#the reflection in this is insanely good rlly love it

[girldriveroscar]

UGHH the SUIT. the more i look the more it seems oscar has lost a bit of weight by the end of this season? even his face looks more chiselled and his legs look less meaty overall if that makes sense?whereas lando has bulked up a bit, i swear i remember after the summer break there were a few weekends where his race suit was so tight around the chest that he very nearly couldn't zip all the way up

i also have crazy feelings about oscar's insane blush but i'm starting to ramble and lose focus

for oscar i think a lot of its just residual babyfat going away and his training !! going off the assumption his training includes a lot more cycling these days (cycling is his preferred cardio/got a bike/moved to monaco) id agree his thighs are more toned/ass is fatter now (and the suit kinda just adds to the illusion more that hes lost weight)

(mind u hes wearing shorts under the wetsuit)

converselyyyy i think landos gained a lot of healthy weight, like second puberty weight LOL IMO before he looked fit in the way young guys w good metabolism r naturally toned wo rlly trying — and now he looks intentionally swole from exercise and diet which is Deliciously better. imo. imo imo.

both of them i think REALLY grew into their features and lost their “teenager” face over the course of the season - theory supported by max commenting on how Oscar looks like a chad now (bro just say he's hot wtflmao) and my mother who thinks both are "glowing up" (we had an extensive conversation) (atp i could do a highlight reel on all the weird shit my mom has said about drivers.)

ik the photos r getting redundant but for personal sake i need the side by side. God.

and honestly. Honestly. im kinda waffling. u can really make up any narrative ab their appearances bc their looks/size varies sm in photos. im not claiming this as bible Landoscar Aesthetic Growth frm the 2024 Season.

BUT. but i think i can say with some conviction, the biggest factor separating 23 landoscar to 24 is purely the Race Winner EffectTm aka just. self actualizing in tune with their cars.

feb 24 — nov 24

like the physical diffs r so slight! BUT the energy…the aura... 100% shift. and that shift reflects in how we (me) feel like these r two completely different men. have a longass draft ab this but cant b assd to edit it GUH. U Get what im saying. MCL38 stays fastest and lando can achieve orgasm. Basically.

mini tangent for funnnn. i tried soooo flipping hard to find more recent pics but I cannnnnnt! #recruiting unemployed oomfs. but from the Spanish GP 2023 their Nomex sizes were both S/M ! ngl I feel like Oscars poor posture (sorry I rly do love him its Endearing tome and I have to bring it up every time I talk about him) makes him look a lot bigger than he really is, especiaaallly when u see him from the back. Like he dwarfs lando from the back! but anyway I bring it up bc I think he rly is still one of the smaller drivers on the grid and wouldn't be surprised if his size is still a S/M

Lando is a funny case to me bc sometimes he looks pretty thick? then u see a close up of his wrist or thighs n its like wow ! u are literally breakable!!! to me he's got like..a lean sleeper build idk though

and yesss let s talk about oscars blush bc i could go on and on. does his chest get as rosy as his inner cheeks. do his thumbs go red when he's drunk. does his Three Sixteenths Chinese come out and give him asian flush when he's fucked up. (joking... but do es it... does it....) is his blush the color of his dic (GET DOEN GET DOWN GET DOWN) yeah. anyways.

[rockingrcks]

so i replayed dmc 2 (crazy, i know) for dantelucia content, and playing on lucia's side of the story is so crazy bc it's literally what dante has been going through throughout his whole life

when lucia found out she was a demon and that she could lose herself to that side of her it scares her to the point of wanting to die/to be killed, going as far as to tell dante and arius to kill her bc she doesnt want to hurt others which can be reflected with dante's own views of his demon heritage which is something he feels he couldnt control if he ever taps into it so he does rlly reckless things to cope with it

dante even secludes himself from people and forming relationships outside of trish and lady bc of the fear of hurting them. even with dante's very reckless behavior it can be seen as him self harming which says a lot about his mental health plus the fact that in dmc 2 hes carrying the weight of grief which makes it even worse as seen with him going to hell not even caring on how to get out of it

like both of these characters became reckless ppl when they find out that they have demonic powers and the fact they both cling to the their love for people/family says a lot about their characters

but heres the thing....what makes these two so good to see is the fact that dante comforted lucia and even validated her human idenity by telling her that "devils never cry" and i feel like this line truly stuck with dante bc of what Lady said to him when he cried (basically devils dont cry and u arent rlly a devil if u cried over a love one), its just 3 simple word and yet it holds so much meaning for dante and probably for lucia too which she probably needed at that moment showing how emotionally smart dante is...

dante and lucia's views on their demon heritage is such a good way for them to have a long talk with one another about their feelings and thoughts of being demons and how to control the urge and how protecting people is what makes them human but also feel like its their responsibility bc of their demon heritage....like i need capcom to write more of their relationship or maybe someone just writes it in a fanfic bc their dynamic has so much potential the parallels...the love they have.....it makes me go insane

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[simon-says-nothing]

tagged by the wonderful @dwarfsized! sorry for doing two ask games in a row im just finally at my computer haha!

How many works do you have on AO3?

9!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

141,123!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

bg3 currently! also used to write for the untamed, and unforchies vld!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1 - Staring at Eternity - (magnus bane/alec lightwood) (please this was in 2015.)

2 - don't make purple - (keith/lance) VLD

3 - fire on fire (wei wuxian/lan wangji)

4 - overcome the sirens (sigh. once again. i was in hs. but. todoroki shouto/midoriya izuku)

5 - the bane of my existence - (its fucking cassie clare again )

5. Do you respond to comments?

always!! mwah

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ah, probably burden , my wyll/karlach (wyll grand duke ending) fic. tis a small oneshot abt them being long distance pining, n i uh. was gonna write a happier part two but. shrug!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably don't make purple haha, the only longfic i finished and definitely the happiest one :,)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ah, i have a few times, not often! most notably someone calling my t4t wangxian. homophobic. bc they are trans men. lmfao.

9.Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have haha, in my wangxian fic, but its not my strong suit for sure. eager to get better at it one day!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i have not written any but i'd love to!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not yet!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

mmm no but writing w @sweetsuke in the doc will always feel like a fun collaborative process :))

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh man, i as leetle am a multiship bitch but. wangxian, wwx/lwj, has a rlly special place in my heart forever. love those dudes. they live up here in my brain forever.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i swear to christ i will finish fire on fire. i will finish you wangxian fic. has it been. 2 years? yes. do i still think of them ? yes. one day.

16) What are your writing strengths?

hm, i think! im good at dramatic one liners. and character work, for Some characters but not All. sigh.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

describing things without feeling like the most boring encyclopedic shit is my personal hell. i suck at adding a little life a little flavor to It is a room. boom.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i like it if it tracks for the character and the authors done research!

19) First fandom you wrote for?

its 2013. i am on quotev. i upload legolas/authors note (i have not learned the internet lingo yet and i thought authors note was the same as reader)

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

right now my darling is reflection , my wyllstarion one-shot, first fic in a long bit that i didn't harass myself over every sentence haha and! surprise! when you don't beat yourself up the words turn out better. insane!!!

i tagg @the-neon-pineapple @sweetsuke if ya want!

[nexfarious]

hi! i finished binging dq recently and i wanted to share some of my thoughts bc the brainrot it has given me is literally insane like. You dont understand. i didnt want to put this probably gigantic block of text in the ao3 comments so i figured id send it here so you can decide if you want it posted or not!

back to the topic i need to put thief in a blender (said with as much affection as possible btw). theyre soo painfully realistic and have a very unique perspective on the killing game which isnt rlly explored in fanfics so im eating it up! their talent is so cool and i cant wait to see them use it more later on. i also love how despite their paranoia and distrust they are still. Kind. Like they still reached out to ryouma and it literally saved his life!!!!! btw i think not killing him off in ch2 was a really good writing choice bc i think him dying after That scene with thief would just destroy them entirely -but on the topic of ryouma! im very glad you decided to give more spotlight to characters that werent given much of it in canon (or fanon ngl). him and tsumugi are characters that im rlly interested in but the game straight up gave them next to nothing, which i guess is very usual for danganronpa but yknow. Its still disappointing

thief and saiharas relationship makes me want to use both of them as a chew toy bc theyre so. So!!!!! im literally obsessed w them. we are still pretty early in the killing game but so many of their moments are already rotating in my mind At All Times. from the detective/criminal dynamic, to how much they care abt each other (thief obviously having a soft spot for shu despite not trusting people is soooo cute i need them gone). though that one scene in ch19 (i think?) where its said that their situation wld be considered romantic if it thief didnt have a knife at his throat is Life Changing and ive been thinking abt it so much -the contrast is just so good and the scene itself is so sad. also "Maybe this really was truly Shuichi, another side reflected to all of you, gleaming in the light like shards of a prism. Maybe you couldn’t see all of the sides right now, in this moment, but what you could see was so wonderful, spots danced in the back of your eyes." is such a beautifully written paragraph but the fact that thief thought this in the middle of a trial is so hilarious to me but i still support them. sometimes you really need to admire your Friend in a life or death situation to be able to push through. I get it

ok enough of those two. i love how you take the time to explore thief's relationships w other people as well. the break up scene between them and tsumugi had me blankly staring at my screen for good 30 seconds i think. the brief thief/ouma collab was great as well. i already mentioned ryouma but he is so dear to me head in hands.......cant wait for ch3 to physically beat the shit out of me

i have more thoughts but i also think this is too long already so ill stop it here. anyways i love your writing so much and im looking forward to more of dq! take care of yourself and have a nice day/night!

hi umm . this ask destroyed me emotionally, threw me out the window and then stole my lunch money /pos

this is genuinely so so lovely to read, i can’t believe you would take the time out of your day to come and tell me what you think of my fic,,, that’s so sweet <3

thief is my little freak whom i need to microwave at the highest temperatures. i think a lot of people should be more selfish in the killing game tbh, there’s a lot of characters who are ready to throw away everything for each other, i mean even a lot of the killers have selfless motives (kirumi, kaede) which is totally fine but!!! where my selfish bitches at where are the guys who just want to survive. despite all their paranoia though, they are a good person at heart which is something i’ve always found compelling in writing them.

WHY DIDN’T RYOMA LIVE IN CANON!!! you’re telling me a major theme of the game is overcoming yourself and pushing through despite hopelessness and then you just . kill off the other guy who’s canonically suicidal? it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth tbh. “oh you have nothing left to live for? die” i love ryoma i love mugi (obviously) and they deserve better than what the game gave them

they haven’t had much time for each other because we’re not even halfway through the game but UGH thiefhara means so much to me . thief wants to keep everyone at arm’s length but is actually way too soft to go through with it because there’s a detective with pretty eyes (which is so real btw) . i cant tell you anything about the plot but let it be known that chapter three is gonna have quite a few important moments in their relationship!!!

tbh the knife scene was something i just came up with as i was writing and thought “yeah okay that would be funny” and now people seem to love it,,, good thing i love it too

thief’s friends are so incredibly important to me btw . tsumugi who just wanted to be their friend but was rejected and has turned to angie and tenko, ryoma who still doesn’t have a reason to keep going but wants to try because there is someone who cares enough to reach out, kokichi (derogatory/with love), kaede who betrayed them in thief’s mind and still haunts them - someone who broke their trust after they went out on a line for someone, kaito whom i need thief to spend more time with because honestly he deserves more scenes

i hope chapter three slam dunks you into another dimension anon (said with so much sincerity and love), we got major canon divergence incoming ^-^

ANYWAY !!! don’t ever apologise for sending me your thoughts it’s actively encouraged and motivates me to write!! if you ever have anything more to say you are more than welcome to leave a comment or another ask i promise it makes me giggle and do a little spin in my chair of evil . hope you’re doing well too anon

[hishima]

okayyyy finished pkmn y (first time through kalos yippeeeeee) and it was okay. little mini review under the cut. just for fun :)

honestly imo the kalos dex sucks. in my first playthrough of any region i try to use pokemon that were introduced in that gen but it was a struggle for me to find good ones to use. the gen 1 pandering was insane and the amount of gifted pokemon too. ik you don't have to use them but for my first playthrough i like doing it """"lore accurate"""" so i did and i ended up with only 1 gen 6 pkmn on my team (delphox <3)

but i feel like i didn't see many kalos pokemon in other trainer's teams either. but then again i don't remember many of the teams bc i was insanely overleveled and defeated everything rlly quickly

(EXCEPT for the water e4 member his clawitzer kept killing my ampharos and i had no other way to deal with water types lol)

THE STORY ummmm. umm. it was okay. the pacing was a bit weird but there were some good concepts and there are some interesting characters. wasn't a fan of any of the rivals though i would take 1 good rival over having a friend group

also for how much people hype up mega evolutions i found how they were incorporated really disappointing? like it had barely any significance to the plot and only like 3 other trainers use it?? yea korrina lysander and diantha were the only ones who used it against me. i barely used it either i didn't really see the need for it

anyway. i feel like oras did a better job of incorporating megas somehow. probably bc your starters got one which. WHY DID THE KALOS ONES NOT. come on

AESTHETICALLY SPEAKING. nice enough. i will always prefer pixel art in these games but there were some nice environments

highlights for me were the route before snowbelle city with the bridge, couriway town, and reflection cave

to me oras looked nicer, but that might just be because hoenn is generally better designed imo

WHAT I DID LIKE is the rollerskates. movement in general was good in this game it was fast and fluid and you don't need too many hms

unfortunately the 3ds soundtracks don't hit for me usually ☹️. i don't know what it is but i don't love the soundfont and most of the kalos songs sounded very similar to me. but my favourite is the boutique theme honestly that one is a banger. diantha's battle theme was pretty good too

what else is there......... umm

THE CUSTOMIZATION WAS PRETTY GOOD i liked the outfits but i wish there were more hair options and that the clothes weren't genderlocked. still there were some cute outfits and the default trainer designs look really nice to me as well

also sycamore is officially my least favourite professor i don't likehim. the vibes are off and i didn't like how he was like "oh lysander was just a bit disillusioned but he had some valid points we should have met him halfway" BRO HE TRIED TO KILL EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. the dick can NOT be that good please change your ways

wtf happened to that guy anyway. did he die or get arrested or escape or what.

[navysealt4t]

RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER OH BOY IM GLAD U ASKED!!!!

sos sos so. a lot of this song has to do with whats happening on stage .

in this song, all the 'main' characters (anastasia, dimitri, anastasia's grandma, vlad, lily) are watching swan lake at a theater !!! and the thing i go insane about is that there are ballet dancers on stage doing the show, AND the characters for swan lake all represent a character in anastasia!!!

SO this is the bootleg im watching right now for reference if u wanna watch the scene <3 it should start at the right place but if it doesn't the song starts at about 1:47:20 and ends at 1:51:15!!!

SOOO !!! starting from the top anastasia's bit!

anastasia is represented by princess oddette/the swam princess and in the beginning before anastasia sings, you can hear the chorus of "once upon a decemeber" !!!!! very cool

also, doesnt show it in the video, but while all the characters are singing their little verse, the dancers are dancing really slow, kinda showing time stopping for the characters as theyre lost in theyre thoughts i think thats rlly cool !!! but oddette is dancing all alone on the stage, as anastasia has been all alone ever since she lost her memory <3

NEXT IS DIMITRI'S BIT <3

in this part, i believe the character representing dimitri is prince siegfried? ive never seen swan lake lol dont @ me if im wrong on this

but !!! his character immediately after being introduced goes right to anastasia's character and holds her steady. :) he is in love with anastasia btw <333 this ALSO shows anastasia not being alone anymore and falling for dimitri as well !

when dimitri's character dances, there little flutes that play whenever he jumps :)

thennnn ANASTASIA'S GRANDMA!!!!

noww this one is a lil tricky. u wouldnt expect these dancers to represent the empress, BUT theres a reason!!! shes still mourning anastasia and her 3 other granddaughter and i dont think the 3 dancers here are a coicidence. the camera pans away from the dancers, but i think they might dance with oddette for a bit during the empress's solo? not sure though!

fun extra!! when the three dancers enter stage, 'once upon a decemeber' chourus plays too!!! just like anastasia!!!

NOW GLEB'S CHARACTER!!!! very sorry the quality is horrible LMAO

gleb's character is i believe baron von rothbart!!! gleb is SUCH an interesting character i love him so fucking much. he is in love with anastasia but must kill her to stay general and for 'the good of russia' and hes so so conflicted. when he enters stage theres BIG BOOM from some brass instrument i think?? not sure what though!

AND THEN AND THEN this is my favorite fucking part

GLEB AND DIMITRI SING TOGETER !!!!! they both wish they could keep anastasia safe and love her, but both believe fate will not allow it. in gleb's case, fate has destined for anastasia to die and gleb is the unlucky man who has to kill her. in dimitri's mind, fate has destined anastasia to be with her family and therefore he cannot be with her!!! but dimitri loves her enough to bring her all the way to paris even if its painful to know she must leave him, while gleb doesn't have the strength (YET) to disobey his orders and duty!!!

and this is all reflected in the dancing!!!! both dimitri and gleb's dancer are hold anastasia up, dancing with her, in love with her!!! this means so much to me... then then then

the BIG ending comes

anastasia and her grandma are the red, dimitri is the yellow, and gleb is the green :) they are all singing and dancing together!!! anya and her grandma are focuing on the past (anastasia in an optimistic way, grandma in a mourning way), dimitri is focusing on helping anastasia have love and family, and gleb is focusing on his duty and what he must do.!!

then the finale

anastasia is dancing in the center, the spotlight, ALONE !!!! the first time shes been alone again since dimitri came. she has to make this desicion of what to do (stay with dimitri, stay with her grandma, forget she truely is anastasia for gleb) for herself!! only she can decide the choice!!!!!

sorry im insane i love this ty for letting me scream @gayvaferin <333 hopefully this makes a lil sense LMAO

do u wanna here my thoughts about quartet in the ballet becaus eholy shit/ holy fuck that song means so much to mee

[koorminii]

gold rush | bangchan (m)

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch, everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.” Or, a lot of people love chan but he only loves you. He just wishes you could see that.

⇝ pairing: bangchan x f!reader ⇝ rating: 18+ (for the most part it’s pretty pg) ⇝ genre: childhood friends to lovers | angst | fluff | smut ⇝ word count: 10.6k :o ⇝ warnings: lots of pining, based off of gold rush by taylor swiftie, attempt to use metaphors, kinda angsty, also fluffy, chan is rlly popular, minor character death (not mentioned in detail), misunderstandings kinda? but they’re bearable, chan halfway confesses like three times, but you just don’t want to get your hopes up :(, changbin is kinda mean, self indulgent!!, romantic-ish smut (I tried), the smut is skippable it’s like a bonus part <3, blow jobs, pussy eating, kissing, unprotected sex (we know better), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, lovey dovey stuff, time jump, lmk if i’m missing anything

a/n: hi angels, <3 this is now my longest fic… I listened to evermore on wednesday and gold rush and tolerate it filled me with the most insane inspiration ever, so despite my four current wips i whipped this up and posted it in a day so if it shows… i’m so so sorry </3 I could’ve made this way better so let’s pretend I couldn’t have! I hope you like it! It’s way longer than I planned considering it was only supposed to be like 2k. I also added smut which I hadn’t planned on but I made it as soft as possible just to fit the overall vibe I was going for. I wrote this in like ??? 8 hours maybe?? and most of all this shit is self indulgent as fuck like… i’m so !???? i love chan

playlist: gold rush by taylor swift, tolerate it by taylor swift, sad beautiful tragic by taylor swift, she by harry styles (idk anywhere near enough good romantic songs to make a playlist and this is all i listened to as i wrote so… yea idk what’s up with me)

mlist | taglist | navi

When did you fall in love?

You think you could most likely tie it back to when Chan first came to town, brown curly hair falling over his eyes, a fuzzy orange sports headband on his head, and a permanent blush on his cheeks. Or, perhaps it was when he’d introduced himself to you, blond hair curling behind his ears as he stared you down, looking less youthful yet even more handsome. Or, maybe it was when he sat next to you in your freshman year of university, spreading his books along his desk, badgering you for one of your shiny pencils, and winking at you when class began.

Maybe it was after all of this. Maybe you still aren’t really in love, but the way your heart beats when he’s around, when he smooths his hands over your shoulders and tucks his head under your chin, makes you think that maybe you are.

It doesn’t matter though– and it never will. Everybody wants him. All you are is another face in the crowd, a friend to talk to when things get tough. You’re someone with whom his shoulder’s brush as he walks past– not someone who gets to feel the wonder of his embrace. The feel of his lips against your skin, the sweet words saved for his lover. That’s never been you.

The sun beams down on you, its rays glittering over the wooden benches of the park, reflecting off of streetlights and seeping in through the cracks of windows and doors. Your feet move leisurely along the street, and in your hand you cradle a warm latte. It’s the middle of September and occasionally sharp gusts of wind leave an air of frigidness over your skin. Your lashes flutter under the breeze, and despite the cold you’re content to saunter along campus. It’s still warm enough for you to leave your hands exposed without them falling victim to the biting chill of autumn, and it’s exactly what you need to distract your mind.

Each step you take allows the thoughts that have been plaguing you to fall away one by one until they are no more. You’re free to ignore them until you have to see Chan again in all his boyish charm and utter cluelessness. Your eyes shut momentarily as the image of him comes to the forefront of your mind, each crinkle in his eye as he smiles, his dimple, his laugh. It brings a familiar ache to your heart. One that can’t fall away with your steps nor with the frigid air. It is one that never leaves you no matter how much you beg or how much you wish. It's become a part of you, and of that you’re sure of.

What you’re not sure of is how to feel about all that your life has become. When you were younger you were no stranger to love– to watching the way your parents interacted as if their life was a simple romance film. You had never lived a loveless life, whether through platonic love or familial, you had felt it all your life. It was normal.

When you were younger you never thought you’d have the same type of love that your parents had. You’d witnessed all forms of love– the best kinds and the worst kinds– and didn’t think you’d get the chance to experience either one. You’d been on the receiving end of many emotions, the good and the bad, though your attraction to others since you knew what attraction was had always been shallow. A simple crush that made your heart flutter, but nothing that made you want to dance to an imaginary song in the dim glow of the kitchen at night. Nothing that made you think waking up to them everyday would be a blessing, and losing them would be a tragedy. For you, it was just like it was for everyone else. Nothing special like the love you’d always laid witness to. Nothing like the love people on your television would cry and cheer about, completely and irrevocably in love with whom they considered their other half.

When you were younger, you envied your parents. As wrong as it had always seemed, as horribly shallow as it had felt, their love constructed a jealousy in you, an insecurity, a flaw. For something you had been exposed to since being a mere infant, why was it so hard for you to feel? All you wanted back then was the love that made people stupidly happy. The feeling that made a comfortable ache form in their chests and an irreversible smile form on their cheeks.

Now, you think that you simply don’t deserve that love. You feel it, you understand it, yet it doesn’t feel as good as it should. It doesn't feel like theirs.

You’ve tried to reverse it, to become the shallow young girl you once were, but the ache in your chest remains through it all, and the complete devotion you feel towards your best friend is just agony every day it isn’t returned.

You’ve arrived at your dorm room, the grandiose building imposing as it towers over you, yet bringing with it a sense of comfort. You don’t miss out on any chance to revel in that feeling– constantly feeling as if a rug has been pulled from under you in every waking moment of the day. It’s tiring, and at any moment you feel like you’re ready to crumble under the weight of it all. Was love supposed to be so agonizing? So terribly heartbreaking? Was it right to tear you down this way?

Your keys jingle on the loop, and your Mary Janes click with every step along the lacquered wooden floors, the entire building spotless in its entirety and poshness oozing uncomfortably from its walls. Though with every step you took you became more and more at ease just happy that you’d be able to crash in your bed and pity yourself for the next few hours.

That was all your life consisted of now, after all.

You jogged up the stairs, your legs burning with effort and your movements restrained from your long pencil skirt. A blazer was buttoned deftly over your chest and black tights made it so that barely any skin was exposed. Not that it mattered, anyway. You’re a grown woman free to do whatever you please, and if that includes getting sick in the late autumn weather then so be it.

Upon arrival at your dorm room your shoulders sagged in visible relief. The door couldn’t unlock quick enough as you shuffled your way inside, dropping your purse to the side and setting your empty coffee cup on the kitchen island. You knocked your head back, looking up at the ceiling through bleary eyes and a tired frown. Your feet ached in your shoes and you wanted to spread your legs wide without feeling like you were wearing an exercise band.

You plopped down on your couch, unstrapping and kicking off your confining shoes and curling your feet into the couch. You relaxed into the chair, letting the misery and affliction of the day seep into the fabric. Your eyes closed of their own accord, and a content sigh left your lips in bliss. This was your comfort after a long day. Sitting alone to your own thoughts— or rather with no thoughts, allowing the silence to envelop you and comfort you with an imaginary hand on your back. It was this that made every day worth working through— the knowledge that you’d be able to curl up at the end of the day and relax your muscles just to do it all over again the next day.

Ever since you were a child being alone was a comfort you always sought out. Being left to your own devices was the best thing your parents could have ever done for you, and it was when you were able to fully relax. Reading, writing, drawing— the silence of your bedroom was a safe haven for your turbulent mind. Always running, never stopping to give you a break or catch your breath. Your thoughts ran rampant ever since you could remember, tormenting you and making your life an aching bout of anxiety. Silence was something that should’ve made it worse, but it was when you could fall into your daydreams and pretend your life wasn’t your own.

Sleep pulls you under, insistent as it forces your eyelids down.

Chan has always been a stranger to love, and that’s why he’s always done his best to give as much as he could. Since he was a young boy he had never known his father, had never known what it was like to play in the backyard with him or watch basketball games. He never knew what it would be like to hang out with his own dad, sharing secret handshakes and joking around with his mom. He didn’t know what it would be like to feel fatherly love, to feel the embrace of who should’ve been one of the most important people in his life.

Since he was a young boy it’s just been him and his mother, in their downtrodden family home, barely standing no matter how hard his mother worked to support them both. His mother had shared as much love as she could, fighting through the bitterness Chan’s father had left her with and pushing herself harder to provide for them both without any help. She had tried her hardest since Chan was a child until he was a senior in high school, constantly making sure he was provided for and well taken care of. This love should’ve been enough, but for a long time it wasn’t.

Chan had never known what it was like to love someone completely and irrevocably, wanting to shout from the rooftops his devotion to another. He had never seen his parents love each other, had never met either of his grandparents, and had no aunts or uncles or cousins in his life or who cared about him enough to even pretend they wanted something to do with him. In elementary school he was ridiculed, fatherless and pitiful. He didn’t live in a house as nice as the other kids, he didn’t have a complete and happy family like the other kids, or the same amount of money, or the same amount of privilege. To them, he was nothing.

In middle school it was much worse. By that time Chan had been no stranger to bullying. He had struggled through it during elementary school, had been tormented by his peers since before he was a teenager, and didn’t let the words affect him no matter how much harsher they became. To him, his oppressors were the pitiful ones. They were the ones who had not experienced enough love, and no matter how much he lacked he would always hold enough love in his heart for others— so that they didn’t have to feel as worthless as he did.

Chan knew from early how hard-working his mother had been. He knew she tried her best, that she worked herself to the bone just to make him happy. How much she wanted her love to be enough— and maybe it would’ve been had he not had to experience all that he did. He knew, and that’s why he had never voiced his feelings to her at all throughout elementary school and middle school, and why by the time high school came around he was an expert at masking the pain in his heart with a smile on his face.

When Chan’s mother told him they were moving it felt like a weight had been lifted. Leaving all the pain of his past felt like the beginning he needed, the start he wanted to finally be happy. To finally let his mother’s love be enough.

By the time Chan turned seventeen, his smile was the brightest it had ever been. He didn’t know how good it felt to be admired, to be held in high regard, to love and be loved back. It felt good. He never wanted to let that go, and if it was up to him he never would.

Before Chan made it to college his mother fell ill. Chan willed the love in his heart to be enough, hoped that his prayers and wishes would bring his mother back to him. That the love she had always given him would strengthen her and allow her to live as happily and carefree as she deserved. Chan had a plan, he would be the one to take care of her this time around. He was 18, had his own car and his own job. He was going to college to start his career so he could be there for her in return. So she could be taken care of like she deserved. He begged for his love to be enough, but sometimes it simply isn’t. And when the casket closed on the worst day of Chan’s life, he realized that to be true.

Chan rushes out the cafe, umbrella in hand, giggling to himself as he runs across campus— two coffee cups in hand as he goes. Bystanders watch him warily as he runs, wondering if he’ll drop one of the items he’s carrying or wondering if he’s alright, but Chan doesn’t notice and if he does, he doesn’t care enough to stop. His feet splash in puddles, carrying him to your dorm room as swiftly as possible. He’s careful not to slip on the wet pavement and tightens his grip on your drink to make sure it doesn’t spill.

The building is still the same imposing grandiose thing that it always has been, but to him it’s nothing but slabs of cement between piles of brick. He pays no mind to the water that drops down his umbrella over the once pristine wooden floor, simply running up the stairs and to your room. You should be awake by now, he decides, all too familiar with your daily naps after class and after work. His cap hangs low over his eyes so no one recognizes him as he shuffles through the halls.

He knocks rapidly on your door and only stops when he hears your groan through the drywall. His giggles float from his lips freely and unfiltered, and he’s filled with unadulterated joy just at the simple thought of seeing you. His heart thuds in his chest and he hopes he’s early enough to see your face puffy from sleep, hair mussed and clothes wrinkled as if he had finally gotten the chance to wake up next to you.

When the door opens he grins, dimple on full display as you sigh, grabbing a cup from his hands and moving to the side to let him in.

“How was your day?”

“Same as usual— hey!” You place the cup on the table next to your empty one from earlier and move his umbrella outside the door, sending him a glare as you shut it behind you. “Not on my floors,” you huff as he ruffles your hair in response.

“I missed you,” Chan hums, bringing his cup to his lips. “How was class?”

“I missed you too. Class was fine, just tiring Channie.”

A smile flits upon your lips as you cross your legs on the couch, turning towards your best friend’s form sprawled opposite you. “How was the interview?”

Chan smiles, rubbing at his neck in mock modesty. “It went great, honestly. They said they’d call me, tell me what the next steps are and all that shit.” He turns to you, smile blindingly bright. “Fuck, I’m so happy.”

The happiness on his face is palpable in the air between you as you lean forward and bring him into a hug. His cologne sticks to your skin and you bury your nose deeper into his jacket just to feel a little closer to him. “That’s great,” you beam, “If anyone could do it, it’s you.”

His arms encircle you and his lips brush against your cheek. His fuzzy sweater rubs along your bare skin, leaning a trail of warmth in its wake. Chan’s hands run up and down your back and he chuckles. “I know, I can always count on you.”

“Count on me?” you repeated, curling closer in Chan’s embrace as he grinned.

“To be there for me, to trust in me, to support me. You’re always there for me.”

“And you’ll be there for me too.”

“And I'll be here for you too,” Chan whispers, his voice much quieter than it had previously been. He noses into the top of your head, tickling his skin with your hair.

Your breath is silent to match the sudden silence in the room. Chan is still, his nose still pressed into your hair but his hand rests against your back and he leans into you, still holding his weight but allowing himself to relax a bit more in your embrace. You shuffle closer, digging your chin into his shoulder as lightly as possible so that it doesn’t hurt him, and squeeze at his sides.

You know how hard it is for him having lacked a stable support system in one of the most stressful times of his life, and you’re just glad you could be that for him. You allow his cologne to relax you as the silence becomes heavier, enveloping you in its embrace. You let yourself think about things you shouldn’t, allow yourself to wonder if you’d be able to leave a soft kiss against his skin. If he would leave a kiss against yours, trailing fingers across each other and whispering sweet words to one another, simply lounging in each other’s presence. You let yourself think about what would happen next. Would he hold you close? Pull you into his lap? Tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and lean in slowly to kiss you?

“I wish I could tell you what you are to me.”

Chan’s voice almost makes you jolt, so wrapped up in the previous silence that it takes you a moment to recognize he’s spoken. His words bring a frown to your face— one of confusion and one of false hope. You know that no matter how much you want to, you can’t wish for feelings. His hair is soft to the touch as you run your fingers through it, curling tendrils behind his ear and ghosting over his skin as if he was yours.

“I wish you could too.”

When did you fall in love?

Maybe it was when Chan would run his hands along your skin as if you belonged to him. Touching you with such a gentle caress that it was painful to your fragile heart, treating you with such tender care that it was almost unbearable. Yet like a drug you were addicted. To his attention, to his words, to his love. As platonic as it was, it still felt like something to treasure and hold close. It was all you could get and probably all you ever would. Or, perhaps it was when he would take your hand in his, dragging you to a new secret spot and setting up a picnic.

He’d lay out a large blanket, ground it with books and shoes, and then lay out all the food he cooked. Preserved in tupperware he’d make a show of having you try each one, watching with bated breath as you put a contemplative look on your face with every spoonful of food and only relaxing when you’d break character and assure him that his food was the best thing you’d ever tasted, and it was true. It was his and that’s what made it perfect to you.

Or, maybe it was when he’d come to your dorm room every night, right when you’d wake up from your nap, bringing a latte or a snack and lounging on your couch catching each other up on your days, on what’s been happening in the week, and later curling up and falling asleep to a movie. He’d grab ahold of your hand and thread your fingers together— never noticing the hitch in your breath but holding you close to him all the same.

He’d run a hand along your waist, let it slip under your shirt and ghost his fingers across your skin when you hugged. It was all earth-shattering, yet things that were so normal. You couldn’t allow yourself to think of it as anything more than it was.

“So I take it you’re never gonna confess.”

“Confess?” You question, bringing your croissant to your mouth and taking a bite.

Hyunjin sighs, bringing a hand to his hair in order to run through it. “Confess that you have feelings for Chan.” He grumbles, bringing his americano to his lips and looking at you through long eyelashes.

“Be serious, Hyunjin. Absolutely not.” You hiss, leaning forward against the table and settling him with a glare before returning to your croissant. “He practically has an entire entourage. The last person he wants is me when he can have literally anyone.”

“Y/n, are you an idiot? If you had even half the awareness the rest of us have you’d see the way he looks at you. The way he touches you? It’s practically like you two are dating already.”

“But we’re not.”

“But you could be.”

“Hyunjin—”

“I don’t get the big deal? I mean it’s just so obvious-”

“Hyunjin!? The big deal is that I could lose my best friend. It’s really not worth it.”

The eye roll Hyunjin sends your way is borderline petrifying, but you’re adamant in your refusal. You straighten up, swallowing the last bit of your croissant before staring at him with stubborn determination.

“Have you seen any romance movie ever? They always say that and then they end up together because, shocker, they both liked each other the entire time. Don’t be a typical mc.”

“Real life is not a movie,” you scoff, “You can’t possibly expect me to base my reasoning off that?”

“I do expect. You should listen to me. As someone with an outside view and who doesn’t have this fear of rejection I can observe you both very well and you obviously like each other. Just rip the bandaid off and move on.”

“Rip the bandaid off?? Really? Is that the best you’ve got? Not very comforting is it?”

Hyunjin sighs, grabbing your hand from across the table. His hand is large, warm, and you can’t help but be comforted when it envelops you.

“Just trust me.”

Against your wishes Hyunjin’s words stick with you for the rest of the day. It’s not the first time you’d considered confessing, finally letting the feelings that have been building up since high school free— wondering if getting all of it off your chest would make you feel better. But then again, you’d just be like everyone else who’s ever confessed to chan. Begging for him to love them back, face in a red flush, wondering what it would be like to love him.

Day by day the air gets colder, blowing against you so harshly it feels like needles prick your skin. The sky is a deep blue, only covered by a few wispy clouds. Around you couples and friends walk through town together, hand in hand, leaning on each other, hands running over each other’s waists. Happily in love.

You look down at the ground with a sad smile, quivering with each step you take, and this time the silence doesn’t allow your thoughts to disappear— it just lets them come knocking even harder. It happens sometimes, when no matter what you do you can’t escape them.

Against your better judgement you hope Chan is at your dorm. He slept over after a movie night, face pressed against the couch and bangs covering his eyes. you watched him for longer than you’d have liked, but you revel in any opportunity to imagine you both are more than you really are. You know it’s all in your head, you know you’ve got everything wrong, you know it’s just hurting yourself more— but when it comes to Chan you find that it doesn’t matter.

The walk to your dorm is slow, with you stopping to look at everything you could. Staring at worn down buildings, waving at cute dogs, and smiling at people as you walked past. Attempting to immerse yourself in the world around you and stop feeling like a passing viewer— to make it so that it felt like people saw you, and you weren’t just there.

You’d left your dorm room early this morning, meeting up with Hyunjin due to plans you’d both made the week prior. You always enjoyed talking to Hyunjin. He knew what was important in life, was strong-willed and attentive. He gave you the best advice, even if sometimes you didn’t follow it. Besides Chan he was probably one of your closest friends, as well as a boy named Lee Felix and your dorm mate. It’s been a while since you’ve seen them both, and it makes you a little sad. You feel like you lose grip over the people that’s important to you, and that after a while they’ll have no problem leaving you behind.

You heave a deep sigh to get the thoughts out your mind, wishing the September sun was a little brighter so it could lift your spirits. Your latte is still warm in your hand, and you tap your nails against it as you trudge up the road leading back to campus. Hyunjin had other business in the city so you two went your separate ways after breakfast. It was still early, unfortunately, and you had no idea how you’d spend the rest of your day. It was too cold to do anything really fun, and most of your friends had classes today anyway.

It was obvious when you’d arrived back on campus. If the intricate buildings weren’t enough, the perfectly paved pathways and neatly trimmed hedges were. People carried books with them as they walked, wearing big jackets and hats. It was really getting colder, and it almost saddened you. Another year coming to a close and you were still stuck with the same problems and the same feelings. You waved at people as you passed, recognizing a few familiar faces along the way. Attention fueled you, made you feel that maybe you were more in this world than you thought you were. That maybe things could be different, that you and Chan could walk side by side and all those people that usually follow behind him could follow behind you too.

Heat punches you in the face as soon as you step inside your housing, your feet clicking against the hardwood floors in something that’s become a comfortable routine. Your jacket now feels like it’s too warm, sticking to you and trapping heat inside. You rush up the stairs, by passing the elevator that’s been out of order for weeks now, and hurriedly shove your key in the lock on your door.

When you come in Chan isn’t there, but he could be in any of the other rooms of your dorm. You don’t call out for him, not sure if you want to hear the silence that might come as a reply. You kick your shoes off and hang your jacket on the door, unwrapping your scarf and tossing it on the couch on your way to your bedroom. The door is cracked open and the light is on, and the view brings a smile to your face without your control. You open the door wider and peek in. Chan is sitting on your bed, feet propped up in front of him, book in hand. Chan has always loved to read since the day you first met him in Junior year of high school. You thought that like a typical boy if he was reading at all it’d be a comic, or an action series, but it was a romance. At first it was anything he could get his hands on. He’d read pride and prejudice three times, and then decided to spend all his free time in the library. You always joined him, of course, happy to have a friend who liked the same things as you.

When you gifted him a large set of romance books for his birthday that year you were sure he’d kiss you. He stared at you like he would, before smiling and bringing you close into a hug. He still has every book, and it makes your heart flutter in silly ways. Right now, he’s holding a book out in front of him, reading glasses perched on his nose and a cup of tea on his nightstand. He’s really a sight for sore eyes, lips pursed in frustration or concentration you’re not sure. When reading it could be either. He flips the pages deftly, running over each line with the intention to devour every word, to soak it in with everything he could.

He’s so immersed you’re sure if you spoke he wouldn’t even hear, and if he did he’d only answer when he was done reading the page. You two were the same in that sense. You stepped into the room fully and closed the door behind you, dropping your latte and the coffee you got for Chan on the nightstand next to his tea and then laid flat on your bed with a sigh. Your arms sprawled out beside you, and your chest raised with every breath.

You turned your head to the side to look at Chan and couldn’t help the flush that warmed your cheeks when you met his eyes, him already staring down at you with a fond smile on his face.

“Hi.” You whispered, rolling onto your side to look at him more comfortably.

“Hi,” he murmured, closing his book and pushing it to the side. He rolled onto his side to look at you, moving himself even closer before running a hand down your hair and cradling your neck, running a slow finger across your skin.

“How was your day?”

“I read myself into oblivion while waiting here like a poor housewife for my dear best friend to come back.”

“House husband,” You correct, “And I went to the cafe with Hyun,” you whined, “don’t tease me.”

“I’m serious,” Chan laughed, moving his finger from your neck to slip it under the hem of your shirt and lightly tug it. “I was so lonely and I didn’t call ‘cus I know how much you like hanging out with him.”

You giggle, sitting up and facing him. “Oh yeah? I like hanging with you too, you know.”

“I know. I’d rather argue with you than laugh with anyone else.”

“So what does that say about you?” You scoff, laying back down beside him and trying to ignore the fact that you both have gotten even closer, and each breath that leaves his lips lingers against your skin. You see his lashes flutter under your gaze, yet he doesn’t stop staring intensely at your face.

“That I love you.”

It comes as a whisper, like a confession. But you can’t get your hopes up. You won’t. You pray for some miracle that Chan didn’t hear the hitch in your breath, or the fact that you noticeably flinched at his words, your lashes fluttering closed under his gaze. Your heart beats erratically, thumping against your chest and pounding harshly against your rib cage. If chan moved closer, if he pressed his body fully to yours, you wonder if his heartbeat would match your own.

“Yeah, I love you too.”

Chan holds his phone tightly, a frown etched onto his face. The group chat is blowing up and he can’t stop for a moment to read any of the messages. He weaves between groups of people, waving at most of them as he goes. A lot of people know him, a lot of people admire him. He helps out as many people as he can and makes friends with most, just trying to be a pillar for others— someone other people can look up to and lean on when they need to. That’s something that he’s always wanted to be, who he felt like he needed to be since a young age.

He remembered what you’d had to say about it during your second year and his third, your books spilled over the desk in your bedroom. You had dark circles under your eyes, and you were getting thinner, yet you still managed to smile at him so brightly. As if he was someone that deserved to see such beauty, such love in your gaze.

“So that's the face someone makes when they know everyone’s obsessed with them, huh?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Chan, it’s good, you deserve to be loved.”

Just not in the way he’d like, Chan guesses, frowning at the memory. He still remembers how much it bothered him that he couldn’t do anything more but bring you company during one of your hardest years in college, just having to watch as you worked yourself to the bone. He would’ve taken all your exams if he could, but you would’ve never let him, too content in neglecting yourself rather than letting your friends do the same.

The sun is practically nonexistent this afternoon, hiding behind heavy clouds. It's been raining for the last few days, coating the city in a bleak atmosphere that heavily resonates with him. It almost feels like the lower his mood becomes the dimmer everything around him does too. Sighing, Chan turns around to face the large, grandiose building that’s become the meetup spot for him and his friends.

He skips up the steps, and pushes open the door to the studio, feeling good at the wave of heat that brushes over him. He goes there enough to bypass having to sign in, simply sending a nod the receptionists way and walking to the elevator. Judging by the state of the group chat, Changbin and Jisung are already there. Jeongin might be too, but he knows the younger one is busy with his own workload. It sucks to never have time to see each other anymore, and even though the school year just started he’s hoping to see the end of it sooner rather than later.

When he pushes open the soundproof doors and ambles into the studio, Jisung is on his back in a matter of seconds. As jumpy as ever and unnaturally excitable, he latches on to Chan already asking a million questions. Changbin just laughs where he’s seated in front of the soundboard, messing with the dials and settings until they’re at a level he’s comfortable with.

Chan drops his bag down before plopping onto one of the padded seats in the studio and Jisung wastes no time sitting next to him. Though when he finally stops his chattering a frown etches into his face.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks, a hand coming to Chan’s shoulder and squeezing lightly, attempting to bring a warmth of comfort.

“Nothing,” Chan laughs, shaking his head.

Changbin has come closer now, either finished with the setup or wondering what’s going on.

“I swear! I’m just having a long day, that’s all.”

“Is it what I think it is?”

“Well what do you think it is?” Chan tenses, eyebrow raised at Changbin where the latter stares down at him.

“Is it this shit with Y/n again?”

“I’m sorry, what? It’s not anything, exactly like I said.”

“We already know when you come in here pouty and upset it’s because of her. Dude, I think you just need to let it go.”

Chan sputters, his eyebrows furrowing more in confusion than anger. “Let what go?”

“These feelings? It’s just hurting you more than helping and maybe you need to realize that this thing between you two isn’t meant to be.”

“Bin-”

“Please, Sung, you’ve said the same thing yourself.”

“What!? So you two have just been talking about me like-”

“No, that’s not it. We’re just worried and it’s translating poorly.”

“You don’t need to be worried, and like I said it’s nothing, so leave it alone.”

“Whatever, man.”

Chan grabs his bag where he's set it down and wraps his jacket around him once again. He hears Jisung call out to him but he can’t work there, not with the hostile energy that’s bouncing around in that studio. The door slams shut behind him and he doesn’t even bother looking back. He bypasses the elevator, instead running down the steps and rushing outside, welcoming the chill of the afternoon air. It cools his heated skin and his angered heart, and gives him the strength to leave the area and walk back where he came.

He sees people he knows on the way but he pretends he doesn’t, not in much of a mood to pretend to be happy to see everyone he meets. His mind is a tornado of thoughts, and his feet move quicker than his mind. When he sees your dorm up ahead he scoffs at himself, at his stupidity, at his dependence on you. He continues anyway, running up the stairs and turning his key into the lock. You’re breaking so many rules for him, allowing him so much freedom in your life, and it just makes the spot he’s carved in his heart for you to deepen.

His mind is frazzled as well as his hair. His chest heaves in frustration. At himself, at his choices, at everything. It seems so difficult for everything to go the way he wants, as if the world makes it so that everything he wants to go his way simply doesn’t. His key is still in the door. He hasn’t pushed it open. He wants to pretend this act he’s got going on isn’t hurting him, pretend that acting like you’re only a friend to him isn’t something that carves pieces in his heart at every moment. His hand trembles at his side, wishing he had yours to hold. Wishing he had your skin to run over and calm him.

He doesn’t know when you’ve become such a comfort to him. Maybe it was when you’d smiled at him for the first time. When you offered him a seat at your lunch table and shared what you didn’t want with him when he asked. Or, perhaps it was when you’d accompany him to the library everyday after school, sitting next to each other and reading whatever books you both could get your hands on. Or, maybe it was when you’d spent your savings from your summer job on a stack of books for his birthday, and it was the first time someone besides his mom had ever gotten him a birthday gift.

Or maybe it happened after all that. When he’d cried in front of you for the first time and you just held him tightly, refusing to let go. Or, perhaps it was when you’d come to his mothers funeral. A sad one, it was, with only four people in attendance. Chan couldn’t afford a casket, couldn’t afford to have a church with a pastor. He didn’t have anything, but he had you holding his hand, rubbing his back as he cried at the loss of all he had left.

Chan didn’t know back then that he’d gained something too.

Let it go? He can’t let it go, because you’re a part of him now too and losing you, losing his love for you, would be like losing a part of himself. Chan pushes the door open, content in how much he’s relaxed in the moments before the door. You’re standing in front of the door when he opens it, a mug in hand and a smile on your face.

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Yeah,” Chan chokes, wrapping his arms around you and cradling your head close to his chest. You slide the mug onto the table beside you so you can pull him even closer, gripping his shirt tightly and positioning yourself so that Chan can lean his head into your neck. His body trembles with the tears that were begging to be let out as he asks in your warmth.

“You know I love you, right? I- I love you so much it hurts me.”

Your eyebrows furrow at his words, whimpered and muffled as they’re spoken against your skin. “What’s wrong, Channie? Talk to me.”

Chan shakes his head, knocking against your chin. “I can’t. I can't.”

“Yes you can. You can tell me anything.”

“I want a lot of things that I shouldn’t.” Chan whispers, bringing a palm to smooth over your hair. “I think about a lot of things I shouldn’t. Wondering if I could have it.”

“Chan…?”

“You are one of those things.”

You don’t realize you’ve stopped breathing until you let out a long exhale, your face screwing up with unshed tears as Chan starts to sway your body against his. His palm continues to run along your hair as if it’s anchoring him, giving him the courage to continue.

“For years, I’ve wondered what it would be like to hold you as more than a friend.”

Chan digs his face deeper in the crook of your neck, pressing his nose into your skin, and letting his tears wet your sleeve. His eyes flutter shut and his grip on you tightens. He didn’t plan on confessing to you tonight. He didn’t plan on cradling you close to his chest, feeling your breath against his skin as he poured his heart out, letting you into the one part of his soul he’s shown no one. It’s fitting, he thinks, for you to be the first to know. He’s peeling himself bare, letting you see the pieces of him he’s worked so hard to hide. The parts of him that he’s held so close to his heart, unraveled with a few simple words.

“Everytime I said I love you, I meant it. I meant it with more of me than anyone has ever seen. I’ve meant it with every fiber of my being, and you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have.” Chan releases a shaky breath, chuckling lightly before he continues.

“You’re already the most important person in my life, and I can’t imagine life without you. I wish I could tell you what you are to me.”

Your vision is blurred by tears, and your hands tremble where they grip Chan's shirt. He's so broad, covering you with all of him. He’s all around you, suffocating you with his words and himself. Your lip wobbles, but you muster up all the courage you don’t have, the strength you wish you held, to open up your heart in return.

“I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch, everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you,” you start, your words muffled and your breath jagged.

Chan is quiet, his heart beating faster than what should be humanly possible.

“When I'm near you, in this space, the pause between this breath and the next, you’ve carved a piece of yourself in my heart.”

“…”

“And I’m not afraid to love you— only afraid that my love won’t be enough. If I know what love is, it’s because of you.”

Chan strokes a thumb against your cheek, moving from your neck to lean his forehead down against yours.

“So please love me. As more than a friend, because it’s unbearable to hold you and look at you without being able to call you mine.”

“I’m yours,” Chan murmurs, “for as long as you want me.”

“So forever?” You laugh, but it doesn’t sound much like a laugh, wet and nasally from your tears.

“I really want to kiss you,” Chan whispers, hooking a finger under your chin and pulling you close. His nose brushes against yours and your breaths intermingle, mending with each other.

“Please.”

Your breath is labored as Chan’s lips ghost over yours. His shirt is soft under your fingers and his hand is strong where he grips your waist. Your lips brush, and you realize that this is it, the moment you’ve been wishing for, begging for, since you met him. Since you realized you were in love with him. With his silliness, with his laugh, his smile, his care. Since you realized his genuinity, how determined he was and is to take care of the people around him.

It’s tentative— gentle and soft— but not hesitant. You’re sure of what you want, and what you want is Chan. Your best friend. Your lips move slowly at first, exploring each other, before they press closer, lapping over each other and locking you both against one another. Your body buzzes with warmth, and you wrap your arms around Chan's neck— pulling him impossibly closer as he smiles.

You feel so warm, so happy, the kiss becomes less of a kiss and more of your teeth hitting each other from the force of your smiles. Tears still drip steadily from your cheeks but this time from happiness.

“I like kissing you,” Chan giggles when you both break apart for air, sighing against your skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake.

You leave a kiss full of relief on his lips, salty and wet, moving your mouth against his as he returns it. Slowly, your lips start to press against each other more eagerly, lapping over each other and filling you with warmth.

You find that you’ve fallen.

Truly, madly, and completely.

Fallen for a man that treats you like you’re his saving grace.

For a man who holds you like you’ll disappear without his hands on you.

For a man who’s simple confession made your heart stop momentarily.

You’re in love, and as much as it had been a part of you for all these years, you’re finally letting yourself admit it.

And he, you.

It’s been a few weeks since then, and you’ve been thinking. Every time his lips brush over your skin, when he pulls you up into his lap and kisses you breathless, when he digs his fingers into your hips content to leave marks that last for the next few days, you think about why he stops. You think about why he doesn’t touch you more. After all, now you both finally can.

Chan sits on the couch, your legs swung over his own, and a romance movie plays quietly in the background. You brush his hair from over his forehead, and your nails gently scrape along his skin. Chan hums, the vibrations traveling through your shirt and into your skin.

You feel the happiest you’ve ever been. You feel like maybe this could be what your parents have always had. A love that sticks forever. You want Chan to be your person. You’re so sure that he is.

“Are you tired?” You question, leaning down to get a look at his face. “We can sleep.”

“No, I’m not.” Chan smiles, grabbing your free hand and tugging it close to his face, leaving a kiss on each of your knuckles. His touch lingers against your skin and warmth blooms inside you. He leans forward, leaving a sweet peck on your lips but you lean in, pressing insistently against him. He lets you, opening his mouth and swiping his tongue across your lips.

He runs his thumb across your cheek, gently caressing your skin and everywhere he touches you, it feels like your body is in flames. This something has been building up inside you and now you're not sure how long you'll be able to control yourself. “I trust you, so please.” You plead, nosing against him. His lips feel so soft, so fitting on your mouth, you let out a whimper when he goes further than just a gentle kiss, taking your bottom lip between his properly.

Chan hadn’t even thought about properly responding to you before he was flipping you over, caging you under him and grinding his hips against yours. Your fingers trailed down his skin, running over the fabric of his clothes before tucking inside the waistband of his sweatpants and sliding them down his hips. Chan was gentle. Always gentle. He pulled your shorts down slowly and you sent a nod his way when he asked you if you were sure.

He nosed against your stomach, trailing his fingers against your bare legs and pulling your underwear down with his teeth. A shiver runs through you at the sight, and you grab at his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself. “You’re so gorgeous.” He sighed, as if he couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe that you were his, that he was yours.

His mouth moves along the sensitive parts of your neck, down the line of your throat, while his other hand separates from your own to run down your waist and touch you where he knows you shiver with need.

He slips his leg between your parted ones, allowing you to settle down right on top of his muscular thigh. As the kiss grows deeper, your hips begin to move, gyrating and pressing down against him. As your bodies move with one another, your pleasure continues to rise, forming from your center and spreading over your body.

You desperately try to avoid bucking your hips upwards into him, but fail again and again. Eventually, Chan drags his mouth away, trailing it down your neck. You’re gasping against him, and you curl into his touch, whimpering when sharp teeth nip at you. There’s a tongue soothing the wound, sucking at the same spot, lapping over it. You can feel yourself starting to shake, whimpering more often than not, before you’re dragging Chan’s face back up into a kiss rt. You can feel Chan smiling into it, chuckling just the tiniest bit, but resume kissing him.

He holds his gaze on yours when you fall apart, relaxing your body while the pulsing of your orgasm courses through you. He leans down into your arms right after, pressing tightly against your chest, so tight that you could feel his heartbeat pacing fast against yours. The kisses he gives you are soft and gentle, your thighs still trembling when he pulls away, pulling his grey t-shirt over his head.

The unmistakable shape of his erection that you feel brushing against your stomach lets you know just how turned on he is, and you equally so. His lips return to yours only after he has stripped himself, and your hands move from his shoulders to his chest, trailing down his naked skin, where you slide your fingers under the waistband of his boxers.

You lean forward, taking him into your hand. He’s heavy, full of cum, and you slide your body down so that your mouth is right against his cock. You leave a kitten lick on the underside of his shaft, feeling the veins and the way Chan throbs. He’s a pleasant weight on your tongue and you swirl it around the tip before sucking him into your mouth.

Still with your eyes on his face, you lean closer, kissing his sensitive tip before fitting your lips around the head, taking him into your mouth again. You hear him gasp before it turns into a deep groan, sucking and licking as you take him deeper.

Chan sighs, every time you inch down onto him you can feel his skin against your nose and hear the spit fucking back in your throat. Your eyes lose focus as Chan continues to rut into you, and your body buzzes from the sensation. You feel hot all over, allowing him to use you the way he wants. His low growl vibrates down to your core and you resist the urge to reach down and stroke your fingers to search for your own pleasure, choosing to focus on pleasing him instead.

His lips fall open with a few deep grunts escaping his soft lips, his hips moving faster as he pumps himself into your mouth. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum.”

"You are so beautiful," he sighs, his thumb brushes back and forth over your cheek, relishing the way your body leans into his touch. "You have no idea how many times I wished I could take you like this."

He traces down your panties, soaked with your arousal, running over the lace and moaning at the feeling of it clinging into your clit. His thumb follows the wet trail on the flimsy fabric to find your opening, hardly shielding you from his touch. He twists his hand while he continues to press his thumb in circles over your covered entrance, his fingers find your clit, and then he pinches, hard, sending you over the edge a second time and into one of the most intense orgasms you've ever had.

You squirm at the feeling of your release, his fingers slowly peeling the scrap of black lace down your thighs, making a show out of it while he makes you wait. He continues to tease you, staring you down as you slip your feet from them and he pulls them off. His eyes roam over your body, inhaling deeply, breathing you in. His lashes flutter, and the view of him taking you in so shamelessly makes you shudder.

He drops the fabric in the next moment, looming over you with hooded eyes, and leans down to leave a lingering kiss on your lips. He continues to kiss you as he spreads your legs apart, holding them down with heavy hands. His lips find your hips, then he moves down, running his tongue down your legs, taking time to trail along your thighs, your calves, your ankles, and keeping his eyes on you the whole time.

You let out a gasp at the first stroke of his tongue over your clit. Your legs lift a little, but Chan presses them back down, keeping you in place— keeping you right where he wants you.

You run a shaky hand through his hair as you cry out at the feeling of his tongue resuming its ministrations on your throbbing core. You can’t do much but moan and sigh, an incoherent mess from Chan’s mouth. It’s funny to you, how you started this but he has you shaking from under him, building you up and then breaking you down with immense pleasure— a feeling that you can barely think around.

You hear his soft chuckle as he gives you a few more kisses with his tongue, tasting you, before he looks up again and whispers, “Does that feel good?” He teases, unrelenting in showing you just how determined he is to make good of his words. His grip tightens on your thighs, as the swipes of his tongue grow more intensely. He sucks at your clit, pressing his tongue against you to send you into your second orgasm.

Your hips move desperately against his face, hopeless in your need for more. Chasing pleasure with each roll of your hips and his head buried in your heat. You spasm, shaking in pleasure as you cum, soaking his tongue with your release and closing him in with your thighs. He doesn’t stop, sucking your clit in his mouth and using his tongue to lap up every bit of your orgasm. You cry out in protest, your body squirming away from his touch as instinct but the grip on your thighs doesn’t let up.

“Chan please, oh god.”

His chest shakes with a chuckle, rising up and slotting himself between your thighs. You want him, more than anything, no matter what. He kisses the corner of your lips, smiling against your mouth. “I love you,” he sighs, and a smile crosses your face.

“I love you too.”

As he continues to litter kisses against your skin, he presses his cock against your clit, rubbing his hard length against you, coating himself with your arousal. The next time he pulls himself back from you, he only does it briefly— and when he pushes himself back it’s with a thrust into you hard and fast, nearly bringing you to another orgasm despite you just coming down from your previous one.

Your thoughts leave you as he continues to move in and out of you, filling you up and satisfying you the way he always does, but you manage to speak without realizing. “You make me so happy,” You whimper, and your walls contract as he slams into you deeper, lifting your legs and situating them against his shoulders. He buries himself so deep inside it’s almost like he’s melded himself into you. He’s so big, you can barely breathe, allowing him to bring pleasure to you both as he moves.

“Shit, Y/n.”

Even this moment feels too good to be true. To have him rocking against you, pulling you closer than anyone ever has. It feels like a dream.

Your words become nothing but a moan when his thrusts don’t falter and instead pick up. You don’t know how he’s managing to keep going, how he’s managed to move even quicker.

"Come on, baby," he whispers, clenching his jaw, letting you know that he’s on the brink of orgasm. Chan bends down, taking your lip into his mouth, making you sigh in bliss. Then his fingers come down to find your clit, sending you erupting into another orgasm.

The next thing you know Chan is groaning above you, his body going lax against you and his cum shooting into you forcefully, making you clench harder around him. Chan whimpers as he continues to cum, again and again, releasing into you and painting your walls.

“Oh Channie,” you sigh, “does it feel good?”

Chan nods, his hair brushing against your naked skin, and he presses a soft kiss against your collarbone. His lips rest there as you both come down from your high, basking in the glow of your orgasms and relishing in the presence of each other.

He pulls out of you, dragging his tip against your skin before littering kisses against your face. Small pecks that tickle with the gentle force of them, and you giggle, running a hand through his soft locks.

Your chest heaves with the force of your breaths but otherwise your body feels light, airy, and any negative thought you’d entertained before is completely gone. You didn’t need this to prove that he’s yours, to feel comfortable, but he’s shown you that he wants every part of you, and it fills you with an undeniable warmth.

“How is it that you’re this cute even after all this?” Chan murmurs.

“Shut up.”

You trace your fingers against his skin, tracking his breathing and basking in his warmth. Your fingers slide through the grooves in his abs, tracing shapes over his collarbone, and tweaking his nipple just for Chan’s barking of a laugh when he shoves you away saying that it tickles. You lean your forehead down so that it’s resting just near Chan’s armpit, hairless like usual, and inhale— breathing in his scent, his proximity, him. He's perfect, and he’s yours, no matter what.

You’ve always wished for the closeness and transparency of a trusting relationship— have always wondered if you’d be able to get that, if you’d be able to keep it— and Chan is proof that you have. It feels good to know that there are no secrets, no doubts or worries, and that there can only be acceptance between the both of you. A secureness that would be hard to find anywhere else. It fills you with butterflies, as if you and Chan had just started dating, —and though you have, you’ve been best friends for years— but it makes you incredibly happy to know that those feelings will remain, and you can only hope it'll stay that way forever and always.

When Chan runs his hand down your back, reaching below the covers to squeeze your ass, you huff, poking him in the chest as a warning. Yet you know, and Chan knows, that it makes you happy that you have this. A home, a loving boyfriend who loves you just as much as you love him, and a trusting relationship.

Chan likes this familiarity. Laying down with you, bare emotionally and physically, and unworried about being judged or ridiculed. It feels good, it satisfies him more than he ever thought it could, and makes a comfortable, warm, feeling bloom in his chest. He’s happy, he’s loved, and he inhales— taking in the scent of you, your proximity, your love, and he smiles.

6 years later

Fire crackles in the fireplace of your childhood home, the smell of baked goods wafting through the air and filling your nose with delectable goodness. It’s warm, yet the sweater you adorn only feels even more comforting— though the hand around your waist feels even more so.

In the kitchen your parents chatter with your other family members and with your friends, and in the background a christmas movie plays. A christmas tree stands tall in the living room, ornaments dangle from the branches and twinkle with the small gusts of wind from the heater. Stockings line the fireplace and pictures of you and your family decorate every surface around the house. Pictures of chan, too. Him as a child, you both as teenagers, pictures of you on the first day of college, on the day you graduated, at your first job, a picture of you both carrying keys to your first apartment, and a picture of you both under the altar.

The warm, fuzzy feeling that you first had when you and Chan had started dating has yet to disappear even after all these years. It’s still there every time you look at him, every time you hold his hand, every time he kisses you. You nuzzle into his chest and sway. There’s no song playing, only the sounds of the tv and your loved ones, but still you sway together.

The picture of romance you thought you’d never achieve, yet it’s so much more than that. It’s a completeness that fills your heart, a happiness that doesn’t go away even on your worst days, and the comfort of knowing that someone will be there after a long day— there to hold you and whisper their love to you. You’ve been surrounded by love all your life, but this love is something you never thought you’d have. You’d envied your parents for the fact that they’d achieved it, but now that you know what it feels like you can only be happy at the fact that they’d been so lucky. That you’re so lucky.

So, when did you fall in love?

You think you could most likely tie it back to when Chan first laid a kiss on your skin, cheeks flushed and eyes red with tears. Or, perhaps it was when he’d confessed his love to you, waxing poetic about the feelings that you thought were only yours to hold. Or, maybe it was when he took you into his arms for the first time, holding you with care and treating you as if you were something to be treasured.

Maybe it was before all of this. Maybe you still aren’t really in love, but the way your heart beats when he’s around, when he smooths his hands over your shoulders and tucks his head under your chin, or the way unshed tears brim at your eyes when you look at the ring on your finger, makes you think that maybe you’re in something much deeper than that.

a/n: 😭😭 as always i hope you all enjoyed and tysmm for reading <33 ily

mini taglist: ily all sm <;33 @itsisa @myjisung @raspbinniecreme @ughbehavior & @svintsandghosts (i can’t remember if u asked or not <33)

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Hello, can you do HC of the diasomnia boys with a vampire bat fae reader ? Thank you I hope you have a good day/night and don't forget to drink water

naur cuz this got deleted and it was almost complete man

I base this mostly on bat characteristics, and some on vampires... hopefully, its not weird because this is fun to write about! also I'm rlly sorry but I just didn't know how to write the reader eating flesh and human/fae blood and them not being scared/ grossed out LOL so have reader eating animal blood ...

reqs are open!

reader is gender neutral (and a little insane)

tw: eating animal blood, fangs, droppings (poop), eating insects

malleus draconia

🍉 how impressive. the way you’re able to locate your surroundings, even in total darkness irks him. tell him, is this an instinctual thing, or is it taught? malleus is more than curious to find out about your abilities.

🍉 you and him fly over NRC, with his magic and your skin-like wings, gracefully flying through the magical academy.

🍉 oh, you garden? what sort? bananas, avocados and mangoes…? how… specific. do give him a call when your harvest is ready. he’d love to taste some.

🍉 you’re interested with medicine? do him a favor and teach lilia some handmade medicine because liila’s work in the kitchen is always so abysmal, so please, for the sake of everybody in diasomnia, STOP HIM.

🍉 not only do you eat insects, you also suck blood? not human blood, he hopes. well, he’s not worried. surely, you wouldn’t dare attempt to take a bite out of him, would you? go on, he dares you to see what happens next.

🍉 oh, you eat animal blood? on one hand, he’s relieved, but a small part of him is disappointed. he doesn’t get to fight you, does he? for shame. 

lilia vanrouge

🍉 BESTIES AND TWINSIES FOR LIFE LET’S GOOOO

🍉 my, my, you certainly are a fast little thing, aren’t you? how do you feel about a race, little one? hmm, scared? why, whatever for? surely, a little old fae like himself isn’t so frightful looking, no~?

🍉 his nickname for you would be little pup! aren’t you just adorable, little pup, hmm? my, he can almost see a wagging tail! perhaps, he’s mistaken you for another species? 

🍉 he cracks up when he sees you lick yourself, and you have to (with shame) explain that yes, you ACTUALLY takes baths and this is just an embarrassing habit- can he please stop laughing…*sob*

🍉 an allergy to garlic AND vinegar, you say? hmm, well that’s unfortunate. lilia’s sad you can’t taste most of his dishes, as he puts quite the enormous amount of those things in them (it gives them flavor, you see)! be grateful that your days aren’t numbered, now.

🍉 speaking of unnumbered days, immortality! it’s a close subject to lilia’s heart, and if you wish to speak about it, do come to him. he knows a lot more than he lets on.

sebek zigvolt

🍉 your affinity to eating brings a smile to his face. see, faes DO eat a lot! that ramshackle prefect is an absolute buffoon! eating 4, no, 5 platters of food…are those insects?...well, no matter! if your diet suits you, then so be it!

🍉 he’s once seen you cackle and double over a fertilizer called guano and demand you tell him the joke and when you do… that’s another thing to be wary about. 

🍉 (but deep down, sebek wonders… does… does your droppings become rich fertilizers? it disgusts him to no end but also piques his interest… ASFLVNALSDF AHHHHH GREAT THORN WITCHHHHHH)

🍉 in the same note, sebek will bashfully ask if you have any food on hand (because you always do) because its really good.

🍉 no reflection? no wonder you look like such a mess. HARK, it will bring SHAME to lord malleus if you don’t clean yourself, so allow him to do it for you.

🍉 sometimes, you reek of blood and he allows himself to feel scared… until yu tell him that its just some raw animal you devoured… WAIT, SOME RAW ANIMAL YOU DEVOURED?!

silver

🍉 it saddens him to know that there aren’t many vampire bat faes for you to interact with. he does hope you’re able to bond with those that still live.

🍉 he’s the best to call when you need help preparing for hibernation during the cold winter months. he provides you plenty food before hand and his quiet and calm personality easily soothes you into slumber.

🍉 he understands and resonates deeply with your want to be with your colony as much as you can because he, too, has the urge to protect his.

🍉 you’re so speedy… tell him, how do you do it? is it with your flight, or did you train? if so, please, teach him how. maybe, he’ll be able to best sebek.

🍉 your inability to stand in sunlight greatly concerns the young knight, but does his best to cover for you (what a good guy!!!!).

🍉 ooh, your craving for blood… silver doesn’t show it, but he subtly lifts his guard around you now. not just for his sake, but for lord malleus and his… oh, it’s animal blood.

[holycartoonwarrior]

Not to be like, crazy self indulgent in with my headcanons. Like I’m aware this is kinda OOC but I rlly don’t care.

Like I like to think cuz stewy’s like insanely pent up abt the way he feels for Kendall and also because he’s like not rlly into the meaningless corporate talk and is kinda um BAD at metaphors — I LOVE stewy but head of a horse, dick of a swan isn’t winning any poetry awards — and tends to speak more literally. That sometimes he says something abt Kendall that is meant to be like just a reflection of how he feels, but it comes out so weird even Tom does a double take.

Like for example: Stewy relationship w food. He loves good food. Hes such a fucking gourmand abt it too. It’s like a reflection of his ability to enjoy things in his life beyond the corporate world, to not let it consume him in his misery, but it’s also like a reflection of his viciousness. The way he tears apart things for his consumption, the way he is shameless about how this industry has turned him into: a predator much like the animal metaphors used in the show, and someone rather devoid of morals in terms of work because he’s a parasite: he lives to feed. But yet it’s also a way he shares intimacy w Kendall, the way if he’s not talking abt work or drugs it’s food.

ANYWAYS MY POINT IS:

I feel like Tom and Stewy would be talking at a party and Tom’s like “oh, there goes your boy toy! Haha!“ when Kendall passes by w Naomi and Stewy like just is simmering in his Own bitterness.

And Tom’s like “oh cmon, you can do better than Kendall. If you need another drinking buddy I’m sure you got plenty of options, haha. “ being a shmuck making polite awkward ass convo and Stewys like not even looking at him anymore he’s just looking at Kendall LMAO. Which annoys tf out of Tom who regrets bringing him up and tries to move the convo along “Cmon let’s get something to eat. You know what you want?”

“Yeah, I do. Actually.”

“Okay cool.”

“ I wanna eat Kendall, piece by piece, then he won’t leave again.”

And he turns to look at Tom who is just like : 😟

LMAOOOO.

It’s not even THAT bad, Tom’s just being a fucking drama queen and also it’s the fact Stewy says it so nonchalantly and matter of fact like he says everything else. Which makes it so much weirder.

Tom is like “oh my GOD, what is wrong with you??” over the top to fuck w Stew just a lil cuz he’s a fucking dickhead, but also cuz WTF why would u say that

“It’s a metaphor”

“For what??”

“For- oh fuck off man; this is why shivs cheating on you.”

[haruhey]

chronological thoughts of 11x14

- okay so i heard there were some good caryl scenes in this episode so please please PLEASE deliver because i had a bad day today

- omg we’re back to the carlson storyline yes pls

- they just let them turn holy shit

- his hair is so structured omg it’s kinda fire?

- MAGGIE AND AARON AND LYDIA YES YES YES

- oh and elijah but who rlly cares

- CARYL CARYL CARYL

- daryl said ‘hi! 🥰’ and carol really said ‘hey! 🥰🥰’

- carol looks so good in the red omg

- ITS A DATE HELLO?? HELLO???

- aw not him being clowned by rosita for his donut love

- no not that fucking asshole i hate him

- i hate even the look of him omg

- oh no daryl’s gonna get into some trouble and miss their date isnt he

- YES SLEUTHING GIVE ME THE SPY MOVIE SHIT I LOVE IT

- NEGANNNNNN

- wait am i lowkey a negan stan ??

- LYDIA ITS UR DAD

- HEY KIDDO???? HEY KIDDO??? IM LOSING MY SHIT

- that is such a shitty hiding place omg

- omg i love negan and annie’s friendship they’re so cute

- oh no i feel bad about this

- man fuck this prick i hate him

- you want CASH???

- YEAH BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DESERVED IT

- man fuck this guy so much FUCK THIS GUY

- DONT HURT THEIR KIDS

- YES DARYL YES DAD DARYL PROTECTIVE DARYL DAD DARYL IM LOSING MY SHIT GOD HES SO COOL

- I HATE THIS PRICK SO FUCKING MUCH

- assassination plot for this prick i don’t even know his name and i hate him

- did they send someone in there already omg

- THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

- OH MY GOD NEGAN AND ANNIE ARE MARRIED THEYRE NOT JUST FRIENDS OMG

- period lydia speak facts only

- NO THEY HAVE HERSHEL

- HES JUST A KID

- omg negan to the rescue

- omg annie’s pregnant

- oh my god why am i liking negan no no no no no i hate it here nooooo

- wait i kinda like annie’s perspective on negan

- negan please reflect on urself

- okay wait this episode is making me feel for negan

- i hope when he looks at hershel’s face he sees glenn and feels terrible

- OH MY GOD HERSHEL????

- NEGANNNNNNNN

- no no no no no no no no negan is genuinely sorry for what he did i hate this i hate him i hate him omg why do I FEEL BAD FOR HIM NOOO

- i feel like i’m going through an identity crisis rn omg

- DARYL DARYL DARYL DARYL DARYL DARYL

- i have sUCH A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS

- BADASS DARYL

- daryl lowkey has bad form omg my decade of taekwondo and karate r cringing

- oh no oh no oh no

- JUST FUCKING CUT THE WIRE ROSITA HOLY SHIT

- get april to get the money omg daryl you guard the door

- oh god no not the gunshots

- MERCER AND CAROL SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP CUMMING PISSING SHITTING

- carol saving her bf <3

- gut up and go just fun date tingz for my middle aged parents <33

- someone hold bestie april’s hand omg she is literally going THROUGH it rn

- THEY ARE SO FUCKING COOL

- omg no i thought they were gonna show rosita bit omg

- daryl has 0 guts on him omg

- omg how convenient for maggie and annie to overhear

- oh no oh no oh no

- is carlson drinking

- oh god oh my god oh god

- I TOLD YOU IT WAS A SHIT HIDING PLACE

- decoy decoy decoy

- oh yeah its that specific effect where, as a character gets progressively more insane, their hair gets messier so we as the audience can understand where they are mentally as of this moment

- yes slay everyone

- YES THATS WHAT HE DESERVED

- YES EVERYONE ELSE EAT HIM EAT HIM EAT HIM

- periodt

- its kinda evil but like slay

- woah woah woah woah woah mercer okay slay ig

- why do daryl and i have the SAME HAIR this is so camp

- I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE STORYLINE COMING WHERE MERCER TURNS ON THE COMMONWEALTH

- why dont u just like… kill sebastian idk that prick needs to GO

- I FUCKING HATE HIM IM GONNA GO ON A RANT NOW BECAUSE I ATTEND A PREDOMINANTLY MALE PROGRAM AND I MEET GUYS LIKE THIS ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND THEY ACT AS IF THEY DESERVE THE BEST AND THAT THEY OWN EVERY SPACE THEY WALK INTO WHILE I LITERALLY QUESTION MY WORTH EVERY TIME I MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST MISTAKE AS IF I HAVENT WORKED HARD TO GET TO WHERE I AM AND IM NOT ATTENDING THIS SCHOOL ON SCHOLARSHIPS I WORKED MY ASS OFF GETTING LIKE PEOPLE LIKE SEBASTIAN LITERALLY MAKE MY BLOOD FUCKING BOIL

- anyways wistem

- omg carol carol carol carol

- hornsby was in on it omg

- fucking loan sharks stfu

- literally miss me with this system bullshit this is why people wanted to fuck the government in the first place THIS IS HOW PEOPLE REVOLT YOU FUCKING I D I O T S

- yes carol yes girlboss gaslight him

- carol fr is not into this

- i love it when carol manipulates yes i love it when women do bad things

- omg negan and hershel wwe fight to the death colosseum gladiator style

- not another fucking group guys i cannot deal with this istg if another group gets introduced im gonna lose it

- unless its that one group that rick is in?? MAYBE??

- ooo flashback

- IS IT PEOPLE WHO GOT EXILED FROM COMMONWEALTH MAYBE??

- oh fuck off its leah

- oooo we finally got to the maggie daryl beef

- honestly if i was daryl and grew up the way daryl grew up (EVEN IF I DIDNT) and ultimately fell into being the gaurdian of my BEST FRIENDS’ kids, i would put a knife up to that fucker’s neck too if he threatened them like wtf that’s such a shitty thing to do

- i keep forgetting how shiny gabriel’s little head is

- im sorry i really dislike leah im not excited

[that-thing-that-feeling]

I mean Jonathan will automatically get more screen time since ST doubled the amount of available screen time this season. And since Jonathan is finally the leader of a gang instead of being relegated to Nancy’s sidekick (even tho I will die on the hill that Jonathan is sooo much more useful than the fandom gives him credit for, Nancy may be a boss bitch but none of her crazy ass plans would have worked w/o him ☕️) and that gang includes Mike, Will, a new comedic character, and eventually El– I think that’s a really good sign. The trailers are not an exact indicator of screen time, esp when it comes to Jonathan and Nancy. The trailer is just a bunch of clips put together to attract interest. If the trailers were actually reflective of screen time, El and Hopper would’ve been in it more than Steve was.

Also I would not at all be worried abt Stancy. Steve is projecting onto her a little since he’s still single and she’s there and Jonathan isn’t, but she is still very much in love with Jonathan, and Steve knows that. The writers may have their faults, but even they’re not fan-servicey enough to force Nancy and Steve back together just bc Robin didn’t work out as a love interest. Jancy are going through a bit of a rough patch since they’re so far apart and each separately going thru insane physical and emotional turmoil they refuse to tell the other abt, but they’re together by the end of the season. They have always been endgame. Whenever you get annoyed by Stancies preemptively gloating abt Stancy “getting back together” just remember that their only moments are platonic in her eyes, and even tho Steve spends a significant portion of the season hung up on her, a girl he dated a year+ ago who only continued dating him bc she didn’t think Jonathan was interested, at the end of the season Jonathan and Nancy are happily reconciled and ready to spend s5 side by side once again. But also mark my words Jonathan and Steve will become besties in s5, along with Argyle.

Yeah no I def think we will be seeing Jonathan going through different things and it will be great to see him interact with Will and Mike and Argyle (and I hope too Joyce and El). Idk how it will work with screentime, but I def hope they give him more to do (and the Cali plot sets up more). Re: stancy I do think they’ll tease it (as they do in the trailer). I also wonder if jancy are in communication at all to know that they’re going through v different things, or what nancy would think of Jonathan’s changes. I agree they’ll prob be in a rough patch bc of not communicating, so the reunion will be interesting. I’d love to see Jonathan and Steve interact before this show ends but we’ll see if that rlly happens in s5 lol.

[kiloxy]

Analysis: WHY DREAM IS ACTUALLY BLONDE GEORGE!

NOW DON’T SCROLL AWAY JUST YET!

Listen Guys I have come up with the greatest theory/analysis of my life. Twitter could NEVER. This is about to solidify me as one of the lead big brain theorists on tumblr, cross my heart..... *cough* shit-poster *cough* I mean what? anyway... This analysis includes lots of receipts! Now let’s begin me launching my 1000000000 IQ career faster than Dream can MLG water out of this damning post. 

Tw: Close up of eyes since I zoomed in images of their eyes as proof. It will be under the cut.

So let me start with the question everyone has asked: WHO IS DREAM?!?

He’s the mysterious lime green, tea kettle sounding, god level skill, 10000 IQ, pissbaby enigma that took the internet BY STORM. He has grown so fast and so quick it’s insane, big brain plays must be through the roof. We could wonder how he did this... Why he did this.... But really. All we should care about is WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!!?!

Excuse my language... But anyway.. I have been working DAY AND NIGHT. To figure this out for you guys. It’s been 78 hours of no sleep. After escaping Dream’s basement (smart ass found out I was going to expose him) I have finally made it to a computer to post this...   

Dream is Blonde George

Okay wait wait wait! Before you go leave, screaming and appalled, slamming the button to unfollow my broke ass, hear me out. 

First point... What the fuck is blonde George?

THIS MAN. REMEMBER HE BLEW UP?!?! WHY DID HE? WHY??? I mean we hate him! Well the only reasonable explanation is that he was a PLANT!

Yes that’s right, blonde George was a plant. This is actually Dream. Now Dream loves chaos, he’s even mentioned before he may make a stan account/pose as a cosplayer and I think this was his way...He leaked this photo of him on twitter to fuck with us. To test the waters before the Mr.Beast video where he might reveal himself as blonde George. 

Only Dream and his 1000000 IQ could blow up a post like this guys, think about it! 

OKAY TIME FOR THE REAL PROOF:

We know Dream’s hair color okay, look at this twitter post where he does a hair color reveal:

POST HERE

Now let’s take a closer look. Here’s Dream’s hair:

Rest of the analysis under the cut includes more analyzed images, links, and video as proof:

Now I took to an eyedropper and examined Blonde George’s hair and got:

LOOK HOW CLOSE THE NUMBERS ARE!  AND WE KNOW NUMBERS DON’T LIE! The more samples I took of blonde George’s hair and compared to Dream’s the clearer it became... Their hair... Is the same! 

Now that we have the hair matching what else can we figure out? I mean Dream said he had green eyes, we even have a pic here of them. 

But I ask you.... Dream’s smart. You really think he’s telling the truth? I mean think of the the vlog incident. Man is a liar. 

I introduce to you a concept: CONTACTS

You see Dream knew that blonde George would get a lot of traction (he wanted it to). But he didn’t want to be outed too fast. I mean blonde white dude? blowing up on twitter? Obviously traceable back to Dream. So change one of his most distinct features, his eyes! He is wearing brown contacts. I have proof, let’s look at blonde Gog again. uSING MY EXPENSIVE HIGH TECH EQUIPMENT I-

ENHANCE ENHANCE ENHANCE!

I mean first just looking at this you can see the odd white glare on his eye... Now that is not your usual eye glare, no... That’s an eye glare that shows what it looks like when light reflects off a contact lens. He is wearing contacts! 

But if that isn’t enough for you I cleaned up the photo of blonde George’s eye using mad skillz I learned from crime shows and got:

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! CLEARLY A CONTACT LENS AND A CHEAP ONE TOO! LOOK HOW ARTIFICIAL IT IS IN THIS CLEAR ZOOMED IN PICTURE OF BLONDE GEORGE’S EYE THAT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A PHOTO OF A RANDOM WOMAN I FOUND WITH A CONTACT. 

Dream put in brown contacts! Why else would this “blonde George” be wearing contacts huh??? We know real George has 100% real gorgeous brown eyes. 

Now you may be saying, well that’s just an edited photo of legit George. We have the real photo of George.  But no, it’s not! THAT’S WHAT DREAM WANTS YOU TO THINK SHEEPLE, WAKE UP!

Dream put on a red hoodie, styled his hair to look like George, and he posed just right so it looks like it’s an edited version of that photo of Gog. But it’s not! We can tell by the contacts! Also George would never exude the off vibes blonde George does. It doesn’t pass the vibe check. 

Now while there are so many other bits of proof... This is getting long and I want to wrap it up. So here’s one last big bit of proof. 

THIS VIDEO OF THE SCUFFED PODCAST AT 15:37

They talk about blonde George and, George claims it is photoshopped but he smiles nervously. And as he pulls up blonde George Dream does his nervous laugh. Why is he nervous? Why would he be nervous?? about this “meme”. Maybe because he’s scared to be found out,

Now the most important part:

“I don’t rlly like it tbh.”- Gog.

“Uhhh I don’t like it.”-Dream.

Now you may have brushed past this upon viewing, but.... Nobody asked for Dream’s opinion. This was supposed to be about GEORGE why would Dream input his opinion and speak like it’s about him... BECAUSE IT IS HIM

Now the most damning of all... 16:50 same video.

“Dream have you like ever done a face reveal or no?”-??

Dream HESITATES 

“No- I haven’t yet. I do plan on doing one but I haven’t yet.”

As he speaks his words get more rushed and quiet, he’s lying. He’s nervous.

Then George saving him, redirects the topic completely off blonde George and Dream immediately jumps on the new topic eager to switch focus. It’s so weird how fast they move the topic, the clearly don’t want to talk about it. George is a good friend, he knew that Dream was scared and needed an out of the conversation before he outed himself as blonde George. 

But... they couldn’t keep the ruse up.... BECAUSE I AM HERE! 

I see you Dream and your 10000000 IQ. HE THOUGHT HE COULD CONTAIN ME, CONTAIN THE TRUTH. BUT I- BREAKING GENESIS CAN NOT BE STOPPED. I ESCAPED HIS BASEMENT JUST FOR THIS FUCKING POST! IT WAS MANHUNT, I SPEEDRAN THIS SHIT. I BET HE’S LOOKING FOR ME NOW.

*cough* Anyway, now my very very last point. 

Why haven’t we ever seen Dream and Blonde George in a room together huh? It’s weird right?? They can’t coexist separately because THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. IT’S SO OBVIOUS! 

If this grade A++++, wagyu quality, meaty with receipts analysis wasn’t enough to convince you then.... I am going to hack into Mr.Beast’s content. I am on my way to his house as I type this... Next post I am LEAKING images from the shoot when Dream drops the sign that will SHOW that he is in fact Blonde George. 

If you have more proof.... Anything to add... react... or respond to this analysis. My inbox is open.

Wish me luck, I honed my hacker skillz just for this. You may not be able to trust Dream, but you can trust me! Hopefully I can do this before Dre catches me again. 

o7 bois 

[itachis]

ー CREATOR TAG MEME;

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by: @kiyomie (thank uu cristen <333)

kags bday edit: i finally colored smth after awhile!! i tried out a new style while doing n i feel like it acc turned out better i thought 👀 (tho it was kinda rushed since i was working on the secret santa gift at the same time so yea hsjs)

bnha ep3: this was acc my first try at making an episode edit w /that/ kind of format? i was rlly scared that it wouldn't look nice but when i put all the gifs together it surprisingly fit so yay lol 😅 (also i spent like over an hour trying to decide which scenes to gif so im glad it turned out good hashjs)

junpei set: there isn't anything special abt this set,, its just that this was the jjk ep that junpei was properly introduced in, i was so happy 😔😔 i rmb rlly rushing n fast forwarding thru the ep so i could gif all the scenes he was in,, i wanted to be the first to post a set for him LMAO

when marnie was there set: my first (and only lol) time giffing a movie in this format...it took forever, there were too many scenes i wanted to put in (but ended up cutting cuz they didn't look nice sigh) i kid u not i also spent 20 mins on just the positioning DJFJF ;_; tho in the end i think it turned out alright!! (its also among my fav ghibli movies so i kind of had a constant smile on my face while giffing 😂)

sakuatsu edit: this edit for hqweek!! omg...honestly im proud of this coloring, esp atsumus hair (tho i originally wanted to make 9 icons but i ran out of time oop) plus its sakuatsu (im insane abt them) so its automatically one of my fav edits lolol

tagging: @tcmiokas, @akaashikeji, @zuura, @frailuta, @yosanosano, @touyax, @suzouyas, @beekugou, @mafuyuh, @kiroz, @sapphitedreams, @feativen, @sakuatsu, @celiabowens, @elriccs, @miyamour, @khunssi, @gojosattoru, @naoamaya, @hanae-ichihara, @kikisdeliveryservices, @p-irozhki, @reddoriot, @wakatshi.

[rro-bots]

NOR TO PICK THE OBVIOUS CHOICE BUT. izuru kamukura fpr the character thing lol

ITS COMPLETELY FINE TO SAY IZURU i have many thoughts abt him sorry if this is long

favorite thing about them: this is actually a rlly hard question for me but probably it’s the fact that underneath all the talent and the procedures hes gone thru he’s still ultimately human. also i find his rudeness endearing and funny

least favorite thing about them: hmm maybe hope peaks academy programming him into hating talentless people ? also partially his ego at times. aside from that i dont rlly have a lot i dislike abt him tho

favorite line: probably “something that has been born, acknowledged, and lived life can’t be denied its existence” during his utdp event with syo since while it’s in relation to syo he’s also talking about himself to a certain degree and i think it reflects how he thinks of himself ? idk. dude has intense identity issues but he still thinks of himself as a person at the bare minimum, even as he still believes he is a tool to be used by hpa (and then again by junko in the canon timeline). heem. also i like his interactions with kaede in their utdp event.

brotp: kaede and izuru will forever make me insane. their utdp is my favorite interaction of all of izurus events and aside from nanami this is THE nicest he had treated anybody. also i love kaede. another choice is izuru and the survivors and izuru and nanami although i have a Lot of thoughts behind both of those and dont wanna make this insanely long LOL

otp: this is fairly obvious but kamuegi!! kamuegi honestly just makes sense to me especially in a post-game scenario. not only would naegi’s luck interest kamukura (since as junko has stated, its unpredictable) i also think his similarities to nanami and his way of utilizing hope would intrigue him. also!! i think he wouldnt understand naegis logic behind giving him a second (or third) chance which (mirroring his confusion with junkos actions) would also interest him. i think this could eventually lead to kamukura unintentionally falling for naegi LOL especially as in a post-game scenario i think he’d feel/be alienated from the other survivors. i think naegi would be really good for him especially as they have common traumas and could try and heal together.

notp: an unpopular choice but kamu/koma makes me incredibly uncomfortable, id prefer not to get into it

random headcanon: he’s autistic with comorbid adhd :] i feel like he’d be very understimulated a lot and wld be hyposensitive to a lot of things except maybe touch. i have a lot of reasons for this but a lot of this is mostly just projection chdkxjdk also!! i hc him as agender (or genderfluid) pan and ace and that he uses she/he/they pronouns

unpopular opinion: hm. i think its weird that people make izuru straight up cruel and have him torture or kill a bunch of people out of boredom when in canon its . the exact opposite lol. i know a lot of ppl dont consider dr3 good and all but i honestly do think his actions in it make sense in regards to the little bit of character we’ve seen before in chapter 0 and in utdp. also ik utdp isnt Canon but its the most canon izuru we get outside of chapter 0 that isnt just hearsay from junko.

song i associate with them: es by crying or read my mind by j fernandez (and many many more)

favorite picture of them:

maybe this one?? idk any of his appearances in dr3 are endearing to me but this one looks vaguely puppy-ish to me

[xianglingslesbian]

ewbts - my top moments

no i will never stop laughing at that abbreviation it’s beautiful. buckle in because this is gonna be long, and probably don’t read it unless you’ve watched/read kuroko’s basketball and like izuki lmaoooo

chapter 1: hatchling, awaken

Izuki swallows. “Why do you all think I can do this?”

Then Kiyoshi turns to him with steel in his eyes (that must be how he got nicknamed Iron Heart - he seriously never backs down!) and asks him very clearly, “Why don’t you?”

Why don’t I think I can be captain?

“Because nobody thought I could be until now.”

aka “ceru is a masochist”, exhibit 1/???. anyway lets hear it for insecurities!!

chapter 2: liftoff

Predictably, Kuroko drags him aside at practice the next day and says, “I have something to tell you, Izuki-senpai.”

Izuki smiles at him. “Is it about your five evil exes?”

Kuroko looks horrified. “My what?!”

i think im funny

chapter 3: crash landing

As Izuki walks off the court, he looks for flashing glasses and grey eyes.

He curses himself for the heavy sadness that falls over him like a blanket when he doesn’t spot them.

yay for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 2!

Oh, he [Izuki] watched videos of Aomine, came up with strategy after strategy to corner him, but videos and strategies can only go so far. Aomine in real life is something else entirely, a flash of lightning setting the court on fire with the sheer elegance of his crazy street basketball. All one can do is sit back and watch, awed beyond belief. Nothing can curb the wild madness that is Aomine Daiki – unrestrained, gleeful insanity dancing across the court like it’s his playground.

i also rlly like this line, it has some pretty imagery and we all know im a slut for pretty imagery~

chapter 4: a broken bone grows back stronger

“All right,” Koganei says to himself, moving to stand in front of the hoop. “One more time.”

He jumps, raising the ball to just above his face and releasing it. It misses, and he lets out a cry of frustration.

Can he even do this? Is it worth the time?

Koganei bites back the wave of guilt that washes over him at the thought. Izuki, Kiyoshi, Tsuchida, Rinnosuke, Kagami, Kuroko – he’d be letting them down if he didn’t give this his best shot. They’re all so dedicated to basketball that they each have a special skill honed from years of practice and love for the sport. If he can’t bring anything of his own to the table, what will he mean to this team? Seirin makes him want to be a team player, to add his skills to theirs rather than shining on his own. The change is good, yes, but he doesn’t want to stop there – he doesn’t want to be useless.

He will not be useless.

a bit of context: in this fic, since hyuuga did not return, koga became the SG for seirin :D i think my favorite character to develop, apart from izuki, was koganei - it was so fun to imagine all the ways he could have gone!

chapter 5: spreading new wings

All too soon, the day of judgment arrives, and Seirin convenes in the gym one last time before they head off to the Winter Cup building. No one says anything; not Kagami, fresh from his training trip to America, not Izuki, not Kiyoshi or Riko. They simply stand there, breathing in the scent of cleaner and leather and something else that’s so entirely Seirin, and knowing that no matter what happens this Winter Cup, they will return to the gym different people than they were before.

Different, and better.

Then they head out and off to the opening ceremony of the Winter Cup, not looking back once as they do.

yay for more pretty words!!!

“Oh, no worries. The actual motivational part is coming. Anyway, as I was saying – Tōō was just better than us that day. It’s hard to admit, I know: far easier to blame yourself, say you didn’t give it your all, but you know; we all know. It was their day to shine, not ours. But I think we’ve worked hard enough and are in a good enough mindset to change that, today. We aren’t scared or apprehensive about Tōō and Aomine, because we’ve faced them before. We know what attitude they’ll walk into our game with, and that’s what we’re going to exploit!”

“You’re going to exploit,” corrects Tsuchida. “Unlike you, the rest of us aren’t manipulative bastards.”

That raises a bunch of cackles, which quiet down when Izuki gives his team a glare. It doesn’t work on Riko, however, who sniggers under her breath and smirks at him.

izuki highkey sucks at pep talks lmao

chapter 6: ride the storm

Kagami and Aomine were made for each other. Made for this rivalry, this intense competition that will push them to their very limits and carry them onto a plane that no ordinary human can reach. Neither can defeat the other per se - they’re destined to stand neck and neck forever. However, one has a trump card on his side; and that trump card can make all the difference in the world.

Aomine Daiki may be strong, but Kagami Taiga is just as good. And damn him if the power of Kagami’s determination coupled with Kuroko’s unshakeable support won’t overwhelm the undisputed king of basketball.

Move aside, light bulb, Izuki thinks vindictively. The tube light is here to replace you.

pretty words. gay words. i love them (aokaga + izuki being a salt man lmao).

chapter 7: eagle versus aegis

“So bitter,” he [Izuki] reflects aloud, answering Himuro’s question.

That’s the emotion in his eyes. That’s what I might have become, if I had let my anger grow.

And suddenly he isn’t seeing Himuro Tatsuya anymore, but a version of himself, a version with darkened eyes and a mocking smile and pain and rage bubbling below the surface. Immensely talented, but not able to break the last barrier. Because he’s an ordinary man, and it’s as much as an ordinary man can do.

Strong, so strong. But also so terribly, heartbreakingly weak. Weak in a way that today’s Izuki Shun will never be.

GOD where do i even start w/this scene its literally everything i’ve ever wanted to write ksjfhsfj

chapter 8: clawing through mirages

Izuki’s taken aback for a millisecond before he continues his mad dash towards Murasakibara, letting out a war cry as the center makes to simply toss the ball into the hoop.

“It wasn’t their intention,” says a quiet but familiar voice. “But, this is the result of Kiyoshi-senpai and the other upperclassmen’s tenacity.”

Izuki grins, feeling new strength fill him up.

Together, huh? Okay. Together.

“This is where it ends for you!” shouts the voice, becoming stronger.

Not one, but two hands knock the ball out of Murasakibara’s hands and onto the ground. Kuroko shimmers into vision, smiling at Izuki with all the happiness in the world, just as the final buzzer rings.

i loved writing this match tbh, yousen is super underrated!

chapter 9: catch the updraft

21 - 22, in their favour at long last. Izuki grins at Kasamatsu, who shakes his head wearily.

“Using my own advice against me. What a terrible student you are,” he says, affecting an old man’s voice.

“The true student is the one who beats the master at his own game,” Izuki says quickly, sliding back into their familiar banter. “I swore to myself, my drive would beat your drive today, kitakore.”

“When did you get so wise?” asks Kasamatsu with a sigh, ignoring his pun and receiving the ball from Kobori, who was quick to grab it once Koga scored. Izuki just laughs, not bothering to reply and instead focusing carefully on Kasamatsu’s movements.

Kasamatsu shifts his weight right, left, then right again. Izuki narrows his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell his upperclassman is doing—

But it’s far too late, as Kasamatsu successfully passes through his defence in his moment of distraction, ball clutched tightly in hand. The sound of the scoring whistle is shrill and unpleasant to Izuki’s ears, and his chest stings at the loss.

“What was that about the main course?” Kasamatsu teases, wearing an enormous grin as he comes forward to guard Izuki once more. 

izuki + kasamatsu banter is so so fun to write y’all have no idea

chapter 10: headwinds

This is your fault. If you’d been a better captain, a better point guard, a better everything, none of this would’ve happened. Seirin would have been well in the lead and controlling the game—

Izuki shakes his head violently, trying to get rid of his intrusive thoughts. He knows he’s a good captain, and doing this to himself will do no good for the rest of the team. He has to be strong for them. He has to lead them to victory, he can’t be a weak person overwhelmed by emotion. But it’s so hard to breathe, suddenly, and Izuki’s about to sink when—

“Don’t worry, Captain. I’ll take care of this match today,” says a confident and familiar voice, and a hand claps down on Izuki’s shoulder. He turns, a little surprised by the sudden contact, to find Koganei’s cat mouth set in a determined frown. “You can rest your hopes on me. I’ll be Seirin’s wings for as long as you need me to.”

kogazuki brotp feels man. kogazuki brotp feels.

chapter 11: cliff edge

Riko nods, sobering up a little. “I do know. And… I have to admit, I was a little harsh on you in the early days… I kept comparing you to Hyūga-kun.” She looks at the ground briefly, then raises her head to continue, meeting Izuki’s eyes with no hint of doubt in her own brown irises. “But then I saw how different you were. How you were never willing to give up, even if you were the worst player in the world. That’s what… that’s what made me truly believe in you.” She swallows thickly, taking a deep breath, but not averting her gaze from his.

The honesty and trust in her eyes is what shatters Izuki’s calm.

He steps forward, and she rises too, opening her arms. Then he hugs her tightly, murmuring, “Thank you for having faith in me.”

The “Of course. You’re family,” that she whispers back fills Izuki’s already overflowing heart even further.

Eventually, he lets her go, and she drops lightly to the ground, straightening her sweater and skirt.

“We never speak of this,” Izuki warns her, moving towards the door of the room.

Riko nods, back to her usual haughty demeanour. “Of course. No one can know we’re actually big softies who care a lot for each other.”

“To them, we’re just sarcastic jerks,” Izuki agrees. “And that’s the way it stays.”

anyone said izuriko brotp???? this fic is just platonic feels tbh

chapter 12: overcast skies

What should I do? Someone tell me! the voice cries out in Izuki’s head, a voice he hasn’t heard since the loss to Tōō. It is the same voice that whispers all his insecurities in his ear in the dead of night when no one is around to reassure him, the same voice that gave rise to all his fears and worries. It is the voice of the vulnerable and weak part of Izuki, the one that needs someone to guide him with a gentle hand, and he hates it.

It is a voice that, frankly, he never thought he would hear again. Yet, here it is, crying out for attention, screaming for someone to help.

He thought he had left it behind. It turns out he was wrong.

Izuki shoves it deep into his heart with more effort than he’s exerted all game, breathing a heavy sigh when he succeeds in locking it behind the glass wall that keeps his emotions away.

let’s hear it for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 3~

chapter 13: nosedive

“I don’t know who you are,” Koganei completes his little speech, anger brimming in every part of his being. “But I know that my captain is Izuki Shun, not Akashi Seijūrō. The coach can bench you if she likes; we can fight without our captain, because we know he wants us to win for his sake. We’ve been fighting without him all the match, and we can continue doing so. We don’t need a player that can’t play with the same passion as us!”

Izuki looks at the ground and doesn’t respond. Somewhere within, something is stirring at Koganei’s words. Something that cries out to fill the gap inside him.

Next to speak is Kiyoshi, standing up and executing much the same move as Koga had by yanking Izuki up by his collar. However, Kiyoshi pulls Izuki into a standing position so that Izuki is half-leaning against him.

Brown eyes meet black, and Kiyoshi simply states, “I didn’t expect this from you, Shun.”

Then he rears his fist backwards and punches Izuki in the jaw.

“ceru is a masochist” exhibit 4!

chapter 14: bird of prey

“I just… I didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

Koganei’s head shoots up. There’s fury in his eyes, and his face is white. His hands are shaking.

Izuki continues, calm and careless as he always is, “Really… after you gave me all that talk at halftime? I don’t believe this is you.”

Koganei’s jaw clenches, and he cries, “But I have done everything I can! He’s just too good—”

“And when has that ever stopped you?” Izuki keeps his voice quiet and even, but it has the gravity he intended it to - Koga falls silent immediately, eyes wide and riveted on him. “When have you ever backed down from fighting? You don’t know the meaning of giving up. You’ve never cared about whether someone’s better than you. I knew a shooting guard once, just like you, and he had the potential to be the greatest in the world. He was held back because he cared that he was worse than others. But you? You never blinked at it, just practised and practised until you could do the impossible.”

His words are getting louder with pride; he’s unable to keep it steady with the outpouring of emotion in his speech.

“Tell me, who can master Ray Allen’s form in one and a half years? Who can be such a rookie at basketball, yet be able to fight an Uncrowned King and respond to a shot that has left all its previous victims unable to move?!” Izuki leans forward and jabs a finger into Koganei’s chest demandingly. “Tell me, who the hell was that?!”

“Me,” Koga whispers timidly, looking down.

ahhhh yay for more platonic comfort and bonding. *izuki voice* yelling is the way to get ur team to get their shit tgt

chapter 15: born to soar

Izuki finds himself moving, barely thinking as he grabs the ball and bawls for an attack. He’s running faster than he ever has, flying up the court like there are wings on his legs. No one follows at his pace - they’re all too far behind.

No one but Kiyoshi.

The rhythm beats louder than ever, a heavy pulse in Izuki’s head and heart. He can feel Akashi on his heels and knows he needs to do something.

One second left—

Izuki’s hands move on their own, passing the ball to the one person he knows that he will always find.

Kiyoshi catches it and jumps.

Fortyfivethirtyfivetwentyfivefifteen—

The ball leaves his hands.

Fivezero—

The whistle blows to end the game. Kiyoshi’s shot hits the backboard and drops straight into the basket. Time stops as a shrill sound screeches into the air and the ref shouts, “124 to 123, Seirin High wins the Winter Cup!”

there we go. the most heartwrenching scene of this chapter ahhhhh

chapter 16: final flight

“We should go. Don’t want to keep them waiting too long,” Kiyoshi says, staring daggers at Hyūga, who to his credit doesn’t flinch but merely stares back.

“Let’s go, then,” Izuki agrees. He looks straight at Hyūga and allows a small, formal smile to play on his lips. Hyūga just nods, accepting the answer.

Izuki nods back, then turns around and starts walking away. But even as he moves toward the exit, something weighs heavily in his tired chest. For the first time in a long time, he isn’t confident in his decision.

Acting on impulse, he turns on his heel and yells out, “Call sometime, maybe!” before walking backwards out the door that Kiyoshi holds for him.

It’s an open-ended suggestion. Hyūga can choose to wallow and ignore it, or he can choose to pick up the phone. Izuki isn’t going to do so either way - he’ll be happy if Hyūga makes that call, but he won’t be terribly sad if he doesn't.

This time, he’s going to be the one that walks forward without looking back.

ahhh okay so this scene means a hella lot to me personally because... i had to grow, the way izuki grew. izuki’s now strong enough to sort of put the olive branch out and say, “take it or leave it,” and if it’s left he’s not gonna be upset. that’s something i really learned with a lot of difficulty and i think that that growth - in both me and him - is a lovely thing.

and there we have it! my favorite moments from each chapter of this story. *cries in a corner* god i can’t believe it’s over...

THANK YOU FOR THE JOURNEY!