#the perspective is wonky but there's only 24 hours in a day

[nimpnawakproduction]

Insomnia (Vashwood comic)

Fun fact: I had this scenario in mind at first for Yeehan, but never really took the time to draw it and I'm so glad I waited because the flavor this scenario has for Vashwood is *chef kiss* The amount of YEARNING this two have with this ounce of "doomed by the narrative" is delicious, I love it <3

[wehrwolf]

so this week I flew across the country by myself to see my favourite band in the entire world. practically nothing went amiss. I had random interactions with lovely people. my hobbling faith in humanity has straightened its spine a bit? I’ll be cringe about this below because I want to remember, let’s have some positivity for once.

I hate that I like nissan rogues, I know the transmissions are dogshit. rented one for a day to avoid dragging luggage all over hell’s creation. sound system fucked hard. LOUD paul barker. ate hella steak, eggs and pancakes at pancake chef near seatac. alright alright alright. 

killed time before hotel check-in, visited lakeview for brandon and bruce lee, ended up perusing the cemetery with a multi-talented guy from LA for about an hour swapping perspectives, observations on the human condition and tombstone critiques. glossy black crow perched on an equally inky granite headstone embellished with a huge cross - oh my goth, bro. eric, I’m sorry your cat died, you are rad and I will try to find your music online. be water, my friend.

the fashionable gentleman who checked me into the hotel was a sweetheart, down with skinny puppy, name dropped wax trax, awesome taste in rings.

dipped out for coffee, asked directions from coffee-holding stranger in glasses to make sure I was headed the right way. ran into him the next day in my new hoodie post gig, he mentioned how he used to work at a record store in edmonton, sold records to cEvin. what? insane.

seattle has too many hills, someone should do something about this. but very walkable. always move confidently with purpose, shoulders back, mean mug, look like you want to curb-stomp god. never appear lost.

found a 24 hr cafe near the kurt cobain twin tower / frasier obelisk that served a mean breakfast and was blasting tunes at 9:30am. several compliments on my filthy rat nest hair. what is this fever dream? unwashed hair is in. pancakes are my passion.

wandered to the paramount to get my bearings, saw justin by the tour bus and that metalworker ephraim dude’s sick rusted-out mad max’d honda cr-v. meandered around for the rest of the afternoon before skuppy-prep time. incredible roast beef horseradish sandwich. cool and good.

hung out in the GA line for a while, no VIP this time, wind picked up and it was pretty cold for a may evening. ended up next to a tough looking dude during the show, chatted a bit, he was a kmfdm roadie for a few tours. said his best puppy show was new orleans, I can only imagine. he reminded me of wez from the road warrior. thank you R for the gum, it gave me a second wind.

the paramount theatre is something out of a golden fairytale, gilded to the gills. generous stage for alien abuse. fantastic acoustics. reminds me of the hippodrome. I relished irving plaza’s intimacy but the paramount was my favourite venue.  

I will never tire of seeing lead into gold. soundtrack for slowly asphyxiating in a warm tar pit but make it erotic. thank you paul barker, long-legged light of our lives.

no surge/mosh at this show- if so, I didn’t notice. the energy was on point. denver had some choice dumbasses in the crowd, no such issue here.   seattle mirrored silver spring imo, excellent all around.  I made a brief, wonky post touching on this but in denver ogre was still obviously uncomfortable. that made me feel fucked up... and quiet afterwards.  this time around he seemed in great spirits, tons of energy, spinning the mic around a bunch, writhing all over the place to thwart tormentor!dustin (our boy is flexible). everyone was going wild, we all yelled ourselves hoarse. got to use their A setup with the big projection sheet. justin and cEv on risers.

side note: big love to matthew for his crowd engagement and bubbly enthusiasm this entire tour. honestly he comes off as just a literal cinnamon roll of a guy and the tour diaries have been a real treat. at the end he reflected on otherness and a need to be kind to one another in an unkind world, which really oddly summed up my seattle adventure... and the general vibe of skinny puppy’s unique fans (as others have mentioned here far more eloquently).

also real talk does ogre do belly dancing or something BECAUSE jesus fucking christ man he makes my mind literally fucking blank with all that fluid gyration absolutely knuckle dragging cave woman looney toons wolf beating the shit out of itself with a hammer feral. he knows what he’s doing too, god bless him. there were gals behind me that just started SHRIEKING like it was beatlemania, fucking ogremania with every slutty little hip movement (”go daddy gooo”). also like... cock grabbing causing me irreparable brain damage. then he legit straight up purposefully spit/drooled and it was just... super hOrny NOT like... mouth trauma symptom salivation (I hope? oh god.) his spit makes me insane. ok.

this was the first time I had the pleasure of hearing god’s gift (maggot). we were graced with smothered hope at earlier shows... so I think I basically experienced everything الحمد لله رب العالمين screaming. they ended with candle again, huge plus. ogre practically pranced off the stage after the encore. everyone came back out together for a heartfelt round of goodbyes. no concerts have moved me like these puppy gigs. I am so thankful, down to the marrow. there are probably other details but I have slept ~two hours in the past 48 so...   ✌️👽

[inky-thoughts]

How to Organize a Zine 101 #3

Hello~

I already talked about figuring out your zine and the zine’s schedule as well as what you should bring with you to successfully manage a zine.

I think the next step should be building up

Web Presence

I already talked a wee lil bit about it in Part 1 but I think I should elaborate a bit more on it as it’s basically the backbone of almost every fanzine nowadays.

A small disclaimer: Please take everything with a certain grain of salt as I am not a professional when it comes to social media managment. These are just some pointers I consider useful/helpful as they worked for me or other zines I had a brief overview of.

Where to post?

First of all, think about what platforms you want to use, and get familiar with them if you aren’t already. Learn “the way” of it to know which rules/guidelines to follow, because not every platform is the same in tonality or which kind of content spreads fastest.

The most common platforms that I’ve found to work with zines pretty well are Twitter and Tumblr. As both are available as apps for practically almost every phone, it’s also easy to check and keep updated with when you’re on your way.

Tumblr is quite interesting because it’s bascially like a website (and yes, you should keep in mind that the mobile version doesn’t support tumblr sites) and you can conveniently store all info to your zine, answer questions in public, and reblog post e.g. previews of zine entries. It’s easy to spread information quickly if you use the correct tags and post them in the best time frames for your audience.

Twitter is kind of like a news ticker, or gets used by many like this. It’s easier to engage with people and “spread the word” by tagging people who might be interested in the zine.

Also, think about where you as a manager have the bigger following so you can forward e.g. tweets or posts or make your own announcements about the zine to your following and potential customers.

What to post?

Obvious things are announcements like schedules, FAQ, details on the zine, application progress, previews, contributor lists, links to online shops, etc. This is kind of basic together with updates like if important e-mails to the contributors went out etc.

However, this isn’t everything at all. What I found great in other zines (which we completely ignored for our zine and I think that’s a very sad thing actually) was having specific dates (in fandoms stuff like characters’ birthdays, anniversaries etc.) or more general things like widespread holidays, or “event dates” (? - like world women’s day, labour day, you get the twist) that somehow correlate to your zine. For example, one zine I participated in was about the girls of a certain fandom, so they chose the Day of the Girl to start previews to kickstart the preorder phase - and I really loved that! It brings everything in another perspective because it’s not just a zine for a few little nerds to enjoy, but it conveys a much more pronounced message that way. Including those kind of dates, whether it’s just a small post like “Happy New Year” with a small update on the zine progress, or a special sale because it’s xy character’s birthday and it happens to also fall perfectly into your schedule, it just makes your zine feel more honest and considerate of their passion for the zine’s content. It isn’t mendatory, but it definitely has a more lasting impression.

Also, you might want to think about what medium you want to choose - photos/pictures generally get more attention as it is highly visual (plus it’s easier to find on a twitter accound for example) and can be a nice addition to your text. This is where you definitely should think about some kind of corporate design for your zine that is eye-catching enough to get attention from a lot of people and still matches tone and intention of the zine. Gifs may give a post a bit more animated, funny, or simply emotional expression, so having a few sets of gifs/images (perhaps from the source material if it’s a fan zine) handy isn’t such a bad idea. It’s something we didn’t have and I basically have only regret about it.

How?

You also might think about the tonality of how you appear on the zine’s social media. Generally, fandoms are a rather friendly and casual place to be, so you can slip a small joke or something like that into your posts, however, you shouldn’t go all “LOLZ dat boi xDDDDDD” because you still want people to take you seriously and (if it’s a for-buy zine) pay real money for your zine. Keep a certain level of professionalism but don’t have a complete stick up your butt is all I’m saying as you don’t want to alienate people because of one thing or the other.

If you’re modding the zine with several mods (which I highly recommend!), also add signatures at the end of each post (we did it with -Mod [our name]) so it’s easier to clear up misunderstandings etc. as people know who they’re talking to and maybe one mod just didn’t read the memo or something. With tweets it’s just wasting precious characters but on tumblr you aren’t limited at all.

Also remember tagging: It feels like a science itself, and partly it is. First, tag what it’s about. You need to reach the fans, so if it’s about a certain ship or characters, tag those. Tag the fandom, and, very important, tag that it’s a zine. having those covered at first makes you pop up in e.g. tumblr search more as tumblr had changed that only the first 5 tags will be where you’ll appear. Some blogs which collect zine posts have a specific tag they’re tracking, so including some of these comes in quite handy. The rest is mainly to maintain a system on your blog, which everyone needs to figure out themselves. Tagging on twitter is kind of different as you have a limit, I would always go with ships/content first, then perhaps fandom, and zine only if you’ve got some characters to kill. Also please don’t use completely unrelated tags only because they’re currently trending - this is just plain annoying and it’s more likely that people will ignore you instead of gaining some interest in your project.

When?

Do your research on what times are the best to post your content to get your target audience, especially as shipping can be very expensive so you want to have national interest in first place. Every social media has their own specific timeframes where content goes viral the fastest. There is no 100% correct formular, but some tendencies at least, so you can help your luck out a little bit.

Grooming Your Media

To most social media, the key to success is consistency, so you definitely shouldn’t sleep on this. Luckily, social media are (except for most forums but then again your phone usually also has a web browser) usually available as app version, meaning you’re quick to responst or check in. - That’s what you usually think but truth be told, apps also don’t always work perfectly, and especially the tumblr app is known to be rather wonky. I also (this is a personal preference, though) find it easier to compose posts and pick the right pictures on my computer, so if you’re the same way as I, I would advise you to calculate half an hour up to maybe 3 per day/every two days to check in on all your zine’s accounts. It depends a bit on how active the current phase is and how many questions/inquiries people are sending your way.

Tumblr luckily has the queue option, and it definitely saves you a lot of time when you need to bring up an important post regularly. Through the queue, the blog also stays more active, thus has likely more traffic or is simply more noticible as it stays fresh in mind.

Twitter, however, doesn’t have this function (or I’m definitely not aware of it), and, truth be told, also isn’t concipated for this kind of thing. There aren’t really many updates you can post during certain phases of the zine, but there might help the above mentioned dates you might want to keep in mind. Tweeting about the occassion and connecting it with your zine might raise interest and more traffic on your account. And yes, then there are the really busy phases where you simply can’t keep up with social media as the zine demands all your attention. However, sometimes people just want to know how busy you are, so tweet it! A sentence or two are probably enough, and then you’re basically good to go for the day. Just remember to retweet your tweet during your breaks.

And, again, checking on your media should be a regular thing because waiting for an answer for 1-2 days is a different thing than a month or so later (this accidentally happened to us because we didn’t get a notification), so don’t just check “does the system signal me that there are new messages” but actually go into all possible messaging systems directly to check because sometimes tech is a bit wonky. (Also check the message requests!!!)

To maintain a certain level of activity can be a pretty tough job and by now I’m actually inclined to believe that one of the mods should be responsible solely for the social media management while the others work on the actual zine. However, I can’t say I’ve had experience with handling stuff like this that way. It definitely would have gotten a lot of pressure off my shoulders (I mean there’s a reason why companies have a special department handling all this stuff.)

Also, when I say “post regularly,” you can determine what is regular. This can be 24/7, every other day, or once a week, maybe also every two weeks but I suppose no less than that or people might forget you even exist. It’s just important to keep that schedule up so people can build a habit of expecting and getting to see a new post at a certain time.

It feels a bit hypocritic for me to talk about this topic because I think I’m not doing a very great job at it myseld simply because I easily neglect stuff like this, but again this small series is about learning from our/my mistakes so you don’t have to make them with your zines.

Thank you for reading, I hope I’ll find the time to write the next installment soon!

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Masterpost

[aikainkauna]

Sorry I haven’t been giffing/posting/reglobbing much lately, guys. It’s that behemoth of a fic swallowing up all my sitting-upright time (and a big chunk of my reclining time). Four chapters or so to go and I’m still spending about 7-11 hours every day combing the remaining text for typos (yes, some of us actually do care about our fics and don’t think it’s some dirty “trashy,” “guilty pleasure” of less value), so it’s a full-time job with overtime. So if I’m slow to respond to anything, it’s that. I’m sure that soon enough, the post-fic existential emptiness will be upon us and you’ll be seeing more gifs and tag yelling.

Although it’s just been so quiet among the nice people here and so loud among the idiots that I might just take several steps back from Tumblr in general, just for my mental health. There seems little point in making gifs nobody reblogs and saying anything when it’s drowned out by the types who give liberals a bad name (honestly, some of the shit people say on here would already have made me a Nazi were I a bloke, because apparently nothing is ever enough and I’ll always be Doing it Wrong anyway; you’re not making tolerance seem worthwhile, if you nevertheless beat the tolerant person up for wearing the wrong types of socks).

I’m still looking for that fandom old people’s home, so if you find it, that place where people are old enough to have some fucking perspective, do let me know.

This whole place is eerily reminiscent of an abusive relationship where you’re constantly having to tiptoe because you never know when the next explosion is going to come and where from, what sort of utterly random thing someone is going to call abusive now and beat you up for, even if you’ve been working hard not to upset them, have made deliberate choices to accommodate them because you know their wounds. It’s like Borderline Personality Disorder, but in the form of a website. (And yes, I know first-hand what BPD is like. Had the spouse, had the flatmate, had the fuckbuddies, had the friends.) And the worst thing about BPD is that it’s catching: being around a human minefield makes everyone jumpy, and then *their* jumpiness becomes tyrannical towards others (when the hurt person is just self-defending, they feel) and then the cycle continues. Everybody is paranoid and beating everybody up in the name of great justice, and undermining everyone else’s psyches to the point where they become human minefields themselves. And they don’t know how to stop that cycle, if they’re in denial about having a problem, because of course, if you hurt and lash out, you’re just defending yourself. (Being told you’re a shitty person for freaking out at a trigger is worse than being triggered. Good luck trying to crawl out of that into any semblance of health, if you feel you’re just an explosive piece of crap forever.)

And while I know I can help a bit by stepping outside of that and offering fic and pics and lols where people can forget about it all, I’m still in two minds about offering it in a direction where the recipient is never going to be happy anyway, and where the effort is (or seems) wasted as long as the receiving end isn’t doing any conscious healing/rebuilding itself to better appreciate healthier things. It does nothing. Why am I buying medicine for someone who abuses me for it and throws the bottle in my face? I’ve been there, trying to please people who were locked up in their traumas and paranoias, throwing all my love and effort and work at them to no avail because I thought I could help; I’m not keen on doing it again. Because now I’m old enough to know I’m wasting my time, as brutal and as “selfish” that sounds (how about calling it “self-preservation?” “Sanity?” “Kindness to oneself?” I know women are beaten out of daring to have that, for daring to even think their lives aren’t meant to be lived for other people, but fucking watch me go).

Just like partners and friends aren’t the same as professional help, fandom isn’t the ultimate cure for depression/trauma unless there’s an inner change in the ill person to better utilise it. I was that ill person and I had to go through a lot of therapy and growth to not become a 24/7 abusive bitch myself (I still have shitty hypersensitivities, but those are in-built–they’re bad enough). I changed the way I see fannish activities (I now really do see them as medicine), and only then could I enjoy them to the fullest and only then could I start writing really good fic, because it comes from a firm ground of faith in the inherent value of fic. It’s a really complicated thing to explain, the interrelationships of fandom, queer people and mental health (there should be a book on fandom/queerdom and mentalness–we are wonky in the head, sometimes fucking awfully so, and it’s *not* all due to persecution but genes).

But my gist is that there’s no point in endlessly remaining in a draining relationship with someone who doesn’t want to heal–Tumblr’s anxiety-mongering culture of self-hate, ahoy! One has to pick one’s “battles” and channel one’s energy somewhere where it’s actually going to bear fruit. Not on a site that says the phrase “I don’t discriminate by colour” is racist, or that a feminist, mixed-race royal princess “isn’t enough” or that a given sexual minority gets to rule it over everyone else. Not on a site full of kids who are too young/American to have known *real* homophobia and racism, and who don’t realise that for most people, in the real world, even not being racist or homophobic is a *choice.*

Which is why I miss that supportive community of other brainy, feminist and reasonable fans who actually had conversations so. Fucking. Much. Where are they? (DW is where the militant vegan lesbian sociopath SJWs went, and if you’re not keen on eternal frowny moral meta, ehhh.)

Where’s the actual fun? Where are the other fans who are old enough to have been through therapy and who have experienced real relationships and have known actual real “minority” people IRL, and who consequently have an open mind about things? Who can see that things really aren’t as black and white as they thought they were when they were in their teens? Where are the fans who know something about psychology and psychiatry? The ones who know how gendered socialisation works and just how deep it goes, and who aren’t fans of Tumblr essentialism and its blindness to gender-based toxins? The fans who actually understand and respect the intelligence of other fans, instead of kneejerk assumptions of ignorance and moral corruption? The fans who legit don’t think a Gen X writer who forgot to use–or simply didn’t know about the existence of–a new politically correct term, is as evil as Hitler (because ignorance=/=active, intentional oppression, Jesus!)? The fans who respect the labor that goes into fanfic and fanart and always leave comments or otherwise support fan creators, instead of thinking of writers as vending machines for something “dirty” they feel ashamed for reading?

Because I’m that kind of “old” fan and I’ll be there for you if you’re there for me.

I just need to know where the fuck you are!

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 24: Thoughts on 4x04 and Clarke’s List

I tried to write something short and then it turned into 2.5k+ of ramble and now it’s 1 am. Forget Clarke it is I who am, in fact, The Worst.

tl;dr: Obviously Monty should have been on the list but I’m not that angry; I enjoyed the story line regardless. I’m glad we’re back to moral debates that don’t revolve around war and I think this latest complication to an old S1 debate about leadership provides a worthy twist. The fandom’s reaction to the list, at least as I saw it, was particularly interesting to me. The reactions of the Arkadians were reasonable but so, unfortunately, is the list. The list is still in existence and thus still (potentially) in play. I love Jaha.

*

I wanted to write up my thoughts on 4x04 but I’m tired and I want to sleep and I have a feeling that it would get very rambly very fast so… I’m going to try to restrain myself and just talk about the Arkadia plot.

So I didn’t hate it, like I feel a lot of other people did? I thought it was interesting, I liked (actually really loved) a lot of the individual scenes that made up the plot, including every millisecond Jasper and Monty were on screen because you know I have my biases too. Also, even though I fully admit there was some lazy artificial-drama-creating fuckery, the underlying issues in the plot were meaningful to me and I think there were an equal number of subtleties there to offset, for me at least, the lazy bits.

It’s obviously very lazy to keep Monty off the list. It was clearly done to spur along the plot, to give these particular characters very immediate motives to do very dramatic things, and no, that’s not usually a writing method I’m going to praise. Not that I’m praising it here, I’m just being (uncharacteristically?) forgiving. I guess my general policy is that I’ll forgive plot holes if I feel like the bigger picture is compelling, entertaining, and generally well done (like the wonky faux-science in the Mt. Weather story line or, to use an example from another show, the reveal of the Big Bad in S2 of Dollhouse). The Monty plot hole here falls into that category for me. I just can’t get worked up about it even though it falls apart at the slightest inspection and immediately draws one out of the story.

Because it was clearly a plot hole. I think KS did a decent enough job explaining why he was off the list, but it’s not quite enough because, quite frankly, nothing will be. The Monty omission is jarring initially because he’s a member of The 100 but that’s not why it’s a plot hole. Harper not being on the list is also jarring and if Kane and Miller aren’t on it (and I kinda doubt they are, because I think Kane would be high enough on the list to have been read off by Monty if he were there and Miller…it’s just a feeling I have?), then that is jarring too. But it’s not hard to understand when you consider that Clarke’s in-universe view of the situation is VERY different from ours as audience members. We could easily list off every single still-living named Arkadian character and still not be anywhere near 100 names. Lol, we could probably save all the corpses too and still have room for some Grounders. And it’s always going to seem more important to the viewer to save the knowns than the unknowns (this is also the basis of my theory as to why Bellamy/Harper/Bryan’s decision to save the slaves in 4x02 was met with so much resistance—because we literally have never seen these enslaved characters before so it’s hard to care about them as individuals). But within the universe, from Clarke’s POV, mere allegiance to former delinquents, mere personal preference for her friends, isn’t going to be enough, nor really should it be.

(Another aside because this is a major sticking point for me with me right now: the insistence of prioritizing a few named Arkadians over everyone else is really working against the show right now imo. It’s very hard to get a handle on the larger community when it’s filled almost entirely by extras. There’s no sense of proportion. Why do the Arcadians accept Clarke as a leader when she has no moral authority whatsoever? Who are all of these names Monty is reading out and why are they important? How much information do the people actually have and what do they think is going on here? Everything we know about the Sky People comes from elites like Abby or Kane, or delinquents, whose experiences in this society are not representative at all given their incarceration and the events of the first two season. The show is desperately lacking a “grunt worker” perspective, a character like Gina or even Bryan, to balance this out. But they’re too busy introducing new Grounders every other day so I guess that won’t ever happen.)

Anyway, my point is that it’s easy enough to understand why Clarke would cut Harper, for example. (Even without the sick-Dad revelation, I still don’t really see what skill set she has that makes her high priority tbh…she barely has a personality imo. Sorry to abuse these parentheticals I have a lot of thoughts.) And I think, like I said, that a valiant effort was made to explain why Monty wasn’t on the list. But it absolutely doesn’t hold up. Yeah, he’s an apprentice engineer, but has Clarke forgotten everything he’s already accomplished, even with barely any training, even at 15, even after uncounted months spent in lock up instead of learning new skills? Boy’s a genius. He pretty much single-handedly took down Mt. Weather. He came up with the idea to use the Ark in the first place. He’s from Farm Station—a trait Clarke herself emphasized all the way back in 1x02—which is even more important now than it was before considering we have possibly as few as three Farm Station survivors and at least one of the others isn’t on the list either. I mean there’s literally no way around the nonsense of this omission so believe me I am 100% with people who are calling bullshit on this.

That said, it’s a reasonable price for me to pay for an entertaining and thought-provoking plot so I’m not that upset about it.

There are three things I really liked about this story line. Well, four, but the fourth is all of the opportunities to shine that Jasper and Monty had but that’s not a point of ~analysis.

The first is the parallel to the situation on the Ark in S1, which is obviously an ongoing one that became all the more obvious here, with Jasper and Monty taking on the roles of the Griffins in spreading the information. What I think is fascinating about this is that in S1, Jake, and later Abby’s, position was clearly portrayed as the morally right one. Jaha/Kane and their desire to keep things quiet was seen as the villainous position, and when Abby ultimately let everyone know just what was happening, the best of humanity immediately came forward in a tear-jerking moment of self-sacrifice that still makes me feel misty-eyed now, long after I first saw it.

But I don’t think the situation is as clear this time around. Yes, the narrative does push you to have an initial gut reaction that Jasper and Monty are right and Clarke is wrong, and that is generally the reaction I’ve seen among the fandom. It’s not that simple, though, because while no one rioted, man, they were pretty close. There is no way Clarke would have been able to hold back a rebellion against her illegitimate power if Jaha hadn’t stepped up when he did. I don’t think anyone would have sacrificed themselves; I think they would have destroyed each other. That doesn’t mean she was right to hide the information; maybe the problem isn’t even centered in the list, it’s centered in the secrecy. That’s a valid possibility. (It’s Monty’s position in fact: “Do you really think that’s what I’m mad about?) And, too, this isn’t the first time when the reckless sharing of information with the rabble has caused harm or potential harm: 1x04 Murphy’s Law happened, after all.

What I’m saying, or trying to say, is that this is another example of the leadership-problem ‘what information do I share, and what do I keep’ that I personally find interesting, a moral dilemma of the sort I initially fell in love with the show for, and which was pushed aside as the episodes went on in favor of story line after story line after story line about war. So I’m glad to be getting back to these debates about leadership/government/civic structure because this is my Area of Interest to the nth degree.

The second thing I liked about this story line is actually more about the fandom/viewer reaction I’ve seen in the last 24 hours. I think how people watching the show reacted to Clarke and her list was really interesting: suddenly it’s The Worst thing and she’s a Bad Person for writing it and oh gosh it was So Obvious this was Capital-B-Bad and it was inevitable that it was going to blow up in her face and we’re all in agreement it’s Morally Unconscionable to Play God and choose who lives and dies I mean wow Clarke the Fucking Nerve on you. Correct me if I’m missing something but I saw absolutely zero outrage about the list last week—you know, when she actually wrote it? I saw absolutely no anger toward Raven last week when she not only first mentioned the list but hounded Clarke about it, all but forcing her to write it (Clarke basically bargained for Raven’s blessing to go on the Jaha trip, promising to write the list if the mission didn’t pan out). In fact, I STILL don’t see anyone getting on Raven’s back about the list even though she was the one who, incredibly pragmatically and logically, insisted it would be a good idea. Not a single peep until we see the consequences of it, which, if they were so obvious, probably should have been foreseen. Similarly, Bellamy probably had some hand in writing it and while I know today would be a bad time to be outraged at Bellamy, given that both he as a person in-universe and he as a character were totally shafted this week, but he hasn’t exactly been the recipient of any flak either.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not necessarily defending Clarke here. She is pretty much The Worst at PR and this episode really showed off her most obnoxious character trait: her frankly astounding arrogance, which has always been the hardest Clarke trait for me to stomach personally. (Pride is the worst sin for a reason you know.) From a writing perspective, it’s good that Clarke continues to struggle with her more negative traits, but from a personal-investment-in-the-universe standard, yeah, it’s frustrating to watch. Jasper, Monty, and the rest of the Arkadians definitely have a reasonable reaction to the revelation of the list and I don’t fault them for it at all, nor do I fault viewers for revolting too. I just think it’s really interesting how the list looked so logical and unobjectionable a mere week ago, and now it’s becoming more real, all the emotions are welling up, and Clarke isn’t just doing something hard to stomach, she’s doing something Inarguably Morally Wrong.

The third reason I liked this story line is because the list isn’t wrong. It is, at most, ambiguous. IMO the best way to describe it is using Clarke’s response to the Arkadians: “It’s not fair, it’s logical.” I’ve seen some responses along the lines of ‘well everyone should have a say in who’s on the list,’ to which I can only say ‘lol are you for real?’ Everyone’s going to vote for themselves first, their friends second, and the list will never actually be written. Have you ever seen that Parks and Rec episode with the time capsule? It will be like that except instead of Twilight and pictures of people’s pets it will be real humans. If the list is to be made it has to be made by a few people alone (I will concede that maybe putting it on one or two people is a mistake—both because their biases might come through too much and because it’s unfair to put that pressure on even two individuals alone). It HAS to be top-down and it HAS to be secret.

And if the list doesn’t exist at all, what are your other options? With no system at all, it will be a free for all. Not only does that run the risk of a ship without doctors or engineers or fertile women, it also runs the risk of a ship without even a hundred people, because everyone just killed each other on the way in. The lottery system is possible but as Clarke points out, you’re not going to get a logical bunch. You could get a surplus of men or not enough farmers or whatever. If your interest is in using cold hard logic to give humanity as a whole the best chance of survival, the list as Clarke made it, dispassionate and practical and focused on the big picture, is absolutely your best bet and the fact that this startlingly unfair and even cruel to the people as individuals doesn’t really matter. Because no matter how you slice it 500 people are going to work together to save 100; there’s no fairness here.

Also as an aside: guess what other governmental structure was specifically created to save the human race as a whole even at the expense of imposing outrageously cruel and unfair conditions on individuals? That would be the Ark in case we’ve all forgotten.

Again, if I were Jasper or Monty or Harper or Riley I would be ready to depose Clarke too. Jaha’s statements to Clarke were 100% right: you can’t run this situation with logic; you need to understand the emotion at play.

But what I find absolutely the most interesting about the whole thing is Jaha’s solution and the subsequent exchange with Clarke. He saved her from being deposed, essentially, and he kept the camp going and he appeared to use transparency to do it but really that’s not what happened at all. The illusion of transparency was itself a trick. The list is still in play. I only watched the episode once but I caught a few very interesting phrases from Jaha. For example, when he takes the list from Clarke he tells the Arcadians to “consider it shredded” but he doesn’t shred it. Then he gives it back to her during their conversation. He doesn’t argue with her about the lottery being risky. He talks exclusively in terms of what the people need to believe and how a leader handles people. Jaha’s plan I am 100% certain is to pretend transparency while continuing to lie for the greater good: everyone will believe in the lottery, which (Jaha’s so fucking smart and pragmatic I love him) not only gives them a reason not to riot but an actual positive incentive to work, and hopefully a different solution is found in the meantime but if it’s not, when the time comes to close those doors, the option remains to pull Clarke’s 100 inside and leave all those other expendables out. Because what will they be able to do about it then?

I don’t mean this as an insult at all but Jaha was the same person who could give a speech about unity and working together one minute and in the next say ‘oh btw we don’t have space for all of you on the exodus ship whoops’ under his breath so no one can hear it. He is intensely pragmatic and a great liar with a really spot on sense of people and an excellent persuasive tone. If the lottery isn’t the best idea, and I think he knows it’s not, it’s not going into operation. It’s a tool, not an endgame.

…Not that I think the list is actually going to determine the end of the season. There is absolutely no way that any named character is going to be left outside whatever shelter/ship/machine/etc. ends up representing safety at the end of the season unless (1) that character is already dead or (2) it’s a cliffhanger situation along the lines of 1x13 and there’s at least some chance that the outside character(s) will be back next season.

Tl;dr: Clarke should have hid that list better.