#the plan for now is to put on headphones and pretend that said abuser doesn't exist

[struggling-to-find-home]

Annnnd welcome to surviving staying with abusers for a whole ass month, part 1!

So, after my first semester in uni (during which I tried to visit the house as little as possible) ended, I now have a month to fuck around in my home city, all while surviving a flat with three abusers. So I decided to document it here because a) why the fuck not and b) it will allow me to treat it like a game, which is much better for my mental health than just enduring.

And also,,, Idk, maybe for someone who is also in an abusive house it will be fun to read how I survive mine.

So, here's the general situation:

There are three other abusers in the house, only one of them has a set schedule of not being there until 7-8pm; the other two have an erratic timetable, therefore I can't predict when they will or won't be there

Each of them have a certain "area" they exist in the most; unfortunately, one of those areas is directly on the other side of the wall that has the door to my room, which means every time I enter my room I have to pass him

All of them take note of any information you give off and WILL use it against me, therefore anything I do should be done in a way where they won't understand what the fuck I am doing

This also applies to belongings, so there should either be nothing of mine lying in the open or my room should be so cluttered they physically can't take note of anything because there is too much stuff laying around

Food is,,, an issue. Half the time I can't eat what they're having, cooking for myself isn't an option because that leads to a multi hour abuser meltdown, and eating stuff from the food stash I brought needs to be done in a way where noone can hear/see that I am eating, because yes this also causes a meltdown

Sneaking food is,,, possible, but it's better to do when both of my parents aren't present because although my brother will take part of the food if he sees it, at least he won't have a meltdown

Therefore food should be hidden well to prevent potential stealing

You can hear practically everything going on in the flat so being quiet is a must

(I get that half of these are about food, but getting enough really is a very big issue)

Abusive episodes are it's own thing, but this is like. Your basic stuff that I always have to keep track of.

I brought a food stash, plenty of entertainment and a few comfort items with me to keep my sanity intact. I have been here for like 20 minutes and have already run into a roadblock of not being able to unpack my bags because they have food with ✨loud packaging ✨ that can ✨arise suspicion ✨, because, you know, abuser on the other side of the wall (who's videos are also playing at a frankly overstimulating volume); I have also not eaten since one, now being seven, and won't be able to until my mother comes home, so as you can see, things are already going splendidly.

Stay tuned for my adventures trying to survive this bullshit, I guess. I mean, I've lived in this bullshit for 18 years, what's one more month? (A lot)