s celebration and now, two weeks’ later, had dropped the bombshell that she was planning on following him back across the Atlantic in the spring, leaving Claire without a roommate just as her income was nearly halved by the commencement of her medical studies.

“Aye, he is that.  Everyone thinks I’m mad, but it’s the real thing between he and I.  I jus’ feel it.  Ye’ll ken the feeling yerself one day.  But I willna leave ye high an’ dry.  I’ll see ye settled, a’fore I go.”

Claire doubted that very much.  It was Geillis’ name on the lease, which meant that as soon as she gave notice their landlord was free to increase the rent.   Spittalfields was moving upmarket as one dilapidated industrial building after another was converted into lofts and chic office space for the urban gentry.  There was no way she’d be able to afford the new payment at their current flat, even if she could find another roommate she could stomach.  And moving out on her own was equally out of the question.   The ghost of her past mistakes haunted her most when she was alone.

***

February 2, 2017, Royal London Hospital, England

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”  A metal spoon clattered into the break-room sink and a few other nurses glanced over, trying to decide if bloodshed between the two was imminent.

“Tis is a matter of some debate,” Geillis replied, undaunted.  She’d expected this reaction, which was why she’d cornered Claire during the short overlap between their shifts when she couldn’t run away.  At least the British Army had left Afghanistan, although South Sudan was still a possibility.

“James Fraser.  You approached Jamie Fraser, without my permission I might add, to find out whether he still had a room to let.  I cannot fucking believe you, Geillis Duncan!   Where do you get off...”

“First,” Geillis interrupted the predicted tirade by holding up her index finger, “you yerself remarked on his lovely flat, and how fastidious he was.  Second, tis in the neighbourhood an’ right around the corner from tha’ chipstand ye love.  Third, ye’re both shift workers and will hardly see each other.  Fourth, if ye do bump inta the wee fox cub when he’s runnin’ about in his skivvies, weel, thas a hardship many a lass would be willing tae face in yer place.  And fifth,” here Geillis raised her palm and outstretched fingers right in front of Claire’s nose, “ye can afford it.”

Claire huffed, but was otherwise silent.  She couldn’t deny that Geillis’ points were mostly valid, but she hated the idea of accepting charity from Jamie, of being seen as a burden.  If she’d approached him herself, perhaps...

“Wait a second.  How did you even know Jamie still had a room to let?  Have you been in contact with him?”  Something toxic simmered in her belly.   Geillis and Jamie texting each other.   Talking about her behind her back.  Sharing intimacies from which she was excluded.   It was a flashback of a feeling that hit too close to home for comfort.

“Och, no.  Didna I tell ya?  I ken the lad’s uncle, Dougal Mackenzie.  Bald as a billiard cue, but tha’ man can fuck for hours.  I remember one time, we were...”

“Oh my god, Geillis, please tell me you didn’t cheat on Jamie with his uncle!”

“It canna be cheatin’ if ye were ne’er together tae begin wi’,” Geillis pronounced.  “Ye’re too ecclesiastical by half, Beauchamp.  T’anyway, I hadna met Dougal when yon lad and I had our... dalliance.  But imagine ma surprise when I showed up tae meet Dougal at Bethall Fire Station in a wee red dress tighter than a nun’s chuff, an’ standin’ right next tae him is the fox cub, face turning bright as a forge.  Twas an awkward moment tae be sure, even measurin’ by my very high standards.”

***

February 13, 2017, Spittalfields, England

“Ye’ll be wantin’ tae look about the kitchen, I reckon.  Twas the only room ye didna really see, when ye were here last.  An’ the storage locker, but there’s nought down there but sportin’ equipment tha’ reeks tae high heaven.  No’ that I dinna try tae wash out the stench, mind you.”  

Jamie resolved to limit himself to two word sentences for the rest of the tour.   Anything more was too great a risk to his dignity.

“It’s lovely, especially with the morning sunlight streaming through the windows.  How much is the monthly heating bill again?”

It was almost Valentine’s Day and Claire still didn’t know where she was going to live come March.  She’d flipped through free rental magazines and scrolled a few message boards, but hadn’t made any serious efforts to secure a new home.   She told herself she was too busy preparing for medical school and working full-time, but in the back closet of her mind she allowed the idea of moving in with Jamie to take root.   

Then, last night while drifting through the deep fog just before sleep she’d had a thought.   Living with Jamie would finally put an end to all of Geillis’ awkward match-making efforts.  If they were roommates, they couldn’t be anything else besides.  Rolling over and grabbing for her phone before she could second-guess herself, she fired off a quick text to the number Geillis had added to her Contacts under Wee Fox Cub.   Despite the late hour, two minutes later he texted back.   And now here she was, seriously contemplating the impossible.

They were sitting across from each other on the couch, negotiating terms.  Claire found herself making ridiculous demands, somehow hoping that Jamie would balk at the last minute and this perilous adventure would come to its natural end.

“I’ll be studying when I’m not on shift, so loud noise and music is a deal breaker for me,” she listed while eyeing the bowl of trail mix set out on the coffee table.

“I own a good pair o’ headphones, and my sister would tell ye there’s a reason I dinna sing outside o’ the shower.   Did ye want some?”  Jamie extended the bowl in her direction, but she shook her head.

“If I’m to live here, the flat will need to be ours equally.  I know you lived here first, but I’d be paying half the rent.  That means we share common elements down the middle.  Half the cabinet space, half of the refrigerator and freezer.”  She looked around the main room, where it was obvious Jamie did most of his living.  “I’d want to put my desk below the window there, where there’s lots of natural light.  I don’t want to always be hidden in my bedroom like some low-rent AirBnB guest.”

“O’ course,” Jamie quickly agreed.  “I can clear out some of my books and such from the shelves as weel.  And I was thinkin’ of movin’ the Xbox inta my room.  There’s ano’er TV in there, ye ken, so ye won’t be exposed tae my tears while I’m watchin’ Six Nations matches.”

“That won’t be necessary, Jamie.  I really don’t have many things.  Some holdover to my years living out of a suitcase with my uncle, I suppose.”

He was being altogether too agreeable.  It was time to break out the big guns.

“We need to talk about one last thing.  Some might think it usual for a young woman who is single, living with a young man who is single to feel a certain...”

“Wha’ makes ye think I’m single?” Jamie interrupted, and she snapped her mouth shut in surprise.

“Well, with your history with Geillis, and I’ve never seen you with someone, I just assumed...” she trailed off, fighting down the urge to bolt.

Jamie laughed.  “I’m teasin’ ye, Claire.  O’ course I’m single.  Do ye think I’d be contemplating inviting a bonnie lass tae share my flat if I were spoken for?”

“Well, that’s just the thing, isn’t it?  People might make assumptions.  One of us might do so as well.   Feelings would get hurt.  So I think it’s important to be very clear at the outset.  You seem like a lovely man, but there will never be anything between us.”

“Because of my history wi’ Geillis, y’mean?” Jamie asked.

“Well, that as well.  But also because I’ll be far too busy with work and my studies to sustain any kind of relationship, least of all with someone who, when things fall apart, would be in a position to leave me without a roof over my head.  I’ve been there before, and I don’t intend to ever go back.”

“Aye, I see.” Jamie nodded absently, obviously digesting this large morsel of information and not finding it entirely to his taste.

“So that’s my final stipulation.  I don’t mind if you have overnight visitors. You’re a grown man, and you can act as you please.  But we need to agree that any kind of romantic relationship between us is off-limits.”

Claire grabbed a handful of snacks and popped them into her mouth.  She observed Jamie as she chewed.  In retrospect, this was a brilliant move on her part.  If Jamie accepted, she would have solved for both her housing crisis and her ambivalent feelings towards the Scot.  And if he declined, well, that would tell her something too.

Squaring his shoulders, Jamie extended his hand.

“We’re agreed.”

And that was how Jamie and Claire became just roommates.

[songparade]

thought this was actually a nice one; @aredhels​ tagged me to list my favorite lyrics from 10 random songs on my playlist(s). i shall pass this on to (pursue if you feel so or if you’re as bored as i am) @tukkakoskelo, @simplefuit​, @stonedzier , @nalle , @seevro & @lorunloppu. some of you whom i rarely (or never) talk to, but i like seeing you on my dash 💐

1. the maccabees - grew up at midnight: sheltered in our own worlds // we’d watch the rain right through

2. the kooks - always where i need to be: i'm a man, i'm a man, i’m a man on the scene // i'm a man, and i can be so obscene

3. wild party - lo-fi children: no place can urbanize our lives

4. troye sivan - the good side: the people danced to the sound of your heart // the world sang along to it falling apart

5. jake bugg - gimme the love: coming up fast, cut glass, the next take // better put your sticker on cause you gonna break

6. i dont know how but they found me - modern day cain: oh but the deepest of convictions are the darkest positions // little remissions for the varicose veins

7. duran duran - last chance on the stairway: maybe it's something said in a movie or // you could've said last night

8. the smiths - bigmouth strikes again: now I know how joan of arc felt // as the flames rose to her roman nose // and her walkman started to melt

9. metric - lost kitten: halfway starts with happiness for me // halfway house, lost kitten in the street

10. mutemath - hit parade: tell me something, tell me anything // is there one thing that could mean everything

[lesbovalentine]

i’ll be your strength- a lucina/severa playlist

this is mostly from severa’s point of view, honestly. @ intsys you have so many little things on them, let them support (little things like: severa did lucinas hair for her marth disguise, severa ready to fight a god to let lucina survive in future past 3, the drama cd that reveals severa was one of the first to choose to go with lucina, same drama cd i think lucina saying severa is her source of strength..............)

listen on youtube or playmoss | tracklist under the cut

boats and birds - gregory and the hawk

When I turn jet black  And you show off your light I live to let you shine I live to let you shine

i'll run to you - pentatonix

I've been settling scores I've been fighting so long But I've lost your war And our kingdom is gone

the void - metric

What can I say I stayed up to prove I can keep up I stayed up to prove I can keep up with you

love like you - steven universe (cover by jayn)

I always thought I might be bad Now I’m sure that its true ‘cause I think you’re so good And I’m nothing like you

ne me quitte pas  - regina spektor

And not recognize the aging street And think about how the things were right When they were young and veins were tight And if you are the ghost of Christmas past Then won't you stay the night?

she keeps me warm - mary lambert

What's your middle name? Do you hate your job? Do you fall in love too easily? What's your favorite word? You like kissing girls? Can I call you baby?

creep - amanda palmer

Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want. You're so fucking special I wish I was special.

muscle memory - lights

You call and I respond The sparrow and the song I miss you when you're gone

so far away - mary lambert

Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear I'm a better person when I have you here Oh I, I, I got you and I, I can get through Anything as long as I can see your face Right now you're so far away, so far away

when it's time - american idiot

All I want is you to understand That when I take your hand Its 'cause I want to We are all born in a world of doubt But there's no doubt I figured out I love you

sum of our parts - mary lambert

Even with ashes in my mouth I was still born to breath I wonder are you like me Were you left in the fire Are you raising yourself Above your father's empire

bmblb - rwby

Now the flowers are in bloom And you've chased away my darkness and gloom When the wind blows through the trees And your voice is like a song in the breeze

king and lionheart - of monsters and men

Howling ghosts they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lionheart. A lionheart.

i want to sing - regina spektor

But tell me, what have I done to deserve you? Must have done something cause that's how it works Must have been kind to kittens and birds, In a previous life must have thought happy thoughts...

home - gabrielle aplin

Comfort will rest on my shoulder And I'll bury my future behind I'll always keep you with me You'll be always on my mind But there's a shining in the shadows I'll never know unless I try

now is not the time - chvrches

Nothing now can ever come between us As we hide and watch the city burn There is much that I still want to tell you But now is not the time to speak of love

under the tide - chvrches

And if I can be I'll be your strength And it won't be long now

[possibleplatypus]

Music tag

Rules: You can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and tag 10 people.

Tagged by @dreaming-fireflies 

1. Guster - “On the Ocean” Am I asleep? Is this a dream? Oh my God, what have I done? Anything? 2. Maritime - “Parade Of Punk Rock T-Shirts" When you can’t break through with the one that you want 3. Cage the Elephant - “Cigarette Daydreams” You can drive all night, looking for the answers in the pouring rain 4. Handsome Boy Modeling School ft Cat Power - “I’ve Been Thinking” I was hypnotized by your fairy eyes, like a tiger in the dark, you were hungry from the start 5. Guster - “Do You Love Me” Maybe I’m not the one that you’re singin’ to in your sleep 6. Brand New - “Jesus Christ” ‘cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark 7. Walk the Moon - “Shiver Shiver” You leave these marks upon my neck, and they’re still there, I know but I still check 8. Camera Obscura - “Number One Son” God I’ve tried to help but I think I just hinder, ask a better girl could she ever be kinder 9. Metric - “Lost Kitten” You’ve got my eyes, you’ve got my eyes, you’ll never be mine, ah, but you’ve got my eyes 10. Soak - “Sea Creatures” I don’t think they know what love is, throw it around like it’s worthless, don’t think they know what love is

Shooting this over to @sarabelez, @technicolorwritings, @paxohana, @tardistype221b, @angfangirl, @niipanda, @tastelikepurple, @wugglee ;)

[theultravioletcatastrophe]

Got tagged by @daxir who is a very cool and good friend ^^

It’s one of those music memes! You put your library on shuffle and you write the first 9 songs that come up and your favourite lyrics from them. This sounds like fun! I’m probably gonna go on and on about this so I’ll put the rest of this post under a break. I’m skipping instrumental songs, and songs by the same band (unless it’s like, one of my favourite songs or something).  I’ll also put links to the songs in case you wanna listen! (Also please note, I’ve put warnings for possibly-triggering content so please read the descriptions if you need to.)

1. Deftones - Knife Prty I could float here forever In this room, we can’t touch the floor This is absolutely my favourite song from White Pony. It rocks, it’s vaguely depressing, it perfectly fits my self-image lol. There’s lots of good Deftones songs but this is one of the best. If there was ever a soundtrack for my life, this song would probably be on it (actually I’m playing songs from the “if my life had a soundtrack” playlist so they’re all gonna be like this haha).

2. Incubus - Blood On The Ground From now on, gonna start holding my breath when you come around and you flex that fake grin ‘Cause something inside me has said more than twice that breathing less air beats breathing you in So this song seems uncharacteristically like me, but... deep down inside, I am a bitter, resentful person who thinks there are too damn many people in the world. There have been people in my life, for whatever reason, that just grate on my nerves, and I can’t tell them due to social mores and all that (please don’t worry, it’s no one on here, you all are fantastic, these are just skeletons in my closet lol).

3. Metric - Lost Kitten Halfway starts with happiness for me Halfway house lost kitten in the street Hit me where it hurts, I was coming home to lose Kitten on the catwalk, high heeled shoes God I love this song. It’s so upbeat and fun-sounding, and the lyrics are equal parts cheeky and sad (and clever) (so basically like any other Metric song). Plus Emily’s voice is fucking amazing <3

4. Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire I won’t soothe your pain I won’t ease your strain You’ll be waiting in vain I’ve got nothing for you to gain So... this is one of those songs where I can always appreciate the delicious guitar tone, but I have to be in a Very Specific Mood to really appreciate the song as a whole. The lyrics are actually really kinda depressing (well, the ones I can understand, anyway), which is just absolutely what I need sometimes. (Also apparently this is a cover version or a remix or something of this song; I once sought out the original and I really didn’t like it as much.)

5. Porcupine Tree - Anesthetize Because of who we are We react in mock surprise The curse of “there must be more” So don’t breathe here Don’t leave your bags Well, this song has a lot of good lyrics to pick from, since it’s like almost 18 minutes long (though at least half of it is instrumental). These are some good ones. I never quite know how to feel about this song. Musically, I love it, but it’s not one of my favourite songs. Lyrically, I laugh along bitterly and nod in understanding, yet I never catch myself singing it. It’s in a weird limbo of sorts.

6. Marianas Trench - Say Anything Hurts the same when nobody knows Guess that’s just how it goes And I, I won’t say anything at all OH FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG. This whole album is so incredible. Josh Ramsay is a goddamn musical genius, even when he was an angsty fucking teenager, because he captured that feeling PERFECTLY. Any time I want to feel like I’m in high school again I just have to put on this album (even though I had been out of high school for like 3 years when it came out lol). (Also TW for self-harm in the lyrics)

7. Tool - Jimmy Hold your light, Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step by inch by loaded memory. I’ll move to heal as soon as pain allows so we can reunite and both move on together. Hold your light, Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step by inch by loaded memory til one and one are one, Eleven. So glow, child, glow. I’m heading back home. Yes, I know that was a big chunk of lyrics, but that’s my whole favourite part of that song. I was SO into Tool back in the day, wowzers. Some of these songs still hit me right in the feels.

8. Killjoys - Rave & Drool It was just another cure Never bother, just ignore I’m not anything at all I’m not a monster, I’m a friend who raves and drools This is an ooooooold song for me, musically. I first heard this waaaay back in elementary school, when I picked up a copy of Big Shiny Tunes. I’m pretty sure it was this compilation album that set me on the musical path I ended up going down. It’s still a solid song, 20 years later (the video is SO 90S THO OMG). (Also holy shit seizure warning for this video, yikes)

9. Queens Of The Stone Age - In The Fade They don’t know I never do you any good Laughing is easy I would if I could This album probably has most of my favourite QOTSA songs (except for like... 3), and this is one of the top faves. It just sounds really cool, and it is really, like, My Aesthetic... musically. I don’t know, I just really like this one.

I feel like I always tag the same people in these, so let’s try a few different folks for a change. @cherenobul @redacuarela @scatterdarknessscattersilence @weedingandwandering @overlyexcitedvegan if any of y’all feel like doing this, feel free (don’t take my post as an example tho you don’t have to ramble as much as me lmao). And anyone else, if you read this far, consider yourself tagged if you wanna do this!

Also, in case anyone was curious, here are all the instrumental songs I skipped: Gifts From Enola - City Lights Scraped the Sky Sithu Aye - Lights! Camera! Explosions! Queens Of The Stone Age - Lightning Song Scale the Summit - Secret Earth Aphex Twin - Matchsticks Anamanaguchi - Power Supply Estradasphere - The Return Jake Chudnow - Muff Mittens

[scapegrace74-blog]

Gimme Sympathy

A/N  One more fic in the Metric universe, and then I have to knuckle down and finish the second arc of Saorsa.   This story takes place just after Lost Kitten, so after The Beginning and Breathing Underwater, but long before Lazy Dancer and Calculation Theme.  Previous fics are available on my AO3 page.

Oh, and mild warning for foul language, if that’s not your thing.

The song by Metric that inspired the title and a few lines is here.

December 10, 2016, Bistrotheque, Bethnal Green, London

“Bloody feckin hell, this place is a madhouse!” Geillis yelled as she elbowed her way back to Claire’s side in the vestibule of the latest trendy East London eatery.

“Yes, well, this was all your idea.  I was happy going out for pad thai and warm beer,” Claire retorted over the din.  Truth be told, she was excited to be out past 8pm wearing something other than her scrubs and someone else’s bodily fluids.  It had been a tough slog of a year.

“Are ye mad, woman?  Bad enough ye wouldna let me throw ye a party fer gettin’ inta medical school.  I wasna goin’ to settle for anything less than the hippest hipster joint in all o’ Bethnal Green tae celebrate yer success.”

They were eventually ushered into the cavernous main dining room, bedecked like a virginal bride with a long row of liquor bottles atop the massive central bar reflecting the pendant lights like gemstones.  Claire felt conspicuous in her slim black skirt and tallest heels, the pressure of assessing eyes on her exposed back.

Ordering a bottle of ridiculously overpriced champagne, Geillis raised her flute in salute.

“Tae my hard-working, brilliant, an’ annoyingly beautiful friend, who will be the most kick-ass doctor the Royal London ‘as e’er seen.  Dr. Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp.”

“Thank you, Geil.  Though, I’m a long way from a doctor yet,” she demurred, letting the crisp liquid bite her tongue before swallowing.

“Ach, ‘tis no’ but a formality.  Ye could pick up a scalpel now and still be a right sight better than most o’ those auld wankers we work wi’!”

“You’re a true friend, Geil.  And you have excellent taste in hipster joints.  This menu is amazing.”

The two women drank and ate and laughed and drank some more.  Geillis was a bottomless well of off-colour stories, most involving her constantly changing stable of male companions.

“So you’re saying he, err, handcuffed you to the bed frame and then... passed out cold?” Claire asked, eyes alight with mischief.

“Aye.  An’ before he could serve me, the bugger.  Anyway, tha’ was why I couldna reply tae yer texts when ye lost yer keys.”

“I thought you were speaking metaphorically, when you said you’d been tied up!”  Claire dissolved into giggles, the empty champagne bottle having been replaced by some top flight Scottish whisky.   This meal was going to cost Geillis a fortune.

“Nah.  Ye ken I would come tae yer rescue, nae matter how well I was bein’ rogered, Claire.  Thas’ wha’ friends are for,” Geillis Scots grew more broad as she plumbed the depths of intoxication, a fact that Claire had always found endearing.  “Come tae think o’ it, where did ye bed down tha’ night?  The on-call room?”

Claire blushed and stared into her half-empty glass.  She’d been hoping to avoid this particular conversation, but now she’d stumbled straight into it.

“No, I ran into an... acquaintance, when I was bumbling about in the rain.  And they offered to let me stay in their spare room.  So, will you be seeing this Norwegian personal trainer again?  It’s hardly his fault he passed out.   Knowing you, he probably drank enough liquor to pickle an elephant.”

Geillis might have been drunk, but she was still canny, and she could tell when her friend was hiding something.

“What acquaintance of yours has a spare room?  Tha’ Hawkins girl, from Pediatrics?”

“No.  No, it was... um, well, it was James Fraser,” she mumbled, hoping Geillis had forgotten his family name, or had never known it in the first place.  Either was a distinct possibility, but luck was not with her.

“Jamie Fraser!   The big ginger firefighter?!   Ye slept at Jamie Fraser’s, an’ ye failed tae inform me immediately?  Feckin hell, Claire!”

Claire glanced nervously at the tables close by either side of their own, hoping the general clamour prevented them from overhearing their conversation.

“It’s precisely because I knew you’d react like this that I didn’t tell you, Geil.  It’s not a big deal.  He happened upon me, I told him about my keys, and he offered for me to sleep in his spare room.  His flatmate had just moved out,” she explained rationally.

“Nae big deal, she says.   Alright, then.  If it twas nae big deal, tell me everythin’.   Seein’ as we’re no’ keepin’ secrets.”

Knowing there was no way to pull Geillis off the scent a juicy tale, Claire matter-of-factly described meeting Jamie in Brick Lane, the inside of his flat, and the quiet breakfast they’d shared the next morning before they’d gone their separate ways.  Something kept her from sharing the story of their middle-of-the-night encounter and Jamie’s PTSD episode.  She told herself she was merely maintaining the privacy of an informal patient, but there was something more possessive lying beneath her motivation.   Jamie had revealed himself to her in a way she knew, instinctively, he’d never shared with Geillis.  The secret was his, and now it was hers as well.

“Interesting,” her friend opined, nodding her head as though a theory had been confirmed.  “So, the wee fox cub likes his damsels in distress, does he?”

“It wasn’t like that at all, Geil.  Don’t make this about sex.”

“Hen, everythin’ is about sex.  Jus’ because ye’ve sworn off men doesna make it untrue.”

“You would say that,” Claire retorted.  “Especially since you and he...” she gestured with her hand.

“Aye.   Aye, we did.   Twas the night before ye left fer Afghanistan, if I recall,” Geillis confirmed, unrepentant.

“Just the once?” Claire asked, curious despite herself.

“Aye.  Well, twice, if ye count the time in the shower after ye puked on me.”

“Oh my god.  Geillis!   You fucked him in our shower while I lay intoxicated in my bed?  I can’t believe you!”

“We made certain ye were alright, first,” Geillis defended herself, batting her eyelashes innocently.

“Bloody hell.  Well, and?  Don’t hold back now.  How was he?”

Geillis looked abstracted and Claire knew she was reliving the night in question, four years past.  A lump formed in her throat, and she regretted asking for details.  Now the two streams had crossed in her mind, and she’d never again be able to think of Jamie without also remembering the look Geil had on her face in that moment.

Reading her friend’s glass face with ease, Geillis took pity on her.

“Ye dinna really want tae know, love.  I will say this.  He’s a good lad.   Far too lovely for the likes o’ me.”

“That’s it?  I have to listen to the minutae of every other sexual adventure you have, but Jamie Fraser is ‘lovely’?”

“Aye.  Ye do, and he is.   Come, le’s get out o’ here a’fore I canna walk.”

Stumbling out into the cloudy night, the two leaned against each other and started the long trek back to their flat.  Claire was silent, trying to muddle through her conflicted feelings through the haze of drink.  It really shouldn’t matter that Geillis and Jamie had a history, albeit a very short-lived one.  And yet somehow, it did.

“I will tell ye one thing,” Geillis began as though their earlier conversation hadn’t ended twenty minutes previous.   “The lad has the trapezius of an Olympic deity.  Ye could do far worse.”

“I could... Geil, I told you, it isn’t like that.  You more than anyone should know I’m not in the market for a man, Olympian musculature or not.   Especially now, with medical school looming.”

Geillis stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing a couple to step around them, muttering angrily.

“Claire,” she said, trying to school her features into something approximating solemnity, “yer a brilliant lass, but ye’re also a damn fool.   Just cause one man treated ye poorly doesna mean they all will.   Ye’re gonna make mistakes, ye’re young.  But dinna live in the dark because ye got too close tae the flame and got burned.”

Lecture over, Geillis steered them westward.

“Where are we going?”

“Tae the chippie.  Hipster food is well an’ good, but it doesna soak up all the yummy alcohol like tatties an’ grease.”