#the realization that they'd have lost this AGAIN must've hit so hard. so painfully

[but-a-humble-selfshipper]

I think it's time for me to ramble a bit about Jack and L.L.'s negative/complex side of the relationship B4 going to bed bc whatever -_-

Like I always focus on L.L.'s reaction to it because to be fair it's a fucking Lot. They left for a few days, maybe just some weeks, and now everyone is dead or changed drastically (except Matt I guess). It'd be jarring it'd be dizzying it'd be disorienting.

But what about Jack's half of it? It'd be pretty conflicting in a depressing way. I mean just like Dave they HAD disappeared all those years ago and what are they doing now just waltzing right back in? Except it was nothing like Dave's because ended in kind of bad terms with him (definitely worsened with time) and had even tried to get rid of him directly, twice, but L.L. just... Disappeared. One day up and vanished and it made no sense. His options were literally either to believe they'd somehow went and died somewhere or just decided to abandon the people they loved because... They, didn't?

But even if he'd find an explanation what did it matter? It was one year, then two, then five, then ten, then then 35 whole fucking years and he'd not heard a peep from them. He lost his brother (again), his sister in law, his boyfriend AND his best friend. The house slowly fell more cold and silent. From having breakfasts in family or homemade lunch breaks filled with laughs and warm nights safe around the arms of someone who loved you to... Nothing. Just like all those years before he met Dave or L.L. or found Peter again.

And he didn't want to miss Dave, he refused! He was mad at Dave, but was he... Mad at L.L. too? I mean it sure would've been easier. Would have been easy to simply forget them too. And he thought he was doing a good job until out of nowhere they... Simply show up again.

And it's this array of emotions from seeing someone who you had to learn to live without appear again but it's also the need to push those emotions back too because reality just fell on their head and the color on their face is gone and they're shaking, and it's the realization that you still care.

It'd just be so hard. Very clearly possible to reclaim what once was, but it'd be a battle because the gap is felt for both, L.L. feeling it thru Jack's changes.