#the shipping and mark up on the official product sites are RIDICULOUS

[cami-chats]

One For You Too

Title: One For You Too

Link: AO3

Square Filled: Free Square

Ship: background Tony/Rhodey

Rating: Mature

Major Tags: None

Summary: “Tony gives the okay for someone to make prototypes of Avengers themed sex toys, but he forgot to warn the team. They're more than a little surprised when they're opening the mail and see that.”

Word Count: 1447

Created for @mcukinkbingo

Full text also below 

The thing was, all of the Avengers knew that Tony was shameless when it came to sex-- even if he was a little more reserved these days because of his relationship with Rhodey. Whether he was that way because he was Tony, or if it was a byproduct of the leaked sex tapes, drugged out orgies, having sex so young in such a public way, or a combination of all three, it meant that when someone approached him about the idea of licensed sex toys in the style of all the Avengers, he gave them the go-ahead without much thought. So little thought, in fact, that he forgot to mention it to any of the Avengers until the prototypes were done and had been sent over.

Like advertised on the site itself, the products were sent in the classic plain brown box that didn't give even a hint about what its contents were. It was reasonable then, that when they saw a package marked for the Avengers in their mail, they opened it up without hesitating.

After they could see what was inside though, they hesitated a lot. Tony, of course, was late to breakfast that day and walked in only to have everyone turn to stare at him, some of them a little more hostile than others. "Did I do something to deserve this or did you all decide to hate me today?" He glanced around, noticing that Bruce seemed more embarrassed than anything else, so it surely wasn't as bad as Bucky's glare was making this out to be.

Bucky grabbed the card that had been sent along and read out, "'Mister Stark, thank you for considering the Avengers Toy Set. Please let us know if you have any suggestions or improvements to make the buyer of the product feel more like they are truly with an Avenger. This set is of course for your personal use and you can contact us whenever you have the time.'" Bucky flicked the card at him, obviously not aiming for anything painful since it hit his arm.

"Tony," Steve said, rubbing at his temple, "I thought we agreed that you weren't allowed to make decisions about the entire team without asking first."

"And I didn't." He poured himself a cup of coffee, frowning when it only filled up half of his cup. He set about making another pot as he talked. "They asked if they could try, I said sure. These aren't on the market yet, they just want to see if we'll agree to them. Besides, don't you want to know what they decided for you?"

"No," Bucky said vehemently, but Tony rolled his eyes at him.

"Relax Bucky-bear, you don't have to use any of them if you don't want to."

"Really?" Tony wanted to tease him for being so disbelieving, but all things considered with his past, that would be insensitive, and not the kind that Tony could just brush aside.

"Course not. This is more to simulate what the public thinks you'd be like in bed and marketing that. Personally I hope they made mine some sort of vibrator. Is it?"

"We haven't looked yet," Natasha said, peering inside the box. When no one beside Clint made a move to look, she pulled it towards them.

"First up is a vibrating wand!" Clint said like he was an announcer. "Given the coloring, we can assume it is for our good ol' Captain. Congratulations, Steve."

Natasha set it on the table, where everyone could see it. Tony thought it was a little unimaginative to have red and white stripes leading up to the fat end which had the blue background with white stars, but he also didn't have a better idea (yet). She raised an eyebrow, then lifted out a set of handcuffs that had a silver chain connecting them to a second set, obviously to go around ankles. The cuffs were leather which was normal enough, but they were adorned with bright red stars, which made them Bucky's.

"No," Bucky said immediately, shaking his head.

"Aw c'mon Barnes," Clint said, jangling them a little as if that would help.

"I hate to say it," Natasha said, "but what did you expect when your outfit has that much leather? At least they didn't do an entire fetish outfit."

"They have those, they just aren't officially the Winter Soldier," Tony chimed in. Bucky glared at him, and Tony just shrugged. "It's true."

Natasha sighed at the next item she pulled out. "I guess these are mine. We match." Bucky did not look heartened in the slightest, but that would have been a strange reaction to have to nipple clamps, not matter how much it would make sense in the moment. Clint leaned over and whispered something in Natasha's ear that made her laugh. "We'll see what you say about yours when it comes up."

It was Tony's next, obvious by the red and gold color. It was just a rabbit vibrator, but he appreciated that it was one of the thrusting ones. After that was a giant purple dildo, and Tony had to press his lips together to keep from laughing.

Clint's face brightened. "They think I'm hung! I approve of this," he said to Tony.

"I don't think that's yours Robin Hood."

"What do you mean? It's purple, that's my color."

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Bruce cover his face as he realized that it was actually the Hulk's toy. "Well, let's think about this. Out of everyone on the team, he do you think the public would assume has a giant cock?"

"...Steve?" he guessed.

Natasha covered her mouth for a second, before composing herself. "Dear? I think it's Hulk."

Clint turned to look at Bruce, who hadn't moved. "The Hulk? Wouldn't his dick be green?"

"His nipples are purple." Now everyone turned to look at Tony. "What?" he said defensively, holding his coffee cup like it was a shield. "That's how it works." They all continued to stare at him for a minute, except Bruce, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here with them.

"So if this is the Hulk," Natasha said, setting the ridiculously massive-- her fingers couldn't even get all the way around it-- dildo to the side, "then this one must be you." Natasha pulled out the anal beads with a wide grin, which was not something Tony ever thought would be something he'd see. "See? Still purple."

"This is more my shade of purple," Clint allowed, taking the toy from Natasha and examining it.

There was a moment of quiet as they all looked at the display of sex toys on their kitchen table-- yes, even Bruce, although he was peeking through his fingers rather than staring outright like the rest of them. "I'll tell them to go ahead with mine," Tony said, pouring himself another cup of coffee now that it was done. "Anyone not want theirs?"

Bucky raised his hand, but the rest of the team didn't move.

Tony nodded. "Alright, I'll tell them it's a no-go for the Winter Soldier. They'll probably re-brand these to be Black Widow, just fyi."

"Fine with me," Natasha said with a shrug.

Tony made a mental note to get back to the company, along with asking if they could come up with another couple ideas for Steve's because really, that was just pathetic. "Any other suggestions? Complaints? Questions?"

Bucky glared at him again, but Tony knew that he didn't mean anything by it.

He made to walk out of the room, but Natasha talking stopped him. "Hey Tony?"

"Hm?"

"They made one for War Machine," she said, smirking and holding the box out to him.

Tony walked over and glanced inside the box, then grinned. He took the box from her and left before anyone could stop him again. He got out his phone and texted Rhodey. You'll never guess what I have.

He didn't get an answer because Rhodey was either asleep or working, but then, he hadn't expected one. He took a picture and sent it, along with a peach emoji. Tony was getting a little aroused just thinking about it, but he didn't actually plan on using it for a while. He went down the 'shop and set it somewhere out of DUM-E's way, and generally forgot about it for a while until Rhodey texted him back. He was so caught up in his work that it was a shock when the text he got back was absolutely filthy.

He got to his feet, retrieved the box and started for the elevator, calling out to Jarvis to save everything.

[aguilar62jepsen-blog]

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[olaluwe]

NATIONAL OPEN UNIVERSITY OF NIGERIA AND ITS HARBINGER OF UNCERTAINTY.

Although education is of strategic importance to Nigeria’s growth and development; and at the core of her millennium development goals, but still a lot of work is begging for attention in that sector.

Nevertheless a giant stride was some time ago achieved especially in the tertiary level of her education system and that is the resurrection of the National Open University of Nigeria in the year 2002, by President Olusegun Obasanjo’s administration.

Established way back in 1983 by the government of Alhaji Shehu Shagari, but became moribund shortly without any cogent reason at least in the public domain.

It revival, however, came at a time when there was a growing need for paradigm shift from conventional campus based university education to a more unconventional open, flexible and long distance mode which is the practice in many countries around the world.

Informed by the country’s growing population and of youths especially, who are year in year out frustrated by their inability to access university education through the existing conventional means with all its systemic inadequacies.  .

The Open University is a unique system which allows students to accumulate credit units based on their intellectual capacity and financial strength; and at the same time gives them the latitude of maximum of eight years to complete their course of studies.

Other attractive waivers include being able to drop course(s) especially around exam time for whatever reason.

Permission to carry a maximum of 24 credit unit load per semester provided the student has the capacity to handle the attendant pressure.

The only caveat being that, if badly flunked, the student will be denied access to similar opportunity in subsequent examinations.

Unlike what is obtain in the conventional set up, the system allows for freedom to retake missed examination papers the following semester or as deem convenient to the student without any negative implication on the student’s CGPA..     

From inception fourteen years ago, it has grown steadily both in fame and fortune in relation to its pioneering mandate of delivering qualitative and cost efficient university education to the country’s teeming youths and adults as well who remain ever thirsty for university education.

From the era of its founding V.C, Professor Olagbemiro Jegede, poached from the Open University of Singapore who steady the ship of this flagship university despite storms of financial constraints, dearth of infrastructure and administrative bottlenecks that are characteristics of public institutions in Nigeria at take off.  

He was succeeded by the equally effective Professor Vincent Ado Tenebe who achieved a milestone of first two semesters per session in the year 2014 and onward.

Before then, it is on record that the school could only do a semester per session and it was due to no fault of his predecessor who operated under a most stifling condition.

Those who are familiar with the school will attest to the seamlessness of its working across faculties and departments in recent years.

Especially for a school that runs largely on information technology, doing anything on-line is usually tear-free and that is kudos to its I.T department and the web operators, Cyberspace Technologies.

For these reasons, the school became quite popular and students enrolments simply sky-rocketed.

Today, the school proudly boast over 120,000 students and counting; it currently runs programmes in the following seven faculties namely:

Faculty of Science, Faculty of Health Science, Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences, Faculty of Education, Faculty of Management Sciences, Centre for Life-Long Learning and Workplace Training and the Academic Certificate Programmes.

It's second to none in sub Saharan Africa and followed closely in second spot to the University of South Africa in student's population or enrolment, programmes on offer, and reach.

From the scenario described above, it is clear that the school is having the best of time and there is no stopping it from reaching all enviable mileages.

Then on board came bespectacled Professor Dr. Abdalla Uba Adamu, who holds double professorships in Science Education (1997), and Media and Cultural Communication (2012) from the Bayero University, Kano, Nigeria.

An appointment which, many believe is meant to reflect the country’s federal character in principle and practice.  

Though his appointment caused a mix reaction when it was announced by President Muhammadu Buhari on the ground that it did not followed established procedure governing succession of Vice Chancellors in Nigerian university.

It was, however, allowed to pass.

The other snag is that he did not come from the Open University system.

Would that proved his undoing?  You never can tell.  

After a year or so in saddle, things are beginning to unfold which to a large extent are contrary to expectations of consolidation of sterling achievements by his predecessors.

Within a touching distance of the second semester examination of his Vice Chancellorship in 2016, he mulled and experimented with the idea of replacing the school website which practically made it impossible for many students to properly register on their portals.

The question on the lips of many then is what is wrong with the site in operation?

If none, and could not have been because the site has served the school since inception, then this is only an attempt to stamp his visionary footprint on the school’s sand or merely to help himself to some coins.

It’s a common knowledge in Nigeria that appointment of this nature is usually seen as ascendancy fraught with self aggrandising opportunities.  

Affected students had to resort to manual registrations; something long thought to be history in the school.

Additionally, tutor marked assignments (TMA) was equally affected.

During the examination proper, grading was surprisingly done over hundred instead of the customary seventy.

In the current 2017 academic session, it officially became public knowledge that the old sit www.nou.edu.ng has been discarded for a new one with the domain name www.nouonline.com.

And that is fine by stakeholders who neither have a say in the day to day running of the school nor foresee any glitches cropping up with its working.

A transition ran into a hitch.

But who in the 21st century does something like that without adequate arrangements for data movement from the old site to the new one. 

Now uncertainty pervades the air with special regards to senior students.

For no cogent reason many of them were oddly not captured by the new system, and they were still being made to go through manual registration in which particulars like I.D card or anything to identified them as bonafide National Open University of Nigeria’s students were been demanded.  

If that is not ridiculous for a school which long pride itself as forerunner in the digital adaptability where pushing the boundary of education is subject, I wonder what it is.    

After the initial submissions, it does appear that many still cannot be traced on the system, and another round of information was required.

This time states of origin, local council arrears, sex, and date of birth were itemised.

But as members of technology savvy generation, you wonder where the data are simply gone.

Without much ado, it smacks of gross incompetence and visionary gamble on the part of the school management led by Professor Abdalla Uba Adamu to say the least.

Another example of institutional corruption which had long bedevilled the country for which a war is been waged by the current administration.     

In addition to all of these challenges, the school site has always been down due to what insiders claim to be maintenance exercise.

And for a site not up to three months going through routine maintenance nothing can be most unbecoming.

Above all, it has only led to increased sense of anxiety and frustrations in the minds of concern students.

And they can only watch as the drama unfolds while fervently praying for speedy solution.

For indeed, they have no one to whom to appeal except the V.C, Professor Abdalla Uba Adamu whose responsibility it is to ensure the smooth running of the school who so far has but proved to be a harbinger of radical changes which only breed uncertainty and frustrations as by-products.    .