#the paper says 'best barista ever' this like made my whole week lmao

[roaringheat]

LOOOK WHAT A CUSTOMER GOT ME

[sunflowerstache]

Lifespan

A/N: Hello! This is very different from most of my writing, not only because its an OC, but because the storyline is just something out of my comfort zone. But I really hope you enjoy it(: I got the inspiration from a ad I saw on Facebook a long time ago lmao but yeah, come say hi once you’ve read it and tell me what you think! It’s much appreciated! I love you all so very much! Also hugeeeee shoutout to @devil-in-bw-the-sheets​ for spending like six months reading and re-reading this every single time I rewrote it and changed things and encouraging me each time! And @emotionally-imbruised​ for beta reading it for me!💛💛

Word Count: 7.3k

“Doll?”

The fog that seemed to have settled over your mind instantly melted away upon hearing the barista’s voice, her sweet drawl grounding your focus back on her. She was an older woman, probably nearing her sixties based on the collection of grey hairs scattered throughout her small ponytail. But still so incredibly full of life. She had red glasses perched atop her nose - which perfectly completed the red polka dots covering her black dress - a beaded chain dangling from the end to the front of the frame, a pair of silver peace sign studs resided in her ears, and the anatomically correct symbol for caffeine dangled in necklace form on her chest.

“What? I’m sorry.”

“Just asked if you wanted the cream on that.” She smiled, thin lines spreading out and away from the sides of her eyes as her mouth widened. Upon glancing down quickly, you took notice of her clearly hand drawn name tag filled with swirling letters - different then when you stopped by earlier in the week when she had used stickers to spell out “Rita”.

“Oh, um yeah sure. Why not.”

“My husband always says that during weather like this, the calories don’t count. That they disappear with your shivering. Can I just have your name, dear?”

“Georgie. And your husband sounds like a very smart man.”

“Oh, he is.” A dreamy look took over Rita’s features, like just thinking about the man made her heart race. “Been together for forty-two years and he still teaches me new things.”

Your heart ached with each word; the fog slowly started to creep back through your mind while you watched her grin fondly. The hope and excitement for the future that was always so very clear in people’s eyes was what made it so hard not to explain everything you knew, every secret you held. However, as much as you wanted to urge everyone to live the life they’ve always wanted, you knew there was a natural balance to life, and opening your mouth would undoubtedly throw that balance off. So instead, you grinned and nodded your head.

“He sounds wonderful.”

“My best friend. Counting down the minutes until the end of my shift. We’re heading up to see our grandbabies for the week.” It was like she knew exactly what kind of secret you were keeping and made sure to hit you where it hurt each time she opened her mouth. As if her being impossibly sweet didn’t hurt enough.

“That sounds nice.” Digging around in your bag for your wallet made it much easier not to focus on the ticking time bomb in front of you. “How much do I owe you?”

“Oh my! I’m sorry, I know I can’t talk forever if no one stops me.” her laugh was soft, inviting, one you would love to listen to while storytelling. “It’s four pounds.”

“You can keep the change.” You said when handing her some cash, but stopped yourself before you turned to walk away. Even if you weren’t ever going to outright explain anything to anyone, slipping in tiny, reassuring comments made you feel at least a little better before parting ways. “Have an amazing night with your family Rita.”

The coffee shop was relatively empty at the hours you stopped by. Other than the same group of men that were there every morning, chatting over the newspaper and a black coffee and a young nurse who was just getting off of her night shift, only customers on their way to work stopped by. But that was just how you preferred it. It was much easier to avoid running into people when the sun had barely just peeked over the morning horizon. You suppose the city isn’t exactly the best place to reside when you’re on a mission not to get close to anyone, but you’d much preferred the hustle and bustle of the city than the silence of the countryside. At least here you were able to escape your thoughts when they got to be too much, out there you were left to drown in the weights you held.

Rita was right when she said the weather would bring shivering. The moment you stepped through the café doors, all sense of warmth you previously had was sucked out of you, leaving the tips of your fingers tingling against the warm cup. You hadn’t ever really gotten to know the woman behind the counter, a few kind greetings every now and again, but she seemed to be someone who brought a lot of joy to those around her. And she always put extra chocolate curls on your drink. You made a mental note to send some flowers to her family within the coming days.

It was a car horn that initially took your attention off of the pavement, turning to look for who was in such a rush at 5:30am, but the hard torso smacking into her shoulder is what brought your attention back. Followed by the searing heat of your hot chocolate spilling down your front.

“Oh fuck!” you yelled, immediately dropping the paper cup and trying to pull your shirt away from your body to decrease the chance of a burn. There goes your chance to get home and drive right to work without any issue.

“Oh my god! Oh shit!” the man that had ran into you gasped, stopping in his tracks and grabbing onto your elbow to steady your wild movements.

Even though his words were quite loud on the empty street, his voice was still husky, almost like he wasn’t awake yet and still had some left over sleep in his throat. And when you turned to look at who had ruined your shirt, your own voice got stuck in your throat. He was tall, which made sense considering your head had bounced right off of his chest. He was wearing black basketball shorts with tall white socks and a light grey hoodie, which was pulled up to cover the dark grey beanie resting on his head. With one hand he was holding a water bottle with ease, while the other was frantically pulling the airpod from his ear. But apart from his sheer stature, you couldn’t ignore how beautiful this man was. How even the worry lines littering his face were perfectly accenting his features. Or how the green of his eyes seemed to sparkle in the dim light of the Whole Foods you had been stopped in front of.

“I’m so sorry! Shit are you okay?” he quickly asked, shaking his head before you could even respond. “Obviously not, that was probably hot. Oh god I’m so sorry!”

Finally getting your bearings back, you couldn’t help but nod. “Yeah it was pretty hot.”

“Shit, I don’t even know how that happened. I must’ve taken my eyes off the pavement for one second. I’m so sorry.”

“So you’ve said.” You chuckled, bending down to pick up your now empty cup at your feet and tossing it in the bin by your side. “Don’t worry about it. Really it’s fine.”

“It’s not, I’ve ruined your shirt.” If the disappointment in his voice wasn’t evident enough, the small pout on his lips definitely was. He looked absolutely distraught at the sight of what he’d done. “Let me at least get you a new drink. It’s the least I could do.”

“Oh, um, that’s alright.” You’d always known it was rude to speak to someone and not give them eye contact, it was something your father had drilled into you as a child, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Looking someone in the eyes meant seeing above their head, and that was an area you actively tried to avoid looking. But there was something about him that drew you in, and you couldn’t help glancing up at him quickly again. “I actually have to be getting to work. Thanks though.”

“Are you sure? I feel terrible.”

“Positive. Have a good morning.” Your touch was soft on his arm as you made your way past him, leaving the mystery man standing on the pavement staring as you walked towards your flat.

You didn’t mean to be so short with him, but it’s just how you’d grown accustomed to living life. It was the easiest way you found not to get close to many people, which meant less hurt in the end. And you’d been around enough hurt in your short twenty three years. It may be a lonely life, but you were happy with your cat, comically named Lucifer, and living a simple life. Sure, there were times you wished you could live the carefree life everyone around you got to experience, your only issues being stresses of work or relationship drama, but that wasn’t who you were. After living the life you did, there’d be no way you could live a normal life.

“Don’t give me that look, Luci.” you grumbled when walking through your front door, your cat perched on the dining table just watching as you moved through the living room, ripping your destroyed shirt from your body. “This wasn’t my fault.”

You’re sure that you looked like a crazy person if anyone was watching on, talking to your cat while walking around your flat in nothing but a pair of black slacks and a bra. But you didn’t care, because this was your normal. You ranted to her after a long day at work or a particularly draining day, and she always sat and listened. Mostly because she was a cat.

“He just ran right into me, like he literally couldn’t see me. How odd, right?” you stopped briefly while searching your closet for a new shirt. “God Luci, he was cute though. So cute. And tall.”

Just because you secluded yourself in the world didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy taking a peak at what it had to offer. It was the forming relationships that put you off, not because there was a level of uncertainty - nothing was uncertain to you - but because you always knew the timeline of said relationships. It was always the same. So why put yourself through it? But also, why not? What if that was just what you needed to make such a painful existence a little more bearable?

“I didn’t even get his name. Maybe I’ll see him around the cafe sometime.” you hummed, throwing the new peach colored blouse over your head and peeking your face out of the hole. “No. No Georgie, don’t go there. Who are we kidding, it’s not like anything could ever happen anyway.”

Lucifer meows loudly at your comment., making you turn around to glare at her. Obviously she didn’t know what was actually going on, but it was nice to entertain the idea of someone listening to your problems and helping you talk them out. You were a secluded young woman, not crazy.

“What? Like I’m wrong? It’s not something I’d be able to keep from a boyfriend forever. And It’s not like I’d be able to just flat out tell them.”

She meowed again, jumping off the table and prancing her way to your feet, rubbing her side against your ankles.

“What would I even say? Hey, I was born with this thing where I can see a floating clock above everyone’s head that literally counts down to the day you die? Yeah because that won’t get me sent to the looney bin.”

From the start of time, there has always been a beginning and an end to everything. No matter if it was an Oscar award winning film, delicate relationships, or even life itself, it all ended. People come, and they go, but the world continues on; taking care of those who stay to see another day. And on a daily basis, the idea of the end rarely floats through anyone’s mind. Except for you.

For you, it was impossible not to think about when it was quite literally staring you in the face. For as long as you could remember, you walked through life with a different outlook on the end than most other people.It wasn’t because you had some near death experience, but due to a gift. Or at least what some people in the world would consider a gift, because in no way would you call being able to see the exact day someone is going to die, a gift.

It was something that over the years you had grown to ignore, trying not to look too far away from people’s eyes and never thinking too hard about the ticking numbers.They weren’t obnoxious or flashy signs hanging above everyone’s heads - like you had seen some films try and depict - but instead, just a simple, faint, white clock just above the tops of everyone’s head, showing each individual’s lifespan. No matter how many hours you sat down and tried to rationalize why you were able to see this, there was never any answer. No one else in your family carried the burden, and because of that, you never mentioned it to anyone in fear of sounding crazy. But you knew you weren’t crazy, not when you prayed night after night for those numbers to disappear or for someone’s clock to be wrong, only to be let down.

You knew you weren’t crazy when you finally saw your favorite florist Don after he spent some time away, and his clock suddenly read 3 years, 20 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 6 seconds instead of the 27 years you had grown used to seeing on him every day before he left. It didn’t take long for you to find out he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and treatments had stopped working.

You knew you weren’t crazy when you got to watch Kim’s clock - the very sweet receptionist at your job - begin to slow down the more she adjusted to a healthy lifestyle of eating right and taking care of her body. What was once a ticking time of a measly 21 years adjusted what would be a long and fulfilled 59 years more.

And you knew you weren’t crazy when at only seventeen years old, you watched as your best friend’s clock suddenly dwindled down to zero’s across the board like a slot machine while laying on the bathroom floor of a house party. The drugs in her system being too much for her young body to handle and completely consuming the 72 years she once had left.

You weren’t crazy, you just carried a burden no one should ever have. And because of it, you made sure not to get close to anyone in fear of watching yet another clock strike zero.

So you moved on with your life, forgetting all about the tall man who had spilled your drink and run into your mind, making you think things you hadn’t in so long, and instead, focused solely on getting through your days at work and getting back home. It was an easy routine, one you hadn’t strayed from much since moving to the city six years ago; wake up, feed Luci, get coffee, go to work, go home, shower, watch tv, go to bed. And as happy as you were that life wasn’t so painful these days, boring would be the only word good enough to describe your life.

Until your neighbors moved in.

You were standing in the kitchen, lifting the collar up to your mouth to try and quickly lick the hot sauce off the old, ratty Elton John Tour shirt you were wearing before it left a stain, wearing nothing else but some shorts, a nice pair of cheetah print slippers to cover your chilly toes, and one of the two hundred paper face masks you’d ordered off of Amazon in an attempt to clear your skin, when the loud bang on your front door startled you. Not only did your family not live in town, but your neighbors knew that you weren’t a people person. Ever since you made that very clear to them upon moving in, they hadn’t tried to contact you, so you just assumed whoever it was had gotten the wrong flat number.

But the knocking persisted.

Lucifer’s head had picked up from her lap upon hearing the first knock, now watching as you made our way closer to the front door. “What do I do?” but the only response you received was her head tilting to the right, like she was saying ‘Really? Answer it you idiot.’

You wanted to be angry, you really did, because you were nearly ready to be completely settled in for the night after a terribly long day and you just wanted to watch some bad tv with Luci, but the moment you twisted the door knob and peered into the hallway, any anger you had felt, completely washed away.

“Hey! Sorry, my mates and I-” he abruptly stopped mid sentence once his eyes landed on you, like his train of thought literally face planted into a brick wall. A look of realization flashed across his face quickly, and in a matter of milliseconds, what was once stress turned into a look of excitement. “Hey! It’s you!” he smiled.

“It’s me.” something about him made it very difficult for you not to mirror his smile, but that desire was overpowered by the confusion coursing through your mind.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again! I still feel terrible about what happened, are you sure you were alright? You didn’t burn yourself, did you?” The man was incredible at changing his emotions at the drop of a dime, for now his eyes were laced with concern where excitement had just lived. “Or I guess I should say I didn’t burn you, did I?”

He was much more put together this time, the workout attire you had last seen him in was traded in for a pair of light red slacks that looked to be a crushed velvet material paired with a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black vans. He looked like any university boy you’d see walking the streets, but at the same time, like nothing you had ever seen before. Something about him standing in your doorway brought you a sense of calm, like just his presence was enough to wash away the stresses of your day.

“I mean I can’t say that it felt particularly good, but I didn’t get burned, no.”

“Oh good. That’s good.” he nodded, and you made the mistake of following his hand with your eyes as he lifted it up to his curls to fix the glasses perched on his head. You didn’t want to know, didn’t want to see what kind of fate the universe had in store for him because the peace he had brought to you in the few moments he’d been standing there felt better than anything had in the past few years. But you were never that lucky.

Your eyes quickly casted back down, looking back at the white of his shirt while you cleared your throat. “Did you need something….” you dragged out the end of the word to indicate that you didn’t know what to call him since he hadn’t bothered to mention his name.

“Oh, right. ‘M Harry.”

“Georgie.

“Hello Georgie.” if possible, the grin on his face doubled in size, causing two dimples to appear at the corners and the air in your chest to feel as though it was tightening.

The two of you stood in your doorway without saying anything for another moment before you spoke up; “So did you need something or…”

“Fuck, yeah.” his voice was breathy when he responded, standing up straighter, “My mates and I just saw you come home and we’re in desperate need of a needle and thread. You’ve got one?”

It only took a second for him to realize his words and that surprised look from when you first opened the door was back. His eyes widened and his hands raised in front of him as a way to stop you before you could respond.

“Not in a creepy way! We weren’t like watching you or summat, swear! My mates Niall and Louis just moved in across the hall.” using his thumb he pointed to the open door across the hall where you could see two other guys watching yours and Harry’s interaction. Upon realizing they were spotted, they raised their hands in a small wave. “We heard you come in. Not that we were actively listening! Just - ‘m sorry. I swear we aren’t creeps.”

“Good. Thought I’d have to sic my monster of a dog on you.” you replied, turning to dig through the small table in what could barely be considered an entryway. The table had started out as a place to keep your keys and mail, but like most did, quickly turned into a junk drawer. An abyss to put any and everything only to never see it again.

Harry’s eyes frantically looked behind you like some crazy monster was about to lunge at him for bothering you at night, even going as far as taking a small step back when the door opened a bit wider while you were looking for the tool. You laughed when glancing up quickly at the movement. It was obvious he was panicking at the new information of potentially getting mauled by a massive dog while simply asking for thread. So you put him out of his misery.

“There’s no dog. I’m just joking…”

As if on cue, Lucifer waltzed up to see what was going on at the front door, her small body weaving between your legs to get a nice scratch while checking out the never before seen man. “Oh! A cat! I love cats!”

“Yeah she’s pretty great.” you nodded, closing the drawer and holding your hand out to Harry. “Here you go. Um, not sure what colour you need so you can just take the whole bag.”

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you! Niall has a date in ten minutes and he’s split his only good pair of trousers.” he turned his head to look over his shoulder at the boys inside the other flat, trying to seem like they weren’t listening to the conversation, but very obviously doing just that. “Have to sew him in like ‘m some sort of tailor.” he chuckled, turning back to face you.

“Sounds like an exciting night.”

“Oh riveting. I would ask if you’d like to join but you look very busy-” the corners of his lips were trying hard not to curl upwards with the light sarcasm, wobbling a bit as he continued speaking, “-so I wouldn’t want to interrupt anymore than I already have. I’m sure I’ll see you again, I practically live with these two idiots.”

“‘M sure I will.” Luci hadn’t left your side since joining you at the door, instead, she began meowing quite loudly, so you bent down to scoop her into your arms.

You liked Harry, not only because he was a very obviously a good looking man, but because he seemed to pick up on your social cues fairly quickly. He didn’t linger and try to get as much out of you as possible or make the fact that you clearly didn’t have much interest in talking uncomfortable. And it was the first time in a long time that you felt content being around someone. Not fearing what the future brought.

Harry halted his movements halfway between flats and spun back around quickly. He didn’t say anything at first, just watched you press kisses to Lucifer’s head while standing in the doorway. Something you gathered from the very brief times you’d shared an encounter was that Harry was not very good at hiding his emotions. It was almost like he had no control of his mouth, because you could see him try to stop the smile from spreading, but it was no use. The dimples popped out in full force.

“I still owe you for that coffee.”

“Oh, um not a coffee.”  you tried not to be loud enough for him to hear, noting that the fact that it wasn’t a coffee was not really that important, but he heard you anyway.

“Pardon?”

“Just um, it wasn’t a coffee. More of a hot chocolate drinker actually.”

He didn’t respond right away, instead just continued watching you with fond eyes and a now very prominent smile. You felt as though he could sense how out of touch with relationships you had begun to get over the years. What other explanation could he have for being so soft with someone he had just met and barely even known

“Right, well keep your schedule open so I can take you out for that replacement cocoa.”

Your door swiftly closed the second he turned back around, not leaving any extra seconds for him to turn around and look at you again. And the second she heard the click of the lock, Luci leaped out of your arms and made her way over to the sofa, meowing her entire journey.

“Yes that was him.” another meow. “I told you he was cute, and I also told you nothing would be happening there.”

Harry wasn’t lying when he said you’d be seeing him again. It seemed as though every day when you got back to your flat, he was there. Sometimes on his way out, other times just standing outside the door waiting for the other boys. And despite how at peace being around Harry had made you feel that day he came knocking at your door, you never put in much more effort than a “hello” here and there. He and the others had tried quite a few times to get you to join them on their night out, but each time you came up with a different excuse. Even if they were comforting, what was the point in forming that friendship when you knew you’d just isolate yourself again eventually. You had made it this long without getting too close to anyone else, and you weren’t going to start just because two attractive lads moved in across the hall who happened to have a very fit, very inviting, friend.

It wasn’t until nearly a month later that you actually had a full conversation with Harry again.

Typically you tried not to go to the coffee shop by your flat any later than lunchtime because it just got too busy. There were too many people for you to fully avoid them all and seeing too many clocks dampened your mood significantly. But you had already had a shitty morning and needed something to give you a boost.

The place had felt very melancholy since Rita’s unfortunate passing last month, she’d passed peacefully in her sleep while spending time with her family. You’d sent the family flowers as remembered, and also made sure to drop a few bills in the jar on the counter each time you’d been in the shop. Other employees were setting up a fund for Rita’s family since she was such a loved member of the community just with the joy she brought from behind the counter.

“Just a large hot chocolate for me, please.”

“For here or take away?”

“Take away please.”

“Actually she’ll have that for here, please.” a familiar voice behind you spoke up as you were digging through your bag for your wallet. You could see him out of the corner of your eye move from his spot behind you, to gradually standing next to you, looking directly at the barista behind the counter.

“Um..” you felt bad for the young kid, he couldn’t be any older than eighteen and all he wanted to do was get to work and get out. But here you were making his day more stressful than it needed to be. “So… for here then?”

“Harry I -”

“Come on Georgie. Please.” never in your life had you seen a grown man bat his eyelashes, but here he was, trying to lure you in with his breathtaking green eyes.

“Fine.” your voice came out soft and you rolled your eyes, but on the inside you felt giddy, like what you remember life to feel like before you started isolating yourself. “Um, sorry. I’ll have it for here I suppose.”

“Do you want the cream?”

“Sure. Thank you.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, I’ll have a -” Harry’s profile was something you could get lost in. How the tip of his nose seemed to bounce with every word he said, how it looked as if his lips were made to form the words falling from between them, or how no matter how many times he tried to get it to stay back, one of his curls would continue to break loose from the rest and fall past his forehead. From what little you’ve seen of it, Harry had a great sense of fashion. Comfortable. A brown teddy bear jumper was covering his upper body, sleeves long enough to gather just past his hands and torso short enough that you could see his white shirt peeking out from underneath, ripped black jeans, a pair of black chelsea boots, and  those same tortoise shell glasses perched on his nose completed his look.  

“Ready?”

“Huh?”

“You ready? ‘ve got a table back by the door.”

The two of you made your move to walk back towards the front of the shop, but you halted in your tracks when you saw that yes, he in fact did have a table waiting for him, but it was also being inhabited by the two boys you had seen behind him when he came to ask for thread. Neal and Liam? And a girl was sitting between the two as they chatted amongst themselves.

“Harry I don’t -”

“Come on, I promise we don’t bite.” Apparently you still didn’t look convinced because he leaned down to be at your eye level and stuck his lip out in a pout. “One drink. Please? I owe you remember?”

“Yes and you’ve already bought me a new one, thank you by the way, so you don’t owe me anything else.”

“I know.” the apples of his cheeks began getting pinker the longer he stared at you, “But I’d very much like to spend some time with you.”

Just like he did when he knocked on your door, his eyes widened and immediately seemed to want to backtrack what he had said. “Wait no, not in that way. In like a ‘hey I think you’re cute -’ no fuck that’s not -”

“Harry.”

“Yes?”

“One drink.”

The relief was instant on his features, his shoulders sagging and eyebrows un-furrowing at your words. “Good. Afraid my mates were going to start thinking I made you up.”

“I live across the hall, they’ve seen me.”

“Well yeah, but I talk about you so much they thi- I - fuck.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from between your lips. You may not have had many friendships or relationships of any kind, but you did know excessive rattling wasn't generally how people spoke to one another.  “You babble a lot.”

“Only when ‘m nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?”

Harry wasted no time in his response, taking a quick glance over to you. “Because I finally get to spend time with the pretty girl across the hall.”

The heat rushing to your cheeks had become something of a common occurrence when speaking with Harry. It wasn’t obvious if he knew what he was doing or not, but you couldn’t imagine someone like Harry not knowing how to flirt. Thankfully, however, someone from the table spoke up before you could dwell on his comment longer than necessary.

“Finally!” the man sitting at the end of the booth spoke. He was dressed very similar to Harry in color - a tan quilted shirt was hidden beneath a cream colored teddy bear jacket, and pleated brown trousers. The light facial hair stubbled along his cheeks made him look slightly older than Harry, but his complete baby face counteracted that.

Harry looked at you briefly, raising his eyebrows with a ‘what did I tell you?’ kind of look as he bent down to slide into the booth next to the other man. His style was much different than the other two, more streetwear. He was wearing black trackies and an old gray band tee under a denim jacket, baseball hat and the very apparent smell of cigarettes finishing off the outfit. Another difference with him was that he had a girl with him. What you assumed to be his girlfriend by the way her head was resting on his shoulder and his hand fell on her knee. She was beautiful, long brown hair fell loose around her shoulders, only kept back by the fragile looking sunnies that rested at the top of her head. She was wearing a simple white top and a pair of white,black, and brown plaid trousers, both of which were overshadowed by the beautiful black Balenciaga jacket hanging off of her shoulders.

“Was starting to think you’d been lying about actually knowing her, Haz.” the one closest to Harry spoke, earning a light slap to his chest from the girl on his shoulder.

Harry disregarded all of their antics and turned to pat the seat next to him, indicating he wanted you to sit down, and he gave you a reassuring nod when you nibbled your lower lip between your teeth.

It was subtle acts like Harry letting you sit on the outside of the booth so you could make a quick getaway if needed that reminded you how easily he seemed to pick up on your social cues - even if you didn’t realize you did them. It made your chest tickle that even just from the two substantial conversations you’d had with him, Harry picked up on things you did.

“Piss off.” Harry chuckled, reminding you a lot of friendships you’d seen on tv where they all take the piss but it was easy to see that they all cared for one another. It was something you’d always been envious of while watching the world from the sidelines. “Georgie, this is Niall, Louis, and Louis’ girlfriend Eleanor. Everyone, this is Georgie.”

You were met with a chorus of hellos and you would’ve loved to just jump right into their conversation about the best places to get guacamole, just so that they knew you weren’t intentionally being rude to them. But not only were you not good at this conversation thing, but you also were still on edge about forming any sort of connection with these people. Apparently you should get used to Harry and his all knowing mind, because before you could excuse yourself from the awkwardness, he spoke up.

“So, how long have you lived in the building?”

Unprepared for the question, you froze for a second. “Oh, um going on six years now.”

“Impossible! What are you, like twenty? No way you’ve lived there that long!” Eleanor asked, her head no longer on Louis’ shoulder, instead she was sitting upright and looking directly at you. Of course, over the span of the years, you had gotten quite good at looking at people without really paying any attention to what was only visible to you above their heads, but it still made you uneasy. The best solution was just not to look at them at all. But these people, people who had no idea who you were a mere ten minutes ago yet were now welcoming you into their lives, made you want to work on avoiding the numbers. Because this was the most alive you’d felt in years.

“‘M twenty three. Be twenty four next Friday.”

“No shit! Alright well I’m coming over so you can teach me your skincare routine because you look flawless.” she gleamed, leaning forward on the table to jot down her phone number on one of the many spare napkins littering the tabletop.

“As much as I love a good skincare routine, let’s not skip over the more important part of that sentence. Your birthday is next week?” Harry asked, gently shoving his shoulder against yours and offering a kind smile when you glanced up at him.

“Oh, it’s not a big deal. I haven’t really celebrated my birthday since I turned like eleven.” your parents used to throw you a party every year while growing up, a lavish over the top kind of party where all of your classmates were invited and family you had never even heard of pinched your cheeks. But as time went on and you didn’t give up your ‘ridiculous fantasy’ as your mother so kindly put it, they began to stop throwing the party. Now, you were lucky if they sent you a card on the day. Plus, celebrating your birthday alone is kind of a downer.

“You haven’t celebrated your birthday in over a decade?” Niall’s mouth hung open like that was the craziest thing he’d ever heard.

“Nope.”

“Well that just won’t do.” you may not know very much about the people seated around you, but the smirk on Louis’ face told you everything you needed to know. “We’re having a party.”

“Um, thank you. Really. But parties aren’t really my thing. Plus I’m working that day so…”

“Oh, where do you work?” Harry asked, thoroughly interested in where you spend most of your days.

“Good Samaritan.”

“The nursing home down on Adams?”

“That’s the one. I’m a caregiver.” when you first applied for the position, you thought you were crazy. For someone who doesn’t want to get close to anyone in fear of their untimely demise, you definitely went for a job exactly the opposite. But that was the appeal to you. Sure, it was terribly sad to see one of your patients pass, but in the time leading up to it, you knew exactly who needed a little extra love. It was nice to be able to remind their loved ones to visit while making routine phone calls, and to do things to make them smile in what only you knew were their last days. It was the only time you thought what you were born with was some kind of gift. The tiniest most unwelcomed gift.

“That’s wonderful.” Harry’s voice was gently next to you, like he was hanging on to every short word that you said.

“Well, we’ll just have a party once you’re done with work.” Louis shrugged, but held his hands up when you opened your mouth to remind him you didn’t want anything. “Not a party, a friendly get together with friendly neighbors and alcohol.”

That day in the cafe was the beginning to a new start for you.

Obviously Lucifer had to hear about everything that happened that afternoon, but she was there to experience it first hand when Eleanor came knocking on your door the following day. She got to watch as you bent over in genuine laughter at your shared banter. She watched from the kitchen counter as Harry came by with food one night, saying he just happened to order extra lo mein and heard you come home. And as the two of you sat in the living room watching Big Brother, talking about everything from your favorite color to why he majored in physical therapy in university. Luci got to watch you break out of the shell you’d worked so hard on forming around you, and even though you knew she couldn’t understand what was happening, you liked to think her frequent meows were those of encouragement.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” The yells came from all corners of the room when you walked into Louis’s flat the following Friday, making your eyes widen and shoulders straighten. As much progress as you’d been making in your life, with branching out and slowly losing your fear of connection, it would take more than a week to crack down those barriers you’d built so high for so long.

“Thank you.” you laughed, putting down the bottle of wine you’d brought just in time for everyone to start surrounding you in hugs.

“Happy Birthday, love.” Harry’s voice was soothing in your ear, like a sense of relief in the overstimulation the other three had given you. You didn’t regret their company like you would have only a month ago, instead you welcomed the foriegn feelings. But it was still nice to have a moment of calm to fully process everything.

“Thank you Harry.”

“I hope it’s not too much. I told them to cool it on the balloons and confetti - especially since we all know I’ll be the one to pick it up in the morning.” he laughed, offering you a glass of wine that everyone else seemed to already be enjoying.

“No, no, it’s great. A nice segway from doing nothing every year.”

“Still can’t believe you haven’t celebrated your birthday in so long! That’s a day that should be celebrated by everyone!”that same look you’d grown to quite enjoy flashed over his features, his momentary distress as he realized he said something he wasn’t planning on sharing. But the look disappeared when he saw your knowing smile. “Don’t start.”

As promised, there was no party, per say. Everyone was just scattered around Louis’ living room telling stories about absolutely nothing that had everyone in stitches. It was the kind of party you’d always been envious of, one where mates could hang out and lose themselves in the company of each other. It was the first time you didn’t have a single thought about impending doom for more than an hour, a feit you would be sure not to forget.

Niall was laid out on the floor under the windows, a half empty bottle of rum in his hand and the other rested on his stomach, occasionally itching an invisible nuisance. Louis was seated in the arm chair directly across from Niall, a very buzzed Eleanor draped across his lap and the more the night went on, the less chances you had of seeing their faces separated. And Harry was seated next to you on the sofa, his arm hung on the back of the cushion in such a way that everyone so often you would feel the very tips of his fingers skim the exposed skin on your shoulder.

You wished you could freeze this moment in time, because a photograph or video would never do it justice. It was almost as if you were watching the night play out in front of you like a movie, not really in your body but watching from afar. Watching as the girl who hid herself from the world began to hatch, slowly cracking the hard exterior surrounding her. And you would do anything to bottle the feeling of pride that swelled in your chest knowing you had achieved that.

“Literally right in the face mate. No joke.” Niall cackled, his laugh a contrast in that moment; escaping his mouth loudly but carrying throughout the room softly. Taking off like a leaf blowing through the fall breeze.

“Georgie.” your name slipped from between Harry’s lips beautifully, like he was created for the sole purpose of saying your name over and over again; forever. “Alright?”

And sitting in the living room of Louis’ flat, listening to your friends’ wine induced giggles, looking at the most captivating pair of green eyes and curly hair that only whatever magical being that was above could’ve created, you were alright. You were so alright that the minuscule ticks of the clocks of your new and only friends, ticks you tried so hard to avoid paying attention to, almost seemed to disappear completely. Almost.

71 years, 2 months, 10 days, 3 hours, 16 minutes, 55 seconds. 68 years, 11 months, 3 days, 19 hours, 43 minutes, 2 seconds. 68 years, 7 months, 21 days, 1 hour, 58 minutes, 33 seconds. 62 years, 8 months, 9 days, 11 hours, 12 minutes, 2 seconds. 2 years, 1 month, 30 days, 23 hours, 34 minutes, 56 seconds.

[yxppeo]

wait for me

pairing: hyunjin x reader

genre: angst, fluff

au: friends to lovers, breakup, college

summary: you thought you’d never see your first love ever again

you and hyunjin go way back

i mean way way back

so let’s have some background about you two

you two met each other in middle school

you were assigned to sit next to him in your science class

and you befriended him right away

you both found a common interest in video games

“is that gta?” you asked hyunjin, pointing out the doodles on his papers

“y-yeah. you like video games?” he said as his eyes lit up

you nodded eagerly

“yes! i love them!”

and since then you two would talk about different video games when you got to class and before the teacher started her lesson

you were more on the tomboy side

so being around hyunjin was comfortable

like you were one of the guys

and the two of you became best friends

hyunjin was always at your side

you two would send each other horrible jokes

“do you want to hear a joke about pizza?”

“let me guess hyunjin, it’s too cheesy?”

“y/n! i was supposed to say that!”

overtime, you two were really close

and you started to develop a crush on him

it started with a classmate that sat near you and hyunjin

you two were laughing as always

when jisung goes

“when are you two going to start dating?” he jokes

you both stopped laughing

and started blushing

around wintertime, your best friend, nayoung, found out that a certain hwang hyunjin had a crush on a certain y/n

of course she told you, and you were red the whole day when your other friend, hyeri, wouldn’t stop teasing you

you kept your giggles to yourself, even with hyunjin around

continuing your jokes, despite your heart beating really fast the whole time

and after science class, he walked you to your next class

and that’s when you confessed to him

“jinnie, i like you.” you said quietly but loud enough only for him to hear

hyunjin smiled widely

“i like you too y/n.” he replied as he ruffled your hair

you walked into your english class with pink cheeks and a big grin

“what happened? did you tell him?” hyeri asked

“he likes me too.” you simply said

causing hyeri to hug you in happiness

hyunjin was the cutest and dorkiest boyfriend

he was shy to hold your hand

and when he did

it would be under the lunch tables as the teachers walked by

he would send you pick up lines that would only make you blush even more

you showed him a love song that reminded you of him

he was blushing while listening to the words

your first date with him was at an amusement park

it was filled with smiles and food

running around to find the different attractions

buying many toys and charms

you bought a snoopy plushie that both of you picked out

you thought it was cute

and it reminded you of hyunjin

you two went on a few rides, like the viking and bumper cars

but at the top of the roller coaster that you convinced hyunjin a thousand times to ride

before the carts could push everyone into the rest of the ride

you suddenly kissed his cheek

making him blush as you screamed in excitement when you accelerated through the tracks

don’t worry

at the top of the ferris wheel, he paid you back by kissing you on the cheek too

making you blush

over the months, you were so happy and in love with him

hyunjin was your first love

and your first kiss

he planted a quick kiss on the lips in front of your friends at your birthday party

immediately followed by screams from said friends

there were many kisses that came after that

in school, he would sneak you to where no one would see you two

or made sure there were no teachers

and he would give you a sweet kiss on the lips

which drove you insane for a fourteen year old

over the next few months, you and hyunjin didn’t talk that much

was it because of schoolwork?

was it because you two were too busy in your hobbies?

you honestly don’t remember

but you knew that you and hyunjin were drifting apart

and sadly

the summer after eighth grade ended

you and hyunjin broke up

hyunjin said that you two weren’t close as you were before

and as sad as you were

you decided not to fight it

and let him be

you remembered crying in your mom’s and dad’s arms

crying in nayoung’s arms as she visited you to make sure you were okay

crying as you saw your old yearbook filled with signatures and messages about you and hyunjin being together forever

tears falling where hyunjin wrote ‘i love you’ as he tried to draw you

laughing as you felt a bittersweet feeling in your heart

thankfully you felt better as time went on

freshman year of high school was so weird

your other peers were just learning that you and hyunjin were no longer together

and it was weird seeing him in a few of your classes

but you both remembered you were friends at first

so you tried to get along with him

it did work most of the time

especially when you were in a group with him

and had to do a project with him

but then you caught feelings again

you missed his hugs

his kisses

his cheesy jokes

unfortunately he did not miss yours

and it became awkward

you two didn’t talk for a long time

you returned your snoopy plushy to hyunjin at school since that was the only time you could see him

and you swore you could see the pain in his eyes as he saw what was in the gift bag

the only time you talked was at the end of the year, joking around like you did in middle school

at least you two weren’t strangers to each other

you felt relieved

but then you remembered one thing

he was moving schools

although it pains you

it also gave you some closure on your relationship with hyunjin

sophomore year came

then junior year

then senior year

you never contacted hyunjin

but he was following your social media

he became more handsome

taller

he worked out more

but he was still the game-loving dork you loved years ago

you also changed too

you swapped out your ugly glasses with contacts

you swapped your old wardrobe for a new style

you discovered how to apply makeup

and even dyed your hair a whole different color

you were a whole new woman

you didn’t really date anyone after hyunjin

hell

you haven’t even kissed anyone since hyunjin

deciding not to focus on relationships

especially since you were starting college

and you really want to focus on your studies and finding a stable job

you went through your first week with a breeze

seeing your old friends even tho it’s just been months since you’ve seen them

smelling the sweet coffee being made by the baristas as you go on your laptop

you got home when you heard your phone ring

‘hyvnjxn sent you a message.’

you had to do a double take

“is that who i think it is?”

you responded to it

and started a conversation with him

“it’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“yeah, it has. how have you been?”

you were shocked that you were actually talking to your ex

your first love

and you two weren’t awkward with each other

at all

it’s like those three years of not contacting each other happened

like you two were still good friends

you were talking to him as if he was one of your best friends

typing in all caps

smashing the keyboard

you found out that hyunjin wanted to serve in the navy

while you wanted to be in criminal justice and become a detective

“i never saw you as an army kind of guy”

“yeah, well i never saw you as a cop”

“…shut up lmao”

you also learned that he moved across the country

so sometimes he would message you while you were sleeping

but it was a nice thing to wake up to

the next few months have been hectic

you were balancing college with your part-time job

and although it can be stressful

hyunjin was there to message you and make sure you were okay

and if you needed to vent

he was there to listen

you both would skype a few times

whether it was just talking to each other face to face while doing homework

or playing games and yelling at each other

“hyunjin you missed that guy! now you gotta run to the other side before his teammates get you!”

“i’m trying my best here! let me live y/n!”

everyday, you kept talking to hyunjin

and before you even knew it

it was time for hyunjin to leave the country to go into the navy

you skyped him for a bit during your break in between classes

“you’re leaving already!”

“i know, i’m so sad.”

“who am i gonna cry to when i don’t have the motivation to do my readings or yell at when i’m playing games?”

hyunjin laughed

“it’s only gonna be two years, then i’ll be back to be yelled at by you.” he smiled

you pouted

“i’m so glad I talked to you – to have you back in my life again.” hyunjin said

you blushed at his words

good thing your laptop camera isn’t that good

“i could say the same to you. i mean, we used to date, you were my first love. i didn’t think i would see you again.”

hyunjin smiled

“you were my first love too. i didn’t think i would even have the balls to talk to you again.” he joked

you two kept talking for another five minutes

“hey, y/n, i really have to go, but i’ll talk to you later?”

“of course. bye hyunjin!” you smiled as you clicked on the end call button

you sighed

“i’m not supposed to love you again.” you thought to yourself

after finishing your last class, you drove home

drowning your thoughts in your music

you sulked into your living room

“why are you so sad for?” a voice called out

you jumped, holding your fists into the air

turning around to see hyunjin with wide eyes

“whoa there. it’s just me.” hyunjin said with his hands up

“h-hyunjin? is that you?!” you said, running towards him

wrapping your arms around his torso

“it’s nice to see you too y/n.” he giggled, engulfing you into a bear hug

you pulled away from him

“what are you doing here?”

“i’m gonna be leaving soon, so why not spend a few days here, with you?”

“with me?”

hyunjin nodded

“yes you, silly. now go get ready!” he said, pushing you towards the stairs

after getting ready and whatnot, you and hyunjin hung out at the mall

eating lunch at the cafe located in it

your friends were spamming you the moment you posted a snap of him

but you didn’t care to answer

you were caught in the moment

looking at hyunjin who sipped on his drink in front of you

you had a bubbly feeling that you haven’t felt in a long time

yet it felt so familiar

“stop looking at me.” hyunjin joked

shaking your thoughts away

“i’m sorry! it’s just feels like a dream. are you really here in front of me?” you said, poking his cheek

hyunjin grabbed your hand, wrapping it with his

“yes, i really am here.”

the next day, hyunjin picked you up from school, and headed straight towards the pier

the same pier with the amusement park you and hyunjin went to on your very first date with each other

“hyunjin!” you called out as he parked the car

you felt tears building up

hyunjin giggled as he unbuckled his seatbelt

“i’m glad you remembered. now come on!”

you two ran into the park like little children

holding hands

“remember when we kissed each other’s cheeks on the roller coaster and the ferris wheel?” hyunjin asked

making you blush a bit

“yes! we were so young back then. look at how much the park has changed.”

you two enjoyed the park’s new attractions

playing the games that took half of your spending money

but it was worth it when hyunjin won you a huge teddy bear

“hyunjin, it’s not gonna fit in your small car!”

“but it’ll fit in your room.” he winked

causing you to slap his shoulder, trying to hide your blushing face

you and hyunjin decided to ride on the roller coaster

the infamous cheek-kissing ride

“you still scared of roller coasters?” you teased hyunjin

“hey! i am not!” he whined

and yet here you two were at the very top of the roller coaster

you really had the balls to look down and look at hyunjin

“you sure you’re not scared?” you smirked

“a little, but i’m not scared of doing this.”

before you could even breathe to ask him what he’s talking about

he quickly cupped your face and planted his lips onto yours

you melted into the kiss as the carts moved forward at a fast speed

screams from other riders blasting through the park

but everything felt like it was in slow-motion

like it was just you and hyunjin in the world

he pulled back near the end of the ride

leaving you looking like a tomato

hyunjin was grabbing your things when you grabbed his hand

interlacing your fingers together

hyunjin smiled as he pulled you away and into the park again

enjoying the night winds

hyunjin dropped you off home, walking you to your door

“i’ll see you tomorrow at the airport?” he said, inches away from you

you felt your heart break a little

you forgot that hyunjin was leaving tomorrow for the navy

“yeah.” you breathed out

“good night y/n.” he said, deeply looking into your eyes

you lifted yourself up with your toes

pulling hyunjin for a kiss

you stayed in that position for a while

until you pulled back and opened the door

leaving hyunjin in a dazed state

you went into your room, placing down the huge bear in the corner of your room, and cried yourself to sleep

despite having the most amazing day ever with hyunjin

the next day rolled in

you found yourself in the freezing airport

you were waiting with hyunjin as he rested on your shoulder

his family that stayed on your side of the country was with you two

waiting for his departure as well

his flight was leaving in half an hour

you looked through your phone

until you heard the call for his flight

“hyunjin, wake up.” you said quietly, patting his cheek

he stirred in his sleep as he slowly got up

“it’s time to go.” you said with a small, yet painful smile

hyunjin reflected your smile, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb

you walked him to his terminal

“i guess this is goodbye.” hyunjin said

that bittersweet feeling you knew too well filled your body

you couldn’t say anything to him

you just hugged him, squeezing him tightly

letting your tears ruin his shirt

“i’m gonna miss you a lot.” you said, muffled by his chest

hyunjin chuckled

“i’ll call you when i can.” he said

you looked up at him

hyunjin instantly wiped your tears with his thumbs

giving you the sweetest smile

“wait for me.” he quietly said, kissing your forehead

“i love you.” he added

“i love you too hyunjin.” you said, trying not to choke up

he pulled away, said his goodbyes to his family and started walking towards the boarding bridge

you sniffled as he turned around and waved to you

you couldn’t help but smile as more tears ran down your face as you watched him walk through the doorway

but wait, there’s more

two years without physically seeing hyunjin seemed like forever

but you distracted yourself with your friends, schoolwork, and your job

you were in your third year of university

you found a paid internship at the police department

and they guaranteed you a position after you graduate from the police academy

you were ahead of your classes, so that meant a lot of down time for you

you hung out with your friends on weekends doing whatever you felt like doing

whether it was shopping

eating

or watching cheesy romcoms

which reminded you of hyunjin

laughing to yourself as you remembered you both loved horror and action movies more

your friends were quite shocked at how well you were doing without him

but little did they know

you two were still in contact

you never told them about your late night skype calls whenever he was available

you two would eat while video chatting

taking him with you while you ran errands

even falling asleep while on the call

“y/n, you haven’t been on a date in forever!” nayoung yelled

“you haven’t dated anyone since hyunjin, and he’s literally the only guy you’ve dated.” hyeri said

“i am literally right next to you. i can hear you loud and clear.” you said, rubbing your ears as you and your best friends continued walking through campus

“yeah, why don’t we set you up with that cute guy from your english class?” hyeri added in, taking in a bite of her sandwich

“i’m not interested.” you chuckled

“you haven’t even tried to mingle with anyone once during college, and we have a year left here.”

“you even shot down the guy who was totally flirting with you when we were shopping.”

“i thought he was being nice!” you exclaimed

“but seriously, it’s no big deal. you don’t have to worry about my love life.”

“you sure you don’t want me to find someone for you?”

“i can hook you up!”

you looked ahead to see a tall figure wearing camouflage

instantly making eye contact with them

once you realized who it was

you two broke into the biggest smiles

“i think i’ll be just fine.”

you ran towards the figure and leaped onto him

wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifted you up

not caring that there were people staring

“hyunjin!” you said as tears were already spilling from your eyes

“holy shit.” nayoung and hyeri said as their jaws dropped

“i see you’ve missed me badly.” hyunjin laughed as he held you

“of course i did!” you said as he lowered you onto the ground

planting a sweet and chaste kiss on your lips

you couldn’t help but blush at the familiar feeling

“i hope you didn’t wait for me for too long.” hyunjin said

“for you, i’d wait forever.”