#the only reason why i'm publicly answering the ask is so that i can re-read it again and make sure that our answer has some sense to it.

[faunabells]

why would someone think in-system relationships cant replace outer ones... unless they believed that in-system relationships are inherently lesser than "real" out-system relationships 🤔 it just sounds like pluralphobia /nay

eh, i don't know why someone would think that. it doesn't seem like a common opinion amongst plurals, thankfully. (or at least it's not an opinion that's discussed on a wider scale.)

all i could speculate is that maybe they think that it'll be too isolating or not fulfilling enough for someone to replace outer relationships with inner ones. maybe they even have the idea that inner relationships are unhealthy.

...all of which are relative to the system and its individual members. simply, just because one finds that something isn't for them, doesn't mean that something isn't for everyone else.

or, perhaps:

the belief that inner relationships can't replace outer ones can possibly be chalked up to pluralphobia, as you'd said. but i feel like it may be a bit more complicated than that? i just don't have a lot to go off on since this particular aspect of having in-sys relationships isn't really talked about that much.

[novella-november]

Not to harsh your joy regarding your personal project, (which does sound awesome!) the fact that you keep answering the "can I do fanfic?" questions with "technically yes, but have you considered not doing that?" does not actually *feel* very fanfic friendly. (Especially for anyone who enjoys fanfic as a hobby and isn't also an ofic writer. For example, I personally write almost exclusively character studies that are an explicit reaction to canon; there is no real way to write that sort of thing except as fanfic.)

Which is just a long-winded way of requesting that you maybe consider less of a caveat with the FAQ if you make one, please.

oh that was definitely not my intention, thanks for the ask! I think it was mostly just because I got that same question a few times in a row from various anons within the same time span (including some that were not published publicly), it just happened that I was thinking of my own project(s, plural now) in the last day when I answered those two, for those who want an extra creative challenge.

There's a reason my own original thing has been in my head for the last ten years without me actually writing it while I've written and posted tons of fanfiction, and even now some of my original works are going to be based on Arsene Lupin, so they'd technically be considered fanfiction since they're based on and use an established work for the characters and settings --

--writing completely original fic *is* harder, and that's exactly why I'm *suggesting* (not requiring!) that people consider taking 1 out of short story 4 challenges to look at their work in a new light.

90% of what I read and (until I actually start and finish my original works) 100% of what I've written in my life is fanfic. I have nothing against fanfic, otherwise I woudn't even be interested in creative writing.

But its also not a diss to say "Would you consider looking at your [fanfic] writing from a new angle and try to figure out different ways of going about it?"

Honestly, being able to even consider this option *as a fun extra challenge* is meant to help improve your writing and creative skills; it's not meant as a cheap shot at people who choose to write fanfiction because I my self write and read tons of it,

it's me saying "if you want even more practice at creative writing during these monthly challenges, try branching out a little bit from your comfort zone, you may be pleasantly surprised."

People who write and read fanfiction already have tons of creative experience, and if people like me and many other fanfic writers who one day dream of being published authors, want to broaden our horizons and seek new experiences, one of the easiest exercises is to take something we're planning on writing or already wrote, and see what we would change to make it brand new and standalone--

-- something that not only helps you come up with new ideas, but also will help when it comes time to *edit*, which can be, depending on the length and complexity of your story, can be a complicated process:

whether that means having to delete scenes entirely,

changing what a character says,

altering an aspect of the worldbuilding to fix plot holes

, re-writing your character so they're not overpowered because it was ruining the stakes and tension,

changing the POV of chapters because it was ruining the flow of the story,

etc etc etc.

I love fan fiction.

I love reading it and I love writing it, and for many people who take on monthly writing challenges, it is a way to test ourselves and gear ourselves up and prove to ourselves that not only can we write x amount of words, but it proves to ourselves that we are *capable of creating*, and for many creatives, that ultimately leads to crafting our own unique stories;

if you're already taking place in a monthly writing challenge, why not push the bounds a little bit *if you're so inclined* and test the waters? Especially when you're surrounded by a community who is cheering you on, every step of the way?

Every Nanowrimo I ever won was fanfiction. Heck, even not during November I once did 40k words in two weeks for a fic.

I always stalled out when I tried to write original works;

it is much easier to start small with a single short story than it is to try to write an entirely original novel, and my encouraging people to try baby steps by *experimenting* with one short story out of four in a month is not meant to be a diss against fanfiction,

but an *encouragement to those like me* who were so eager to write original works but floundered when I tried to jump into the deep end and felt disheartened.

Many fanfic authors aspire to write original fics, and thats who that challenge is for, for the people who want to write original works but are too afraid to fully commit; I'll still be writing and posting fanfiction even if I become a published author, even If I just have to come up with a few new pen-names to post them under.

There's absolutely no judgement on anyone who wants to write fanfiction for these challenges, my "caveat" as you say, is only there as encouragement to those like me who are afraid to take the first step, or uncertain of how to even *begin* that first step, not any kind of condemnation.

TL;DR:

I did not mean for my responses on the "can I write fanfiction" to come off as rude or looking down on fanfiction, its meant to be an encouragment to all the people like me who love fanfic and started out writing fanfiction, and dream of writing original works to take the first step, with a community of like-minded people all taking the same challenge.

Like every other challenge aspect of these events, taking a fanfic idea and turning it into an original short story is completely optional and meant as inspiration, just like following prompts for events is not mandatory, and even completing the 30k word goal is not mandatory; the goal for this month is to create, get in the habit of creating, and having fun with it!

[willowsallen]

im so sorry this is going on with you and other indigenous people but i did notice you said you werent going to copy what you said in discord becaues it was so long but would it help to just post a screen shot? simply because it may diminish the proving anon you got for any future miscommunication again sorry this has happened and i stand with you all

hi! i was actually thinking about including the screenshot in my original post, but i just wanted to get it out there and didn't have time to go back and forth if it was really necessary! but with the anon i got asking about my wording, it may just be better to put my full reply out! and thank you so much<3 it's greatly appreciated. below the cut is the last interaction i had with her (maybe forever). i also posted the direct text because sometimes it's hard to read a screenshot!

Natalie — Yesterday at 3:33 PM: i've deactivated my blog for my mental health, left indigenousrph before doing so so hopefully that doesn't disappear, but you and ari (who i will be letting know) will have full control on what you want to do about it. i will probably be taking a break from discord as well, if i ever even decide to re-join discord. deactivating is something i've been thinking of since yesterday, and it is fully my choice i went with. i am sorry. (edited)

missing proxyrarbg — Yesterday at 4:52 PM: Hey bear w me im 20 mins from home

missing proxyrarbg — Yesterday at 5:27 PM: hi! firstly i want to at least thank you for keeping me updated - i guess i wanted to start this off by saying i'm confused why we didn't talk until i reached out and even then, it was limited. i'm not asking for an explanation, just explaining my mind. we've been friends for years. you were the first native person i met in the rpc, we used to be really close too - i would come to you with issues, we would talk about pretendians, we would help write guides, or answer questions. granted, recently we haven't been talking (somewhat due to me not being very active, especially in regards to the indigenous server or anything indigenous in general) but i still thought we were friends. i've said since the beginning, i'm confused and don't know what to think and you have whatever you need to believe in your indigineity. my confusion only comes when you didn't reach out to me, nor did you give me anything to go off of. you don't have to post anything publicly (what that blog did was more than enough) but even sending me some specifics from your life, something, anything and i could've had your back. i was inclined to side with you from the very jump! why would you have any reason to lie? and still, as i write this, i'm just as confused as when this all started. so i can only assume how caught off guard you were. but i guess i'm just looking for some reason? not that i'll get it, i'm not forcing or demanding. but why didn't you come to me, at the very least to explain until well into the ordeal? or give me some more information that i would've 100% gone to bat for you with, without exposing anything personal. i think this is all to say i just wanted to make my peace. i told you that only you know if you are indigenous and maybe to help us (indigenous community) help you. we all had your back until everything was piling up and we had nothing to go off of. i wish you well! and hope you get the healing you need. i think that's all i have to say about that. (edited)

[eilinelsghost]

Hi there, I'm your huge fan and a loyal fan of Atandil, read every single episode (other than the most recent one).

I just wanted to msg because I saw a post by you, which I can't find anymore, commenting on other people's writing. It has been churning in my head for an hour. I'm a bit disappointed by your statement honestly. Don't get me wrong, you are free to read (or not) anything you want, but to say that you don't read people's writing and then right away state that no one other than your friends gets a dynamic correctly is a little concerning.

I've been a fandom lurker since 2015 and can assure you there are many takes on many characters out there, some great, some not so much. If you need good fic recs, maybe just ask the community and people whose style you trust.

A note that I'm both a foreign speaker and on the spectrum so I don't always interpret textual messages well. And I want to believe that what you wrote is not ill-intentioned, just maybe not best worded. So this is just a friendly note, I hope you take it as such.

Feel free to not post this publicly, I don't actually need an answer.

Hi anon, thank you so much for messaging. Another person had reached out a little while earlier and let me know that they suspected the post was communicating differently than I intended, which is why you couldn’t find it when you went back to look - I’d deleted it not long before receiving your ask and posted a quick apology and explanation of why the post went away. But I’m glad to have a reason to say more about that.

You’re absolutely right that it came across as dismissive and arrogant and not open to other interpretations. What I should have said instead was that I initially stayed away from reading any Finrod/Balan fic because I can easily find myself mimicking other styles and characters, so I didn’t want to read any until I had it well established in my own head, lest I accidentally start pulling from someone else’s vision and story - and honestly I still don’t seek out fic about those two for that exact reason. I was embarrassed to say that in a post because its something I’ve been very insecure about as a writer for many years, so instead I shifted to pull in a different explanation to answer without admitting my insecurity. Clearly it would have been much better to just state the actual reason! But to the point re the post, the result of not seeking out fic is that the only ones I have ended up reading are the few by my friends because they shared them directly, not because I sought out only those. I did not mean to imply they had the only good interpretations - just that the very few Finrod/Balan fics I’ve read so far have (in my opinion) done a great job with the characters - but you’re absolutely right that it sounded like I was saying that as a blanket dismissal and I feel awful that that’s what it communicated.

Again, thank you so much for reaching out - and thank you to the other person who reached out as well. I really appreciate you letting me know how poorly that was expressed and that it was causing hurt as a result. I truly did not mean to do that and I’m very sorry that it did.

[destinyc1020]

Just read that anon about the video, and I have to say it actually sounds legit. I don't see them asking for privacy unless they felt invaded and they were promised privacy at this resort in that way so it should've been respected. As far as I know, they've never really asked for stuff especially regarding privacy not even when that tik tok girl recorded them at the Crazy Horse place in Paris, and that was actually invasive. For all we know she recorded conversation and just didn't release it. That was invading for sure. I think the lack of respect we as fans have sometimes is so telling and it's sad. Two of the nicest celebrities and we can't let them alone for a little bit. And YESSS girl, I stand with you on social media. It's not everything. Someone said, Tom has changed. I don't think he has at all actually. Definitely more mature, but, still playful and loving from what I see on the outside. He's too diplomatic I think honestly, he let's people say things but doesn't really respond and when he does people attack him because they aren't use to him responding. He ain't passive, he just seems to always take the high road. Very admirable. This is about to be a married man, he is doing exactly what I would want my man to do celebrity or not. Protect me boo, and I will thank you later for it. Adore them as a couple and I hope the constant scrutiny they each endure, especially him, doesn't ruin anything. This world could really use the kindness, we see so little of it. Especially on Twitter. That's another story . Anywho, love your blog ma'am. Keep up the great work. Stay neutral and kind as always.

Awww... thanks Anon for the kind words about my blog. ❤

In answer to your ask....I agree with everything you've said.

I promised myself I wouldn't discuss this anymore, but I keep breaking my promises..... 🤦🏾‍♀️

Anyway, I agree w/you...

I feel like the main issue in this case was the fact that they were on vacation with each other and they had more than likely chosen the place/location specifically for its privacy. So to see that someone deliberately broke resort policy and not only filmed them w/out their consent, but also went out of their way to POST it PUBLICLY for the world to see? 👀

Yeaaaa.....I can see how that didn't go over too well with either of them. 🥴

I don't blame them for feeling a little violated. It wasn't even the paps who caught them (who celebrities realize they just can't control, no matter how much they wish they could), but it was a fan/hotel guest!! 😳 Someone who doesn't even make their living trying to get celebrity photos caught them. I can see how TZ were worried that it would start to cause an influx of fans and maybe even paps to catch on to their location and snap even more pictures and post them online. 🤦🏾‍♀️

So yea, I totally get it why Tom and Z weren't feeling that too much. 🥴 I don't see anything wrong with them speaking up about it, especially if the location they were vacationing at was supposed to be private and had a strict policy against photographing guests against their consent...especially celebrities.

Re: Social media, lack of respect, etc

Yep! I agree with this also. I think social media has caused fans to overstep their boundaries a bit when it comes to celebrities. 👀 Just being honest. While I can totally understand the excitement and whatever, I think some fans need to just put themselves in the shoes of their celebrity faves for a hot second. Think about how YOU would feel if strangers did certain things to you! It might not feel all that nice.

That's not even going into the haters who post hurtful, mean and unkind things to celebrities on their posts, or tag them in tweets bashing them for no good reason, etc. 😔 Yea, some ppl can say, "well just ignore it" (and I'm sure many celebs try to), but at the end of the day, they're still human, and sometimes words hurt! Especially when you know that these ppl don't know a thing about you personally, or lies have been spread about you all over the internet and ppl are reacting to the lie instead of the truth that you know. It's just crazy. 🥴

Re: Tom...

Yea, I don't think Tom has really changed who he is as a person either! I mean, I'm sure he's seen the downsides to massive fame, and has kind of learned a bit how to be more wise with his fans and fame level. But overall, he's obviously still the nice, kind, good guy that we've always known, and fan encounters and the things that ppl say about him reflect that! 😃

And yea girl.... I want my man to PROTECT me too!! Shoot lol.... 😂 If anything, ppl could argue that he was really protecting Zendaya with that plea to take down the video, because in all honesty, Tom's back was to the camera, so he could have been any old dude walking along the beach. But it was Zendaya who's face could be clearly seen in the video, on her bikini, splashing in the water.....

Anyway....

I adore them as a couple too Anon 🥰, and I really wish that this world would be more kind to others.

I believe it was the Dalai Lama who said:

Be kind whenever possible. It is ALWAYS possible. - Dalai Lama

[aspoonfuloffiction]

Yeah to be fair to Edwina, Anthony didn't outright say he loves her but he also never really gave her the same "do not expect love in our marriage" speech that he gave Kate. The closest he was honest to her before the wedding was during the poetry reading where he never said anything about there never being love, he simply said that he's not a man of poetry, but of action, that if she would ever want something to be done, she could expect that from him. And from Edwina's perspective, given the rules of courtship, him inviting her family BEFORE any other one at Aubrey Hall, sitting next to her and privately speaking to her about how she'd deal if she were to be married to him, it's not her fault in the slightest that she expected him to propose sooner, or to be glad and happy once he finally did even though he of course did it for the wrong reasons. For him to do so it would obviously have to AT LEAST be that he is into her and wants to spend his life with her, so I can't blame Edwina for being unsure if he loves her but thinking that he might. And like, he went through A LOT just to gain her attention in episode 2 in spite of Kate's refusal to give him approval, if he wanted just any wife he could've easily taken another debutante for courtship. Unfortunately for Edwina the true reason as to why he even did all of that weren't clear, but tbf it wasn't to the other older adults either.

Also in relation to Edwina's behavior because of another text post, I don't condone her and Kate fighting but I also don't understand it when people are all "ugh Edwina was too much after the wedding" like I'm so confused about this because, what?? She was publicly humiliated because her fiance wouldn't stop looking at her own sister during their wedding being officiated, she was lied to CONSTANTLY by Kate, mislead to the altar of all things and even likely further by Anthony if they had gotten married, she's allowed to be angry? And I personally found it really realistic how she went hot and cold on Kate after that because anger can be complicated and isn't always controlled. I hate that Kate went through all of that but I also understand where Edwina comes from re: her emotions because pretty much her entire life has been turned upside down because of the recent events, she's had to find out that her grandparents will never connect with her now and how they truly feel about her family, she spent all this time trying to be a perfect potential wife for Anthony only for it to be for nothing. And on top of all of this she's still a young woman who's had to mask her feelings in order to seem perfectly approachable. Both Kate and her allowed to be complicated and to be angry and it's possible to sympathize with both.

I’m putting these two asks together because I think its the same person?! If not I’m super sorry!!! Feel free to correct me! I also just like to answer similar asks at once.

But yeah basically all of this. Co-signed. My thing is if you can excuse Kate lying to Edwina about the Sheffield situation as well as her growing feels for Anthony then why is Edwina’s breakdown so inexcusable?

And even more than that if you can excuse Anthony for proposing to Edwina while he was undeniably attracted to her sister then and you can’t excuse Edwina a week (it is literally just a week if that) of anger. I have to wonder what is it about Edwina that is so unforgivable?

(I mean I know the answer but still)

[spade-snax]

Alright! Here goes my Bugsnax Grumpus last name headcanon!

(This ended up being way longer than I thought it would've been, oh god-)

I think we all can agree that the headcanon where a Grumpus child has their parent's combined last names as their own last name is a very common headcanon people share. It's a good one! Even I like it a lot. And when applied to OCs or fankids it makes for some hilarious names.

It'd make sense in-canon and I feel like it gives the Grumpus world more depth as their own little tradition. (Honestly give me ANY culture/tradition headcanon for Grumpuses PLEASE THOSE ARE MY FAVORITEEEE I even had one for teeth a while ago that I may share publicly one day!!)

But I've been thinking about this, especially because of Cromdo and my own OCs - Neddy and Rason Honeyfidget. With Rason being Neddy's dad, if we only used this headcanon then Neddy shouldn't have this last name... Well, there's a lore reason why he doesnt and that is that his mother has died while he was still an egg, a while before hatching. Rason made him take on "Honeyfidget" only.

But that's just the backstory that got me thinking at the name traditions as a whole, so I'll try to avoid OC talk any further to make this friendlier for others who do not know about my OCs and are just interested in reading this headcanon.

Another headcanon I want to mention as I apply it to my own is the headcanon that Triffany changed her last name to Bronica's last name as a way to honor her. You can definitely change your name to anything you want in the Grumpus world, but changing your last name to a relative's like your grandparent's last name is possibly quite common!

And now I want to bring up Cromdo and the fact he is divorced. It has been confirmed that Cromdo is divorced and that his name may reflect that. (Though originally it was answered in the AMA that "Cromdo Face" just sounded funny at first and that it is possible that he did loose a half of his last name this way!)

Also I want to say that he wasn't abusive to the child mentioned! I remember there was a small confusion and drama about that. And I believe one of the devs on the YH discord mentioned that the 1# tie was a reference to Octodad. I do not remember if that confirmed that he is a father or if this answer by Sage was possibly wrong. He cannot see the child because he lost custody of them and lost in court. I do not have screenshot evidence of this. On a side-note I believe this could be one of the reasons he grew to be so money hungry. He didn't have enough money back then to keep his child. Again I want to say it could be ONE of the reasons and not the exact reason why he is this way.

This is more so of an ramble about my headcanon and what I want to say rather than some comprehensive thing, I am so sorry dfwergeg it's just how I write and explain things and I gotta mention it ALL (Great addition to "Guzma, your ADHD is showing")

Anyways, back on track with my HC.

But in this/my headcanon - Cromdo is divorced, he has had a child, and lost a part of his last name because of the divorce. I do not know how human marriage last name and stuff works properly so uh, see this as just speculation about a fictional species' culture rather than a carbon copy of our own. Which it clearly isn't LOL

I personally think that you can do multiple things with your last name when you get married! (And how it can affect the child's last name!)

Let's use Chandlo and Snorpy as examples, because I think they make great last name combinations. (And Snorplo is HELLA !!/pos)

- You can change your last name to your partner's last name, like we do commonly. (At least, with all the cultures I'm aware of and how marriage works for us.) Examples: Snorpy Funkbun, Chandlo Fizzlebean

(This one isn't very common to do!)

- You can change one half of your last name to a half from your partner's last name. Examples: Snorpy/Chandlo Funkbun/Fizzlebun

(Not as common either, but it still happens. It is actually more common than the first example. This was the case for Cromdo. I'll get back to this later. Grumps usually reserve this for their childen, which is the most common way of naming your children!)

- You keep your last name after marriage! Example: Snorpy Fizzlebean. Chandlo Funkbun. Canon examples would be Wambus and Triffany as well!

(Most common one to do as many wear their last names with pride or for other reasons - such as Trifanny when she changed her last name to Bronica's last name in this headcanon.)

Before we get to the kids again, I'm gonna go back to Cromdo and what can happen during divorce.

During divorce you can simply change your name back if you changed it, or keep the last name you took from your partner. Many simply change their last names back to what they were originally. Some, if they went by the half/half method, take away the half from their ex-partner only. This leaves some Grumpuses with one worded last names, such as Cromdo.

I think he changed a half of his last name during marriage. After the divorce, he didn't want to "wear" his partner's name anymore and changed his name to Cromdo Face only as Face was a part of his last name he was given at birth. This is most often the default for Grumpuses who have been divorced and took only half of their partner's last name.

If Cromdo - (or any Grumpus with a one-word last name! There's certainly rare cases of Grumpuses who have one word that didn't go through divorce. Possibly Grumpuses with bad attachment to one of their parents - so they change or remove that half of the last name they got from said parent. If their last name was a combination.) - were to re-marry he could take one half of his new partner's last name, or not change his name at all.

I want to get onto how naming a child would work with this situation, so I will talk about ways of naming children before I get back to this! And by naming I of course mean the last names only, lol.

(One rule is that, unless you change your name later in real life for any reason, it's gonna have to be one of these otherwise! Your Grump parent cannot make you up a new last name. It is just a part of the tradition they have. Though re-naming isn't looked upon in any way by the majority of Grumpuses as there are many reasons to do so!! Unless you're a jerk or you value your last name TOO much.) (Also when I say "you" I don't mean YOU as the reader literally. I mean a hypothetical Grumpus child!! It's just how I like wording things.

(...I've been writing for almost an hour, brain scrampled eg)

- Your last name is the combined name of your parent's last names. Examples: Fizzlebun, Funkbean

(VERY COMMON! Most Grumpuses will do this when first naming their child!)

- Your keep one of your parent's last name! Fizzlebean or Funkbun.

(This all works if you have multiple parents btw! Can make for SUPER crazy long and funny last names. This *all* applies to marriage, too! I hope it is easily applicable. I do not want to go in depth on that. Feel free to hit me an ask about this if you want me to explain it more in depth!! I wouldn't want to exclude polyamorous relationships ^^ )

(Also yes, last names that are just the same word repeated twice/multiple times are possible too. Fizzlefizzle, Funkfunk... How fun are these to say? Gives me Grumpus OC name ideas already.)

But yes! Back to Cromdo! Or any Grumpus in the same situation, but as I've stater earlier, Cromdo is just an example here. If he were to re-marry and NOT change his name, there's two posibilities:

His new partner has a full last name.

In this situation, if they have a child they can keep the full last name from Cromdo's partner. Or they can have one word from his partner + Face. For reasons stated below the child cannot have "Face" as their only last name.

His new partner has a one-worded, short last name like he does.

In this situation, if they have a child they have to name it a combination of their last name's. No exception. Having a short last name is a sign of something happening in your life, and it is traditionally not put onto a child, unless they are adopted with no last name. That still counts as something that happened in their life, as their birth parents possibly just gave them away with no care in the world.

------------------------------------------

At this point I am almost completely off track, so please do ask me questions as I am not sure where I completely left off - Or rather if there is something I forgot that I wanted to mention.

By the way, for combining last names and such, you can also mis-match! Doesn't even have to be combinations. This applies to everything, even for (Full last name + one-word last names) where it makes sense the most. Examples: Beanfizzle, Bunfunk, Bunbean, Bunfizzle, Beanbun, Beanfunk. I'm personally a big fan of Bunfunk and Beanbun :P)

And this applies to siblings, too! It isn't uncommon for parents naming their children mis-matched last name combinations if they have multiple ones. (This ties into my headcanon for Filbo's many siblings and that he isn't a single child. He's in a big household and has at least 2 siblings. ONE OF WHICH I want to make into an OC! This requires me to make the parents, too, but I am not so bothered about that :P)

I'm out for now, all my brain power has left me a few paragraphs ago and I've got to go eat lunch

But again I encourage people to ask me questions (If anyone was brave enough to read through this!!)

And if I got anything wrong, do let me know! I am not all-knowing and I could've missed some VERY OBVIOUS mistakes.

And sorry if the writing is wonky at times! Sometimes it is done on purpose but sometimes the fact I only pretend I know how to write + the fact English is my second language IS SHOWING

(Also I sometimes just write how I think, without much thought put into the sentence if I don't proof read, so HSDFWERGRGT)

[go-go-devil]

⭐✨🌟!!

You want me to comment on a selection from one of fics, eh?

I thought I could easily find a paragraph or scene to talk about, but it seems my mind's been overthinking it when it comes to picking out just one scene. So instead I'm gonna give some commentary on a work that I have not discussed in any detail with anyone yet...

My Ghost fanfic, For A Divine Cause!

Although I had written fanfiction before when I was younger, it was mostly just very short stories or headcanons that I wrote in my school notebooks during study hall. This story here was not only the first "proper" fanfic I wrote, but also the first one I ever publicly published online.

At the time I was hyperfixating on Ghost and started getting back into reading fanfiction, but the problem for me was that most Ghost fics were either smut stories or had graphic sex scenes in them. As a sex-repulsed person this was disappointing but not unexpected, considering the band was known for their celebration of the act of sex and that, unfortunately, a large amount of fanfiction in general is highly sexual in nature. It was and still is a major reason why I don't read very much of it tbh.

That being said, I looked at the lack of Gen fics on Ghost's AO3 page and decided to take matters into my own hands. If there weren't any fics exploring Papa Emeritus I showing vulnerability and being supported by his little brother Terzo, then I was gonna write one myself! After four goddamn months of writing the thing while also completing my final semester for my Bachelor's degree AND during the initial wave of COVID-19, I finally uploaded the fic, got some initial praise from fans that boosted my confidence, and then moved on to writing Hylics fanfics and have not read it since.

The reason it took me so long to answer your ask was because I actually went back and re-read it, and looking back on it now...

I still like it quite a bit! However, my writing style has become so different from how I wrote it that reading it again made me realize that, at that point, I seemed to be more focused on writing in a style that I thought "fit the fanfiction writing scheme" more so than how I actually wrote, even at the time (or at least what I thought the fanfic writing scheme was supposed to look like).

Take this scene for example:

[Upon reaching the fountain, he wasted no time sitting down on one of the grey stone benches nearby, letting the cooled air envelope him as he took off his jacket. From a short distance he could see two Brothers of Sin walking along the cloister, both staring directly at him. When he met eye contact with them, they instantly turned their heads away and quickened their pace. Secondo chuckled.

“You know, I wasn’t going to say anything about the outfit-“

“Oh Belial Below, please don’t.”

“But you can actually pull it off decently, especially for someone of your age. You’d look good in some finer leather.”

Primo groaned, “I doubt I would feel any good wearing it.”

“You could have it tailored if you’re worried about tightness. I know someone who could help you with that.”]

Notice how the dialogue here is largely just their own sentences, with no descriptions on how the characters have spoken or what actions/expressions they're making. While I would write dialogue like this for a long conversation (after establishing which character is speaking the initial lines and which one's responding), I would never write conversations like this again as it comes across as too sparse in detail for me to get fully immersed.

I believe the reason I made this decision was because I saw a lot of other writers in this fandom and others write dialogue this loosely. Please don't take this to say their writing is inherently worse than mine because they choose this specific style! I'm just making a point that I was so nervous about writing public stories at the time that I focused more on what I believed other people wanted from my writing as opposed to how I wanted to write my stories.

Besides that, the one other thing I would change was how I handled Cardinal Copia's very brief cameo in this story. In the initial draft of FADC I was originally going to have Copia play the role of a minor antagonist for Primo by having him stand alongside Nihil and Sister Imperator as they criticized his poor performance in the practice concert, with Imperator not-so-subtly suggesting that perhaps the Cardinal would be a better frontman for the Ghost Project. The reason I left this out was simply because I was having trouble writing him into the scene and, just wanting to get the chapter done after a long period of writer's block, scrapped all of his scenes outside of him sitting in the front row. What can I say? Sometimes even fun fanfic writing needs to get trimmed down for the sake of the story (or in that case for my sanity lol).

The one other thing I'd like to say about this work is that I really need to add a "Autistic Papa I" tag to it. I very blatantly wrote Primo as autistic in this fic as it's one of my headcanons for him, but at the time had no idea how to properly tag a fanfiction and didn't realize that perhaps it would be a good idea to advertise my autistic character hcs so that other neurodivergent fans can enjoy!

And that's all I have to say about that one! I hope my commentary was at least a little bit interesting for you :)

[anonthenullifier]

Hiii!!! I just finished reading your Snapshots fic on ao3 and they're all amazing!!! I love how you write the family dynamics between the kids and wanda/vision, they're all vv sweet and I'm here for it!! Do u think tommy and billy ever did a parent trap kind of switch for some reason?

Thank you so much! 😁 This was a fun ask and I hope you enjoy! 

***

The sizzle of butter in the skillet provides a lively accompaniment to Wanda’s aggravation about the morning’s latest headline - one claiming that Tony Stark was personally responsible for the matchmaking that brought Vision and his lovely, currently scarlet eyed, wife together. It’s a claim not without some merit, if not for Tony’s involvement in Ultron’s creation and then in Vision’s own birth, he never would have been alive to fall so deeply in love with Wanda; however, as with most claims involving Tony it is also inherently hyperbolic. Had the billionaire actually been involved in Vision’s romantic pursuits, there is a very high probability that Wanda would have run the other direction.

“And you know what else it said?”

Vision scoops the pancake batter carefully into the buttered skillet as he responds, “What?”

“That he’s the reason Billy and Tommy want to be Avengers.” The only reason Wanda’s tea does not spill over the edge as she gesticulates out her anger is because she has wrapped it in a sheen of red. “Him!”

Grandiose sense of self worth is a rather glaring fault in the Stark family, a symptom Vision thankfully bypassed, no doubt due to the humble yet confident influence of Dr. Cho. “It is an unfair and misleading statement,” this diffuses her ire enough for her to take a sip of tea, “all that truly matters,” momentarily he turns from the stove to wrap his fingers around her upper arms and stare intently into her eyes, “is that we continue encouraging our sons to be their best selves, even if our work is never publicly acknowledged.”

Finally her face softens, the disdain etched into the lines of her forehead smoothing out with the roll of her eyes, “Fine.” Vision lays a peck to her forehead before turning back to rescue the almost burnt pancakes, “but wouldn’t it be nice if someone praised us for once?”

“It would.”

“Morning mom, dad.”

“Good morning Bil…” Vision’s mouth stops mid-greeting, brain a bit frenzied at the mixed signals he is receiving. The voice that just greeted him registers as Billy and yet the boy in front of him is sporting Tommy’s signature snowy hair and athletic clothing. “Um…”

“Tommy,” Wanda’s acknowledgement of their son should clarify everything, yet he can sense an odd amusement in the way she says the name, “why don’t you sit down, your father’s almost done with breakfast.”

To further add to the confusion of the moment, Tommy merely flashes them a grin (no snarky comment nor demands for it to cook faster) and then slides into Billy’s seat at the table.

Wanda’s hand comes to rest on Vision’s back, her voice low and a bit giddy, “This is going to be entertaining.”

“What is?”

“Just wait…” No further information is provided other than a wink.

Vision attempts to shove his curiosity and need to ask for more clarity down, instead channeling all of his energy into the pancakes and not burning them. Success at this repression endeavor is fleeting, the moment he turns to put the plate on the table, he cannot help but ask a question. “Where is your brother?” A glance up confirms it is three minutes past their usual breakfast time. Billy, like Vision, believes in punctuality and that being five minutes early is on time and being on time is late. For him to be late by normative standards is concerning. “It is unlike him to be late.”

Tommy chokes on his orange juice, eyes a tad wild as he twists around to look at the clock. “Um, I’ll go-“

“Good morning everyone!” Billy waltzes in with a cheery grin, his overall presence gregarious and brash, neither a word typically associated with him. His unusual mood  is highlighted all the more by  the uncharacteristically sloppy way his sweater is buttoned. “I’m famished.” A sentiment rarely shared by Billy.

Vision is torn between staring at his sons and seeking out Wanda’s reaction to whatever is happening in their kitchen. “Tommy,” his brother's name is overly enunciated, and the question, “Why are you in my seat?” asked with annoyance.

“Oh, sorry,” Tommy apologizes quickly, a first for sure, and then slides over to his normal chair.

This is, for want of a better word, weird.

Wanda, somehow, is making everyday small talk with their sons but Vision doesn’t process what is said, too focused on studying his children and the bevy of possibilities for why they seem so off. The initial fear is that they are Skrulls or some other shape shifting creature, a possibility they have sadly lived through before, not with the boys but on a mission with the Avengers. A vitals and physiology scan disconfirms this hypothesis (thankfully), the two bodies across the table are his sons. Despite this Tommy is eating at a snail’s pace, knife and fork working with precise movements to portion out perfect sized bites while Billy is going fast and loose with his fork, each bite different from the last. It also seems like Billy’s hair is a slightly different shade than usual, a tinge of cinnamon in his typically chestnut hair. Perhaps they have wandered into the multiverse yet again, though Wanda is his Wanda, he is certain of that and she seems to be more amused than concerned. Which means there must be a logical explanation.

Vision decides perhaps listening to the conversation at the table will better aid him. “Are you ready for the big math test today?” This is directed at Tommy, a pre-algebra exam Vision has spent several nights helping him study for.

Contrary to the numerous breakdowns that informed Vision that his son was going to fail so why bother trying, this morning Tommy seems...optimistic. “Yeah, dad’s prepared me well,” and overtly gracious.

“And Billy,” Wanda nudges Vision’s foot as she talks, always a sign he needs to get out of his head and pay attention, “today’s the mile run in gym, right?”

“Yep,” Billy answers while shoving a pancake into his mouth, continuing to talk while he chews, “gonna beat my record for sure.” This comment, and the smarmy confidence behind it, sets a new hypothesis into motion.  

Vision runs a second vitals scan, this time focusing on heart rate and brain waves. The results are surprising yet informative, but just to be sure, he recalibrates his sensors, scans again, and re-analyzes it, not wanting to make an erroneous conclusion if his sensors were off. The results match his last scan and the oddities suddenly make sense. Finally figured it out? He turns towards Wanda, her face set with impish victory typically reserved for when she bests him at training. A dip of his chin affirms her telepathic comment though his own mood is nowhere near as bubbly as hers because despite knowing the truth now, it does not actually alleviate any of his concern, in fact it breeds several other pathways of uncertainty. Follow my lead.  

The devious undertone of his wife’s comment transforms into an innocent smile as she addresses their sons. “Well boys,” both of their sons look up, “since it’s such a big day, we should celebrate later.” A shared look occurs between Billy and Tommy, one that Vision can’t quite label appropriately, a mix of excitement, bafflement, and victory.

‘Billy’ prods for more, his fork tapping the plate at roughly 200 clinks per minute. “Like what?”

Wanda is so natural at uncovering their lies that Vision can only sit back in awe at the way she effortlessly teases out the truth, “I need to meet with Strange later today, so Billy you can come along and we can ask if he’s finally willing to start training you to be a sorcerer.”

The current Tommy stares mouth agape at the offer, while the current Billy seems unimpressed, “Oh, um yeah, that’d be cool.”

“And Tommy,” Wanda reaches out to grab Vision’s hand, a gesture that is blissfully common but is right now no doubt meant to really drive home the offer, “Your father was going to do some speed trials this afternoon, maybe he can call the school so you can leave a period early and join him.” Vision was not going to do this but he withholds that knowledge so he doesn’t hinder his wife’s plan.

Tommy and Billy turn towards each other, no verbal words exchanged but Vision can easily recognize one of their telepathic conversations—bodies tense, their faces fluttering through a range of emotions, and eyebrows moving in emphasis of whatever comments they’re making. They break and ‘Tommy’ addresses the offer, “Billy has gym in 8th period.”

“Which is why he and I are going to meet with Stephen after school.” Wanda takes a deliberately long sip of her tea to let the information really settle in.

Their tactics switch to the other offer.“Isn’t uh truancy a pretty big deal, you know, if I,” ‘Billy’ catches himself, “Tommy were to leave early.

Vision decides he should aid in some way, voice matter of fact as he responds, “I do believe Tommy has a free period at that time. Plus,” thankfully this next part is not a lie or else Vision would feel guilty saying it, “I have to attend the PTA meeting tonight so we cannot wait until school is out if we would like to get a full session of training in.”

Another deep, very animated mental conversation occurs across the table, one that leads to an exaggerated roll of his wife’s eyes. “What if…”

Wanda cuts off the next suggestion, clearly done with the game, “Just accept that you’ve been caught.”

The two faces across from them are polar opposite, one shining with defiance and the other defeat. With a sigh, Tommy’s white hair darkens into chestnut, the real Billy slouching deep into his chair. His brother is not amused, “Are you really breaking that easily?”

Vision checks the time, noting their bus will arrive in less than 10 minutes. “Boys,” there are several things he wants to say, from questioning Tommy’s brown hair to why they thought they’d get away with it, but he decides those can wait, “perhaps instead of our planned celebrations tonight, we have a discussion on the harms of deception.”

Tommy, the real one, executes a perfect Maximoff eye roll, never one to appreciate the life lesson evenings that correspond with poor behavior. “It was just a joke.”

“I do not find it humorous.” And Vision does not, a deep despair blossoming in his chest at what his sons have attempted and what it means for how their sons view them, whether they think they are not loved enough nor noticed enough to be recognized by their own parents. “You intended to utilize this...joke for personal gain.”

Wanda cuts in, hand coming to rest on Vision’s thigh with a light, reassuring squeeze. “Why don’t you both change. The bus will be here soon. We’ll talk more tonight.” Muttered yes, mom s are lost in the scraping of their chairs against the wooden floor. “Tommy.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you dye your hair?”

“Yep,” Tommy runs his hand through his darkened locks, “the box called it chili chocolate.”

Wanda smirks, finding this far more endearing than Vision. “Just promise to use it responsibly.”

A not fully convincing salute goes along with Tommy’s, “Roger that,” and then he runs off in a blur.

“Wanda,” Vision waits until she looks at him, a bit unnerved that she does not seem to show any of the same concern for what just happened. “Are you not troubled at their flagrant disregard for honesty?”

Her eyebrows arch up, lips pursed the way they are whenever he has misassessed human nature and she needs to find a way to gently talk him through it. “It’s kind of a twin rite of passage.”

This is not forthcoming nor satisfying. “Did you and Pietro do this as well?”

“Once or twice.” His confusion must be evident, her lips curving up into a reminiscent mischief. “We weren’t good at it, especially once we were older. But you have to try.”

“Do you?”

A nod confirms the apparent necessity of such an experiment, though no further explanation is provided for Vision to comprehend why it is required. “You’ve never seen the Parent Trap, have you?”

“I have not.”

Scarlet energy entangles itself around the dishes at the table, floating them into the sink and away from their responsibility for now. “Come on,” Wanda stands and tugs on Vision’s hand, drawing him up out of his seat and then leading him into the living room. As she lightly pushes him to sit in the couch, a rush of feet, a banging door and a quick bye! marks the start of the school day, leaving them alone until this afternoon. “Want to watch a movie?”

“I suppose,” he wraps his arm around her shoulders after she sits next to him, pulling her closer and relishing the comfort of her head on his chest, “if it provides adequate research to understanding this cultural necessity of deceit, then yes.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

Vision considers the comment a touch longer than needed, just enough for her to look up at him in anticipation, “if it means a day spent with you,” he kisses her deeply, mirroring the soft curve of her lips as he pulls away,”then it is still a yes.”

“Good.” The tv turns on and his education begins.

[kira-ani-mcgrath]

I've little interest in Frozen stuff but I've seen bits and pieces of this Hans stuff you've mentioned on and off and I'm curious about something. When you say someone is acting un-Christlike by saying a character is irredeemable, what is it you exactly mean? Because sometimes yea, it can be narratively unsatisfying to randomly redeem a character in a story. Example: People debating if it would be narratively satisfying if Azula got redeemed. It's got nothing to do with worldview imo.

For context, this ask comes in the wake of this post.

I’m posting this reply publicly so I can refer back to it if needed in the future. I received a similar ask [hopefully that link works] on the heels of this post, which I answered privately without saving a copy of my response, and it would have been useful if I’d saved and/or posted it. Thus, here we are.

I want to make something 100% unquestionably clear to anyone who follows me or reads my posts: whenever I criticize someone labeling Hans “unredeemable”/“irredeemable” it is ALWAYS in the context of someone declaring him un/irredeemable because of what he has done.

It is NEVER people saying they don’t think Disney should redeem him because they’re worried WDAS will do a terrible job of it. It is NEVER people saying they don’t want him redeemed in an unsatisfying manner (i.e.: “BTW he’s good now, he changed off-screen and now he’s back like nothing bad happened.”). It is NEVER people saying that his redemption may not fit well into a particular scenario. It confuses me that people are interpreting my words this way, because if I were to express concern about the way a character’s actual or potential redemption were handled, I would never do it by labeling the character irredeemable or saying the character shouldn’t be redeemed at all, full stop. I would include the nuances I am referring to, such as “The character shouldn’t be redeemed off-screen,” or “The character shouldn’t be redeemed in this movie.” Therefore, if I am saying people shouldn’t call a character irredeemable, I’m not referring to specific cases such as “The character shouldn’t be redeemed by this creative team,” or, “The character shouldn’t be redeemed in this manner.” I am referring to a much larger picture.

I am criticizing people who say Hans is evil, malicious, unfeeling, manipulative, abusive, a villain, a sociopath, and/or a murder, and therefore he can never and should never be redeemed. I am criticizing people who don’t want Hans redeemed because they have a personal grudge against the character. I am criticizing people who think that once a character crosses a particular line (and apparently this line is unique for Hans, based on what he actually did compared to every other “bad guy” in fictional history), the character is now 100% bad and can never be good in any way ever again.

A Christian should never think this way. There is no unforgivable sin (besides attributing works of the Holy Spirit to Satan, as some of the Pharisees did). We are to love our enemies and desire what is best for them - to be saved, redeemed - and yet I see people with the word “Christian” in their bio bragging about how much they hate Hans because he was so terrible to Anna and Elsa, rejoicing that Hans remains unredeemed in canon, cheering when Anna punches Hans in Frozen, laughing when the Frozen Fever snowball crashes into him, agreeing with Elsa calling him an “unredeemable monster” and approving of her destroying his snow-figure in Frozen II. I see those who say they belong to Christ - the Savior who took on every sin imaginable - saying that Hans is simply too mean, too horrible, too evil to be redeemed. I hope this is obvious, but there should be no such thing as “too [x] for redemption” to the Christian. There is never anyone, real or fictional, beyond salvation and redemption. [The only exception I could think of would be a fictional world where the rules are the antithesis to Christianity - then you could say a character is irredeemable because the very nature of that universe doesn’t allow for the character’s redemption. But that certainly doesn’t apply to Frozen.]

Now to address the Azula example brought up at the end. I’m not an A:TLA fan, but I did watch the entire show and I see the occasional meta cross my dash now and then. I’m not familiar with any debates as you have referenced, so I’m just going to give my own examples to hopefully add some extra clarity to my position.

First, I fail to see how a well-done redemption arc could ever be “narratively unsatisfying,” particularly for the Christian. If it’s well-written and you see the steps the character takes, their failings and their successes, I would think that'd be quite a satisfying story. So what is the actual issue when debating characters’ redemptions? I believe it’s concerns of quality, characterization, and actions.

Given where we see Azula at the end of her fight with Zuko in the finale, it would certainly be unsatisfying if she was chilling in Iroh’s tea shop with everyone in the final moments of the series. Likewise, I would not want to see a Hans redemption where we are re-introduced to Hans and he’s completely apologetic and ready to right any wrongs. In fact, I am put-off by fanfics that start with Hans having already repented, changed, etc., from his canon actions and self. I want to see the process of change, so that it is satisfying when he finally makes the right decision.

Given the existing three seasons of A:TLA, people are free to debate on whether or not room could have been made for an Azula redemption arc. Given the current Frozen material, people are free to debate on whether or not room could have been made for a Hans redemption arc.

Had there been further canon A:TLA material, and there was an Azula redemption arc done as well as Zuko’s (such as described in this Twitter thread), I would have found that very narratively satisfying. Now, others may not like how that theoretical redemption was handled, plotted, etc. That’s perfectly fine. Likewise, people may have certain ways they don’t want a theoretical Hans redemption handled, plotted, etc. Again, perfectly fine. One can disagree on the way a redemption arc was/might be handled without dismissing the redemption altogether.

People may want Azula to remain unredeemed because they believe she would choose to be so. That’s fine (though others are allowed to disagree). For example, if she were to maintain that she did nothing wrong and reject any help Zuko and Iroh offered, then she would remain unredeemed. Alternatively, she could realize that what she did was wrong, but then go the opposite direction and believe she doesn’t deserve anything good, so she would reject love and help at every turn for the rest of her life, and thus remain unredeemed. However, I have never seen anyone call a character “irredeemable” and mean that they believe the character would actively choose to reject offers of redemption.

People may say Azula or Hans shouldn’t be redeemed because it would be out-of-character. From an unbeliever’s perspective, that may be correct, as they think certain traits as immutable. However, that’s wrong from a Christian perspective, as anyone can change if enabled by the grace of God. In fictional worlds that don’t have any Christianity, you simply use an imperfect archetype to play a pivotal role in the character’s transformation (i.e., Uncle Iroh to Zuko).

People may not be against an Azula or Hans redemption in and of itself, but think it makes the most narrative sense to leave the characters unredeemed - whether it be because there wasn’t enough time in canon, or there’s other characters to focus on, or some other behind-the-fourth-wall reason. That doesn’t make the characters irredeemable, it just means that’s the way the story currently stands. There’s no reason that story can’t change in the future.

However, if people are saying Azula shouldn’t be redeemed at all because what she did was too wrong, then that is un-Christ-like. Likewise, saying Hans is irredeemable because what he did was too wrong is indisputably un-Christ-like. Now, of course, I can’t expect unbelievers to act Christ-like, so it doesn’t surprise me when I see them express such sentiments. However, when a Christian argues against redemption on these grounds, I absolutely question why. You claim to stand on the Word of God, but declare there are actions too heinous to be forgiven and characters that don’t deserve redemption? God rebuked a man for his desire to see people punished instead of forgiven [Jonah], forgave adultery and murder [David], and transformed a man from persecuting to teaching the Church [Saul/Paul]. Yet you put your stamp of approval on a lack of redemption for a character because of the actions of that character? Further sanctification is needed, whether in love for the lost or in fully surrendering all to Christ. A lack of redemption should only serve as a warning of what happens to those who reject truth, love, and forgiveness - because, as we know, not everyone will be saved. A Christian should never be against redemption because they personally hate the character, or think the character is unforgivable, or believe the character doesn’t “deserve” it, or any other reason antithetical to who Christ is and what He has done.

[pickledchickenetti]

(pt 1) I'm a woman and am happily married to another woman and I don't understand why everyone was so upset at Krista. She openly supports marriage equality and has defended it. She has close LGBT friends (I know having black friends doesn't make you not racist but in my experience people that have been opposed to my sexual orientation stop being friends with me) and advocates for LGBT persons to be included in the church and conservatives to accept us.

Hi friend, thanks for your thoughts! I don’t know your background, so I hope that my answer doesn’t come across as condescending or rude as that is certainly not my intention. My opinions on Krista’s stance on gay issues are strongly colored by my experiences, which I have no problem admitting. I’m sure plenty of other LGBT folks have different feelings, which is totally fine. For what it’s worth, I saw more people upset with Krista over her posts about abuse victims not remarrying after a divorce than I have over any of the LGBT posts she’s made, but I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t regularly made critical comments about her LGBT posts/stances here. 

In order to be fair to her, I decided to go back through her blog (on Tumblr, not her other blog) and re-read her posts on gay issues in order to make sure that I’m not taking other people’s comments about her or vague memories I have of old posts and projecting my own frustrations with other conservative Christians’ opinions onto Krista.. I’m going to do my best to source anything I reference via links to that post, but I apologize if I miss anything. 

I will also be focusing on issues regarding people who are sexually attracted to the same sex (using the blanket term of “gay”, which also represents bi/pan/etc.) for this post. I am cis myself, and your question references your same-sex relationship and family, so in this case it feels appropriate to stay in my lane and not offer opinions on a cis person’s stances on gender issues as another cis person. I do not mean to exclude gender nonconforming people from the overall LGBT community in any way. 

The oldest about posts I can find from Krista about anything gay-related are anons asking her opinions. I’m fairly sure that this is the first one, where she essentially gives a fairly neutral action that could be interpreted as “I don’t think being gay sends you to hell” or as “I think gay people can go to heaven too as long as they repent of that sin along with the others”. She does not make it clear what her opinion on same-sex attraction specifically is, as another anon then pointed out in this post. Does her tone in addressing the anon bother me? Yes. Does she have the right to call out people she feels are being rude to her? Also yes. 

Early on in the post she says “First, you missed out on a lot of people. It’s actually LGBTQIAAP.” (likely referencing the anon saying LGBTQIA), and it’s just a personal pet peeve of mine for straight people to try to act like they have any authority on things like the acronym, but I realize that that’s just me and she also has no way of knowing the anon’s sexuality so perhaps it was one straight person (sarcastically) informing another straight person of a perceived shortcoming. Perhaps not. She then goes on to defend her refusal to give a “straightforward answer” by, in my opinion, continuing to dodge the question. 

Further down she brags that she “was actually named best advocate at a national moot court competition this past year arguing that Title VII protects against sexual orientation discrimination”. Now maybe I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that moot courts aren’t typically events where you’re expected to defend your own personal beliefs, but events where you are assigned a stance and have to argue it regardless of what you believe. If that’s the case, mentioning that is irrelevant. If it is not the case and she was able to choose that stance, bragging about it for some sort of ally point is, in my opinion, arrogant. 

She ends the post by saying that her LGBT friends “are entitled to all of the rights, privileges, and safeties that I enjoy as a straight woman. Who you love and who you’re attracted to does not change your place in society or the rights that you have or opportunities you should be able to pursue.” Sure, your sexual orientation SHOULDN’T change your place in society or your rights, but it DOES. It absolutely does, and to say that LGBT folks are entitled to the same rights as straight women is, at best, misguided. Krista is a lawyer who has, in theory, interacted with multiple members of the LGBT community, so she should realize that regardless of what should or shouldn’t be true, LGBT still DON’T have the same rights as her in many states, and even in states where legally we have the same rights we still live with fears she will never experience. 

As for the claim that Krista is “not only tolerant of my family but accepting” and that she “accepts me and defends my rights”, here are my thoughts. I don’t want to be tolerated. If you’re cool with just being tolerated then more power to you, but as someone who is merely tolerated by a number of Christians, it really hurts and feels extremely de-humanizing. I do feel that “tolerates” is an accurate word for Krista’s stances on gay people (with the possible exception of the gay friends she claims to have). I do not feel that Krista “defends” gay people and our families beyond her belief that she is legally obligated to uphold the law. She has said that she is “totally fine with gay couples adopting”, which is a positive. She has also said she feels families with same-sex couples should be treated like “any other couple”, which again, is a positive. I guess I just don’t feel like that’s the same as defending. She recently admitted that she has never voted for a Democrat, and while I understand why someone from Vermont might see third-party candidates as viable (because in many Vermont races they are), she has to realize that voting third-party for president is throwing away your vote in the current political climate. Beyond voting, what is she actually DOING to “defend” gay people? Nothing she has ever said makes me think she’s using her privilege to truly defend us to her conservative Christian circles. Unless proven otherwise, I can’t help but feel that she’s able to talk a (vague) big game about being supportive without actually doing any supporting. 

I have recently said that it is my belief that she thinks gay sex/acting on same-sex attractions is sinful, even if our marriages should be legal. I will admit that I formed that opinion largely based on a private conversation I had with her, and which I will not share publicly without her permission. In going through old posts, I came across this post, which I feel also supports this opinion. An anon says that they can’t see any good qualities to overcome “when the thing they disagree with is gay rights/gay marriage/that being gay is a sin”, and that they’d “say the same about someone who identified as a Nazi or a white supremacist”. In Krista’s response, she literally says “But, by the same token, you and I are talking right now, and hopefully, I’m not reminding you of a Nazi”. That statement seems to imply that she falls into at least one of those categories or else why would she remind the anon of a Nazi? In another post she also says that “I do believe that all people are responsible for their sexual BEHAVIOR”, which seems to imply that there is something sinful about sexual behavior between people of the same sex. 

If we want to get down to it, this is the post that was the cause of my initial feeling that Krista was not a safe person for gay people. If someone asks you if you think being LGBTQ+ is a sin and your answer is to tell them they are trying to “stir division”, it is only fair to assume that you think they won’t like your answer. If I ask someone their belief on that subject, I am asking because I want to know their opinion. This anon echoes the same sentiment. If she’s really worried about “stirring division” she should have just ignored the question. 

To anyone still reading at this point, thanks for sticking it out with me. Honestly Krista’s recent posts (paired with some events in my life offline) have really got me thinking, and I have a lot of things weighing on me. I’m glad that you are able to feel that as long as she believes you deserve the same rights as she does it’s fine. I hope you continue to feel safe in that. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t that lucky. Many of us have lived too much of our lives feeling disgusting and broken and worthless because of teachings that that same God she worships and we were brought up to worship disapproves not only of any relationships we have, but of an inherent part of who we are. The biggest reason that I continue to speak out against Krista’s posts is because I just need any scared or confused young gay teenagers in the church to know that they don’t have to settle for being tolerated, and no matter who thinks they’re sinning, they’re not. 

Krista’s posts (in the context of the rest of the blog) would have devastated me at one time in my life. When I speak out against them, I’m usually saying the sorts of things I wish someone would have said to me then.