#the rage of having to relive these moments in third person because you're in literal hell
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#I've been playing returnal today#it's 1am and i can't stop thinking about one specific moment that i had with the game#it was completely unintended because i misunderstood the situation#I was in a scene late in the game#i was missing a lot of context because i got there in my second run and im pretty sure you're not supposed to do that#but anyway#the game is about an endless cycle of death that the protagonist is trapped in#unable to scape the cycle nor the planet the protagonist is in a constant state of grief and regret for having embarked in this journey#in that house is where she relives moments of her past#and in one particular scene you reach out for someone inside the void that has formed in your TV#after trying to get them back and failing you start to hear a voice from outside the living room#the voice is screaming your name and then moaning afterwards#and man#i thought they were going to recreate the thought of having sex with your gf or wife or whatever#and it hit me so hard#like this woman trapped in constant death agonizing for escape having to watch the memory of having sex with her wife#hearing her scream her name#idk i felt like 7000 emotions at once#being jealous about your past self about not being able to have what you once took for granted#the grief of having intimacy with someone you can't even see anymore#the rage of having to relive these moments in third person because you're in literal hell#the despair of knowing this is not going to be the last time you're going to feel like this#god it was such a fucking good scene#AND IT WASN'T EVEN REAL LIKE DAMN#i wish it was fucking real#i didn't even know what was going on because i didn't know who this woman was 😭😭😭#anyway it is a good game nonetheless but damn I can't stop thinking about how i felt
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