#the slightly more stable one (MUN TAG.)

[xpeachesncream]

restart | six

[ SEQUEL TO PERFECTLY WRONG ] | [ series masterlist ]

summary: as you and taehyung start to build your life together post graduation, things become more complicated than what you expected it to be. while taehyung struggles with his inner demons, you’ve become the sole supporter, the pillar, juggling different jobs to keep you two afloat. your love for each other has been put to the test as your relationship continues to face hurdles - hurdles that have you questioning whether or not your relationship will make it through.

pairing: reader x fiancé!kth

genre: post grad au, established relationship au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.9k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy, lots of insecurities and overthinking, angst, crying, arguments, y/n and tae get really mean with each other honestly, unprotected soft sex in the flashback scene, alcohol consumption, y/n really going above and beyond for her man though

note: taehyung’s one shot for the witchers one series will be coming out.. probably this weekend? i’ll continue taking some breaks in between posting new chapters for bands and restart so i can work on this too!

tags: @enchantaeduniverse​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @sapphirejeon @jwlmnbt​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ra-mun-e @brightcolorsoffendme​ @jungcrookthecookbook​ @sunniejinnie​ (please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You looked at the new picture hanging on the hall at Jin's café. It was a picture of you, Taehyung and your friends in your graduation caps and gowns. You smiled to yourself seeing how happy you all were to finally overcome the milestone together, how happy you and Taehyung were to have gotten through it together.

It seemed like a distant memory.

"Hey." Jungkook comes behind you, his blonde hair almost covering his eyes.

"Hmm?" He follows your gaze to the picture.

"What time is your shift over?" He asks, trying to change the subject. You turn to him and sigh, checking the time on your phone.

"Mm, in a bit actually. I have to run home and get ready."

"Oh hey, you're meeting that girl today right? To see if you can sell some of your art and merch in her boutique?" You smiled from ear to ear.

"Yeah! She's such a sweetheart, I'm super excited. I hope it works out."

"I'm sure it will." He pinches your cheek. He doesn't say anything else, being that he can tell other things were on your mind but you weren't ready to talk about it yet.

Racing home to the apartment, you decided to hop into a quick shower and throw on some better clothes. You still couldn't believe Brandi had came up to you at the flea market, almost feeling like she was a blessing in disguise. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, the excitement peeking through as the minutes went by.

"Hey! Goodluck today, little one!" You picked up Jin's call as you walked out of your apartment and down to your car. Taehyung, for whatever reason, was nowhere to be found, and you figured he was just out with Namjoon or one of their other friends. You had left him sound asleep earlier, and you didn't think he had any plans today. But, you would just have to see him later and tell him all about the meeting. You were actually excited to, especially after last night.

➤ FLASHBACK

Taehyung gripped onto the headboard as he rolled his hips into you, your clit rubbing against him as his body lowered onto yours. He kept his eyes on you, his lips barely grazing yours as he softly hissed and let out small moans.

“Hmmmfuck.” You softly mewled. For once, the love making felt like old times - the passion. The fire. The feelings. It felt like Taehyung was making love to you like the world was going to end. And the thought of it, the feeling of his body against yours, the warmth - it made you feel complete, and like you never wanted to leave this moment.

"I love you so much, baby." He whispers as he continues to pick up his pace, rolling his hips and working in tandem with yours.

"I love you, too." You softly say as your fingers lock into his hair, his lips pressed gently against your neck as he laid soft kisses along a straight path and nipped at your skin. You arch your back slightly, the pleasure starting to bubble up within your core as you hear Taehyung moan against your neck.

"God, baby I'm gonna cum." He continues to moan. "Cum with me."

"Close." You moan softly, tugging on his hair as he picks up his pace and begins to thrust a little more aggressively. "I-I'm--"

"Uh huh." He nods. "That's it, love."

"I'm gonna cum." Your hands are now gripping his shoulders, nails digging deep and leaving red marks against his honey-dipped skin. It takes a few more rolls before you feel your body trembling under his grip, muffled moans trying to escape as you let the orgasm ripple through you. As you come down from your high, you feel Taehyung fill you up warmly, his body still ontop of yours as he tries to regulate his breathing. He presses his lips against your jaw, to your forehead, to your nose, then back down to your lips before he removes his softening member from within you and plops next to you on the bed. He instantly swoops you into his arms, your head laying on his chest as you ran your finger in circles around his collarbone.

"Baby." He says softly. "You mean everything to me. You know that right? I got you through anything, no matter what." You simply nod before he places another kiss against your head.

➤ END FLASHBACK

"Thank you. I'll tell you all about it later, okay?"

"Sounds good. I know this'll work out. I'm proud of you, you know that right?" Your smile lightly fades. Yeah, it was a big deal, but you still hadn't told anyone a lot of your other plans had been put on pause.

"I know." You softly chuckle. "K, I need to get going. I'll call you later."

"Love you, drive safely." He says before you return the love and hang up. You hopped into your car and began to drive off to the destination downtown. However, as you neared the boutique, another call came through to your car, but from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yeah, this is she."

"Hey there. Could you come down to Jack's? We have your fiancé here. He's intoxicated and he's been giving the staff a hard time." You sigh and look at your watch. Jack's was on the opposite end of town. You were never going to make it on time for your meeting. You had promised you'd be there to make this work.

"Where is he?" You say as you quickly park your car and make your way to the restaurant. You see him slouched onto the bar, slurring his words to the police men. The bar stools around him were all turned over, glasses broken and flyers from the wall had been ripped off. You couldn't help but begin to cry because you knew this was all Taehyung's doing, and quite frankly, you had so many emotions - you were scared, upset, empty, exhausted. You didn't know what else to do, but you loved him.

And yet here you were again, pushing your goals aside to help the love of your life.

"Tae, baby. Let's get up, okay?" His eyes are glazed as they turn to you. He smiles, but he struggles to get up, the police man helping support him as you both bring him to your car.

"Baby girl." He mumbles.

"Shh. Just stay here." You shush him as you get him situated in the passenger seat, tears streaming down your face.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but this damage needs to be covered." You took the ticket from the police man, showing the restaurant charging over $200 worth of the damages.

"It's fine, I'll take care of this. I'm so sorry."

"If you need anything, please let us know." The cop couldn't help but sympathize looking at you. At this point your cheeks were hot, tears continued to stream down your face and your hair had become a mess having supported Tae back to the car. You silently climbed in, crying to yourself as you drove back to the apartment, Taehyung slumped and asleep in the passenger seat.

You did your best to support him back to your apartment, the security guard offering help but you turned him down. You had been doing good so far and you thought you had this in the bag. As you had exited the elevator, Taehyung stumbled upon his own two feet, bringing the both of you down.

"Babe, get up please." You cried, using all of your force to get him up. He did try his best to stable himself as you stood, but the five steps to the front door ended up being twenty, with a few more stumbles in between. "Please, we're almost there." You continued to cry.

You finally got Taehyung out of his clothes and into the bed, washing his face with a warm towel before you let him sleep peacefully. You made your way to the living room and just broke down. Your meeting was way past its time, and yet you had passed on another great opportunity because you needed to be there for Taehyung. You felt helpless.

You just didn't know how else to do it.

"Hello? How'd it go?" Jungkook asks on the other line.

"Kook, I don't know if I could do this anymore." You cried into the phone. "I can't do it." You cried silently, heavily.

"Y/N." He sighs worriedly. "What happened? Do you want me to come by?"

"No, I-I just—" You cry as you sink to the floor, your back against the wall. "I've given up so many things for him, and he even apologized last night. Saying he'd do better and all this shit, but he hasn't. I knew this would happen and-and I can't—" You ramble on and on, Jungkook worried as he tries to decipher what you're saying through your crying.

"Slow down, and tell me what just happened."

"I didn't even get to meet her, Kook. I was on my way when I got a call from the cops saying he was drunk and giving the staff a hard time at Jack's. Shit was torn up, the stools were turned over, flyers ripped off the walls." You mumbled through your cries. "I told them I'd take care of it and handle the damages. Why would he do this? Why would he do this to me?" Kook sighs heavily.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm sure there's a lot of things going on in his head that can help explain this. And I can help you take care of the damages, it's not a big deal."

"No."

"Stop. Let me help you." He pauses. "Can you text Brandi and just let her know it was an emergency or something? I'm sure she'll understand."

"I'm so humiliated though, like I can't even face her after I stood her up."

"Listen to me. It's not like you meant to. Just text her and explain, she seems like a really nice and understanding person. Don't feel embarrassed. Shit happens."

"You don't get it, bunny." You cried harder, silently, hoping you wouldn't be too loud to wake up Tae. "This was the last chance I had. I-I told Jimin I wouldn't be working on the shop right now. I gave all this shit up for him and I really just can't do this anymore. I've set myself aside to be there for him, only for him to fuck me over in the end. He doesn't realize how much he's been hurting me." You're feeling so many emotions at once that you don't even know if you're making sense. You wanna say so much, but you can't. You wanna get back up on your feet, but you can't.

"It's not gonna be the last chance." He says softly. "You're always welcome to crash with me if you'd like, just to give yourself some space." You sigh, finally able to slow down your crying and regulate your breathing.

"I can't just leave him."

"Y/N. He's gonna have to learn one way or another." Suddenly, you hear some stirring in the room, causing you to frantically wipe your tears and get yourself together.

"I have to go, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Let me know if you need me, I'll be there." You hang up the call and turn your attention to the room when you hear Taehyung give off a small groan. You rush over, seeing him bent over on his knees on the side of the bed, his hands pressed against his face. "You alright?" You ask him softly, already prepping the trash can with a paper bag inserted inside in case he needs to release.

"I don't feel too—" And as you assume correctly, you hold the trash can up to him as he releases, your heart breaking at the sight of him struggling. You were torn - torn between wanting to do everything and wanting to do absolutely nothing at this point. You were spent, you had given him everything and you were left with nothing besides the uncertainty of your relationship and the umpteenth amount of tears you had been shedding.

This wasn't fair to you, and you couldn't let him keep doing this to you.

After he seems to be done being head first into the trash can, you set it aside to clean up later and give his face another good wash up with a warm towel. He seems a bit better and more sober after having vomited, but you get him to go back to sleep while you head into the kitchen to heat up some water and make some tea. You ponder on your thoughts, on your feelings, while waiting for the electric kettle to flip the switch, hinting that the water was done heating. You pour yourself and Tae a cup - green tea for you, while you whipped up some ginger tea with lemon for him. You walk over to the room seeing him asleep, but he slightly opens an eye when he feels your body dip into the edge of the bed.

"Drink this while it's hot." You say as you place the cup on the night stand.

"Thank you, baby." He manages to say raspily. "Stay with me?" You shake your head.

"I need to take care of some stuff outside." And with that, you don't turn to look at him or give him more of your attention before simply walking off. You bite onto your bottom lip as you head back to the kitchen, pulling out your laptop to start organizing the bills and figuring out which ones to pay off first. You almost forgot you had these deadlines to meet.

It's close to 8pm when Taehyung finally gets up and walks out to the kitchen, seeing you still hovering over your laptop. This time though, you had a bowl of ramen ready for him to go, while you had just finished devouring yours. You don't say anything as he comes forward to the kitchen island, but his eyes are locked onto you. You turn to face the sink and start washing your bowl when you feel his arms snake around your hips and his lips pressed against the back of your head. And as much as you wanna sink into his body, you don't.

"Baby, I'm so—"

"Save it." You aggressively throw your spoon down into the sink before turning to face him. "Don't."

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"No, Taehyung. Not anymore. I've heard it way too many times and I'm tired." You say, your eyes starting to water. "I'm so tired. You knew today was the day I had to meet Brandi. Why couldn't you just hold off for a second, Tae? Do I literally have to give up everything for you?"

"Woah, I never said you had to—" You scoff as you cross your arms.

"You didn't have to say it. All this shit you've done, throwing the whole Jimin thing in my face, getting drunk and acting up." You cry. "You don't think I can catch on? I'm not stupid, Taehyung. Don't take me for a fucking dumbass."

"I've been here struggling with my own feelings too okay, Y/N? It's been a fucking shit show for me and I don't think you understand."

"You don't think I understand?!" You yell, appalled at his argument. As much as you didn't wanna play the pointing fingers game, you had no choice but to since Tae didn't seem to get it. He obviously didn't understand you even though he said he did last night, and that's what hits you. "I know you've been struggling and I've been doing my very best to be there every step of the way for you to help support you. I gave up this shit with Jimin and told him to hold off because I knew you were having trouble with it. I fucking went to the school event 10 minutes late and tired out of my goddamn mind, and I just got lucky Dr. Forneo wasn't done with his speech or else I would have been shit out of luck too! And then today, I was on my way to meet Brandi when I got the call that I needed to come get you because you decided trashing Jack's was the perfect way to show how frustrated you've been feeling. Don't tell me I don't fucking understand when I've done it all just to be here for you! I pushed myself aside for you, and quite frankly, I feel like I've just been wasting my life in this relationship." You say harshly, a little taken aback at the words that come out of your mouth, but you have no intentions of bringing it back. He scoffs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looks at you, expression full of hurt and betrayal.

"If you've been feeling like that, why didn't you tell me sooner so I could have just left you alone? So I wouldn't have wasted all this time for you?"

"I love you so much, and I hate seeing you hurt. I wanted to do everything in my power to help relieve you, help you get rid of this pain you've been feeling, but I've just been hurting myself in the process. You haven't even realized it. I can't do this to myself anymore, Taehyung. I can't." In a quick moment, his expression quickly turns into more hurt and frustration, his brows furrowing as his tears continue to come down.

"Then fucking leave Y/N! Leave, if this shit isn't what you want!" He yells loudly that you're a little startled by his tone.

"You'd just let me go like that?" You ask shakily.

"Go and be like the rest of them, like I give a fuck." He says, sounding exactly like the asshole Taehyung you had dealt with the night of Jin's café party. "You don't know what it's like—" He shakes his head. "To feel so completely useless and unworthy. To have people remind you and throw it in your face constantly how much of a fuck up you really are." He pauses, glaring back at you. "You're just like Hana, you know?" He instantly regrets it the moment it slips, but it's too late for him to take it back. You cry harder at the statement because why in the fuck would he say some dumbass shit like that? You were not her whatsoever. And you'd like to think you've done a hell of a job sticking by him through thick and thin. Not like her.

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. I am not her." You put your foot down. "I know I can't relate but the one thing I do know is that I gave you my everything, and I did nothing but stand by you through thick and thin. As much as I want to do it all, you have to do your part in getting yourself out of this, too. There's only so much I can do for you. Don't tell me you're in this for the long run when you can't even realize that shit. This isn't how you're supposed to treat somebody who loves you, somebody you call your fiancé. This isn't how we get by together. And you know fucking better than that." You spit out, aggressively wiping your tears. "I'm going to stay at Yoongi's until we leave."

"Y/N." He sighs deeply, following you into the room.

"No, don't touch me." You look at him as you break free from his grip. "You said what you said. I'm not doing this shit anymore." You softly cry. "Clearly, we need the space." You began to pile your clothes and necessities into your luggage, removing all attention away from Taehyung.

"Fine." Is all he manages to say before he's grabbing a jacket and heading out of the room. You hear him yell a loud 'fuck!' before glass hits the wall and shatters, followed by the front door slamming shut. You break down onto the ground and cry everything you have left in you. What did this mean for the both of you, you had no idea. After all of this, you still wanted him and you still hoped this would work out. Half of you suddenly didn't want to leave on these terms, but you knew you had to - to give yourself some space and give Taehyung enough space to hopefully learn and snap himself out of it.

But shit, this fucking hurts.

Suddenly you look at your ring and you have no idea what to feel.

By the time you're done packing what you need to pack, you feel so groggy and beat that you can barely make your way to Yoongi's. Your head is pounding and everything around you feels like dull, white noise. Sleep is the only thing on your mind.

"Hey." Yoongi steps aside to let you in. He grabs your luggage from you and sets it aside, following you into his living room space. "You okay?" He asks, knowing damn well you aren't but he figured this is how he could get the conversation started. You simply look at him, silently shake your head and begin to cry into your hands again. You feel Yoongi engulf you in his arms as he sits you down into the couch and brings your body close to his. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. It's gonna be okay. I got you."

"It fucking hurts." You mumble into his chest and he simply nods before slightly pulling away. "He just let me go."

"Let's get you to bed, yeah? You can sleep in mine and I'll stay out here." You nod as you wipe away your tears, Yoongi also doing his best to get rid of the stragglers streaming down your cheeks. He brings your luggage into the room and gives you some space to change and get yourself comfortable. Which, you do, but it takes awhile as your body wants to do absolutely nothing at this point. You shove yourself underneath his covers, a weighted blanket on top providing you with extra warmth. You turn to face the wall, hoping you could fall into a deep sleep soon.

But, you can't, no matter how exhausted you are.

"In here?" You hear Jungkook's voice faintly outside before he gently opens the door. You don't move in your position, even though you've just been blankly staring at the wall. You hear Jungkook gently shut the door before you feel his body weight on the edge of the bed. His fingers are running through your hair, brushing it gently as you continue to stare at the wall. "Y/N."

"Not now, Kook." He sighs.

"I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine."

"Can I at least do anything for you right now?"

"I just want to sleep." He nods.

"Okay. I'll be hanging out with everyone for a bit outside. Just let me know if you need me." He says, gently caressing your covered arm before heading out of the room. You sighed and closed your eyes once more, hoping you could finally drift off into a deep sleep.

But your thoughts continued to wander to your fiancé and his whereabouts, whether or not he was okay and where he was at. They always wandered to him. It never failed.

And yes, it was the same for Taehyung. It was the same all the time.

He thought about you 24/7, he even thought about you now as he looks down at the notification lighting up on his phone.

The notification that gives him permission to come upstairs to her apartment.

but when i see you it hurts, when i see you it starts to hurt baby; i can see it in your eyes, I can see the pain in your eyes I'm sorry, tell me baby did it feel right to be with you and at the same time lose myself, my soul is burning out so casually

track four: lie 2 me - fern

[bayaqud]

FFXIV Character Survey ; Sbahi

Tagged by: Nobody - it’s midterms week and I love to procrastinate. 

Tagging: Never introduced your character formally? Do it. Embrace your demons. 

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Sbahi Bayaqud

NICKNAME: “That thing over there”, “My youngest, most beautiful and reliable, the one who will wring worlds in her hands”

AGE:  Stopped counting after 19.

BIRTHDAY: The First Astral Moon? 

ETHNIC GROUP: Au ra (Xaela)

NATIONALITY: Thavnarian

LANGUAGE/S: Common, Whatever is spoken in Thavnair,

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Whoever is willing at this point. 

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Yes. 

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Contentious with everyone. Not in love, just in general.

HOME TOWN/AREA: Radz-at-Han

CURRENT HOME: Ul-dah?

PROFESSION: Part-time shaman-adjacent, full-time swindler.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Lilac. Is it natural? As far as you know, yes.  

EYES: Who knows. 

FACE: She has a defined facial structure. 

LIPS: When her mouth’s closed they’re pretty full. Good for hiding teeth.

COMPLEXION: Pale. Like, translucent pale. Like, ‘are you alive’ color. 

BLEMISHES: Her tail molts like crazy, to the point where she occasionally has it wrapped. The skin underneath is very sensitive.

SCARS: Her arms are scarred, though they’re mostly covered up.

TATTOOS: Nope.

HEIGHT: 4’11’’

WEIGHT: Average.

BUILD: Paper bag. 

FEATURES: Nice hands. 

ALLERGIES: Reason and logic.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Braided twin pigtails. 

USUAL FACE LOOK: Mask.

USUAL CLOTHING: Red dress. Anything that makes her look like she’s more important than you.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: A lot of things she will never admit to. Also, otters. 

ASPIRATION/S: Besting her mother, gaining power. After that, probably just exploring. 

POSITIVE TRAITS: Determined, willing to try (wait no, not always).

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Yes.

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric-Melancholy. [ the four temperaments ]

SOUL TYPE/S: The Warrior. [ the seven soul types ]

ANIMALS: Weasel.

VICE HABIT/S: Stealing, quick to anger, lying, quick to create enemies.

FAITH: There’s stuff in control and she doesn’t like it.

GHOSTS?: Yes.

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: Yes.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: What’s a politic. 

EDUCATION LEVEL: Very apprenticeship based. No formal education, but her family did not slack in terms of schooling.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Nagul and Seiyun.

MOTHERS: Alkah Bayaqud.

SIBLINGS: Three older sisters. One older brother. 

EXTENDED FAMILY: It’s not something she ever considered. 

NAME MEANING/S: Apparently it’s a surname. The real story is I wanted a name that starts with S and then I typed out a bunch of other letters and it looked really good. This is one of my skills.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: Nah.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: She has a lot - mostly tales of romance and valor, journals of exploration, research on deities.

DEITY: Thaliak.

HOLIDAY: Valentione’s Day.

MONTH: First Astral Moon.

SEASON: Winter. 

PLACE: Caves.

WEATHER: Dry heat.

SOUND/S: Humming. Loud bazaar sounds. 

SCENT/S: Roses.

TASTE/S: Cinnamon, anything floral.

FEEL/S: Oil, crunchy.

ANIMAL/S: Coeurls, elemental sprites.

NUMBER: 8

COLORS: Red, purple, black. 

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Cartography, alchemy, intimidation. 

BAD AT: Math, stable relationships, running in circles.

TURN ONS: Affection, showing romantic interest in her. 

TURN OFFS: Don’t stab her and you should be good. 

HOBBIES: Research, boat navigation, eating bugs 

TROPES: Crowd Pleaser (to an extent), The Gimmick (also to an extent), Con Man

QUOTES : "Mother placed a curse on all of her children when we were young, you see. Helps to have a flock of terrifying masked children, no?"

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1:I have zero idea what I’d call it but it would probably be about her life prior to coming to Eorzea; her family, the bazaars of Radz-at-Han, the scandals that happened there. This is possibly the strangest comparison, but it’d be like the Tarzan prequel. 

Q2: What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2: Lots of strings. All kinds of strings. Add some bass.  

Q3: Why did you start writing this character?          

A3: I felt like it’d be a waste not to explore the Bayaqud, so I started roleplaying with her. She has taken some drastic turns. She was originally going to be mute and now you can’t get her to shut her damn mouth. 

Q4: What first attracted you to this character?          

A4: Definitely her different mindset - she’s always at least slightly focused on how much damage she can do. I guess?? It’s also nice to face repercussions in a controlled setting? lol

Q5: Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5: How unkind and impatient she is. Which is stupid kinda, but eh. There have been cases where it’s very obvious a character requires patience and care and that’s just Not Sbahi unless she’s faking. She’s limited in how much of other characters she can explore, and it could probably come off as me placing Sbahi’s story above everyone else’s. It’s something I’m conscious of and will do my best to avoid these circumstances in the future.

Q6: What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6: I’d say a lot probably. Like I’m definitely not as big of an asshole, I think? But, we definitely do share a lot of traits. I think she’s a good way to explore personality issues - kind of like a guide of what not to do in social situations. Actually, another thing we have in common is the inability to relate to a community; she’s a Bayaqud who has grown up in Thavnair and she knows very little about her family’s origins, not even the language. 

Q7: How does your muse feel about you?          

A7: Oh, she’d hate me. If she knew someone was deliberately controlling her every word and action she’d tear a hole in space and time to drop kick me. 

Q8: What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?        

A8: @whitherwanderer ‘s Ardeth (who’s mun also edited the screenshot from above), @shroudandsands ‘s Nono, and then some other dickhead. I’m...not the best at meeting new people to roleplay with, partly because I’m shy and also because I have a lot to balance irl. But if you’re disillusioned enough to want to roleplay with her, I’m completely open to it.   

Q9: What gives you inspiration to write your muse?        

A9: I don’t know? I guess my desire to tell a story. It’s also always enjoyable to be antagonistic, but like in a dumb way. I enjoy playing the character who prods at others. 

Q10: How long did this take you to complete?

A10: Probably a lot longer than it should have for the half assed answers I gave.

[bluebirdsmuses]

mun got tagged!

Rules : Tag 10 followers you want to get to know better              Repost, do not reblog!

tagged by: @the-purple-hero (ayyyy thanks friendo!) 

Star Sign:  Scorpio

Gender: Nonbinary (they/she pronouns pls!)

Height: 5′7″ 

Sexuality: Aromantic Asexual

Wallpaper: Currently, a couple of cute budgies(parakeets) sitting in tiny beach chairs with a beach background. Gonna change it soon to a Spyro background due to very much hype ;3 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: I have no idea Dx but hopefully living on my own (or with a friend) with a stable job... 

If you could be anywhere else right now, where?: Hmm... well I’d love to be back at the beach, maybe not at the particular tiny cottage my parents rented, but yeah lol

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: Idk? I did try dressing as an old fairy OC of mine years ago...

What’s your favorite 90s show: Tough to choose just one! But first that popped in my mind is Courage the Cowardly Dog.

Last kiss: looool I’m too ace for that!

Ever been stood up?: I think so? Can’t remember off the top of my head tho :/ 

Favorite pair of shoes: These white/gray elastic sneakers I’ve had for many years that’re super comfy and they’re all worn out now but I was lucky to find another pair in better condition on eBay but half a size smaller so they’re slightly tighter but I can still wear ‘em. 

Favorite fruit: Strawberries and blueberries :3 

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in my 23 years that’s also embarrassing ^^; But more recently, when I went to Anime Boston this year, I mistook a fellow con-goer for the person running the booth I was looking at merch at, I was so embarrassed I just wanted to disappear Dx 

Favorite book: I’m not much for books but I really like the Maximum Ride bookseries. Also the interesting but weird book titled “Mail Order Wings”. 

Favorite gif: Idk I have a lot of fave gifs of mine but here’s one I made of one of my muses a long time ago ;3 

Tagging: @gcrminator @quartzlegacy @floofymuses @persistingcourage @multicicle @azurexalacrity @ulrichxstern @ectoplasmiic and You! xD (yeah I know that’s not 10 but I’m too lazy to pick that many lmao)

[papa-guna]

Repost, not reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name:  Amanda Nickname:  LaguNerd...or just plain nerd lmao. Age: ...I’ll be 27 tomorrow Faceclaim: Squall, he’s closest to me (somewhat) in terms of general looks, and is very similiar to me in terms of personality.  Pronouns: She/her I suppose, but I really don’t care tbh Height:  5′5″ or thereabouts Birthday: September 6th Aesthetic:  Music...mostly rock and FFVIII stuff..., cats, dragons, all animals basically? Bohemian/hippie clothing, in all honestly my aesthetic is mostly just FFVIII hahaha. Last song you listened to: Uhhhh....whatever was the music playing in the store I work at before I left??? I haven’t listened to any music (surprisingly) since I came home. I suppose if you want to be really technical it was the home page music of FF Record Keeper? Lol.

Favorite muse(s) you’ve written: LAGUNA. Though in all actuality I slightly prefer writing Squall to Laguna, though Laguna is easily my favorite character overall. Squall is just so much fun to write as as he lets me let out anything I’m holding in. Being so similiar to him means that he’s a great muse to vent with, haha. Laguna is great though too, and very relaxing at times...until he brings in his angst and sadness, then he becomes very emotionally taxing, pffft. 

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): Oh god, I don’t think I can pinpoint one thing that inspired my love for Laguna. It’s just...as I played the game and ventured deeper into the fandom, Laguna stood out to me. For the most part he’s viewed as either a comic relief side character or...well is just overlooked? Yet when it comes down to it, he’s probably the singular most important character in the entire game. Not just for the fact that he’s one of the reasons Squall exists...I mean everywhere you travel and I mean everywhere, Laguna has left his influence. From having defeated Adel and saving Esthar to smaller things like saving random people and then even his influence on the Shumi. This man has done so much for everyone, and for some reason no one seems to pay attention to any of this? Not to mention that after everything that happened to him, he still smiles. He’s easily the most mature and stable character I’ve seen in a long time. As for what directly inspired this blog? I just wanted people to appreciate his character more, I wanted to show Laguna as the wonderful character he actually is. I wanted the chance to showcase a person who influenced me in countless ways, who is my role model...the man I look up to.

What are your favorite aspects of your current muse: Probably how there is so much more to him than the goofy and clumsy dork that shows on the surface. I don’t care what people say, even if he is more of a figure head and not as hands on as president, to still be leading Esthar after seventeen years he has to be pretty damn intelligent. Not to mention that he personally monitors Adel and was the main brains behind her defeat...there is definitely a lot more to him than meets the eye. He’s also a muse that has a lot more life experience than most, given his age and it’s very interesting to play such a matured character, especially when he’s interacting with younger muses.  

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: Music is always a big influence, and most of the time I have music playing as I write...and it’s usually the VIII soundtrack. Add to that that I have quite a few songs that give me Laguna feels, lol. Other than that, the fandom in general is a huge inspiration, between fanfics and fanart as well as just discussing things with fellow fans. Daydreams play a huge part as well, I have so many ideas and AU’s in my head from them, haha.

Favorite types of threads: With Laguna? Angst and crack, lol. To most people’s surprise, Laguna is the muse of mine that is the most angsty? Things can go from funny and cracky to heartbreakingly sad in an instant with Laguna and it’s just so amazing and fun. 

The biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: Honestly something I’m struggling with a lot recently is that I feel Laguna is starting to stagnate. He hasn’t grown at all for a long time, almost every thread and headcanon revolves around Raine or Squall and...I just feel like I need to reevaluate things with him. Tweak things and evolve things. I’ve started to work on this already, mainly with me working expanding some of his headcanons and seeing what I can come up with but in all honesty what will probably be the biggest help is pushing him further in RP. Tossing him into new situations and forcing him to change and evolve, so anyone willing to help with that, come to me with ideas!

Tagged by: @hartofbalamb

Tagging: @xleitmotif, @adventurouswind, @crystarium-rose, @triggerxhappy

[familiaanteomnia]

for the lgbt+ ask game, please answer the odd numbers as the mun. (although, i think i know your answers for some of those questions.)

*Warning: This is going to be potentionally triggering, etc with talk of unsupporting family and stuff.* 

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?: Trans Male, he/him or Lurching Thing *tm* Take it this implies orientation too so- gay, asexual. (But I appreciate that girls can kick my ass, and are pretty) Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?: I don’t like go anywhere, and interact with people. At most my family basically often, daily. This one obnoxoxious boy in public who was all ‘oh yeah that’s a girl obviously’. Do have plenty of confusing people and them being like ‘so that’s uh- you person there’. Or getting gendered correctly. Supposedly I pass more than I give myself credit for. 

Which like before I even had fully accepted myself confused a doctor once. Waiting around and it was like ‘hey uh- could you please move, kid’. I mean even when I was presenting as my birth gender once had kids mistake me for a college age guy so -shrug-. 

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?: Terrible, still is with family and coming out’s never finished. 1st time, family. I’ll share that cause it’s the real crux of things. Worst than the horror scenarios I’d pictured.

I hadn’t slept much in weeks, hands trembling with an urge to self harm because I’d given it up around then. Out of town, visiting family. Shit storm. A phone call outside in a meltdown, false hope because it sounds like I might be tolerated. Two day stomach flu. Car ride to meet halfway for lunch before going home days later with my mother. Rock hitting the window shield, cracking it making me wish it broke. 

Growing dread. Immense guilt that I can’t even look at the driver of the car. My mother wouldn’t even look at me, babbling to try being even seen as her child in the slightest. Dead silence. Going home. The start of yelling, fighting, being a mistake. Cut off from all internet access. Even when things died down I’d do something wrong and it would be twisted against me. I’ve been yelled at in public for it. Talked behind my back, while present. Crap situations in a doctors office, etc. Thankfully they were more chill. 

Like I’m more out than I was but it’s still like ‘hush hush’. Partly because I always bail out of telling people off. Because I just wanted my family, I just want the people I care for to even slightly respect me. To actually talk to me, not about me behind my back/to each other while I’m sitting there instead of directly saying “How are you” or small talk. I love them- I’ve hurt myself emotionally, sacrificed so much but they can’t even try to see me as even just a person.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?: I mean I get no questions/don’t interact with people much but I hate the ‘top, or bottom’ crap specially from females in gross excess. Like when somebody hcs a character trans but then it’s just that, s*x and ‘top or bottom’Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?: m/alec, m.agnus chase/alex f.ierro, klaus/dave, and like I have so many more. Not all of them have ship names, or are coming to mind right now though.Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?: Yes. I also have other body image issues. It makes me hate taking or being in pictures. Makes me hate leaving the house. Being around people. It’s literally like those scales where it’s like ‘get help if you’re at level 10 and it super impacts your life’. And I’m on like 15 constantly. I have literal clothes where it’s like ‘after top sugery’ ‘when I’m skinnier-’ and then it’s ‘which of the two shirts’ ‘these jeans, oh but they’re kind of no thanks’. Always wearing boots when I have cute sneakers,etc. 

I don’t wear eyeliner like I used to. Yet I like bought some a while back like ‘oh these colors are pretty’ it’s just sat. Don’t use chapstick sometimes despite owning it, chapped lips at times. Constantly end up screwing my eyes shut while changing, random breakdowns like ‘I have the wrong shape nails’. Safe to say as a result it’s like really messed up. Supposedly I’m an attractive person energy wise,etc but yet I’m like ‘uhhh ew I look terrible’ and compliments feel fake especially if the person has never seen me. -shrug-What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?: Honestly? Like those who sometimes are just like ‘hey I get it’. Or appreciate dumb poetry I share,etc. The people who sometimes are like ‘hey I’ve got your back’. Or accept me as a person, labels aside. Those who I came across that have spoken about their situations with my childhood church/spoken out. Published books. Made a whole album of it. One of them who was like the og in a way messaged me once like ‘hey it’ll be okay’. So I’d say the good people, good parts- who actually fight for each other,etc. Instead of playing gate keeper,etc.Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?: Nope, it’s like a few hours and I’m always broke/no way I’d be like ‘hey family member spend some gas, cash take me to pride’. Plus I know nobody irl so I’d be alone big time. Also my local one seems big on the ‘partying, drinking’ events etc. Plus you have to like pay? Then like parade wise I can’t bind for that immense amount of time there, during (in the hot sun), and back. Or walk/march cause uh my legs be dumb sometimes/asthma. I want to go to an event or parade sometime, someday though. Though I’m like ‘okay but I’d like to flags? Perhaps socialize? Kiss a cute boy?’ so *frustrated noises*. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?: Not really cause I guess my middle school nonsense (not even dating but trying to be ‘normal’) doesn’t count. But like also that’s fine. I attract toxic people. So like I’d rather wait try patiently waiting for somebody good to come my way. Who can accept all of  me and will know it’ll be rough but I’ll also be like ‘hey let’s go get doughnuts late at night and go to a park, snuggle under a tree’. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?: Not really, not yet. Have had some memorable encounters. Been scared shitless once that I was about to get assaulted in a public library. But then again that might be the people’s attitude around here which is mostly ‘hush hush’ fake niceness,etc. Bound to happen though. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?: Don’t really have any? I mean the whole tag more or less, of some of the religious lgbt+ peeps who know the church I was raised in. I watch quite a few trans youtubers though, not all of them are exactly wildly known. Other than that -shrug-. 

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?: Never- honestly doesn’t appeal much to me either like history sure. Something people can do- hell yeah. Personally drinking wouldn’t be healthy for me *not of age currently anyways*. And drag shows usually are at such events- crowds, people. Just not sure I’d last even 20 seconds to have fun or anything. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?: Not sure, bio kids are a solid no for reasons. But otherwise- I like babysitting, kids adore me for some odd reason. So like say I date or fall for somebody who has a kid or is on good terms with family/loves babysitting. I’d be totally happy babysitting or hanging around with said person and their child. Things like adopting though? Good option yet I’d not think it over too much till it’s a conversation/have a person and its stable. (Plus like trauma,etc is a thing that makes it loaded as well)What do you think of gender roles in relationships?: If it’s their thing- sure. But the gross gender roles? I’ll scowl at. Like honestly especially if it’s straight people,etc like ‘well whose the tougher one’ etc. Or praising abuse like ‘the guy can’t hang out with other girls uwu, I have access to his phone all the time- we’re joined at the hip all the time’. For anybody. Like people need breathing room? And are an individual even if in a couple. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?: Uhhh ‘it gets better’ isn’t always comforting cause sometimes it does take years. To work through things. Work things out. That sometimes it takes conversation, time and immediate rejection isn’t always how it’ll be. But you should also put yourself first, not be like ‘oh I can’t work on getting hormones because I want my family to adjust, etc’. Idk. 

[burnedlegend-archive]

RULES (important ones bolded; you can find these on a page via my blog as well but more people read them when it’s out in the open here):

~ Since I’ve been asked: no, I don’t write greeters. I’ve just never found it easy. I’d much rather just write a starter for someone who expresses they want one, then expend energy writing a ‘greeter’for someone who doesn’t want one. Just ask if you’d like a starter! ~ I am selective. Anyone can follow me, but I'm going to be picky about who I follow back, mainly for my own sanity and the ability to track the muns I interact with most. On that note, this blog isn't mutuals only, simply because I might be fine interacting with you even if I don't feel like following you. If that makes sense. ~ I’m not exclusive with anyone as of yet, but certain muns do take top priority simply because I click with them best. ~ Do not steal the circular icons I use. Those were made for me by my best friend. If you want to save and use square icons, go for it; those I either got on hollow-art or made myself. And I’m crap at making icons, so I don’t rightly care what you do with them. Just leave the circular ones alone. ~ I generally use icons for the first reply of a thread, then drop them. If you want to use icons for each reply, or no icons at all, feel free. I don’t mind either way. ~ I try to match replies, but I often ramble and get longer, or I go shorter because my energy is waning. I do try to give you something to go off though. I don’t care whether you match my length; just make sure to leave me something to react to. ~ I use smaller text and a bit of mild formatting. I don’t care whether you do or not; it’s just a personal preference for my own writing, that’s all. ~ Don’t leave anon hate. Be a better person than that, mate. And don’t be a jerk off anon either. Don’t push me around, get pissed off at me for slow response time, force ships on me, insult me… just don’t be a jerk in general, yeah? Cool.

SHIPPING ~ First off, while I’m willing to roleplay with anyone, who I ship with is exclusive, mainly because it relies on a lot of factors. ~ Factor one: Mick is asexual, demiromantic, and bi. He rarely has sexual or romantic attraction, and he can fall for men or women. He doesn’t really have a preference between the two. ~ Factor two: Mick is an emotionally withdrawn man in general, and he isn’t going to just be romantically involved with everyone. Shipping with him will most likely be similar to how shipping with my Cain (SPN) muse - who he falls for will be few and far in between. Cain has only ever had two love interests over there; his canon love interest Colette, and an angel OC. It is similar for Mick; falling in love for him is rare due to his closing himself off, and who he trusts enough to love is even smaller of a number. ~ Factor three: I find it difficult to ship with just anyone. I’m pretty awful at writing romance in general, so having a partner I click with makes it much easier. People have probably noticed I primarily write shippy things with @bethewhitecanary; this is because she and I have been roleplaying for about a year and talking every day. Basically, the better I know you, the more likely it is for a ship to work. ~ Factor four: Mick controls his own wants, don’t get me wrong. But obviously, what I ship also is affected just slightly by what ships I ship. You’ll mostly see Mick/Leonard (Coldwave) ships here because canonically, Leonard is the only person Mick is close to.There’s a lot of Mick/Sara on my blog too, as that’s another ship I ship. This doesn’t mean I’ll only ever ship Len and Sara with Mick, it just means that those are the muses Mick will gravitate toward most. 

NSFW/CONTENT ~ I don't do much NSFW smut things. If you really want to do it, I am willing to try my hand at it in a private setting, such as emails or Skype. But I'm not confident in writing it nor am I comfortable posting it in a public forum so if we do anything like that, I ask that you agree to move it to a private means of communication. ~ I refuse to roleplay very few things; but I won't roleplay bestiality, nor will I roleplay noncon threads in a positive light. If I do anything such as that or paedophilia, it has to be done tastefully, with allusions to how it is a toxic relationship and not a good thing. Basically: I can roleplay toxic abusive relationships or underage relationships or even incestuous relationships; but one, I won't do smut in those relationships, and two, they need to be portrayed as negative. Obviously. ~ Anything else goes, however. I am a dark person in general, and I’ll roleplay pretty intense stuff. Suicide, self-harm, murder, torture, death, kidnapping, slavery, violence, horror, abuse, neglect, the aftermath of a rape; you name it, I’m probably willing to write it. ~ I will tag all triggers that I can think of. If I’m not tagging something that triggers you, just let me know and I’ll start tagging it. ~ I write a lot of angst. I don’t know why, I just do. If that bothers you, you’re free to unfollow me. I won’t get angry. If you have a problem with triggers, I’ll tag them. Or, alternately, if you want to keep following me but without the angst, tell me and I can tag “angst”, and you can blacklist it.

ACTIVITY ~ I have a very stressful job, I usually am in college, and I’m currently trapped in an abusive living situation. This, and I have a few mental disorders (depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder). None of this would matter, except it means my schedule and energy levels are everywhere. ~ Sometimes, I’ll write and get a lot done; either because it’s my day off, or I’m mentally stable, or both. But sometimes, I’m burnt out and I can’t do much of anything, sometimes for days. Sometimes, Mick is sleeping and Len or someone else has my attention. I’m sorry, it’s how I am. Activity over here will be unpredictable, there’s nothing I can do about that. ~ Sometimes, I’ll only respond to certain threads or certain asks. It’s because they’re what I have muse for. Sometimes, Mick doesn’t feel like doing fluffy stuff, so he does angst. Sometimes, I don’t have energy for long threads, so I go for short ones. Sometimes, I just want to progress a specific thread but I can’t find energy for others. I don’t hate you, I don’t think you’re boring; I just haven’t got the muse or the energy, that’s all. Don’t think I don’t want to interact with you. I do, I promise. 

THE MUN ~ My name is Gabriel. I also go by Rory or Celt. ~ I’m over 18. ~ I’m a panromantic demisexual man, and I go by he/him pronouns. Please respect that. If you can’t respect me, we’re gonna have a problem. ~ I have mental disorders, so I may be a bit difficult to handle at times. I apologise. Please be patient with me, I’m trying my best. ~ Random info. I’m in the Pacific Standard time zone. I’m a Hufflepuff, like Mick, with Slytherin an oddly close second. I’m working toward the goal of being a filmmaker and actor. I’m pretty sure my alignment is Chaotic Neutral. I’m Christian, but it won’t have an effect on how I treat you. I’m possibly a Wiccan as well (yes, you can be both!) but I’m not sure yet. 

IN SUMMARY ~Just understand where I'm coming from, respect me, and don't be a jerk and we should get along fine.