#the only thing that's been getting me through has been re-watching symbalily's hollow knight playthrough
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alexa how do i find the will to live when i’ve been without a hyperfixation for months and am bad at the only things i even remotely feel like doing
#the only part of this that is a joke is the fact that i don't have an alexa#anyway every day i wake to miseries and pass out to miseries and there is literally no joy in my life haha lmao#the only thing that's been getting me through has been re-watching symbalily's hollow knight playthrough#so i thought i would give it another go since i bought it years ago and was bad at it so i gave up#so i added a mostly invincible mod so i wouldn't die every 3 minutes#alas. i am very bad at video games so all it does is make me tense and pissed off#nothing is fun anymore and hasn't been for a long time now#like. six months.#which is a long time to go without finding joy in anything#and idk every time i try to make myself do something to help or change things up in the hope it'll make things a little better#it doesn't work and then i end up feeling worse for the fact that it didn't work#idk. i'm just so tired of this being endless#i'm 31 and feeling the same or worse than i was at 13#disgruntled octopus
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