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supermantv · 6 years ago

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the end of all things

It’s late. His eyelids have become heavy, weighed down by lack of sleep. It takes great effort to keep them open as he wants nothing more than to be pulled into the land of dreams. Night is slowly transforming into day as the sun begins to rise, creeping along the horizon. Keith watches, fascinated, as the shadows in the room shrink back against the walls, shying away from the warm, golden light the floor has suddenly become bathed in. He’d left his phone in his room, has no way of knowing for sure what time it is, but if he had to guess he would say it was around six in the morning. The realization that he has been up for more than 24 hours only enhances his exhaustion.

Although no one seems to notice that they have all been up for far too long aside from Shiro and himself.

Shiro looks as tired as Keith feels, but the younger boy know that their exhaustion stems from different sources. Immediately he is concerned for his best friend, the knowledge of how difficult these past few weeks- no, years -have been for him hits Keith hard. Shiro has shouldered too many burdens by himself. He has had enough pain inflicted upon him to last a lifetime. He has been hurt too often and left with too little time to heal. But as Keith studies his mentor, eyes searching his face, he's able to relax. Shiro wears a small, content smile, and his eyes are soft and fond as he regards the younger paladins of the group. Instinctively, Keith knows he is going to be okay.

Satisfied, he moves on, gaze following Shiro’s to focus on the others.

Hunk sits on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him as he slouches back against the wall. Pidge and Lance are seated on either side of him. The three of them are lost in their own little world, as they so often are, loud and unabashed as their voices and laughter bounce off the walls. Nothing has changed between them, they are the same as they always have been; the best of friends simply enjoying one another’s company, just as they had done on so many occasions prior. Keith doesn’t completely understand why, but he knows he finds that fact to be oddly comforting.

After another minute or two, his eyes finally come to rest on Allura.

She sits in a chair that’s tucked into the corner of the room, separate from everyone else. Her chin rests in the palm of her hand and her head is angled toward the window where her attention is focused. Her hair is loose, falling around her shoulders, obstructing his view of her face. He can tell, though, that she is lost in thought.

She’d been oddly quiet the entire afternoon, but Keith found that that could easily be explained away. The conversation had been mostly dominated by him bickering with Lance, Pidge and Hunk who had gone off on more science related tangents than Keith could count, and Shiro who couldn’t let a second go by without interjecting with some dry, sarcastic remark he must have found hilarious. Allura had smiled widely and laughed loudly at all the appropriate moments. She joined them in ridiculous debates over who the better pets were, defending the space mice vehemently with Hunk.

But if Keith thinks about it, there had been plenty of opportunity for Allura to jump in the conversation without being prompted. Her smile had seemed forced, too large for her face with too many teeth on display. Her laughter was strained, lacking genuine joy. Keith can’t help but feel she is distancing herself from the team, hiding something that has so obviously been troubling her these past couple of days.

There never seems to be any time for Keith to speak with Allura, and there is never a good moment to bring it up. However this holds true for all of them. This is the first time they’ve all been in the same room together in weeks. In the aftermath of their fight against Sendak there was too much to be done. There was never any time to catch one’s breath after their recovery, constantly being pulled in different directions, away from each other.

Suddenly, as if sensing his gaze fixated on her, Allura turns her head and locks eyes with Keith. He feels his face flush, embarrassed to have been caught staring so openly, with no way to pretend he wasn’t. He can’t find it in himself to look away though. Her expression is blank, features carefully controlled as she doesn’t allow her emotions to betray her. Keith can’t get a read on her, not like this, and it kills him to know he can’t figure out what she’s thinking. Her eyes, which are usually so bright and expressive, unable to hide anything, seem unusually dull, lacking their usual sparkle. The sight pains him. He can’t remember the last time he felt this disconnected from her.

They maintain eye contact for another thirty seconds or so before she lowers her gaze. Her brows furrow and her lips form a frown, as if an unpleasant thought has just crossed her mind. She turns her head away, and Keith can’t quite put a name to the sharp, painful feeling in his chest.

“Allura!” Lance exclaims suddenly, eyes bright and smile wide. “You need to back me up here! Tell Hunk and Pidge that-.”

Allura stands up, cutting Lance off before he’s able to finish. “I’m leaving.”

Everyone’s attention shifts to her. The way she says it, there is finality in her tone, and because of that Keith knows she doesn’t mean she’s excusing herself to go back to her room.

Everyone has fallen silent, and the room has become devoid of all laughter and conversation. It appears that they have all caught on to the implied meaning as well. There is sudden tension that didn’t exist five seconds ago. The happy, carefree mood is gone all too soon, replaced by a much more somber atmosphere.

It’s like someone has dumped a bucket of ice over his head. Keith is no longer tired, and he finds that sleep is now the furthest thing from his mind.

Lance shocks no one when he is the first to speak.

“Leaving?” he splutters disbelievingly. “What do you mean you’re leaving?”

“I mean I’m leaving earth,” she clarifies, meeting his gaze steadily. Her eyes are steely, hardened by resolve. “And I don’t think I’ll be returning.”

Her voice is firm and unwavering. It’s obvious how much thought she has put into this decision, she has put her mind to it, and is determined to see it through. Allura was never one to be easily swayed. This is not a spur of the moment thing, and it’s abundantly clear to Keith that she doesn’t plan on changing her mind. Lance doesn’t seem to realize this.

“You can’t be serious,” he says, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. Hunk reaches out to place a hand on his arm, but Lance shrugs him off as he scrambles to his feet. “Tell me you’re joking. Allura-.”

“Lance. Stop.”

Shiro is fully awake now and he wastes no time in moving to stand beside Lance. The younger boy looks ready to protest, hurt flashing in his eyes as he whips his head around to face Shiro. He seems to think better of it though. His shoulders slump forward and his mouth falls closed, and Keith is not sure if he has ever seen Lance look this defeated. Allura’s lips are pressed into a thin line as she regards him carefully but he refuses to lift his head and look at her.

Keith is the next one to speak, voice low and quiet, tentative as he asks his question. “Is this what’s been bothering you these past couple of days?”

Allura’s attention snaps to him. Her mouth drops open, forming a little ‘o’ shape, and her eyes are wide in surprise. “You noticed?”

‘Of course,’ Keith wants to tell her, ‘I notice everything about you.’ It’s the truth, one he’s certainly not ashamed of. But he’s certain he doesn’t want to admit such a thing in a room full of all their friends, and not when the situation is. . . well, this. Instead he settles for a simple nod followed by a sheepish “yeah”.

Allura blinks as if she finds the news baffling. Her head is tilted to side cutely as she studies him. His face feels hot, and he can’t remember ever blushing this much around her before. Seconds feel like hours, time moving at a painstakingly slow pace as Allura stares at him. All eyes in the room flick curiously between the two but Keith pretends not to notice. Finally, as if she’s decided that she’s tortured him enough, she clears her throat and begins to speak.

“Well you’re partially correct Keith. I thought about it a long time, and after a while, it seemed kind of obvious and the choice became easier for me to make. The Altean colony is still out there, along with Zarkon’s witch Haggar. We have no idea what’s happened with the coalition and what’s become of the Galra empire also remains a mystery to us. We know what Matt has told us but it just doesn’t seem right; staying here when I know I should be out there.

“What was giving me the most trouble, actually, was figuring out how to tell all of you.”

There is a pregnant pause immediately following her confession. Her gaze passes over all of them, gauging their reactions, and Keith swears her eyes linger on him the longest. The situation strikes him as oddly familiar, and a second later when Pidge and Hunk rush to Allura’s side to embrace her, Keith realizes why. It’s like he’s been struck by déjà vu, the moment is eerily reminiscent of when he told the team he was leaving to join the Blade of Marmora. It’s like he’s reliving his own memory, watching it play out before him with someone else cast in the lead role.

But there is something else- something she said that has Keith worried. It must have lingered on Pidge’s mind as well because she pulls away from her hug with Allura to look at the older girl, expression concerned.

“Earlier you said you might no be coming back.” Tears glisten in tawny eyes. “Did you. . . Did you mean that?”

Allura opens her mouth before closing it, sinking her teeth gently into her lower lip. She talks slowly, choosing her next words carefully, as if she is hesitant to speak the truth even though they have all already figured out what it is. “I’m. . . not sure if I’m being honest with you. I guess it all depends on how dire the situation is out there but. . . I don’t think I’ll be stopping by for a visit anytime soon.”

Her words seem to be the final straw for Lance, who is nothing more than a blur as he makes his way to the door. He knocks Keith’s shoulder in his haste to get out, and caught off guard, Keith stumbles back. Hunk and Pidge have the good sense to back away before he bumps into Allura. His heel comes down hard on her foot. She yelps loudly in his ear as she places her hands on his shoulders in what Keith guesses to be an attempt to steady him.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, stepping away from the princess. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” She sounds breathless as she answers him, and Keith doesn’t understand the reason why. “And yourself?” She’s not looking at him as she asks, eyes trained on the door Lance has just fled through. It feels like his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach as the next words leave her mouth. “I should probably go after him.”

“Of course,” Shiro nods, ever the understanding elder. “We can continue this discussion later, in a more appropriate setting.”

“Yes,” Allura says slowly. Her eyes find his and he’s held captive in her gaze. “We’ll talk later.” It’s a promise.

Later comes sooner than Keith had anticipated. Following Allura’s deliverance of her unexpected news and Lance’s dramatic exit, the mood was dampened and as a result, everyone slowly dispersed. Keith has returned to his own room where he had proceeded to fall asleep just as soon as his head made contact with the pillows. And that was how Allura found him.

“I can leave,” she tells him.

“It’s fine,” Keith replies. He hastily pulls a shirt over his head and runs his hand through his hair, trying to rid it of any knots or tangles. Allura does a good job of avoiding looking in his direction, a bright blush prominent against her cheeks. From his spot at the foot of Keith’s bed, Kosmo’s eyes flick lazily between the two as if he finds the whole situation amusing.

Allura had knocked first, calling out his name when he hadn’t answered. Understandably concerned as it was the middle of the evening and he wasn’t replying, she had pushed open the door and was met with the sight of a very much asleep and very much shirtless Keith. Flustered, she had moved to back out of the room, but Kosmo had already seen her, and had taken it upon himself to pounce on Keith and wake him.

“I’m decent,” Keith announces after he’s certain his hair doesn’t resemble a rat’s nest. He scoots to end of his bed.

Allura still doesn’t look at him. “Are you sure?”

Keith fights off the urge to chuckle. “Yes, Allura, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” she says. She lifts her eyes to look at him, still blushing heavily, and she makes no attempt to move from her spot in the doorway.

“Um,” Keith clears his throat, trying to stave off the awkwardness that has settled upon them. He pats the spot next to him on the bed. “Do you wanna sit?”

“Oh,” Allura breathes softly, and crosses the room. She sits next to him, leaving a respectable amount of distance between them. She’s perched herself on the very edge of the bed, leaning forward slightly, as if she’s getting ready to take off at a moments notice.

“So. . .” Keith says dumbly.

“So. . .” Allura echoes, her fingers twisting in his sheets.

“Did you talk to Lance?” he asks.

“Mhmm,” she hums in affirmation, but offers nothing more, and because this is none of his business and the matter doesn’t concern him, Keith doesn’t pry.

They lapse into silence for a couple minutes before Allura speaks again.

“Lance he. . . He doesn’t get it. He keeps asking me questions he can’t understand the answers to. Earth is his home, not mine. He belongs here and I don’t. This isn’t where I want to live, not where I want to spend the rest of my life. Earth is so strange, so foreign, so alien. I know my place in the universe isn’t here, and Lance he. . . He can’t seem to understand that.”

Keith is reluctant to ask his next question, somewhat fearful of the answer, but needs to know. “Allura, are you and Lance. . .” he trails off, unsure how to phrase it.

He doesn’t need to finish though, because Allura seems to know exactly what he is getting at. “No. I mean, I thought. . . well, I don’t know what I thought but the answer is no.”

“Oh,” Keith says, and there’s a funny feeling in his chest, and it’s like an immense weight has been lifted from his shoulder. And then he surprises himself with the words that leave his mouth. “Take me with you.”

“W-what?”

“I want to go with you,” he repeats himself, straightening his back.

“Keith I-.” Allura’s eyes are wide. She wasn’t expecting this; she’s been caught off guard, and she doesn’t know what to say. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me to do anything, Allura. I want to,” he tells her, voice hard. “What you said earlier, about Earth being Lance’s home and not yours- I feel the same way. I belong out there.” With you. “I want to help you find the Altean colony. I want to help you restore peace to the universe. I want to help you.” I want to be there for you, always.

“You mean that?” Allura’s eyes search his face.

“I mean it,” Keith nods.

Allura’s eyes have regained their sparkle, an emotion Keith can’t name shimmering in her ocean irides. He reaches out, taking her hand in his.

This is the end, he can’t help but think. The end of everything they’ve ever known. The end of everything they ever were.

But a brilliant smile makes its way to her lips that seems to light up her entire being, and Keith finds that he no longer cares.

And as she leans in closer, close enough so that he can feel the soft skin of her cheek and the fluttering of her lashes against his face, he swears that his heart seizes in his chest. He knows that this is undoubtedly the start of their future together; a new beginning, and he couldn't be happier.

#kallura #juniblade #kalluramonth2k18 #day 1.: new beginnings #hannah write an actual k/a kiss scene challenge #the sad thing is that'll probably never happen lmao #h.l. writes

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bepp-ers · 3 years ago

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imagine obey me! swd? but like... it's real. and you're fully aware that OH GOD THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE REAL and yet. here you are.

going on the presumption that you've played the game, imagine how fucking funny it would be to like. on a whim, be playing the game and be like:

"dang wish this were real tbh. sad that'll never happen lmao"

and then and then and THEN-

you wake up and WHERE AM I.

all this "welcome to the devildom" bullshit and all you can think about is like.

"if this is real, don't i die like... at least once? hahahah oh. oh no."

this is such a funny concept to me and i think i could do so much with it.

YO IMAGINE RIGHT.

so like barb can tell the future, and cos technically you already know what's gonna happen, imagine surprising the fuck outta him with the knowledge.

"hey. psst. hey barb."

"yes, MC? whatever is the matter?"

"in like a month, i die right? and you gotta take me though another timeline to re-alive myself, correct?"

"..."

":)"

"where... who... will that be all, mc?"

":)))))))"

GOD IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN BEFORE HE'S EVEN CHECKED AND HHAHAHABABAHAHAHA WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

and what if you told someone you weren't supposed to be there and they were like

"oh i know. ur funny and cute tho so ur staying."

"no like. this isn't my realm of existence?"

"haha you say the darnedest things, mc. wanna make out??"

"aight bet."

anyway lemme know what you guys think! this is so funny, yes i might take credit for this particular line of thought but i probably didn't invent it.

might write something on this, might not. let me know what you'd want to see! <3

#<3 #bepp-ers #obey me #obey me! shall we date?#om! shall we date?#om!swd?#obey me shall we date #obey me shitpost #om!swd? headcanons #obey me headcanons #literally the funniest shit I've thought of all day #omswd x reader #obey me x reader

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themafia-terrapins · 2 years ago

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I have a hard time with angst.

But.

Although Raphael “likes“ Immogene, he pushes down any feelings towards her, tout suite. So, maybe a spin off of one of the prompts. Why does she keep popping up? He probably knows…but the Brute doesn’t pussy foot around when he wants to know something.

Thank you!

i feel like i've definitely misinterpreted this lmao but i hope you enjoy regardless ❤ i wanted to have convo between them two originally but it didn't go to plan so it's him and don. hence why it's so rushed 😭

♧♧♧

"you like her" donatello skimmed his fingers gently against the wall as he walked in. he sat upon the chairs, eyes watching his older brother carefully. he deduced the following observations, one that his hot-headed brother was unnaturally quiet and the second was something, or rather someone, plagued his thoughts

"hm?" the brute was captured in a daydream, his toothpick caught between his scarred lips as his fingers toyed with his pen, dangerously close to snapping.

"immogene" it was her name that startled him, the pen shattering and flying opposite sides of the room. raphael composed himself, sitting upright as he eyed the genius carefully. the other looked at him calmly, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. he knew, of course he did.

"i don't-"

"don't insult me by pretending, raph. i know she's what been on your mind these last few days. i'm not here to judge you. but... as your brother i'm asking you truthfully do you know what you're getting yourself into?" donnie raised his eyebrow, his arms crossed over his chest.

"no... for that first time in my life i don't know what i'm getting myself into. and i don't care, i don't want to know. i just wanted to experience this feeling for tha first time" raphael sighed, his head in his hands

"she's so unlike kiki. her mannerism, her characteristics, everythin" the brute replied thoughtfully, thinking back to the bar and the encounters for the first time.

"don't kid yourself that something there. don't have...." they both looked at each other, understanding the last word silently. hope, don't have hope

it made him sad, how many times they needed help and how many times the world shut it's eyes and ears. how him and his brothers couldn't rely on anybody.

"one thing i don't get is why me? anyone in the world but she wants ta know about tha mutant turtle wit a target on his head" he gazed wistfully from the window, wishing for once he was one of those people scurrying hope to his significant other. away from the murders and the blood and the screaming and fighting. wishing that perhaps once in his life he would've have a normal relationship.

"ya can't love a villain in this world. no human can't love someone like us, don. it doesn't happen, its not natural" he leaned against the desk, his head bowed while his mind was poisonous montage replaying all those bittersweet moments. moments he may never get to experience again.

"and in tha end, i can't even guarantee her safety. i can't guarantee they won't get ta her. they won't torture her, they won't hurt her. i can't promise to rescue her in time" raph inhaled a shaky breath, knowing that he'd never be able to feel this way again. knowing that this couldn't happen again.

he couldn't jeopardise her life for his pleasure. he would not watch someone life fall apart because of him again

"i gotta stop. we can't be together, why hold onto hope? why torture myself with possibilities that'll never happen. i gotta stop pretending we ever had a chance. i gotta stop pretending she was the...." with every unsaid word his heart grew heavier, at any moment it would burst and those feelings he had done such a good job of hiding would reveal themselves.

a strange yearning took over his heart, he was surrounded by many people but nobody really knew him intimately. she had come close but it was enough to make the beast back into the corner.

for if he revealed his true self, could she take the horrors that lay just behind the shadows? could she see him as he was and still love the mutant? perhaps not, perhaps she'd go running for the hills and who could blame her? in this world, nothing beautiful existed. not in the mafia. they took everything good and beautiful and destroyed. obliterated it until it was dust.

sometimes love simply wasn't enough to keep two souls together.

#tmnt mafia!turtles #asks #tmnt mafia!raphael #tmnt mafia!raphael x oc #tmnt mafia!raphael angst

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asknarashikari · 2 years ago

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Shinnosuke: That Koganeya is one slippery thief!

Keiwa: Wait, you found him?

Kiriko: We also found Sumida attending classes normally.

Emu: Seriously, who was in-charge of his treatment?!

Emu: It's like they did the bare minimum!

Hiiro: I wouldn't say the bare minimum.

Hiiro: It's likely his frustrations got the better of him at times and his injured leg was damaged.

Kiriko: We checked the records regarding Sumida's accident.

Kiriko: Apparently, it was a case of drunk driving and the said driver is still unconscious.

Michinaga: Heh, he's complaining about his cards when he got the better end of the deal.

Emu: Michinaga-kun, both Sumida-kun and the driver did not get a better deal from their circumstances.

Emu: While Sumida-kun was able to walk again, he wouldn't be able to do the things he did before the accident.

Hina: And that's a perfectly valid reaction.

Kiriko: Hina-chan.

Hina: Kiriko-chan, you're here!

Hina: I wanted to see you.

Kiriko: What's wrong?

Hina: No, nothing is wrong.

Kiriko: Oren-san wanted to give this to you and Kagami-sensei.

Hiiro: Thank you for delivering this, however, I was under the assumption that he was going to have Jounochi deliver this.

Hina: Well, he's coordinating with the restoration committee about stages around Zawame, so Oren-san asked if I could do it.

Hiiro: Thank you for delivering the cake, Izumi-san.

Shinnosuke: You did and buy the cake for the kids?

Kiriko: Yeah, they really liked the cakes Oren-san made.

Kiriko: Much more than that of Kougami-san's.

Hina: *chuckles* if he were here, he'd commend the children's desire for the cakes they like.

Neon: Wait, wait.

Neon: Are we talking about the famous patissier from Zawame?

Neon: Oh I love his cakes!

Keiwa: What's so special about his cakes?

Keiwa: Nee-chan and I were at Zawame once before and we came across his cake shop

Keiwa: Nee-chan was really into his cakes.

Keiwa: Sure it was tasty, I don't think it was THAT tasty.

Zack: If you were a kid then, he'd probably say that you were still a kid and did not have a sophisticated taste buds.

Hina: Zack-kun!

Zack: Hina-san, hello.

Hina: What are you doing here?

Zack: i'm here for a Sakurai Keiwa.

Keiwa: Ah, here.

Zack: You're one of the newest Riders huh?

Keiwa: Eh?

Zack: That'll be *insert price here*

Zack: I'm guessing that was your sister who made the call for Druper's

Keiwa: Yeah, we were running out of fruits and we found that Druper's sold fruits cheaper than everyone else, including delivery.

Zack: Leave it to Oren-san to suggest that Druper's have an online store.

Zack: To boost Zawame's economy, after everything that happened.

Hina: He was trained in France, after all.

Zack: True.

Zack: A piece of advice, Keiwa, expect betrayal.

Keiwa: Eh?

Zack: As a Rider, I've betrayed a fair share of people, and everyone around here, apart from you new Riders, has experienced a betrayal or two.

Emu: Zack-kun...

Zack: I know what I did Hojo-sensei.

Kiriko: You were stuck in between an unstoppable force and an immovable object.

Kiriko: Quite literally.

Keiwa: *looks at his fellow DGP Riders*

Ace: *smirks*

Michinaga: *scoffs*

Neon: *looks conflicted*

Uhhh there's a bit much here for me to react to tbh

I don't know how nihilism and misanthropy is a valid reaction to a broken leg... I mean, my disability literally made me unable to play any sport without dislocating my knee, and that didn't make me want to end the world or whatever. The Sumida kid's got more issues than a broken leg, for sure.

Keiwa just isn't into the hype lmao. Tbf I kinda see his pov- I never really understood the whole hype culture thing, and I think Keiwa's just the kind of guy who finds something he really likes and sticks to it even though it's "basic", like tanuki soba.

But oh yeah that last thing... Honestly both Azuma and Ace are really sus. Tsumuri doesn't seem to answer to anyone but the person running the DGP and while we do see signs that she isn't entirely into the whole thing (like some fleeting moments of sadness/regret over the eliminated Riders) it seems like she won't rebel either.

#kamen rider geats #sakurai keiwa #ask #puwaasuru

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lilyclawthorne · 4 years ago

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Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋

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