#the shower is rusty and cant be closed

[arr-jim-lad]

Girl help I booked a room in backrooms hotel

[number1weirdo2010]

The Prison of education

hey guys ! so i am if you don't already know a Non-binary , bisexual , dyslexic and autistic person . I want to be a writer of some sort in my spare time so I decided to practise on tumblr . please no hate Im trying my best and trying to share my experence of bulling and homophobia while expresing my imagination thru characters anyway thanks for reading and any requests or advise on writing please don't hesitate to ask !

!!! warning: mention of su!c!de thoughts , bullying : !!!!!

im going to write this in the first person but i will be changing a few names for privacy purposes!

5:30am alarm is blaring , i can feel the damp whether without even looking out the curtain it's time to get out of my bed . which for me is one of the hardest tasks of the day as all i want to do i stay in my warm, comfortable bed and sleep away any of my worry's . Although I know i cant do that . My legs are heavy like 50 pound weights , my head is banging and throbing with a headache that feels like a strong wave forcing me back down to the pillow . I have to resit . I look in the mirror and instantly feel this rage of gender dismorphia , ARE YOU A GIRL , ARE YOU A BOY , PICK A SIDE , U DONT DESERVE TO LIVE . i force my self to block it out with the blast of music in my headphones . i pick up my toothbrush , on goes the toothpaste and into my mouth . some people don't like the mint flavor , i hate it but some times i feel like i deserve the burn . I put on some shorts and a baggy t-shirt , trainers on and out for a run by 6:00am.

home a 7:00am still hate the way i look but i have no more time to work on it now i have to shower and pack my things for school. Now second battle of the day breakfast or no breakfast ? It's the only thing i can control , to make myself look thin or more masc at this point I do not know so to make my life slightly easier i skip it . I kiss my mum on the head tell her Im ok and that i will see her later . i open and close my door , hands shaking i lock using my old , rusty key . choking back tears i think un my head what will they say today , my hair ? The way i wear my uniform ? What bag i choose to wear ? my sexuality ? my gender confusion ? the reading book ? what i eat ? the list goes on . standing at the gate , there it is .

The Prison of Education .

greeted by the teachers i put on my mask , my virtual mask , a smile. time for form , i can just about stand up let alone walk to the 3rd floor. I must not let anyone know how i feel so . I smile.

i open my form room door slowly to be greeted with a perverted form room teacher , laughter and sniggering . I suddenly feel overwhelmed as if i want to die on the spot as if i want the floor to eat me whole as if i didn't exsist so that these bully's wouldn't have to put them selfs out to bully me . there i go again trying to make THERE lives easy with me not in it . i sit down in my seat , sweating , holding my breath as if if i exhale ill be shot on the spot which at this point i wish would happen . time passes while i feel like im going to pass out . i can feel them staring at me , all of them there judgemental eyes trying to figure out what i am . well i don't even know myself . 2 lessons pass and now its break time and ofcorse as i step out the classroom there they all are , all 13 of them . im backed into a corner where i am verbally , mentally abused but hey it's just me im fine i should be used to it by now . the minuetes go by i feel trapped until i finally break down . crying , i can't breathe , alone .

finally the end of the day all i want to do is go home and lay under the covers . I know i cant , i have to help my mum she has enough to worry about DON'T TELL HER but i know she will make me feel better either way .

a bit of time with my mum later and im back in the same place . the mirror , judgeing , hating on myself but hey tommorow is a new day right a new day of struggles .

the end... For now .

thanks so much guys for reading i understand it's a bit dark and i do apologise but i wanted to spread awarness or bulling and the affects of it on surtain people please dont hate on puntuallity and spelling im trying my best many thanks

Heidi (liam xoxo ) !

[glitchdollmemoria]

already talked about this elsewhere but im worried about my memory getting rusty and i dont wanna forget this so into the vault it goes

it was a while that i was at least curious about mspec mono labels and such. a bit in denial but wanting to at least learn more about them. jumpcut to me actually finally taking the time to consider the relationship between my gender and my sexuality, torn between feeling like certain labels were right + questioning if i had the right to use them. im simultaneously dealing with whatever schizospec shit ive been dealing extra with lately, and so that lands me spacing out at work, barely holding myself together to just finish closing up shop, and literally all my brain can manage to focus on is repeating the phrases "i think im a lesboy. i think im a bi lesbian. i think i need to lez out" over and over for like an hour while i finish my shift and walk home. finally i get back to my place, and i check the mail, and im at the mailbox and i look up and i see a meteor, and its so close that i could see the way it burned up in the atmosphere, and with my senses all fucky it felt even closer in the moment, like it was right in front of my nose. completely breathtaking. and, again, schizo shit, i cant say this isnt just my own brain being weird, but it very much felt like G-d was affirming things for me, like He was telling me to snap out of it and stop fixating so much and just do what felt right.

really, thinking about it now, i think a shooting star is pretty accurate to my queerness. meteors are so temporary and bright and you get to see them in this split second moment if youre lucky enough to witness them. then they burn up and theyre gone. i think all the different facets of my gender and orientation together could be pictured like a meteor shower, so many different feelings that last for a short time, and then theres a new one, and another. and like a meteor shower there can be so many burning in the sky all at once, not at exactly the same time but overlapping with each other. ive had to teach myself not to treat my gender or sexuality as something permanent, but instead as something constantly shifting, where i have to feel the joy of each little "shooting star" in the moments that it exists, and then move on to whatever "shooting star" i see next. i think thats a lot more fun and doable than trying to put myself into a specific box forever.

[spideyharrington]

His Favorite Song

Summary: Peter tries so hard to balance Peter Parker’s life with Spider-Man’s. But even superheroes can’t carry that much weight on their own. Good thing Y/N is there to catch him when he inevitably falls.

Warnings: mild anxiety attack; peter being overwhelmed; little angst before fluff but i cant rly do angst so it pretty much skips to fluff lol

A/N: wrote this very late on a whim while listening to sad songs sooooo it’s short and messy but 🤷‍♀️ maybe i’ll try some angst tomorrow or tuesday if i’m still feeling kinda angsty 🤭 i’ll probably cry writing it because sad peter is the worst thing to imagine but who doesn’t enjoy causing themselves emotional pain every now and then 🤩

word count: 1.6k

It was your typical sunday afternoon; Peter out patrolling for awhile while you do your weekly grocery shopping. As you walk through the store heading to grab bananas, there’s this strange feeling in your gut. A feeling you get so rarely, but when you do it never means anything good. You tried to joke with yourself that it was your own spidey-sense but it only made you think of Peter and it made the feeling that much worse. You tried focusing on the music playing in your earbuds to distract yourself, trying to convince yourself it was just your silly anxiety at it again, but not even your favorite 80s songs would make the feeling go away. That’s when you knew oh fuck. something is very very wrong.

You quickly grabbed the last few important groceries and rushed out of the store. In the car you tried calling Peter, twenty-two times within five minutes to be exact, but it was no use. The phone just rang and rang. You had gotten so anxious in the ten minute drive to Peter’s that you hadn’t played any music in the car, palms sweating as you drove as fast as you could without getting in an accident.

You finally arrived at Peter’s hoping, no, praying, he was home. You lost count of how many times you knocked on his door. No one was answering. The gut feeling grew much more intense. You thought maybe you were gonna be sick, but you forced yourself to get back in the car and go home. Maybe Peter was there. You recall what he had told you the last time you were scared he wasn’t coming back from patrol.

“Y/N, no matter how broken i get out there, i will always come home to you. If I can’t swing, I’ll run. If I can’t run, I’ll walk. If I can’t walk I’ll fucking crawl home to you. I promise I could never ever leave you behind.”

God, of course if something was wrong he would be at your home and not his own. If he made it away from whatever psycho he was fighting that day… You gripped your steering wheel tight. Knuckles going white.

You finally pull up to your apartment, half-assing your park job. Your car was kinda the least of your worries right now. You run inside and fumble with your keys, getting frustrated when you drop them from shaking too hard. You take a deep breathe and finally unlock the door. You immediately check the couch in the main room, no one. You check your room, no one. You even check the bathroom to see if maybe he took a shower, no one. You almost start panicking even more, somehow, but then you heard something. “The fire escape! Fuck I didn’t check the fire escape!” You basically yell to yourself.

You open your window and sure enough there’s Spider-Man. You would be relieved if he wasn’t leaning on the rusty metal breathing heavily.

“Peter?” You whisper, kneeling next to him. He just turns his head over to look at you, and you start panicking but you manage to help him get inside, taking off his mask once you closed the window. You sat him so he was leaning up against the wall.

“Peter? Peter! Pete, can you hear me?” You saw him look at you but it was more like he was looking through you. It was that moment you were able to calm down. You knew that look all too well. You were still worried about him, but at least you knew he wasn’t hurt. Not physically at least.

“Pete. Hey, it’s ok. I’m here I’ve got you,” you instantly sit on the floor next to him, putting his head in your lap as you run your fingers through his unruly hair with one hand while you hold tightly onto his hand with your free one. You sit like that for a good few minutes until his breathing finally steadies itself.

“Pete, what happened?” You asked in the softest voice you possibly could. To your surprise, you feel him start to shake slightly as he holds onto your waist with almost a painful grip.

“That bad?” You frown deeply, “Do you wanna try to get out of that suit? Maybe it’ll help you feel a little better sweets. Then you can talk about whatever happened if you want to,” He lazily nods and lifts up his head. You wipe his tears away with your sleeve and give him a small smile.

After he was able to successfully change out of the suit and into sweatpants and an oversized Beastie Boys shirt, which you had found at a thrift store months ago and it became his favorite shirt of yours to steal to sleep in, he climbed onto your bed to you. He laid his head on your chest holding onto you tightly, but not as tightly as before. You resume playing with his hair and you see him close his eyes as he listens to the steady beating of your heart for a moment.

“Pete do you wanna talk about it?” He was silent for a moment before answering, “I thought I could handle this. I thought I could handle having Peter stuff while doing Spider-Man stuff. But I can’t. Y/N I cant handle this shit anymore,” you heard his voice break and it broke your heart.

“Sweetie, listen to me. It would be hard for anyone to balance two life’s like that at once. You can’t expect yourself to be able to just because you’re Spider-Man. You may be a hero, but you’re also just a man. You have super strength physically, not mentally,” Peter laughed very lightly at the end, “Ok I know I worded that weird, but you get my point Pete. Believe it or not you’re not invincible.”

“I know I know. It’s just… I feel like it’s my responsibility to be out there keeping people safe twenty-four/seven, but it also feels so unfair to you. When I’m here with you I feel safe and warm, but there’s this guilt I feel. I feel selfish for indulging in something so nice when I could be using this time to help people. But, when I’m out there fighting crime, I feel good for helping so many people and using my powers for good, but on the other hand I feel awful for leaving you alone for so long. I know you don’t need me to be around every second of every day but I also know you need me for more than just a few hours a day. Some days you don’t even see me at all until some ungodly hour in the middle of the night, or early morning for that matter-“ you cut off his rant.

“Peter. stop it,” he looks up at you with furrowed brows, “You keep doing this. You keep blaming yourself for every tiny little microscopic thing you can find. Yes, with your abilities you have some intense responsibilities. Yes, you have responsibilities in a relationship. But you cannot beat yourself up every time your responsibilities clash. It’s out of your control Peter. And I never blame you for any of it, ok? I need you to know that. I never get mad because I understand it isn’t your fault. But I need you to understand that too Pete. ‘Cause I cant handle seeing you like this. I know that’s selfish to say, but it absolutely shatters my heart to see you in so much pain. Pain that you cause by being too harsh on yourself.”

Peter stays quiet, just staring into your eyes. He can see you trying to hold back your own tears. He sits up and puts a hand on your cheek, rubbing it gently back and forth. He then puts his forehead to yours and you both close your eyes as your breathing syncs with his. He tangles his free hand in your hair and kisses you so softly that you wonder for a moment if he even actually kissed you. He pulls back before you bring him in to kiss him again. You still kiss him softly, but more passionately this time. When you both pull away, you just smile at him which of course makes him smile back and his eyes light up.

“Call off work tomorrow, yeah? We’ll have a John Hughes marathon as a little reset. I think we both deserve it,” as you look into those deep brown eyes, you know there’s no telling him no, so you nod and smile at him.

After you both talk for another hour, or maybe two, you finally settle in your bed, both feeling incredibly tired. Peter puts his head on your chest again as he wraps his arms around you and tangles his legs in yours, a thing you’ve found that he does when he wants to make sure you don’t go anywhere.

“I think this is my favorite song,” Peter randomly stated and you looked at him confused, “Pete, there’s no music. Are you ok? I mean, you don’t have a concussion do you?” To that, Peter chuckled.

“I don’t have a concussion ladybug. I meant the sound of your heart,” It was your turn to let out a little laugh, “I’m serious Y/N! We should take a microphone to your chest and broadcast the boom boom boom boom and make ‘em all dance to it!”

“Did you just… Did you just say that to quote Lorde?”

“I did really want to quote that song. But I bet if everyone could listen to your heartbeat they’d have no choice but to be completely and totally ok. Even if it’s just for a moment.”

“There’s my Peter Parker,” you smile, kissing him on the head.

[sexualsebstan]

Santa Baby-Bucky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: implied smut, possibly v bad writing because I’m rusty but I really hope you guys enjoy this one. Feedback is encouraged. I also didn’t proofread so any mistakes.. oh well.

Tag: for @yetanotherravenclaw cause they said they wanted some Bucky x reader like this so, I hope I did you justice!

Oh, how delicious she looked in that deep red velvet mini dress, white faux fur lining the bottom seam and the neckline. It hugged her nicely, showing off the shape of her greatly, paired along with the same shade of red garter belts on her thighs, white over the knee socks. Make up done up to the nines, hair in beautiful curls, reminiscent of pin up girls.

Red heels clicked against the hard wood, as she approached the former soldier, noticing he was occupied with other things.

“Jaames,” she called out his name in a low, sultry sing song way, smirking as she toyed with the remote in her hand, waiting to hit play as soon as he turned around. “I have an early present for you.”

Bucky couldn’t believe what was in front of him, his breath sucked from his lungs. His flesh palm started to shake slightly, and he couldn’t deny his mouth both became dry and watered at the same time at the sight.

The tell-tale sign of his left hands fingers twitching was the soft whirring of the mechanics.

“Y/n- you-“ he stumbled across his words, standing completely still as his ever so beautiful blue eyes raked over her form.

“Looks good, huh, Buck?” She purred, pushing away from the wall she was leaned against, accentuating the sway in her hips as she sashayed over to him.

“Yeah.” It was all he could breath out in response, eyes widening as he watched her.

“Sit for me? I promise you’ll like this.” He was like putty. The once feared super soldier reduced to nothing just at the mere sight of his beloved girlfriend. All he could do was nod, eagerly sitting in one of the chairs close by and watching her every move.

That’s when the festive music filled the area, though Bucky could tell it’s undertone almost immediately.

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me

Been an awful good girl

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

She’s placed the remote on the coffee table, sauntering over as one hand placed over his right shoulder, moving to stand behind him. Her lips curled into an almost sinister smirk as she leaned down and whispered along to the words, boasting she’d been good all year long. The mere action made him shudder as he felt chills running down his spine, adjusting in his seat as to get relief to his lower region.

Santa baby, a ‘54 convertible too, light blue

I’ll wait up for you, dear

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

His tongue ran along his lips in hunger as he watched her hips sway along to the beat of the song, standing with one leg outside his left leg, the other on the inside. He could feel just how much this affected him, and knew she could see it as well. It only made her continue on.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed

Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed

Next year I could be just as good

If you’ll check off my Christmas list

She moved so fluidly, it was almost as if she’s done this many times before. Perhaps she practiced. The former Sargent didn’t know, didn’t care, just wanted to watch her. Watch as her movements swirled and rocked against him, then left him so easily with a playful smirk on her features. The deep chuckle wasn’t able to be contained.

“You’re gonna kill me, Doll.” He groaned out as he watched her, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Santa baby, I want a yacht and really that’s not a lot

Been an angel all year

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Now her back was turned to him, as she made her way down, leaning back against his chest as his hands slipped up her sides, needing to touch her in that moment. God, she was perfect. Made him feel like a new man with everything she did. Her head fell against his left shoulder, giggling softly at the whir in her ear from the mechanics of the arm working as he ran his fingers along the soft red velvet.

“Doll, keep that up and you won’t be able to make it to tomorrow.” He warned against her throat that his lips had attached to, leaving gentle yet needy kisses against her.

Santa honey one thing I really do need, the deed

To a platinum mine

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

She’s moved off his lap, leaving him to nearly whine at the loss of her warmth and the want to have her body pressed against his. He nearly could contain himself as he watched her move, almost in a way to tease him. Watching her bend and expose what the dress couldn’t cover, it revealed the wondrous sight of lacy, thin, red thong.

He couldn’t hold it back anymore, reaching out as soon as she straightened and turned, pulling her into him once more.

“You’re gonna regret teasing me.” He growled, metal hand finding purchase on her outer thigh, squeezing the flesh. The other, finding it’s way across her bottom, coming off and she hummed a little in dissatisfaction. Yet, it came back with a biting force, forcing a yelp from her and then a chuckle from the man beneath her.

“Told you,”

“Bucky, you cant. This was suppose to be something for the whole song.” She whined, head tilting back as his lips, teeth and tongue ran along the ever so soft skin of her throat, eliciting a breathy moan from her.

“Mmm, but I can, princess.” His reply came lowly as he nipped and marked his way down to the neckline of the garment she wore. “And I will.” Another stinging slap to her bottom, and her lip was drawn between her teeth to suppress the moans.

She could feel just what this little ‘present’ did to him, the undergarment she wore not hiding the arousal between her own thighs.

——————————

That night, she’d learned her lesson on teasing Bucky with a dance such as she did. He made sure to give her the proper aftercare. Massaging her sore bottom with his cool vibranium hand, the feeling of it nice against the bright red and stinging skin. He also made sure the other marks he left over her were taken care of, muscles relaxed with a gentle massage.

Bucky couldn’t deny he’d go to lengths for this wonderful woman, and after care was one of those. Since the first time, he’d always done things like that.

Showered her with love and affection, and she drank it all in. He was just too perfect not to love.

And she’d love him always.

To be truthful, that’d probably be the best present he’d receive for the holiday....

Yet.

[lizord-lord]

The Sides As Quotes From Discord

these ones are old lol and remy’s here too

Roman: *puts hand up to friends forehead as if taking temperature* I diagnose you with Gay.

Roman: NO KITCHEN IS SAFE FROM MY WRATH

Virgil: someone keeps leaving their socks in the lifeguarding hut and if they do it one more time i’m going to unravel the socks thread by thread

Virgil: It represents how I feel inside Patton: Why are you screaming inside stop that

Remy: press D for disrespects Roman: F for fuck You Deceit: L for lies Logan: W for what the fuck Patton: C is for cuddles

Patton: am I the only one who eats three meals in this house? Virgil: yes Logan: yes Roman: yes

Roman: Roses are red violets are red everything is red, I have spilled paint

Virgil: costco has big dick energy

Remy: people are hard to recognize naked

Virgil: I shall now enjoy the free sample of death

Virgil: yeet Virgil: the window Virgil: out of the window Patton: no Virgil: yeet shoes Patton: no Virgil: yeet air Patton: ...how? Virgil: breathe yeetingly Virgil: breathingly yeet Virgil: beeathingly yeetinyly breathe yeet

Patton, placing an eraser on Logan’s head: Beans Logan: Please stop being like this

Virgil: Having a fucking distilled water icon mother fucking jumpscare me in the middle of my fucking story like a FNAF game or some shit is the weirdest fucking thing to happen to me but it was also fucking terrifying why the fuck do I still have Thomas with a fucking water bottle icon because "ha distilled water is neutral and Thomas is neutral" well ha ain't that fucking funny the mother fucking water bottles are coming for my soul now and it's all my fucking fault FUCK YOU DISTILLED WATER WHAT THE FUCK

Roman: There are two kinds of people. The ones that get some sleep and the ones that get fucked

Virgil: You want what cellphone. WHAT?! The fucking charger's D?!

Patton: Except slugs don’t eat meat, they’d probably just curl up and cry.

Roman: i still feel kinda cute but like DIE

Roman: I CANT BE GAY PAST WORKING HOURS

Virgil over voice call: You're our hostage now! Roman also over voice call:You shall never escape our wra- Patton: Sorry guys, I need to go to Walmart! Virgil: Um sir, our hostage left to go to Walmart

Logan: Hey Roman, wanna see something? Roman: ...Okay? Logan: Say something that you don’t like. Like, something bad that’s happening Roman: Uh...I have to go to work today? Logan: Oh, that’s sad. Hey Siri...play Despacito Virgil: *bursts out of room* WhO tAuGhT yOu ThAt-

Virgil: I don't sleep. I try a free sample of death

Roman: do you ever just make a silly decision but then something else happens and it's like no turning back like you decide not to turn on the bathroom light and that's fine but then you close the door and realize it's now pitch black and you could just turn on the light but no, I made this choice and I shall piss in the dark

Patton:BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Roman: You went from smut to angst in 1 shower

Logan: fear my sound mind and face of lenny

Remy: the alien ritual for mating is: 1. Procure object of affection 2. Kill any opposition- assert dominance in any way possible 3. Create nest for mate, bring them to it for them to reject or accept a. if rejected, tear nest apart and try again b. if accepted- copulate Roman: 'throw a tantrum' is an alien step to courting, man, i might have alien game

Virgil: Worm Logan: What?? Virgil: WORM Logan: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN Virgil: worm :) Logan: WHAT THE FUCK VIRGIL

Logan: we are just future deceased people. Roman: you cant prove im not immortal.

Virgil: whenever someone asks for salt I'm scared I'll be thrown across the table

Roman: yes we did discuss how people would come for our blood, and we would perch on our thrones, sip tea, and laugh

Roman: DAMMIT DISCORD MY FILES ARE NOT 'TOO POWERFUL' YOU'RE JUST W E A K

Logan: go take your bass-ackwards, narrow minded, unimaginative thinking somewhere deep into the pits of your own asshole and get the fuck outta my face.

Patton: IM GONNA MAIL MYSELF TO YOUR HOME AND JUMP OUT LIKE A FUCKING STRIPPER FROM A CAKE, BUT IT WILL BE A BOX AND ILL BE HOLDING A RUSTY PIPE

Roman: Perfect. I'll be a glittery, deadly tornado of indiscriminate strikes.

Virgil: you absolute douche canoe

Patton: Didn't you say your doctor told you to cut down on the coffee? Virgil: We're still in single digits at 3pm. That is 'cutting down' for me.

Patton: Are you okay Virgil? I haven't heard you play MCR in a while so I wanted to make sure you're still doing well

Virgil: what are cishets, is that some new vegetable Roman: Idk I’m still not convinced that my cishet friend isn’t actually just a bunch of velociraptors in a trench coat

Patton: I've been calling baby ducks the wrong thing for my entire 21 years of existence..... I have always called them quacklings

Virgil: also: Deceit, I have a present for you! I really think you'll like it! Virgil: It's a rocketship Virgil: now go to the sun

Patton: THESE GUYS NEED TO FUCK OFF!! Logan: that is not a subjective statement. However *throws a bunch of studies on child separation in your face* THIS IS AN OBJECTIVE FUCK OFF!"

Roman: I may be a mess but I can't look like one

(who said what under the cut)

Fae @theshipqueenarrives

Airam (no tumblr)

Nat @plan-with-a-pan

Yuthika @supremestoverlord Yuthika’s dad

Jensen @purediscordhell Allana (no tumblr) Jensen Nat Hela @why-things-go-boom

Allana’s brother Allana Allana’s sister Allana’s mom

Fae

Me

Elena @impatentpending

Ierin @ierindoodles

Dev (yeet) @deverick-racoma Dee (anti-yeet) @nirascharacterdump

Sparrow @poisonedapples Sparrow’s brother

Sparrow

Ierin

Ierin

My mom

Me

Yuthika

Fae’s friend Fae’s other friend Fae Fae’s friend

Sparrow’s dad Sparrow’s mom Sparrow’s dad Sparrow’s mom Sparrow’s dad Sparrow

Ierin

Me

Dee

Me

Me

Jack @patton-croc-agenda Me

Liz @pinkeasteregg Liz’s friend (not tumblr or gay)

Ezra @starry-eyed-haiku-dreamer Ezra’s friend

Ierin

Me

Em

Tori @typical-torii

Tori

Tori

Em @em-be-lievable Em’s friend Em

Mason’s stepdad (mason has a tumblr but I can never find what it is)

Me Em

Avery @the-incedible-sulk

Me

Me (as patton and logan)

Nat

[joonbird]

Fire & Desire | 1

➭ “Kim Seokjin is everything you don’t want in a man. Cocky, full of himself and oh so annoying. And that’s what makes him the perfect fuck buddy. Because it’s not like you could ever see him as anything more than a heartless player... right?”

pairing: seokjin x reader

genre: smut, fuckboy!jin, dom!Jin

wordcount: 10.1k

a/n: *that* shower scene → inspired by this picture!

part one | two | three

You have a crush. 

It seems a bit silly to use the word crush, but really – it’s the most fitting word to describe how you feel when you’re around him. Your chest squeezes when you think about how he smiles with his eyes first lips second, your heartbeat rutting at a rapid pace when imagine him directing one of those smiles at you. Yep, definitely a crush. You have a crush, a big, embarrassing, painful crush, on no other than Kim Namjoon.

Kim Namjoon. Kim Namjoon is known to most as the newly promoted junior partner of your firm, a man with a sharp brain and an even sharper tongue. You however, know him as the man who has you thinking ‘oh my god he’s looking at me don’t blush don’t you dare fucking blush’ on an all too regular basis.

Of course, it’s not like he notices you. He’s your type to a tee, the kind of man you always imagined yourself ending up with. But his gaze always scans right past you -  when all you want is for it to linger. 

That is, until now.

“Hey,” Namjoon hovers above your desk and his eyes meet yours. Your breath leaps in your throat and you immediately pin your shoulders back, hoping that you look poised, elegant. A blush colours your cheeks when you realize you’re overthinking your actions, as if good posture will somehow make him wildly attracted to you.

Still, you pull your shoulders back and smile at him.

“…” 

A long silence stretches between the two of you, he clears his throat with an embarrassed tilt of his head, and you realize that he doesn’t even remember your name.

“Y/N,” You stammer out quickly and Namjoon nods. 

“Of course. Y/N. I was wondering…” His voice dips and for a wild moment you fantasize about the words that are about to come out of his mouth.

“… Do you mind photocopying this file? I would ask that new intern, but he’s already left for the day.” He adds a little smile at the end of his words and you can’t help but melt, like butter over a stack of pancakes. 

You’ve been working at this firm for nearly a year and you didn’t suffer through the hellish ordeal of law school to merely photocopy... but still, you find yourself nodding. The file is well over 200 pages and going to take a year to photocopy, but you grab it like it’s a god damn golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. 

Namjoon doesn’t notice the blush spreading across your cheeks and he’s already glancing down at his phone, and with an absentminded ‘Thanks’, he strolls away.

You’re bent over the photocopier, trying to figure out how you’re supposed to change the ink cartridges when the machine doesn’t seem to have any clear instructions whatsoever, when you hear voices.

You recognize them immediately – Namjoon’s calm voice melodic against the deeper, huskier voice of Kang Minho. Minho is one of the associates in your firm, an older man whose default mode is one of condescension. Particularly towards the few women employed at your firm. Needless to say, you aren’t a fan. 

They’ve clearly stopped in your office’s large break room to grab a coffee, and you wave at them, but neither men notice.

“…So tonight’s the big night, huh?” Minho’s voice floats down and you pause, intrigued. 

You wonder if you should say something, reveal that you’re down here on the ground grappling with ink cartridges. However, a morbid curiosity shushes the words before they can leave your lips. You duck down so they cant spot you, feeling somewhat like a fugitive.

“Yeah,” You hear Namjoon answer, followed by a chuckle. “Man, I’m fucking rusty. I haven’t been laid in months. I haven’t even talked to a woman in months.” He laughs ruefully and your eyes widen. 

“I know what you mean,” Minho sighs. “When are we gonna get some better looking ladies in here? I could use a hot little PA, not an old fucking crone. Have you seen Beth? I wouldn’t fuck her if you paid me.” 

Namjoon just laughs in response and you wrinkle your nose at the crudeness the two men are exuding.

“Although,” Minho muses. “There’s Y/N, that new lawyer, right? She’s pretty hot.” 

Your eyes widen when you hear your name, and you realize you’re holding your breath when you hear Namjoon make a noise that can be best described as the vocalization of an ‘ehhhh’.

“She doesn’t count,” Namjoon says finally, and you blink. “She’s like another guy.” 

Minho laughs loudly in response. “True.”

Fuck! You’re squeezing the ink cartridge and it explodes in your hands, sending black ink all over your palms. The sound of the cartridge clattering to the floor causes you to jump, and cringing, you scrabble to duck lower behind the photocopy machine. 

“What was that?” You hear Namjoon question, and you pray to all the divinities out there to stop him from rounding the corner.

“Dunno man. It’s probably nothing. Come on, let’s bounce.” Minho responds, and you breathe out a sigh of relief when you hear the sound of their footsteps retreating. 

You stay still for a moment, crouched over, your hands covered in ink. 

You squeeze your eyes shut, suddenly all too aware of the horrible sensation in your your chest. You want to cry. And not just a few tears, a big, ugly, chest-pain cry.

She doesn’t count? Like another guy? 

You ball up your fists and will yourself to be strong. You hate this- the sharp whip of rejection swelling in your chest. He’s an asshole, you chant internally, who cares what he thinks, you add to the chant. The need to cry subsides, but the sting doesn’t.

You finally stand up and walk to the bathroom, you scrub your hands one, twice, three times, the routine calming you down. By the time your hands are relatively clean, you’re feeling better. 

You leave the bathroom and walk down the hallway of cubicles, past the symphony of clacking keyboards and tired sighs. It’s already late, the sun melting into the skyline, and yet half of your team is still hard at work. Any other night and you would be working away alongside them. 

It’s the price you have to pay if you want to climb up the career ladder in this profession. You have to give up any semblance of a life, let alone a love life. How long has it since you’ve gone on a date, had sex, or even interacted with a guy? Aside from photocopying files for a man like you’re a nameless, voiceless intern, you think to yourself bitterly. 

You reach your tiny cubicle and stare miserably at the stack of papers on your desk, the open laptop, the cup of coffee. It’s Friday night and your plans were to finish your work, go home, cuddle your cat and sleep. 

Some Friday night.

Maybe it’s the frustration blooming in your chest, or the wooden feeling from being reduced to ‘she’s pretty hot/she doesn’t count’ by two of your colleagues.

Whatever it is, it ignites in your chest as you slam your laptop closed and swipe your wallet off of your table. 

“It’s Friday fucking night,” You mutter to yourself. “And I need a drink.”

“He’s an ass.” Irene says, authority lacing her voice. “Truly. An ass.” 

You’re sitting at a dive bar around the corner from your house, a nearly empty bottle of wine sitting in front of you. It’s getting late, and you’ve been complaining to your best friend for hours. The more alcohol you consume the more you feel fired up, it feels like annoyance is running through your veins. Annoyance and red wine, that is.

“I’m the ass.” You mutter. “I’m done with men. I’m done with feelings. I’m done with being passive and not taking charge of my own life.” You end your sentence with emphasis, lifting your glass to your lips. Irene just laughs, pointing her glass at you. 

“Don’t be like that, you’ll meet the right guy. I did.” She punctuates her words with an angelic smile and you just shake your head at her words. 

“I don’t want to meet the right guy. Seriously,” You whine. “I’m done with feelings. I’m done with caring so much. What’s the point? You get invested and you get burned. Fuck that!” 

Irene just shrugs. “I mean-”

A loud laugh cuts through Irene’s voice- an obnoxious laugh, one that immediately annoys you. 

Your eyes fall straight on him, and to be completely honest- it’s hard not to, because he’s the kind of man the demands attention. He’s standing at the centre of the bar, leaning against the damn thing like he owns the place. 

He’s handsome- and you can tell he knows he’s handsome. You can see it in the way he carries himself, you can sense it in the lines of his shoulders- he is exuding the kind of easy confidence that only truly beautiful people have. 

He’s in conversation with a woman- she’s gorgeous, clad in a black dress that is molded to her curves like hot fudge dripping off a sundae. She’s simpering at him, her eyes wide and hopeful. 

Curiousity piqued, you watch as he laughs again –such an unattractive laugh for such an attractive man- and you’re amazed by how the woman continues to stare at him like he’s God’s gift to man. Complete and utter doe eyes. 

Even though he has most of his attention on her, he’s still glancing around the room, giving other women moments of eye contact, little smirks. He’s keeping his options open, you realize. He’s eyefucking half the room.

“Seokjin,” You hear her voice ring out, she pouts at him. “That’s such an amazing story. You’re so brave.”

He leans in closer to her and nods somberly. “I try to be,” You can hear him say in a serious tone. “I mean I have to be a brave guy, right? To talk to a woman as beautiful and out of my league as yourself?”

Ugh, what a fucking line. You roll your eyes, expecting the woman to see straight through him. Instead, her eyes light up and her cheeks blush pink.

You can’t believe she doesn’t spot how him he switches from spinning lines like a K-drama actor to being completely bored, the second she glances away. He’s a player, and a good one. A very good one. 

He’s charming, handsome, the textbook definition of princely. He works the sweet ‘I want to date you’ card to the right woman… and, you bet, he can flip it and become a complete asshole before that some woman can even blink.

“Pathetic,” You mumble under your breath. 

Almost as if he hears you, he glances up, his eyes meeting yours. 

Looking at him front on, you’re disarmed momentarily by how beautiful he is. Full lips, wavy hair, and piercing eyes… eyes that are staring right into yours, with no subtlety whatsoever. He’s trying to figure you out and when you give him absolutely nothing, his lips curl into a smirk. 

His gaze is focused and appreciative, as if he’s undressing you and he likes what he sees. You roll your eyes and tear your eyes away from him, forcing yourself to look at something else, anything else. 

“That guy won’t stop staring at you,” Irene hisses under her breath. 

You glance up at her with a deadpan expression. 

“Are you sure he isn’t staring at you?”

She sighs impatiently. “Yes I’m sure! Oh my god, he’s so hot. I’m wet just looking at him.”

You laugh, swatting your friend. “Too much information Irene… which guy?”

“The one who looks like a model!”

You glance up surreptitiously to see that same guy, still staring straight at you. The woman he was chatting up earlier is still by his side, batting her eyelashes at him, but he’s not even facing her. 

His eyes are on you.

“Please,” You roll your eyes. “He’s the kind of guy who’s too in love with himself to pay any attention to the girl he’s with. Probably gets off to his own photos.”

Irene sighs dreamily. “And I don’t blame him if he does. I would too. He’s seriously so- Oh my God, I think he’s walking over…”

You glance up in mild panic, seeing him sauntering over to you.

“Hi,” He says, stopping right in front of your table and offering you a smile. “I’m sorry for staring, it’s just… you’re the most beautiful woman here. Did you know that?”

You hear Irene let out a little sigh and you just purse your lips, unimpressed.

“And you’re the most obvious guy here, did you know that?” You retort icily. 

He’s unbothered by your comment, instead, he just lifts an eyebrow.

“You ladies out for some drinks?” He asks, glancing from you to your friend. 

“No, we’re here to raise sheep. What do you think we’re doing?” You snapback, holding up your glass of wine and waving it in his face. 

He just cocks his head to one side, a smile dancing on his lips. 

“You’re funny,” He comments. “I like that in a woman.” He gives you a slow, charming smile and you just stare at him with an uninterested expression.

“Sure you do,” You respond sarcastically. His grin widens.

“Kim Seokjin. My friends call me Jin.” He introduces, holding out his hand, and you ignore him.

“This is Y/N,” You hear Irene scrambling, you shoot her a death stare and she just grins innocently at you. “I should head home,” She announces, grabbing her purse and standing up. “Tae’s waiting for me.” 

Seokjin is still staring at you, he doesn’t even turn his head to look at Irene. 

You shoot her a warning glance and she just grins at you, mouthing, He’s cute! You give her a look that says, I’m going to kill you.

“Irene-” You begin but she just chirps out, “Bye!” And flounces off. 

Great.

“Y/N,” Seokjin says thoughtfully. “Pretty name.”

You put your wine glass down and glare at him. “Please. Stop. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re painfully obvious. I’m not interested.”

Surprise darts over his face.

“I’m not trying to do-”

“Like I said! Cut it,” You interrupt him, you hold his gaze for a long moment before he shakes his head, laughing. 

“Bad day?” He answers simply, you give him a withering stare in response.

“What, you think the only reason for me not falling all over you could be that I’m having a bad day?”

Seokjin just grins. “No, I can just read you like a book. Tell me I’m wrong then. That you’re not having a bad day.”

You let out a little huff. Seokjin just smirks at you. 

“You’re so tense,” He comments lightly, carelessly. “I can see it in your shoulders.” His eyes linger on your body and you let out a scoff.

“I’m tense because you’re here.” You snap at him, and Seokjin leans in closer.

He’s so brash and so confident that you’re momentarily taken aback.

“I can help you get rid of some of that tension, if you like.”

“Not a chance in hell,” You growl, shaking your head at him. Seokjin pauses, surveying you thoughtfully.

“Look, I meant what I said. You’re the hottest woman here. And I’m the hottest guy here.” He finishes his sentence with a nonchalant grin and a wink.

Your jaw drops a little at the sheer audacity of what he’s suggesting, narrowing your eyes. 

“You’re so-” You begin, irritation prickling over your skin, and he just grins, cutting you off smoothly. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re attracted to me, right?” He leans in closer as he speaks and you feel your breath catch in your throat. He smells good, he’s wearing cologne but he also smells like something else, like fresh linen.

This close, you’re practically swimming in his eyes and you can’t help but feel a buzz of heat in your body.

“I…” Your voice stammers out and a confident smirk settles over Seokijn’s face. You stare at him up and down. He’s confident, so damn confident, like you’ve already said yes, and you suppose for a moment that maybe you have. He’s attractive. Really, really attractive.

You grab your wine glass in an attempt to down it all in one gulp. Instead, your hand collides with the glass and sends it flying... straight on Jin’s lap.

He lets out a small yelp and jumps in surprise as the dark burgundy liquid soaks straight through his cream coloured jumper. 

“Oh my God!” Your hands fly to your mouth and you feel your cheeks burn scarlet as you fumble around on your table for a napkin. You twist your body around and your elbow collides with Jin’s drink.

The second drink topples onto Jin and then onto the floor with a loud crash, the glass splintering into crystalline pieces. 

Your jaw drops and you see Jin grimace. 

“I’m sorry, that was an accident, I swear,” You babble and Jin just lifts his eyes to meet yours. 

“I have to say, I’ve had women throw drinks at me before but never like that.” He says drily. 

“It wasn’t-” You begin but Jin just shoots you a look of faint irritation. 

“Next time just say ‘no thanks’ and leave it at that.” He mutters. 

Your jaw drops and you feel a spike of annoyance flare up inside of you, but before you can bite back a retort, one of the bartenders marches over, irritation creasing his face.

“Time to go,” He says bluntly. Both you and Jin’s heads snap to look at the man, whose arms are folded, lips pressed in a firm line.

“I’m sorry, it was an accident-”

“I don’t care,” He interrupts in a short, tight voice. “We’re nearly at a full capacity and you just broke two glasses. Now I’ve gotta vacuum and sweep this entire area. Out.” 

The protest dies from your lips when you see all of the broken glass littering the floor. You nod meekly, turning and slinking out of the bar, Jin following suit. 

“Ugh,” Jin mutters in annoyance as you step outside. He looks down at himself pointedly. “I’m all wet and sticky now. Thanks a lot.”

“Sticky?” You echo. “What the hell were you drinking?”

Jin lifts his chin defiantly. “Peach mojito.” He says in a pert voice and you can’t help the giggle that spills out of your mouth. He narrows his eyes at you.

“A peach mojito?” You repeat, giggling. 

“They’re delicious and high in alcohol content, for your information.”

You laugh again, once again slightly taken aback by how upfront he is. He wears everything on his sleeve, you realize- not his heart, because you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have one. But he’s not hiding anything. He may be an A-grade player, but he owns it, at least. Oddly enough you appreciate it. 

“Whatever you say, Seokjin.”

Jin narrows his eyes at you. “Hey! I’ve been kicked out of a bar and my clothes are ruined. I should be getting laid right now. Instead… I’m here. It’s just great.” He’s speaking with a hint of sarcasm and you watch as he runs a hand through his hair, letting out a sulky sigh.

“Sorry,” You try again. “Really.” 

Seokjin eyes you suspiciously for a moment before he shrugs. “S’alright. I’ll live. I’d just kill for a shower or something God, I feel gross.” He shudders and you feel a twinge of guilt.

“If you want,” You begin with a sigh. “My place is right around the corner. You can shower there and try get some of that out of your clothes.” You eye the humongous red stain on the front of his jumper and he glances at you.

“Your place?” He repeats, and you cut him off before that now familiar smirk makes another appearance.

“Just because I feel bad for you.” You clarify. “There’s no chance in hell. I’m honestly not that attracted to you. You don’t affect me.”

He just smiles at you. “That’s called denial, babe.”

“Nope,” You fire back. “It’s called honesty.”

Jin just laughs and shakes his head. “Okay okay,” He shrugs. “If you say I don’t affect you then I won’t try anything, promise. I’m a man of my word.” He raises his hand solemnly at you, like he’s reciting an oath, and you roll your eyes.

“Please stop talking. Are you coming or not?” 

“Alright,” He sighs. “Lead the way.”

You arrive at your place in five minutes. As you switch the light on and close the front door, Jin steps inside, gazing around gingerly.

You gesture at the door up on your right. “Bathroom’s over there.”

Seokjin nods at you and walks over as you check your phone. 1AM. 

“Hey,” Jin calls out from inside the bathroom, “What’s with your shower?”

You pad down the hallway and into the bathroom. Your eyes widen as you realize he’s standing there shirtless, in just his jeans.

“Uh,” You stammer, averting your eyes and coughing. Jin, unfazed by your awkward reaction to his half naked body, gazes around your bathroom. 

“So fancy,” He comments. “There’s a seat and everything.” 

He nods at the small bench tucked against one wall of the shower and you shrug, still not making eye contact with his torso.

“Yeah, the old owners were big time into new age renovations, and I guess a bench in the shower was one of them,” You clear your throat after you speak and Jin just nods slowly. He’s still looking around your spacious bathroom, an intrigued expression on his face.

“What the hell do you do for a living?” He asks in curiosity, and you flush.

“Lawyer,” You mumble. “You?” 

Seokjin just smirks at you. “Wouldn’t you like to know. Anyway. How do I turn on the tap in this fancy-ass shower?” He eyes the huge chrome tap in the centre of your shower dubiously. 

“Ah,” You start, leaning against the shower door. “Yeah it’s a bit different, you’ve gotta press the tap inwards with pressure and then turn it to the left.” 

Jin nods, frowning at the tap, for a moment before he leans in past you to grasp the tap. He’s close, his face pinched slightly in concentration. You draw in your breath involuntarily as he steps closer, but luckily the sharp intake of your breath is lost in the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. 

His shoulders flex as he adjusts the water pressure, and your eyes fall on the slopes of his shoulders, your stare lingering on his neck. You’ve never been a neck person but God, he has a nice neck.

“Huh.” Jin says lightly, but you barely register what he’s saying. The glass walls of your shower are slowly starting to mist up with steam and you’re still staring at Jin’s back. He has such a broad back, with a trim waist and strong shoulders. His skin is smooth, and you suddenly wonder what his shoulder blades would feel like if you dug your fingernails into them.

Jin turns his head to glance at you, catching your dumbfounded stare.

“What?” He huffs, and you open your mouth to say something, anything... but words evade you. 

You’re suddenly hyperaware of the fact that he’s nearly naked, and your eyes fall from his eyes down to his chest. 

He raises an eyebrow and smirks to himself when he notices your stare. It’s getting hot in the room, and you draw in your breath with a shuddery gasp as he dips his head down to you. 

His lips are mere inches away from yours, but he pauses. His eyes darken as his gaze trickles down from your eyes to your neck, skimming over your breasts. His eyes rake over your entire body, and his stare is pure heat. 

It’s like you can feel him lingering over every inch of you, and you swallow, absorbed in the way his neck tenses with arousal, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. Like earlier, isn’t subtle, and he’s not gazing at you with adoration. Quite the contrary – he’s looking at you with hungry, lust filled eyes. He’s blatant, and you can’t help but glance down, seeing the tent in his pants. You tilt your chin up, staring into his eyes. Willing him to kiss you.

Like he can read your mind, his lips inch closer to yours, and you don’t know whether it’s him or you who closes the distance first. Either way, you meet his lips in a fevered kiss. 

There’s nothing gentle about it, it isn’t tender, his lips slam into yours with an urgency that immediately gratifies you. You gasp into his mouth and feel your body tense, but he’s like liquid, smooth, assured, his hand reaching up to cup the back of your head, his other palm sliding down past your shoulder blades to settle on your lower back. 

The gratification doesn’t last long, because you want more, and you let out a low moan as his tongue licks your bottom lip. You tilt your head back, feeling your heart start to jackhammer in your chest as he kisses you long and deep.

He’s good at this- at kissing, he kisses with just as much confidence as you would expect, his hand cupping the back of your head, his tongue is deep and demanding. Your mind is racing, and just when you think you can’t feel more full of want, red hot, unadulterated want… Seokjin lets out a low, sweet moan into your mouth.

Jin steps away from you and his fingers grasp the metallic zipper of his jeans, and he pulls them off and steps out of them. Your eyes glide over his thighs, thick and strong, at the small V lines that slope inward to his dick. His dick, which is big, thicker than you anticipated, and completely erect. Your breath catches in your throat as he straightens, a smirk on his face.

“Join me?” He asks and he turns, stepping into the shower. Your breath locks in your throat and comes out as a strangled sound as your eyes land straight on his ass, he has a great ass. Scratch that, he has a great everything.

Your body is moving before your mind has fully registered what is going on, your fingers gripping at the bottom of your dress and yanking it over your head, your hands frantically curving around your back to unclip your bra. Heat and desperation is throbbing through you, your eyes locked on Jin, who is standing under the pouring water. 

He turns his head and his eyes meet yours, his eyes linger over the curve of your breasts and on your legs and he bites his lip, and you feel yourself start to unravel with desire. 

Your underwear are off, flung to the floor with the kind of carelessness that would normally make you cringe but to be quite honest you couldn’t care less.

You step into your shower and Jin is staring down at you with a smirk on his lips.

“Y/N,” He says your name and it rolls of his tongue and you feel a quiver of hunger deep in your core.

“Seokjin.” You say his name, you attempt to say it confidently but it comes out as a breathy groan. At the sound of your voice, Seokjin moves closer.

He doesn’t kiss you. Instead, he turns you around in one smooth movement so that your palms are flat against the shower wall. The tiles are cold against your skin, the steam swirling around the air, and you let out a shuddery gasp.

“You’re so annoying,” He leans in and murmurs in your ear, you feel his lips brushing teasingly against your earlobe and a shiver runs through your body.

“You are,” You breathe back, and his fingers latch firmly around your wrist. He has your arms pinned against the wall, and his neck crooked as his body locks yours in place. You feel weak from arousal, at feeling his body, so much larger than yours, curved around you like this. 

Jin lets go of one of your wrists, his hand trails over your arm and then down your spine. Your toes curl and you can’t help but arch your body back into his, the way he’s touching you has you entirely on edge. His fingers work quick patterns on your lower waist, right by the fleshy part of your hip. 

“I thought you said I don’t affect you,” He continues, his voice low.

“You don’t,” You reply, but your legs tremble and your words come out as a moan. Jin just hums, massaging his thumb into your hip. You’re aware of how you’re pushing off of the wall with your hands, it’s unlike you to be this needy, this desperate so fast but you can’t help yourself. 

Jin’s palm skims over your ass before he cups it in his hand, squeezing you.

“I think I do. As much as you don’t want to admit it…” He punctuates his words, massaging your ass in his hands before both of his hands are at your waist, spinning you around. You gasp again as you come face to face with him, he has an easy, confident smile on his face. 

“I think you are affected by me.”

You feel momentarily taken aback, this close he’s so handsome that it hurts, his eyes piercing into yours. And the confidence! He’s oozing with it, and as much as it annoyed you back in the bar, you can’t help but feel turned on by it body now. He skims the pad of his thumb over your pussy, right over your now throbbing slit, and you hiss in a breath. He pulls his hand away.

“And there’s my answer,” He murmurs in satisfaction. You feel a flash of sexual frustration, mingled with irritation. Your core is aching for him, a heavy thud between your legs, and you’re annoyed that he’s right. You are affected by him.

“Yeah, you’re hot. Is that what you wanted to hear, you ass?” You mutter, but the irritation drains out of your body when he presses his body against you. You can feel his erection against your ass and his hands grip your hips, pulling them against him. 

He lets out a small moan and you’re filled with a stirring of confidence from the fact that he seems to be just as turned on as you are.

“I’m so hard right now.” Jin mutters, and your feel a rush of arousal and pride at his words. 

“Good,” You respond, it’s all you can manage to say. Jin pushes you firmly against the shower wall, and once again the cool slick of the tile makes you gasp aloud. You see Jin’s eyes flash as he smirks, one hand pinning your hips down in place. 

He reaches up and runs his fingers through your hair, wrapping some strands in his hand before he tugs. It’s a firm tug and you let out an involuntary moan. He has you immobilized, locked against the wall, and you are completely in his grip. 

“Fuck,” You grit out, staring up at him from under your eyelashes. “Please,” The word comes out before you can stop it. You’re desperate for him, your entire body is buzzing with need.  

The shower is full of steam now, the air thick, and you have to crane your neck back to meet Jin’s gaze. You’re trembling in arousal, the heavy weight of his hand in your hair, and that arousal only heightens when you see the look in Jin’s eyes. The easy confidence is still there, he looks pleased with himself, cocky as ever. And it turns you on so much you can hardly stand it.

“I told you,” Jin says in a low, teasing voice. “I’m good.”

“You haven’t even touched me yet, stop thinking so highly of yourself.” You pant out in retaliation, Jin growls, and you let out a gasp, enjoying the way Jin tightens his grip on your hair. 

He lets go, his hand curls around the base of your neck near your jawline, his fingers gripping your chin. He stares directly into your eyes and you can’t help the small moan that rips from your throat. His smirk grows at the sound.

“You’re so needy,” He observes with a cock of his head. “In such a rush.”

Before you can respond, he slips a hand between your thighs and brushes a finger against your clit. 

You hiss in for breath, his fingertips are damp from the steam in the shower and his hand is still keeping your face forward, locked on his. His touch lasts only a moment on your soaking wet, needy slit, and you feel a spike of desperation when he pulls away. 

You’re faintly aware of how your breath is becoming erratic, and that the more out of control you get, the more Jin’s smirk grows. The thought occurs to you that Jin is right… he is good. You don’t know how but he seems to read your body and touch you in spots that have you practically mewling out his name.

“Please Jin,” You beg. Your pride is starting to give way to your neediness for his touch and frankly, you couldn’t care less.

His eyes flash and his fingers dart against your pussy again, this you can’t help but tip your head back against the tile and let out a cry. Jin lets out a little groan and you feel his fingers push inside of you. He slips his long slender finger inside of you, working up into your wet walls and arching.

Fuck, when he crooks his finger your entire lower back stiffens and your eyes widen. You let out a choked breath, Jin’s eyes are on you the whole time, his dark eyes hypnotic and amused as he slides another finger in. 

The second one he slips in slowly, teasingly, before the full length of his fingers are inside of you.

He makes slow, agonizing thrusts inside of you and you’re filled to the brim with lust. It feels like you’re spinning, the air in the shower is thick with steam and the water is still running behind you, but all you can concentrate on is Jin fucking you out with his fingers.

“Oh my God,” You whimper and Jin’s eyes flash in satisfaction, as he slowly pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his full lips. You watch as he sucks both fingers clean, his eyes locked on you, catching the way your mouth falls open. Fuck, he’s dirty, but he’s good, so damn good. 

“You taste pretty good.” Jin says in an offhand way and with a shrug of his broad shoulders, and you’re filled with a flash of annoyance. 

“Asshole,” You mutter and the irritation you feel fuels your arousal, your lips finding his in a frenzied kiss.

Jin’s lips are full and his tongue darts into your mouth with a dominance that you’re not used to. His kisses are rushed and intense in a way that has your whole body keening into him. 

He’s so good at this. It’s the one thought that slips through your hazy state at arousal. Perhaps too good at this. Jin doesn’t just kiss- his hands are roaming over your body, his fingers massaging at a sensitive spot on your inner thigh and making you moan. 

You’re barely aware of what you’re doing in response to his touches. While everything he is doing is full of intent and purpose, your hands are fluttering in his hair, roaming down his back, cupping his ass in your hands. 

You’re a mess, and at one point you stagger under the streaming water of the showerhead. The water pours over you and makes you gasp, before he pulls you back out of the stream, your wet skin gliding against his.

“Fuck,” You mumble in between his kisses. “You have a great ass.”

He just smirks. “I know.” 

He reaches down and grabs your ass, smacking one of your cheeks playfully. “You have a great ass too.” He murmurs sweetly, and before you can say anything he’s captured your lips in another hungry kiss. 

You respond eagerly, and he’s pulling you by your waist, you’re following. He sits down on the ledge in your shower with his legs apart and pulls you down on top of him. Immediately you oblige, swinging your legs into a straddling position. 

His cock is hard, you glance down at it and swallow, he’s bigger than what you’re used to. He has a nice cock too, straight, long, and thick. You wonder if it will be able to even fit inside of you. Judging by the smirk on Jin’s face, he can read the brief uncertainty that crosses over your face from taking in his size.

You take his length in your hands, wrapping your fingers around his shaft and enjoying the way his Adams apple bobs in his throat from your touch. Carefully, you pump your hand up and down his cock, your eyes flickering up to catch the way his tongue darts out over his lips. 

His lips are unfairly pillowy, you think to yourself, so full, like a pornstar’s lips. And with that thought, you’re suddenly struck with inspiration. 

You push yourself off of him, bending down so that you’re on your knees. Jin’s eyes widen a little before he smiles, stretching his arms out and interlacing his palms behind his head.

The shower floor is hard and painful on your knees, but it just turns you on more. This whole encounter is turning you on like crazy, you on your knees in your shower with a guy you met at a bar. A guy unlike anyone you would normally ever go for. 

With that thought in mind, you run your palms along his thighs and glance up at him. Seokjin’s lips are parted slightly and he cranes his neck forward, you can see the arousal written all over his face as his gaze trails over your waist, taking in the way your feet are tucked under your ass. 

You continue working his cock with your hand and slowly bend forward, keeping your eyes on him. 

“Tease,” Jin groans out. You can see it on his face- utter anticipation, and seeing the oh-so cocky Jin waiting impatiently for you to put your lips around his cock floods you with heat.

You run your tongue slowly down his shaft, toying with him before you dart the your tongue over his tip. His legs tense under your palms and he lets out a barely decipherable grunt of approval. You smile to yourself before you swirl your tongue over his tip again. Jin lets out an even louder groan.

“Stop teasing,” He mutters, but you ignore him, enjoying the loss of control on his face as he clenches his jaw. 

Finally, you take his cock into your mouth. You take a moment to adjust, to wetten his dick with your mouth, before you slowly take him in deeper. Jin moans and you see his fingers clench at the bench. 

His hands hover forward and entangle in your hair. You take him in until his cock hits the back of your throat. Jin is moaning louder, your eyes spring with tears but you’re so turned on by the noises. He’s vocal, surprisingly vocal- he’s letting out dark growls and moans, as you start fucking him with your mouth.

“God I never would’ve thought that you’d be this good with your mouth,” Jin sighs out and his words have your chest swelling with an odd sense of pride.

“You look so hot, your pretty mouth around my cock… fuck, how do you, oh Jesus, how do you do that?” His voice is strained as you take him even deeper, ignoring the will to gag. You lift your eyes to see his face, contorted in pleasure.

You hum against his dick, his full length in your mouth and your throat. His eyes open and he glances down at you and you give a tiny nod. A smile dissolves over Jin’s face before lifts his hips up with his palms against the bench, and begins to carefully thrust into you. 

“God, you’re deepthroating me like a fucking slut, it’s so fucking hot!” Jin groans as he bucks his hips, your eyes fill with tears. 

You take each thrust, his moans filling the air, before he pulls out of your mouth, hoisting you up. Before you can say anything he’s pulling you on top of him, his fingers grabbing at your thighs and pulling them around his waist so that you’re straddling him again.

“I want to fuck your brains out, princess,” He tells you in a husky voice. “Have you got a…?” He raises and eyebrow and you nod. 

“One sec,” You stammer out and you hop off him, the bottoms of your feet leaving wet footprints on your bathroom floor as you yank open one of your drawers and rip open a condom. 

Jin grins as you return, rolling the condom onto his length. 

“C’mere,” He murmurs when you’re done, pulling you firmly on top of him. His fingers are finding their way between your legs, he’s not slow and teasing like before but desperate. His fingers work against your clit and you let out a loud whimper. He looks so good- his damp hair is pushed off his forehead, lips are full and red from him biting them while you were fucking him with your mouth.

“You’re already so wet for me aren’t you?” He mutters. “God, you’re so hot… my lucky day.” He smirks at you and you feel his cock twitch between your legs. He pulls his fingers out of you and gazes at you, you answer his unspoken question as you wrap your fingers around his cock.

You lift your hips and ease yourself onto him. You’re careful, knowing that he’s thicker and bigger than what you’re used to, but you’re so wet and so aching for him that you sink down around him easily. 

The feeling of him stretching you out is immense and overwhelming, your eyes roll back and you let out a choked cry. 

“Fuuuuuuck. Your pussy feels even better than your mouth,” Jin half laughs, his fingers gripping around your hips. 

As you adjust, you feel satisfaction and relief wash over you. You have been craving this from the moment he slammed you against the shower wall. You begin rocking against him, his fingers curve around from your hip to your ass.

He cups your ass and squeezes you. He’s leaned back against the wall of the shower, and you tip your head back. There’s something about Seokjin, you’ve realized- perhaps the way his eyes rake over yours hungrily while you ride him. Or maybe it’s the cocky smirk that seems to always be on his lips. Whatever it is, it drives you God damn crazy. 

“You sure can take my dick well,” He murmurs into your mouth right before he kisses you, another wet hungry kiss. He keeps his hands on your ass, guiding your motions as you rock into him deeper, harder. 

You’re reaching your climax, it feels like you’ve been on edge ever since the water started running in the shower, and seeing Jin like this- swallowing heavily, his jaw clenching, it’s almost enough to take you to the edge. It’s the shower too, you think, the thick steam and the sound of the water running behind you as you sit on his cock.

“I’m going to cum soon,” You hiss and Jin reaches up with one hand and grips your hair again. 

“You have nice hair,” He comments, completely ignoring you. His voice is strained with lust. “Next time I’m going to fuck you from behind, like this.” His other hand flutters up and he tugs firmly on your hair with both hands, and the burn on your scalp has you moaning out. 

“Next time?” You pant out and Jin nods, his jaw clenching. 

“Yes. I’m going to have you on your pretty stomach with your ass in the air. And then I’m going to cum all over your back.” He says his words with his usual confidence and it pushes you over the edge. 

“Fuck!” You collapse forward slightly and your eyes squeeze shut as you feel your orgasm sweep over you in shuddery, desperate waves. 

Seokjin doesn’t stop- he just lets go of your hair and rests his palms flat on the bench beside him so he can tilt his hips up. He keeps fucking into you. 

Your palms fall forward on his chest to support yourself, and your orgasm has already started to ebb away, it was intense and quick. But the feeling of him still fucking into you, harder, has your walls clenching again. 

Seokjin thrusts up into you with rapid, sloppy, desperate movements, and you let out a cry as your second orgasm chases the first. 

The second is more languid, a slow, intense one that seems to grip around you like a vice. The tension drains out of your body and you moan out his name incoherently, it feels like your entire core is about to melt in bliss. 

Jin lets go and wraps his palms around your lower back to support you, your body is weak, your fingernails digging into his chest.

“Fuck,” He mutters at the feeling of your walls tightening around him, and he lets out a guttural grunt, pressing his face against your chest as he moans out against your skin. 

His orgasm is akin to your first, desperate and frenzied, his body shakes under yours. Jin moans out your name and the sound of hearing him cum like that, so vocally, has you shivering in pleasure.

You stay there for a moment, his forehead pressed against your chest before he moves, leaning his head back against the shower wall. 

The only sound is the water still hitting the shower floor. 

Your whole body is numb, euphoric.

“That was…” Jin’s voice trails off and his eyes meet yours, and you know what he’s thinking. Insane. 

Carefully, you ease yourself off of his dick and wince. You’re going to be sore tomorrow, you think. 

Seokjin is still leaned back against the wall watching you, a lazy, slow smile spreading over his face. 

You sway a little as you stand up, you hover for a moment as the throb in your body slowly starts to fade. 

Finally, you step into the stream of water, letting it wash away the sweat and his cum. You stand there for a moment before you grab your shampoo from where it sits on the floor, squeezing a small amount into your palm and massaging it into your scalp.

After a beat Jin stands up and his thighs tremble, he leans against the wall for support.  He takes the condom off of his length and opens the shower door, tossing it into the bin before stepping back under the water. 

“Pass the shampoo,” He says, holding out his hand and you turn, nodding mutely and passing him the bottle. You quickly rinse the shampoo from your hair, suddenly feeling uncertain. Jin doesn’t notice, he’s too busy showering beside you and his eyes are still closed. 

You figure he’s in post-orgasm bliss like you are. Gingerly, you step out of the shower, grabbing a fresh towel and wrapping it around you.

“Thank you,” Jin says suddenly, you glance at him. He’s smirking at you, and you admit to yourself that he looks good. The curve of his back, his tight ass, his wet hair. 

“You too,” You respond honestly. “It’s late, you can stay here tonight if you want, there’s a blanket on the couch.” You say lightly.

“Cool, thanks.” He responds and you nod, turning and letting yourself out of the bathroom.

Once you’re out of the steam filled room, the cool fresh air hitting you, you lean against the wall. 

You’re surprised at the feeling in your chest. You had a great, no, a spectacular fuck, and you feel no lingering attachment after. 

You feel nothing but euphoria from your orgasm. 

No feelings, no doubts, just a warm, satisfied ache throughout your body.

You wake up feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks. 

You let out a yawn, your body curling in a lazy stretch. You smile when you realize you can feel the afterglow from your two consecutive orgasms still simmering in the pit of your stomach, and you allow yourself a moment to bask in that feeling. 

Finally, you force yourself out of bed. It isn’t that it hits you exactly how tired your body is – your thighs are sore, your core is aching, your head a little woozy. Still, your mind flashes back to how good it felt to have Seokjin’s hips slamming into you, and a flutter stirs in your belly.

Wincing a little, you get up and head to the bathroom, wriggling into an old tee.

Your cat Kale meows a hello at you as you shuffle down your hallway, and you pause to bend down and give him a cuddle.

“I got laid last night,” You tell your cat in a serious voice. He just stares up at you and then meows loudly, like he’s cheering you on. You laugh. 

Your house is silent, that nice calm that only the weekend can bring. You haven’t felt this relaxed in weeks. In fact, most weekends you can’t even sleep in properly, feeling too highly strung to sleep past 8am. But this morning… your eyes flicker to the clock hanging in your hallway and a tiny, giddy smile settles on your lips. It’s 11AM. 

You push open your bathroom door, still smiling. 

“Oh my GOD!” 

The exclamation spills out of your mouth when you spot Seokjin standing at your sink. He’s shirtless, dressed in just his tight black Calvin Klein briefs, rummaging through your drawer with a determined look on his face.

“You’re still here?” You ask in disbelief. “Are you going through my skincare? What the hell?” 

Seokjin glances up when he hears the commotion, not at all fazed.

“Yeah, do you have any facial cleanser? A better brand than this, preferably.” He gazes down in distaste at your drugstore brand cleanser. You’re momentarily shocked before you walk towards him, snatching the cleanser out of his hand.

“Not for you I don’t!” You snap, and Seokjin shrugs, unbothered. 

“Whatever. I’ll just cleanse at home then.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Speaking of home,” You begin, putting your cleanser back in its place. “When are you going to you know, go home? It’s nearly midday!”

Jin stares at you, his face serious. “What are you talking about?” he says. “This is my home now.”

Your jaw drops and Jin bursts out into a loud laugh- that same windshield wiper laugh that you first heard in the bar.  

“You should’ve seen your face,” He sighs, pleased with himself before he returns his attention back to your skincare drawer, rifling through it.

“Stop! Going through my skincare,” You mutter, closing the drawer shut. “And you’re not funny, not even in the slightest.”

“Please,” Jin sniffs. “I’m hilarious.”

You give him a withering stare. “Quite the contrary,” You mutter. “You’re disgusting.” You eye him up and down critically, irritated that even after waking up he looks this good. He’s practically naked in your bathroom, his hair a ruffled mess from his sleep, a pillow crease marring one cheek, but he still manages to look good. It’s unfair.

Jin just shoots you an angelic smile. “You didn’t seem to find me quite so disgusting when I was fucking you right there last night.” He nods over at your shower and smirks triumphantly at the pink flush that spreads across your cheeks.

“Yeah well you didn’t seem like such a know it all hotshot when I had your dick in my mouth.”

Jin just smirks, you seethe. 

“Yeah you were pretty good with that actually. It’s nice to meet a woman who can handle all of this.” He nods down at his package.

“Did you just refer to your dick as ‘all of this’?” You ask scathingly, scrunching your nose in distaste. Jin just shrugs nonchalantly and you roll your eyes. 

Kale wanders into the bathroom, winding around Seokjin’s legs, meowing loudly. 

“Kale likes you,” You comment in surprise. Seokjin glances up, smirking. “What can I say, I attract all kinds of puss-”

“Do not even think about finishing that sentence.” You interrupt, shooting Jin a withering stare. Kale meows again, rubbing his head against Jin’s calf affectionately.

“Why am I not surprised that you’re a cat person,” Jin mutters. “Dogs are much superior to cats. My dog Adam can-”

“Wait,” You cut him off. “You named your dog Adam?”

Jin just folds his arms stubbornly. “Yes. He’s British.” 

You stare at him in disbelief before you laugh. “That’s such a weird name for a dog.”

Jin’s jaw drops, an offended look flashing across his face.

“How can you make fun of my dog’s name when you named your cat after the worst vegetable ever?”

You open your mouth to retort when you suddenly realize how close you’re standing to him. The tension is crackling off your body in waves, and before you can help yourself, your eyes fall on his lips. 

A long, heavy beat hangs between the two of you, and you realize that your entire body is humming in anticipation. Kale is still sitting by Jin’s legs. The bizarreness of the situation has you suddenly suppressing a giggle.

“… So do you wanna go for round two-”

“NO!” You yell stubbornly, whirling around. “Get out, I need to use the bathroom, and for God’s sake put on some clothes!” 

You shove him out of the bathroom and turn to face your reflection, letting out a sigh. 

The last thing you expected was for him to actually stick around.

After you’re finished in the bathroom, you walk outside only to see a fully dressed Jin waiting for you.

“Look,” Jin says hastily, stepping towards you. “I was thinking last night. We were good.” He says the words with a completely serious expression. “Really good. Like, I’m probably gonna get off to the thought of you over the next few days good.” 

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Ew.”

“Seriously,” Jin continues. “I have needs. I get horny. And to be completely honest with you, not a lot of girls know how to handle me and my cock.”

You glare at him. “You are so full of yourself.”

Jin shrugs. “It’s true. I mean, that was the best blowjob of my life,” He grins at you. “And honestly? I wanted you from the second I saw you last night. You looked damn good,” His voice lowers into a murmur, his eyes intent on yours. You feel your resolve tremble. “And you are damn good.” 

A little tingle of pride eases its way up your spine from his words, causing your ego to flare. You attempt to suppress it, giving Seokjin a hard look.  

“Your point is?” 

“I was thinking… we should make this a thing. We can sleep with each other if we’re in need of a good fuck. We don’t have to call each other, we don’t even have to pretend that we care about each other… we’ll just you know. Help each other out when we need it.” He grins. You just raise an eyebrow at him. 

“What, friends with benefits?”

Jin just gives you a dry look. “That requires us to be friends, and…”

“No chance I’d ever be friends with someone like you.” You finish bluntly. Jin nods. “And vice versa.”

You stare at him suspiciously, biting your lip. “You’re serious,” You say slowly. “We call each other up when we need sex. Just sex… and…” 

“No obligations. It doesn’t even have to be regular if you don’t want it to be. Fuck buddies. Minus the buddies. I mean… it was good. Right?” He leans in a little closer and you breathe in sharply. Your mind flashes back to him, how it felt to have his hands and his mouth on your lips, on your skin. Your eyes fall on his full lips, the sincerity in his eyes… and you can’t help but wonder what that handsome face would look like between your thighs. 

“Yep,” You admit, swallowing. Jin’s face stretches out into a smile, his gaze unwavering.

“Okay,” You mutter, grabbing his wrist. “C’mere.” You drag him to your kitchen, ignoring Jin’s yelps of protest. You stop in front of your kitchen bench, grabbing the notepad and pen you keep there. Jin’s rubbing his wrist and muttering to himself but you ignore him, scribbling on the yellow lined paper.

“Alright.” You say, shoving the notepad at him and propping your hands on your hips. “Read that.”

Jin raises an eyebrow. “What’s this?” He glances down at the paper. “Hereby is the contract for Kim Seokjin and Y/N.” He recites, pausing. 

“That’s your last name?” His nose wrinkles. “It’s weird.”

Your jaw drops. “Weird – it’s a name!”

Jin shrugs. “It’s weird.” 

You force yourself to calm down and you sigh. “That is not the point. Keep reading it.”

Jin shrugs and continues. “…Jin and Y/N will have a purely physically relationship. They will not get involved with one another beyond the act of sex. They have no obligations to one another and can withdraw from the agreement at any given time.” He glances up and looks at you with disbelief. “Did you make a fuck buddy contract? Are you serious?”

You nod. “Yep. Keep reading.”

He sighs and continues.

“They can sleep with other people and do what they want. Protection is to be used at all times. No cuddling, no pet names, no dates, just sex. Y/N did you really write this whole thing in third person-” 

“Yes! That is not the point!”

“God, you are such a lawyer. Can I add a bit of my own?” 

You shrug, and he grabs the pen, scribbling something on the bottom of the pad.

“Okay…” You nibble your lip as you read what he’s written. “God you have messy handwriting… ‘no texting, no calling’.” You look up at him questioningly.

“I hate all that stuff,” He explains with a shrug. “How’s your day been? All that shit. No thank you. No texts, no calls. Unless they’re of the booty call variety.”

You think it over and nod. 

“No texting or calling sounds good to me. In fact, let’s just minimize the contact as much as possible. If we want to have sex, we should send each other like one word, and it’s either a thumbs up or thumbs down response. That’s it.”

“What, like an emoji as a code for a booty call?”

You shrug. “Yeah, whatever.”

Jin nods slowly, his eyebrows creased in thought before he grabs at the paper again, writing something. You glance over his shoulder.

“No texting, no calling. Except for texting the eggplant emoji, which will mean, do you want to bang- Oh my god!” You glare at Jin. “You’re. So. Gross.”

“The eggplant makes sense, I mean…” Jin glances down at his crotch and you make an impatient noise and grab the notepad.

“Okay, okay, whatever. Let’s move on. Eggplant emoji it is. Does this sound good to you?” You wave the paper in the air and he nods. 

“Well I mean it all sounds good to me.” Jin says confidently, snatching the paper and signing it. 

He passes it back to you.

“Your move.” 

You’re a little taken aback, a small part of you you hadn’t really expected him to go ahead and sign it. 

You stare at him for a beat, wondering if you can really go through with this. Have an arrangement like this with a guy like him. 

But then again, what else have you got to lose? It’s so easy- the promise of sending one emoji and getting laid, easy as that. You still have freedom, and he has his. No feelings, no risk of getting burned by a guy. No secondguessing all his words and actions, no getting hurt by aforementioned words and actions.

Just lots of nights like yesterday’s- great sex, a deep sleep, and absolutely no emotions.

You glance at Jin uncertainly. 

It’s not like you could ever fall for him. You don’t even like him. 

And so, you put pen to paper, signing your name with a flourish. You whirl around and whack the makeshift contract on your fridge, pinning it in place with a magnet. 

Jin’s watching you, a mildly amused expression on his face.

“Done.” You say, turning and outstretching your hand confidently.

Jin gives you that familiar, easy smirk, before he grips your hand.

“Done.”

A/N: pls anticipate more Kale in future chapters

[glitchinthesystemspiderbyte]

[49] Glitch in the System - Fight Club

By E.

Dirty fighting happens.

“It is time to go,” Widow said, hands on her hips as she stood in Sombra’s doorway with an impatient look edging her features. She was dressed to kill - literally - in loose sweats and carrying a bag of sparring pads over her shoulder. Somehow she managed to make pre-workout look good. She made everything look good.

It was a trap and Sombra knew it.

“Busy now,” she replied, resolutely not looking back at her. She was sitting at her desk for once viewing something on her screen, its importance questionable, but she’d have read through a binary translation of one of Widow’s old French tomes if it made her look too busy for sparring. “Maybe next time.”

“You cannot continue skipping training,” Widowmaker sighed, dropping the bag at her side. It hit with a louder thump than usual, and Sombra wondered if today was training with weapons or if the woman was just extra vexed at her refusal. “When is the last time you went?”

Sombra shrugged, making a show of thinking about it. Three months ago. “Last month?” she said instead.

“Non, not as I recall. And anyway,” Widow continued, lips pursed in disapproval, “more is better than less. It is important we stay sharp.”

“I’m not an assassin, cielito,” Sombra replied dramatically, swinging around on her chair so she was looking through her hard light screen at the other woman. The light distorted her face, and she wiggled around until Widowmaker’s eyes were side by side and her nose had disappeared in the refraction. She grinned stupidly, her expression wicking away every ounce of professionalism in her words. “I’m an information analyst.”

“An information analyst who carries a gun and has a body count,” was Widow’s unphased, stern response, which Sombra had a hard time taking seriously while the sniper had no nose.

“Part of the job,” Sombra replied offhandedly. “Sometimes you look at computers - doesn’t mean you need to practice hacking them.”

“The instances in which I need to ‘look at computers’ are far fewer than the times in which you need to engage in acts of violence.” Widow wasn’t budging on the topic. Sombra wasn’t surprised. She shifted her screens so Widow’s nose returned, but her left ear vanished and her forehead was inhumanly pointy.

“That’s why I keep you around,” she said, smiling sweetly through the flickering purple screen. “Get you to do my dirty work.”

“Your dirty work,” Widow repeated, the note of incredulity in her voice enhanced by the arch of her left brow. “I have seen you pistol-whip a man and shoot him point blank in the head.”

“Heat of the moment,” Sombra shrugged dismissively. “Besides, that’s hardly hand to hand combat. I’m an opportunist. I make opportunities and exploit them.”

“You cannot define a word using the word itself.”

“Watch me.”

Widowmaker rubbed the bridge of her nose, eyes closed as she outwardly battled a deep vexation. “Regardless, you wouldn’t need to create opportunity if you would go to sparring like you are supposed to.”

“Maybe,” Sombra shrugged, leaning back in a resolute picture of stubbornness. “But where’s the fun in that?”

Widowmaker had no immediate rejoinder, her golden eyes fixed firmly on Sombra’s own. Sombra could almost see the complex machine that was her brain cranking furiously, and watched as she creased her eyebrows thoughtfully. “Does Gabriel know you have been skipping training?” she asked finally, her voice far more flippant than the inherent threat heavy in the words themselves.

Sombra shifted her screens to the side so she could look at her clearly. “Maybe.”

“Sombra.”

“I make sure my time is logged,” she said evasively, quickly trying to calculate her intent.

Widowmaker nodded slowly and looked down at her wrist. “Well, we have lost ten minutes already. Perhaps we can forego training today, and review past training videos,” she said, eyebrow raised threateningly. “Perhaps I can ask Gabriel to recall them so you can study your technique?”

Sombra watched as she punched in the first three numbers of Gabriel’s personal comms number, looking up pointedly as she did. “You wouldn’t,” Sombra said under her breath.

“Ah, but I would, mon coeur.”

“No mames,” Sombra swore, swiping her console away in a shower of angry sparks. “You’re terrible.”

“Oui. It is as they say,” she said, smiling just enough to irritate Sombra further, “‘tough love.’”

Sombra groaned. “Let me get dressed.”

“See you downstairs in ten,” Widow replied sweetly, and Sombra watched her walk away with a sway to her hips that only accented the air of victory she’d left in her wake.

“Oof,” Sombra exhaled as Widow punched her for the fifth time in the stomach. The first two she’d chalked up to being rusty; the rest she had to admit were just because she was terrible at close combat. “Stop that.”

“The pain is your teacher. Block and you will be fine.” Widow sidestepped backwards with the grace of a dancer, her extensive background in ballet showing in her footwork and agility. Sombra was pretty sure there wasn’t punching in ballet, but clearly it was a skill Widowmaker had no problem picking up in more recent years.

“I can’t block if you keep hitting me,” Sombra answered sourly. Even so, she made a good faith effort at protecting herself from Widow’s next blow. Miraculously, it seemed to work, for that and the next, and the next after that. For a moment, Sombra felt the familiar light of success ignite inside her, and she felt good.

At least until Widow’s next blow was a fake to her left that landed square in her jaw.

“Ya valió madres,” she cursed, nearly spinning around from the hit. Their sparring gear helped prevent injuries, but it did little to soften the impact of a well-placed fist. “Can we be done yet?”

Widowmaker stood back, hands behind her back. She hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. “It has been five minutes, Sombra,” she replied, her unnatural patience even more maddening than usual. “It is unlike you to admit defeat.”

“I’m not admitting shit,” she replied, narrowing her eyes. “I’m out of my element. It’s not fair.”

“What was it you said?” Widow asked, canting her head in a maddening display of cool superiority. “‘Where’s the fun in playing fair?’”

“Low blow, spider, spitting my own taunts back at me like that.”

“Allow me to aim a bit higher this time.” In a move Sombra only barely saw coming, Widow faked her yet again, hooking an ankle behind Sombra’s and flipping the smaller woman forward over her leg. She grabbed her collar before she hit the ground, saving her from an uncomfortable fall onto the padded floor.

“For fuck’s sake Widow,” she choked, and Widow hauled her back to her feet. “You can’t even let me take my punishment properly.”

“A deviation from the norm,” she replied demurely, and Sombra blushed.

“This is why I forge my attendance records.”

“And perhaps evidence as to why you should not.” Widowmaker placed her hands by her sides and stood tauntingly close to Sombra. “Shall we start with the basics?”

“I know a trap when I see one, araña,” she said, narrowing her eyes at the obvious bait and taking an involuntary step back. Widowmaker fell into a combat stance and hooked with her right, landing a glancing blow on Sombra’s shoulder.

“Did you not get into fights in Dorado?” Widow asked, sounding genuinely curious, but utterly unable to shelve the self-satisfied smirk reaching across her face as she levied another hit towards Sombra’s cheek.

“Plenty of them,” Sobra said, dodging at the last minute.

“And you came away with nothing from this,” Widow asked. She was trying to goad her into attacking, assailing her with a barrage of lazy, easy hits to push Sombra into making a careless move. It was a good tactic, all told; Sombra was certainly eager to smack her after she’d effortlessly wiped the floor with her for the past several.

“Not entirely,” she grumbled. “Just nothing like this weird battle dancing you do.” To be fair, Sombra had ample experience in the art of hand to hand combat. She’d learned in real time, on the streets, as a gut reaction to situations in which her livelihood or her life had been in danger. While Widow’s combat expertise had been born of trained agility and precision, Sombra’s had been the result of survival and getting along by the skin of her teeth.

Now that she thought about it, arms raw from hits she hadn’t been fast enough to counter, she realized she might have an advantage in this skirmish after all.

“Battle dancing,” Widowmaker smiled, moving like liquid as she watched Sombra deep in thought. “A fitting term.”

Sombra smirked in response, and changed her perception from the sparring ring to a cluttered alley, and Widow was no longer a frustrating challenge but a rival gang member with a shiv and a grudge.

Sombra looked around as Widow bobbed and weaved before her, taking pot shots at the sniper with no real intention of hitting her so much as moving her into an advantageous position.

“Apagando las luces,” she whispered, the old phrase bringing back a slew of memories as she used it not to destroy a mechanical neural network but bring her shoulder down as Widow swung for her head that was no longer where it should be. The sniper faltered, a look of shock crossing her face, and Sombra rushed forward to bridge the gap.

Her shoulder hit Widow in the stomach, knocking the wind audibly out of her as she slammed her body into the taller woman’s solar plexus, sending her backwards over a pile of blue mats at the edge of the sparring ring. Widowmaker had no chance to recover, toppling backwards without an ounce of grace in a heap that Sombra couldn’t help but laugh at as she tumbled right along after her.

“Gotcha,” she said, landing gracelessly on top of her. She could almost ignore the throbbing pain in both her arms and stomach in the face of her sudden, unexpected victory.

Widowmaker looked up from where she lay, flopped over the pile of stacked mats, splayed on the floor with the other woman sprawled on top of her. “That was terrible form,” she said, making no move to get up as Sombra rested her elbows alongside Widow’s head.

“Well it wasn’t your fancy fucking jiu-jitsu, but I still won the fight,” Sombra replied.

“Through deception.”

“Through savvy,” she replied, shaking her head and bringing her face closer. “You were right.”

Sombra could feel Widowmaker’s hands creeping up her back. “I was?” she asked, voice shifting from reluctance to a soft purr.

“Yeah,” Sombra said, pressed against the length of her. “I do know how to fight.”

“You certainly know how to brawl,” Widow agreed against her ear, lips brushing along her neck. “With zero finesse.”

“Whatever,” Sombra grinned, pulling back just out of reach, unwilling to give up her victory so soon. “You’re just sour you lost.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.” Sombra laughed and allowed Widow to hold her in place as she pressed her hands to either side of her face and gifted her with a deep kiss.

“This is different than how we sparred in Overwatch,” Gabriel’s voice announced, his voice rough and sudden, but nurturing enough amusement that Sombra didn’t bother standing right away.

“Not what I’ve heard,” she muttered to herself. Widowmaker smirked.

“Excuse me?” Gabriel said, and Sombra didn’t have to look back to see his eyebrow raised.

“Nothing, boss,” she replied, and pushed herself to her feet. “Just teaching Widow how to fight dirty.”

Gabriel grimaced and Widowmaker made a noise of deep discomfort. “I see,” he said, fighting to keep a smile from forming on the black wisps emanating from his lips. “Well perhaps you can continue this particular lesson elsewhere. I need the gym for some recruit drills.”

“Absolutely,” Sombra laughed, hauling Widowmaker up from the ground and pulling her towards the door.

“Oh, and Sombra?” Gabriel added as she trotted across the gym.

“What?” Sombra asked, immediately suspicious.

“You owe me three months of training. I expect to see you here again,” he said, not turning from where he stood, a scarred shadow with its arms held behind its back. Sombra knew without any question that the fucker was grinning like an idiot. “Double time until you catch up.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she sighed, pressing her fingers to her forehead.

“Is this a good time for an I told you so?” Widow asked, affecting innocence.

Sombra turned and walked away, leaving Widowmaker and her shit-eating grin to catch up later.

*Read from the beginning or check out our intro post! All stories tagged under #glitchfic. Table of contents located here.

[jigsisanalien]

weekend are now the worse...

today is weekday but this keeps happening, my mom just falls asleep with her tv on, with the volume really high, i dont know how shes able to fall asleep to that, but it gets highly annoying when its literally almost 4am. Im in a diferent floor and i can hear the whole thing, its really a chore to just go down the stairs to unplug it everynight.  Today i got home almost midnight i told her twice to turn it down, nope, i guess she clicked twice on the volume and left it as that, because i cant hear any difference.

But weekends literally became the worst. Her bf literally comes saturday at 11pm, yes, 11 fucking pm, what he does in life? I dont know, but coming to someones house at that hour is really unconsiderate. Then they go to the room or stay in the living room talking, not normally talking, talking like its 6pm and loud, the other night they did this until 1.30am, when she decided to come and take a shower, yes you heard that right. And he wont just shut up, he sounds like a scratched disk, i dont know what the fuck they all have to talk about every time and not even stopping (probably badmouthing other people as i heard, yeah i can hear all the convo).

Then they wake up at 10am and continue to do so, my mom even now gets up at that time and makes him breakfast and starts to do lunch for both of them, something she never done to us, her daughters, not even when we were younger. The only time they are shut up is during the afternoon and they close the door to do other things...but they also closed during the night, her door is rusty and makes a loud PUM sound anytime she opens, they kept going to the bathroom for 5 times during the night also.

Then after 11pm, most of the times its after midnight, the dude decides to go home, yes...you heard that right, im as wtf as anyone i tell this. And she goes back to her old ways of having the tv on loud.

She is a bit deaf, but refuses to wear the aids she spent a dime on it, but she also enjoys to live in chaos and make a bunch of noise wherever she touches or is around the house, she even has this uncomfortable sleepers that make a bunch of noise and she cant comprehend why the neighbor hates us, if its annoys me and im on the upper floor, i cannot imagine the person below. Ive heard her walking on the upper floor and it sounded like an elephant stomping. And the worst part is that she doesnt have hours, like she may be awake till is 3am, or get up at 4-5am, or stay in bed the whole afternoon and get up at 11pm just to “clean” stuff.

[rileyomalley]

Curiosity Kills (A JunkHop Fic)

Chapter 1 cont! Previous Entries: [x] [x] Word Count: 4228 Rating: General (theres just a bunch of BOOMS in this part) Pairings; Roadhog/Mako Rutledge x Junkrat/Jamison Fawkes x Overwatch OC

So as it stands, Hopper found herself in quite the situation. Despite how desperate she was to pull some stunt and escape mid ride, she couldn’t help but be focused on the pain in her wrist…and she hadn’t much experience with jumping out of high speed vehicles.

There was only one time…and it was not pretty.

So now she was faced with being an infamous duos captive, lord knows what that would entail. At the very least she found some relief knowing who they were now and how to potentially use that to her advantage later.

For now though…she was being stared at by the two of them. It wasn't long before they'd arrived at this supposed hideout and Hopper and been sat down for questioning. She idly looked between the two of them before speaking up.

“…you just gonna sit there or…” not that she wanted to question what plots they had in store for her, but Junkrat spoke promptly after.

He looked to be scheming…real hard as he looked her over.

“Since we got you now, we have a few questions and ground rules. Gotta make most of keeping you captive. Seemed reeaalll important considerin.” might be able to strike a deal with her as bait. A trade perhaps for loot or some nice upgraded tech.

There was a lot going on in that head of his, which only left that grin to curl all the more. An important agent, a spy of sorts, a tracker maybe? Whoever she was…she may be their ticket to all they need.

His companion on the other hand thought otherwise. His arms crossed before his chest looking over Hopper.

Small. Only potentially an issue in terms of fighting, more than anything he saw her as a liability. He wouldn’t admit out loud that he agreed there was potential there for their own gain, but last they needed was someone making their operations all the more difficult.

Junkrat did that enough on his own.

Before Hopper could say much else Junkrat pointed a prosthetic finger right in her face.

“Alright sheila, who you work for?”

Hopper pushed the finger out of her face.

“That is unfortunately classified. As much as I would love to tell you…I really cant.”

Roadhog gave a grunt. Junkrat furrowed his brow. “And why not? Could always get it out of ya by different means…”

“A waste of time…” Roadhog chimed in. Hopper just quirked a brow at the large man before shirking away at Junkrat close vicinity to her now.

“Ah..well I mean, I cant mostly because its potential breach of my contract. By doing so that leaves me with uh…the possibility of being stuck out on my own. No contact.”

Well better late than never to start lying about you and your employers. Maybe shed be able to get on their good side before finding a way to separate from them. Lie out your ass, girl.

Junkrat was still staring.

“…not only that there’s a hiiigh possibility that if they learn where I am, they’ll find you and it’ll be more if an issue than uh…a fruitful solution, yeah? So..”

The agent started to fiddle a bit. Why did he have to BE SO CLOSE? She almost felt claustrophobic.

Actually, it was legitimately making her nervous.

“SO UH – I guess it all depends what you're looking for?? I mean...” She cleared her throat. Don't lose your cool girl. Think of something.

Junkrat gave a hum, rubbing at his chin almost exaggeratedly looking Hopper up and down. The way he was looking at her did not make her any more comfortable. She leaned away as best she could until she nearly fell off that chair. “Look-I have to apologize. I've only been in so many of these situations with brilliant criminals like yourself and...well. I'm rusty. So...I guess what I'm getting at is-maybe we can come to some middle ground? You don't do anything to me, I don't do anything to you, and maybe I can put in a good word for you as...long lost colleagues? I mean...d-don't think I wasn't seeing you eyeing this tech.”

Okay. Seemed to be catching their attention. Or at least Junkrat's.

“I mean...sure I could have tried my best to get out of here once you guys gave me an inch but...I'd rather not go a mile into death and destruction, at least for a little while.” She tried to give her best grin, hopeful that they'd consider the offer. First chance if she saw it she could get out of this joint.

The Junkers sat, Junkrat tapping his peg leg and Roadhog just idly watching Hopper. It was one thing for Junkrat to be eyeing her as much as he did practically BORING holes into her skull, but...not being able to see the face behind Roadhog's mask, or even a semblance of eyes was...unnerving. He didn't speak up much either, and when he did it sounded like a stance of indifference.

Junkrat sat up in his seat. “Alright sheila, we'll be considering this deal. You're lucky you got what you do, otherwise we might not. Me and the hog will have to discuss it further. You got a pretty good way of wagerin' in all. Now...” The lanky fellow stood from his seat, pacing back and forth before stopping near his companion. “We got a set of ground rules you'll be followin' while we have you here.”

Roadhog sat forward resting on his forearm.

With a flourish of that prosthetic hand, Junkrat begun. “Rule numbah 1, you gotta behave and follow what we tell you. You will be taken care of here in our hideout but that doesn't give you full reign of everything.”

Roadhog raised a large finger. “Two, don't even think of escaping unless you want a death sentence.

“I've got all sorts of surprises around here, sheila!

So chipper about it, wasn't he....she just grimaced.

“Rule numbah three! While we have you here, you gotta make your way in helpin' us score some loot. Not getting off scott free just cuz yer captive here.” Wait...how? “-which is why we'll be putting your tech to good use on heists!!”

UM.

Even if they were running over any others cockamamie rules they had, Hopper was stuck in her mind thinking of what exactly they were planning on using her for. She was in more than what she thought. Hoo boy.

Hopper just took a deep breath. “Alright. Fair enough. As long as you're fine with giving space I can follow these rules.” As screwy as some may be to her, fair or not. Junkrat moved over with a quirky grin. “Good! Glad to have you aboard then! We'll be setting out in the next couple days. Got some good word about a rather rich place we can hit up next! Eehehehe~”

That laugh was going to be the end of her. God give her strength.

After everything was settled the whole group stood, Roadhog making his way off in one direction without a word, Junkrat doing the same until Hopper piped up. “Ah...not to ask too much but...you guys got a shower? All that travelin' out in the desert got me sweating like a mother.” She was to the point of waving out her pits. Junkrat perked looking over his shoulder at her.

“Oh sure. Just over there to the right, can't miss it. Will warn you though, don't take long. Last we need is ol big Hog mad cuz of low water reserves.”

Hopper just nodded watching as he made his way out. Must have been with the larger man for some time now. Probably got on his bad side more than once himself but...that was fair. Last she wanted was to be caught up in this and screw it up right off the bat. She would try to keep any thoughts on escaping to the back of her mind. For the time being she had to play captive and follow what they said no matter how ridiculous it might be. The only things she'd deny was them looking at her tech.

That was her own and she was going to fight tooth and nail for it.

One thing Hopper had to be thankful for was showers. It was one of the most relieving luxuries human kind had and she wasn't sure where she would be without them. Even when she had to bath under a waterfall, it still felt refreshing. A renewed sense of self washing away the days dirt and grime. Keeping it as short as she could running through that long, long hair of hers she finished up and made her way out. Her clothes were still a little sticky, but she had to deal since she didn't have any way of washing them immediately.

Donning her casual wear she made her way out, hair up in a towel and prosthetic legs hooked back on, she decided to wander a little through their hideout. At least to the main areas she felt were safer than say, a workshop or potential bedroom. Might as well familiarize herself 

Despite the messy look of this shabby shack, there was an odd bit of charm and a lived in feeling that could only fit those two men. It wasn't overly cluttered, but enough to show they'd really been around and had probably scavenged for a long while. She wondered how much making way to the kitchen to see what their food reserves were like.

Surprise surprise. Probably the worst judge in the world, it looked to be they'd done pretty good for themselves out here, considering the amount of canned foods, baking products and various snacks that lined the cupboards. Even the fridge looked to have plenty to drink with a good stock of water. She bit her lip—would it be too soon to play to her captor's stomachs? She wasn't particularly hungry herself, but a good gesture was always nice, albeit fishy looking depending who you ask.

Before she could consider reaching for a few items Hopper was halted by the sound of heavy footsteps making their way to the kitchen, the gentle jingle echoing through the air. She looked a might silly with the cupboards still open upon looking, yet her eyes looked straight to Roadhog.

Crap.

“What are you doing...?”

Hopper was thin lipped and wide eyed, moving to close the cupboards and step back a bit. It was ridiculous but she couldn't help in feeling like she was being stared at by a wild animal. Having to tred carefully both in her movements and next choice of words.

“Just looking mostly. Curious. Wasn't gonna take anything. Considered maybe making you guys something if you were hungry.” Her words were a little shaky, stepping out of the way when Roadhog moved over towards the counters. He gave her a silent look, a low rumble in his throat before looking through the cupboards himself. She kept her hands behind her back, idly watching him.

“...that is a way I can help around here. If you guys don't mind.”

“I usually cook. Don't let Junkrat near the kitchen.”

That was understandable on so many degrees. She shifted from small foot to small foot.

Roadhog looked to be pondering over that food, she wasn't sure if he was getting a snack or if he was starting up already.

“...do you need any help?”

“Go sit down, metal legs.” He muttered in a low tone. Hopper just sighed, not fighting it for now and moving over to the table to take a seat. “Alriiiight...you're call, big guy.” Roadhog just snorted in response. She wasn't gonna push it but hey, can't say she didn't try.

This however did leave her fidgety waiting patiently. She wasn't really sure if she could just get up and walk out for a moment before returning when it was done.

“Guess you got exiled from the kitchen too, eh?” Junkrat's voice called out making way to the kitchen. Hopper looked behind her chair and settled back when he came over.

“Seems like it. Offered to help but guessin' he's the head honcho in this regard?” Pointing a finger at Roadhog, Junkrat just snickered plopping down.

“He doesn't like anyone else fussin' about the kitchen, so he does all the cookin' himself. Barely let's me do anything even if I keep tellin' him otherwise.” Well duh, idiot. She knew why. She pretty much resonated with the large man in that regard as if that was the only wavelength the two of them had.

They both knew Junkrat was a hot mess.

“Last you need to do is make a mess of the kitchen, for all he knows you'll probably set anything aflame.” Junkrat just squinted at her with a small frown. The two of them went on like that for a while.

Roadhog grunted. “That's enough out of the two of you.” He'd throw you both out if he felt like it. He not only had one headache, but two to deal with .

Junkrat just shrugged in his chair before idling by, watching Hog move over with the food he'd been making all the while. He couldn't help but look at Hopper curiously, the woman as calm as ever. Most captives weren't like that...

“So how come you ain't scared about all this, eh? You get captured a lot before?” Hopper just rolled her eyes crossing her arms over her chest. She just shrugged.

“Either I'm desensitized enough by situations like this or my training actually did me some good. I know when and when not to do something stupid and I mean- sure if you guys really wanted to do something bad, you'd have done it by now?” Don't let her calm and cool attitude fool you – of COURSE she was scared. She was plenty nervous about the next few steps from here on out, and whether or not her disappearance would be picked up by her employers. It was all part of the job, unexpected. It didn't deter the scary aspects of it however.

A soft thank you came from her at the last disbursement of food receiving a 'hmm'. Everyone finally settled in to eat their food. Most of what kept her from doing the wrong things was being as observant as she was. The two settled right in on their meals, so of course she followed. She took it slow, poking at the strips of what looked to be steak and soft potatoes, melted butter dancing about the fluffy texture. There was a bowl of rolls but she'd be careful not to get too greedy.

She was more wary over Roadhog than Junkrat.

Dinner was fairly quiet, dishes being picked up and taken to the sink. Between the two men she piped up that she could take care of the load if they have business elsewhere. Surprisingly enough she at least got to do that without much hassle, as much as she had goddamn eyes at staring at her from just about everywhere it felt. Nonetheless, she was being cooperative, that's all that mattered.

Get on their good side.

Now was the matter of where exactly she was gonna be staying for the night. Seemed Junkrat saw the confusion on her face. “You'll be stayin' right there on the couch. S'not great but it'll do for now until we can get you set up with something better.”

Set up with something..better? Did you assume she was going to stay here for a vacation?? The expression on her face only made him laugh.

“Wot? We're not gonna throw you into some cage or nothin' like that! Least we can do while we keep you here. Can't have you bent out of shape.” It was surprising, she had to give him that. A nod in response thanking him, she looked over to the couch.

It obviously had seen better days...but if she was to compare it to anything worse, it was better than laying in that cave. She had a napsack she could fashion over it if need be. So far this wasn't too bad. Unexpected, a little weird, maybe awkward....but not bad.

She takes it back, it's actually worse.

By the time evening came Hopper hit the hay early uncertain of what she was going to face tomorrow. Better to bed early than to be thrust into madness at a moment's tired notice. Probably was going to happen anyway but hey, no harm in preparing for the worst.

The unfortunate circumstance however, was that no matter how she tried to rearrange that couch or her items, it was still uncomfortable as HELL. She found herself more kinked than she was last, tossing limbs here and there to the point she fell off the damn thing. Luckily it wasn't too loud or she'd probably be agitating the others in their room.

Sleep to no avail, Hopper sat up and looked around the low lit hideout. It was never easy for her to get to sleep easily. By the looks of it there wasn't any other potential spots she could try, unless she wanted to curl up in the sidecar of the motorcycle. That brought on worrisome thoughts so she pushed it from her mind. A loud huff she stood and popped the kinks out of her body. Looking around again she saw a top level window or...door? Maybe gazing up at the stars would help. ..

Making her way up their quietly, and carefully remembering what Junkrat had said about 'surprises', she looked out the glass windows at the night sky. She was able to see the moon just a ways up, bright as ever can be.

There was a pang in her chest suddenly, resting her forehead against the glass. She'd been cool up to this point, but Hopper couldn't deny that she was going to miss her own bed. Her safe place, seeing the faces of her coworkers and....she had to keep it together.

It wasn't long that she was up there before she returned to the couch and found before her was a slightly larger nest of her napsack, pillow, blanket and...pillows...and...more blankets?? That...was unexpected. She looked about to see if anyone else was awake, with no sign of either of the Junkers. She could only assume they heard her flopping, so they decided to help make it a bit better?

Either way Hopper was going to make use of this nest. She had a big day ahead of her, and after that was....

A heist.

The day prior seemed only a bit of preparation for the Junkers and Hopper and surprisingly they hadn't looked much into what Hopper had. Other than the obvious she mentioned she'd done a couple sneaking missions, intel search and may or may not have some skill into hacking. It wasn't her expertise but in the last resort she had to do so to prevent becoming swiss cheese in heavily armed locations.

Turrets were a fucking bitch.

The place they were heading to however by what Junkrat told Hopper, was a heavily barricaded and locked bank of sorts. Obviously not a local reserve, but apparently it was owned by some big wig who lived just some miles away in the desert lands. None she knew of since that wasn't part of her database, as far as she knew anyway – they had been hoarding quite a bit of their economy hidden out where most wouldn't dare to travel.

Most weren't as dangerous. Or stupid. Or a little mix of the two.

She wasn't entirely sure how this was going to go, but it seemed they wanted her to sneak in to give them the general parameters of the area. See about shutting down any security that she could to make it easier on them to get inside and get out fairly quickly. Hopper questioned why they didn't want to just take an abrupt and obviously explosive resort, to which Roadhog chimed in about subtly. As much as Junkrat ENJOYED making a scene, they actually needed to lay low. They also needed money.

In her mind she knew this was wrong of her to do, but in retrospect if this person was as potentially sleezy, high stakes and narcissistic...it couldn't be that bad of a job, right? Sure it wasn't what she was hired to do in her original line of work. She technically was freelance,-

Hopper are you seriously trying to rationalize this entire situation as okay? Girl has the sun melted your brain?

She just shook it off with a grimace, reassuring Junkrat that she was fine when he gave her a rather quizzical look. A couple hours passed...and she found herself in a situation that was quite a tricky one. She wasn't trained to sneak in and break in to places like this—but she had to keep up the cooperative facade until she could either relay a message to her employers, or escape.

Hell she even tried to do so in the middle of hacking a couple of the reserves' networks before being interrupted by the agitating australian's voice. Goddamn he didn't have to SPEAK SO LOUD. She was starting to regret making the suggestion of communicators. Hopper just sighed, making her way through

Everything had been going to plan with a few tricky moments, but Hopper seemed to be keeping up her end of the bargain. She'd get brownie points as far as the Junkers went and...admittedly she was learning a little more in terms of her skills. Who's to say she couldn't apply it to better things than, oh, you know, breaking and entering into someone's personal bank??

She really hoped this person was as bad as they were or else she'd feel a heaping helping of guilt right about now. There was unfortunately no time for that right now. Her eyes widening when she finished relaying her location to the Junkers, there was a faint humming coming from behind her. Her body tensed, eyes wide as she slowly turned around. Through her orange visor she saw a large quadrupedal robot, pointing it's red LED sensors right at her. It was warming up to shoot what she could only assume was going to be-

CRASH! A second longer and Hopper would have been vaporized, nothing but a splatter left on that metal ground. She was dashing and bouncing as quickly as she could, screaming as she tried to escape it's line of sight. Because of this she was coming over the communicator which alerted the Junkers to plan B.

Completely obliterate any entryways and head to the core!

This place once filled with silence and calm now was being utterly THRASHED by robots, guards, and Junkers alike. Bombs and explosions as far as the eye could see and hardly any survivors lest they ran for their lives with their tails between their legs. It wasn't a problem for either of the men, especially not Junkrat who seemed to have an endless supply of bombs and tricks. Roadhog was a master with knocking heads, tossing and snatching with that hook, cackling as he was causing just enough carnage.

It took some time but they finally made it to the core of the bank reserve where the commotion originate from and Junkrat began to call out to Hopper. She seemed nowhere in sight.

“Hoppah! HEY HOPPAH! WHERE YOU AT?!” Was she taken out? Damn, that would be a shame since she had done so well getting them this far...despite the sudden change of plans but hey, he couldn't complain when he got a hand in on it apart from breaking into the vault.

Once the two rounded the corner they saw the massive robot Hopper had been screaming about, the area around the vault completely and utterly messed up with laser lines, cracks in the ground from it's stomping weight...the two readied themselves to take it on and make way, sure the woman had been taken out. The robot screeched and rattled in a way that was agonizing to the ears, still together despite what shitty condition it looked to be in. That armor was pretty much on it's last limbs yet the thing kept on, targeting the Junkers and readying it's beams for a heavy fire.

Within a flash something came falling from the tall ceiling out of the shadows, a loud scream to follow.  Before Roadhog and Junkrat saw a fierce look in the eyes of the familiar tiny woman, now wielding rather LARGE robotic gauntlet that thrust themselves with a near erupting force, the sheer power flying off them as they made impact with the robot's head. Those red lights flickered frantically as it's entire body shuddered. That was the last blow it needed it would seem as the large robot nearly crumbled underneath her.

The Junkers, safe to say, were absolutely gobsmacked.

Hopper stood on the now defeated robot breathing heavily, covered with scuffs, cuts and her own bruises, brushing back her hair with a large gauntlet hand. She looked over at the Junkers with a wheezed attempt at a chuckle.

“...you guys gonna need help with the...the vault?”

[arc-17]

Ficlet snippet. Input needed

Okey folks specifically @hollyashton , @stephschoices and @misha726author , who I consider some of the most amazing writers out there and who’s work inspired me to join the fandom here. Had a question. Been working on a journal if you will for my MC Sienna in Endless Summer. Now at one point I did do as an excersise since my writing had gotten rusty, more of a story but heavily transcribed from the amazing talent at Pixelberry’s work. Basically just editing work I guess. Anyway, like your thoughts on all this and or should I stick with the journal? (To see the Journal so far check the #Endless Journal or #fanfiction tags on my writing blog @shadowrebel-17 ’s page)

Anyway, here is a snippet from one of my fav parts of the series. The plane ride. Especially when she meets Jake. Followed by the same scene, in Journal form. Please please compare and give me feedback! Sorry its kinda long.

…..

She works her way farther forward, leaning into the open doorway to the cockpit, thinking to her self about the trip so far. ‘Definitely a better way to fly then with an airline ‘

The pilot lay back in his seat, combat boots up on the panel, hands folded on his lap.

Sienna cleared her throat. “Excuse me, it’s Jake right?” weren’t we supposed to have landed by now…?”

Nothing…

“Wait?! You’re asleep!?” she says in shock.

“Hrn?” he jolts awake, then blinking he turns, shifting in his seat. Eyes meeting hers.

‘Ohmygod… he was in that dream too…’ she stares a moment lost in thought.

“Listen, Princess, don’tcha know its rude to wake someone who’s taking a nap?” he drawls out with a southern twang in slight annoyance.

“Princess?” she blinks.

“What can I say?” he smiles “I give nicknames to people who annoy me”

“In that case I’m calling you Aragorn” she retorts with a smirk.

He blinks. Startled by her quick comeback. “Aragorn? I… don’t know what you’re talking about.” He briefly runs a couple fingertips over the week old stubble on his face.

She nods, indicating his features and the unkempt surfer hair.

“You know, Lord of the Rings?”

“Never heard of it” he deadpans but the smile tugging at the edge of his mouth breaks the façade.

“you’re a bad liar…” she grins knowingly.

“…fine” he smiles. His opinion of her going up visibly.

“Call me Aragorn. I like it. That man was a bad-ass. Anyway relax, we ain’t landin’ ‘till—“ he turns back towards the control panel. Then pauses.

“The hell? That time ain’t right.. and that ain’t right either!” he says giving the instruments a few hard whacks.

Sienna’s grip on the doorframe tightens a little more. ‘Maybe I should have called him Han Solo…’

“You sure you know what you’re doing…?” she says glancing around the cockpit, suddenly feeling like she was in that ‘piece of junk’ as Luke Skywalker had called it.

“Princess if you knew half the things I’ve survived you’d bet on me to get you through anyth—“

Out of nowhere sudden severe turbulence shakes the plane, throwing Sienna against the cockpit wall hard. She winces, gasping in shock and pain as she attempts to get her footing back, hands gripping the co-pilot’s seat in a vice grip. Watching out the windscreen as the sky grows quickly black, the darkest storm clouds she’s ever seen rushing towards them.

“Aww that’s just great! that stormfront’s moving in quick!” Jake mutters, Jockeying the controls as he shuts the auto pilot down and resumes manual control, slowing the plane down just slightly as all the dials are swinging every which way. Alert tones sounding off and red lights flicking on.

“Get your ass in a seat, hear? And tell the others to buckle up!” he grits out.

“But….” She starts to say, a tremble in her voice.

“Now princess!” he barks with the air of command.

Her muscles respond almost on their own accord quickly taking her from cockpit and back to the main cabin, the close walls the only thing keeping her up as the plane rocks violently. Fellow passengers yelling amidst the chaos.

“Oh I am reaaally regretting that Airport Chipotle!” a big guy groans out. “Don’t puke bro! If you puke, I’m gonna puke!” the foot ball player next to him yelps.

“Where the hell this storm come from, it was a clear day!” another blond girl, growls angrily.

“It happens okay? This is totally normal!” Jake the pilot yells out of the cockpit to the others.

“Yyyeah sure… THAT looks normal!” another person points out the window.

Orange and yellow balls of electricity and lightning coalesce from the sky, exploding around them in bright showers of sparks and bolts.

Sienna’s eye’s go wide as she grips a seat near Sean and another girl.

“It looks like ball lightning…” says one of the students who had been quiet to this point, a very petite girl in an orange sweater says in a mixture of awe and fear. Adjusting her glasses as they tried to fall off “But I’ve never seen anything quite like this!”

“This is all wrong! I cant die here surrounded by these morons!” the pale Aleister wails, gripping his arm rests for dear life.

“Everyone just breathe! We’re going to get through this!” Sean Gayle’s voice booms out above the others, looking to the red-headed girl in the seat in front of him.

“Oh god oh god oh god…” she whimpers beside where Sienna had paused.

CRracKoOm!

Blisteringly loud thunder deafens everyone, white light shocking the plane as lightning strikes, sparks and a few curses swirling in the cockpit.

The jet like whine of the turbines outside the plane rise before stuttering then fade to nothing. The propeller blades slowing to windmill uselessly in the air.

“Welp, engines just lost power.” Jake says in a collected focused tone above the din. More alarms wailing in the cockpit. “Bringin’ her in manually. Everybody hold on!”

The shouting grew louder as everyone starts to panic after that. Clinging on to the seat, frozen in place Sienna glances back, looking for Diego and spots instead, one person who’s not panicking.

A girl with her dark hair in a tight ponytail and a long scar across her eye sits alone in the back of the plane. Her face silent and unfazed.

Staring, not remembering meeting her yet Sienna is suddenly shook as a hand pulls on her shoulder, Lila, the tour guide trying to get her attention. “Sienna! Safety first! Please find a seat!”

Sienna quickly looks down and takes the seat beside her, the plane lurching up the seat to meet her as she tumbles in, fumbling with her belt.

Next to her a girl sits still as a statue, face drawn tight. Skin pale as she doesn’t turn, face forward as she clings to the arms of the seat.

“Just Breathe, it’ll pass.” Sienna says, trying to channel the courage she’s seen in the pilot, Sean behind them, and even the spooky girl in the back.

“This can’t happen… not yet… it’s too soon…” she manages out. Her chest rising and falling shallowly, not breathing well. Cold sweat making her long red hair cling to her face and neck.

Biting her lip, Sienna gets an idea then smiles, “hey, why couldn’t the melons get married?”

“wha… what? I.. have no idea?” she stammers. Looking over at her for the first time.

“Because they Cantaloupe!” Sienna grins in a cheeky fashion. She stares back at her blankly for several long moments before speaking “Because… they can’t elope! That is the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard.” She attempts it stifle a giggle, but fails breaking out into the most infectious laughter Sienna had ever heard. ‘mission accomplished’ Sienna smiled to herself.

“Are you positively mad? This isn’t the time for jokes!” Aleister snarls.

Sienna is about to give a sharp retort when the girl interrupts “no, this is the perfect time for jokes!” she smiles back at Sienna sweetly, taking her hand, color returning to her face as she is breathing normal again, the din seeming to fade for the moment around them.

“I’m Quinn.”

“Sienna.”

Outside the blasts of wind, lightning and energy is reaching a fevered pitch.

“I think we’re almost out… hold on!” Jake grits out. Knuckles white as he works the yoke hard, trying to hold course, feathering the blades to stop them from spinning.

An eternally long moment later they break out into a clear dazzling blue sky.

“whohooooo! We’re alive!” the big fellow, Raj bellows out, fist pumping the air as other cheers and applause or signs of relief fill the air.

“Sienna look… there it is!” Quinn says looking out the window.

“Get a good look now cause we’re coming in fast” Jake calls back. “Welcome to La Huerta!”

Outside seeming to rise mythically out of the sea is a large island covered in rich emerald green life, glistening streams and long beaches, dominated by a massive mountain volcano in the center, a column of white steam rising into the air.

“La Huerta Tower this King Air X-ray Charlie Delta Mike Kilo requesting emergency priority to land!”

Jake waits several long moments with no response as he maneuvers the gliding craft towards the airport.

“Carlos! Pick up you lazy bastard. It’s Jake!”

Nothing…

“Ignoring me won’t make me forget the hundred bucks you owe me. Like it or not we’re coming in.”

A while later, smooth as glass the plane sails into the airport. Landing roughly on the dirt runway and coasting fast Jake jigs it into the empty hanger then stops.

If anyone had been a pilot they would have noticed the remarkable skill that took with out power but alas for Jake. No one seems to have cared at this point. “Meh” he mutters. Unhooking his headset and shutting down the systems.

One by one the passengers descend the stairs and into the warm tropical sunshine.

…..

And now same scene in the Journal.

……

So after that we noticed that the flight was taking longer than expected so I went up to check what was up with our pilot.

On the way met some of the other ten winners talking with our tour guide, Lila. Who might I add is… ok remember “tour guide Barbie” from Toy Story 2? Yeah that’s her. Perky and sunny as a Pina Colada. Great… now I want one.

Ok so anyway I go to ask the pilot and….. he’s totally asleep. Yep. Feet on dash, head on chest. And probably I would have flipped out if… if it wasn’t for the fact that I got distracted by the fact that HE was the beach-boy soldier in my dream earlier. Yep. Well… that and the fact of that southern drawl, blue eyes and that smile…

Oh yeah and apparently he gives nicknames to people that annoy him. So I’m “Princess”

Honesty, I… kinda like it. And because he seriously looks the part of a scruffy ranger I called him Aragorn.

Yeah and I may have a crush on him too… did I mention those eyes? He’s like, part Han Solo, part Aragorn, part Colonel Jack O’Neill from SG-1.

Anyway, right after that things got… scary like, frickin’ terrifying.

This big, black storm front hits, and throws me into a wall. And its bad. Like fire ball lightning and deafening thunder, Armageddon like bad.

I kinda got the sequence of things a little jumbled in my memory, honestly for the first half of it I just clung to a seat in shock, taking it all in ‘till Lila shook me out of it and helped me to a seat.

Somewhere in there the plane got hit and the engines died, people screaming and all that. All but one. There’s this girl with us, with a blue hoodie and she’s got a scar across one eye and has these dark eyes. There’s something off about her not like… bad just… she wasn’t afraid. if anything she looked… determined.

So yeah pretty much beside her it was Jake, he’s the pilot and Sean that kept their wits about them. The girl in the seat next to me, she… she looked worse then me at this point. About to have a panic attack. I cracked a joke like, a bad one, you know. The Cantaloupe one. Yeaaah… hey I did pretty good for short notice!

Anyway, I think it helped. Cause, like she laughed and started breathing again. And let me tell you… that laugh. Her grin. Okay yeah we helped eachother keep our nerves. She held my hand tight as did I in return.

Oh her name is Quinn and you have got to me her. Bright, bubbly, long sweeping red hair… looks like a Disney princess. And just as easy to be with.

Okay fine I like her too. A lot. Do I sound desperate?

Like… three people I’ve just met and I wanna spend more time with them? Maybe it’s the air here. Magical.

Okay I digressed. So somewhere after that Jake breaks us out of that storm and its as brilliant blue as it was before. Like… almost never happened. Except for the engines still being dead as you and I after that party Kaitlyn and her roomies threw last semester.

Honestly? Jake is one hellova damn good pilot. Like Tom Hanks in the movie Sully good.

He, without engines, got us on the ground AND parked in a hanger, coasting through it all. No one answered at the tower though. Which was spooky and it gets weirder later on.

But he got us down in one piece, and Oh My god this island is STUNNING! Green as an emerald gem from the air, caught a glimpse of crystal rivers and waterfalls on the way in and this big ol’ smoking volcano in the middle.

**** Feed back please! Thanks all!

[legion1993]

Do You Have Any Clue What You Do To Me.?.?.?

Pairing: Dean x sister!reader

A/N: thank you all for the love and support on my fics this is week 5 for the hiatus writing challenge brought to us by the lovely @thing-you-do-with-that-thing This is set at the end of season 1 & season 11, but I’ve put my own spin on this…This one is a little crazy and as always give this a lot of love and please refrain from negative commentary. There are a lot of twists in this one but let me just say this: IM SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING IN HERE…

Word count:

Prompts: “Please refrain from shooting her, we need her for later.” (dialogue prompt) Paris by Chainsmokers (song prompt)

Summary: your brothers love you very much they raised you in the life after they found you, your father had hidden you after you were born. you are the biological daughter of John and Mary Winchester thus making you the biological sister of Sam and Dean Winchester. But what happens when your oldest brother dean starts showing a different side of himself ONLY TO YOU when you turn 17????

part 2

There was a chill in the air, the night before your 17th birthday Dean had wanted to celebrate by letting you go with him on a paired hunt it was a quick thing but it was still the toughest one you had done yet: a vamps nest.

Normally things worked differently, but because it was the eve of your birthday you got to go on a hunt with just Dean and it was great the music the food, but most importantly the way you were now being treated like a member of the Winchester clan.

Dean took you to the motel where he polished his machete as you both unpacked and you said, “so you and Sam asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I don’t think i’ve answered you guys yet or have i?”

Dean now giving you his undivided attention watched you pace from one side of the room to the next as he said, “no you haven’t… whats your wish lil’ sis?” you smiled and said, “I want to go clubbing the lights the music the dancing its just something I always wanted to try…”

Dean could only smile as he said, “phew that’s your request gosh Y/N we could have done that months ago… why did you wait till now to want to do that?” you turned away and grabbed your machete and took a swing at your brother, “not bad bro but a little rusty, whats wrong afraid you will get beat by your little sister…”

He blocked your swing and smiled more as he got up and said, “you know your only gonna get hurt… besides its dark enough right now that we can just take out this vamps nest right now and be done with it…”

That got you fired up and with both of you smiling you both went out to the car with your machetes and guns full of dead mans blood bullets you both made your way to the sight of the nest. Dean decided to use you as bait there was a lot that you still needed to learn and on the job training was exactly what you needed.

Dean had made you dress as normal as possible and yet you could feel something different but as you both passed a church you started to ask questions, “dean what was dad like I mean I know I didn’t know him that long but was he nice…” this made dean stop and turn to you smiling,

“he was a great guy he was the one who taught Sam and I all we know but there was a lot of bad people after him and there still is & they wont stop till they rid the world of the Winchester line. But right now stay focused okay, if you want to talk more about this later we can but right now we will attack this nest and just chop the heads off these vamps…”

You felt like you were being followed so you pulled dean in close and smiled as you whispered, “we are being followed… we need to find out who or what it is and we need to kill it…” Dean had an idea and he knew you would object if he asked so he just did it… he picked you up and spun your feet into kicking the face of a vamp who was behind you as you got back on your feet you took your machete and sliced the vamps head clean off.

Dean clapped and smiled, “your first vamp how do you feel.” You wiped your machete on a tree and smiled, “I feel amazing that was awesome how many more are there.?” All dean could do was smile as you both walked towards the house, “there is about 10 in there I think I mean any more and we risk having to call Sammy for help but don’t worry i’ll prote…”

At that moment dean didn’t even finish his sentence before he pulled you both into the brush as a group of vamps come out of the house and you looked at Dean for the word to move in for the kill there was like 6 vamps out there which meant you were anxious. Dean placed a hand on your thigh and said, “don’t worry Y/N we can do this I promise you nothing bad will happen to either of us.”

All you could do at that moment was breathe deeply, knowing you had your big brother with you for this was something that gave you a lot of comfort. But then you felt something running down your leg and you moved slightly to lean on dean as you realized what it was, “it must have happened on a rock or something we need to cover it and we need to cover it now…before they notice…”

Dean took off his shirt and tied it around the wound, “don’t worry about it I have a spare in the car yes I know it will be fine now the question is can we do this without getting caught and stirring up an alarm.” Dean helped you up once the coast was clear and you both walked out hand in hand but didn’t make it far before getting to chop off the heads..

That’s when you became excited, you knew tonight you wouldn’t be able to fix your heat issue but maybe you could when you were in the shower. You focused on the job at hand, you could worry bout that later, you saw one going straight for deans back and you ran behind it and sliced its head off snagging another one right after.

Then you smiled as you were covered in vamp blood, you looked around at all the bodies, as dean picked up one of the heads and threw it through one of the windows and a bunch more vamps came out… you guys soon had killed all the ones there and knew you should both get back to the impala before you got caught by the police or something.

You both grabbed your machetes and went to the impala, blanketed the seat before climbing in & heading back to the motel room, but you both stripped down to practically nothing before running inside the motel room leaving your bloody blanket and your bloody clothes on the floor of the back seat of the impala. 

This was normal but something bout right then was different the way dean was looking at you with ravenous hunger. It made you start thinking wrong, so you grabbed your pajamas and went to the shower. You closed the door but of course also like normal didn’t lock it.

You strippd down and sighed as you turned on the shower, looking at yourself in the mirror before you climbed in the shower closing the darkened curtain, you stood under the water for a good while not caring you were letting the water soothe your muscles…

Meanwhile dean was waiting for the shower and then he took a risk he snuck into the bathroom knowing full well you weren’t paying any attention. He came in and strippd off his boxers, he took a risk and silently came into the shower and wrapped one of his arms around your waist while the other used his hand and snapped it over your mouth, “happy birthday sis, now for this present you cant tell Sammy cause he wouldn’t react well too it…”

At that moment the hand that was on your tummy was now dipping into your heat, it slid between your folds and you cried out and he could only smile, “sweetheart no one can hear you… trust me baby girl your not gonna have anything to cry about once we get started… if you think about telling anyone ill punish you baby girl…” he said as he slid a finger into you he started movin it around, there was a moment of terror in your eyes.

Your own brother was doing this to you he was making you his girl and he was only just doing this now, you could only wonder how long he had been like this and why he was just showing it… you moaned as he kept adding more fingers till his entire hand was getting close to entering but then he lifted you turning you round crushing his lips to yours as he pressed you into the wall.

Your back was against the cold tile but as dean held you there kissing you he slid himself into you, which made you break the kiss and moan loudly, to which made dean smile. “so I was right you were getting horny on the hunt it started right after your first vamp kill, i’m very impressed. Now try to keep quiet baby girl and we will have a pleasurable time before we go back to bobby’s tomorrow.”

All you could do was think about how your own older brother was taking your virginity while you were supposed to be getting cleaned up. You moaned as you tightened around him as he became bigger and you felt him speed up, “Dean your hurting me Dean slow down your gonna break me, Dean Dean what are you doing… DEANNNNNN….”

You yelled as he came inside you as you came at the same time. This left you both panting and you voluntarily kissed him after he was about to walk away, “thank you for my present, stay in here with me lets not loose more hot water and besides we both need it. You know i’m right.”

Dean stood behind you holding you helping you wash your body and he massaged your hair and you did the same to him once you both were done dean exited the shower and then extended his hand to you to help you get out, you took your brush to your hair before drying it and you applied your softner and brushed it again, you shoke your ass while you did.

Dean could only watch, then it happened you felt his arms engulf you again and there was a moment where you figured he wasn’t going to let you escape the family business now… and he was definitely looking forward to spending a lot more time with you.

“you know I don’t condone the way you approached it but I liked the outcome. I finally lost my virginity and I couldn’t have lost it to a better man.”

With that he helped you finish your hair and you smiled as you both stood looking in the mirror realizing you only had underwear on you slipped in your shorts and tank top, while Dean slippd into his sweats and smiled holding his hand out for you so you both exited the bathroom and laughed letting the true nature of things evolve.

Then it came time to crawl into bed and let sleep take you both for you had a long drive back to Bobby’s tomorrow and even though you took turns driving it was still a lot. you were positive you would take the long way back and stop a few times once for sure, but non the less you both were clearing one bed like normal and took it to heart.

You got in the bed and curled up to your big brother, you both knew what happened and both of you prayed nothing would ever keep you apart.. fate was about to be cruel.. the next morning your phone started singing, 

“”We were staying in Paris, To get away from your parents, And I thought, “Wow If I could take this in a shot right now I don’t think that we could work this out” Out on the terrace, I don’t know if it’s fair but I thought "How Could I let you fall by yourself While I’m wasted with someone else””

You hit the answer button on your phone and you smiled as dean pulled you closer, 

“Y/N you and dean need to be really careful the vamps aren’t happy with you guys right now.. apparently that nest you hit was one of 6 in the area one of them has a leader for this section in it… oh and happy birthday sis… were you and dean celebrating last night?”

You could only giggle as you smiled, “yes we had some beers and I taught dean how to dance… it was fantastic and I chopped some vamps heads off and it was amazing… we will see you guys later Sammy and make sure there is beer and tequila and orange juice… oh and dean groans a hello…”

You heard sam laugh as you hung up the call and turned over and smiled as dean said, “really Y/N Paris by Chainsmokers that’s your ringtone… and here I thought it was gonna be something corny.” All you could do was smile as you sighed, “it’s a good song plus I like it… and your really cute when you sleep…”

He then opened one eye and smiled pulling you closer as you kissed him and he said, “happy birthday sis, I love you more than anyone will ever know… now what does my lil’ sister want for her birthday food?”

You sighed and smiled kissing his nose as you said, 

“some of your famous chocolate chip pancakes when we get back to uncle Bobby’s… oh and I want you to do tequila shots with me… cause tequila makes me a very very happy girl…”

Dean moved his hand to slide down your body as you said that and then he slid it into your shorts and into your folds, “I can tell your happy right now… why would I have to wait for the tequila when I can have you all happy right now…”

His lips were crushing your immediately you felt his finger work your core he didn’t let up he kept going making you moan. His fingers dipped inside once more making you cry out he hushed you with his kisses and that only made you feel more frisky.

You felt his shoulders tighten and shift beneath your hands. You moved your hands to every part of his back feeling his muscles shift as he moved on top of you sliding his hands around your back and you smiled as he groaned you wrapped your legs around him.

Everything felt perfect but then there was a shift in the air as the doorknob jiggled and you both snapped up out of your love making session but you didn’t think anything of it till you went to the bathroom to freshen up and threw up you just thought it was just your hangover and you didn’t think anything of it.

You exited the bathroom and that’s when it happened, the door was kicked in, then some big guys came running in they knocked Dean out and grabbed you dragging you off, you didn’t have shoes you only had your phone carefully but secretly & silently hidden in your holister.

You were thrown into a cold dank room and all the while thinking about what kind of mess Dean was gonna be in when he woke which made you instantly break down into tears.

Meanwhile, Dean was awake but when he did and saw the door he looked around and brought his fist onto the table hard. There was a bit of a calm after he called Sam to start tracking your phone and Sam insisted he should. About 6 hours later Sam arrived and found Dean scowering everything on the laptop.

Sam insisted that dean take a big breath but dean instead started pacing round the room,

“Sammy our sister is missing and your searching the police scanner and sending emails, this is not how we find her. She is our sister and this is her birthday and she wanted us to take her to dinner and then go clubbing… she wanted to be normal for just one night one day out of the year, but right now she is spending her birthday trapped by only god knows what and it is going to be even worse if we don’t find her soon…”

Sam took his brothers tone to heart and right then they called on an old family friend, they went to see Pamala Barnes and they walked into that house in Missouri and dean was just scared he had given you the best gift ever one he had only ever dreamed of and that’s when it all changed he suddenly knew he had to protect you, he had to find you and he had to take you dancing…

“so you finally found out about your sister she is a real spitfire just like your mother god rest her soul. She would have been very proud of you boys for stepping in to protect her. But dean I need to peer into your mind to see what happened just before the attack and to see the scene of what happened through your eyes cause you were there… so if you want we can do this with sam in the room or without him in the room…”

Dean turned to pamala and said, “without please I just want to pay the penalty for allowing this to happen to our sister on her birthday of all days.” Pamala took dean to a different room where she had him sit on the chair and she came up behind him, “ok dean clear your mind except for the last 10 minutes before Y/N was kidnapped and you were unconscious…”

Suddenly there was a brief moment where dean sighed, “pamala you should know I gave Y/N something that she always wanted but in order to do that I had to open a door that I don’t think can be closed again…” Pamala only looked at Dean with concern and she knew that there was a small chance she knew what he meant but she only hoped he was wrong.

She then took her hands and placed them on either side of deans head, she then saw the events of those short moments before… she knew what he meant now and she knew why he was so scared but then she saw the attack and she could only feel sorrow.

“Dean I know why you are so scared of what happens to her but you have to always remember what happens could always have consequences, but you have finally found someone who is able to understand this side of you. Who is able to save you from yourself, from the darkness looming within you. If you feel that this is right then by all means go for it but know I support what you do.”

Pamala looked at Dean as she placed a hand on his shoulder and said, 

“I know who took Y/N we need to hurry and save her before the summer solstice. That means you guys only have 2 days to find her and stop them before they sacrifice her.”

The fear she then saw in Deans eyes was something far greater than that of what she had seen when he walked into her house. They went back to Sam and dean said, 

“thank you for understanding what happened Pam I know that I confided in you out of full disclosure and I trust it to continue to stay that way. And thank you for the info on who has our sister.”

They left Pamala and started across the states back to Bobby’s to track you down… dean only hoped it wasn’t too late when they found you.

Back in the room you were being tortured by water dunking and by that of a small little  ray of hope you didn’t break as they again pulled you out of the water and said, “where is Dean Winchester???”

you spat some water at him as he slapped you. you took a moment to breathe before you answered him, “why would i tell a scum bag like you but when he finds me and he will you will die for this…”

there was a slap cross your face before they dunked you back into the water you felt yourself pass out and before you knew it you were back chained to the wall and all you could do was sigh, “dean i need you…”

then you heard it several hours later:

guard: “please please let me kill the bitch she obviously isn’t going to talk…”

other man: “no please refrain from shooting her, we need her for later see her brothers will come and when they do they will fall into our trap…”

guard: “but she kicked me in the nuts… i want to kill her…”

back at the motel room, dean was trying to sleep… he couldn’t get comfortable not without you.

then he fell asleep and in that moment he heard your cry… it was like sirens going off… so he slept and listened to see if you would say anything else.

In those moments of rest that dean had you didn’t say much you only were as silent as the stars but he knew you were in trouble cause for the first time since they found you he had nightmares and that could only mean one thing: you were being tortured…

It was true for back place of your captivity, the big lunatics were doing some electro-shock torture on you. You were silently pleaing to Dean hoping that your thoughts were getting to him somehow that either he was sleeping or he was searching for you but you knew that you had to tell him as much as possible so using something you had hidden you used your telekinesis and showed dean what you were seeing as you were being tortured…

 Seeing this dean woke with a fright he scared Sam and he got out of bed,

“we only have a day left to find our sister but I just saw something in my dreams she reached out to me, Y/N is gifted… she has powers Sam I think that’s why mom and dad sent her away but now they are torturing her its Azazel’s men I know they are… we need to save her… they are electrocuting her right now Sam we need to find them…”

Sam got up immediately and started searching for demonic signs and found something in an abandoned area just outside of Lawrence, KS. The boys then sattled up and drove with the impala and Bobby’s truck which they dropped off on the way round and told bobby what happened briefly and as they were driving dean put in the mix tape that he had made for you both he was singing softly as he drove to the spot where he parked the car.

He and Sam got out and looked around the only building they saw was an abandoned mausoleum, they surrounded it prepared for anything…

That’s when you felt it and knew something was wrong… you hadn’t been able to see any color in the idiots eyes. The next thing you knew you had to do was figure out why they wanted your brother… then it made sense of course dean had told you about the demons and what they did to your dad.

You started to feel it, there was something within you that made you suddenly leap at the thought of escape. You struggled against the chains as the guards approached again and this time they were dragging something something heavy…

You knew it was now or never to try and escape as you did the only thing you could, you broke your own shoulder… this made you cry out very loudly which ended up ringing through the catacombs and up to the entrance where Sam and Dean were now standing, it reached them…

“that’s Y/N we need to help her…” Dean said not noticing the sunrise, but sam did as he grabbed deans shoulder, “dean it’s the solstice… whatever is going to happen to our sister is about to start… let go…”

With their guns clocked and whatever else they could carry set up they entered and started combing through the catacombs, they could hear the sounds of someone screaming they assumed it was you but then they heard your voice, they followed it till they saw you in a cage and demonic goons seizing around you they saw you struggling with the exorcism so they joined in,

“omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.

Ergo draco maledicte, et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te., cessa decipere humanas creaturas,

eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare. [pause] Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei”

with that the 4 guards went up in black smoke as dean and sam came over to you and you winced as they helped you out of your chains, “hows it going kiddo?” you could only smile as you saw your brothers.

“you guys came, that means it worked… good I mean I wasn’t sure if it would… I am so sore and I had to dislocate my shoulder in order to scream as loud as I could… also can we still have tequila cake and ice cream…”

All you could do was wince as your brothers tried to figure out the best way to get you out of there…then dean took your dislocated side and had you put it around his neck and picked you up carrying you bridal style as you held on tight exhausted and sore from being tortured.

You all reached the impala without any issues but when you did dean tossed sam the keys to the impala and offered to sit in back with you. Sam drove as fast as he could to get you back to bobbys but you had passed out from the pain long before you had reached bobbys.

Once there Dean ran you up to your room and helped reset your shoulder while sam grabbed ice packs and the first aid kit and when he entered in you were wincing in pain sam handed dean a sling which he stuck round your shoulder and then some ice packs as well as you came too,

 “hey squirt don’t worry your safe were back at bobbys… we will do the cake and tequila when your feeling better.. for now rest you need to get your strength back… we love you Y/N and this is where you belong…”

With that Sam walked out of the room but dean lingered slightly as he kissed your forehead and he smiled, “the next hunt that happens Sam and bobby will go I’ve volunteered to stay behind with you… I promise we will get you better babe I promise. I love you…” he whispered as he kissed your forehead lightly…

“I love you too babe…” that made both of you smile as he left the lamp on and watched you fall asleep from the doorway and once you were asleep he left the door open a crack and made his way downstairs.

it was 5 hours later when he woke from you screaming in your sleep, he rushed in and cuddled you till you woke and hit him in the chest to which he soothed you.

“Y/N its ok I got you baby girl I got you I’m here its ok…” all you could do was cry and you broke down instantly you indeed had had a nightmare one which was result of all the torture which had befallen upon you in the last while.

“Dean it was bad, the torture, It still hurts, my body hurts I can’t do it, I can’t sleep the memories they… they haunt me, the men standing over me using electric charges on me, running 9000 volts through me making me bruise bleed and keeping me starved & bled me out while drowning me… Dean it was the worst thing ever… I didn’t break they kept wanting me to tell them where you were I didn’t tell them I couldn’t I didn’t want them to hurt you or Sam…”

All dean could do was cuddle you closer to think of the hell you had been through he couldn’t imagine it but he knew he had to make it right he had to do something to take your mind off it. But then he remembered Sam and Bobby had left to a hunt they said they would drive through the night to get to texas… it was more omans more of something to track down Azazel.

“babe how bout I stay right here im not going anywhere trust me..” dean got under the covers and curled you into him properly and waited for you to fall back to sleep. He was so sure that him being there would keep the nightmares off.

One hour later both of you had fallen back to sleep it wasn’t till Dean’s phone rang that you both stirred but dean reached to the nightstand and answered it, “hey Sammy, Y/N’s fine she had a nightmare and I fell asleep while comforting her so yeah how’s Texas?” that’s when Sam started to sound boarder line panicked, “it’s a trap and the real threat is heading to you… Azazel is coming for her… he wants her for his own little army thing…”

Dean looked down at you sleeping comfortably in his arms,

“Sammy she is still hurt badly I can’t move her… what am I supposed to do, I mean we can’t just call everyone we know and like hire all the protection we can for her… that would put everyone else in danger too… we need to kill Azazel… or give him someone else… I mean mom died for a reason… if we can find out what happened to mom and why it happened then we can find out if there is someone that Azazel might take in a trade and then we can save our family name…”

Sam then remembered what dad had told him years ago actually on the day sam packed for Stanford,

“me dean its me… its my fault that mom died mom was just coming to check on me but Azazel at the time to her tired eyes looked like dad who had been passed out on the couch but if mom hadn’t have gone to make sure dad wasn’t still downstairs she would have still been alive but I would have been gone… that’s why moms dead and dad had told me that the day I left for Stanford. Yes I know I shouldn’t have kept it to myself but its not like I can do anything about it now except for offer myself to Azazel and hope you save me in time before he finds out what my weakness is… bobby is on a different case i’m following Azazel you take care of our sister… tell her I love her…”

With that he hung up the phone and dean ended his side and you stirred looking up at him you smiled, “was that Sam?” Dean could only look at you sadly and nod, 

“he is going after the demon who killed mom and dad alone and uncle bobby is on a different hunt but it sounded like Sam wasn’t planning on coming home not if it meant your safety… but don’t worry we Winchesters don’t stay dead for long…”

You reached up with your good arm and touched the stubble on his chin, “your getting fuzzy again bro, kiss me…” all he could do was comply and you both found yourselves gently having fun trying to forget everything…

You both got up another hour and a half later and ventured slowly downstairs and dean had you sit in the chair as Rumsfeld came up to you and licked your arm and you only smiled, “I know boy I missed you too…”

Then you saw the lights dim as dean then placed in front of you a piece of cake with a shot of tequila beside it and a candle that said “17” on it lit and everything, “make a wish princess and we will drink to your speedy recovery.”

You shut your eyes for a moment and then opened them again to blow out the candle, and then you said, “when we go to the living room can we watch a movie and can you hold me as we do?” dean only smiled and nodded as he toasted his shot of tequila with yours and you both drank it.

Deans reaction to the shot of tequila was one that you couldn’t help but laugh at when you started giggling after you both took your shots, it was something that happened next that made you a little angry, for dean then took a finger full of icing and stuck it on your nose.

“dean you know cake icing doesn’t belong on my nose, right?” he moved closer to you and he said, “no but if you let me remove it we could most definitely watch any movie you want…” that’s when you nodded and he came up to you and licked your nose gently before moving his lips to yours.

They tasted of cake and tequila you smiled and moaned into the kiss. You could only feel like this was where you were meant to be, but it would only get worse once someone found out about the 2 of you.

Bobby returned later that day no one expected him to walk in when you and dean were cuddled on the couch and you were fast asleep on Dean’s chest bobby walked in and looked around he saw you both and he quietly walked forth and said, “Dean how is she?”  

Dean couldn’t get up with you resting on him so he said, 

“she is getting there slowly she has only been down here for a few hours but she did eat and have something to drink so there will be a slightly faster recovery time. She will make an amazing hunter one day but she will need a lot more help.”

Dean then smiled as he looked down at you with those same eyes he had stared at you with the first time he ever truly saw you naked, that night when he gave you your birthday present.

“dean have you gone completely mad… what would your father say about this kind of lovey dovey thing you got going on with your sister… dean if you want to do this kind of thing that’s fine but not here not in my house… you want to do this with her then you need to wait till she is better and then get the hell off my property… you know I thought you wouldn’t turn out like your father especially not like this… dean you didn’t…”

Dean only scoffed and kissed your forehead lightly as bobby went back outside to finish unloading the truck. There was a small moment of passion there as Bobby came back to the living room and sat at his desk and he glared at dean for a few moments, before going into his scanning of the internet for more demonic omens or anything and Dean just laid there and held you close making sure no harm came to you.

But as ‘The Dark Knight’ finished Dean was passed out on the couch and bobby was heading upstairs when he put a nearby blanket over you both and sighed, “John your children are just as crazy as you…” then he went to his room for the night. There was a silence that just made the house peaceful.

It was the next morning that you all woke to Rumsfeld barking, you got off of dean as he got up and went to take a look and he saw a bunch of demons entering onto the property, he sent a alarm thru the house you got up and grabbed your pistel and cocked it as you tossed your sling off and you heard Bobby running down the stairs.

“Y/N stay close. Bobby whatever happens i’m sorry you had to find out this way… Y/N you’re a Winchester and my sister and my baby girl and I love you so much I know whatever is out there needs to be stopped… they will not get a hold of you..”

That’s when you turned to bobby, “does the PA system set up throughout the property still work?” it didn’t take bobby long to figure out why you were asking, “Y/N your brilliant, we need to set it up again and by that I mean turn it on…”

Bobby turned on the system while you grabbed the book containing the entire Rituale Romanum, bobby was ready at your command as you and dean stood at the mic and waited a few seconds till Rumsfeld started barking again before they turned it on and got started in reading it,

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus

omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te.

Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare.

Vade, Satana, inventor et magister

omnis fallaciae, hostis humanae salutis. Humiliare sub potenti manu dei, contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine, quem inferi tremunt.

Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire te rogamus, audi nos. Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae humiliare digneris,

te rogamus, audi nos. Terribilis Deus de sanctuario suo. Deus Israhel ipse truderit virtutem et fortitudinem plebi Suae. Benedictus deus. Gloria patri.”

You did that until the entire outside went up in black smoke once it was done bobby turned off the PA system and turned to both of you, “I know that ive always told you kids to follow your hearts and do what you feel is right but I just never imagined it would be this… but if your happy that’s all that matters…”

You and dean looked at eachother and went one step at a time and waited till that day to become roommates till Sams return which was still unclear if he would. But dean had hope that one day he would walk in and you guys would all be a happy family again.

—–4 Months later—–

One night before you and dean were going to bed you had had an argument of when you would start hunting again, the argument had caused both of you not to talk for several hours. After your nightly shower you exited the bathroom and went to put on a housecoat and a lingerie outfit you had bought a while back.

Dean was standing at the doorway when you opened it, “look Y/N I don’t want you to get hurt that’s why I said what I did, you did…” You had to stop him,

“see that’s the problem dean one time I get kidnapped and for 2 days you don’t see me now all of the sudden you are over protective like your my big brother or something… but your acting like my brother not the love of my life… im gonna go brush my hair do what you have to…”

You turned away and started to walk off but deans hand grabbed your arm so quickly that you didn’t have time to react before he crashed his lips to yours.

You kicked the door shut as he lifted you to curl around him and he gently laid you back on the bed and soon you both forgot what you had been arguing about and the clothes started flying and soon dean was thrusting faster and faster.

The bed was squeaking and you both giggled once finished and neither of you cared anymore. As you both laid there you sighed and smiled snuggling closer to his chest. Sometime the next morning you woke to the smell of bacon you opened your eyes and sat up as dean walked in with a tray full of food, fake flowers and a small black box.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed as he placed the tray of food in your lap as he smiled taking the black box in his hand,

“look sis I know Bobby and Sam would never approve of us being married or anything like that but to make things more stable and feeling more secure, I got you something it was supposed to go to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but the way dad put it was give it to the lady to makes your heart sore. I know now that it is you that makes my heart sore, you make me feel like a brand new man and I don’t know how I can spend 1 more day without being tied to you… so Y/N as we sit here in this our bed I adhere to you please become tied to me, with this ring I adhere to you with every breath in me I swear to protect you and this family. We will be a happy family.”

He opened the box and revealed moms and dads promised bands… the same bands they wore when they were dating.

You weren’t sure if your voice would betray you at that moment you put the tray of food down and you lept into his arms and kissed him, breaking the kiss moments later as you snatched your fathers band and slid it onto his finger, “I promise to be yours forever dean and to do everything with you no exceptions exclusions or anything… I love you dean.”

Dean slid your moms band on your finger and smiled, “its settled and we speak of this to no one if they notice we will say something but that’s why they are where they are… its to avoid suspicion…”

From that moment on you guys stuck to the motto but you changed your ringtone to a different part at one point cause you guys many years later would have something worse come your way…

For it would be 11 years later 

you were with dean when he was helping resolve the issues between God and Amara but what neither of you counted on was the gift that they would give you both when they ascended back to heaven or you know wherever they went…

You and dean were walking trying to find your way back to town, for where you were there was no  cell reception and at this point dean and you were holding hands but you guys cleared some thick trees and into a small brush when you guys heard a woman calling for help.

You guys cleared the brush and turned straight ahead of you as you both stood there holding hands you were staring at your mom who had a very confused look on her face…

Dean and you were thinking the exact same thing so you both took one step forward and at the same time said, “mom…”

but will this family reunion really last for at this same moment, Sam was meeting some sort of extended ‘men of letters’ crazy chick in the bunker and the last thing he hears is a gun shot… 

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

[thejoycefordblog]

Using Bricks – 3 Shower Shelf Options

Shower accessories are dead, long live the brick storage. Now when I say a brick storage I am referring to the use of bricks to create a shelf or ledge in a shower area. The reason this has become more and more popular is the constant frustrations for people who have had a rusty shelf or two. What about ceramic soap dishes? No. Often with the older shower accessorises water or chemicals in the water damage the metal shelving’s and over time look like a rusted out car on the front lawn of “that” house in the street

All this is to say that more natural options are coming back into fashion. I have spoken at length about nib walls and shower boxes and will briefly cover them below. The last option which we seem to be doing a lot lately is the ledge at the base of the shower that is used as a footrest.  It’s important to note that the more brickwork you have the more difficult the tiling is.

1. Shower Shelf/Recess/Niche

The location of a shower niche is space and use dependent. Shower niches can reduce clutter while adding a new feel and dimension to your shower space. The latest trend is moving away from tubs while creating a larger shower space. Shower caddies are useful but usually, lack aesthetic appeal. Built-in shower wall niches can be as functional as they are striking. Niches can hold a wide range of items, including shampoo bottles and candles for ambience.

So once you had decided you are having the niche the next step is to decide whether or not you want it to the be the feature of the room. Often the shower is the first thing you see when you look into a room so the box will often draw your eyes to it. The recently completed bathroom renovation below that is located in Canning Vale, Perth WA is one of the nicest finished boxers we have ever done.

2. Nib Wall

Do you ever have that one spot between your shower screen and vanity that you can’t quite get too? For many of our clients, it can be the most frustrating part of their bathroom as a lot of the time poor design and incorrect installation combined with lack of space results in this common issue. This brings us to the Nib Wall or that wall in the shower, that some people referred to it as.

The nib wall is a bricked and tiled wall that goes between the space of the vanity and shower. It is built to the height of the vanity and just slightly short of the width to allow for the shower screen trim in most cases. The reason it is done to the same height is to create a seamless look, often tiling the nib wall in the wall tile so it almost looks invisible. You can build them as high as you like but the purpose we recommend it for is one of being practical not a feature. The nib wall allows for a custom screen to go over and down the wall eliminating the pesky gab previous spoken about.

Below is examples of our design

3. Foot Rest/Low Shelf

A foot rest is designed for shaving your legs, Often you will see people install with only a metal bar across from one wall to the next in a corner. The reality is both options are work the same the only difference is what you can use the bricked foot rest for. The examples used in the bathroom renovations below in Dianella and Southern River WA are both long foot rests built around 300mm high and 600mm wide. The cons of doing something like this is the position of the shower head is effected as you cant stand as close to it.

It’s important to note that all our advice is general in nature and all bathrooms are unique so always speak to your local qualified tradesman for the best advice. At on the ball bathrooms we love feedback so let us know what you think with a comment below or if you are looking for a bathroom renovation quote and live in Perth, Western Australia contact us on 0419964678 or email us at ontheballbathrooms@gmail.com

If you like the article and want to get all the latest updates or see all our before and after show us some love with a like on facebook

For More DIY Tips For Renovating Your Bathroom Visit: Website: https://ontheballbathrooms.com.au Like us on Facebook: http://facebook.com/ontheballbathrooms High-resolution examples of all projects: https://www.houzz.com.au/pro/ontheball Keep up with us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/ontheballbathrooms

Originally seen on Ontheballbathrooms

[inkcaviness]

I dare you to answer all the asks for that ask thing u reblogged today. Do it! (just. do. it) XD

(tell feli im gonna fight her)

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? none of these really

is your room messy or clean? messy. very messy

what color are your eyes? mainly blue but. muddy

do you like your name? why? uhh yes. just bc?

what is your relationship status? too busy dying and being dead

describe your personality in 3 words or less: tired, yells, forgetful 

what color hair do you have? brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? uhh an old black bmw

where do you shop? for clothes or…groceries or…what. i dont really usually shop i guess?

how would you describe your style? “i only have one pair of jeans this sweater was on sale. its ugly and i love it”

favorite social media account: like?? my own or someone elses?? im confused so im just gonna ignore this question 

what size bed do you have? small. very small

any siblings? no

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? colorado just bc its nice there

favorite snapchat filter? dont have snapchat

favorite makeup brand(s): uhh i like makeup factory and art deco? but i dont really do enough makeup to like…have a favorite brand…

how many times a week do you shower? uhm. 7. at least…

favorite tv show? gilmore girls

shoe size? 42-43 european size, i think that 9 ½ in america?

how tall are you? 176cm which i think is 5″9?

sandals or sneakers? sneakers 

do you go to the gym? does gym class count 

describe your dream date: probably going to the natural history museum but just bc no one ever wants to go with me. im very excited about natural history museums 

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? like 20ct i think

what color socks are you wearing? one is pink and the other white with yellow dots

how many pillows do you sleep with? one

do you have a job? what do you do? no

how many friends do you have? uhhhh like 10-15 i guess but i never know when you go from being acquaintances to being friends 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? i have done nothing wrong ever but one time i had to pick up the dead and decaying body of a baby cat off the street and that definitely counts as “the worst”

whats your favorite candle scent? all of them 

3 favorite boy names: no

3 favorite girl names: no

favorite actor? george blagden

favorite actress? margot robbie

who is your celebrity crush? dont have one

favorite movie? love actually

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i dont read as much as i used to and i have too many favorite books, i cant choose one

money or brains? lol money

do you have a nickname? what is it? i have. too many nicknames. jooosten, nougat, parental overlord, hans,…there are…more

how many times have you been to the hospital? twice i think

top 10 favorite songs: im not doing this now

do you take any medications daily? no

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) dry 

what is your biggest fear? murky water

how many kids do you want? none

whats your go to hair style? well i mean. my hairs kina shaved off atm so

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) relatively big

who is your role model? dont have one

what was the last compliment you received? uhhh idk

what was the last text you sent? “you’d know if you knew her”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i cant remember ever really believing in santa oops

what is your dream car? i want a rusty pickup truck for The Aesthetics 

opinion on smoking? i really dont like smoking like. youre actively destroying yourself. but if you really have to smoke dont do it around other people, especially not kids, if they cant go away. i guess then you can do whatever you want

do you go to college? no

what is your dream job? haha i dont even have one 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? i think suburbs bc that way youre not completely in he middle of fuckass nowhere

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? yes

do you have freckles? no

do you smile for pictures? yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? a lot

have you ever peed in the woods? uhh probably

do you still watch cartoons? yes

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? never been to wendys and honestly i dont really like chicken nuggets

Favorite dipping sauce? mayonnaise i guess

what do you wear to bed? uhh just whatever tshirt and comfy pants i’ve got lying around i guess

have you ever won a spelling bee? no

what are your hobbies? drawing writing and dying

can you draw? ehh yea 

do you play an instrument? no

what was the last concert you saw? none

tea or coffee? tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? hhhhhhhhhhhh……….starbucks but thats a tough one

do you want to get married? ergh not particularly 

what is your crush’s first and last initial? honestly idk if i really have a crush right now im kinda mehh about the person i liked bc idk if its even really still a crush and im getting far too caught up with that anyways the initials would be v and k

are you going to change your last name when you get married? honestly that depends on the last name of the person id marry

what color looks best on you? i have no idea. if anyone can answer that question for me feel free to speak up

do you miss anyone right now? not particularly 

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? not really but who knows

what is your biggest pet peeve? lol i have so many i dont even know

last person you called: my dad

favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate 

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

what shirt are you wearing? an aglionby academy shirt lmao

what is your phone background? yurio and otabek 

are you outgoing or shy? shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? yessss

do you like your neighbors? theyre okay

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? yes, both 

have you ever been high? no

have you ever been drunk? not really 

last thing you ate? uhh bread 

favorite lyrics right now: dont really have any 

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night 

dark, milk, or white chocolate? white chocolate

favorite month? december 

what is your zodiac sign. aquarius 

who was the last person you cried in front of? i dont really know, i do my best not to cry in front of people honestly 

this took like 5 years but im done