#the only way to life Everlasting to stop being obessed with the current consciousness you possess
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
elvesofnoldor ยท 1 year ago
Text
like anne rice could be such good writer if she just wrote with compassion and empathy for her characters. There was this "baby Jenks" character from the beginning of the queen of the damned and her story was so afforded so much genuine love and compassion it was literally my favourite part of the first part of the book. Baby Jenks' story reminded me of some of the best Sandman one-off characters' story tbh, it was that good. Wish Anne Rice always write with so much love and compassion though. Anyways, It's no wonder, tbh, that Baby Jenks character is actually Claudia (lestat wept for that girl because he was weeping for Claudia from his life, pretty sure at this point Anne Rice consciously projects her own motherhood onto him). maybe at that point in anne rice's life, she has heard enough about things like re-incarnation and all the better places one can go to after death that all that stuff is allowing her to started to make peace with the tragic death of her late daughter?? but i wonder if she ever got to walk out of her grief? cause idk? she kept writing vampire books??? to the end of her life???
like it's honestly such a mess that she wrote IWTV in response to the very tragic death of her daughter. I have to be honest, i cannot begin to imagine just how painful it is to go through something that traumatic, but i also felt like writing a psychosexual gothic horror vampire story is not exactly therapeutic either. It's kind of funny that it takes getting into the vampire chronicles for me to truly understand what vampires really are. But i do, finally. Vampires are not weird fantastical creatures, they are not Death itself, and they are certainly not Life Everlasting. Vampires, like ghosts, are simply a spiritual embodiment of the very rejection of Death. They are very effective device to examine the human condition, because we as human beings all fundamentally reject the inevitability of death and obliteration of the self we currently possess. We inherently fear change, fear loss, the changefulness of life, and the annihilation of self. Vampires embody a certain state of mind that's frankly universal in humans. But I don't think Anne Rice always wrote her vampire chronicles knowing vampires are??? if she ever knew??? Definitely not at the beginning though, when Louis was definitely just her self-insert and he brought Claudia to live with a theatre of vampires and they live happily ever after. I mean, midnight mass really got the Point when it says "the only way to achieve True Immortality is to accept and embrace death, and because vampirism is inherently about rejecting death, it will NEVER be life everlasting". Honestly the only reason that motivated me to read more Vampire chronicles is....well...i wanna know if Lestat can just? idk, be happy? be free? But this dude kept trying to get together with his abuser and i honestly don't even know what to say. Really i do not understand why Anne Rice kept making it happen. I have seen zero evidence that Louis changed to become better person and someone actually deserving Lestat's love. And more importantly, idk man, im not a psychologist but can you stop being a p*dophile??? so um. humm. i don't fucking know about this, lol. Like, im gonna be fucking real here, fuck all that "lestat was a bad person" " lestat was manipulative" shit, please grow a brain!!! Lestat was a good and loving person!! Period! all his bullshit has to do with the fact that he died a horrific and traumatic death and was never able to free himself from the pain and despair that trapped him in his vampiric state. But to let go of his pain and truly be the good person that he always was again, it'd require him to...well, embrace true death. But since Lestat will never end im guessing he will just have to stop being a bonafide vampire and become some sort of dark fantasy faery creature lmao. I'm starting to suspect the reason people think prince lestat trilogy is cringey because her vampires just...aren't even vampires by the end of it lol. Im suspecting that Anne Rice literally had to come up with some fantastical mumbo jumbo to justify her vampire characters finding happiness because these bitches kept walking into the sun and they kept not dying from it. I mean, lestat croaking for reales is kind of depressing so MAYBE i will take this shit. maybe i will still read the prince lestat trilogy lol. I heard there is bloodborne lore in there.
#mae overshares#i dont wanna say it but i think i finally decided to get into vampire media cause i was just fucking depressed#ok my life sort of fell apart mid 20s couple of years ago and i hadn't talk about it and i never will#and it was why i went back to tolkien. i had to escape into tales of elves (immortals) to numb my own pain#but for the longest time i was crying all the time just thinking abt the possibility that my loved ones will die#i was so scared that i will never see my grandpa before he passes. im still mortified tbh#i can't face the changefulness of life. and i longed for everything to stay the same. for lack of loss#im afraid of aging. im afraid to turning old. you know. regular depression shit#and im raised buddhist!!! and a key buddhist teaching is that you have to let go of the self to be free#the only way to life Everlasting to stop being obessed with the current consciousness you possess#you have to accept that the person you are now WILL disappear. but you will never end#i know exactly what Life Everlasting is supposed to be and i still! wish for fairy tale immortality!#faith is nothing in comparison to pain. pain overwhelms everything. faith. reason. knowledge#i think maybe tumblrinas are just crying for help when they casually joke abt getting immortality from vampires#cause for the first time in my life i got the morbid humour? i was like 'haha yeah if a vampire came and kill me i will say thank you <3'#i was like 'the thought of becoming some sort of horrid creature is kind of cool as long as i stay young forever <3'#'esp if said horrid creature wants to fuck me <3'#honestly. it's really hard to let go of pain. and my pain was nothing compare to the shit a lot of people had to go through#it's so EASY to become trapped in your own pain and grief
0 notes